Children are a handful. You have to birth them, pay for them and then take care of them for decades. So one would think that would be grounds for some positive treatment. But kids can be cruel.
Whether they didn't mean it or not, children can cause a hit to their parents emotional psyche.
Redditor beardlesshipster reached out to the parents of Reddit asking... Parents of Reddit, what's something your kids do without realizing it hurts your feelings? Grab a drink moms and dads, you're not alone.
Sorry Pop!
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Four year old - "Daddy, I love you."
Me - "Thanks bug, I love you too."
Four year old - "Daddy, I love mommy more though."
Daddying for life...
I have a daughter, 12. We've always been pretty close, and in most ways we still are. We've always done everything together... but, she's at the age now where friends, etc. are becoming more important. I'll bring up something we can do, like watching a movie that I think she'll like. Five minutes in, she'll get a message from a friend, light up, and just disappear for the rest of the movie.
Now, I get it. I'm sure I was like that too. I'm not gonna freak out about it or anything... but I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt my feelings a little now and then.
Dads just want to keep daddying.
Do you hear you?
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I'm speaking from the kids side, but sharing it because I was devastated the other day to hear my moms side...
When I was young, my brothers and I would tease my mom's singing voice every time we sang together (church, scouting events, whatevs). From our side of things, it truly was done very lightheartedly. I loved singing with my mom, her crooked voice was part of that love.
A few days ago, I was driving with her. She's in her 70s. A great song came on the radio that I know she loves and I started to sing along, asking her to join me. She did a little, but soon stopped. I asked her why she wouldn't sing with me.
"Because I have a funny voice."
Know where you stand!
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When my daughter was 5, I let her watch the Lion King. She's a fairly emotional little thing, so we were concerned about how she'd react to the death of the father.
We get to the scene, and I'm watching her carefully, but there's no big reaction... this is a kid who cries during some commercials. Anyways, I don't beg the issue and let it roll. Later in the movie she asks where Simba's dad is, and I think, "here we go." I pause the movie and talk with her about how he died in the stampede. Her reaction...
"What's the big deal, he still has his mom." Ice cold.
Guilt is good...
One Halloween when my son was like 4 our little nuclear family went to a corn maze for fun. To make things a little more exciting the proprietors had also set a tipi with a giant pumpkin inside. You were suppose to go into the tipi and make a wish on the pumpkin. So we sent my son in make a wish and he says "I wish it was just me and mommy and daddy was at work."
My heart shrank three sizes that day. He's 20 now and is still mortified with guilt over saying this.
Careful what you wish for.
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Every morning as a kid I was always woke up to the sound of my mom singing. It was her way of "wake up it's time for school." I'd sometimes wait beside my door or pretend to sleep just to listen to her more. When I was 10, I was in a bad mood and my mom was singing while driving, I yelled at her "stop singing! you don't even sound good." She stopped singing after that.
Dad loves you too!
I didn't realize this until my sister started doing it (there's seven years between us). My Mum was a teacher, so when I had homework, it made sense to go to "the teacher" for help. I never asked my Dad because I didn't see the point.
My sister starts school and does the same with her homework. One night he said "I can help you with it" and my sister, who was about 7/8 at the time walked past him and said, "no thanks, I'll just wait for Mum to get home."
He looked really upset. I think it was the assumption we thought he was stupid (we didn't) or we didn't want to spend time with him (not always true).
It's just a dream...
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When my daughter gets a night terror at night she will tell me crying, that she wished I died instead of mommy.... She hasn't done it for a couple of months now but, it hurts more than I can bear. I calm her down and get her back to sleep and usually go to my room and cry.
Everybody doesn't have to like you...
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My four year old is always talking about how she wants her mom to do things because she loves her mama. She spent the first three years of her life saying she didn't like me. :(
I know she's just a little girl, but once in a while it gets to me.
Just because he is your's doesn't mean he is cool.
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I spent thousands of dollars in court to stand up to my ex-wife so my son could attend an internship his senior year.
He didn't finish the internship, accused me of never supporting him and then went to live with his mother after he graduated because he wanted to smoke, forgetting the experience he learned during his internship.
Happy Holidays... except for you Sir!
My kids are 19 and 15. This year they didn't even acknowledge me for Father's day. For the most part, my wife didn't either.
You know who did? My 8 year old nephew and niece. Made me feel pretty crappy.
My ex just recently moved an hour and a half away so thinks are touch and go with my son right now.
But he will regularly say how much he wants to spend time at her new place when we are spending our time together, or repeatedly ask to have sleepovers at her house when he first comes back. I know he loves us both but dang that cuts deep.
I love cookie dough!
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Both of my kids make a lot of comments about my body and some of them can sting. Last week my 5 year old said my arms were like bags of cookie dough.
No invite for you...
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My almost three year-old twins often tell me I'm not invited to their birthday party.
