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People Break Down Which Small Inconveniences They Would Wish On Their Worst Enemies

People Break Down Which Small Inconveniences They Would Wish On Their Worst Enemies

We would never wish death upon our enemies. Right?

Well...let's pretend we wouldn't. And instead we would wish that they constantly stub their pinky toe as they quickly round a corner in their house, or that they can never find their keys when they're running late.

That will surely irritate them enough in payback for all the things they've done to us.


u/twitch870 asked Reddit:

What's a small inconvenience curse that would drive somebody insane?

Here were some of those responses.

Beep...Beep...Beeeeeep

A friend of mine bought a really simple yet devilish device. It was an annoying piezo buzzer attached to a timer that went of randomly anywhere between 30 seconds and like an hour apart. So it would beep in the managers office the manager would eventually get annoyed but have trouble tracking it down because it was so random in the time interval. He'd get up look around eventually give up and it would beep again. It was the BEST week of work ever. The crew lounge looked across the bay at the office so we all got a good laugh. Especially once the cursing started

ka1913

Teh Realness

-types teh

-backspaces to fix it to write "the"

-accidentally types teh again

-gets stuck in an endless loop

natemace

We Call It...Sneezergatory

Every time they want to sneeze, they get stuck in that "limbo" mode for an extra long time where the sneeze is right there about to come out, but it won't.

Sometimes for seconds, sometimes for minutes.

gaveuptheghost

Haha Wish This Didn't Happen To Me So Often

At random intervals into a nice hot shower, the water will go ice cold. Does not matter where they shower. It always happens at least once.

JohnnyCandles

my apartment building was built in the 30s. this is my every shower. sometimes it goes boiling hot.

nightstastelikegold

Mine goes boiling hot if the apartment above me flushes their toilet. My rental manager claims there is no way that can happen. But it only happens when they flush, so it definitely is that. And those @ssholes above me do it on purpose now. They like hearing us scream. Now I turn on the shower and wait to hear if they go into the bathroom and flush, then wait for the water to go back to normal before I'll get in.

TurtleZenn

A Prayer For Wet Socks

Ah!

Damn!

Wet socks...

Such a nuisance.

Oh, how it soaks deeply!

Those dark, cold waters do travel so strongly.

I fear that once my sock has soaked so, I may nary recover.

Oh, cruel fate and my cursed holed boot, why have you betrayed this poor fool whose only crime was to walk?!

Wretched fool am I indeed to place my naive trust in earthly works of man when the Gods, so twisted in their treatment of mankind, see fit to punish us, so weak, so completely!

A puddle, cold and deep, dark and uncaring, such a vicious, wicked thing, stands silently on this cobbled road lying in wait for a moment in humanity's weakness perchance that a man such as I to step haphazardly in so that it may cling and climb through my woolen fibers and corrupt my gentle flesh!

My gentle being cries out in shock and terror, and my body, on its own volition, recoils as the icy embrace of this cursed infliction does travel so deftly from my sorry, sodden foot up my leg through channels unknown and takes firm roots in my soul so that is may proliferate this cruel corruption and waiver my misplaced faith so that now I see all things holy and good in this world are but a farce, a sadistic joke played by Gods that care not for me!

As the wetness grips me like the sharp clutch of some large, relentless raptor fit on rendering the sweet flesh of a helpless, squirming babe such as I, I curse the Gods and beings that I, we, had once thought so holy, with divine wisdom, that now I see, for this cold, dark ripple has opened my eyes, that they seek to destroy this world, what little good there is left in it...

And treat us so insignificantly as if my soul, so easily manipulated, carries not an ounce of weight with which to purchase any right to be, to exist, to matter in this cosmos, and I hear laughing, their twisted chortling, rattling, mocking deep in my brain, and I turn my eyes inward hoping, though so lowly I may be, that I may see these Gods and look upon their wicked forms!

