Long beautiful locks are something I've always wanted to have. In fact, a few years back I tried to grow out my hair, but it was a disaster. It took a year to grow three stringy inches.
I've always thought that dudes with glorious manes had it made. But apparently they suffer from "identity" issues, not of their own making. Let's discuss...
Redditor u/mistermika06 wanted all the boys out there to share a few tales of mistaken identity by asking:
Long-haired men on reddit, what are the weirdest encounters where someone has mistaken you as a woman?
I've never mistaken a gender from behind. I also don't just assume anything until I have a full profile. Remember when Brad Pitt sported those gorgeous blonde waves of Heaven? There was no mistaking him from behind.
Not Again
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"I was washing my hands in a public restroom and an old man walked in an said "Oh sorry Miss" and scurried out before opening the ladies room and I heard him yell "OH not again." Maybe not the most weird but I could not stop laughing."
- HaV0C
Hey Sexy
"Years ago I was cat called by a passing car of bros who yelled, "nice butt!" I wasn't built back then like I am now, but younger, skinnier me still had a damn dumptruck."
"This has been my fear recently. I over developed my lower body a few years ago so everything below the waist is seriously built. I haven't had a haircut since before the pandemic and add a mask covers my facial hair I notice I get looks from men and women when I walk into stores."
Back in the Day
"Back when I was 10 or something, I was in the local YMCA swimming pool minding my own business. Suddenly these two girls maybe 3 or 4 years older than me ask "excuse me, shouldn't you be wearing a shirt or something?" Then they heard my voice when I responded, and started cracking up, as did I."
Learning Lessons
"Someone grabbed my butt at the bar in a nightclub. I'm 6'3 and have pretty broad shoulders so I'm not sure how drunk they were to make that mistake, just cause I have longish curly blonde hair. I turned around and he apologised and said he thought I was a girl as if that would have somehow been ok. Opened my eyes to the kind of harassment women must get all the time at a club."
bad spin
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"I was in college at a party. Hair down, was wet from a shower. Some frat dude walked up behind me, grabbed me by the butt and spun me around. "You want a piece of this!?" Was the first thing that came out of my mouth. To this day I've never seen a more horrified moron."
Best Excuses For Late Assignments That Were Actually True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
kiss off...
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"Opposite problem. The time there was some woman, who had hair exactly like mine, sitting on a park bench. I had wandered off somewhere and my wife, thinking it was me, came up behind her and decided to give her a big kiss on the top of the head."
Cut It
"I had long hair at 15-17 because my older brother did and his hot gf was always gushing about how hot it was and not enough guys had long hair. Got mistaken for a girl twice. Once at a petrol station the guy gave me change and winked while saying "here you go sweet heart". He was totally hitting on me!"
"Then a few days later when delivering pizza to a family the kid looks at me all confused and says "Mummy is that a boy or a girl?" The mum says "That's impolite". Then after the door closes I hear the kid say "ok but WAS it a girl or a boy?" The mum replied " I really don't know." Cut my hair the next day."
"My brother had a photo of me from that time on display for a couple years. He told me some of his friends asked if I was one of his old girlfriends. I was greatly offended until I actually saw the photo in question and holy crap I definitely looked like a girl! Thankfully he lost that photo and other photos from that time aren't so bad."
"ARE YOU TALKIN' TO ME?"
"At our high school we had an ultra strict rules lawyering woman who monitored the halls and would stop people constantly for anything and everything. Was walking down the halls in high school when I got a "Mam", "Mam", "Maam", "MAAM". Finally she grabbed my shoulder. Now, I had a very baritone voice, even back then."
"So I turned around, exaggerating my deep voice even more and gave her the most booming deep "ARE YOU TALKIN' TO ME?" I could muster. She looked utterly deflated. Absolutely 0 energy or fight left in her due to the embarrassment. She very sheepishly said that I needed to cover my book (it ripped literally 15 minutes earlier) and fled the scene with her tail between her legs."
- Dubanx
Mommy!
"Once (when my hair was slightly shorter) I was taking the metro to DC when this kid and his mom got on a few stops after me and sat in the row right behind me. The kid was talking a lot about nothing, as kids tend to do when they first learn to put a full sentence together. I could hear him over my music."
