Not everyone is meant for the water. Certain people should just stay far away from a public pool- they're already germy and full of screaming children. The best solution would just be to get their own pool. Or a kiddie pool. Or just a bathtub. Whatever it is, stay away from the community pool.
u/alipoop asked: Lifeguards of Reddit, what's the weirdest thing you've seen someone do in the water?
Are you serious?
We once had a man come into our pool for lane swim. He had all the latest gear, brand new suit, cap and goggles. He got to the edge of the deck and did some arm circles, adjusted his goggles and dove into the pool.
He popped up for a few seconds then promptly started flailing and gasping for breath. A colleague jumped in and pulled him out immediately. We were all really confused until he told us he had never swam before and he thought it came naturally.
Some people will do anything for attention.Giphy
Fake drowning by a woman who admitted that she wanted my attention. I wanted to drown her.
UNO Reverse card
You know you can buy oxygen, right?
A lady once had an "asthma attack" so we put her on the oxygen only to find out that her oxy saturation levels were at 100%, turns out she just wanted an oxygen high.
Thank goodness she had that life jacket.Giphy
Life guarding was my first job when I was 16.
I watched a little girl around 9-10 years of age dive head first (with a life jacket on) into a kitty pool of about 6 inches.
Needless to say, she smoked her dome and I had to patch up a little cut on her forehead.
We love a witty lifeguard.
Couple having sex in the water -not as fun as you would think though. There's lots of kids around.
We'd yell that "this is a family facility, not a family making facility" and they'd always stop.
Somehow so smart yet so dumb.
On the hottest day of the year when we were short on guards, we paid a guy 5 bucks to s**t in the pool so we could clear it for an hour to clean.
Kids today and their anarchy.Giphy
I worked 3 years as a lifeguard for my local community center. Our place was somewhat unique as we both had an indoor pool and water park, complete with water slide and other such things. There were also containers filled with pool toys and other things like life preservers, life vests, and kick boards.
One day, while I was on break, my supervisor comes running into the break room and tells all of us (there were three of us on break) to come help control a situation in the water park area.
Apparently, one of the summer camps' kids had rallied enough kids together and coordinated them into constructing makeshift rafts with all the pool equipment. By the time we made it out on deck, they had already made a motley fleet of boats pieced together with pool noodles, life jackets, and other floating toys.
The issue however was not that they had macgyvered this little fleet, but how the camp had split into factions and begun an all-out naval engagement in the pool. Pool noodles were now being used as makeshift water cannons, and things only escalated from there.
Some of the kids had broken into our supply closet and found our stash of other water toys (super soakers, water balloons, etc.) and came whooping out onto the deck. A few of the kids made armor out of the kick boards and vests and were wielding the boueys we use for water aerobics like clubs. Others had taken the water balloons to the top of the water slide and we're lobbing them off in some crude bid for air superiority. This one girl had taken her camp shirt and tied it to a pool skimmer, waving it like a flag and yelling "FOR THE KING! FOR THE KING!"
It took thirty minutes to regain control of the situation, in which time one of the guards required stitches due to being pistol whipped with a water gun by an overzealous 11 year old.
We never did invite that camp back.
The Strangest Superstitions People Actually Observe | George Takei’s Oh MyyyThe world can be a superstitious place. If you've ever knocked on wood or thrown salt over your shoulder then you've run into one or two throughout your life...
The cycle begins.
I once watched as another guard jumped in then performed a front active rescue. As she pulled the victim up he threw up all over her. Leading her to throw up all over him. And then back and forth. Causing both of them to start drowning. Then I jumped in from the other side did a rear active rescue on my own coworker as another guard saved the original victim.
That can't be comfortable.
I was a lifeguard at a camp, and this Pentecostal church came to stay (about 500 of them). Even in the pool, the boys would wear slacks and a belt. No shirt, but they'd be wearing their tan slacks, and brown belt. Blew my mind.
Not that hunky.Giphy
Was a lifeguard at an indoor apartment pool. One lady was mostly paralyzed on one side. She also could not swim in deep water.
So, lady would do laps in the shallow end, but because of the paralysis, would end up swimming into the deep end where she would promptly panic.
She did this over and over and over. Probably these days (twenty years later) I would ban her from the pool, but I was a teenager at the time who certainly did not want to make any waves, so I ended up making literal waves regularly to save her.
I would suggest that she liked being saved by the hunky lifeguard to deliberately drown herself so regularly, but I'm not that hunky.
