Alita Brydin of Melbourne, Australia, was recently the victim of a failed Tinder date. After a news source picked up her story, she went viral in a totally unexpected way.
Alita's failed dating story is not unlike many of the stories we have heard before or even experienced ourselves. She matched with a guy on Tinder who she was convinced was the man of her dreams. Since he lived a few hours away, he and Alita began a long-distance romance.
They bonded over movies and food in a way that made Alita believe he was in it for the long haul.
The messages we exchanged were personal, intimate, yet so mundane. My phone was filled with pictures of his cooking—he took me on the step by step journey of making pasta—selecting the ingredients, making the dough, working the half-falling-apart pasta maker. He took pride in his cooking—and I saw it as a sign that he was a man ready to make a home.
Finally, her man was going to be in town and the moment had arrived to meet face to face.
The day finally came. I saw him confidently approaching me, striding past the Asian grocer, the dingy Chinese takeout. Without saying a word he laid his lips on me, laid his palm on my lower back and kissed me. It was happening. Everything was coming together.
It seemed as though Alita's fairy tale was finally coming true.
But the next morning, she woke up to a text message that said:
Stay away from my boyfriend.
Mr. Right was actually Mr. Wrong. He had allegedly met his real girlfriend after he and Alita matched on Tinder. The girlfriend, however, claimed the relationship was serious enough that they had met each other's parents, made plans to move in together, and even bought a ring. Alita decided this woman's story was enough to cut off Mr. Wrong completely.
But it wasn't her tale that caught the internet's attention.
When Daily Mirror picked up her story, they cleverly titled it, "Woman's perfect Tinder date with 'The One' shattered by five simple words."
Woman's perfect Tinder date with 'The One' shattered by five simple words https://t.co/XuWMQB7FyP https://t.co/9js9ZYGmJx— Daily Mirror (@Daily Mirror)1537262458.0
The mystery of the five simple words took Twitter by storm. Now, Alita's relatively typical Tinder tale has gained attention across the globe because people are guessing what those five words could possibly be.
The results are hilarious.
"The robots are taking over." https://t.co/CcTsp3Q6jy— Scott Winship (@Scott Winship)1537365566.0
Several people thought the deal-breaking words referred to his...manhood.
"Hope you like Toad dicks" https://t.co/dHYmC7gdpP— Jezzer (@Jezzer)1537313497.0
Yeti pubes, Mushroom shaped penis https://t.co/HPuuEuiehP— Zetetic Elench (@Zetetic Elench)1537280378.0
@DailyMirror I drink my own manmuck— Rachel Hawkins (@Rachel Hawkins)1537275201.0
Others felt his downfall was surely more technical.
"I'm mouse-dependent in Excel" https://t.co/nErfnudGY7— Brendan (@Brendan)1537295157.0
@DailyMirror "HTML is a programming language."— Nottherealalanturing (@Nottherealalanturing)1537281880.0
"I think correlation means causation" https://t.co/EWtjN52Qoo— Sam Tromans (@Sam Tromans)1537290899.0
And, of course, others were convinced it was political.
@DailyMirror Harambe was an inside job— Ambrose (@Ambrose)1537292374.0
@DailyMirror My name ? Paul Joseph Watson.— upsetter (@upsetter)1537282216.0
@DailyMirror "Nigel Farage is the Messiah"— Jane #LookB4WeLeave #FinalSay (@Jane #LookB4WeLeave #FinalSay)1537271643.0
@DailyMirror “Jordan Peterson changed my life.”— Andy Kosinski (@Andy Kosinski)1537287297.0
And would a meme be complete without a proper 2000s reference?
@DailyMirror “My favourite band is Nickelback”— Lindsey Bowers (@Lindsey Bowers)1537289167.0
Better luck next time, Alita.