Woman Feels Bad After Fellow Mom's Horrid Behavior Leads To Her Daughter With Special Needs Leaving Youth Soccer Team
Sometimes being blessed with age-defying looks can be a disservice, especially for one soccer mom.
A judgemental soccer mom raised issue with a couple after assuming there was a significant age gap between husband and wife.
But when Redditor olderthanilook11 confronted the woman and disproved her accusation, the flustered mother pulled her daughter from the team.
The original poster (OP) asked if she was the a$$hole for defending herself after feeling guilty that the mother's daughter was no longer on the team.
"My husband and I are 54 and 56. We've been married almost 39 years. Yes, we got married at 17 and 19."
"Our daughter was a surprise late in life pregnancy when I was 49. For some reason, I've always looked much younger than my age. I'm usually estimated to be in my early to mid thirties. Gets annoying at times now, but it's okay."
"My grandmother was the same way. My husband looks his age. I worry about the severe generation gap and finding friends with similarly aged kids, so I try to keep up with younger pop culture and technology."
"We signed our daughter up for soccer this year. We were at our daughter's soccer practice last Saturday, and a mom came up to me when my husband was off getting coffee."
"We talked, which went well."
"When my husband came back, she went stone cold and excused herself."
"All this week, this woman has launched a campaign against me and my entire family. She thinks my husband and I have a 30-40 year age difference, which is 'inappropriate.'"
"She thinks our relationship is based on money (?!), that it 'sets a bad example for young girls' and I especially should 'think about what my daughter is learning.' The team parents were starting to be against me, and I needed to respond."
"I was infuriated by all of this. I try to keep a mentality of 'age only means what you let it' and care for my appearance and stay more modern, but I wouldn't think I'm trophy wife level."
The OP found she had to explain herself with evidence in order to regain the other parents' respect.
"I sent a mass email with what I think is a toned down reaction to this woman's judgement and three things: my wedding announcement from 1981, my daughter birth announcement (which showed our ages), and a picture of me heavily pregnant, with my husband, at my 50th birthday party."
"The woman was humiliated in front of all of the parents on the team, so much so that she had to leave because they all refused to work with her at all."
Unfortunately, being dismissed meant that the ousted mother's daughter suffered the consequence.
"Her child has special needs, and this is one of the most inclusive teams. Many of the leagues around won't allow special needs children because they 'can't accommodate.'"
"I feel bad that now her child can't experience sports, but maybe she earned it?"
"We're not leaving this one because it is more accepting of non-traditional families and works best with our schedule."
So, is the OP the a$$hole?
Even though the daughter with special needs lost her position on the team, many sided with the OP as "Not the A$$hole" (NTA).
"NTA. This really isn't about the special needs child, but about the mother."
"She shouldn't be attacking other parents on the team. And frankly, who cares what the ages are of adults who are happily married. Good on you, OP!" – cyanocittaetprocyon
"Yeah, the title had me a little concerned, but it really seems to me like the child had nothing to do with it at all."
"Unfortunate collateral damage, but nothing related to the child being special needs whatsoever. Agreed with NTA; the child's mother has the burden to bear for this." – fender8421
"The mom of the special needs child brought all of this on herself because had she not tried to smear OP's husband by essentially calling him a pervert for having a younger wife (which wasn't even true), then her child would still be on the team."
"She messed with the bull and got the horns."
"If it's hard for her child to find a new team - which I don't doubt - then maybe next time she will think about her actions before doing something that could negatively impact her child."
"If the mom had committed a crime and got sent to jail, would it have been the police officers' fault or her own?" – HellKat1988
"NTA you had to respond. She earned her fate. Maybe next time she'll learn to get all the info before gossiping." – Lost-Tea
The scorned mother was not officially forced to remove her daughter from the team, but she could have stayed.
"She wasn't even kicked off the team, she chose to leave the team because all the parents hated her for spreading lies."
"She could've stayed on the team and rode the storm for her daughter, apologized to OP and owned up to her mistake but she chose to run away."
"What type of example is she setting?" – AzureMagelet
"You're right. She created a problem and then fled from it instead of facing the music."
"I bet she also will be telling everyone (in whatever new social circle she ends up in) that she was unfairly humiliated into leaving, and she won't think she has any culpability." – HellKat1988
"As the parent of a special needs child, I would think that this person would know what it's like to be a pariah before doing the same to others..."
"Definitely, NTA." – i-am-always-awol
What was the OP expected to do?
Redditor "onomastics88" suggested that even if the accusation against the OP was true, it was not the other woman's business.
"What I didn't understand what is - what is OP supposed to do about it, even if every assumption that woman made was true?"