I worked at a college pool so we had a standard Olympic sized high dive, I had to tell a kid that was at least 11-12 yrs old not sit under the board and drink the water falling off the people about to jump.
I can't imagine how much a**/foot/b*lls water that kid ingested. It was sick.
Are you sure that wasn't a rabbit in a bikini?
Not really in the water technically but still a head scratcher. Used to work at a very high end gym back in college. You could pay annually ~$1000 or monthly to the tune of about $120.
Had a regular who would come in late afternoons every sat and sun to our outdoor pool. This lady was absolutely stunning. Maybe early 30's and the physique of a super model. Always wore a super tight purple bikini and lounged out on the stone wall encompassing the hot tub. Never actually in the hot tub but would lie on her back along the wall. Made it really hard as a 20 year old male lifeguard to concentrate on the people in the water. Thank god for sunglasses.
It was also hard to remain focused on the other patrons as this lady would proceed to then one-by-one pick the leaves off the shrub next to the wall, eat them, and hold a conversation with herself while staring into the sky.
As the leaves would start to dwindle on that particular shrub over the course of the week, she'd move farther along down the wall and start on the next one. This continued every summer for about 2 years until I left for the military. Wherever you are lady, I hope you're doing well outside of your career calling as a deer or rabbit.
There was also the man who got pissed when we closed the waterslide for the night so he went over to the children's wading section, took a big dump, and ran, fleeing out the side gates. Jokes on you buddy, we got to shut down for the day and got paid to f**k around on my phone in the guard office.
No bricks allowed.Giphy
Late to the party but I was a lifeguard for about 6 years.
About half of my job was telling people, "as a reminder, please do not throw any of the rocks, sand or seaweed at the beach (it's crowded are you serious?!)"
This one guy shouts back, "can I throw bricks?" My out-loud response was to ask if he had any bricks on him at the moment. He insisted he didn't have any on him, but could go out to his truck and get a bunch.
I responded into the megaphone, "as a reminder, please do not throw any of the rocks, sand, seaweed or bricks at the beach".
We both yucked it up a bit and went back to our respective lives.
Worked as an open water lifeguard last year, and worked on a 100m long inflatable assault course.
Throughout the hottest parts of the summer, seaweed would often be found along the edges and safety straps (the course was made out of multiple inflatable obstacles fastened together) and it was our job every morning to clean this. Sometimes spots were missed, as we had about 30 minutes for just one of us (the task ran on a rota, so a different person did it each day) to clean the entire park.
Halfway through one day, a dad and his son find a strap covered in seaweed and jellyfish eggs. Usually people recoil and stay away upon touching the stuff, but instead these two pull the seaweed and eggs off the strap and throw it back and forth at each other for about half an hour. Was weird to watch, and kinda disgusting.
What's that old saying? "Make sure you're always wearing clean underwear in case you're in an accident. What would the medics think."
I'm paraphrasing, but you get it.
That saying can be applied to many aspects of life.
What "surprising" items are hidden in your drawers? Or under you bed?
Or dear Lord... what is on your phone?
We all have ownership over a belonging or six that could cause quite a stir.
Especially if we aren't there to explain it's existence.
Redditor churned_applesauce wanted to hear about all the belongings many of us have that could cause quite a stir.
"What is the most controversial thing you own?"
I'm not telling you mine.
I'm not that brave.
But let's see who is...
"I have an old Iraqi bill with Saddam Hussein's face on it. It's worth about 17 cents according to Google." ~ postsingularityGiphy
"My grandfather went to the World Scout Jamboree in the Netherlands in 1937, and while he was there he traded patches and gear with some scouts from Germany. By 1937, the German boy scouts had transitioned into the Hitler youth, so I own a Hitler youth boy scout uniform with a bunch of swastikas on it." ~ iamagainstit
"My family owns a petrified walrus penis, my grandmother took it to get it identified at the Smithsonian several decades ago. Apparently her grandfather or maybe it was her great-grandfather brought it home after he spent several years on some type of expedition up around northern Alaska and points north."
"It has been loaned out to several museums at different times. The family has talked about selling it but everyone has to agree and so far there is no agreement about selling it. So I own 1/67th of a petrified walrus penis." ~ Robyn_withaY
"When I was 18, I bought a print of a 1918 German zoo advertisement from a thrift store. I thought the artwork was neat. It had a leopard on it and I was completely cat-obsessed at the time. Turns out the artwork was by Ludwig Hohlwien. He would go on to produce Nazi propaganda." ~ wolfmoral
"An ornate, Boer tobacco jar from the 1800s. My great grandfather looted it off a dead militiaman during the Second Boer war." ~ deathtotheminutemenGiphy
Nothing too crazy thus far.
