Taking chances is hard, especially if you don't guarantee the outcome. Fear of the unknown can cause you to hesitate. Sometimes, though, it can pay off big time. Hearing about others success stories can be all the motivation you need.
Reddit user, u/Mckaos, wanted to know about those times when risk matched the reward when they asked:
What is your biggest/most recent "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" moment?
It Could Lead To Your Future CareerGiphy
Two years ago, I applied to a super competitive master's program. I didn't have the grades or anything, but took a chance. Ended up getting in after being placed in the waitlist. I graduated and I'm now preparing for my boards... anything is possible
Spousal Support For The Win!Giphy
My biggest (not most recent) was when I got rejected from the nursing program at my local university. Wasn't good enough for nursing, which is very competitive to get into, but they offered me a spot in the faculty of science. I was going to decline.
My husband encouraged me to use the opportunity to work towards my lifelong dream. So we scrounged up the deposit to secure my spot and despite having a couple of very young kids at home, I threw myself into full time studies and earned really good grades from the get-go.
This spring I graduated from medical school and am currently having an absolute blast in residency.
Wasn't good enough for nursing, but I'm a pretty decent doctor so far. :)
You Won't Know Until You AskGiphy
Worked up the guts to let my employer know I need more time off work to take care of a family member. I'm really non confrontational so I was really worried about it.
Currently watching baseball with my dad at home
A Shot To Start It AllGiphy
My biggest was when I saw this cute girl at a resort bar in the Florida Keys, I wedged myself in next to her to order a drink and started a conversation.
We're married 26 years as of earlier this month.
Any more recent shots pale in comparison.
The Secret? Banana BedGiphy
There was this girl that I kind of fancied for a while from high school (A few years ago), and then one day just decided to talk to her and whatnot; got into a great rolling conversation that lasted days, and I did end up bragging about my Banana Bread. That lead to her wanting to come over to see if it was that good, and we just hit it off even better in person and she liked my Banana Bread and we've been dating for almost 9 months now.
When Probability Is On Your Side...Giphy
On a school trip to the local community college for their "Business Leadership" day, I signed up for every single test (they had prizes) and ended up winning a full-ride scholarship despite only having 1/2 a year of Accounting I under my belt.
Sometimes, A Cold Call Can Pay Off
Cold contacting a company to see if they had a position available.
They couldnt offer a long term position but the few months I worked there on a short term project gave me enough money to get back on my feet.
Also my unemployment came through after that (where I live it's apparently okay to work temp or part time while waiting for the first payment)
Now i'm financially in a position to take many more shots to improve my life further.
Sometimes, You Just Need To Sit DownGiphy
During my 2L year of law school I went to a lunch meeting in a classroom with probably 120 seats available and only 10 occupied. There was a really beautiful brunette sitting in the very back row alone. While it would have potentially seemed really weird to sit right next to her I decided to give it a shot in the off-chance she might end up interested in me. We started talking, introduced each other, and ended up grabbing lunch. Two years later I'm looking at engagement rings for that same beautiful brunette.
Reach Out To PeopleGiphy
Called an old buddy of mine in LA about a job, unhappy with where I currently am. Ask and you shall receive, I suppose. I am moving 3,000 miles away for an excellent job with an excellent company.
A Life-Changing PowerPoint
Not recent, but my best case of taking a shot. When I was in 6th grade I was a chubby little need that wore Marvin the marcian shirts. My first day at my new school I saw this cute emo girl but was too scared to talk to her. One day in the computer class I had with her we got an assignment to make a PowerPoint on sh-t we like, pretty much telling everyone about you. I was scared to talk to her so I just put some metal music my brother showed me in my PowerPoint. It worked though, she came over and started talking to me about the music. We've been best friends for 6 years now, even through all our moves we still text a lot, not as often as we used too, but that's to be expected considering we have a lot more responsibilities now.
Successful Slide In The DMsGiphy
Found an old crush from middle school on IG months ago. Always thought she was out of my league, I hit her with a smooth DM and now shes my gf =)
Inked By The Great
I really wanted a tattoo from a well-known tattoo artist in Copenhagen, but figured it would never happen in a million years. A friend told me to cut the sh-t. I reached out to the artist and it looks like I'll be tattooed by him in 2020 (my year choice, he's not booked that far yet).