"Divorce her husband, break up her family, so her husband can look for an even younger wife? Despite the actual circumstances, I just wonder what butting into OP's life and prejudging the implications of a significant age difference was supposed to accomplish to make the world a better place for all the daughters, and when OP ignored this to the extent, the woman kept on about it and got others involved against OP."
"What was she supposed to do, feel bad and abandon her daughter and husband for being a bad example?"
"The assumptions were not true, but defending herself against this woman was necessary, but it's not like there's anything wrong with it, or that lady's business at all, if OP was a young gold-digger."
"OP is NTA for putting those people in their place, but not everyone under the scrutiny of these moms is able to overturn assumptions with evidence, i.e. they are actually younger than their husbands, and did marry them for financial security."
"What would that woman harassing her expect her to do in that case?"
"Too bad about the kid, but soccer is not the only sport." – onomastics88
In case anyone wondered, the OP found herself having to explain how she met her husband.
"We married so young because we both had very...harsh homes and were in love (still are!). At the time, marriage meant automatic emancipation and you had better economic chances pairing up."
"We do have more money than most parents of young children because my husband and I are naturally not very fertile. We were essentially dual income no kids for over 30 years."
"We took an 'if it happens, it happens' approach to kids and stopped preventing after we both had graduated college."
Most of us love animals and take stock of other people's pets. Some people have a better chance of remembering another person's pet's name than the person themselves.
Part of that allure has to do with the fun and creative names that many people come up with for their pets.
The Redditor, who has since deleted their account, asked:
"What is the best pet's name you've ever heard?"
The Autobots Would Be Proud
"I had a friend once who had a bunny named Hoptimus Prime."
Extra Hoppy Beer
"I live in northern Colorado which has a pretty big craft beer scene. One of our biggest and most popular breweries is Odell Brewing."
"One of my coworkers named her dog Odell because he had three legs which, in her words, made him extra hoppy."
At the Race Track
"I once heard of a race horse named Thunderbritches!"
From the 'Tragedy of Julius Caesar'
"I had a friend who had a 14-foot python as a pet named Julius Squeezer."
An Ode to Eminem
"My wife's fish was named Swim Shady."
Such a Giant, Cuddly Dog
"An Old English Sheepdog named 'Woolly.'"
Not Like the Movies
"My cat's name, he's named 'Gremlin'."
"A lot of people believe the movies were the inspiration, I just wanted to give my cat a weird but cute name."
What a Tongue-Twister
"My guinea pig was Wanda Wilhelmina Wobblebottom."
Tiny But Mighty
"A Redditor once posted a photo of their little, black kitten named Admiral Anchovies."
"That is all."
"A little pug named Barbecue, or perhaps a corgi mutt with eyebrows named Party Time."
Adorable Stage Names
"I still love the name Kitty Purry (Katy Perry's cat)."
"Someone in the 'backyardchickens' subReddit named one of their girls Attila the Hen."
A Name Upgrade
"A friend of a friend had a cat named Snack."
"Eventually, Snack had a few too many snacks, and they started calling him Meal."
Sounds Like a Big Boy
"A French bulldog called Tankerbell."
A Fair Question
"Between Chairman Meow and Benito Meowsolini, uh, there are a lotta cats with dictator names. What's next, Meowseph Stalin? Kitler?"
"Then again, cats are all wannabe dictators..."
Not only are some of these names hilarious, but these pet owners were on high creative alert when they named their furry loved ones.
Whether or not to bring children into the world is a very personal decision.
While there are many arguments as to why anyone should, or shouldn't have children, it's not a decision for other people to make for you.
Some people dream of being a parent since they were children themselves, and can't wait to shower their own children with love.
While others always dreamed of having children, but for one reason or another, it simply never worked out.
Then there are those who never saw children as part of their life plan and don't feel any kind of void without having children in their lives.
"Why don't you have kids and/or do not plan on having kids?"
Don't Want Them Enough
"I just don't feel like I want it badly enough, and one should really want to have a child in order to be able to give their 100% as a parent, every child deserves that."- SignificantFunny1523
Prefer A Good Night's Sleep
"I love sleep."
"I get up when I'm being paid to get up but otherwise my great and immediate joy is sleeping until I don't feel like sleeping anymore."
"I much prefer sleep to children."- DamnIGottaJustSay
How Long Have You Got?
"Why do I plan not to have children?"
"'unrolls a list that's miles long...'"- HagBasket
"This curse ends with me."- DaveTheRoper
Too Short A Fuse...
"Don’t have the patience for kids."- Leoimirmir
When Weighing The Pros And Cons...
