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Women Who Dated Someone They Thought 'I Can Fix Him' Explain What Happened

"Reddit user rest_in_war asked: 'Women who said "I can fix him", what happened?'"

A young woman hugs a young man on a nature trail, as an older couple walks away
Photo by Radu Florin

"I can fix them."

That is one of life's most dangerous sentences.

Love is going to turn out how it turns out.

We can help a significant other.

We can support them.

We can even guide them through the journey.

But fixing someone is not an option.

You can only fix oneself.

Plus, why would you want to fix someone?

Shouldn't we be interested in one another as we are?

Fixing someone implies that they're broken in a way you don't approve of.

That's not a great way to nurture love.

Redditor rest_in_war wanted to hear from the ladies out there about the guys they tried to change, so they asked:

"Women who said 'I can fix him,' what happened?"

If they need fixing, send them to a mechanic. (Therapist)

But don't wait around for the bill.

​Moving On

Seth Meyers Lol GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy

"With his newfound self-esteem, he left me for someone better."

CertainProgram8782

Over & Over

"Well, I failed at fixing him but learned a lot about myself in the process. I have no hate for him- if anything I hope every day he does the work to fix himself because I saw the potential and I did care for him once. I hate to think that he’ll just continue life repeating the same patterns over and over."

"I can say for myself, yes there was some damage done for sure! But I’ve never been the type to linger in my hurt. So, I learned a lot about myself, good and bad, and I’ve chosen to let the hurt go that he caused me and work on me. It’s been rocky here and there if I’m being honest- but if I could put that much effort and time into trying to fix someone else, why would I not do the same for myself?!?"

oreosaregarbage

Worse by the Day

"I didn't and he got crazier. No idea what has happened to him now and I don't care."

Comfortable-Ear-9186

Utterly Broken

"Well, my grandma said 'I can fix him,' ended up pregnant and alone. My mother never had a relationship with her biological dad (luckily my grandma met my grandad who then raised my mom). My mom said 'I can fix him,' and ended up alone with a baby. Was a single mom for 15 years. Luckily she's now married to my stepdad who's a great man."

"I said 'I can fix him' and tried my best and wasted 4 years of my youth. LUCKILY I didn't have kids with him, but he wanted to. I came out the other side utterly broken and it took quite a few years to repair myself. My self-confidence is still nonexistent, even though I've been married to a great man for 15 years."

"So, one word of advice; don't."

NamillaDK

Poison Spreads

"Ended up broken too."

ramonapap1

"Reminds me of that tweet that goes something like, 'I convinced my therapist to confront her husband about not liking her tweets. She may not be able to fix me, but at least I can make us both worse.'"

RilohKeen

A plan like this can only lead to self-harm.

We deserve more.

For the Better

Valentines Day Love GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy

"I was the one who was fixed. My husband helped me work through my trauma and got me into therapy after we got married. I learned to take accountability for my actions and became much more honest with him. when we got together, I was absolutely aimless, but now I have a genuine plan for my future and I'm so excited to work hard with him in creating a comfortable and happy life together.

"I have always wanted to change for the better and wanted more for my life but he was certainly the push I needed to get there. He's been such a fantastic influence on me and I can never thank him enough for being my rock; I can only hope to repay him for everything he's done for me."

jwannnnn

Clean it Up

"I actually did 'fix him' while we were together- cleaned up (haircuts and regular shaving, clothes that actually fit, etc) and got him a job. The week after I helped him get his own apartment he cheated on me. He almost immediately reverted to how he was before, last I saw he was back to baggy pants and homeless man hair/facial hair. Lost his job and apartment and the girl left him... lol."

Interesting_Worth570

Closed Off

"Well, I am completely emotionally unavailable, and I no longer wish to give people my heart like that again."

NocturnalNess

"I know how you feel because I’ve been in that boat before. Please, when the right person comes along, do not be afraid to open up again. Those scars will ruin future relationships if you don’t let them heal. And all that’s obviously to say is let yourself be ready and don’t rush it. It gets better."

Merkaba_987

Back to my country...

"I was the one who was fixed."

"I met an exchange student when I was 19, and dropped out of college (was failing anyway) to follow her to her country. After about a year there, I was so head over heels in love I was sure I’d marry her. There was no way I was going to be a good husband with no job prospects, not knowing her language, etc."

"I went back to my country to get a menial job in a factory, get myself back into school, study her language, make something of myself. Whereas I was failing out of college when I left, I ended up getting a 4.0 when I went back."