Oh please, oh please, oh please, I must ask, I must know the answers as why me and why like this have you, you great beings, you powerful Gods and forces above all, beyond all, why have you chosen me, because it is quite clear to see, even with these clouded, mortal eyes, that you know me as nothing but a pathetic useless thing for you to bat at like a cat with a mouse, nay, a cat a mouse does not do proper comparison for thee, you great things, you incredibly powerful things, are far much more than a cat and I am far much less than a mouse and through the misery of this coldness...

this aching dampness, creeping, crawling, chilling, rooting up my pale, lifeless leg, my useless leg and my accursed shoe, this holed boot, you great things, an ancient wisdom, you have revealed a world beyond, a world not meant for others, a world I, only just now, can even slightly strain my mind to comprehend and you wanted me to see, to see the unseen, to feel new sensations the likes of which any other mere man or woman shall ne'er be fit to feel, to touch, to be, and I should thank thee, even though I am more miserable, cold, wet, clammy, and damp than I should have ever thought possible, now this reality means nothing.

I shall fall to my knees a pray to you, if you'll have me, if you'll take me, a pathetic fool of a man, dumb to your world, blind to the true world of thee, whose errant stepping landed his imprudent foot, with boot and sock fully submerged in a puddle, a cold and unforgiving puddle, and the cold waters, placed by thee, of course.

I see, I see, I see, and I know that now, the cold waters, the rushing chill soaking my being, my lowly mortal form, myself not fit to exist in the same reality as thee, my great gods, my glorious, powerful rulers of my soul, my body, my mind, the cosmos and beyond, you've shown me, generously of course, of course, your world, though I admittedly cannot fully comprehend it as feebleminded as I am compared to the brilliant, infinite knowledge of all things past, present, future, dreaming, waking, unconscious, subconscious, superconscious, radiant, powerful all knowingness of all these and more, so much, so much more than I can ever know even with one thousand lifetimes, and you've reached through that puddle, and plucked my soul from the plane, broke the chains on my mind, of this fool's dream, and let me be free to gaze, not with eyes...

These useless eyes, these lying horrid things that should be gouged clean from my skull, yes, clean holes to expose my mind, my brain, that thing which I feel your hands, your reach, your presence on me, and yes, I shall use these wretched hands, these primitive tools of a being that is no more to you than an insect is to I, yet to call myself an insect is to think too highly of myself, for your immense omnipresence far exceeds anything, everything, and the fear, this puddle in which you placed, destined for my foot to fall so squarely into, has become the source of so much fear because now my innocence has gone, my ignorance dissolved away, my infinite dreams and endless, abyssal nightmares made far more real than I could have ever believed possible and it is all thanks to your work with the puddle, whether or not you even care about me, my existence, or anything at all.

Delicious-Hot-Dog

Stop Drop Or Go?

Every stop light they approach turns red before they can make it through the intersection.

greenmachine11235

Who put this curse on my mom, because she hits all reds. And then there's me. Idk if there was a misfire on that curse because as I approach the intersection it turns yellow, and there is like, .5 seconds to make a decision to go through or stop. 80% of the time I get a yellow.

arabellag04

Sorry I'm Not Here Right Now, I'm Walking Into Spiderwebs

Someone asked a similar question yesterday-about harmless haunting. I didn't respond to that, but I offer this:

Unseen spider webs.

I used to hike a lot back when I was younger and nothing drove me crazier than walking into an unseen spider web on the trail. It's not just the annoying fact that you now have spider silk all over and around you, but it's also how ridiculous you look to others when you get tangled up in it. You look like an absolute dipsh!t- arms flailing, spitting stuff out of your mouth, your eyes all squinted shut-it's awful.

But to have this all over your home, or climbing into your car each time you have to go somewhere-this would drive a person completely bonkers, I think.

At least it would me. I'd just go nuts.

Warp9-6

Gosh Darn It

Every time they pick up an object, they drop it. The object doesn't break, and they don't drop it again after picking it up, just the initial time.