Hey, to each their own.
"I have a glass vial/small bottle of pure histamine. If anyone would be exposed to this they would get a deadly allergic reaction. I have it double sealed." ~ TheRealMonrealGiphy
Holiday in Kenya
"A complete ivory and ebony chessboard bought a sale of confiscated poacher stuff to fund elephant preservation. When I lived in Zambia and was on holiday in Kenya. My dad bought it and I got it as a hand me down. We were friends with someone who owned an animal sanctuary and their security had shot the poachers as far as I remember. They had a parentless baby hippo as well. It stole my sister's chewing gum and tried eating their cat. It was moved further away from the main houses after it tipped over their Land Cruiser." ~ xxrumlexx
"I wanted a chinchilla really badly as a kid, but my parents said hell no. One Christmas my grandma got me a teddy bear made out of chinichilla fur. Luckily my parents told me it didn't hurt the chinchilla its just like getting a hair cut for them, but they were like WTF to my grandma. I now know better and am also like WTF grandma." ~ lebrunjemz
"I have a set of small bone carved snuff bottles from China (dated to the 19C) with explicit images on them. They’re kind of curiosities in themselves but when my in laws separated my MIL called my husband and asked him if there was anything in the house that he wanted and he said, nothing but the explicit snuff bottles."
"She took them and left them with a note that said ‘I’ve left you, please don’t contact me again. I’ve taken the snuff bottles; they were the only things in the house I liked.' After their separation we got all sorts of controversial hoardings, including a suitcase full of ivory and an abundant collection of Enid Blytons first edition books." ~ waireti
"I have a few Ivory jewelery pieces from the early 70s my parents bought back from Botswana, and a poison arrow kit. Mum has the 3-metre long python skin she just put in her luggage from back then too." ~ Icy_HippoGiphy
Who doesn't have cursed or ancient jewels hidden somewhere?
At least nobody on this thread mentioned faces or eyes.
That's what I was waiting for.
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I'll be honest, for most of my life I have had exactly zero daily routine.
The chaos was something of a calling card—but not one that was necessarily good for me.
Spoiler alert, I had a raging case of undiagnosed neuroodivergent shenanigans—and in recent years I've been able to get a better handle on being me.
As a result, a daily routine has sort of developed.
Reddit user Money-Associate1601 asked:
"What’s something you look forward to every single day?"
A few years ago I wouldn't have had an answer to this, but as I read through I suddenly realized that I have one.
Also, that I enjoy it!
Mornings spent relaxing in the hammock before my day gets punted into shenanigans by my kids, my dogs, my job, or some unholy combo of the three have become crucial for my mental health.
Huh. Who knew?
Let's see what Reddit loves about their routines.
Going To Work (!)
"Going to work."
"It sounds strange, but I love it because I'm working with my son. He’s 23. I’m 50. We spend M-F working together building homes. We laugh all day long."
"It’s the happiest time of my life. I know it’s finite, so I’m enjoying it as much as possible while it lasts."
"This hits me(23) so much. My dad (50) gave me a job at his company a year ago and always tells me how proud he his of me."
"Just before Christmas he got sick and almost died. When he got out of the hospital he told me how much he cherished our relationship and how it meant everything to him."
"It makes me emotional every time I read things like this."
"My brother and I did landscaping together on the weekends. We use to complain about it, but after we sold the business I really missed spending time with him."
"What I miss the most is eating lunch together and riding home after a long day."
"Changing out of work clothes and into pajamas"
"My pajamas are my real clothes. Everything else is a facade."
"The best thing about the pandemic: I work from home all the time and I can wear pajamas all the time!"
"Sometimes I get home by 3pm from work and get right into my PJs."
"Even if I’m going out later, I’ll just change out of my PJs when I need to. If I’m home for an hour or longer, I’m in my PJs."
"It’s the only way."
Pick Up Time
"Picking my daughters up from daycare."
"As soon as they see me, they drop whatever they were doing and run to me with the biggest smile on their faces and yelling 'Daddyyy!' "
"The absolute sh*ttiest day at work just disappears in that moment."
"Basically anything to do with my kids. Waking them up for school and hanging out in bed for those 5 minutes in the morning is always so much fun."
"Meeting my daughter off the bus from school. Seeing my son when he gets home from preschool and just wants to play."
"Kids are the best cure for a sh*t day at work."
