People Break Down Which Small Inconveniences They Would Wish On Their Worst Enemies
We would never wish death upon our enemies. Right?
Well...let's pretend we wouldn't. And instead we would wish that they constantly stub their pinky toe as they quickly round a corner in their house, or that they can never find their keys when they're running late.
That will surely irritate them enough in payback for all the things they've done to us.
u/twitch870 asked Reddit:
What's a small inconvenience curse that would drive somebody insane?
Here were some of those responses.
A friend of mine bought a really simple yet devilish device. It was an annoying piezo buzzer attached to a timer that went of randomly anywhere between 30 seconds and like an hour apart. So it would beep in the managers office the manager would eventually get annoyed but have trouble tracking it down because it was so random in the time interval. He'd get up look around eventually give up and it would beep again. It was the BEST week of work ever. The crew lounge looked across the bay at the office so we all got a good laugh. Especially once the cursing started
-backspaces to fix it to write "the"
-accidentally types teh again
-gets stuck in an endless loop
We Call It...Sneezergatory
Every time they want to sneeze, they get stuck in that "limbo" mode for an extra long time where the sneeze is right there about to come out, but it won't.
Sometimes for seconds, sometimes for minutes.
Haha Wish This Didn't Happen To Me So Often
At random intervals into a nice hot shower, the water will go ice cold. Does not matter where they shower. It always happens at least once.
my apartment building was built in the 30s. this is my every shower. sometimes it goes boiling hot.
Mine goes boiling hot if the apartment above me flushes their toilet. My rental manager claims there is no way that can happen. But it only happens when they flush, so it definitely is that. And those @ssholes above me do it on purpose now. They like hearing us scream. Now I turn on the shower and wait to hear if they go into the bathroom and flush, then wait for the water to go back to normal before I'll get in.
A Prayer For Wet Socks
Such a nuisance.
Oh, how it soaks deeply!
Those dark, cold waters do travel so strongly.
I fear that once my sock has soaked so, I may nary recover.
Oh, cruel fate and my cursed holed boot, why have you betrayed this poor fool whose only crime was to walk?!
Wretched fool am I indeed to place my naive trust in earthly works of man when the Gods, so twisted in their treatment of mankind, see fit to punish us, so weak, so completely!
A puddle, cold and deep, dark and uncaring, such a vicious, wicked thing, stands silently on this cobbled road lying in wait for a moment in humanity's weakness perchance that a man such as I to step haphazardly in so that it may cling and climb through my woolen fibers and corrupt my gentle flesh!
My gentle being cries out in shock and terror, and my body, on its own volition, recoils as the icy embrace of this cursed infliction does travel so deftly from my sorry, sodden foot up my leg through channels unknown and takes firm roots in my soul so that is may proliferate this cruel corruption and waiver my misplaced faith so that now I see all things holy and good in this world are but a farce, a sadistic joke played by Gods that care not for me!
As the wetness grips me like the sharp clutch of some large, relentless raptor fit on rendering the sweet flesh of a helpless, squirming babe such as I, I curse the Gods and beings that I, we, had once thought so holy, with divine wisdom, that now I see, for this cold, dark ripple has opened my eyes, that they seek to destroy this world, what little good there is left in it...
And treat us so insignificantly as if my soul, so easily manipulated, carries not an ounce of weight with which to purchase any right to be, to exist, to matter in this cosmos, and I hear laughing, their twisted chortling, rattling, mocking deep in my brain, and I turn my eyes inward hoping, though so lowly I may be, that I may see these Gods and look upon their wicked forms!
Oh please, oh please, oh please, I must ask, I must know the answers as why me and why like this have you, you great beings, you powerful Gods and forces above all, beyond all, why have you chosen me, because it is quite clear to see, even with these clouded, mortal eyes, that you know me as nothing but a pathetic useless thing for you to bat at like a cat with a mouse, nay, a cat a mouse does not do proper comparison for thee, you great things, you incredibly powerful things, are far much more than a cat and I am far much less than a mouse and through the misery of this coldness...
this aching dampness, creeping, crawling, chilling, rooting up my pale, lifeless leg, my useless leg and my accursed shoe, this holed boot, you great things, an ancient wisdom, you have revealed a world beyond, a world not meant for others, a world I, only just now, can even slightly strain my mind to comprehend and you wanted me to see, to see the unseen, to feel new sensations the likes of which any other mere man or woman shall ne'er be fit to feel, to touch, to be, and I should thank thee, even though I am more miserable, cold, wet, clammy, and damp than I should have ever thought possible, now this reality means nothing.
