Children are a handful. You have to birth them, pay for them and then take care of them for decades. So one would think that would be grounds for some positive treatment. But kids can be cruel.
Whether they didn't mean it or not, children can cause a hit to their parents emotional psyche.
Redditor beardlesshipsterreached out to the parents of Reddit asking... Parents of Reddit, what's something your kids do without realizing it hurts your feelings? Grab a drink moms and dads, you're not alone.
Sorry Pop!
GiphyFour year old - "Daddy, I love you."
Me - "Thanks bug, I love you too."
Four year old - "Daddy, I love mommy more though."
Daddying for life...
I have a daughter, 12. We've always been pretty close, and in most ways we still are. We've always done everything together... but, she's at the age now where friends, etc. are becoming more important. I'll bring up something we can do, like watching a movie that I think she'll like. Five minutes in, she'll get a message from a friend, light up, and just disappear for the rest of the movie.
Now, I get it. I'm sure I was like that too. I'm not gonna freak out about it or anything... but I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt my feelings a little now and then.
Dads just want to keep daddying.
Do you hear you?
GiphyI'm speaking from the kids side, but sharing it because I was devastated the other day to hear my moms side...
When I was young, my brothers and I would tease my mom's singing voice every time we sang together (church, scouting events, whatevs). From our side of things, it truly was done very lightheartedly. I loved singing with my mom, her crooked voice was part of that love.
A few days ago, I was driving with her. She's in her 70s. A great song came on the radio that I know she loves and I started to sing along, asking her to join me. She did a little, but soon stopped. I asked her why she wouldn't sing with me.
"Because I have a funny voice."
Know where you stand!
GiphyWhen my daughter was 5, I let her watch the Lion King. She's a fairly emotional little thing, so we were concerned about how she'd react to the death of the father.
We get to the scene, and I'm watching her carefully, but there's no big reaction... this is a kid who cries during some commercials. Anyways, I don't beg the issue and let it roll. Later in the movie she asks where Simba's dad is, and I think, "here we go." I pause the movie and talk with her about how he died in the stampede. Her reaction...
"What's the big deal, he still has his mom." Ice cold.
Guilt is good...
One Halloween when my son was like 4 our little nuclear family went to a corn maze for fun. To make things a little more exciting the proprietors had also set a tipi with a giant pumpkin inside. You were suppose to go into the tipi and make a wish on the pumpkin. So we sent my son in make a wish and he says "I wish it was just me and mommy and daddy was at work."
My heart shrank three sizes that day. He's 20 now and is still mortified with guilt over saying this.
Careful what you wish for.
GiphyEvery morning as a kid I was always woke up to the sound of my mom singing. It was her way of "wake up it's time for school." I'd sometimes wait beside my door or pretend to sleep just to listen to her more. When I was 10, I was in a bad mood and my mom was singing while driving, I yelled at her "stop singing! you don't even sound good." She stopped singing after that.
Dad loves you too!
I didn't realize this until my sister started doing it (there's seven years between us). My Mum was a teacher, so when I had homework, it made sense to go to "the teacher" for help. I never asked my Dad because I didn't see the point.
My sister starts school and does the same with her homework. One night he said "I can help you with it" and my sister, who was about 7/8 at the time walked past him and said, "no thanks, I'll just wait for Mum to get home."
He looked really upset. I think it was the assumption we thought he was stupid (we didn't) or we didn't want to spend time with him (not always true).
It's just a dream...
GiphyWhen my daughter gets a night terror at night she will tell me crying, that she wished I died instead of mommy.... She hasn't done it for a couple of months now but, it hurts more than I can bear. I calm her down and get her back to sleep and usually go to my room and cry.
Everybody doesn't have to like you...
GiphyMy four year old is always talking about how she wants her mom to do things because she loves her mama. She spent the first three years of her life saying she didn't like me. :(
I know she's just a little girl, but once in a while it gets to me.
Just because he is your's doesn't mean he is cool.
