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Lawyers Describe Which Cases They Wish They Had Never Won

Regret is a real feeling....

Lawyers have a difficult job. Yes we make fun of them and often make their lives miserable but they are just doing their jobs to the best of their abilities. They are human... contrary to popular belief. They have plenty of moments and mistakes they regret. And in hindsight they often look back at a win as a fail.

Redditor u/Mr-Ard wanted to know if any of the law professionals out there were wiling to fess up by asking.... Lawyers of reddit, what case you wish you never won?

Was I happy I won? 

Client hired IT consultants from another consulting firm. The firm basically found qualified people and rented them out, sort of like a recruiter but they get fees forever (common in IT consulting). Client eventually thought he was paying too much (even though he agreed to it), and stopped paying. He owed $200k.

In NJ, you need to be licensed as a consulting firm. If you're not, you can't sue for your unpaid bills. They sued anyway, tried to argue some loopholes. We won, client paid nothing beyond my legal fees.

Was I happy I won? Meh. Gave me a great story, great for my reputation. Doesn't feel great helping out a douchebag though. I'm an underling who had no role in being able to reject the case, so that was a little bit of a consolation at least. CarolaMckey

No Coaching....

Giphy

Not a lawyer, but I became friends with one after my friend took USAA to court after they wouldn't pay a claim when their member rear ended her on her scooter after she stopped for a stop sign. Their lawyer kept talking to me to try to coach my friend on what to say, but she just wouldn't listen. He was a nice guy and wanted to help her since his client was obviously in the wrong. Unfortunately, USAA won and she was stuck with a $12k ER bill. AggravatingEducator4

Sorry....

I represented a man accused of murder. I was able to get him off on a technicality during his arrest but it was pretty clear he was guilty of the murder. I truly regret getting him off because he was most definitely guilty. 2stepgarage

None.

Giphy

Lifelong public defender, here. None.

I will also say that my feelings for a client are rarely impacted by what they are accused of having done. I've had accused murderers whom I enjoyed working with. I've had accused shoplifters I've wanted to strangle. aolowa

Pain in the Neck....

When I was an insurance defense attorney there was a guy who sued one of my clients after she hit his car and hurt his neck. He was legitimately hurt bad enough to where he couldn't do his job anymore. I had to defend her and I did a good job from her and her insurance company's perspective and all he got was his past medical bills. The jury should have given him a lot more than that, and I have felt bad about that for years. ipaywithlitecoin

Medical Issues.... 

I represented a foreign medical company, they have a worldwide monopoly in a treatment for a specific kind of cancer. They used to sell these treatments to hospital and other public organizations. They had a fight with buyers for the price of the treatment, they wanted to be paid way more of the price set up by the hospitals, so they decided to fake a shortage in some of the components needed and stopped producing this product worldwide, leaving a lot of patients to certain death.

After some time that they came back to produce that same product and their price demand were met. They had both criminal and civil consequences, but In the end I managed to reduce the their responsibility to just a small economic fine which was less than 0,001 per cent of the profit they made with this whole operation. Mim3sis

Looking at the Dying....

I won a case for a pharmaceutical company that was accused of selling contaminated products. My cases were all against people who had developed terminal illnesses and I fought tooth and nail to discredit the scientific experts that the plaintiffs put on the stand.

I started out losing cases and the sting of a loss lasted a day or two. The mistrials were best because we kinda "won," as in kicking the can down the road. Looking at a dying person when the jury read their verdict in my favor will never leave me.

I didn't show up at work for months, then kinda sat at my desk for a few months, then eventually quit. I'm living off my savings now (not as much as you'd think) and volunteering for organizations that need lawyers.

If I'd lost that case I would have stayed in my happy world indefinitely. I'm glad I'm out of that world but that win took its toll on my life. Cheef-Justice

'winning'

Giphy

Well once you've taken a case (more realistically, it was given to you) you have no choice but to do whatever you think is necessary for the best interests of your client. To do anything less open you up to a malpractice lawsuit.

