People Break Down The Dumbest Way They've Ever Gotten Laid
Getting lucky is getting lucky.....
Let's talk about sex baby. No, seriously.... lets. Now it is meant to be shared between those who love one another BUT.... every now and again, we do share these moments with people that are... "of the moment." And the of the moment peeps can often leave a lasting impression.
Redditor u/meme-ark-boi wanted to discuss the birds and the bees.... so who is willing to chat? Here is a question....
What is the dumbest way you got laid?
Then we had sex.Giphy
Left the oven on from dinner before going on a date to see a film. Paranoid about the house burning down while at the cinema on a date. Whisper to her about these concerns so we leave. We get home and I rush in and turn off the oven, date says "wait, you actually left it on!?" Then we had sex. troubleshot
I'd even burnt the tarts.
Made a friend some jam tarts, which impressed her housemate enough to pursue me. I'm not much of a looker, and she was incredible. Don't know why it all happened, I'd even burnt the tarts. theomens
Definitely the least amount of effort.....
Woke up to a commotion outside my room the morning after a night out. It was my flatmate with some girl he'd brought home (he was out separately) and her friend just chatting. I got up all groggy, went to the bathroom and when I came back this girl's friend just followed me back into bed and that was that.
Later I found out that she assumed she had come back with me originally, but just woke up on the sofa for some reason. I guess she just decided to resume from where she thought we had been! Definitely the least amount of effort I've ever had to put into getting laid. sensors
cards against humanity......
Was a virgin at the time. Had some people over playing cards against humanity.
It's not a serious game even when you're playing it, so sometimes we would show people the card we drew as a replacement if it was like, perfect for the hand we had just played. I don't remember what the black card we were playing to was anymore, but I drew the "friends with benefits" white card and it would have been perfect for it, so I leaned over and showed my friend sitting next to me. Later everyone left and she stayed behind and we were talking and she assumed I meant it as a request. I hadn't even thought of that but rolled with it. Embowaf
I was taking care of a professor's kitten (Mr. Milk), and another student was as well. There was a schedule. Somehow we got crossed up and ended up there at the same time, and a night later we were banging. hold_my_lacroix
by my belt buckle....
Met this girl once and about three months later I saw her again and she got really excited to see me. We were talking for a little bit and out of nowhere bet me that I didn't remember her name. Well I did and she was instantly turned on by that. Basically dragged me to her house by my belt buckle. mandovera21
We pretty much looked alike....
My best friend and I were having a going away party as we were moving out of state. We pretty much looked alike, both tall with long shoulder-length hair. One of our mutual friends arranged for him to get laid as a going away gift. All the girl knew about him was he's tall with long hair. Long story short, he cut his hair the day before the party and I ended up getting laid. SithLordShrades
Took a bet in a pub in Toronto.....
Took a bet in a pub in Toronto, went to a girl and whispered to her ear "I can speak french between your legs", was ready and waiting for the physical comeback to hit my face. Instead she spilled all of her drink through her nose and we ended up at her place. meuh210
Wash the dishes...
Was waiting for my female friend to finish a phone conversation, and got bored enough to wash the small mountain of dishes in her sink. Never forget the look on her face. FWB for a few ecstatic weeks after that before we realized I was falling for her. Ended it. We would NEVER have worked out as a couple, but wow - best sexperiences ever.
So yeah. Wash dem dishes. Filmtoken
Apparently that was enough.Giphy
Had a chick literally follow me home. I was on rollerblades so I was nice and waited at every corner for her. Apparently that was enough. zwierls
People Confess Why They Think Waiting Until Marriage To Have Sex Is A Good Or Bad Idea
Why is sex such a dramatic aspect of life?
It carries such weight in our lives.
For some, there's a big debate about waiting for marriage.
Other want to know if they're compatible (both emotionally and sexually) before tying the knot.
Whether it's for religious or other reasons, this topic can put a strain on many adult relationships.
First and foremost, we do know we have to do what's best for us.
