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Heterosexuals Share Questions They've Always Wanted To Ask The LGBTQ+ Community

Heterosexuals Share Questions They've Always Wanted To Ask The LGBTQ+ Community

The straights and the gays are starting to coexist peacefully throughout society. The past two decades have seen landmark changes for LGBTQ+ people worldwide. While some countries certainly are behind the curve, the global conversation surrounding LGBTQ+ people is changing.

With that marked difference in the way we go about everyday life, questions are bound to come up. And where the straights have questions, us LGBTQ+ folks certainly have answers.

u/That_one_weirdo69 asked:

Heterosexuals of Reddit, what is a question you have for the LGBTQ+ community?

Here were some of those discussions.

Adopted Language?

I am a healthcare provider and when going through your social history if you are married or in a long-term relationship and you tell me you have a "partner" is that for my comfort or do you really prefer referring to them as your partner?


Lots of people where I live are adopting this wording as well so you really don't know whether or not they're gay, straight, married, or just together. I think it's a lovely umbrella term and helps with people being more accepting of all types of relationships just by not immediately jumping to any conclusions about the couple.


Can't Always Get What You Want

For those who were questioning or came out in close relationships: what kind of support did you need/look for? (Edit to expound from just romantic, to any close relationships)


When I (m) came out as bi to my college girlfriend, I made sure to tell her that I was happy in our relationship, didn't want to experiment while I was in a relationship with her, and that I just wanted her to know everything about me.

She cried for a week. So, don't do that.

Spoiler alert: she came out as a lesbian five years later and is now married to a woman.

EDIT: I suppose I should mention that she was the first person I came out to, so I wasn't necessarily "keeping" my bisexuality from her; I just hadn't come to terms with it yet.


Your Person Comes First

Do some bisexuals who want to have kids tend to favor relationships with the opposite sex because it makes it just so much easier?


I am a bisexual man and would like to have kids someday. I've seriously dated both men and women, but I just happened to find "my person" in my fiance who is a gay man. I guess I'd rather spend my life with him and adopt children than get hung up on needing biological children with a woman.

Passing down my crooked teeth gene and a family history of depression probably wouldn't do my kids service, anyway!


These questions serve to close the gap between people.

Coming Out Is Hard To Do

At work I am in a position where people under me sometimes tell me deeply personal things. Not a counselor or HR. Sometimes they may not directly report to me but I've mentored them in some way so they still come to me.

If a person comes out to me as gay or trans I straight up don't care - in the sense that if I'm not sleeping with you your sexual life/identity is none of my business and it doesn't affect my opinion of or relationship with you.

But I can tell when someone tells me about themselves that it's often a big deal to them to say it.

I definitely sometimes get the feeling they're afraid they might be judged. So what's a correct way for me to respond? I don't want to give the impression that I don't care about them as a human being, it's just that ... dude, I don't care.


I've always responded with "Thank you for trusting me enough to share that with me," and it seems to be well received. It acknowledges that it's a big deal to say it out loud and that they're vulnerable in that moment.


Tee Hee

I'd like to ask the other LGBTQ+ people when they received their copy of the gay agenda and when I can expect to receive mine.


If you came out between July 2019 and now, it was delayed due to COVID. You typically get your copy in the first Pride after you come out, but the planning meeting for last year got canceled because of the pandemic, so there isn't an agenda for this year



Trans men: my brother recently came out as trans.

Having thought of him most of my life as my sister and not my brother obviously required a shift in thinking on my part. I was his best man when he was still figuring himself out and identified as a gay woman and married his female partner of 10 years, which I was honored to do.

I love and respect him and we've gotten pretty close over the past decade or so, but I wasn't sure how to talk at first. Not really sure what to do I started addressing him the way I would any of my other guy friends, for example I'll text him a video I know he'll like with a "Dude, check this out" or check up with a "Hey man, how's things?"

Am I doing it right? I want to make sure I respect his identity but I don't want that sense of family connection to be lost either.


