Children are a handful. You have to birth them, pay for them and then take care of them for decades. So one would think that would be grounds for some positive treatment. But kids can be cruel.
Whether they didn't mean it or not, children can cause a hit to their parents emotional psyche.
Redditor beardlesshipster reached out to the parents of Reddit asking... Parents of Reddit, what's something your kids do without realizing it hurts your feelings? Grab a drink moms and dads, you're not alone.
Sorry Pop!
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Four year old - "Daddy, I love you."
Me - "Thanks bug, I love you too."
Four year old - "Daddy, I love mommy more though."
Daddying for life...
I have a daughter, 12. We've always been pretty close, and in most ways we still are. We've always done everything together... but, she's at the age now where friends, etc. are becoming more important. I'll bring up something we can do, like watching a movie that I think she'll like. Five minutes in, she'll get a message from a friend, light up, and just disappear for the rest of the movie.
Now, I get it. I'm sure I was like that too. I'm not gonna freak out about it or anything... but I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt my feelings a little now and then.
Dads just want to keep daddying.
Do you hear you?
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I'm speaking from the kids side, but sharing it because I was devastated the other day to hear my moms side...
When I was young, my brothers and I would tease my mom's singing voice every time we sang together (church, scouting events, whatevs). From our side of things, it truly was done very lightheartedly. I loved singing with my mom, her crooked voice was part of that love.
A few days ago, I was driving with her. She's in her 70s. A great song came on the radio that I know she loves and I started to sing along, asking her to join me. She did a little, but soon stopped. I asked her why she wouldn't sing with me.
"Because I have a funny voice."
Know where you stand!
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When my daughter was 5, I let her watch the Lion King. She's a fairly emotional little thing, so we were concerned about how she'd react to the death of the father.
We get to the scene, and I'm watching her carefully, but there's no big reaction... this is a kid who cries during some commercials. Anyways, I don't beg the issue and let it roll. Later in the movie she asks where Simba's dad is, and I think, "here we go." I pause the movie and talk with her about how he died in the stampede. Her reaction...
"What's the big deal, he still has his mom." Ice cold.
Guilt is good...
One Halloween when my son was like 4 our little nuclear family went to a corn maze for fun. To make things a little more exciting the proprietors had also set a tipi with a giant pumpkin inside. You were suppose to go into the tipi and make a wish on the pumpkin. So we sent my son in make a wish and he says "I wish it was just me and mommy and daddy was at work."
My heart shrank three sizes that day. He's 20 now and is still mortified with guilt over saying this.
Careful what you wish for.
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Every morning as a kid I was always woke up to the sound of my mom singing. It was her way of "wake up it's time for school." I'd sometimes wait beside my door or pretend to sleep just to listen to her more. When I was 10, I was in a bad mood and my mom was singing while driving, I yelled at her "stop singing! you don't even sound good." She stopped singing after that.
Dad loves you too!
I didn't realize this until my sister started doing it (there's seven years between us). My Mum was a teacher, so when I had homework, it made sense to go to "the teacher" for help. I never asked my Dad because I didn't see the point.
My sister starts school and does the same with her homework. One night he said "I can help you with it" and my sister, who was about 7/8 at the time walked past him and said, "no thanks, I'll just wait for Mum to get home."
He looked really upset. I think it was the assumption we thought he was stupid (we didn't) or we didn't want to spend time with him (not always true).
It's just a dream...
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When my daughter gets a night terror at night she will tell me crying, that she wished I died instead of mommy.... She hasn't done it for a couple of months now but, it hurts more than I can bear. I calm her down and get her back to sleep and usually go to my room and cry.
Everybody doesn't have to like you...
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My four year old is always talking about how she wants her mom to do things because she loves her mama. She spent the first three years of her life saying she didn't like me. :(
I know she's just a little girl, but once in a while it gets to me.
Just because he is your's doesn't mean he is cool.
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I spent thousands of dollars in court to stand up to my ex-wife so my son could attend an internship his senior year.
He didn't finish the internship, accused me of never supporting him and then went to live with his mother after he graduated because he wanted to smoke, forgetting the experience he learned during his internship.
Happy Holidays... except for you Sir!
My kids are 19 and 15. This year they didn't even acknowledge me for Father's day. For the most part, my wife didn't either.
You know who did? My 8 year old nephew and niece. Made me feel pretty crappy.
My ex just recently moved an hour and a half away so thinks are touch and go with my son right now.
But he will regularly say how much he wants to spend time at her new place when we are spending our time together, or repeatedly ask to have sleepovers at her house when he first comes back. I know he loves us both but dang that cuts deep.
I love cookie dough!