"I don't see the upsides."- igna92ts
Plain And Simple
"I don’t want to be a parent."
"That’s a perfectly valid reason."- AllyriaCelene
"Kids are great if you don’t like money or sleep."- ComplicationOnRS
"Clean house, financial comfort, ability to travel/leave the house whenever we want to."- Dear-Cockroach4589
Knowing What's Best For Yourself
"The whole process seems incredibly painful and difficult."
"I'd f*ck my kids up."
"I have a fearful-avoidant attachment style as a result of my toxic parents."
"I wouldn't be able to properly parent."
"I'm incredibly inpatient and would change my mind 3 months in, if I even made it through the whole pregnancy.'
"I want freedom."
"Having kids means being available and responsible."
"I am not and will not be these things."
"I wanna live for me, live to enjoy life, and I most definitely won't enjoy having kids."
"The world is overpopulated and f*cked."
"I don't see any point in bringing more people to this world."
"I have more reasons but these are my top 5."- mayo_nnais3
"Because I am scared of being a bad parent."
"I can't bring a life in this world just to screw it."
"Thanks for f*cking me up Narc dad."- WaywardRoads
"To quote Homer Simpson 'aww I have 3 kids and no money. I wish I had 3 money and no kids'."
"I like my lifestyle."
"I am starting a 'college fund", but instead of paying for a 3-year degree I’m going to blow it on a looooonnngggg vacation."- timberwolf0122
"Cost of raising a kid, and the lifelong stress of raising a kid."- Typical_Conclusion_5
There are those who might call people selfish for not wanting children for the reasons listed above.
Perhaps these reasons are selfish, but on the other hand, they know they would not be able to give a child the attention, love, and support they would need.
It's the people who know this and have children anyway who might be considered the selfish ones.
People Explain Which Piece Of Information They've Learned That Almost Feels Illegal To Know
Everyone loves a juicy secret or insider knowledge.
From knowing about a secret love affair happening between colleagues to understanding how to cheat the system when booking a table at a hot restaurant.
There are times, however, when holding onto a valuable piece of knowledge comes with a fair share of stress.
Indeed, sometimes knowing something which isn't common knowledge to everyone feels like it could get you in pretty serious trouble.
Almost as if the simple act of knowing what you do was illegal.
"What piece of information did you learn, that feels illegal to know?
"Sometimes you can play around with URLs and find clean copies of watermarked previews."
"Helps a lot when trying to learn a song that you don’t have sheet music for."- funkycat75Sheet Music Animation GIFGiphy
Not Illegal To Know, But Possibly Illegal To Use
"You can order maintenance keys on Amazon for most models of coin op laundry machines."- Reddit
"You can buy many keys online."
"Among them are:"
"There's the Ford fleet keys, which can get you into cops cars."
"There's firefighter and maintenance elevator keys which let you control elevators."
"You can turn them off, or turn it to fire evacuation mode (it just goes to main floor and is then unusable) and even firefighter/maintenance mode which the elevator will only go where you want it to go.''
"It won't stop at other floors to pick up other people."
"Keys for bulldozers, backhoes, and other heavy equipment."
"Often one key will open many models from the same manufacturer."
"There's also something called a Lishi Tool."
"It can be used to pick locks, but it's also set you to tell you the position of each pin in the lock."
"That allows you to have another key cut from code (useful if you lose your keys and don't want to replace the whole lock.)"
"And of course, handcuff keys."
"I've used a real handcuff keys in toy cuffs, so I'd imagine toy keys could work in real handcuffs."
"Generally these would all be legal to own (except the Lishi which is a type of lockpick and has various legalities around the US.)"
"All you need is an internet connection, a credit card to pay for it and an address to send it to."- David2022Wallacediy colour GIFGiphy
I Mean, They Weren't Going To Use Them...
'If you go to the plant section of a store and walk around, you will likely find a few clippings on the ground."
"You can pick those up and take them home with you and stick them in some dirt and illegally download a plant for free."- periyyas
Can Delete The File, Not The Info
"One time I received an email from my boss with an attachment that he clearly didn’t mean to send."
"It was an Excel file showing the compensation of everyone in my extended department."
"I gawked at it for a few minutes before he showed up at my desk."
"He made me delete it while he watched.'
"He couldn’t delete it from my brain though."- DWright_5shift gmail GIF by Product HuntGiphy
Good To Know, I Guess?
"If you use a natural gas then fire fighters will think it was a gas leak whereas if you use something like gasoline, it leaves identifiable burn marks."- Crash_Junior-
A Helpful Glitch
"Doesn't seem to work anymore, but there was a restaurant chain app that I realized that after I had used rewards points that gave me $6 off one of my orders."