I shall fall to my knees a pray to you, if you'll have me, if you'll take me, a pathetic fool of a man, dumb to your world, blind to the true world of thee, whose errant stepping landed his imprudent foot, with boot and sock fully submerged in a puddle, a cold and unforgiving puddle, and the cold waters, placed by thee, of course.
I see, I see, I see, and I know that now, the cold waters, the rushing chill soaking my being, my lowly mortal form, myself not fit to exist in the same reality as thee, my great gods, my glorious, powerful rulers of my soul, my body, my mind, the cosmos and beyond, you've shown me, generously of course, of course, your world, though I admittedly cannot fully comprehend it as feebleminded as I am compared to the brilliant, infinite knowledge of all things past, present, future, dreaming, waking, unconscious, subconscious, superconscious, radiant, powerful all knowingness of all these and more, so much, so much more than I can ever know even with one thousand lifetimes, and you've reached through that puddle, and plucked my soul from the plane, broke the chains on my mind, of this fool's dream, and let me be free to gaze, not with eyes...
These useless eyes, these lying horrid things that should be gouged clean from my skull, yes, clean holes to expose my mind, my brain, that thing which I feel your hands, your reach, your presence on me, and yes, I shall use these wretched hands, these primitive tools of a being that is no more to you than an insect is to I, yet to call myself an insect is to think too highly of myself, for your immense omnipresence far exceeds anything, everything, and the fear, this puddle in which you placed, destined for my foot to fall so squarely into, has become the source of so much fear because now my innocence has gone, my ignorance dissolved away, my infinite dreams and endless, abyssal nightmares made far more real than I could have ever believed possible and it is all thanks to your work with the puddle, whether or not you even care about me, my existence, or anything at all.
Stop Drop Or Go?
Every stop light they approach turns red before they can make it through the intersection.
Who put this curse on my mom, because she hits all reds. And then there's me. Idk if there was a misfire on that curse because as I approach the intersection it turns yellow, and there is like, .5 seconds to make a decision to go through or stop. 80% of the time I get a yellow.
Sorry I'm Not Here Right Now, I'm Walking Into Spiderwebs
Someone asked a similar question yesterday-about harmless haunting. I didn't respond to that, but I offer this:
Unseen spider webs.
I used to hike a lot back when I was younger and nothing drove me crazier than walking into an unseen spider web on the trail. It's not just the annoying fact that you now have spider silk all over and around you, but it's also how ridiculous you look to others when you get tangled up in it. You look like an absolute dipsh!t- arms flailing, spitting stuff out of your mouth, your eyes all squinted shut-it's awful.
But to have this all over your home, or climbing into your car each time you have to go somewhere-this would drive a person completely bonkers, I think.
At least it would me. I'd just go nuts.
Gosh Darn It
Every time they pick up an object, they drop it. The object doesn't break, and they don't drop it again after picking it up, just the initial time.
I figured I'd add that "not breaking" doesn't apply to objects that would definitely break. Just that objects breaking isn't specifically part of the curse. The curse also only applies to inanimate objects.
Every time they drink a liquid it immediately becomes room temperature.
Trying to drink a hot cup of coffee in the morning? BAM! Room temperature. Want to enjoy an ice cold beer on a hot summer day? NOPE! that beer is warm and foamy.
The Ultimate Curse
A curse that does nothing.
They hear a voice say they're cursed, and it doesn't do anything. That way they spend all of their time worrying about what the curse could be until they eventually cause their own problems and blame it on the curse.
We all have strong opinions about something, but when we think of opinions, we often think of hot button topics like political subjects.
But as it turns out, sometimes we can have just as strong of opinions of our preferred types of pasta.
Redditor PeeB4uGoToBed asked:
"What's the best pasta shape and why?"
The Right Answer
"I prefer my pasta, like my nuggets, to be dinosaur-shaped."