GiphyI spent thousands of dollars in court to stand up to my ex-wife so my son could attend an internship his senior year.
He didn't finish the internship, accused me of never supporting him and then went to live with his mother after he graduated because he wanted to smoke, forgetting the experience he learned during his internship.
Happy Holidays... except for you Sir!
My kids are 19 and 15. This year they didn't even acknowledge me for Father's day. For the most part, my wife didn't either.
You know who did? My 8 year old nephew and niece. Made me feel pretty crappy.
My ex just recently moved an hour and a half away so thinks are touch and go with my son right now.
But he will regularly say how much he wants to spend time at her new place when we are spending our time together, or repeatedly ask to have sleepovers at her house when he first comes back. I know he loves us both but dang that cuts deep.
I love cookie dough!
GiphyBoth of my kids make a lot of comments about my body and some of them can sting. Last week my 5 year old said my arms were like bags of cookie dough.
No invite for you...
GiphyMy almost three year-old twins often tell me I'm not invited to their birthday party.
Unhand that fool!
Right now he's a toddler so he's just hardwired to be a bit of a jerk, but it bothers me when I get him up in the morning or come home from work and he doesn't want to hug me or tell me about his day at all. Also, he begs me to play with him but when I do he generally takes whatever toy I'm using or tells me I "can't do that."
Father & Husband Always...
GiphyMy son is 2. Yesterday my wife asked him to come sit with her and read a book. He said "no don't want you, want dada." I could tell it really hurt my wife's feelings so I moved to the couch and sat our son in between us and we read to him. 2 year olds just say exactly what they think with no regards to hurting feelings.
My teenage son came across some old wedding photos that his dad had put away for him at his office. When his step-Mom discovered these photos, she became upset, so my son threw them away to avoid the drama. These photos were 24 years old. There are no duplicates and my son doesn't understand why I'm upset that he didn't just bring them to me.
Do I know you?
GiphyWhen I drop them off at a party or day camp and I go to say bye, they've already gone off with friends. Kids are getting older now so it's not cool to kiss or hug dad goodbye, but man it stings, and I sure don't want to embarass them so I just sadly walk to my car.
Snooze....
GiphyWhen my son begs me to help him make something in the garage and then in the middle of explaining to him how we're going to do it..... asks me if he can go play Minecraft instead.
Before the "you're boring" comments we were designing a fidget spinner in CAD to print on the 3D printer. He was doing the work himself.
You're hardly a laugh riot yourself kid...
"I like Dad, he's more fun." Look, I don't like being the disciplinarian, either, but I feel like I have to sometimes. Sucks to be seen as the less-preferred parent for doing something I wish I didn't have to do in the first place.
Redditor h-gotfred wanted to hear from the over 50 crowd, so they asked:
"To you Redditors aged 50+, what's something you genuinely believe young people haven't realized yet, but could enrich their lives or positively impact their outlook on life?"
There is so much to know about life.
And we have to age to learn it.
So let's chat...
Be Happy
just married love GIFGiphy"Marriage/relationships should be fun, and happy. Life is hard, things get tough. Find someone that makes the tough times easier, not harder."
Inevitable-Mine6466
"Piggybacking off this and saying, even the happiest marriages get into arguments. It's not a reason to leave."
J3sush8sm3
Battles...
"Not everything that you disagree with deserves an argument. Pick your battles and let trivial things slide."
hail2theKingbabee
"To echo this: Not everyone you disagree with is 'wrong.' They are simply operating with different information. You can disagree with someone on an issue and still value the person. Don't let one issue define your entire relationship with another person."
A_Socratic_Argument
The End
"If you die, your employer will have your job posted before you are buried. Remember that when making work/life choices."
Justin9314
"I started my career at corporate headquarters for a large insurance company. I was doing GREAT, but I just didn’t like the industry. I applied for a job at a major university and someone took a chance on me and gave me the position (transitioning from for-profit to non-profit is notoriously hard)."