Redditor EveningAd3633 wanted to hear about all the reasons to abstain or let loose, so they asked:
"Do you think that waiting until you are married for sex is a good idea? Why or why not?"
Redditors from around the globe wanted to share their experiences.
"I know a couple who are waiting until marriage. They both agree on it and are fine with it. But they have ridiculously over the top tickle fights. - _- It makes me so uncomfortable to witness. I'd almost rather see them bang in front of me. It's band camp levels of tension that just won't ever go away."
Do we Fit?
"No. We waited and we were not compatible… eventually, he cheated and we got divorced. Also, being compatible sexually is not a reason to get married either."
"I don’t understand how people don’t get this. It’s the same as any other aspect of marriage—if you aren’t compatible, you shouldn’t get married. It would be like dating someone, and the entire time you’re both blindfolded."
"Then after you’re married you can FINALLY take your blindfold off only to find out your partner looks like someone set their face on fire and put it out with a pick axe. Every aspect of compatibility is important in a marriage."
"Yes, you both change and evolve but if you’re not both 100% committed to weathering these changes and adapting as a couple, then your marriage will probably not be a happy one!"
"Personally, I think it's good to wait a while before having sex with someone to actually know them, but I wouldn't wait to be married... I think you should know the person that you are marrying on all aspect."
"WELL SAID - and just to take on so many of the other opinions on this thread, it is NOT a good idea to wait until after marriage. It’s not 'fine if you want' it’s actively a terrible idea IF you care about having a sex life. Hoping it will work out through sheer luck? Idiotic."
"No. Not saying you should f**k everyone that propositions you but you should make sure you are compatible with someone before marrying them. Too many people find out too late they can't stand someone's actual personality. Things change after sex, people calm down and get real, they stop being on their best behavior. Get to know the real person before you marry an intolerable a**hole."
Stay CalmRelaxing Chill Out GIF by Talk StoopGiphy
"If you want to wait, go for it. But don’t set yourself up for waiting until marriage, and then rush the marriage part just to get to the sex."
"Kid I work with is 24. Just got married. Did the deed. Now has a kid on the way. All within 3-4 months of meeting his wife at church. Great kid. But you can see it in his face already. The guy is STRESSED."
Roulettetv land casino GIF by Lopez on TV LandGiphy
"Paraphrasing Lewis Black: If you wait until marriage to have sex, then you are a gambler on a level I can't even freaking imagine."
"I would say it’s not about waiting until you are married but waiting until it is right for both of you. That’s the key point that a lot of people get wrong. They get to it for reasons other than it being right or feeling right."
"So if your belief is that you should have committed to a marriage, then that is what is going to feel right for you. It could also be that within hours (or even minutes) you can feel that it is right for you. Don’t judge the duration, judge the feeling that you have."
Cause and Effect
"I’ve heard horror stories of marriages being destroyed because it wasn’t until after wedlock that they discovered their sex drives were entirely different. It causes depression, it causes divorce, and in some extreme cases, it pushes people to cheat. I just don’t think it’s worth it to wait when it could potentially make or break a relationship."
He was right...
"My step dad always told me, 'You might like the pair of jeans you have, but there's always a chance you'll find a pair that fits you better.' He was right. There was no shame in having sex before marriage, and he also taught me that as a female, it is perfectly OK to buy and have the condoms. It's also ok to reject a guy if he doesn't want to be safe. Your body is worth more than his sexual pleasure."
More than talk...Heart GIF by BuzzFeedGiphy
"No. Unless you're both asexual, sexual compatibility is an important part of a relationship, and that's not something you can determine just through conversation."
"Sexual compatibility is important for asexual people too, as in having a similar lack of interest in it."
Thanks to these Redditors for opening up and sharing on such an important topic.
Some really valid points were made about communication, expectation, and compatibility.
Do you have any thoughts to share? Let us know in the comments below.
We've all known someone who tends to say mean things or generally be kind of a jerk.