"My 2 year old screams 'IT’S MOM!!!' in absolute delight every day when I get home from work. Nothing else compares!"
Employee Of The Month
"My baby dog’s big morning stretch. He's actually a senior but he will stay about 5 lbs for forever, so we call him our baby dog."
"Oh! And then watching him go back to sleep in his office bed when I start work. He works so hard. Employee of the month, every month."
"I love working in the morning and then at about 11 am my dog finally gets up. She does her morning back scratches on the carpet and then demands snuggles."
"It's my favorite unscheduled break time that happens daily."
"My cat Ygritte is my supervisor. She works so hard sleeping and making biscuits on blankets/beds/boxes with blankets."
"She yells at me if I stop working, yells at me when it is break time, and starts getting in between myself and my computer 15 minutes before the end of the day."
"She won't stop until I clock out, it is her everyday being like Nahhhhh you done. Pet me instead."
"She is the best boss I have ever had."
"I live at a friends family house. They offered me shelter after I became homeless and every night I go to my car to read."
"I find that reading in my car every night before going to sleep gives this family a chance to get a break from seeing me and I get a chance to be calm and away from everyone."
"They are amazing people and It’s been so fun. I’m so thankful that they let me stay in their living room, but they tend to use it at night to watch a movie or have family time so I take a chance to let them be and I get a chance to learn something and relax in my car."
Fueled By Coffee
"My morning coffee. I get a different coffee every week and drinking it is the most relaxing part of my day."
"I had a Colombian blend last week, this week I got a black roast that is so strong I swear its making me grow a beard."
"I'm up at 5 every morning for 'me time', which you dont get with 3 small kids and making my coffee and staring into space for an hour is amazing."
"Coffee is mine as well."
"I love to get a big-ass black coffee with a little cream, put on a good podcast and chill out for a bit while I wake up. Quite possibly the only thing I consistently look forward to every single day."
"YES! I set up the coffee pot the night before, every night."
"In the morning my husband gets up to start it and crawls back into bed while it brews. When it's ready he puts his robe on and quietly brings me a cup, sets it on my nightstand and goes into the living room to peacefully wake up on his own, staring at his phone."
"In between alarm snoozes I briefly wake up and take a few sips of coffee. After several snoozes, I need a refill and that's usually when I get up to join him. It's such a great way to wake up, I love it so much."
"Some mornings he has to just get up and go off to a job site but no matter how early it is, he brings me a cup of coffee in bed before giving me a kiss and going. He's the best."
"That mid-day text from my husband, asking me if I can please come home early because he and the dogs miss me, usually accompanied by a photo of the 4 of them looking wistfully at the camera."
"It never, ever gets old. So thankful for all of them!"
"Ugh. Mine always wants to know when I’ll be back because he wants something."
"Oh my god I want this. You are so lucky."
"I also want this in my life."
"All I get is calls/messages from scammers or customer service."
Observing This Scene
"The sheer, spontaneous joy my dogs have when my wife gets home."
"I tell them 'Who's home?' Then they hear the garage door opening and know Mommy's Home!"
"Batsh*t-crazy pandemonium ensues until I open the side door of garage. Even cuter, my wife is just as happy to see them, too!"
"Nothing beats observing this scene every day, for 11 years."
"I adopted a little baby potato two years ago. Now he’s a big old spaz and he has an absolute fit with joy whenever daddy gets home from work."
"He’s so excited he can’t even sit still for pets and kisses. Jumping up and down on the furniture, running around in circles, pure happiness."
"I have 30 mins in my day in between work where I just sit on a bench in this park."
"No phone, no earphones, nothing but just me enjoying the sound of birds and whooshing of the trees. Feel most at peace during that time."
"I have recently started doing this towards the end of the day."
"It has started filling me up with peace and enthusiasm. I highly recommend this. Half an hour, daily, setting sun/rising sun, somewhere not too noisy, near water if possible."
"Time like this is essential! Good for you for giving it to yourself!"
"The last 15 years of my working life was running a route, checking into about 235 businesses each month. It kept me very busy, I seldom had time for lunch over 1/2 hour."
"I always thought how nice it would be when I retire, to have time to set down and actually enjoy lunch."
"Fast forward 5 years, I've been retired and now I get one full hour of lunch and reading whatever book has my attention for those 5 days a week instead."
So what have we learned today, dear readers?
The thing most of these Redditors looked forward to was a moment of peace or affection.
