Lawyers and court employees Reveal The Most Ridiculous Things They've Witnessed In Court
Working within the law can be one of the most difficult workplaces in life. Lawyers, judges, bailiffs, court stenographers... they have been witness to some of the craziest society has to offer. Everybody out there has job stories but, the people who show up before a judge might just take the cake. You have to wonder... "do these people actually want to roam free?" Or are they still high?
Redditor Max_Fenig wanted members of the judicial system to regale us with some stories asking... Lawyers, judges and other courtroom workers of Reddit, what is the most ridiculous thing you have seen in court? Pull it together people!
Own it honey! Flames!
So I've told this one quite a few times but I used to intern for a judge. Most of his cases were drugs, dui, or prostitution. One day a woman is brought up from jail for a hearing. (drug related) She is a regular in the courtroom, and is in one of the drug dependency programs.
paraphrasing the conversation.
Judge: 'Tell me what happened'
Woman: "I was leaving the methadone clinic and this guy asked if I wanted some fire dope'
J: 'He asked what?'
W: 'If I wanted some fire dope'
(lawyer whispers to her)
J: "Some fire dope?"
W: "Yes fire dope'
<from here it turned into something very comparable to the super troopers 'littering and' moment while we all tried to avoid laughing- skipping ahead>
J: 'I take it you used it and that is why you are here'
W: 'I did and it was damn good'
The drugs did it!
I was installing furniture/equipment in a courthouse office. I'm walking into the building with all of my tools waiting in line to be cleared by security. The man in front of me steps up the to metal detectors and grabs one of the baskets you use to empty your pockets. Into the basket the Man places his watch, his necklace, wallet, keys cell phone, weed sack and pistol. He then casually walks through the metal detector and looks back to the officer to get his belongings. The three officers and several people standing around are stunned. After a few seconds the officer with the basket says, "Uhh,.. put your hands behind your back?" The guy didn't fight them, he just refused to believe he had done anything wrong. He was there for a drug offense.
I know this is probably looking for funny stories, but I have one that's a little more serious.
My dad was a lawyer. My senior year our school let students who didn't have to retake the standardized test do service learning for those days. I chose to shadow my dad at a big jury trial he had going on and a friend of mine who'd already graduated tagged along.
It was a beautiful Tuesday morning in September. When my friend and I were driving to my dad's house we heard a news report that someone crashed a plane into the World Trade Center. Bob & Tom were joking about it. We walked into my dad's house just in time to see the second plane hit on live TV. Bob & Tom weren't joking when we got back to the car to go to court.
That day in court was surreal. The lawyers knew what was going on. The judge and prosecutor knew what was going on. The jury had no clue though, and everyone was stuck in the courtroom and on a media blackout since they weren't going to have the TV on in the background during a jury trial.
My friend and I were the only ones there watching the trial as observers. We were the only ones who could go out and listen to the news, and so we were the only way for anyone in that room to have any idea what was going on outside. So we'd bring in updates when they had brief breaks, and people were low key freaking out as they were trapped in this room going ahead with a trial that probably shouldn't have happened that day and the only news was coming from a high school kid walking across the street to listen to updates on NPR in his car.
Security also really tightened up between arriving in the morning and leaving for lunch. We didn't end up spending much time in the court room observing because people were asking for updates. The justice center was like a ghost town with only the guards up front, and they were looking around like they were expecting an attack at any moment.
The guy got convicted. My dad tried to get a retrial or something because of the circumstances, but it never happened.
Honesty First...
I'm a legal secretary. I used to assist attorneys who practice Juvenile Dependency. We were funded the county to defend indigent parents whose children were removed by CPS. A mother came to court with a tattoo "F CPS" on her neck.
A client was on the witness stand being questioned.
Attorney: How much marijuana do you use currently?
Client: Well... Not as much as I'd like.
[Face palm.]
Let's get it on...