Also, don't forget there are lawyers on both sides of the case with the same duty to their clients. So in the end the 'winning' side is simply the one that put forward a stronger case. shouldbhi

New Career.

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The one thing this post is teaching me is that I could never be a lawyer because I have a conscience.

And I mean no offense by this. I am sorry that you folks have to live with these things. I know I am not mentally strong enough. TheGoodGovernment

In a funky country....

None of them. I want to win. I knew though that I'd have a tougher time not being emotionally engaged with family law and crime and anything else really emotive and so forged a career where it's companies and cash at stake.

Now I work in-house as a litigator for a multinational co covering disputes throughout the world. I always do make sure that if we're thinking of litigating in a funky country that the penalties aren't inhumane. No interest in someone getting executed or flogged for messing with the Company. aolllllllll

"They found me NOT guilty??"

Giphy

I had a misdemeanor stalking case once. Client wanted a jury trial so we did that and I had to question the poor girl who was getting harassed by this guy. The jury came back with a 'not guilty' verdict, and my client turned to me and said incredulously, "They found me NOT guilty??" Yeah, that case. ThePrimCrow

Germany Tales... 

Right before taking my bar exam in Germany I was working in a small law firm as a law apprentice. There was one case which was given to me, because it was considered unwinable but the client insisted on pushing through. The case was about an elderly lady who sold her cat, because she was too sick to take care of her.

The buyer of the cat our client, a rather wealthy lady, took the cat to the vet right after buying it. Apparently the cat needed 2000€ worth of surgeries. She hired us to collect those 2000 from the old lady. She was really an unpleasant woman to say at least.

She acted without even the slightest bit of remorse or empathy. She knew exactly in what situation the old lady was, because she was the one who informed us about it. Nevertheless we won the case pretty quick even though our client didn't have a leg to stand on. CrystalDexter

big city in America....

I used to prosecute neglect cases for Child Protection Services. After a few high profile cases where young kids ended up dead at the hands of family members, CPS starting asking us to file on pretty much everybody (I understand why, but I wish they would have stood up to the bad press instead of allowing it to dictate who they brought to court).

From that point on, I would say about half my cases, even though a cause of action existed, I felt guilty for winning. folicfoil

Copyright Issues...

We took a copyright case to trial twice, and then an appeal, and won every time. The case was on contingency (the client doesn't pay unless you win). We have spent years trying to collect the judgment from the defendant so we can get paid (we have a judgment for our own fees that is close to $1 million), throwing good money after bad.

The Defendant hid his assets very effectively (put all hard assets into LLCs, got paid hundreds of thousands a year in cash and services to avoid banks, etc.). He died of covid19 on Friday, and was likely savvy enough to avoid probate.

All of this is a gross oversimplification, but the TL;DR is we won a case three times, and have never been paid a cent because the loser was very shady and died, so we will likely get nothing for the client or ourselves. 3choplex

We won.

Giphy

Was a labor lawyer for some time and we had a no-exception policy against using the company credit card for personal expenses. Everyone knows you get fired for it because they beat it into you with frequent training, make you sign stuff, etc. We fired a guy who was a few months from retirement, and his union filed for arbitration.

Arbitration is kind of a joke and any labor lawyer will tell you that no arbitrator would uphold that termination even if the guy wasn't near retirement. We won. Due to the way the pension worked, the fact he left before he reached 55 led to a massive pension discount, like hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Oh, by the way his offense was fulling up his car with gas using company card because he had left his personal card somewhere and was going to run out of gas. (On the other side of the coin I had many employees do insane things like hide and sleep at work for 40 hours, lead to a 30,000 gallon gasoline spill, fighting, death threats, etc who all got their jobs back through arbitration). LenoreHalperin

Bills....

Seeing lots of armchair lawyers in here, but I can tell you the cases we often wish we lost: the ones where clients don't pay their damn bills. Actually getting paid is one of the most stressful parts of practicing. dustydeceiver

At a Loss....

Worked for a large law firm. We 'won' freedom for a suspected terrorist who probably did commit a very serious atrocity but politics got in the way of convicting him.