Whether it was from a pet, a kid, a book, or a hot cup of coffee it seems people wanted a literal or proverbial hug.
Does that track for you? What's the part of your day you look forward to most.
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TikTok trends move fast. The hashtags and popular "sounds" go in and out of popularity sometimes within a week.
While some trends are fun and catch at first, if they're dragged on for too long they can become annoying and even painful to see repeatedly.
Some of them are even harmful, like pranks that other people didn't consent to. It's not new to TikTok, but the easily marketable platform didn't help stop them.
We went to AskReddit to hear which trends make people the most angry.
Redditor JaneDoe1967 asked:
"What TikTok trend gave you anger issues?"
This list might make you angry, so reader beware.
Dancing while oversharing.
"The ones where they dance to some sh*tty choreography and tell a super personal story. You’re going to do the stanky leg while you talk about your mom’s cancer? Strange to me lol."
"There was one where a daughter danced in front of her very ill dad who was lying on a hospital bed."
"There's also the one where a mom dances next to her newborn that's hospitalized."
Harassing people in public.
"Harassing innocent people who are just trying to buy groceries."
"Back in Vine days, I was at Walmart getting acrylic paint for a theater project. It was like 1am and my sister and I had been awake for hours trying to finish a project for a community theater show."
"Then some blonde kid runs up with an air horn and blows it in our faces and runs away."
"Our friends start sending us his video saying 'omg is this you and sister?!'"
"It was Logan Paul. F*ck that guy."
"Logan Paul video. This was surprisingly easy to find."
The fake pranks.
"The fake pranks with the extremely over exaggerated reactions, and perfectly scripted dialogue."
"I die a little bit every time one sneaks-in on my For You page."
"I hate pranks. I mean some are funny but most are just cringe whether they're real or not. Especially when targeted at kids. I think that's just mean."
"Any 'prank' video where someone leads their SO to believe they are being cheated on"
"Like there was one where someone would pretend to accidentally text their SO 'they're gone now, you can come over' and then film their SO's reaction."
"Like that shit isn't funny, and I would 100% breakup with someone if they did that to me."
"My favorite is the one where some dude tried this and his girl dead a** broke up with him because it was such a sh*t joke."
Not really adding to the joke.
"Lip syncing standup comedy. Your silent delivery doesn’t not enhance the joke, it makes it weird."
"Oh, and duets where it’s just the other person reacting/laughing. Especially when they’ve obviously seen the video before and are faking it this time."
"I do not understand reaction videos. Like why do people watch them? Is it to validate their own reaction?"
Licking ice cream and putting it back.
"That b*tch who licked a tub of ice cream then put it back in the supermarket fridge."
"I was a retail worker during that time, and that was hell on earth. Most ice cream companies at that time actually didn’t have plastic seals over the product. So people were demanding to know why the seal was broken when it was never in fact there. Now about 90% of them do have seals. Long story short: I got yelled at a lot and we had to throw out/send back a lot of ice cream."
The "Oh No" song.
"Oh no Oh no Oh no no no."
"It’s such a shame because the original, by the Shangri-Las is an absolute banger."
Videos that need a second part.
"Anything with Like for Part 2. All videos that are multiple parts drives me up the wall because you cant just scroll to the next you have to move to their page and find your last watched then go up from there its frustrating. I feel old."
"If there even is a Part 2. Sometimes there isn't. And sometimes they post the Part 2 months later so they're hard to find. At least we can say the youngsters know how to get attention."
Exploiting disabled people for views.
"Filming their autistic or mentally challenged relative that is clearly incapable of consenting to being the subject of all their TikToks."
"I hate the TikToks of kids that are disabled and the parents say they're 'raising awareness' K cool but I don't need to know your kids private health information."
"Yeah they can raise awareness about a disability or disease without plastering videos of their kids all over the internet."
Faking illness or neurodiversity for fun.
"People faking disorders of any kind and think they 'quirky' or 'cool,' depression and ADHD is not a fun combination."
"Exactly. I have a handful of the disorders that are constantly being faked (including tics) and I swear to f*cking god you can immediately tell who is faking because they. Are. Not. Fun. Tics f*ckin hurt."
"The most f*cked thing is they make the disorders look like some sort of joke."
If you haven't heard of these before, don't look them up.
It will probably only incite rage upon seeing them.
Or you'll be left with a song stuck in your head.
Hopefully, the trends that are harmful to others end as quickly as they took off.
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Games are a great form of recreation.
They can bring us closer together with friends and family (or drive a wedge between us—looking at you, Mario Party), and provide an excellent way to blow off some steam by ourselves.