I figured I'd add that "not breaking" doesn't apply to objects that would definitely break. Just that objects breaking isn't specifically part of the curse. The curse also only applies to inanimate objects.

chaosperfect

EwwWwWwW

Every time they drink a liquid it immediately becomes room temperature.

Trying to drink a hot cup of coffee in the morning? BAM! Room temperature. Want to enjoy an ice cold beer on a hot summer day? NOPE! that beer is warm and foamy.

-eDgAR-

The Ultimate Curse

A curse that does nothing.

They hear a voice say they're cursed, and it doesn't do anything. That way they spend all of their time worrying about what the curse could be until they eventually cause their own problems and blame it on the curse.

proffi2000

Jobs That Seem Easy But Are Actually Incredibly Challenging

Reddit user CeleryLover4U asked: 'What's a job or profession that seems easy, but is incredibly challenging?'

Woman stressed at work
Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

When we hear about other people's jobs, we've surely all done that thing where we make assumptions about the work they do and maybe even judge them for having such an easy or unimportant job.

But some jobs are much harder than they look.

Redditor CeleryLover4U asked:

"What's a job or profession that seems easy but is incredibly challenging?"

Customer Service

"Anything customer-facing. The public is dumb and horrendous."

- gwarrior5

"My go-to explanation is, 'Anyone can do it, but few can do it for long.'"

- Conscious_Camel4830

"The further I get in my corporate career, the less I believe I will ever again be capable of working a public-facing job. I don’t know how I did it in the past. I couldn’t handle it in the present."

"I know people are only getting worse about how they treat workers. It is disturbing, embarrassing, and draining for everyone."

- First-Combination-12

High Stakes

"A pharmacist."

"You face the public. Your mistake can literally kill someone."

- VaeSapiens

"Yes, Pharmacist. So many people think their job is essentially the same as any other kind of retail worker and they just prepare prescriptions written by a doctor without having to know anything about them."

"They are very highly trained in, well, pharmacology; and it's not uncommon for a pharmacist to notice things like potentially dangerous drug interactions that the doctor hadn't."

- Worth_University_884

Teaching Woes

"Two nuggets of wisdom from my mentor teacher when I was younger:"

"'Teaching is the easiest job to do poorly and the hardest job to do well,' and 'You get to choose two of the following three: Friends, family, or being a good teacher. You don't have enough time to do all three.'"

"We all know colleagues or remember teachers who were lazy and chose the easy route, but any teacher who is trying to be a good teacher has probably sacrificed their friends and their sleep for little pay and a stressful work environment. There's a reason something like half quit the profession within the first five years."

- bq87

Creativity Is "Easy"

"Some creative professions, such as designers, are often perceived as 'easy' due to their creative nature. However, they may face the constant need to find inspiration, deal with criticism, and meet deadlines."

- rubberduckyis

"EVERYBODY thinks they are a designer, up until the point of having to do the work. But come critique time, mysteriously, EVERYBODY IS A F**KING DESIGNER AGAIN."

"The most important skill to have as a designer is THICK SKIN."

- whitepepper

Care Fatigue Is Real

"Care work."

"I wish it could be taken for granted that no one thinks it's easy. But unfortunately, many people still see it as an unskilled job and have no idea of the many emotional complexities, or of how much empathy, all the time, is needed to form the sorts of relationships with service users that they really need."

- MangoMatiLemonMelon

Physical Labor Generally Wins

"I’m going to say most types of unskilled labor and that’s because there’s such little (visible) reward and such a huge amount of bulls**t. I’ve done customer service, barista, sales, serving, etc; and it was all much harder than my cushy desk job that actually can be considered life or death."

- anachronistika

Their Memory Banks Must Be Wild

"I don't know if I'd call it incredibly challenging, but being one of those old school taxi drivers who know the city like the back of his hand and can literally just drive wherever being told nothing but an address is pretty impressively skilled."

"Not sure if it's still like this, but British cabbies used to be legendary for this. I'm 40 and I don't think most young people appreciate how much the quality of cab service has gone down since the advent of things like Uber."