During my court reporting internship I met a really nice bailiff. Sometimes attorneys have to approach the judge for a side-bar conversation that's supposed to be unheard by the jury. But because court is boring, attorneys having secret whisper arguments with a judge seems fascinating to a jury. This bailiff would distract them by playing Marvin Gaye on his phone and dancing around like a Motown backup singer. Dude loved his job and went above and beyond his duties.
Attendance... "Present!"
I read this comment a few weeks ago, where someone was robbed by two guys. The judge asks the victim if those two guys are in the courtroom. Before he could answer, those morons lifted their hands, as in "Here we are."
The Goodest Wife
After her third DUI, my elderly and disabled neighbor was being let off with a suspended license and a hefty fine. Thinking she could do better, she attempted to negotiate (loudly and aggressively) with the judge, using her infinite wisdom of prime time television law shows. She walked out with jail time.
I had a friend in law school who, while in the middle of speaking with the judge, pulled a hamburger out of his pant pocket and just started eating it. Since this was a law school clinic the judge looked at the supervising professor, who just hung his head in response.
Another time I saw a judge sentence a guy to 1 month for an assault. It was a pretty generous sentence and the guy seemed to take it pretty well. But on the way out of the courtroom the defendant yelled "F the judge!", kinda like Kendrick Lamar. The judge just waved his hand to tell the bailiff to get him back. The guy was re-sentenced to 24 months.
Never bring up #2!
Most of my clients are mentally ill. I do mostly civil and criminal mental health related work.
In my jurisdiction, an application by a (civilly) involuntarily detained person for a review of their detention must be heard within 2 weeks of the application. No matter what. So I am often in the position of managing clients who are unwell, including experiencing psychotic episodes etc. Direct examinations can be very... interesting.
My most memorable review board hearing involved my client giving an impromptu demonstration of how they came to be arrested under the mental health act.
There was poop involved.
.... just another day at the office.
Flip a coin...
I saw a woman who wanted to plead "guilty and not guilty." When asked why by the judge, she explained that she did turn left in front of the other car and failed to yield but she didn't mean to hit anyone...so she was "guilty AND not guilty."
For all the crime or mystery shows people watch perhaps the scariest instances are the tragedies that happen in real life. The most startling thing is while many murderers display red flags, a large amount tend to be seemingly nice people. Criminologists have found that in domestic-violence-related homicide in particular the perpetrator tends to employ an outwardly charming, charisma-filled act as part of their method.
Have you ever met a murderer? It leaves you feeling gross. There was one murderer in our small wooded town that I met a few different times. He was a business owner of a run down pawn shop and the apartments above it since I could remember. Also since I could remember-dude was creepy.
As even teens if mom needed to run in to grab something like a cheap small appliance or movies we had to wait in the car. When older and working teens my sister had to deliver pizza there once. When she walked in the owner and a couple of guys hanging out there just stopped, then went "oh a wo-man!" and blank stared at her until she left.
We always heard the town rumor mill how he would rent to women in exchange for "favors" etc and he was on the state offender registry. You could just tell there was something wrong there. I personally only went inside the shop twice in my life and left quickly because of the odd atmosphere.
Years go by, the now old man is still running his increasingly rundown pawnshop and rentals and then BOOM police tape everywhere, scanners going crazy, his name is all over the news. Apparently after a conflict his older son went and confessed to helping his father clean up the crime scene.
This man had been involved with a woman and she had gone missing in 1998. No leads ever come about and people decided she must have runaway. It turns out that after a conflict the owner had murdered her cold blood. He then called his son to help him. He had dismembered her and burned her body in the furnace of the pawn shop.
He then continued to stay and work right there every day until he was convicted in 2013 of the henious crime.
While many red flags were noticed many of his oddities seemed to get brushed under the rug following the "poor people are crazy but people with money are just eccentric" rule while enjoying the privileges being a business owner in a tiny town offer.
Wanting to hear others encounter with real life monsters Rediitor White-cherries asked the online community:
"People who knew murders before they killed someone, what are some red flags you didn't notice at the time?"
The answers were plentiful and disturbing.
"He never had a sense of right/wrong.”
“My childhood friend killed his parents. His dad was my dad's best friend. Red flags? Drinking at an extremely young age, like 9."
