In this day and age, with the state of the world what it is... it's a miracle people aren't sobbing at every gas pump, cash register and red light.
Tears are healthy.
Unless they're being used for manipulation or a tantrum.
We release emotion with our tears.
And one of the most emotional places to be is at work.
That can be a sobfest.
So what is the best way to help in that situation?
Let's compare notes and tissue brands.
Redditortiredoflandwanted to hear about the times they had to deal with emotions at work.
"How do you handle people crying at work?"
I have cried many a time over the years. Especially when waiting tables. A hug always helped.
Condolencessix feet under GIF by HBOGiphy
"As a funeral director, I tend to just touch them on their arm and hand them tissues. And stay quiet."
Cry on Me
"I usually provide a tissue. I often get hugged. My last job, we had a meeting and one of the people in the meeting, well, she seemed off. Everyone filed out and I kind of lingered, asked, 'Hey, is there something wrong you want to talk about?' Boom, waterworks, she had to put her cat down this morning, etc. I am the guy in the office people cry on, I guess."
to a science...
"I'm a teacher, so it's a near daily occurrence for me. I have a jar full of candy - usually chocolate- on my desk (the kids call it sad candy), a chair, and a big round plush bird toy just the right size for hugging. His name is Sherbert, cause he's colored like rainbow sherbet. They can talk it out with me or just cry in silence if they'd rather, but I just sit with them until they're ready to re-join the world. It's sad, but I have this crap down to a science."
The Stress of It All
"I work for a 911 center, you better believe there is crying. Especially when an employee is new and they give CPR to an infant and its not a positive turnout, someone kills themself while you are talking to them on the phone. Pretty soon your heart and soul die and you can deal with it, but something especially awful happens and it hits you. I have been doing it for 28 years and have seen plenty people come and go, who couldn't handle the stress?"
"In the veterinary industry, unfortunately, if you notice a co-worker is or has been crying, usually you pretend not to have noticed, maybe ask them nonchalantly if they can do something for you that isn't client-facing for a while like fill prescriptions, and don't bring it up later unless you're friends outside of work."
"Everybody cries at work at some point, and it's not even usually about a sick/dying animal. If a client is crying though, you have to be sensitive, empathetic, comforting, gentle, offer them privacy and condolences without smothering them."
"Clients cry for the reasons you expect, and of course it's hard to see them through it, because dealing with a sick or dying pet is hard. Staff will often shed a tear in these appointments too, but most often when a co-worker is crying it's because another person went out of their way to hurt them. Be kind to your veterinary staff folks, we feel pain too."
People do seem to cry a lot. Makes sense, I do.
I'm HereTell Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy
"'Is there anything I can do?' Then just listen. Often the listening is enough."
"I work in healthcare, so this happens quite frequently. Usually it’s patients. Most often, people just want their feelings validated and that someone understands them. That’s all. Being empathetic goes a long way."
"Yes! Empathy truly goes a long way!"
"Saw a chick crying at work, sitting outside. Half wanted to ask her if she was ok but when someone is crying hard sometimes they just want to be left alone in their feelings and it must be embarrassing enough to cry at work, so I left her alone and kept walking."
He is Awful
"Many years ago I (male) was having an extended discussion with a female coworker about something technical and I noticed that she would periodically start crying during our talk. I was so dense that I thought (perhaps out of intended politeness) that I should just ignore this and go on."
"For some reason I have often thought about this and reflected on the fact that it would have been much more humane to at least ask her if she was OK, if she would prefer to talk later, if she would like to talk instead about what was upsetting."
"Later I heard from someone else that she had travelled to the area from another state with her boyfriend. He had a job at another company nearby that was expanding rapidly and she had received the news that he was already cheating on her with multiple coworkers."
"I follow the golden rule so I ignore them, pretend not to see them, and later talk to them normally like nothing happened, because that is what I want in their position."
"Same! I tend to get more upset if someone checks on me, because now I'm embarrassed and feel exposed on top of what's causing me to cry in the first place. Since I never want to be the cause of that, I won't ever approach someone in that state."