"Nowadays it's just kind of expected that a rideshare/cab driver doesn't know exactly where you're trying to get and has to rely on GPS directions that they often f up. Back when I was in college, cabbies were complete experts on their city."

"More even than knowing how to get somewhere, they could also give you advice. You could just generally describe a type of bar/club/business you're looking for, and they'll take you right to one that was spot on. Especially in really big cities like NYC."

- Yak-Mak-5000

Professional Cooking

"Being a chef."

- Canadian_bro7

"I would love to meet the person who thinks being a chef is easy! I cook my own food and it’s not only OK to eat but I make a batch of it so I have some for later. So, to make food that is above good and portion it correctly many times a day and do it consistently with minimal wastage (so they make a profit), strikes me as extremely difficult."

- ChuckDeBongo

Team Leading, Oof

"Anything that involves a lot of people skills and socializing. I thought these positions were just the bulls**t of sitting in meetings all day and not a lot of work happening but having to be the one leading those meetings and doing public speaking is taxing in a way I didn’t realize."

- Counterboudd

Not a Pet Sitter At All

"Veterinary Technician."

"Do the job of an RN, anesthesiology tech, dental hygienist, radiology tech, phlebotomist, lab tech, and CNA, but probably don’t make a living wage and have people undervalue your career because you 'play with puppies and kittens all day.'"

- forthegoddessathena

Harder Than It Looks!

"Sometimes, when my brain is fried from thinking and my ego is shot from not fixing the problem, I want to be a garbage man... not a ton of thinking, just put the trash in the truck, and a lot of them have trucks that do it for you!"

"But if the robot either doesn't work or you don't have one on your truck, it smells really bad, the pay isn't what it used to be, you might find a dead body and certainly find dead animal carcasses... and people are id**ts, overfilling their bags, just to have them fall apart before you get to the truck, not putting their trash out and then blaming you, making you come back out."

"Your body probably is sore every day, and you have to take two baths before you can kiss your wife..."

"Ehh, maybe things are not so bad where I am."

- Joebroni1414

Twiddling Thumbs and Listening

"Therapist here. I’ve always said that it’s pretty easy to be an okay therapist—as in, it’s not that hard to listen to people’s problems and say, 'Oh wow, that’s so hard, poor you.'"

"But to be a good therapist? To know when your client is getting stuck in the same patterns, or to notice what your client isn’t saying? To realize that they’re only ever saying how amazing their spouse is, and to think, 'Hmm, nobody’s marriage is perfect, something’s going on there'?"

"To be able to ask questions like, 'Hey, we’ve been talking a lot about your job, but what’s going on with your family?' And then to be able to call them on their s**t, but with kindness and empathy? Balancing that s**t is hard."

"Anybody can have empathy, but knowing when to use empathy and when and how to challenge someone is so much harder. And that’s only one dimension of what makes being a therapist challenging."

- mylovelanguageiswine

Constant Updates

​"For the most part, my job is really easy (marketing tech). But having to constantly stay on top of new platforms, new tech, updates, etc etc is exhausting and overwhelming and I really hate it."

"Also, the constant responsibility to locate and execute opportunities to optimize things and increase value for higher-ups. Nobody in corporate roles can ever just reach a point of being 'good enough.' More and better is always required."

"Just some of the big reasons I’m considering a career change."

- GlizzyMcGuire_

Performing Is Not Easy

"Performing arts and other types of art. People think it’s a cakewalk or 'not a real job,' not realizing the literal lifetime of training, rejection, and perseverance that it takes to reach a professional level and how insanely competitive those spaces are."

- ThrowRA1r3a5

All About Perception

"I suspect everything fits this. Consider that someone whose job is stacking boxes in a warehouse has to know how to lift boxes, how many can be stacked, know if certain ones must be easily accessible, know how to use any equipment that is used to move boxes around."