"She flew to see me a few times and the last time broke up with me. I was devastated. But the fire had already been lit and I feel I’ve been quite successful in life over the last 25 years, and I am so thankful for her influence."

ThicccNhatHanh

Getting Wild

Lets Go Reaction GIF by Mason RamseyGiphy

"He left me because the grass was greener. I built him up so much that he was sure he could do better and go out to 'sow his wild oats.' 10 years later and he's close to 40 still living at home and hasn't had a girlfriend since."

happyele

What have we learned?

We can only fix ourselves.

And it's ok that love doesn't always conquer all.

Weird Jobs Almost No One Knows About That Pay Surprisingly Well

Reddit user Rynoop asked: 'What are weird jobs nobody knows about but they pay well?'

woman writing on notes on window
Magnet.me on Unsplash

Growing up, kids talk about the jobs they want as adults.

Once they become adults, they select career paths or cycle through a variety of jobs.

Most people find mainstream jobs, but some luck into really unique professions.

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We've all made our fair share of mistakes; it's in our nature, honestly.

Sometimes we mess up so badly, it can ruin other things in our lives, like important relationships or our jobs.

But some people have messed up so badly at work that they lost their jobs in record time.

Ready to hear the tea, Redditor mango-chocolate asked:

"What's the quickest way you saw a coworker get fired?"

Check Your Pride

"In my old law office, a firm-wide email was sent out announcing the arrival of a new employee. We will call him Paul."

"So Paul decided to reply-all to let all of us know that he was aware of our recent legal defeats, that many people should be fired for these failures, and that his hiring was the first good thing our firm had done in years."

"The dude was a legal assistant right out of college with no experience."

"A minute after the email went out, I heard a crazy shout and then watched one of the senior partners run past my office towards HR (Human Resources)."

"And five minutes later Paul walked past with the HR manager and a security escort. He lasted less than 45 minutes."

- Left_Apparently

Lotto Fraud

"I worked at a lotteries company. A guy working in testing got access to production data and printed off some test tickets with some unclaimed winning numbers."

"He only did low amounts, like 500 dollars, and claimed three of them in three completely different locations around town."

"Of course, the company was interested in the story of someone who found a six-month-old lottery ticket and claimed it, but they were even more interested to find it was the same person going to three locations."

"Needless to say, when they realized the guy actually worked in the company, he got pulled into a room with cops a-waiting him."

- ThroughTheHoops

Weird Brag

"I worked at a bank, we were robbed at gunpoint. One of the tellers was quick to tweet out, 'Woooo, got the rest of the day off!! Feel free to visit me at work with a gun and ski mask anytime!'"

"They were fired upon walking in the next morning."

- seastrat

Totally Stopped Production

"An id**t pressed the emergency stop for fun on his second day at work."

"The emergency stop that he hit switches off all drives on the 100-meter-long paper machine. This means there is a loss of production for three to four hours for the entire paper mill."

"He was immediately escorted from the factory premises by two colleagues."

- daHawkGR

No Point Taking That Test

"I had a coworker get picked for a random drug test. She went back to her desk to grab her purse, and just left the building, never to return."

- brytewolf

Yes, That's What We Meant

"The boss sat her down to talk about her recent behavior at work."

"She whipped out her phone and started taking a video, saying that it was her right to record for 'when it goes to court.'"

"The boss said, 'Okay, this is the kind of stuff I’m talking about, you’re fired.'"

"This was at a Domino’s Pizza."

- kenb99

New Definition for "Side Hustle"

"Evidently, they robbed a bank on their lunch break."

"They came back like nothing happened, and then the cops showed up and took him down. It was crazy."

- Bob_the_Brewer

Quite the First Impression

"Pulling into the parking lot on the first day, she ran into a light pole that took out electricity to the whole site."

"She wasn't wearing a seat belt and was thrown into the front window."

"When we went out to see what had happened, she reeked of booze and there were empty liquor bottles in the back of the car."

"She never even made it to the front door, got a guest badge, or started her orientation training."

- LowBudgetViking

Haunting Upcharges

"When I was in high school, I used to do seasonal work at haunted houses which I did for four years."

"A new guy that they hired was supposed to help with parking. Now, in the three years that I worked at this haunted house, they never once charged people for parking (it was a very dark parking lot off of a cliff so had to make sure no one drove off of it trying to park)."