“He never had a sense of right/wrong. Cruelty to animals. It reads like a profile of a future murderer. Heavy drug use did the rest of the work and he killed both of them for oxy."
“Since he was my friend, I guess I missed it all at the time. But my parents got me away from him with a quickness once I mentioned some things to them.“ andrewfnluck
The school bully...
“I went to school with three eventual murderers, but only one showed red flags to me. He was an extremely violent bully. He'd just attack people in the halls.”
“Trying to punch guys in the balls. Grab your nipple and twist. Punch kids in the arm or back. Typical bully stuff except he put everything into it. You wouldn't know he was even around and suddenly he was attacking you.”
“He murdered a classmate of ours who I really liked. It was in 7th grade and he beat him to death over a bag of pot. He was convicted of 2nd degree murder and was released 6 years later and has a long rap sheet.” GrandUnhappy9211
Total shock...
“So I went to a big university that had a weird close knit feel. There was this girl that I knew but I wasn't friends with. She was nice but very over the top bubbly, enthusiastic about EVERYTHING and super extroverted. She was just a little much for me. Good in very, very small doses.”
“She started dating this guy who was the opposite of her, shy, quiet, followed her around like a little puppy. I can't remember now if it was over a holiday break, like thanksgiving or Christmas or if it was just a weekend but we all found out that his parents, younger brother and dog were all killed in a house fire.”
“Everyone felt so bad for him. Her family took him in. Support poured out from everywhere. Then we find out he killed all of them and then set the house on fire to cover it up. Shocked everyone.” Mom-tired_send-wine
Horrific...
“Nothing. I would have told you he was truly one of the nicest, kindest guys I'd ever met. He was a regular customer at a place my SIL bartended at. He was always nice, friendly, funny, a genuinely good guy."
“When the Husband and I would visit SIL at work he'd chat with us like we were old friends. He obviously had a bit of a crush on SIL but she was involved and had a small child and he respected that. Never even hit on her."
“There were many nights he'd stay past close to help her clean up, take trash out, lug kegs for her. Sometimes they'd go over to the after hours bar with a couple other people. They got to know each other quite well over several years (or so we thought)."
“Then one night SIL' s friend was at the bar and had too much so she couldn't drive. He offered to drive her home. SIL would never watch an impaired friend go out alone with just any customer but she never thought twice about this."
“In fact, she even thought it was so like him to offer... Such a nice guy!! She was happy her friend would get home safe ... They found her friend's body the next day."
“She had been strangled to death. He apparently drove around with her body until almost sun up not sure what to do with her when he decided to return to the bar."
“He dumped her body in the back alley next to the dumpster. SIL had to testify against him. In court it was brought to light that he had a history of violence against women (no murders, but several assaults). We were all absolutely shocked. BTW - He got Life." Kteefish
When a dv victim decides to leave they are at the greatest risk of fatal attack.
“My cousin's husband. When they first got married, he was a decent guy though I had only met him after they got married. I thought it was weird that she had a kid that wasn't living with them, but I was young and brushed it off. Over a decade later, I find out he was abusive and she was divorcing him. He shot her outside her workplace. It was on thr news. Thankfully he was caught not long after.” KosherWitch
“I always think about that one interaction.”
“So I worked with a guy, and one day he seemed upset. He got married young and he feared his wife, who separated from him, was starting to date his ex best friend. I said, "that's tough, sorry to hear it, you're young, next…"…..he immediately got this intense look and said he'd kill them.”
“I told him you don't want to say that, and blew it off. It seemed like blowing off steam kind of comment, but I was surprised at the Intensity…normally an extremely laid back guy. However, I felt it strange enough that I wanted to walk away.”
“Six months later he went to his old apartment at 6am, and the two were in bed. He entered their bedroom, put them on their knees and shot each in the head. He then put the gun to his head and ended it. The girl flinched at the shot, and survived a head shot. The new boyfriend died. I always think about that one interaction.” CLO54
“They were just shady a** people...”