Unhand that fool!
Right now he's a toddler so he's just hardwired to be a bit of a jerk, but it bothers me when I get him up in the morning or come home from work and he doesn't want to hug me or tell me about his day at all. Also, he begs me to play with him but when I do he generally takes whatever toy I'm using or tells me I "can't do that."
Father & Husband Always...
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My son is 2. Yesterday my wife asked him to come sit with her and read a book. He said "no don't want you, want dada." I could tell it really hurt my wife's feelings so I moved to the couch and sat our son in between us and we read to him. 2 year olds just say exactly what they think with no regards to hurting feelings.
My teenage son came across some old wedding photos that his dad had put away for him at his office. When his step-Mom discovered these photos, she became upset, so my son threw them away to avoid the drama. These photos were 24 years old. There are no duplicates and my son doesn't understand why I'm upset that he didn't just bring them to me.
Do I know you?
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When I drop them off at a party or day camp and I go to say bye, they've already gone off with friends. Kids are getting older now so it's not cool to kiss or hug dad goodbye, but man it stings, and I sure don't want to embarass them so I just sadly walk to my car.
Snooze....
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When my son begs me to help him make something in the garage and then in the middle of explaining to him how we're going to do it..... asks me if he can go play Minecraft instead.
Before the "you're boring" comments we were designing a fidget spinner in CAD to print on the 3D printer. He was doing the work himself.
You're hardly a laugh riot yourself kid...
"I like Dad, he's more fun." Look, I don't like being the disciplinarian, either, but I feel like I have to sometimes. Sucks to be seen as the less-preferred parent for doing something I wish I didn't have to do in the first place.
But sometimes, the wisdom imparted by friends isn't always helpful or relevant to the situation.
Curious to hear from strangers online who could do without specific knowledge, Redditor Saibotnl1 asked:
"What life advice can just f'k off?"
These Redditors have a problem with how certain people have on outlook on life.
Time To Rest
"Sleep when you’re dead."
"Cool, but you’re going to be dead a lot sooner."
– Tag2graff
Irrelevant Sadness
"People have it so much worse than you so don’t be sad!"
– notrachelmar
"To that I like to say, 'people have it so much better than you so don't be happy!'"
– ___jupiter____
Your Life Path
"Almost anything relating to what age you must be in order to buy a house, have children, marry, have a profession, or do anything else. Seriously, everyone's life is different from everyone else's. Make your life the way you want it to be. If you so desire. Up to you."
– Frn071
On The Contrary
“Cheaters never prosper”
"Yes, they f'king do."
– waqasnaseem07
People can get out of any situation they find displeasing.
But others feel people should just "stick it out."
Ignoring Bullies
"Just ignore bullys or get someone else to handle it for you. I have never seen this work, only makes it worse. The only effective way I've seen to deal with them is by not making yourself an easy target and make them scared to f'k with you again. If going psycho on their a** is the only thing they'll respond to that's their fault. Also want to add in schools they will punish you for self defense but that punishment is only sitting around a few hours in detention or sitting around at home with a suspension. The punishment is temporary boredom, it's absolutely nothing compared to being bullied and when it's over the important message will still stand that you will not tolerate being a victim."
– User Delted
Remain to be Miserable
"Stick it out"
"Whether that's sh**ty jobs, shi**y relationships, shi**y living situations..."
"By all means don't just give up on things when you face challenges, but if something feels wrong or is wrecking your peace then take some control and change it if you can!"
– petitezoey
"Easy for you to say," might be an auto-response to these suggestions for many people.
Invitation For Recklesslessness
"Live like everyday was your last"
Yall know what people do when they learn they have a single day left to live?"
– LimeGrass619
A Possible Consequence
"I did that as a teenager and ended up homeless and addicted to heroin. Didn’t pan out for me too well."
"19 years sober though today."
– Open-Section-7263
A Practical Approach
"If I knew with certainty that I had one day left, I'd double-check all my financials, my will, and my insurance policies, make sure my wife had all of my passwords and knew where all the money was, spend the rest of the day with her and the kids, then call the medical examiner and ask to lie down on the gurney so that when I die they won't strain their back moving my remains out of my house."
– Asteriad
Nose Stuck In A Book
"Work while they sleep. Study while they party"
"That's not a recipe for success, that's a recipe for a lot of white hairs, burnout syndrome and a stroke before your 40s..."
– Khomuna
Doesn't Apply To Everyone
"Do what you love and money will follow"
"I love walking my dogs and grilling food for my friends but That sh*t doesn't pay the bills as well as my engineering degree!"
– Elons_android
While people's intentions are good, they're better off keeping their two cents in their own pockets.
Not everyone likes to hear platitudes.
Sometimes, people just want to know they're not alone with their problems over listening to unlikely solutions that are nothing more than superficial pick-me-ups.
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