And whether we want to admit to it or not, it can be fun to see that jerk taken down a few notches with a solid insult.
Ready for roasting, Redditor depressed_jellybear asked:
"What's the best insult you've ever heard?"
Not Your Mom
"When I was in high school, one of my classmates gave our teacher a typical 'your mom' response to a question without realizing the teacher’s mother had just died."
"Without missing a beat, the teacher said, 'Leave my mother out of this. I don’t make fun of your parents, and look what they produced.”
Adoption Jokes Not Welcome
"I was playing 'Pavlov' (a virtual reality game) with a group of people, one of which was this very annoying kid who kept saying something like, 'You're bad because you're adopted,' and stuff like that."
"He did that to one dude, and the guy replies something like, 'I'd return the insult, but that'd imply someone wanted you.'"
"Had the whole lobby erupting. I don't know if it's taken from somewhere or what."
Underestimated by the Teacher
"Teacher of mine once said to a classmate who kept making the most asinine contributions to the conversation:"
"'You make it really difficult to underestimate you.'"
"The guy had no idea what it meant, he thought it was a compliment."
"16-year-old me trying to convince my dad to take my friends and I to see 'American Pie':"
"Dad: So what is it about?"
"Me: A group of high school friends trying to lose their virginity."
"Dad: I can stay home and see that."
Based on Real Life
"I once asked my cousin if he watched the tv show 'Desperate Housewives,' and he said, 'No, I’m married to one."
The Joke Will Go On
"I remember when 'Titanic' came out. My grandma, my mom, and I were getting ready to see it."
"My grandpa said, 'Don’t know what the fuss is about. I can tell you what happens, the boat sinks. The end.'"
"Lol (laughing out loud). Maybe it was his delivery, but it cracked me up."
"The best one I've heard was, ''I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you.'"
Seems Pretty Complicated
"I overheard someone tell someone else, They’d need a recipe for making ice cubes."
An Insult for an Insult
“You’re not the dumbest person I’ve ever met, but you better hope he doesn’t die.”
"And I have the best response for that: 'Well then, I will pray for your health.'"
New Take on the Clown Car
"I saw a bunch of quite pretentious people getting out of a limo at a club and pretending they’re more than they are to get in ahead of the line."
"The bouncer quipped, 'I can always tell clowns, all arriving in the same car.'"
Signs of Aging
"Some bouncers are brilliantly witty, I assume it comes with working in a job where you have to deal with drunk a**holes all the time."
"A few years ago, I got IDed to enter a bar. I'd recently started buzzing my hair due to hair loss, yet my photo driving license had me with a thick full head of hair from several years before."
"The bouncer looked at the card, then me, and then said, 'Haven't you forgotten something?'"
"I was confused. He then showed his colleague, who nodded and said, 'Yeah mate, you've definitely forgotten something.'"
"Then he pointed to his head."
Good Luck Getting a Job
"You've got a face for radio, and a voice for writing."
"From 'Golden Girls':"
"Blanche: Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go take a long, hot, steamy bath, with just enough water to barely cover my perky bosoms."
"Sofia: You're only gonna sit in an inch of water?"
"Context aside, someone once told me I look like I go to the park to punch birds."
While it can feel terrible to need to be around negative people sometimes, there's hope knowing that there are some things we can say that are funny and that will relatively put them in their place.
Now if only some of us could think of the comeback at the moment when it's useful...
Teachers Reveal Their Craziest 'This Student's Gonna Be A Serial Killer One Day' Experiences
We've all known someone who genuinely creeped us out, whether we could pinpoint exactly why or not.
But teachers see a lot of weird and creepy things after serving classroom after classroom of students, sometimes they will meet a student who gives them big serial killer vibes.
Redditor Advanced_Bad4443 asked:
"Teachers of Reddit, what was the moment you realized, 'This kid is gonna be a serial killer one day'?"
"I was in my office one day when a kid I’d never met before strolled in. Very quickly I recognized by his behavior that he was a BD (behavioral deficit) student who somehow got out of his class."