All It Takes Is A Single Phone CallGiphy
Lady came into my store and tells me she's the new bank manager in the area. We talk and I eventually reveal I also do real estate. She tells me she has three houses for sale for about 160k. I tell her I will drive by and look at them, they looked ok and I told her I could make an offer in six months or so when I had some money freed up. She comes in a week later with her phone in her hand saying she actually has a total of ten houses she's trying to sell. She thinks they are all in terrible condition, I do flips and can tell they need about 10k in cosmetic work. She just wants to get rid of them so she says she's about to send an email to a guy to sell them all for 250k total. I tell her I will buy them cash by the end of the week for that amount. I call my dad as I know he's on the market, he freaks out and gets some money together. He signs and purchases them by the end of the week, then surprises me by giving me a 10% stake as a finder's fee.
Now I get about $350 a month for making one phone call.
Starting On The Path To Better WaysGiphy
I guess I'm in the process of figuring out if the shot is worth it...
After a disheartening meeting with HR about my pay, I angrily went back up to my office and applied for school. I literally went to the local colleges website, pulled up its report on new grads, and picked something that looked promising. Applied because I realized I was never going to be properly financially rewarded working for a non profit in social services. The non profit I work for is generally good and while I was upset with the meeting, I realized no one else was going to pay me what I was worth.
The program I applied for was competitive and I didn't think I'd get in and if I did get in I probably wouldn't go... well sh-t, I got in. Even then I waffled on paying my deposit because I thought I'd never have the courage to quit my job and go back to school. Thought about it and figured I needed to take a shot. I'm not happy with my career and if I'm going to do this, now is the time.
Anyways I quit my underpaid job last week. I go back to school in the fall.
Defying Your Parents
I've loved drawing for pretty much all of my life, but was discouraged from pursuing it as a career due to my parents and other things. I went to college, became a programmer for a few years, and then realized that I wasn't very happy. Eventually, I quit my job and I'm now a freelance artist. I figured, why not, I'm young and I'm allowed to make mistakes. I'd rather think "Oh well, at least I tried!" if I failed than to wonder what my life could've been. After I told people about it, I was really surprised at the amount of support I got from my friends and from people online!
It's scary, but at least I have savings to stay afloat for a while and I'm a lot happier with my life now.
All It Takes Is A Ring PopGiphy
Met the girl of my dreams while backpacking almost exactly 7 years ago. We were both broke and in college, not to mention from different companies. We spoke every night at the hostel and went for a midnight walk with each other almost every night. The day she's leaving we joke about how the only way we'd manage to end up together would be marriage - "you'd only need to get me a ring pop" she says.
A lot of Facebook messages, Skype calls, postcards and even the odd fight later, I finally bought that ring pop.
We are submitting our visa paperwork in 6 weeks and I'm preparing to move across the Atlantic.
Wearing Diapers Out Of ExcitementGiphy
I was applying to one of the most if not the most prestigious college in my state which is know to be crazy expensive with little to no aid. I didn't want to even bother applying because even if I did get in no way in hell would I afford it without being neck deep in debt.
Not only did I get in but I got a scholarship so good to the point that I almost sh-t myself and called the school then and there to confirm that I am not dreaming and this is real.
Still can't believe I will be going there in 3 weeks.
A Father/Son Venture To Get Back Into ItGiphy
For the last few years me and my son have been planning our own business. He's 11 years old so it, naturally, is focused all around candy. Last March I was laid off and sent home with a few months severance. In that time we have finalized our business plan, obtained funding and on Wednesday we are meeting our landlord for the keys to our next store space. It's a dream all of us (wife, daughter, son and I) have had since he was in 1st grade, it's named after him and now we're going to do it. Nervous as all hell but we're taking a shot.
EDIT: A few people have asked so the name of our business is Sweet & Sawyer's Ice Cream and Candy Shoppe. Sawyer is my son and we're based in Fort Worth, Texas.
A Dream Wake Up CallGiphy
Not sure if this counts but here it is anyways. I was working a dead end job at a hotel front desk after getting out of the Navy where I was a diesel mechanic. I got a phone call from a head hunter. I have never had good luck with head hunters but I figured I would give it one more try. I had nothing to lose seeing as I already had a job so I said f-ck it and went along with the process. The job opening was literally my dream job but I figured that I had no shot at it. I went through three phone interviews and one in person interview. I had worked all night right before the in person interview so I went home and went to bed right afterwards. Two hours later I got a phone call offering me the job at a higher salary than I initially asked for.
I start tomorrow morning.
Let me be real for a second.