"This is my true answer, but if I have to pretend to be an adult, I always say Cavatappi."
"Radiatori. Thick and perfect for pasta sauces."
"They're so fun. They're my favorite, ahead of rotini. I just like ridges, I guess."
"Best for mac and cheese."
"My first time having cavatappi mac and cheese changed my life."
"Cavatappi gang, RISE UP."
"I see your cavatappi and raise you cavatelli."
"Cavatelli is the bee's knees, man."
"The shell shape stores cheese and sauces, so with each bite, you get tons of flavor."
"Yes! Mac n cheese always tastes amazing with Conchiglie, I don't make the rules."
"Rigatoni. My favorite dish is baked rigatoni with bolognese. I love the texture of the ridges and the larger hollow part scoops up the sauce very well as compared to ziti or penne."
"Cascatelli. Some crazy f**k got obsessed with answering the OP's question and invented this."
"Cascatelli is great, but his second round of shapes, specifically vesuvio, might be better."
"Agreed. Vesuvio is peak."
"I prefer quattrotini. I find it has better forkability and toothsinkability."
"Fusilli because it's silly."
"Bucatini is the best of all worlds. You have everything that's great about the long noodles and it's hollow! It absorbs sauce and oil on the inside."
"I hate bucatini! You can't suck a protruding part into your mouth because of the hole in the middle. You can't pick it up with a fork, because it's too slippery with sauce."
"Penne... because the sauce is in AND on it, lol (laughing out loud)."
"The pasta that would literally drive me insane if I tried to make it from scratch."
"I came to say this. Just something about it. Amazing mouth feel. Great texture. Good with light and heavy, meaty sauces."
"This one. There’s something so nostalgic about it for me. And I feel like it does well with most sauces. A very versatile shape for a variety of pasta dishes."
"Linguine: the spaghetti that went to private school."
"I am totally on board with linguine. Flat to catch the sauce and thin enough to cook evenly for the perfect consistency! Pairs with many sauces too!"
"Flat pasta is better than round pasta (like spaghetti) for sauces and flavors being absorbed. It's long enough to give the lady and the tramp vibes and not feel like you're a kid eating some superhero shapes out of a bowl like Fusilli and Farfalle can give off."
"It's thicker than tagliatelle to give it enough girth to feel like more of a main event than just being the bed your sauce and toppings sit on."
"Overall, it's just the best all-rounder in my book."
This conversation just goes to show how many pasta options there actually are in the world, some that we may have not even heard of yet, because of them being invented in 2020!
But it also goes to show that we all have our favorites, and we can have very strong opinions about them.
One of life's most unfortunate moments is when we feel our lives are genuinely in danger.
These horrific moments can involve the behavior of people with malicious intentions or just being at the wrong place and time.
Even though many people live to share their harrowing stories, the trauma doesn't necessarily go away completely.
But all anyone who's experienced a terrifying ordeal can do to find peace is to count their blessings and be grateful they are survivors.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Fearless-surfur-ee asked:
"What was the scariest incident happened with you?"
These Redditors experienced heart-stopping false alarms.
"Half a dozen masked men broke into my bedroom, threatened me and my girlfriend, realised they had the wrong house, apologised and left. Edit - I told the full story here a while back."
Witness At A Shopping Mall
"Similar thing happened to my Aunt. She witnessed an attack at a shopping centre (on going disagreement between 2 well known families) and was threatened. A few days later one of the older family members approached her in her driveway and apologised profusely for the younger persons behaviour and offered her compensation. She was so scared she just said no thanks and he left."
Sometimes, you gotta listen to your gut.
"Wife and I took a dark exit towards out neighborhood. Whole backseat full of bags cause we went shopping at the mall. There’s a red light at the intersection once you get off the exit and we pull up to this tinted oldsmobile. They were in the right lane to go straight or turn right and we were in the left lane to turn left."
"Nobody is around, maybe 10 at night. I turn left and look in my rear view and it’s the car that was next to us a bit back. I pull in my driveway and just had a really weird feeling, so I told my wife I’m gonna reverse and drive around the block. She thinks it’s weird as hell, but as we are reversing, this dude is walking towards us from that Oldsmobile parked around the corner. I dip the f**k out and make it look like I was just turning around and drove like a mile away before heading back."