There is no perfect way to comfort somebody. You just do it. Or apparently... look away.
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On occasion, all of us look in a mirror and wish there was something about our physical characteristics that was different.
Being a few inches taller, having a different hair color, maybe a smaller nose.
But then, as we continue to stare at our reflection, we might suddenly realize there are some things about ourselves which we don't mind at all.
In fact, we might even be proud of our eye color, the shape of our ears, or having an enviable jawline.
For most people, finding their best attribute might not be so difficult to determine, owing to slim pickings.
But for those blessed with good genetics, choosing their best physical trait might be a bit more difficult.
Redditor askredditiscool was curious to hear what people with enviable genetics considered their best physical quality, leading them to ask:
"People who have 'won the genetic lottery' what qualities do you have?"
Come and get me!
"I'm not allergic to mosquito spit."
"So they bite me and I feel the pin prick, but I never get that red swollen itchy-as-hell welt."
"I also apparently taste bad enough to them that they will go for anyone else in the area before me."
"Ticks, on the other hand, will hunt me for f*cking miles."- open_door_policy
Million Dollar Smile
"No wisdom teeth!"
"The trade off is the ticking time bomb that is my cancer genetic..."- Opin88
"My teeth are nearly perfect."
"Whenever I switch dentists, they are a bit stunned at the first appointment."
"My husband hates me for it."- BilobaBabyHappy Dance GIF by benjamin lemoineGiphy
"I can actually lick my elbow."- Soulerous
"At age 72 I've fallen several times in the last few year, low blood pressure, and have never broken a bone in my life."- Duegatti
"O mio babbino Caro..."
"Perfect pitch."- HeliomobAnna Kendrick Movie GIF by Pitch PerfectGiphy
Pure blood indeed!
"Not a single blood related person who had or has cancer for at least 3 generations."
"Meaning parents, grand parents and grand grand parents and all their children and children's children."
"Or any other inheritable disease."- yohoho_99
Sleeping Beauty ain't got nothing on me...
"I inherited the Sleep Button gene from my grandfather."
"When I want to fall asleep, I just... do ...in a matter of minutes."
"I haven't struggled with falling asleep/waking up more than ten times in my entire lifetime."
"I can't nap for sh*t."- VertebrateCrossing
I got time...
"Not sure yet but like I may live a really long time."
"People on my mom's side just have exceptional lifespans."
"My great grandma got in a bad fire at age 45 and had third-degree burns everywhere."
"No one thought she'd recover or live very long."
"Out of pure spite for the husband she has been separated with for 23 years, she lived till she was 96."
"This was in India and she was upper lower-class."
"Meaning the healthcare was sh*tty."
"My great great grandpa lived till he was around 116."
"He maintained his capability and independence till the very end."
"In his last few years, he started to lose his eyesight and hearing but he still cooked his own food, bathed himself, did the house chores, etc."
"My grandpa is at 78 right now and he'll hopefully remain in good health."- a-lovelyy-ladyyOld Lady Dancing GIF by MattielGiphy
Some people are just born lucky.
True, it's what's inside that counts.
Which doesn't mean we don't still wish we had perfect teeth every now and then...
Self-awareness is a strong and admirable quality which far too few people have.
Particularly as those who are truly self-aware are often willing and able to admit when they're wrong, or if there is something about their personality which could, and probably should, be changed.
Truth be told, it doesn't take a great deal of self-awareness to realize and acknowledge your less than admirable traits.
More than likely, these are the things about ourselves that we've likely hoped we might change for a very long time.
Redditor sound-hub was eager to hear people share their least admirable qualities, leading them to ask:
"What's one bad trait about you?"
Give people some closure!
"I never finish the things that I"- BadAndNationwide
I just can't stop
"Having an addictive personality."
"If there's an activity or substance that triggers dopamine release, I'll probably take it to an extreme."- DeathSpiral321
I don't want to get out of bed..