"My usual order was about $12, so about half off."
"I then noticed next time if I selected re-order previous order it would still include that $6 off every time, even though I had nowhere near the rewards points to keep getting that amount off, it just copied all the specifics of the previous order."- turkeysandwich1982
"En passant."- Normal_Public3520Chess GIF by NETFLIXGiphy
Always Look For The Loophole
"In Australia, no electrical apprentice can work within 600mm of green domes ( where houses are connected to underground power) but you can work as close as you want if you don't have any electrical license."- thorpie88
When You're Dealing With Something Bigger Than The Law...
"Jury nullification is something every U.S. citizen should know about."
"Disseminating information about it could actually lead to charges being pressed in certain circumstances, so it kinda is illegal at times."- Mrgoodtrips64
When You Don't Feel Like Paying
"You can just create a new email and extend your trial limit."- HolyFire-Giphy
...Make Friends With A Gardener?...
'In Brazil, it's not illegal to consume and grow hallucinogens mushrooms though it's illegal to sell them."- MuriloJCD
It's always exciting to hold on to secrets or privileged information.
And all the trouble it has the potential to get you into might make it only more exciting.
When I first started interviewing for jobs, I was under the impression that job interviews only go badly if the candidate is unprepared. I was wrong.
I walked into an interview for a staff writer position at a company. As part of the interview, they had me create written pitches for three blog ideas. In addition to pitches, I had to provide writing points.
I left feeling good about the interview and thought my blog pitches were top-notch. I was, at least, right about that part.
After I made several attempts to follow up, I noticed my exact blog pitches on the company’s website. They didn’t even bother to change the grammar. My writing points were fragments, but the company just copy and pasted them, word-for-word, using my pitch as a title.
Then they told me the position was filled. I felt used. I’m still not sure if there was a position available or if they just brought people in to lessen their workload.
According to Redditors, this type of thing happens a lot. Sometimes even worse things happen during an interview. It seems Redditors have gone through all kinds of horrible interview experiences, and are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor itsPatrii_ asked:
“What happened in your worst job interview?”
“I applied for a particular position in a sporting goods store. It was for the hockey/skates section.”
“The manager posted the wrong position, it was supposed to be in a department I know nothing about. She got mad at me because it was apparently my fault that she messed up on the job ad. Like actual mad saying I was wasting her time and this and that.”
“Had something similar. Internship at the governor's office while I was in college. I wanted to work with the judicial nomination committee, applied just for that. Get there, and that internship was actually already full, but she never notified me beforehand. She let me interview on the spot for something else, showed me the list of what was available, and I selected the constituent services office.”
“We start the interview and she asks me all these questions about the governor’s policy positions, which I’m not 100 percent familiar with. She scolds me for being unprepared, so I remind her curtly that this wasn’t even the internship I had applied for and that I WAS prepared to interview for the judicial committee, and that SHE didn’t warn me that it was already full until I got there, so how I could be prepared to interview for something else randomly? She mumbled something like, “oh yeah, right…”
“I got the internship. It was good, but citizens can be nuts.”
The Phone Keeps Ringing
"Reading these, mine is pretty tame, but here it goes:
I had an interview for a sales position at a life insurance company. I show up and it's actually a group interview - huge red flag there. One person audibly says "f*ck this sh*t" and walks out 10 minutes in. I want to do the same but I'm polite so I stick it out and then leave at the end without saying anything.
2 days later they call back and ask me if I want to come in for an interview. I assume they mean a follow up interview, and I decline and say I wasn't interested. 2 days later they call me again for the same thing. Eventually I realize they aren't asking me back for a 2nd interview, they are so disorganized and their turnover is so high that they don't realize they are calling the same people over and over again. This goes on every couple of days for 2 weeks before the calls finally stop."
Age Is Just A Number
"I sat down, and these two women stared at me. Finally one of them said, "We thought you were younger." (I am in my 60s). After she said this, she got up and left."
"The other one (turns out she is the manager), was rude and cold, tossed a few questions at me, then got on her cell phone."
"I finally said, "Look if we're done here, (she was staring at her desk, ignoring me), I have another interview." I left."
"Later, I reported both of them to the district office. District manger said, "We've had many reports about her.""
"The manager got fired. I was offered another interview. Declined."
We Just Need Your Help
"It's was for a software engineering position. The entire interview was focused around solutioning for a very specific problem. Was about 45 mins of the interview team saying things like "That won't work, we tried that already.""
"Left the interview without getting a solution to the problem. On the way out, I spoke with HR about what the potential next steps in the interview process were. She informed me they already filled the position, but didn't cancel any of the scheduled interviews."