"Just had this gut feeling, man. Who knows what would have happened? But it was scary as f'k, nonetheless."
A Tragic Stop
"Friend borrowed dad’s Benz to take wife on anniversary date. He stopped for flowers and was followed home by someone thinking he was wealthy. He was shot dead in his driveway in what turned out to be a gang initiation; you did the right thing."
These Redditors looked down the barrel of a gun...and lived to tell their story.
"Was at a train station that was empty and I was sitting down waiting for a train and a man walks over with a bag, opens it and takes out a shotgun and points it at me and I just stare at him, he then says 'you're not scared are you' then puts the shotgun back in the bag then walks out of the train station."
"Actually not sure if that was the scariest or weirdest or if I was even scared."
The Right Answer
"Reminds me of the time a guy put a gun to my neck and said, 'What would you do if I pull the trigger right now.'"
"I was in a completely apathetic state of mind at that time anyway and said, 'Not much I can do, but I'll haunt you.'"
These Redditors experienced medical emergencies.
"Last week had a heart attack after almost recovering from chemotherapy."
"I asked the nurse if I was going to die and she said I’m in the right place and they will look after me. Then I got more scared then I ever have before"
"I should not have survived but I did."
"The scan came back and we found a mass. We'd like you to come in to talk to the doctor today or tomorrow. You should see if someone can drive for you as you may be upset afterwards"
"Can I come in next week, I have a trip planned?"
"The doctor says you should come in today anytime and we will clear an appointment for you."
"Luckily that doctor kicked a**. 3 years post-surgery. Scans are clean in August and I move into the "only 10% chance of reoccurrence" bracket."
"Felt sick, kind of like the flu. Felt completely fine in the morning, but got worse as the day went on. It was the middle of the night and I was up with my husband and our new 6 week old baby. I was pumping breastmilk."
"Next thing I know, I’m waking up to EMTs surrounding me on my bed telling me not to move or sit up. My heart rate was incredibly high and blood pressure incredibly low. They took me to the hospital and no one knew what was wrong with me for a while. They kept asking me what drugs I took. I kept telling them nothing (which is true). I just had a baby, the biggest 'drug' I was taking was Tylenol. They didn’t believe me for a while."
"I couldn’t remember a lot of things at this point. I could barely even remember my own kid’s name. I couldn’t tell them who the president was or what year it was when they asked. It was a weird feeling to have memory missing. Kind of like having lost some puzzle pieces. Talking was also kind of difficult."
"After a BUNCH of tests, turns out I had a UTI so bad that I went into septic shock and my kidneys were shutting down. Didn’t know I had a UTI because I was still healing from childbirth and I am pretty asymptomatic when it comes to UTIs. I don’t feel pain when I get them. Spent a few days in the ICCU. Was extra scary considering my brand new baby was at home and I wasn’t and there was a chance I wouldn’t make it home at all."
"In the end, I thankfully made a full recovery."
"Not as intense as some of these other stories, but please don’t sleep on a UTI guys. Sepsis is no joke."
The last time I truly feared for my life was when I was at a party and a fight between two drunk partygoers turned into a Swiss army knife fight.
I'm not kidding.
A couple of my friends and I jumped off the second floor balcony and got chased in the parking lot.
After some fumbling with the car keys, my buddy managed to get five of us crammed into his car and the perpetrator started pounding on the rear window with his fists and bloodying it up from smashing his knuckles onto the glass.
The police came just in time. Thank you annoyed neighbor who called the cops on us for our blood-curdling screams disturbing the peace.
Perhaps the best thing about our friends is that we can always rely on them.
To help us out, to give us words of comfort and wisdom when we need them, or to just be a willing pair of ears.
Even so, our friends still have a way of surprising us, as well as disappointing us from time to time.
Sometimes they'll do things that just make us groan and roll our eyes but are easily forgiven over time.
Other times, however, they might do or say something which can only be described as "f*cked up."
Potentially putting an effective end to your friendship.
"What is the most f**ked up thing you've seen a friend do?"
Those Poor Cats...
"A guy I worked with was about to take his wife on a trip back to their mutual hometown in another state."