“My friends husband killed her after they broke up by bludgeoning her to death and then took the car and her body and burned it in the woods. Big red flags from this guy was, he was still with his ex wife and they were in a polyamorous relationship with extreme jealousy, he was a total douche, didn't work, very possessive and jealous, and had hit her a few times before that I knew of.”
“He killed her because she broke up with them and was taking the house they had bought. He fought chickens and dogs also. He was using her for a free ride for insurance and financial support. His ex wife and son (17) were also in on the murder and helped to plan it.”
“They were just shady a** people and the world would have been a better place if they had never existed and had a child. We reported her missing an hour after she did not show from work and her daughter had found evidence that something had happened at the end of their driveway, she wasn't found for a few weeks but we all knew who was behind it as soon as she went missing.” AeBS1978
Creepy red flags...
“I worked with Edward Paul Morris right up until the point he murdered his pregnant wife and their children. Can't say it was so much missed signs as much as signs that are even more disturbing in hindsight.”
“On the surface he seemed like a polite, friendly guy if a little awkward. He would make small talk with me in the office breakroom, almost always complaining about his wife and stress at home. He treated it like chit-chat but it was clear he couldn't stop thinking about it.”
“When a mutual co-worker and I moved into a rental house together he offered to come mow the lawn (he did some yard maintenence work on the side). We didn't have curtains up yet and I was in my new bedroom putting clothes away when I realized he was outside, lawn mower running but just standing there and staring at me through the window. Creeped me right the f**k out.” serenidade
So sad...
“A guy I knew from HS stalked an ex GF, ran through her sliding glass door, shot and killed her then killed himself. He had evidently been stalkerish with some other exes as well but because it was in another county it wasn't easy to find. There was a push to create a central register of people with protective orders like they do sex offenders in Texas because of him.”
“He hid it very well. I knew he had some substance abuse issues but he had stopped drinking and started going to church. Turns out that was even BS, he was going to the church his ex went to so he could talk to her. Edit: Monica's Law” TheProle
Remember that if you think you or someone you know is or could be experiencing domestic violence you can get ahold of the National Domestic Violence Hotline anytime by calling 1-800-799-7233(SAFE) or by texting START to 88788. If you see something say something by calling either a hotline to local law enforcement.
Many people would rather focus on the scandals associated with celebrities notorious for bad behavior.
This is a shame since many of their phenomenal talents are overlooked in favor of a juicy tabloid.
But what about the genuinely well-behaved celebrities? Well, they are not without haters too, unfortunately.
For instance, stars like Taylor Swift – who has been a positive role model and ally of the LGBTQ community – still has her share of critics no matter how hard she tries to shake it off.
Curious to hear positive examples from strangers online, Redditor AndweleHarris asked:
"Who's that one celebrity that has like no haters?"
These Canadian comics were found to be simply irresistible.
The Actor From 'Honey I Shrunk The Kids"
"Rick Moranis. The guy stopped acting to take care of his kids after his wife's death."
– joeO44
Aspiring Football Player
"John Candy"
– zen1001
"My favorite John Candy story: Joe Montana was playing for the 49ers in an important game, may have even been the Super Bowl. His team is down, they've got a lot of ground to cover and not a lot of time to do it."
"Montana comes into the huddle and starts calling the play, then stops and points to the stands and says:"
"Hey, isn't that John Candy?"
"Teammates look over, and it is, indeed, John Candy. Turns out he was a big football fan."
"Montana returned his focus to the game and went on to lead a game-winning drive down the field."
These European personalities won the hearts of many people from around the world.
The Dowager Countess of Grantham
"Maggie Smith"
"Professor McGonagall is the most underrated Harry Potter character in the series."
"She is so funny, even when she is strictly serious! But I mostly praise Maggie Smith for her line delivery in general."
Practically perfect
"Julie Andrews"
– __Soju__
"I effing LOVE her story about how Walt Disney waited for her to give birth before filming Mary Poppins. Keep in mind at that stage Julie Andrews was nothing more than a mildly successful West End/Broadway actress. The fact that one of the biggest film producers at the time wanted her specifically to play Mary Poppins AND he was happy to wait until after her pregnancy is a true testament to her phenomenal acting and singing ability."