Every time I listen to Bjork's "Unravel," my heart breaks a bit.
Have you ever listened to it?
It's on Homogenic, her third studio album, and it's incredible, passionate, smartly produced and a great showcase for her stupendous voice.
That song? An emotional rollercoaster, for sure.
There's tons of great music out there, though, and even more sad and gorgeous songs to discover.
People shared their thoughts after Redditor humanbear07 asked the online community:
"What song genuinely breaks your heart everytime you hear it?"
"Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice..."
"There's a few, but the isolated vocal track for Heart's 'Alone' is especially heartbreaking to me. Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice and her emotion really made that band."
Doesn't grow old.
There have been quite a few excellent covers of this one over the years, too.
"The first words give me chills..."
"Most songs by the late Jeff Buckley are sad on their own, and even more devastating in context. But the one that hits me the hardest is his cover of 'I Know It's Over' by the Smiths."
"The subject of the song is up for interpretation no matter what, but Jeff Buckley's premature death adds an element to it that seems to be about his life, whether he planned to or not."
"The first words give me chills the most— they happen after the classic reverby Jeff Buckley intro, the kind Hallelujah fans will be familiar with. He takes his time with this one, like he does with that."
No love for "Lilac Wine"?
It's clearly the best track.
"Ever since my husband..."
"'Merry Christmas, Darling' by the Carpenters. Ever since my husband Tom died in 2012, my heart breaks every Christmas since. We loved Christmas."
Karen Carpenter's voice hits differently when you realize how tortured her life was.
Gone too young.
"My Dad told me..."
"In My Life by The Beatles. My Dad told me when I was a teenager that he wanted it played at his funeral. I still can't listen, and when that day comes and I HAVE TO listen to it to honor his wish, I'm going to be a blubbering mess."
Sounds like you have an excellent relationship with your dad.
"My grandmother died..."
"He Stopped Loving Her Today, by George Jones. My grandmother died almost 20 years before my grandfather, and we played it at his funeral. Just typing this chokes me up a bit."
Songs have even more meaning (sometimes painfully so) when linked to specific moments in our lives, particularly the moments when we've lost people we care about.
"I'm not a Christian..."
"'Bridge Over Troubled Water' by Simon & Garfunkel. Not a Christian, but when I hear it, I understand why people believe."
A beautiful song, and timeless, too.
"My sister's husband..."
"Always on my Mind by Willie Nelson. My sisters husband chose to have it played at her funeral. And yes he was a crappy husband and she died young in a car accident."
Sounds like art imitating life, no?
"He's an amazing songwriter..."
"Jason Isbell has so many it's honestly hard to choose one. Speed Trap Town, Decoration Day, Cover Me Up. He's an amazing songwriter."
I don't know him–it's time to look him up and see how I feel.
"I can already feel tears..."
"One More Light by Linkin Park. I can already feel tears coming to my eyes just by typing this."
Chester Bennington's death was such a shock.
His music lives on.
"My brothers passed away..."
"Simple Man - Lynyrd Skynyrd."
"My brothers passed away in a car accident shortly after coming home from Afghanistan. Reminds me of them every time I hear it."
Sorry for your loss.
Hopefully hearing the song brings you peace.
Hearing a beautiful song can be an immensely moving experience.
And hearing a sad song can, for many people, help them cope with the pain of heartbreak better than they would have otherwise.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Unfortunately, a friendship could really end at any point in life.
Friends grow apart, but also, sometimes, it's just necessary to say goodbye to your relationship with a friend.
Maybe they aren't the right type of friend for you anymore, or maybe something has happened in their lives to make them self-destructive and toxic.
The reasons are many, and they are all sad.
Redditor monarchmondays asked:
"People who have unfriended their childhood friend/best friend, what happened?"
Here were some of those answers.
Bad Looking Out
"I was more-so the one who was unfriended. Was going to be the best man in his wedding. Saw his fiance out with another dude. Like on this dude."
"Told him, he told me I was wrong, Yada Yada. Things got heated. I told him I couldn't be his best man. Some years down the road, he caught her cheating."
"Called me up, asked if I wanted to grab a beer. I went. He apologized. I accepted, but we're still not friends."-TheMotorcycleMan
Friends Don't Control Friends
"He was a pathological liar, manipulative and told all of my most trusted secrets to everyone because he wanted to feel powerful and like he controlled me."