"Not to mention if some have hazardous or fragile materials inside, if some HAVE to be stacked on the bottom, if a mistake is made and all the boxes have to be restacked, etc."

"But everyone else is like, 'They're just stacking boxes.'"

- DrHugh

It's easy to make assumptions about someone else's work and responsibilities when we haven't lived with performing those tasks ourselves.

This gave us some things to think about, and it certainly reminded us that nothing good comes of making assumptions, especially when it minimizes someone else's experiences.

Left-handed person holding a Sharpie
Kelly Sikkema/Unsplash

Many of us who are right-handed never even think about how the world is designed to cater to us.

It probably doesn't even cross your mind that 10% of the world's population is left-handed.

Because of this, there tends to be a stigma for being left-handed since society tends to associate the left with negative things.

For example, the phrase "two left feet" applies to those who are clumsy and therefore, incapable of dancing.

Curious to hear more about the challenges facing those with the other dominant hand, Redditor johnnyportillo95 asked:

"What’s something left-handed people have to deal with that right-handed people wouldn’t even think about?"

If only manufacturers appealed to an ambidextrous world.

Furniture Obstacle

"Those desks or couch chairs that have a small desk attached. They do make left handed/sided ones but they are few and far between."

– Prussian__Princess

"And they’re only on one side of the lecture hall, and it’s never a good seat. There is ONE front row, lefty desk in the entire room and it’s in the far corner, obscured by an ancient overhead projector."

– earwighoney

Everyday Objects For Everyday People

"as a left-handed person myself, one thing we often deal with is finding left-handed tools or equipment. many everyday objects, like scissors or can openers, are designed with right-handed people in mind, which can make certain tasks a bit more challenging for us lefties. we also have to adapt to a right-handed world when it comes to writing on whiteboards or using certain computer mice."

– J0rdan_24

Dangerous Tools

"The biggest risk is power tools. I taught myself to use all power tools right handed because of risks using them left handed."

"Trivial, I love dry boards but they are super hard to write on."

– diegojones4

It's hard to play when you're born with a physical disadvantage.

Sports Disadvantage

"Allright, Sports when you are young. Every demonstration from PE teachers are right handed. You cant just copy the movements they teach you you need to flip them and your tiny brain struggoes to process it. As well, 98% of the cheap sports equipment the school uses is right handed."

– AjCheeze

No Future In Softball

"I tried to bat right handed for so long in gym class growing up because the gym teacher never asked me what my dominant side was and the thought never occurred to me as a child to mention it! Needless to say I never became a softball star."

– Leftover-Cheese

Find A Glove That Fits

"In softball and baseball we need a specific glove for our right hand that's often impossible to find unless you own one, and we have to bat on the other side of the plate."

– BowlerSea1569

"I was one of two left-handers in a 4-team Little League in the 1980s. Nobody could pitch to me. I got a lot of "hit by pitch" walks out of it."

– Jef_Wheaton

These examples are understandably annoying.

Shocking Observation

"Having right handed people make comments whenever they see us write, like we’re some kind of alien."

– UsefulIdiot85

"'Woah! You're left-handed????'"

"I find myself noticing when someone is a lefty, and sometimes I comment on it, but I try not to. I'm primarily left-handed (im a right handed wroter but do everything else left), and every single time I go to eat with my family, someone says, "Oh hey, give SilverGladiolus22 the left hand spot, they're left-handed," and inevitably someone says, 'Wait, really?' Lol."

– SilverGladiolus22

Can't Admire The Mug

"We never get to look at the cute graphics on coffee mugs while we’re drinking from them."

– vanetti

"I just realized…I always thought the graphics were made so someone else could read them while you drink. Hmmm."

– Bubbly-Anteater7345

"I'm right-handed and I often wondered why the graphics were turned towards the drinker instead of out for others to see."

– Material-Imagination

The Writing On The Wall

"Writing on whiteboards is a nightmare. I have to float my hand, which tires out my arm quickly, and I can't see what I've already written to keep the line straight."