"My laziness will be the death of me."- A_R_K_SKevin James Eating GIF by TV LandGiphy
I can't, I'll never be able to...
"Pessimism and lack of confidence."- Iamnothuman77
"I lack confidence."
"I constantly try to get reassurance or double checks on my decisions before making them."
"It has helped me to avoid making certain mistakes but I feel like if I was more confident in myself, I'd be better off."- HumbleOwl
I don't need the help, so stop asking!
"I’m too prideful."
"I don’t ask for help when I need it and make myself miserable powering through a sh*tty task or situation."
"It’s a problem."
"I’m trying to break myself of it."- like5or6
"I got no patience.. non.. nada."- shine_hunterWaiting Patiently GIF by General HospitalGiphy
Do you think they'll like it? Oh I hope they do...
"I’m too much of a people pleaser."- Positive-Help6449
I'd rather not say...
"I don’t talk."- TheCowOfArdonia
"I use sarcasm too often."- The_StankyBootMaggie Smith Sarcasm GIF by Downton AbbeyGiphy
It's brave to admit the things about yourself that could be improved.
But it's important that this is how you feel, and not how others perceive you.
Only then should you even begin to think about changing any part of yourself.
It's hard not to look back in life on some things we wish we handled them differently.
Some of these are relatively minor, like wishing we chose a different hotel on a vacation, or being a bit more friendly to certain people in middle school.
But sometimes, we look back on decisions we made, and wonder if our lives might be different had we not made certain decisions, or behaved in a certain way.
Redditor lillyrosebennet was curious to hear what the Reddit community regrets most in their lives, leading them to ask:
"What do you regret?"
Who care's what other people think?
"Putting my self worth into the hands of others."- scaryboilednoodles
Oh, what could have been...
"Not realizing this beautiful girl in high school was flirting with me."- South_Ad8256
Take your life and education seriously
"Not going to class nearly enough my freshman year of college."
"I dug myself a HUGE hole because I thought it was a better idea to drink on weeknights, play Starcraft, and hang out bullsh*tting in people's dorm rooms until 4am than actually attend lectures and do work."- DaisyCutter312
"Not taking my life seriously at a younger age."- ogue-Jedi
Learning more about others
"Not talking more to my grandma about her life."
"She's passed not long ago and even though I was there at least once a month in the last year, which is not so little regarding the distance, I just wish I had asked more about how she was like, when she was my age."
"She wrote a memoir and she has lots of diaries, but I think she started writing them later on."
"I was just so scared of making her relive her trauma."
"But I really miss her and I wish we could've had more time to talk."- MyCatIsUpsiideDown
There's a reason it didn't work
Going back to exes that treat me poorly just because it’s comfortable."
"It’s not my job to fix people or save morons from their own stupidity."
"It’s like I always think I can fix it when it’s clear they’re just toxic and incapable of healthy relationships."
"Then I feel even worse when it falls apart the second time."- SupportMoist
It's not so difficult to listen
"Not communicating enough in my relationship."
"My overthinking ruined it some more."- Ok_Moose235
Caring for my body
"Smoking cigarettes."- rowfeh
Missing the chance to make things right.
"The last words I said to my dad when I was 9, was 'I hate you'."
"It was over a stupid little misunderstanding."
"He passed away the next morning, and I will never forgive myself for that."- DismalSplit5792
Finding more lucrative employment.
"Getting a degree in a 'helping field' (therapy/social work) rather than getting one that pays well and helping others from that comfortable position."
"It's very difficult providing assistance and guidance for others when you can't afford to go to the doctor, the dentist, or even your own therapist, let alone ever afford a vacation or anything meaningful."- HiCommaJoel
It's hard not to have those "coulda, woulda, shoulda" moments in life.
But even if some things can't be changed or undone, it's important to remember that improving one's life can't be done looking back.
Instead, we have to learn from our past mistakes, to make wiser decisions moving forward.
Life can be a very dark place.