"He started a conversation with me asking who I was and what I did. I could tell he was trying very hard to get under my skin as he emptied a box of tissues one by one. So I didn’t react."
"He then kicked over a number of trash cans, but I didn’t react. He went into my office bathroom while talking to me with the door open (not to use it), and started messing with the supplies in there."
" I walked over so I could get a clear view, and he then tried to pull the sink off the wall while telling me that he has compulsion issues and has a really hard time not doing the things he thinks about but knows are wrong."
"He said last year he was expelled from his school because he threw his desk at another student. He told me sometimes he imagines what it would be like to brutalize and murder someone."
"Eventually, he tired and realized the sink wasn’t coming down. I kept talking to him and asked if he would like to help me clean up the mess on the floor or if he wanted to go back to class. He helped me clean and then I took him for a walk back to his class."
"That kid took a lot of work over four years by a lot of people, therapy and medication included. He eventually learned impulse control and learned the differences between craving negative and positive attention from people. He left BD and got to be in general classes, became an athlete, got some real friends, and graduated."
"I honestly cried when I saw him get his diploma. I hope he stays healthy."
Not Going Places
"A nine-year-old chasing an eight-year-old with a brick in each hand trying the smash the other kid's skull in. When I stopped him, he was screaming something about how he was going to kill the other kid..."
"He's probably 13 now and I suspect in jail or killing animals for fun."
"Preschool teacher for a very wealthy community. I have a three-year-old who is physically violent. The first day I had him in my class he attacked me."
"I tend to get down on the floor and play with the kids. Seeing an opportunity he latched on to my ear and tore little bits of flesh with his tiny fingernails. I bled."
"I tried talking to his Mom. She said, 'Yeah, he gets rowdy...'"
"Just this past week I had him in my room again. He delighted in making another boy cry. Refused to participate in our activities. Only wanting to throw toys directly at my face."
"Once I did convince him to participate, he clung to me. It was bizarre and honestly made me very sad."
"I talked to some other teachers who've known them longer. Apparently, Mom and Dad are serious alcoholics. He is an only child and desperate for attention."
"They all know about his outbursts and violent tendencies, but there's really nothing anyone can do because he is three."
"I'm just going to try my best with him. Maybe a positive influence and some consistency will give this little guy some reassurance.
I know that there are people who are mentally ill and born with issues beyond their control, but I think this kid just has s**t parents. Wish me luck, friends!"
"I have an eight-year-old student in my class this year. All his time at school he has been a troublesome kid, hurting other kids without being provoked, having unpredictable mood changes, and he's really hard to read. Lots of teacher colleagues say he looks dead in the eyes, with no expressions of joy or any other emotions."
"The moment that really shocked me, was when another student had found a fly in the playground. The fly was hurt and couldn't fly anymore. So this student gave it a name (Henkie) and started to care for it, very sweet."
"Lots of classmates joined in taking care of the fly and helping it (making a house out of leaves, etc). I gave the kids some magnifying glasses so they could take a nice look and encouraged the kids' curiosity and gentleness."
"This kid also came over to 'take a look' and was told to be careful, because Henkie was the other students' friend. He looked for 2 secs, grinned, and stomped on it."
"The worst part is that Henkie didn't even die (or at least it was still twitching). So the other student kept on trying to nurse his little buddy back to health. He even took it inside to read it a story. My heart just broke by the love this student was showing for this little creature, but the kid didn't seem to care at all about what he did."
"This was a couple of months ago, and he still even kind of brags about when he (almost) killed Henkie. This kid just gives me the chills."
Just a Matter of Time
"I'd like to say there wasn't one defining instance but more of a long list of them that when everything was over and I had time to relax and process everything did I come to the realization that in 20, maybe 10, years time, I'd see this little boy as a teen or a man on the news for murder."