I agree that you're doing it right, but one small thing you can also do is just ask him what he would prefer. He's still your sibling, and I'm sensing you guys have a positive relationship, so it's okay to outright ask him how he would prefer you to talk to him. It may be as simple as just changing pronouns, without trying to "bro it up" just for his sake. Communication is key.

Make sure you guys are on the same page and you'll be fine. If he were a coworker or friend or acquaintance, I would steer away from outright asking, but for close friends and family, sometimes it's best to just be honest, open, and vulnerable with the people you trust. Find out what he is looking for or feels comfortable with, and go from there.


Mom's Support

My 13 son has confided in me that he is attracted to other boys. He has his first semi real partner. I say semi real because he is 13, not because of the gender of the partner.

His mother is not a part of his life. After all the back story, my question is what can I do to help him and how can I be the most supportive? I have reassured and validated him.

I have also told him how much I love him regardless of anything. I have made sure to explain to him that he is amazing and there is nothing wrong with the way he feels. Thanks in advance everyone.


Try to learn more about lgbt+ and the issues they face. You don't have to treat your son differently, but arming yourself with knowledge can help you find advice for issues that might lie ahead, and what things to look out for that you might not have thought about.

Don't let friends or partners use gay as an insult. Or lean on gay stereotypes. Show that you're willing to support your son and tell off those who would perpetuate behavior that is actively hurtful to lgbt+ people.

Learning more about lgbt in your area and in general can only help you in learning how to support your son going forward.


We learn more about each other through curiosity, so these questions are necessary.


If a bi person ends up with a straight person is that looked down upon in the community?

I'm a female and I've dated bi guys before but I'm completely straight and I've had a couple of people tell me that that's wrong of me that only two bi people can date, and that me being straight means that I'm stealing away someone from the LGBTQ+ community.


okay first of all whoever told you only two bi people can date is definitely wrong lmao

But to your main point, bi people in straight relationships can be looked down on by the community, yeah. That's biphobia. It's fairly common, unfortunately, and comes from a place of ignorance, since someone being in a heterosexual relationship doesn't make the person any less bi. It's kind of the whole idea that they like both.


Checking In On Language

As a straight person, am I allowed to use the "Q" word? I grew up in the 80s and it was considered a slur, as bad as the F word, and for that reason I feel weird using it.

But it seems like it's been reclaimed and is an umbrella term, as someone said on the thread already. Should I use it in that sense as well to respect someone's term for themselves, or is it is a word straights should still consider off-limits? Thank you!


I'm queer and I would personally say it's fine is that person refers to themselves as queer. I know some older LGBTQ+ people don't like being referred to as queer because they grew up with it as a slur, so I would just use that word if that's how they refer themselves.


A Question Of Conduct

How would you feel about straight friends going with you to something like pride? I had a friend who had recently come out, and they very much so didn't want us to come (we'd already had plans to go with different friends) because they thought we (the two straight friends) would be intruding.

We just wanted to go, have a good time, and support our friends. But the newly out friend was very much against it, so we ended up just not going (even though we would have been with a different group.)

It just made me feel kind of sh*tty, but I also don't want to going into someone's safe space. As an ally, am I intruding? I don't want to over step.


It depends. Some friends, it's fine. Others, quite frankly I don't want to be tour guides. If you can have fun at Pride on your own, go ahead, but I don't want to be a chaperone.

Maybe your friend wants to go check out the leather building, or a booth for a nudist camp, or look for sexy clothing, or try to hook up. You might just be cramping their style. Particularly if you have to travel for it. Give them the chance to get drunk and hook up, instead of feeling like they have to hang out with you all day.


It's inspiring to see straight people asking how to handle themselves in queer spaces.

What are some questions you straights have for us LGBTQ+ folks?

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley


"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt


"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."


"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."


Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."


"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip


"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User


– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"


Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."



"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."


Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."



The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."


This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.



"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."



"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”



"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"


"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"


The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."


Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."


Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.


"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.