"Haven't spoken a word in 5 years and I have never looked back."-TheDandy9
Sometimes Life Is The Only Thing In The Way
"As soon as I left my hometown and my best friend growing up stayed, we both changed in opposite directions. He assimilated to the local lifestyle, quickly became friends with people he never got along with in school."
"I left, made new friends, found new things I liked. He started a family, I started a career."
"The final straw though was he RSVP'd to our wedding and then just didn't show. No text, no call, no anything. I think he was pissed that I didn't make him my best man after I was his best man, even though it was exactly because he wasn't reliable and made everything about himself that I couldn't do it."
"He caused sh*t at other people's weddings and I just didn't want to deal with what I knew would be inevitable. It did highlight though that growing up I was his best friend as a matter of convenience where I genuinely liked hanging out with him."-porscheblack
It's never fun or happy to lose a friend, but sometimes it's necessary for your healing process.
We've Reached The Point Of No Return
"I haven't unfriended her YET but I'm basically at the point where I'm sick of her drama, pettiness and 'main character syndrome.'"
"Anything that doesn't go her way is taken personally and if you disagree with her (or even have a preference that differs from hers) she will berate you into submission and 'agreement.'"
"And heaven forbid you have a life that doesn't consider her wants and desires. We're both 30, almost 31. I'm too old for that sh*t."-Deezus1229
When The Punches Come, I Go
"I met my ex-best mate in school, he had a little narcissistic personality, but I understood that and ignored his faults."
"In late Teens, we started drinking and partying as most do; this is when it became apparent that he had alcohol problems, forever being violent looking for fights, killing my good vibes, and getting me pulled into unwanted situations where I saved him or stopped him from beating on someone for no good reason."
"Throughout our life, he never attempted to fight me. He remained a pretty good friend to me until our first trip overseas to Asia; during our trip, he tried to coward punch me in the back of the head because I asked him to put out his cigarette that he had just lit."
"I asked him because we were seated in a restaurant surrounded by families, for some reason that angered him, I got up to leave and luckily heard him coming and avoided his punch, but he then tried to attack me further, which ended with us both on the ground and me on top of him while he shouted and went crazy."
"Eventually, police arrived and pointed a gun at both of us; luckily, they didn't shoot. Having foreign police aiming at me because my friend wouldn't calm down was one of the most scary moments in my life and that's saying something because I don't come from a easy upbringing."
"He was drunk, of course, and claims he doesn't remember, but there's no excuse to try and coward punch anyone, especially your best mate."
"I packed my bags that night and left our joint holiday plans in the dirt, traveling solo and having a blast. When I got back from my trip, I quit drinking myself and have remained sober for the last five years."
"Throughout that five years, I've had brief encounters with him, but our friendship was never the same. Unfortunately, my old friend never changed as he aged; he eventually went to jail."
"I work in hospitals and have seen him show up to the emergency triage, bashed with broken bones, and just a few months ago, he randomly knocked at my door where my wife answered, he was covered in blood."
"My wife went and woke me up; he had a stab wound and refused to go to the hospital; I drove him home and haven't seen or spoken to him since.. His brother updated me and said he was fine, whatever that means."-King-Callous
When He's A Predator
"I, a 5th grader at the time, knew this chick who was in the 7th grade dating a junior in hs. The dude thought she was 16 because she was lying about her age."
"They had been f**king and sexting and all that jazz...he didn't know she was a minor. I went and told him, and they broke up, and he was pissed... yada, yada yada..."
"They became friends again after a few years. When I was in the 8th grade, she called just so he could flirt with me 🤮. I was 13 then, and he was probably around 20. I blocked her real quick."-Cancerous0713
The End Of An Era
"Inseparable all through jr and HS. We graduated in 85 so no social media but I still feel ghosted. He stopped returning my calls, I always had to initiate and when we did get together he wasn't that interested."
"I gave it a few tries but I got the message and just stopped contacting him and he never reach out to me after that. I never new why and it took almost 10 years for me to get over it and stop thinking about it every day."
"I kind of wish he would have just told me he doesn't like me anymore. I have a current best friend I met in college and we've been friends for 30+ years so it's all good."-DreamArcher
There is never a right time to say goodbye to someone you once considered a trusted friend.
"My best friends young son was killed in a four wheeler accident. I was the first responding paramedic. I had to take him from my friends arms to work on him. Knowing he was dead the all along."
"We flex the child on Lifeflight then I drove my best friend and his wife to the hospital. I knew all along he was dead but they didn't. It wasn't his fault or mine that he died in any way but I could never look my best friend in the eye again."