"I made less money over the course of my career certainly but I wasn’t on poverty wages by any means. But I remember about 5 years in, one of my old VPs was in town and we got together. His comment was 'We miss you, but you look so much happier, the psychic income is showing.' Insightful guy."
Reynyan
The Truth
"2 things I will be eternally grateful to my grandfather for instilling in me..."
"Failure is not an end state unless it is where you choose to stop. He loved to quote that line by Churchill whenever something didn't work out for me, Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm."
"Honesty is the most powerful tool you can use to define yourself. Admit your mistake, frankly and honestly. The truth always comes out in the end no matter how big or small and it doesn't get better with age. You can give back something you steal, and you can help those you hurt but once they brand you a liar, it's all you will ever be."
iskandar-
Be Quiet
Golden Girls Rose GIF by TV LandGiphy"Unless you don't mind hearing EEEEEEEEEEEE like all the time day and night, use hearing protection in loud situations. Tinnitus is a bi*ch."
revnhoj
Take care of your ears.
One of life's greatest lessons!!!
Live by the Moon
bart simpson maggie GIFGiphy"Wear sunscreen."
nilecrane
"I just had a quick look at my 50-year-old upper chest, frequently exposed to the sun in my youth, and compared it to my 50-year-old belly, which has always been clothed and covered (I have never liked two-piece swimsuits). What a difference!"
HootieRocker59
Passions
"Take a genuine interest in what other people have to say, ask them follow-up questions about their passions in life. Don’t just talk about yourself, or wait for your turn to talk. That’s how you have a conversation, and build a relationship."
MayIServeYouWell
"Sometimes you gotta be careful with that. Pay attention if the other person is doing that too, it's important for you to share about your life. It can be kind of lonely when you know so much about your friends, but they don't know about you."
jacarelunar
Practice makes Perfect
"Every skill takes determined practice to master. I see my young friends/relatives try and give up on so many things because 'they weren't very good at it.' If you keep doing that, you'll never be very good at anything."
EarhornJonesI
"I love cooking - and find it easy and relaxing. I have hit a point where I can make several dishes that I can honestly say are far superior to what I could get at a restaurant. I love delighting my family and friends with what I cook."
"But the truth is - I've prepared thousands of dishes. I've practiced for 40+ years. I have f**ked up every single type of food there is at least once. I've burnt things. I've undercooked chicken. I failed to emulsify things that should have been emulsified. I forgot to set the timer. I've added too much salt. I chopped when I should have torn. I did all of the wrong things at some point. And because of all of these things, I can walk into any kitchen and make something delicious."
NewSummerOrange
63
"I’d say invest in your health by regularly exercising. My wife got me into running when we were in our twenties, and it has been a big part of our lives ever since (I’m 63). Nothing crazy, no marathons, we don’t time ourselves or follow a strict training plan, we just pick a route, go at our own pace, and have fun. We still go 3-4 miles, 3-4x per week."
"I also started working out at the gym 3x a week with free weights in my 30s, and have been doing it ever since. I’m no Schwarzenegger, believe me, but I can still work around the house, move furniture, shovel snow and have fun tossing a ball around with the kids without injuring or exhausting myself. Between aerobic fitness and weights, I’ve been able to stay remarkably healthy my entire adult life, knock on wood. It’s also been great for my mental health and managing stress."
"You don’t have to go nuts and set unreasonably strict requirements for exercise goals or diet that a normal person can’t possibly maintain - just do the best you can, make exercising a few times per week a habit, eat a reasonable diet (avoid fried stuff, eat fruit and veggies, lay off the sweets), and 40 years later you’ll really thank yourself, believe me!"
lanky_planky
Plan Ahead
Make It Rain Money GIF by yvngswagGiphy"Debt can really ruin your life. If you want to take on a lot of it, make sure you have a good plan and run it by a lot of smart people first."
vanityklaw
Debt. Everyone should learn about avoiding debt as early as possible.
This whole list should be taught in Universities.