"This cheeky son of b***h started charging people five dollars to park."

"It was only found out after someone complained because they didn't have the money to go in with their friends because they had to pay for parking. I think the guy was only there a couple of hours before he got fired."

- rpgmomma8404

Missed the Training

"They got hired and then fell asleep during a meeting their first day and were asked not to come back."

- Snowstorm-3

"Same here. At a tech company, they hired a new developer, and the owner caught him napping at a desk on day one when he was supposed to be reviewing training materials."

"The owner had a chat with him, and told him whatever the reason, it was really bad form to fall asleep on the job on the first day."

"The new hire apologized, understood, and went back to the training materials. Not 20 minutes later, the owner walks by again and the guy is passed out once again, so he walked over, woke him up, and told him he was fired and to get out."

"I don't even think he made it to his fourth hour of employment."

- badtz-maru

Highly Questionable Explorations

"Early in my career I was an engineer at a refinery in the UK, and I was in charge of the QC lab. By law, we had to have external independent testing on the refinery fuel products to confirm they complied with government regulations."

"It seemed getting a job for the testing company was that you had to be an adult and had a driving license. The lab had a lot of very nasty chemicals either being tested or used in the testing or cleaning of the oil products."

"A new young girl turned up for the testing company and was dipping her finger into a chemical called phenol and stating that 'it makes your hand and arm go numb.' Phenol is a severe muscle relaxant (including your heart) and can kill you at very low concentrations."

"One hour into her employment we had paramedics on the scene monitoring her vitals and was released after eight hours. She didn't last the first hour of the first day and the testing company was fined pretty heavily."

- Nerdymcbutthead

AKA: Paid to Advertise

"A guy got hired in the first firm I ever worked for. He turned up for his first morning at work, and within an hour he had emailed the entire company (6,000 people) about his band and their availability for birthdays, weddings, etc."

"He was dismissed by lunchtime."

- BDATriangle001

"So he got paid half a day's wage to advertise his band to 6,000 people?"

"Man's a freaking genius."

- Oakcamp

Not-So-Quiet Quitting

"One day, Tim announced that he wasn’t paid enough and was going to basically sit at his desk doing nothing until he was paid what he wanted."

"20 minutes later, the boss walked in and asked Tim if he could have a word with him."

"Five minutes later, the boss walked back in and announced that Tim no longer worked there and if there were any questions."

"There were no questions."

- Few_Horse4000

Don't Be That Guy

"Interviewed a guy that was replacing someone who was leaving. Offered the job and was supposed to start the next day."

"Just so happened that we were having a going away party for the leaving dude that night so new guy was invited as a chance to 'get to know the team.'"

"The new guy shows up and proceeds to get absolutely s**t-faced and asked the head of HR if she wanted to go back to his place because he 'got a vibe' during the interview process."

"Next day, the new guy was a no-show so we were thinking bullet dodged. He showed up just before lunch clearly hung over making up some excuse for being late."

"The big boss came out and told the guy to get the f**k out."

- tizod

Optional Hours? Optional Employment.

"I fired someone who decided her second day that she was going to go out to lunch and not come back. The next morning she told everyone all about the shopping she did. She seemed confused about the expectations."

- dunwerking

Some of these stories are absolutely worth shaking our heads over, while others are truly shocking.

It's crazy the lengths people will go to in the workplace, despite the expectations that had already been clearly set.

If you view the rules as optional, your boss might view your employment as optional, too.

A doctor
Austin Distel/Unsplash

We all have our bad days that can be completely debilitating.

Some days are worse than others and can lead to mental breakdowns.

For most of us, these moments are fleeting, and we can greet the next day with a fresh start and mindset.

But that luxury doesn't always apply to everyone.

Imagine those who perpetually experience such an extreme frequently, maybe even daily.

Curious to hear of various diagnoses of the mind, Redditor MeepingBad6699 asked:

"Mental professionals of reddit, what is the worst mental condition that you know of?"

There are patients who are convinced they are no longer with us but are still able to articulate it.

Dead But Alive

"Cotard delusion. I'm a nurse and had to take care of a huge man with this condition. He came in with some odd behavior and escalated to Cotard. The delusion makes you think you are actually dead. He would scream he was dead all day and night. Lived in constant terror. He was such a sweetheart, but became so worn down and terrified over time he got quite dangerous and punched a nurse in the face."