"I had this one student, let's call him Timmy (age 4 at the time). Timmy was prone to extremely violent outbursts for little to no reason at all and they were so unpredictable that I had to set up a Timmy evacuation protocol with my other students incase I felt their lives were in danger. These are some of the times I had to use this protocol."
"Before Timmy was banned in my room from using pencils and safety scissors, he went on a rampage with a pencil. He was trying to stab another classmate because I helped her with her writing before him."
"He was doing his writing just fine, and seconds before that, I had told him, 'Great job, Timmy, I love how you are keeping your letters on the lines.' He didn't need help, and he never once asked for it."
"Thankfully, the little girl was not hurt as I was right there and was able to throw my hand in front of her face where he was aiming. However, he did get me and the pencil lead was left in my hand."
"Timmy attempted to choke another child because that child was using a red crayon, so instead of getting an identical red crayon from the bucket in front of him he tackled that child out of his chair and put his hands on his neck while screaming like a banshee."
"About a week after the choking incident, he was upset because he wanted to be the only one in class, so he pushed a shelf that I, as a grown adult, have trouble moving over in an attempt to in his words 'squish' his classmates who were working on the carpet. (Thankfully, I was able to hold it up while they ran.)"
"He proceeded to destroy my entire room, to the point where I decided to just move classrooms for the day as it would have been impossible to clean it up and frankly I didn't want my already traumatized students to come in and witness it."
"Every single day, this child would have a violent meltdown. Some were more contained to himself, a small area, or me personally."
"My wife thinks her best friend’s son is going to grow up to be a serial killer, and, while I think she tends to overstate things, it’s hard to deny that there is cause for concern."
"I’ve gotten creepy vibes from this kid since he was a toddler, less than a year old."
"He’s probably six or so now but was kicked out of most of the preschools in their area for being violent towards other kids. At one point a couple of years ago, he got very fascinated by death, squishing bugs to see what would happen and talking about stabbing himself."
"The mom (my wife’s friend) is concerned and has taken him to doctors to try and discuss, but hasn’t gotten much in the way of help. But I don’t think they’ve pursued strongly much in the way of psychiatric/psychological specialists."
"The dad (who has become VERY right wing) seems to not be overly concerned, and his solution seems to be either Catholic or Military School when the kid gets older. Which to me sounds like it would do more harm than good."
Flip of a Switch
"She was a little angel student when my boss was in the room, but the second the door closed, she tilted her head, stared at me, and said, 'I want to hurt you.' Her eyes were absolutely lifeless. She was eight."
"She was also very frequently violent to me and other students/teachers."
No One Home
"This is chilling to recall. I’m also a teacher, and while nothing violent happened with this kid, I also looked into a kid’s eyes one time and saw absolutely nothing. It was like there was no soul in there."
"He was a run-of-the-mill disrespectful child, with a reputation for being a troublemaker, but I never actually had an incident with him. However, I have never forgotten the day I made eye contact with him, and the coldness and emptiness in his eyes scared me so bad. I have never felt so creeped out."
"Not a teacher but used to have a friend that had a cousin in the same school and this cousin had an almost disconnected link to other people."
"The first time I was introduced to him he started the conversation with, 'If I kill someone, I'll get away with it because they say my head's different.'"
" This was during high school where everyone is finding themselves so I just thought he was trying to be a tough guy. Just nodded my head and stepped back."
"He was the type that if people were play fighting or wrestling he'd invite himself and make it a real fight. Once getting me in a wrestling move called the 'Boston crab' and just kept adding more pressure as I was screaming for help and clawing at the floor, genuinely thinking my back was going to break."
"No remorse or thought he was taking it too far, only stopped when several people were yelling at him to let me go."
"The look on his face as I was getting away, like he was disappointed he had to stop haunted me for years. Stayed as far away from him as possible after that."
"Last I heard he's admitted now due to refusal to take medication and constant violent outbursts."
Hopefully All Talk
"I’ve taught PreK (four and five-year-olds) for years. Only one kid has ever really scared me and I wish I knew what happened to him, he’d be high school age by now."