"It paid off too: Julie Andrews won the Oscar for Best Actress for her role as Mary Poppins, her feature film debut too!"
A.K.A. André René Roussimoff
"Andre the Giant."
"i was fortunate enough to catch a screening of The Princess Bride in Nashville a couple years ago; Cary Elwes (who plays the love interest) was there after the show and told some stories about working with different cast members. when he got to Andre, he recounted how he was the 'mood maker' of the cast and always had a smile on his face. he even broke his foot during one of the last scenes but powered through it because the other actors had been filming all day and wanted to go home."
"a real shame that he passed away so prematurely."
– 8-chan
These real American idols are truly adored.
Viggo Wherever He Goes
"Viggo Mortensen"
"He once gave my mom some chocolates, she still talks about it haha. In an industry rife with ego and jerks, he's a great guy."
America's Sweetheart
"Dolly Parton"
"She had me at, 'It takes a lot of money to look this cheap!' She does plenty of good in this world."
– Phuni44
GIF by Dolly PartonGiphyBetty White"
"Google her variety show. A ton of people hated her because she wouldn't fire her black costar. She pretty much told those people to f*** off for lack of a better term and it makes me love her even more!"
I can confidently assume Dick Van Dyke has no haters.
How could he? He's a lovable icon and is a very affable person to work with.
I would know. Although it was a brief blip in my performing career, I had the honor to share the stage with the Disney legend known for playing Bert in Mary Poppins.
He was extremely gracious and he shook hands with all of us in the ensemble of our show while looking at us individually with a glimmer in his eye.
He loves people. You could tell. And we love him.
Everybody loves to hate a villain.
Usually, we think of villains in relation to novels, television shows, comic books, and movies. But history books and popular culture have a knack for drawing lines between good and evil too.
But, as we know, history is full of bias and injected with human emotion. Subtle exaggerations or scapegoating ploys add on to one another over years and years.
And eventually, even good people can be labeled as the scourges of our past.
Redditor blackwraythbutimpink asked:
"Who is seen as a 'bad guy' in history but was actually ok?"
Of course, Hollywood has a lot to do with it. A good script needs conflict and a villain, even if that means stretching the truth a bit.
Full of Heart, In Fact
"More so sports history, but the film Cinderella Man portrayed boxer Max Baer as a murderous psychopath who gladly killed two fighters in the ring."
"In reality, he was personally devastated by these deaths. In the one he was most directly responsible for, he ended up giving his winnings from his next few fights to the fighters family."
-- lemihaf
Wrong Name
"William Murdoch was the guy who shoots two passengers and then himself in 'Titanic.' "
"In reality, while there were reports of an officer shooting two passengers and then committing suicide, there was nothing confirming it to have been Murdoch."
"In fact, Murdoch was in charge of launching life boats on the starboard side and had launched more than half of his fully loaded lifeboats before anyone else launched any. No one knows for sure what happened to him aside that he was lost with the ship."
-- RichardCano
Not All Rivals Are Evil
"The play Mozart and Salieri (and later the film Amadeus) popularized the idea that Mozart's rival, Antonio Salieri, was a huge jerk who ultimately killed Mozart..."
"...but in reality there's no indication that Mozart was poisoned, or that Salieri had anything to do with his death. Also Salieri was a philanthropist and probably a lot more decent than theater/film made him out to be when they needed an antagonist for Mozart."
-- Renmauzuo
An Impressive Navigator
"Captain William Bligh of the HMS Bounty. Portrayed as a monster in novels and films. He was actually a well thought of Naval Officer who when forced off his ship sailed a small craft 4000 miles with minimal provisions."
"When there was no suitable craft available he and his crew then built their own and sailed from East Timor back to England. He was exonerated by the courts, and had a successful career as Governor of New South Wales."
Other people set their sights on the historical figures who were cast in the wrong light by the inaccurate, prevailing narratives about them.