– bbourke0626

Unalive Patient

"I had a patient check into the ER with this once but I didn’t know the name, she just kept claiming she was dead. She got baker acted and transferred."

– Dimwit00

Rude Awakening

"Also a nurse. I had a couple patients get ICU delirium that presented with them believing they were dead. Definitely not a fun time."

"I mean it sorta makes sense. Being in the ICU can be comparable to torture with the sleep deprivation, constant beeping and other noises, lots of pain and other physical discomfort, the thirst and hunger (thirst and hunger are very psychological so even if we give someone nutrition through a feeding tube or IV, your brain still freaks out because you're not eating or drinking). And so for some people, if you wake up, don't know where you are and you feel like you're being tortured, reasonable enough to assume you are in hell."

– PaxonGoat

Statistics Say

"Wow. So according to the DSM 5 there have only been 200 cases since this condition was identified (how long ago, I want to say 1800s). Anyway, I just found a new study from 2022 that says that about 1% of patients with schizophrenia are now reporting this delusion. Which, as the authors point out, is a significant increase. I wonder what has changed in the decade since the DSM 5 was published that is driving this uptick?"

"It is especially odd when you consider that people actually used to believe that dead people could come back to life, even designing coffins and burial practices around this belief because it was so commonplace. You’d think if anything the condition would be becoming less frequent and not more. Interesting."

– DarthMomma_PhD

Severe memory loss is one of life's cruelest symptoms.

Losing A Sense Of Self

"Dementias."

"Watching a person, their memories, their personality die but their body remain living and confused, is horrifying..."

– Sacu_Shi_again

"Terrifying Prospect"

"My grandma has dementia (she can barely talk right now, but she's still physically healthy, somewhat) and a lot of my closely related family died due to Alzheimer's. Granted they acquired it / started showing severe symptoms when already quite old (early to late 80s), but it's still a terrifying prospect to know that I'll probably die in such a way. I hope that when the time comes, and it starts to affect me in a significant way, my wishes will be respected and I'll be euthanized. Both to spare me the horrors of it, and to not be a depressing burden to those around me."

– pale_sand

Warning Signs

"My grandma had it and now my dad is constantly complaining that he's forgetting things/can't remember anything. He's not even 60 yet."

– antisocialarmadillo1

Eating disorder was another horrific mental condition Redditors mentioned.

Hosting A Non-Existent Parasite

"Delusional parasitosis comes to mind with this prompt. I’ve watched a patient go to well over a dozen doctors trying to get confirmation that they’re parasite ridden. After countless stool samples, blood work, labs, scans, biopsies, etc., she clearly didn’t have any but remains convinced."

– Blahaj_shonk_lover

Side Effect

"A friend of my mom's ended up with something like this after getting into the wrong kinds of drugs."

"She was convinced that there were little bugs in her face. Absolutely convinced. She'd pick at her face day and night."

"She got clean for a little while, came to her senses, and stopped picking. But the damage was done, her entire face was scarred."

– ShiraCheshire

Alzheimer's hits too close to home.

I've known so many people related to or knowing someone with mental illnesses resulting in severe memory loss and it is heartbreaking.

Now a family member was just diagnosed and it's a lot for me to process it. It's not just the individual suffering. Their loved ones truly suffer too.

What I am learning, however, is to not take the present for granted. It's all we have.

Assortment of various food
Photo by Jimmy Dean on Unsplash

Whenever we go out to eat, be it at a fine dining establishment or a quick service window, some of us tend to wonder what the journey was for the food that we are looking at on our plates or in our take-out bags.

Many have similar thoughts when buying frozen or pre-packaged dinners at supermarkets.

The answers aren't always readily available, often because the food service industry will go to great lengths to keep them under lock and key. Well aware, most of the time, that current or former employees will spill the beans at one point or another.

Redditor Lilyxrx was curious to hear some of the most well guarded secrets of the food industry, leading them to ask:

"What’s a secret the food industry don’t want you to know?"

Next Time Your Craving Bananas Foster...

"The 'natural flavors' are just big jugs of glycerin with hyper concentrated flavoring in it."

"Banana flavoring is fairly flammable."

"Source: Worked in food manufacturing."- irony_in_the_UK·

Cholesterol Be Darned!

"Chef here."

"It’s salt and fat."

"If you have a question about anything it’s salt and fat."- LongRest

For Efficiency's Sake...

"Olive Garden makes all their necessary pastas for the whole day from 8-10am every morning."