"He used to talk about hurting animals a LOT, we had several conferences with his family but they swore he never did that at home and never hurt an animal despite so many times of him talking about it at school."
"He had zero affect most of the time, no smiling or laughing. He would be sneaky about hurting other kids, pinching or things like that, and have no remorse when he did something wrong and wouldn’t deny it either. Completely dead behind the eyes."
"I’ve never had another kid like that, even the violent ones who have hurt me or destroyed my room have had emotion and remorse at some point. Not him."
"There was a kid in my elementary school who used to abuse small animals. In high school, he got super obsessed with serial killers and was caught trying to make poison brownies and give them to kids at our school."
"I was one of those kids (as were two of my classmates in one class), but we didn’t eat the stuff he offered us."
It Starts at Home
"He wrapped both his hands around her throat unprovoked, he laughed about it, and his mom defended his behavior. He was eight years old."
'"I think about hurting people all the time. I dream about it every night,' was said by the sweetest, most polite girl in one of my ninth-grade classes."
"I turned that over to the counselors immediately. Hope she got the help she needed but knowing the public school system my guess is they didn't even address it."
No One Listening
"Kid in fifth grade (11 years old) very intelligent and in gifted classes. He would torment the other gifted kids. The only time I ever saw his creepy, dead-eye, jack-o-lantern smile was when he made another kid cry."
"He would do things like finish a book over the weekend that the other kid was reading just so he could come in and spoil the ending. He researched some country that this kid's grandparents came from and called him a nazi (it wasn’t Germany - can’t remember)."
"The other kids' parents did the nice kid thing: just ignore him. And god love them, these kids tried."
"He would chase them on the playground just to say creepy s**t. Anyway, I came in 1/2 way through the year. I called a meeting with the parents and school social worker. They said the other kids bullied him!"
"I kept a bunch of papers that he wrote about blowing up the school, blowing up the White House, and making way for a new species of human. He is definitely going to kill prostitutes or hide bombs somewhere."
"After he went to middle school there were a bunch of bomb threats. I notified the principal about his behaviors and sent copies of the papers he wrote. Awkwardly, his father worked at the middle school. Anyway, the threats stopped soon after that."
"He would have graduated by now and I have no idea where he is. But when he kills people, I’m going to the news with all my documentation and show that I tried to get this sick little s**t some help and no one cared. What else can you do?"
"Not a teacher but the meanest, most malicious, vindictive, manipulative child I ever knew growing up did not become a serial killer. Nope. She became an 'influencer.'"
"I’m kind of scared of what she’ll become when she’s no longer relevant as an influencer, or when her looks fade and fail to bring her the attention she craves."
These stories are absolutely chilling, and it's no wonder that there were concerns about who these people would grow up to be, or what they would do when they came of age. Hopefully at least some of them received the care they needed, so they could turn their lives around for the better.
Pet Owners Who've Had Wild Animals Get Into Their Homes Share Their Experiences
Dog and cat owners are constantly amused by their quirky four-legged besties.
And while we are as captivated as dogs chasing their tails and cats determinedly chasing after that evasive laser point, pet owners can witness quite a show when an uninvited animal enters the domestic environment.
So what happens in those unusual circumstances?
Lucky for us, we don't have to wonder, thanks to a subReddit that addressed the very subject confirming we are merely spectators really living in the animal kingdom.
Plenty of interesting anecdotes filled the thread when Redditor 99_Restaurant asked:
"People whose homes have dog/cat doors, have wild animals ever entered your pet doors and what happened when that occurred?"
Things went bananas with these intruders.
"Not quite a pet door situation but we lived close to the national park in Nairobi. On several occasions monkeys would come into the house through the windows."
"They'd raid the pantry and make a mess of it. Once my husband was home alone. He heard a noise downstairs and as he went to investigate met a monkey coming back upstairs. They both froze, then he backed up back into the bedroom and the monkey made its way back out through our child's bedroom window."