"They had a pair of delightful kittens and they asked me if I would watch them while they were gone."
"I had little experience with cats but these 2 were just wonderfully playful."
"I gave him a call when he got back to arrange returning the kittens but he said they had picked up a non-cat friendly dog on the journey and he would just drop off the kittens in the woods."
"Needless to say, I kept them and they were wonderful furry friends for me and eventually to my wife and kids."
"I still think what would have happened to them if I had not been in the right place at the right time."- PoloGrounder
"I went on holiday for a week and asked my 'best friend' to pop in and feed my cat (he lived a few doors away)."
"When I got back, my cat was laying by the back door of my house, went inside and his bowl was empty, I called him and asked when the last time he fed him, he said 'oh yeah, I forgot'."
"My cat had been outside for a week with no food or water. "
"I haven't spoken to him in 12 years."- Reddit
Always Listen To Your Doctor
"Convinced his girlfriend she was suffering from gluten intolerance instead of schizophrenia, and got her to stop taking medication."- lightningandmadness
But Was It A Point Worth Proving?
"Deliberately get knocked down by a car, in order to prove that when drunk (and we were very drunk), his bones were flexible."
"Fortunately, the car had been slowing to turn."
"There followed a couple of minutes trying to reassure the driver he was ok, whilst calling him an idiot."
"Meanwhile, he was laying flat on his back, maintaining he'd proved his point."- anothercynicaloldgit
It Is Never Attractive To Gloat
"Best friend was excited for me to meet his new gf."
"The whole evening he bragged about how she was still married and he was going to be the reason she got divorced."
"Haven't spoken to him since."
"Did hear she broke up with him and sorted out the issues with her husband."- hmfiddlesworth
Karma Is Pretty Unforgiving...
"Brought my friend to watch my boyfriend practice his drumming."
"She kept spreading her legs wide wearing a skirt with no underwear."
"She slept with him and he left me thinking he would be with her."
"Needless to say she didn’t date him because she already had a boyfriend."- Final_Objective_6204Kar
"We were working in an old lady's attic and he kicked the sh*t out of a pipe on purpose then went and told her it needed to be replaced."
"I never worked with him again after that."- FriendlyDifference72
"Brag about a then—boyfriend not leaving her despite constant cheating."
"Then cry when he left her."
"I don’t know either."- Snapesnape716
In With The Wrong Crowd
"They were arguing and he made fun of the friend for being an orphan."
"Tried to stab the other friend cuz his ex was crushing on him."- we_are_ghetto
Not Worth A Second Thought
"Throw McDonald’s fries and burger as hard as he could at a homeless lady asking for food."
"I called him a piece of sh*t and never spoke to him again."- Mundane_Tour_3215
You Don't Mess With Family...
"My best friend had just broken up with my brother—who had moved over a thousand miles and changed jobs to be with her—citing personal differences."
"My brother was devastated, but I tried to respect her decision and be a source of support for both of them, especially because they truly weren’t the best fit."
"But then she shared with me, because she knew that I loved her and would be happy for her so long as she was happy, that she’d been cheating on my brother for the past month and had found her soulmate."
"The depth of my brother’s heartbreak, already immense, was further compounded by the infidelity."
"To my bewilderment, she truly couldn’t understand why I was ending the friendship, seemed so distraught that I would end a years long relationship over something so 'small'."
"And I still can’t comprehend why she thought telling me would result in anything other than a complete door slam."
"Hannah, you still suck."
"And I’m still angry."
"I had also asked her to be the maid of 'honor' in my upcoming wedding."
Some friendships can withstand fundamental differences of opinion.
But no friendship is worth hanging onto when people (and kittens) are physically or emotionally harmed.
When you gotta go, you go.
That should be a mantra for getting rid of the toxic people in our lives.
Not every relationship is meant to last forever.
Some people don't know how to be friends.
They are awfully good at pretending though.
Be vigilant of the signs and red flags.
Toxic people are crafty.
And once you're free, never look back.
Redditor _ReDd1T_UsEr wanted to discuss the reasons why many of us decided to cut some people out of our lives, so they asked:
"What was the reason why your friendship ended with someone?"
Sometimes a person just has to go.