"Partially cooked."

"So when an order comes through, they grab a serving of the needed pasta style and flash cook them in hot water."

"Also, it’s just the brand, Barilla."- Deerhunter86

Justin Bieber Food GIFGiphy

Before You Pay The Extra Money...

"Beekeeper checking in."

"There is no such thing as organic honey."

"I do not treat my bees with chemicals, but I have no idea where they get their nectar."

"A bee can fly up to three miles from a hive to get nectar."

"It is virtually impossible to guarantee they have not gotten nectar from a chemically treated source."- toad__warrior·

If You Ever Wonder What Makes It Taste So Good...

"Unless it’s a health conscious food joint you’re eating at, the food we serve is designed for maximum taste."

"It’s either dense with fat and sugar, or fat and salt "

"E.G. Those mashed potatoes you like?"

"Made with cream, butter, and salt."

"The quiche?"

"Made on cream, not milk."

"Etc, etc."- petuniasweetpea

Before You Start Bragging...

"Dragon fruit isn’t an exotic Asian fruit."

"It’s a cactus fruit, and as such are native to the Americas and can even be grown in the US."- ferretmonkey

dragon fruit GIF by Feliks Tomasz KonczakowskiGiphy

In Case You're Wondering why That Taste Is So Familiar...

"A lot of the processed cheese and cream cheese is all the same recipe we just switch the labels and packaging for the different brands we run."

"Source: I work in a cheese factory in a company that services 75% of America's domestic market."- anon5678903276

Another Reason To Have No Guilt Over Take Out...

"Well."

"I work at Dominos, and we are kept afloat by the people who don't coupon and pay full menu price."

"You people are the unsung heroes of labor."- LoweeLL

Unlike Any Chocolate...

"When I worked at a mass production bakery the chocolate for the chocolate covered doughnuts came in giant frozen blocks of 4x4 pieces and contained no actual chocolate what so over."

"When unfrozen it was like some sort of nasty smelling paraffin wax that I would break up with a hammer and place into a melter that would then pour over the doughnuts."- gil_beard

Chocolate Dessert GIF by HuffPostGiphy

What Do Orange Juice And Whiskey Have In Common?

"The reason orange juice tastes consistently the same year round, even though it's a crop harvested once a year, is because citrus oils and citrus flavor are added back to different batches and blended all together."

"Similar to how whiskey is blended from multiple barrels to make it consistent."

"The difference is that even though extra stuff is added back into the OJ, it doesn't need to be labeled because the flavors contain all ingredients from oranges (FTNF-from the named fruit) so the FDA doesn't mandate labeling additional ingredients."- PensiveDoughnut

Does That Explain Their Shape?

"Pringles (and baked Lays/similar) are made of rehydrated and compressed rejected/excess parts of potatoes that go into regular chips."

"I learned that from my dietician at work and thought that was odd."

"I still like them over regular chips."- bluesasaurusrex

A Secret Better Not Known...

"The 11 herbs and spices secret recipe."- NemoTheOneTrueGod

Food Pouring GIF by Great Big StoryGiphy

Just Pop It In The Fryer...

"I was a young lad working at Church's Fried Chicken during the summer, many years ago."

"The owner refused to throw out chicken that had already gone bad; to the point where you'd gag if you smell them."

"Apparently if you batter them bad boys up and deep fry them, the rancid smell goes away."

"His customers never knew they were eating spoiled chicken."- Dirt_E_Harry·

Sweet... But Safe!

"The amount of sugar that goes into Costco bakery products is absurd, especially the apple pie."

"That being said; Costco does not f*ck around when it comes to food safety."

"Every area that is responsible for producing food is most likely cleaner than a white room for producing computer parts."

"There are virtually zero roaches, we found one in the bakery once and shut it down until the exterminator did his thing that very night."

"Someone returned a package of dinner rolls because their child had bit into one and a sharp piece of metal was in it, within less than 2 minutes every manager in the building was doing an investigation that led all the way up to the regional manager and his boss for several hours and determined that it had come off of a piece of machinery before it reached our location."

"We throw away rotisserie chickens if they have left (even for a few minutes) the shelf and someone tries to put it back."- Deathnachos

Costco GIF by hero0fwarGiphy

We'd like to think that everyone who works in the food industry shares the same high standards.

But, as in any industry, there are those out there who will cut corners for speedier results.

On the bright side, it does save you the trouble when deciding what cream cheese to buy...