Sorry cannot say which case this was. sundialsoft

I'm used to do divorces....

I'm used to do divorces, mostly. I'm not cut out for that work but it's the job I could get out of law school. A guy came in for a divorce and seemed, by all accounts, really nice. He claimed that they had $50k in cash in their safe and that his wife had taken it out when she left the house. His ex wife never worked so seemed reasonable she would take the money to help pay bills, start over, etc. 6 months in though, when we were finalizing property, his true colors started to show. Refusing to let her have the toaster, arguing over giving her anything even though she hadn't worked their entire 15 year marriage, telling her she could have half of the expensive plants SHE tended to only if she came and got them herself without help.

For reference, these plants were in a green house and some weighed upwards of 100lbs each (she probably weighed 100lbs herself; extremely meek woman in her 60s). The other lawyer and I finally get everything settled except the $50k. My client says she took it, ex wife says she did initially but then put it back on the advice of her attorney. So we go to trial just on this $50k. I cross examine her elderly parents, treat them as hostile, really go all out. Up against a veteran attorney who had been doing this for 30 plus years while I was BRAND NEW, I had to show my worth.

In the end, the judge ended up declaring that the $50k was "lost money." No one, technically, wins. 1 hour later my client waltzes into the office and pays his $15k bill all in $100 bills. I just stared silently at the money while he smiled widely at me, thanked me for helping him and then left. I quit practicing law entirely 3 months later. I still think about his ex wife (who honestly seemed sweet and lovely) and hope she's okay. aworldofnonsense

Insurance Issues....  

one of our cases was trying to get the lowest possible amount for a guy who while doing his job in a stationary car was hit from behind at full speed (his car was off the road the other driver was impaired) and his car was slammed into the 18 wheeler he was helping. He is forever handicapped and in a home and our job was to get him way less than he deserved... I didn't want to work insurance defense anymore after that one. quint1993

irrefutable....

Giphy

I always thought it would be cool to be a lawyer until I had to pay 63K in attorney fees over the course of 2 years for custody of my daughter. Now I'm not complaining so much about the money, more so about watching her attorney try to turn a turd into a piece of gold, no matter how irrefutable the evidence against her was.

I wouldn't be able to live with myself or sleep at night defending on cases like that where I would potentially be trying to return children to drugs, abuse, neglect and etc. mienkio

REDDIT

Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or ":zipper_mouth_face:" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.

Infamous Internet Rumors That Ended Up Being True

Reddit user strakerak asked: 'What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?'

boy playing at laptop inside room
Photo by Ludovic Toinel on Unsplash

In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.

He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.

The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.

This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.

Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:

"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"

The King Of Pop

"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."

"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."

– -WigglyLine-

"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."

"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."

"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."

– given2fly_

The Truth Comes Out

"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."

"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."

– guyfromsoccer

Video Evidence

"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."

"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."

– Frozenthickness

"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."

– PattiAllen

The Movie Business

"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."

"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."

OldMastodon5363

"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."

CMV_Viremia

Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids

"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."

"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."

– Spledidlife

Yes, It's True

"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."

"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."

"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."

– latflickr

How The Mighty Fell

"John Edward’s love child."

– ACam574

"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."

– Fanclock314

Ugh...

"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."

– everylastlight

It Actually Happened

"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."

– Known-Committee8679

"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."

– Paganigsegg

Big Actor, Small Roles

"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."

– KampferMann

"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."

– CardinalCreepia

What To Do Next?

"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."

"Turned out to be absolutely true."

– homarjr

That last one was kind of obvious!

Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.

Person holding large stack of books
Photo by Jay Lamm on Unsplash

Whether you're naturally interested in fun facts and trivia or not, it's always nice to know a few that you can pull out of your pocket at a moment's notice as a nice conversation starter.

But there are some fun facts out there that are so weird, people become more preoccupied with how the teller found out that information rather than the information itself.

Redditor Dry_Bus_935 asked:

"What is your 'don't ask me how I know' random fact?"