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Both of my kids make a lot of comments about my body and some of them can sting. Last week my 5 year old said my arms were like bags of cookie dough.
No invite for you...
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My almost three year-old twins often tell me I'm not invited to their birthday party.
Unhand that fool!
Right now he's a toddler so he's just hardwired to be a bit of a jerk, but it bothers me when I get him up in the morning or come home from work and he doesn't want to hug me or tell me about his day at all. Also, he begs me to play with him but when I do he generally takes whatever toy I'm using or tells me I "can't do that."
Father & Husband Always...
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My son is 2. Yesterday my wife asked him to come sit with her and read a book. He said "no don't want you, want dada." I could tell it really hurt my wife's feelings so I moved to the couch and sat our son in between us and we read to him. 2 year olds just say exactly what they think with no regards to hurting feelings.
My teenage son came across some old wedding photos that his dad had put away for him at his office. When his step-Mom discovered these photos, she became upset, so my son threw them away to avoid the drama. These photos were 24 years old. There are no duplicates and my son doesn't understand why I'm upset that he didn't just bring them to me.
Do I know you?
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When I drop them off at a party or day camp and I go to say bye, they've already gone off with friends. Kids are getting older now so it's not cool to kiss or hug dad goodbye, but man it stings, and I sure don't want to embarass them so I just sadly walk to my car.
Snooze....
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When my son begs me to help him make something in the garage and then in the middle of explaining to him how we're going to do it..... asks me if he can go play Minecraft instead.
Before the "you're boring" comments we were designing a fidget spinner in CAD to print on the 3D printer. He was doing the work himself.
You're hardly a laugh riot yourself kid...
"I like Dad, he's more fun." Look, I don't like being the disciplinarian, either, but I feel like I have to sometimes. Sucks to be seen as the less-preferred parent for doing something I wish I didn't have to do in the first place.
The excuses people use to dismiss behavior range from mundane and meaningless to the sort of leaps normally reserved for kangaroos and Olympians. It's sometimes amazing that these excuses work - but they do.
Some of them work so well that they're just sort of "accepted." That, obviously, kind of sucks and is something we should avoid - so let's talk about 'em.
Can't swerve around what you don't see, ya know?
Reddit user TMTtasmachine asked:
What's the biggest excuse used for a-hole behavior that shouldn't be accepted as much as it is?
... and away we go.
Jerk Privileges
" 'That's just how they are.' "
"One of the biggest enablers for tantrum throwing, bullying, etc. is that they get treated with kid gloves to avoid dealing with them." - alexrt87
"Oh my God you hit the nail on the head. Whenever someone says 'that's just the way they are' I say:"
" 'Yes, that's the point! Glad you noticed too! Now is it okey-doke for them to be jerks they have special jerk privileges? Or maybe they are just people and should treat everyone else as such?' " - notatrumpchump
"It depends on how it's said."
"People are the way that they are, and you shouldn't be surprised when they continue to be that way."
"This, obviously, doesn't excuse it - but people also shouldn't be surprised when a bad person continues to make bad decisions. Neither should we waste space in our minds being bothered by it." - unlawfulfoxy
Harassment Isn't Humor
season 2 lol GIF by ShamelessGiphy" 'It's just a joke, bro.' Harassing people isn't humor." - loading__99
"Schrödinger's Douchebag"
"A guy who says/does offensive things and decides whether he was joking based on the reaction of people around him." - Eatsleeptren
"Dude, legit had someone come up to me and start shouting in my face, calling me Madison, pretending I was cheating on him. Literally the most crowded location outside a theater, everyone staring at us, looking at me like I was some horrible cheater while I was out with my then fiancé."
"I started hyperventilating, my fiancé nearly decked the dude, and then someone shouts 'CUT' like this is some big 'YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA' moment and everything's supposed to be okay."
"I burst into tears."
"It was the most humiliating moment of my life, and thank god my then fiancé, now husband is not the type to overreact or jump to conclusions, or be abusive. Imagine how bad that could have been for someone with an angry or abusive partner."
"Prank videos are a plague on the internet and there is a REASON so many of them are fake, or involve actors." - Darkovika
Stay Sober, Then!
Drunk Drinking Beer GIFGiphy" 'I was drunk / high / etc.' "
"Then don't drink?! Stay sober if you can't NOT be an a**hole!" - BasedBenjamin
"Alternately, I hear a lot of 'I'm a happy drunk!' "
"Yeah, according to your drunk a$s. That doesn't mean you're not an ahole. Not remembering is not an excuse either." - PepeBabinski
"I was that guy. I swore I was a 'happy drunk' - and I was. It was everyone ELSE who was miserable while I was happy."