"Then, he starts talking about some "Hey! The girl up there has more hair than YOU, mommy! Look! Look, her hair is longer than yours. You're not looking mommy!" I turned to look out the window as we exit a tunnel, then he says, "WHOA! She's a Boy."
"Never mind, mommy!" I locked eyes with the mom who just laughed and told the kid to sit and be quiet for a while."A few minutes later, he asks his mom how boys can grow longer hair than girls to which mom says "I don't know, but I can always buy some more hair if I want it to be longer. I don't always have to grow it all by myself." The kid was stunned."
Hey Dude
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"Dude slapped my butt and called me a fine looking wh**e. So I punched him. I think I'm slightly better looking then just fine. But after that I grew out my beard and no one has slapped my butt again yet."
- Koobitz
1989
"In 1989 I was still getting wavy perms because my Mom liked them. (yeah yeah, Momma's boy) It had just been done and my hair was almost curly. I was driving to Pitt for school and some guy drove up behind me honking and flashing his lights. I pulled over and he jumped out and as he ran up to my car I was opening my door. As I swung my legs out he saw that I was a painfully skinny guy and stopped flat."
"I said, "what's the problem?" He stammered for a second and replied, "I think you have a flat tire!," got back into his car, and drove off. I kicked the tire. It was fine. I had no idea what had happened. I just thought he made a mistake. In retrospect, years later, I often wondered what was really going on. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened that day if I had been a woman."
- raydude
The Duo
"I was young at the time. My mother and I got pulled over for a "investigation" by a well-known less-than-noble officer who liked his women's age on a clock. He asked my mother for her license, proof-of-purchase, and all that good stuff. We exchanged glances, and I saw his disgust as he realized I was a dude. He probably thought we were a mother/daughter prostitute duo, because those were very common in the area. Boy, did he have a surprise."
Hey Lady
"I've been catcalled from cars who only saw me from the back a couple times. Once at a bar a friend and I were at table, a old dude walked past us, again I had my back to him and he said "evening ladies" to which I responded "I'm not a lady". Guy got super embarrassed, we got a kick out of it."
It's Miss...
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"Ma'am? Ma'am? MA'AM! That's the men's room! <pause> Oh my god, I'm so sorry!"
- ErWenn
At the Game
"Alright, so this was way back when I was in High School and had been growing my hair out for a few years now. So to set the scene, me and my family went to a baseball game and my older sister got to bring her boyfriend along with her. Now, after the game, we were all walking back to the parking garage, so big procession of people leaving the stadium with panhandlers everywhere, as you'd expect. That's when one of the panhandlers calls out to my sister's boyfriend, "Hey man, you've got two girls hanging off you, surely you've got some spare change for me."
Even Worse Bro
"My brother was thin and had long hair when he turned 21. He was standing next to the table when a dude walked by and and squeezed a cheek. The grabber realized he was a man and got all freaked out and was like "ahh man. I thought you were a chick. I'm sorry. We told him that still wouldn't be cool even if he were a woman. The bartender "asked" him to leave."
- Redd889
Cafe Days
"Almost 20 years ago I was in a redneck town in the middle of the night with a female friend. We go into this coffee shop and this guy standing in the doorway says all lecherously "Hey ladies!". I say "Evening," and his eyes get huge and he bolts out the door. We go in and this immense man yells out "HE SURE TOLD YOU! HAHAHAHA! We just got our coffee and donuts and got out asap."
That You?
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"Not me, cuz I'm a girl, but once, my aunt saw an old picture of my parents and asked who the ugly girl with my mom was. It was my dad. The picture was taken when they were teenagers."
HER?
"When I was about 13 I had a long muff of hair and a part time job pushing carts at the grocery store. A coworker and I were pushing in a big load of carts and this older dude comes up and says to my coworker "I bet she's making you do all the work!" and then walks away. My coworker turns to me and says "did he just call you a girl?" I was slightly embarrassed but not enough to part ways with that glorified shag carpet."
What have we learned? Basic life lesson 101. Assume Nothing! Know you're addressing the person you believe you're addressing. And men with long beautiful hair are still Gods among men.
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When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.