– darkjedi39

"Also as a teacher, it means I'm standing to the left of where I'm writing, so I'm blocking everything I write. I have to frequently finish writing, then step out of the way so people can see, instead of just being able to stand on the right side the whole time."

– dancingbanana123

Immeasurable

"Rulers."

"How the f'k is no one talking about rulers? It's from 30cm to 0 cm to me, or I have to twist my arms to know the measure I want to trace over it."

– fourangers

Just Can't Win

"EVERYTHING. The world has always been based around people being right handed. As a Chef, my knife skills SUCKED until I worked with a Left Handed Chef. Then it all made sense."

"Literally, everything we do must be observed, then flipped around in our heads, then executed. This is why Lefties die sooner, on average, than Righties."

"I had to learn how to be ambidextrous, just to complete basic tasks (sports, driving a manual, using scissors, etc). I am used to it now, and do many things right handed out of necessity, as wall as parents and teachers 'forcing' it upon me."

"But, at least we are not put to death anymore, simply for using the wrong hand (look it up, it happened)."

"Ole Righty, always keeping us down."

– igenus44

The world doesn't need another demographic to feel "othered" for being different.

But if you're right-handed and tend to make assumptions about left-handed people, you may want to observe the following.

Ronald Yeo, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Texas-Austin told CNN:

"We shouldn’t assume much about people’s personalities or health just because of the hand they write with."
"And we certainly shouldn’t worry about lefties’ chances of success: After all (as of 2015), five of our last seven U.S. presidents have been either left- or mixed-handed."

Word.

Dog lying down on a bed
Photo by Conner Baker on Unsplash

Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.

While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.

Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.

Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.

For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.

Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:

"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"

The Tiny Issue Of Water...

"Absolutely not."

"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649

Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...

"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."

"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."

"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."

"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep

The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...

"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."

"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3

Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen Giphy

What Do You Mean Allow?

"I have no choice."

"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412

"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way

"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show

Hug GIF by The BarkPost Giphy

Who Needs An Alarm Clock?

"I let my two cats sleep with me."

"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."

"And so do I."

"We've all developed a lil routine."

"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_

Whose Bed Is It Anyway?

"Yes."

"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."

"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor

"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."

"Would not come out."

"Got some food and some water in dishes."

"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."

"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."

"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."

"She was too busy eating."

"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."

"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."

"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."

"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."

"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."

"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."

"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."

"She would not go."

"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."

"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588

sleepy kitten GIF Giphy

Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...

"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."

"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."

"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle

Saying No Just Isn't An Option...

"'Let'."

"Lol."

"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren

Felines Only!

"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz

Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official Giphy

Is That My Hair On That Pillow?

"My dog is perfect."

"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."

"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."

"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester

It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.

Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...


Close up of an owl tilting their head to side, looking bewildered
Photo by Josh Mills

The old wives' tales.

They are the stories of legend.

I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.

Where did they originate?

WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!

You don't hear about them as much anymore.

It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.

But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.

Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:

"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"

"Wait an hour to swim after eating."

What a crock!

So many summer hours wasted.

I want revenge for that one.

Say Nothing

Giphy

"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."

LonelyMail5115

"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."

I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA

Say Something

"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."

Severe_Airport1426

"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."

crappycurtains

"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."

AlbinoShavedGorilla

Body Temps

"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."

chriseo22

"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."

"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."

apocalypticradish

Arms Down

"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."

Fatmouse84

10 Years Actually

Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine Giphy

"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."

REDDIT

"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."

Gecko-911

I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.

This tale is haunting.

High/Low

Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace Giphy

"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."

LeastFormal9366

"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."

IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI

The Cursed

"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."

"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."

SmoreOfBabylon

Stay In

"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."

"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."

worldbound0514

Dreams and Facts

"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."

"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."

mattshonestreddit

"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."

Darthdemented

Cracked

Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office Giphy

"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."

Choice-Grapefruit-44

"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."

MacyTmcterry

I love my knuckles.

Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.