Nuclear Fail Safe

"You have quite a lot of time, certainly more than ten seconds, to turn back on the main pumps of a nuclear reactor once you have accidentally turned them off."

- egorf

"I'm not surprised. The amount of fail safes, redundancies, and emergency scenario planning for nuclear power plants is insane."

"I toured a nuclear plant and wrote my high school senior thesis on the plans put in place to ensure the Fukushima disaster would not happen at that plant."

"I'm sure the secondary pumps are plenty capable of handling the reactor until the main pumps are repaired or just turned back on."

- Borderlandsman

Happy Cat

"If your cat chews on fresh eucalyptus, they might start hallucinating and fall over repeatedly, leading to a $400 emergency vet bill just to be told she’s just kinda high."

- oddidealstronghold

"And, that's part of why koalas love it. Little stoners."

- littlebluefoxy

Archaeology: Do Not Lick

"Old human bones are very porous, so if you lick them, they’ll stick to your tongue."

- clanculcarius

Sharing is Caring

"A pigeon will only eat a Starburst if you chew it up a little bit first. Just to clarify: chew the Starburst, not the pigeon."

- OhTheHueManatee

"Instructions unclear. Pigeon unhappy."

- Wild-Lychee-3312

Intriguing Anatomy

"Everyone is here with the creepy crime stuff, and I'm just like, 'A soft fur rat has 22 nipples.'"

- horroscoblue

"Okay, so either they have really small nipples, their nipples overlap, or they have nipples in places where there shouldn't be nipples."

"(I've never written the word 'nipples' so many times in a singular sentence before.)"

- GdeGraaf

'Don't Ask Me,' Indeed!

"Turmeric can be used as clothes dye. It is capable of permanently dyeing cotton cloth even after it has passed through the digestive tract of an adult male."

- SlefeMcDichael

"You s**t your pants, didn't you?"

- PMmecrossstitch

"I'd prefer not to answer that question."

- SlefeMcDichael

High-Risk Survival Skills

"If you ever trying to survive in the Arctic, don’t eat polar bear liver. It is so high in vitamin A, it will kill you."

- WrongWayCorrigan-361

"It's also surrounded by a lethal amount of angry polar bear."

- horanc2

Real-Life Spies

"TV shows and movies go out of their way to make military/intelligence officers look bada**."

"But real-life 'spies,' by design and training, are boring. They have regular houses and standard second-hand cars, they dress down, and they have vague, boring job titles (accounts receivable) as cover, and they do not draw attention to themselves. Most come from specialized academia."

- Ok_Worth_1093

Haunting Reality

"Your muscles can keep twitching for several hours after you die."

- JustDave62

"Also, beards can appear to grow. This is however not because the beard itself grows but because the skin shrinks."

- RRautamaa

"I worked at a morgue for over eight years. If you grasp the hand of a dead body to move the arm, the hand will grasp back, but that's just muscles and tendons reacting to the tension."

- goneferalinid

The Sneakiness of Drowning

"When a drowning victim is revived, get them to a hospital as soon as possible. Drowning is the leading cause of death of kids from the age of one to seven and is ruled as accidental drowning when it comes to secondary drowning or dry drowning."

"Basically, your lungs are full of water despite being revived. Your lungs will absorb the liquid, but not before your body acidifies from high levels of carbon dioxide. The only chance to survive is to have the lungs pumped with oxygen via CPAP machine and time."

"Also, drowning is extremely quiet. You don’t hear the victim go under. And if you see flailing, do not attempt to save the victim otherwise you’ll become another drowning victim. Throw them a lifeline and hope their amygdala realizes that a rope or something is floating near them and grabs on it."

- Dfiggsmeister

Not Everyone's Favorite Chocolate

"Hershey’s chocolate has the strong smell of vomit or feces to some people (me), and that’s because they use butyric acid as a preservative. Butyric acid is the compound that makes vomit smell so bad."

"Edit: Digging further into it, there are some claims that they may not be “adding” the butyric acid, but rather it is occurring from essentially spoiling the milk in their milk chocolate. Either way, the butyric acid and putrid smell remains a part of their product."