Peacebroker
"Khrushchev was actually the bigger man during the Cuban missile crisis. He initiated the negotiations and even let Kennedy look like the hero by keeping America's side of the bargain secret."
"Not to mention all the measures he took afterwards to prevent something like it from happening again."
A Man of Principles
"Brutus. He's gone down as committing one of history's greatest betrayals, but what he actually did was choose his Republican ideals over a man he personally loved (who had sparked a civil war with an illegal invasion of Italy, and was unquestionably acting like an autocrat)."
-- Cougar_Boot
Ousted, But a Good Leader
"Thomas Sankara. When he lead Burkina Faso it was probably the most progressive African nation at the time, and even by todays standards it would be up there when compared to them."
"He was also responsible for not only making it less reliant on France, but also it's name (which used to be 'Upper Volta'), and interestingly since he was a guitarist he also wrote the new national anthem."
"He was assassinated in 1987 after a coup."
And others set their sights on the figures who found themselves in the tabloids and discussions of popular culture.
It Was Actually Terrible
"The lady who sued McDonald's for giving her third degree burns." -- skittlkiller57
"Dude, yes. She got fucking third degree burns."
"She was burned so badly it fused her labia. All she wanted was for them to pay for her medical bills due to their obscenely hot flesh searing coffee, which had already been the subject of numerous complaints." -- ARabidDingo
Scapegoated
"Monica Lewinski. Gonna leave it at that." -- PetiteSymphony
"Pretty fu**ed up how the world blamed the young intern for the sex scandal instead of the powerful, much older president..." -- AkechiJubeiMitsuhide
Smearing Pee Wee
"Paul Reubens. For decades of my life I was under the impression that Pee Wee Herman was guilty of some child-predator sh**."
"But no, dude was just spotted in a porn theater. I don't think the masturbation claims were ever even substantiated. Meaning he lost his career because he legally watched porn in his personal free time."
-- Bugbrain_04
It's a list that may drive you to check twice when you hear everyone bashing a historical figure. Perhaps some enemy of theirs began all that bashing.
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People can't function sometimes without being a magnet for drama. The good thing is, these people are also usually extremely bad at hiding their propensity for being involved in said drama.
People who put things on their social media like "I probably hate you," or something of the kind. You know immediately to run in the other direction.
So when u/Pornflakes122 asked:
"What screams 'that person that everyone hates?'"
Here were some of those answers.
Soyyy Drama Free
"'Drama free!! F**k the haters! I'm so real everyone else just can't handle it, people are just soooo fake.'"
"Usually embroiled in drama nonstop and their personality is about as deep as an inflatable toddler pool."-inducedjoy
Def The Kid Who Said "DIDNT WE HAVE HOMEWORK?!"
"Calls all mandatory meetings at 4:30 on Fridays."
"She will also push those meetings last minute to 5:30 because she's on client calls and regularly schedules stuff at noon because 'that's when everyone is available, you can just have lunch later.'"
"No, we can't... The one hour we're all available is lunch is because we're busy the other working hours of the day. The lack of respect for the team's time is wild."
"When we suggested maybe noon and 5:30 weren't great times for all hands meetings that should have been an email, she started scheduling them for 7:30am to respect our time. So considerate."-A_giant_dog
This Is Just Rude
"I was hanging out with the cute co-worker in the dining room between service. I guess the sunlight was shining on me, and she says, 'Y'know Bokb, I really love how you have such bright blue eyes and brown hair!'"
"I simply nodded and smiled really big, and she continues: 'I bet you were really handsome when you were younger.'"
"Yeah, big oof."-Bokb3o
Like, when someone does or says these things, you can't help but think about how much you'd rather they just sink into the void of oblivion.
Not Worthy Of Accolades
"If a person makes a big deal out of doing something that they should be doing anyway."
"EG: 'I take care of my kids,' 'I always tell the truth,' 'I'm always on time for work,' 'I shower regularly' etc etc that person is best avoided. They're usually anything but what they claim to be."-Johhnymaddog316
Run Away! Run Far Far Away!