"I was brought in to solve problems the team couldn't solve. For free."
"I got flown out for a job in Minnesota. Interview seemed to be going very well. Was there all day and they asked me what I thought were a lot of hypothetical questions. At the end of the interview they asked me to do a case study for them as part of the interview process. I went back home to NY and did the case study the next day. Didn't hear anything from them for a week and decided to reach back out. The response I got from the recruiter was that they liked my solutions for the case study but they seemed too "extreme" for their problem. I responded that I thought this was a hypothetical scenario and if they actually had this problem. The recruiter told me it was in fact a real problem they were having and that they wanted outside ideas."
"So... there was never any job? The recruiter said that if any of the candidates ideas panned out they may consider offering them a position. I felt used. They misrepresented themselves and took my ideas free of charge with the allure of possibly getting a position within the company. Is it a grey area of fraud? Is it actual fraud? I don't know but I was pissed and wrote the recruiter, the hiring manager, the SVP of HR and the CEO of the company a pretty harsh letter about their behavior."
People Can Be So Rude!
"Fell down the stairs when I was being shown around the building. Ended up breaking both fibula, a few bones in each foot, tearing some ligaments and cracking my tailbone. This happened in September and I'm still in pain."
"After the fall, I sat at the bottom of the stairs crying for about 15 minutes and finally managed to pull myself up. The woman showing me around said "So does this mean you don't want the rest of the tour?""
"They just left you there for 15 minutes, crying in pain? Didn’t bother calling for help? What the hell? And how tone deaf is that person to even ask if didn’t want the rest of the tour. Jfc"
No One Works For Free
"We'd evaluate your performance for a month then you'll start getting payment from second month"
"I'll start evaluating the salary for a month and then I'll come to work for the 2nd month if I like it."
"Logged onto a scheduled zoom interview for a highly paid position. Someone was also logged in, waiting. I assumed this was my interviewer. Nope. They were also waiting to be interviewed. Okay…. So we’re competing for the position? Cool, I guess. 4 more people proceed to log on, waiting for their interview. Never done a group interview before but was ready. It was awkwardly silent between us all. About 15 minutes go by… no one is logged in to interview us. 30 minutes in, we all start conspiring that one of us is secretly the interviewer and conducting a social experiment. Nope, we all just got scammed. Logged off."
"Group interviews usually mean MLM"
"My background: I’m an Iraq war Army Veteran. Shortly after returning home to civilian life, I had an interview. Interviewer made a comment after seeing Army on my resume that she hoped I understood that if an issue arises at work that I can’t just go war mode and shoot the place up. I was appalled someone would even say something that stupid to me. I literally just stood up and told her to interview someone else and left. Looking back I bet she didn’t think it was her audacious comment, but that I actually would have some crazy reaction and walked out."
"Should have gone into war mode."
"Not me, but a guy interviewing to join my team was so nervous he passed out, faceplanted on the table, and ended up with a nosebleed. We didn't hire him."
"A long, long time ago, fairly fresh out of college, pounding the pavement in Manhattan, looking for work, probably office work but doing anything. I was interviewing at a direct marketing company. “Now, you know what direct marketing is, right?”"
"“Yeah, I said. “That’s what’s called junk mail, right?”"
"He paused for a minute and said, “Well, that’s not what we call it.”"
"It was a short interview."
"I got a nose bleed. Gushed all over the conference table and down my blouse. Ran to the bathroom and after the bleeding stopped they wanted to continue the interview. So there I was with blood stains all down my shirt and blood all over the table. 🤦🏼♀️"
Well, That Went Well
"Went in for an interview for a writing job. The guy started asking me if I would do sales stuff as well and I said I didn't really have any experience in sales. He told me to hold on a minute and left the room. I sat there for a while and realized he wasn't coming back so I got up and left. As I was leaving he was standing outside the door smoking. He said sorry you aren't hired."
That's The Way To Make An Exit!
"She started to gossip about all the other employees, about 5 others. She told me a lot. I ended up taking the job and had to quit thee days later because she made the workplace miserable. As I left I told everyone the stuff she said about them and two others walked out with me. It was awesome."
Take It Off!
“They asked me to take off my shirt to prove I didn't have gang tattoos, I walked out without saying another word.”
“Um yeah, asking someone to remove their clothes in an interview at all is crazy.”
“*Silently mouths the words: "I'm wearing a wire - the FBI wants to raid you" while vigorously pointing at my chest”
I think I just lost all faith in humanity.
These Redditors cannot be alone. Do you have any crazy stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.