- hefewiseman1

"That explains the weird aftertaste I always get! I don’t smell it but their chocolate always has this super unpleasant sharp/acidic aftertaste that I find repulsive. I assume this is why!!"

- PomegranateNo975

Do Not Lick the Asbestos

"Asbestos tastes like chalk. And if you lick it, it has the texture of extremely gritty sandpaper. Which is actually the feeling of microscopic asbestos needles piercing your flesh!"

- TooYoungToBeThisOld1

Mapping Out the War

"Beginning in 1911 in anticipation of the outbreak of WW1 in 1914, two statesmen, one from England and one from France, began visiting locations in France that they believed would be the settings for a number of major battles that would occur during the great war."

"Long bike rides through these future battle zones in the countryside and weeks spent building a foundation for a French-Anglo codebook that would later prove important in helping win the war."

- fjordperfect123

Avoiding Lawsuits > Protecting Patients

"Doctors, or surgeons more specifically, that make too many mistakes during surgery, ie, leaving instruments in patients, frequently gets ‘quietly traded’ to other hospitals where they continue their path of destruction with the patients not being aware of their past record. Hospitals tend to keep quiet about the matter to avoid lawsuits."

- Kittytigris

Bonus Points: Do This While Having Lunch in Your Car

"If you overfill a fast food gravy cup and then put a lid on, it will create a pressurized gravy stream that sprays all over your face and uniform while your coworker looks on in horror."

- thechaosjester776

This subReddit thread was so a roller-coaster of random facts, we've surely all walked away learning something.

But the biggest takeaway might just be: Maybe don't lick so many things.

Shocked woman covering her mouth
vaitheeswaran Nataraj/Unsplash

When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.

But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.

Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.

It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.

Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:

"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"

These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.

Bleeding Out

"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."

"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."

– DongLaiCha

Tragic News

"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."

– accountnameredacted

Bottom Of The Barrel

"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."

– Crotch-Monster

A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.

Like Father, Like Son

"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."

– psycospaz

Busted

"Flashing blue lights."

– FiddleOfGold

"This sobered me up just thinking about it."

– redmaple_syrup

Losing Sight

"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."

– MissHibernia

Quitting The Bottle

"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."

– omgtater

These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.

Unplanned House Guests

"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."

– Oneinsevenbillion75

Serious Health Warning

"Elevated liver enzymes."

"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."

"So I opted for recovery, instead."

"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."

– Far_Meal8674

The Joyride

"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."

– foxfood9116

The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?

How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.

But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.

Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.

Woman holding multiple shopping bags
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.

Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.

These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.

From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.

Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:

"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"

"Tale As Old As Time..."

"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","

"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."

"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."

"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."

"Lol!"

"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom

"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."

"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."

"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."

"I think he was a germaphobe."

"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."

"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."

"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.

"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."

"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."

"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000

Money Burn GIF by nog Giphy

Who Wore It Better?

"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."

"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."

"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."

"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'

"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"

"No."- mertsey627

Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...

"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."

"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."

"It was very low key."

"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."

"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."

"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."

"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."

"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa

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See You In Court!

"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."

'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."

"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."

"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."

"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."

"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin

It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!

"I work in a public library."

"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."

"A popular book that just came out."

"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."

"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten

A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!

"My own."

"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"

"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."

"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"

"Unacceptable!"

"This shall not stand!"

"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."

"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."

"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."

"I got over it."- DeathGrover

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Holy Matrimony!

"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."

"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."

"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."

"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."

"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."

"It's just a party."

"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree

When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...

"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore

In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...

"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."

"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."

"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."

"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."

"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."

"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."

"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."

"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."

"We don’t offer wrapping services."

"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."

'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae

Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso Giphy

Happiest Place On Earth!

"I used to work for Disney."

"That in itself should tell you everything."

"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."

"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."

"Suddenly got worse huh?"

"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."

"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."

"I'm not kidding."

"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."

"My wife worked booking."

"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."

"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."

"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."

"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."

"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."

"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong

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The horror!

Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!

It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...

Said absolutely no one.