"I have a co-worker that will cut your story off mid sentence to one up you with their own story that's barely even related to the topic at hand."
"They are so self involved (and long winded) that people will see him in the break room, and decide to take the elevator to one of the other break rooms on another floor. Lmao..."
"To clarify; Most of his stories are about how awesome New Jersey/New York is and how stupid Washington Staters are."
"After a while of being made fun of by him, I just wanna scream 'If you love Jersey so much, then MOVE BACK TO JERSEY!'"-conflictmuffin
Yeah, Don't Be A Jerk To Retail Workers
"Yelling at a checkout clerk at Walmart."
"I mean like seriously what could they have done to you to make you that upset. Maybe you need some anger management training."
"This happened at the self check out lane so I don't know what the Walmart check out clerk could have even done. I was in the next lane and my back was to this woman so I didn't see what happened."
"But this women kept yelling at the clerk 'I want to talk to your manager right now !!!'"
"Eventually they both walked up to the service desk together to get a manager. I felt sorry for the clerk ( and the manager !)"-Tuesday2017
You Really Need A New Outlet, Bro
"I know a guy that radiates insecurity about his masculinity."
"Any times he sees a person park slightly too close to his car, he starts going off about hypotheticals where if they scratched his paint, he'd slash their tires or he'd pull out his collapsible baton from his trunk and beat them up."
"He generally lies about anything and wants everyone to know that he is the strongest person in the room. He once told us that he did 100 lb arm curls with his shoulder dislocated."
"And how he has to constantly fight his sister every time he goes home because she is always trying to stab him, and that's how he learned hot to knife fight."
"Of course he also get really angry any time you even hint that he is exaggerating. He no kidding once punched himself in the face 5 times and spent the rest of the day pouting when someone told him that they didn't believe his stories.
Needless to say, no one enjoys talking to him."-ExplosiveMel
A moment around these people is enough to want to spend a lifetime avoiding them.
Just The Worst Person Ever
"Overly competitive for no reason, even on co-op games. If you win they get butthurt, if they win they throw it in your face. Makes jokes at other people's expense. Also can't ever take a joke back."
"Never grew out of the middle school days of bulling (wet willies, bean dips, wedgies, etc). Yells in arguments of any sort in order to 'win' the argument or not letting the other person talk."
"Pretends like they have never done anything wrong, even if they just did 10 mins beforehand. Finds the most low self esteem person in a group and puts them down to make themselves feel better about themselves."
"Will literally say something along the lines of: 'Yeah I know I'm an a**hole, you can ask any of my friends.'"-AskinggAlesana
Always The Victim, Never The Perpetrator
"Had a boyfriend for years who's ex wife was constantly making 'new best friends' with everyone. I finally met her, she seemed nice enough. Next thing you know she's inviting me over, wants me to do all kinds of stuff with her."
"My bfs mom called me and said don't trust her. His brother said don't trust her. My stupid self trusted her."
"Our 'friendship' posted about two weeks before she called CPS on my kid for mooning her kid. They were both 7. She said 'What about the trauma my child and I suffered because of you and your child?'"
Leave It In High School Bub
"There was a guy I went to school with up until the end of high school, and everyone (even teachers) hated him. He would constantly annoy everyone."
"He'd start sh*t with people for absolutely no reason. He'd interrupt the class regularly. He tried to act tough but when someone stepped up to him, he'd run away. He was nearly universally disliked everywhere he went."
"I had the misfortune of running into him a few months ago and he's still the same sh*t disturber he always was."
"He hasn't grown up, and he tried dragging me into petty drama that I frankly don't have the time nor patience for anymore. I told him not to speak to me again, and blocked him on everything I could think of."-yeetgodmcnechass
These people are peppered throughout the world and thankfully, are walking red flags that people can spot from miles away. However, that doesn't mean you can't start with caution in case one of them is hiding amongst the "normal" people.
The victims, the drama stirrers, the jerks, the bullies-they aren't worth your time or space. Don't give it to them.