"I was also loud, obnoxious, and I wouldn't remember sh*t the next day."
"Quitting drinking has been one of my best choices of my life." - TTungsteNN
"Help"
new girl coach GIFGiphy" 'I'm just trying to help you' " - Miserable-Air1234
"Every time I've heard this, they're manipulating me while helping only themselves." - mykittenfarts
"My Mom to a T. Everything she does is better than anyone else's and she always gets pissed that people don't praise her for 'helping.' "
"She's now a certified (by herself) psychic and I have come to the conclusion that she's not a covert narcissist but an obvious one. I really wish I was joking." - Silent_Discussion657
Parenting Problems
Leave Me Alone Run GIF by TLC EuropeGiphy"Any variation of 'I'm a Mother/parent.' "
"Had some lady cut me in line at a coffee shop and she hit me with 'I'm a single Mom of 3!' as her excuse."
"Ok? And? I was still here first." - maid-for-hire
"I'm a single mom and I f*cking haaaate when other single moms/parents pull that sh*t to get special treatment."
"Last week, I was having a rough morning, my kid was being difficult, and I was running late. I was rude to a cashier over a minor inconvenience."
"Not only did I apologize for my shitty behavior, I wrote corporate to let them know how professional and patient she was while I acted like a f*cking toddler."
"Was being a parent part of the reason I was frustrated? Absolutely. Was it an excuse for that behavior? HELL no."
"I acted like a b*tch, and I called myself out, and I apologized. I still feel bad about that - I rarely let things get to me to the point I snap at others." - ClusterfckyShtshow
"Wow. I'm a Mom as well and tired but it doesn't give anyone a right to use it as some sort of ploy to get away with stuff."
"Like, mice become Moms about 12 times a year. You're not special 🤣" - SpoonLoops
Believing Your Boss
The Office Monday GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"I had a boss say some really racist sh*t around me one day and the next day, out of nowhere, he says:"
" 'Don't believe half the things that come out of my mouth!' "
"It was not really an excuse, more like trying to cover for himself after the fact, but still stuck with me." - sirlongbottom441
"Report them to HR. Seriously." - kokichi--ouma
"Looking past the racist stuff for a bit, that's not a very encouraging thing to hear from a boss…" - WonderfulBlackberry9
Bad Day Again
Bad Day Reaction GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphy" 'I'm having a bad day/week' "
"Okay, so you decide everybody that you interact with deserves the same fate? Get out of here, dude." - myordinaryexistence
"We all got stress, don't take it out on me. I get some people have stress bad enough for it to be passable every once and a while (family member passing, etc) but general, stress should not lead to you being a jerk to me." - willsimpforfree
"Damn, I'm definitely guilty of this. Usually I remember to apologize after but at this point I've learned to just avoid the situation in the first place by minimizing my interaction with people if I'm in a shitty mood." - nozzzrul
"Reminds me of when that White boy went on a murder rampage and killed a bunch of Asian women & that a-hole sheriff gave a press conference telling the media that the 'poor boy had a bad day.' "
"My idea of a bad day involves going home after a rough day at work and just staying in the house."
"Apparently, I should change my ethnicity from Asian to White and go on a murder rampage, see if my @ss gets a sympathetic sheriff to say on my behalf that I had 'a bad day.' " - kingkazul400
It's Not An Excuse
Season 2 Reaction GIF by FriendsGiphy"This won't go down well, but using depression as an excuse. As someone who suffers from it, it's still not ok to treat others like sh*t" - Rainbowwallstickers
"Could not agree enough. My partner has a 'friend' who treats everyone like sh*t all the time, has no consideration for others and openly mocks people in public."
"She gets so much grace from those around her under the guise of her 'mental health.' It's so infuriating watching an adult woman never have to take responsibility for her actions." - 34boor
"I get there are some things you can't control, but you are still responsible for keeping that sh*t in check and if you're aware of your mental illness, you should be aware of how you approach people and situations."
"I'll admit I used to be guilty of using my mental illness to be an @ss, but now I'm trying to better myself" - VeeSquibbles
Florida Gonna Florida
Looney Tunes Florida GIFGiphy"People are letting Florida off the hook way too damn much. And I live in Florida."
"Just because it's hilarious doesn't mean it isn't still completely f*cked up." - AlphaWhiskeyOscar
"The phrase 'Florida Man' is almost always followed some heinous way a Floridian is being an a$$hole." - PepeBabinski
"I'm also originally from Florida, and that state has serious problems. We need to pay attention to it." - [Reddit]
Moment of honesty ... as a Floridian ... yeaaaah, I'm gonna have to agree with that last one.