Planning StagesWeekend Sunday GIF by DisneyGiphy
"I stopped being the first to always initiate plans, and that was that."
"I once asked a friend to plan our next breakfast + walk outing, since I always did that. He wrote me a letter ending the friendship. Stunning!"
Pants on Fire
"Habitual lying became too annoying and disruptive to tolerate."
"When you constantly are thinking... this math ain't matching lol. People that lie all the time make me sick. I've told multiple friends that you don't have to lie to me."
"I feel so much better when someone can trust me and feel comfortable telling me a hard truth than an easy lie."
"Even if the truth made me feel some type of way, I'm still glad it was honest. I've even said thank you to people in the past that have been honest with me, good or bad! Some people just can not help lying about things. I wouldn't be able to ever keep a story straight if I did that."
"He kept having kids with different girls and bailing on them. Coming from a 'went out for a pack of smokes' Dad myself, I just couldn't watch it anymore. Bailed after the third one. Think he's up to 6 now."
"Reminds me of one of my ex-friends. She kept having kids with MULTIPLE guys (all of them were one-night stands), I don't think she even knows who the baby daddies are."
"She also kept begging me and people for money for pot, and she also bragged about having OnlyFans. She'd also make up stories about being in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend (she'd also cheat on him/tell people her and him they broke up, which they weren't)."
"I was a bad person and they ended it for perfectly sensible reasons. I would have done the same. I've changed, but I don't blame them for not reconsidering contact."
"I’ve been there. I was a bad person and lost friendships and family relationships. I tried to apologize to everyone I hurt."
"I also accepted that they don’t want me in their lives anymore. I learned that I made my mistakes, I learned from them, and I accept their choices. I don’t self-hate anymore and I try to be a better person in general. I hope you are doing well and practicing self-love and forgiveness."
Money IssuesDonald Duck Money GIFGiphy
"I lent them $20 and then they avoided me so they didn’t have to pay me back. Worth the $20."
"I don't ever expect prompt returns of small amounts of money between my friends... we all buy each other rounds or buy the food for the BBQ or whatever. It ends up evening out over time I think we'd notice though if someone was always taking and never giving and then they'd probably get cut off too."
In the immortal words of Cyndi Lauper... "Money Changes Everything."
Lack of SupportHappy Planning GIFGiphy
"She joined a pyramid scheme selling butt-ugly leggings and it took over her whole life. When I finally told her it was negatively affecting our friendship, she accused me of not supporting her 'business.'"
"I was basically a taxi for my friends so I dumped them all."
"This one I can understand but depends on the situation. Not all of my friends had cars in high school, so our group needed to have me and my sh*tty '94 Plymouth Sundance come, or they couldn't do anything. I didn't mind at all then, but I definitely would these days."
"I remember I used to drive around with my buddies all the time before they had licenses. When one of my friends got his and a car I said sweet now you can drive me around for a bit, he replied that he wasn't gonna waste his money on gas like that. See ya, haven't really spoken to him since."
"How's this for oddly specific: Friend since 1980, was hanging out at a bar in 1992 and there was a dispute of over a $15.00 bar tab. I was in the right, but whatever - he held a grudge for years."
"Ran into him in 2017 and we were both too old to care. Started to see each other now and then. 2023 and we're at this local bar for a show and got into a fight about $15.00 a ticket."
"Maybe he'll call me in 2063."
"She was a taker, constantly. When I needed something she made it about her yet again. Exhausting to be around."
"I'm going through this right now. Can't tell you how many texts I have from her in the past few days telling me that I need to get over myself, need to stop making myself the victim, have been a terrible friend, have never been there for her."
"She's the most narcissistic person I know and everyone does everything for her. She has one of the easiest lives ever and anytime anything bad happens to her she believes that everyone is against her and she's the victim here. It's pure insanity. There is no talking sense to people like this."
Life Changespoint pointing GIF by Shalita GrantGiphy
"I've lost like all but two of my 'friends' because I stopped drinking and doing hard drugs."
"Same here dude. My circle is small but hey at least it's a circle I know I can go to."
Oh, how things change when the booze dries up.
How much fun were you really having?
Do you have any stories about cutting off a friend? Let us know in the comments below.