And the loneliness is often overwhelming.
It can be very difficult to reach out for help.
But it doesn't have to be that way.
If we pay attention to our own red flags we can make great progress sooner.
Redditor Specktakles88 wanted to share how we need to be aware of depression.They asked:
"What are some overlooked signs of depression?"
I suffer from depression on the daily. You're not alone.
"Being addicted to a distraction, because not being distracted is painful. Just leaving the room to go get water or do a chore is pain, because it takes you away from your distraction."
"That's me. It literally hurt to face my thoughts head on, so I always kept myself distracted in one way or another. I had to learn how to go to sleep while listening to stuff so that I didn't even have the time to think about things I didn't want to."
"Unfortunately that led to me awakening from my sleep in the middle of the night because I started facing these thoughts while dreaming and having a panic attack."
"Forgetting a lot. Your mind just becomes pre-occupied with depressing thoughts, or might even be empty. You don't have space to remember the things people tell you anymore."
"This, I'm missing big chunks of memories from my long depressive episodes. Some gaps are huge, I dated someone for 6 months in the midst of one and can't even remember his name. I was on the wrong medication too, it all felt like a dream. Very important to find the right medication and write important stuff down."
"Tiredness (often perceived as laziness) Struggling to make decisions Rushing into relationships Impulsive behaviour, spending eating etc."
"That rushing into relationships one really hit home. To me, a relationship could be an escape from the pit I feel myself in every day. But I rush into them so quickly that I loose my footing and fall right back in."
"Apathy. Numbness. Straight up not caring about sh*t. I've been told I come off as a very cold person when really I just feel numb and indifferent to everything/everyone sometimes. Or not caring about things that should be affecting me in some way."
"The numbness. I never hear people talk about this. When I was at a very low with depression, I was totally numb. People say being depressed can make you cry a lot, but I couldn’t cry at all. I desperately wanted to feel something, anything."
"Anger and/or irritability."
"This was my #1 symptom. The littlest thing (usually work related) would make me SO angry/irritated. Too bad it was 2yrs later before I learned that it could be a sign. Once I found out though - straight to the DR where I was set up with meds and a therapist."
"This is huge, and a lot of the time people will simply write you off as, 'just another a** hole.' I'm not a *ick, it's a disability."
So many simple signs.
"Not engaging in conversations. That's about it."
"This one hits. I’m constantly just not wanting to be involved in conversations even with my wife. She is my favorite in the world and I know it bothers her when I’m barely engaged."
"I stopped engaging in conversation because all of a sudden everyone started ignoring me and constantly interrupting me. I can’t talk when no one listens."
"Living in your bedroom."
"This is the one. Cannot believe this isn’t higher. To follow this with a sub-point: Living in your room and being really messy. Living in filth, dirt, old dishes, discarded food wrappers and dirty clothing is terrible for your state of mind."
"Overcompensation when it comes to jokes. Funny people who are depressed lose their sense of humor but try to force humor because it’s a part of their healthy personality. It often comes off as abrasive and forced which results in further isolation."
"OMG, I swear I used to be lightning quick with my quips and I was a naturally a joker. Now I feel like my jokes never come to me and I no longer talk to anyone because I feel dried up and useless. When I finally do talk, I still try to crack a joke but its very flat and I give up."
"Disinterest in almost everything. Making excuses for not doing things you normally like to do. Even if money is no issue ie going out to eat or going to see a movie, having absolutely no interest in doing anything or going anywhere."
Flags and Signs
"I’m seeing a lot of signs that I wanted to say but one I haven’t seen yet is being very indecisive about things. One may become very indecisive about the simples of things like what they want to do or even eat. This happens for various of reasons but from personal experience, it’s because one simply lacks enough care or have desire for anything at their lows."
"YES! I've had gut issues for like 20 years, many doctors visits found nothing. Once I found a SSRI that worked for me it also completely eliminated all of my gut issues instantly, was not expecting that!"
If any of this resonates with you please reach out for help.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/