"All I could see was his pain. So we drifted apart. I finally got to tell him and his wife before my friend died with heart trouble."-hotandhornyinbama
Secret Mental Health Leeches
"She started being nasty to my husband when we got engaged. It was so gross. She was snarky and rude to him every time he spoke and made him feel unwelcome in our own home."
"I kind of fell out of friend love with her after watching her behave like that. My mom thinks it was jealousy or something, idk. My husband is the most fun and caring person I've ever known, I expected her to be happy for me."
"In retrospect, I realized there were a lot of other red flag issues I had been ignorant of. It's been 3 years now and I am so much mentally healthier without the drama she was churning up."-ThunderHeavyRains
When Mom Damaged Her
"Had a friend I met pre-kindergarten but had a falling out in middle school. Families knew each other and we were like sisters. But sadly, her mom was a true definition of a Tiger mom. Her mom always pushed my friend to be in all of these extracurricular activities, music lessons, tutoring, etc. Her mom was always dissatisfied; nothing was good enough."
"She wasn't the most nurturing parent. But my parents were the opposite. Especially my mom, she just wanted me to be a good person and do my best. But naturally I was a very good student."
"So my friend's mom would always compare my friend to me saying I was better than her because I was naturally gifted and didn't NEED all of that help. My friend began to resent me."
"Throughout puberty, she would call me a slut because I was physically developing, tried to imply I was ugly just to see my reaction, threatened to punch me, things I understood where they were coming from but did not think were justified as I had not done anything directly to her."
"Final straw was when she posted on Facebook that she thought I was ugly so I just cut her off completely. I pitied her for her family life but her bitterness toward me was wrong. Because through my eyes, she was my best friend and all she wanted to do was hurt me. Don't regret cutting it off"-dookieconductor
The sad truth is that people are not always meant to be close, and that some people are too mentally unhealthy to have any kind of closeness in their lives.
Until they grow up, there is not much we can do but sadly step aside and take care of ourselves.
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Certain personalities show up at almost every party like clockwork.
There's always that person who get's too drunk, someone awkwardly standing in the corner nursing a drink, the person who's not having a good time no matter what and the person babysitting the crowd they came with.
When there's alcohol—or any other substances—and the pressure of a social situation, all sorts of quirks will come out. We wanted to know what people thought their country would act like if they were a person attending a party.
Redditor amotyvukufyd asked:
"All the countries of the world are at a party. What is your country doing?"
Here are some of the best and most hilarious answers.
The United Kingdom is just leaving.
"Not before slapping the knees and saying 'right.'"
"Northern Ireland looks nervously at her sister before putting her sunglasses on and following."
"As an American from the Midwest, we do a 'welp' knee slap. Then sit/stand for another 25 minutes before leaving."
"Then talk in the porch. Then talk in the doorway. Then talk in the driveway. Then talk out the car window."
"'Yuh, I guess.'"
"'See you around, I suppose.'"
"'Yuh you bet.'"
"Buzz of the window rolling up."
Argentina is in the backyard.
"Argentina is either playing football in the backyard with Brazil or aggressively telling whoever's at the grill how to cook a steak."
"Don't forget, they're also drinking fernet and coke, or even cheap wine and juice, out of a cut off bottle even though there were enough glasses for everyone."
"While listening to El Potro Rodrigo."
"For sure we're arguing with Texans over asado."
"Texas would also totally be there despite not being a country itself."
"Texas showing up to a party where only entire nations are invited is such a Texas thing to do."
Greece is making questionable choices.
"I'm Greek so I guess a lot of sex, wine and questionable financial decisions that will ruin us the morning after."
"At least you have your club of friends who will drive you home when you pass out. My country, Argentina, will spend the night borrowing money. When they finally kick him out, he'll have to walk home, broke and alone. And it will start to rain."
Poland fighting with Russia, Belarus, and Ukraine.
"Poland. In the corner with Russia, Belarus and Ukraine, drinking vodka and fighting each other. Poland fighting Belarus and Ukraine fighting Russia."
"With some EU guys walking by with fancy drinks, dropping some concerns."
"And then Russia says 'Oh, you want some too?' And the EU guys turn and walk away."
"Then hours later writes a strongly worded comment to Russia's Facebook page. After spending 8 hours arguing over the exact wording."
Germany brings the beer.