"It was quite a hoot."
Knock, Knock–Who's There?
"Also not OP but some years ago I stayed in a wildlife area in Ghana. The lodge warned us not to open the door without checking the peephole first because the baboons had learned to knock on doors and if you opened they would rush inside and tear apart the room looking for food! They really did knock too! If not for the warning I might have opened the door. Pretty freaky."
You'd think woodland creatures were cute.
What The Cat Missed
"I lived in an apartment that backed up to an open field for a while and had a real raccoon issue. Once they figured out that the cat door was occasionally open after I left it open one night when was out late, they would show up in a gang of 5-7 every night and bang in the slider and try it get in."
"The apartment was a studio with a slightly lofted bedroom and one evening was sitting on the couch working and saw what thought was my cat wander down into the living room and hop up on to the couch next to me. I reached out to give her a scratch and noticed in my periphery that her body language was off. That was when I turned to look at her and realized it was a raccoon. I screamed and lept off the couch. The raccoon made a quick exit back out the cat door. My cat slept through the whole exchange."
A Staring Contest
"A squirrel came in through my parents cat flap (they don't have a cat but didn't replace the door when they bought the house). I remember walking into the kitchen and having a staring match with this squirrel until he decided he'd had enough and left the way he'd come in. Not very exciting but still."
No Exit Strategy
"Squirrels can be pure madness sometimes, so it might very well have been."
"We had a squirrel get in through a hole in the screen door once. She couldn't figure out how to get back out so she ping ponged around the room for a bit, knocking over a bunch of stuff."
The Cat's Guests
"Kind of similar, I guess…"
"I once walked into the kitchen and noticed that our horse had gotten inside. He had opened a cupboard in the mud room and was happily munching away on some chaff we had stored there. The pull down handle to the back door was covered in horse slobber, as was the cubboard door handle. Cheeky bugger."
"Also, one of our cats has brought in the odd snake. They are very much alive when she deposits them inside the house. Luckily, she usually chooses to leave them in the bath for some reason."
"I live in the countryside in the UK, and I’ve got a load of marshes behind my house, so we get all sorts, bugs, birds, small mammals (foxes, hedgehogs, etc) and amphibians. One day, my cat was meowing at me, and she led me behind the sofa, and she had brought in a whole adult rabbit that was frozen solid. I was shocked because she had to have brought it over several walls 7 feet high, and through the cat flap, and the rabbit was more than half the size of her. The most concerning thing, however, is that I thought it was a duck until my sister came down and saw it and pointed out it was a rabbit. It was because it was so frozen solid and the ears were covered in ice and stuck together, so it looked like a ducks beak. Yeah idk how I thought it was a duck at first."
"A fox pissed on my couch."
Winged creatures need shelter too. They just don't understand boundaries unless they're the ones that are spooked.
"Came down one morning to find a peacock in the utility room that had got in to eat all the cat food. It stayed on our property for about three years and we called it Wazzock."
"One morning, there was a noise at my door. I opened it and there was a peacock standing on my stoop like the UPS guy. He squawked and flew into a tree."
“At God is my witness, I thought peacocks couldn’t fly.”
"Similar. After our cat brought in live mice, small birds, a giant moth and a couple of slow worms, we nixed the cat flap. We do keep the patio door open during summer."
"We have a seagull (European herring gull) that has been cruising in our negbourhood for about ten years now. He knows where the cat food is, so each summer he just wanders in and has a nice serving. Greedy b@stard."
"There was also the one late summer evening when the door was open, and I suddenly heard crunching sounds. I walked over to investigate, and a badger was just sitting there, munching on some bug or other about ten feet from the open door."
These wild anecdotes sure will make you reconsider getting a cat flap.
From an animal's perspective, the tiny-sized openings of a human home are basically house-warming invitations.
Have you experienced any wild intrusions?
And are you one to welcome such visitors, or are you prone to standing on top of your kitchen chair for safety?