Not all games are totally straightforward about how you win them, though. Sometimes you win the game by losing.
Redditor sidasauras asked:
"What is a game you win by losing?"
"You win at golf by playing less golf than everybody else."
"Yeah but generally you play more golf to hopefully play less golf."
"I've never played any golf, so I win by default."
"i'm not golfing right now and i'm kicking ass at it."
"Pumping up an auction so the winner pays more. I need Kevin Garnett to pay more for that black opal."
"The trick is to scout out your escape routes so you can bail if they don't raise above you at the end."
"There’s even an economic term for that; it’s called the 'winner’s curse.' If it’s an item with a specific but unknown value (not something like a painting that has subjective value), the person who most overestimates the value of the item will win the auction."
"Monopoly, because once you lose you finally don't have to play anymore."
"Games like Monopoly you have to play to absolutely crush everybody else, by clever use of the actual rules, so nobody ever asks you to play again."
"this also works for most games. For games that allow a "shared" victory, you still crush everybody, for the same reason."
"Yes, for example, you don't build hotels unless you have the cash reserves and open property to immediately rebuy all the houses."
"There is a finite number of houses. You don't add more when you run out. In this way, you have 3 properties, with 4 houses each, so you have 12 houses off the market."
"The only time you build a hotel is when you can rebuy those 12 houses in one turn in order to not let your opponents buy them. It's about creating an artificial scarcity to starve out the competition."
"You only progress in the game story-wise by dying, so yeah."
"Can’t wait to play this game. Heard such amazing things."
"I was going to say hades. Brilliant game, dying doesn't make you mad or set you back."
"Played that with rum on my 30th birthday. I even remember part of it."
"My friend and I made a really good beer pong team. One night he had beat everyone else at the party, some of them twice. Then we got cocky and started playing with whiskey to our opponents’ beer. Our play deteriorated quickly and we got very drunk."
The Mad Magazine Board Game
"The Mad Magazine Board Game"
"Had that! Took it to school to one day to play it with friends. Forgot to bring it home. It was gone the next day."
"That's the one I was looking for. A friend of mine is a bit of a collector and he has that. We were talking about Monopoly one night and he later broke that out for us to play."
One Night Ultimate Werewolf
"One Night Ultimate Werewolf has this as a character class."
"The game is divided into two teams - the villagers who are trying to hunt down the werewolves and the werewolves who are trying to get the villagers to execute an innocent person. But the game has a few fun roles which mess things up."
"The Minion is technically a villager, but he's on the Werewolves' team. He is trying to get a villager killed in order to ensure a Werewolf victory, but if sowing discord doesn't help, he can let himself become the prime suspect and get voted to die, which causes a Werewolf victory."
"The Tanner card, however, is just trying to get themselves killed. He hates his job and he hates his life and expressly wants to die. He is trying to ensure that he is killed by whomever."
"The Tanner is technically on his own separate team and is trying to convince the others to kill him. If he is killed at the end, then neither the Villagers or the Werewolves win - he's the sole winner and the two teams lose."
That One Episode Of Fear Factor
"There was an episode of Fear Factor where a group of guys had to milk a goat with their mouth. The guy that lost said something like "well at least I suck the least" and walked off like a boss."
"I know that’s the point of the show, but I seriously wonder how people could throw away their dignity on TV for money."
"But seriously, what writer is in an office brainstorming these things??? 'HOW ABOUT WE MAKE THEM SUCK MILK OUT OF A GOAT WHILE THEIR S.O. IS DROWNING IN CONCRETE'"
The Game (Yes, That One)
"The one you just lost by remembering that you're playing it."
"I was looking for this comment. OP made me lose again."
"There was a long period of time where I forgot how you played, but then I read a comment explaining the rules, and I sadly lost once again."
Games With Kids
"Any game you play with a little kid...it's actually hard to lose sometimes"
"Kinda cute when you're throwing and they're giving their all and barely beat you. My nephew learned not to gloat too much whenever he wins. Rematches where I absolutely crush him tend to happen if he's a sore winner."
"I learned Pinochle - a trick-taking card game similar to Euchre or 500 but with points for card combinations awarded ahead of the tricks - from my grandmother. At one point, when I was a brash teen, I made the mistake of taunting her with something to the tune of 'you can do better.'"
"She's a wonderfully gentle old lady, and she doted on her grandkids - but she learned Pinochle from her father, my great-grandfather, and he played to win."
"I found out that day that she could too."
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