"I'm German and I'd say Germany would complain about the taste of the beer."
"Germany should be bringing the beer. Please don't leave it to America who will bring some watery Coors Light!"
"Wouldn't they discuss politics too?"
"We so would! I was thinking about what we would do what wasn't absolutely cliché (like bringing the beer). I feel we would not only discuss politics but also rant about it. And other stuff. I feel ranting is really something we like to do. But also Germany would be drinking way too much and be completely fine the next morning..."
India is awkwardly dancing.
"India/that uncle dancing inappropriately in the middle of the dance floor."
"Not gonna lie, they got da best moves though."
"I was gonna say India would be that aunty gossiping about and judging others' outfits/looks, but this one is better."
The USA is just destroying things for fun.
"USA. Chugging beers and trying to smash a foldable table by jumping on it."
"I think the US would be like a really obnoxious frat dude that's also kinda fun. Like waaaay over the top bragging... but also did bring the weed. Then word gets around that he has a gun on him and it makes everyone uncomfortable, but he says it's just cause Russia and China are packing too."
"I figure we'd also be the one who obnoxiously insists on 'defending' every girl in the party- whether the girl wants it or not. Lots of 'do you wanna go?' energy, then trying to clean up any mess we make but just doing the absolute worst job of it while staying way, waaay too long after the party is over."
"We'd also get mad at China for stealing our famous brownie recipe even though we asked them to make it for us."
We aren't sure we want to be invited to that party.
Sounds like there's gonna be a lot of drama.
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Irrespective of men's sexual identity or preference, there are men who hate sports, and there are men who love musical theater. Do participating in either activity make men straight or gay?
"Straight men of Reddit, what is the strangest thing you have been told not to do because 'that's gay?'"
The following behavior just screams, "gay," fellas. Watch out.
"Sing a Lily Allen song during karaoke."
"Advice I received in high school from other students:" "Don't cross your legs with one knee over the other. Put one ankle over the other knee." "When carrying books, palm them and carry them at your side. Don't rest one edge of the books near your waist." "Never button the top button of your shirt."
Look, But Don't Look
"This one time, at summer camp, this guy who'd just been swimming in the lake told me you could tell how cold the water was by how hard his nipples were. 'But don't stare too long,' he said, 'because that's gay.'"
"You were the one who told me to look in the first place!"
Sandwich For Sissies
"When I was a kid, my dad called me a sissy because I cut a sandwich diagonally."
"I played the clarinet. I got called Faginet a lot."
"But that's one women do," one might argue.
"Changing my daughter's diaper. Mentioned it in the office one day. Called gay."
A Lighter Shade
"Buying a white IPhone."
"Added my husband (then boyfriend) to my phone plan. Went to the store on my own to upgrade both our phones. We both just wanted the next gen Samsung. It was only available in purplish-pink in store."
"I shrugged and said it didn't matter, he's putting a case on it anyways. Guys working at the store kept trying to talk me out of it, actively pushing me to go to another store, making them lose commission, just so my partner wouldn't have a feminine phone. He used his pink phone for 3 years."
"I've been criticized for knowing how to sew and cook. Those are essential life skills!"
"My father was a Marine drill instructor in the 50's. Guess who did all the sewing in my house growing up?"
"Yeah, no one dared to call him gay for it."
Here are examples of guidelines for being a manly man, according to manly men.
"Not a straight man but... back in my bartending days I asked a man if he wanted to see a dessert menu. He said 'if I wanted dessert I'd order wings like a real man.'"
"Weird flex but okay."
When I'm In The Mood, I Masticate
"When I'm feeling extra manly, I just take a bite out of a cow and then chew on some raw wheat."
"Like a man."
No Appointments Necessary For Straight Men
"I left a pick-up basketball game because I had an appointment to get a haircut. Evidently, the only straight way to get a haircut is as a walk in."
Abiding By The Law Is So Gay
"Using turn signals. And not as some sort of euphemism, but literally using them while driving to turn or change lanes."
In grade school, some fellow classmates asked me to check for gum on my shoe because they saw me step in some.
When I lifted my leg to take a gander, the boys were howling hysterically as if my actions confirmed something.
Well, it sure did. Apparently, if I l looked at the bottom of my shoe from in front of me, I was "normal," but since I bent my leg back and looked at the bottom of my shoe from behind, that made me "so gay."
Although, I didn't come out 'til years later, maybe those goons were onto something. Thanks for the heads up, guys.
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