Woman's Grandma Passes Away And Clingy GF's Need For Constant Communication Created Major Problems, And Now She's Not Sure How To Proceed
I mean. There's not much to say. If somebody's dead grandmother is an emotional threat, is it even worth having a fight?
u/sici24 laid out the crazy issue for us:
My grandma died and I feel like my girlfriend's behaviour towards me and my family was out of line [28/29F 2 year relationship]
Hi Reddit. Sorry this is all over the place. I'm pretty tired and upset, and am having a hard time getting my thoughts together..but here it goes.
My grandma (dad's mom) and I didn't have the greatest relationship. Basically my dad's family was super crazy rich and my mom's family is like upper middle class. So my grandma wasn't super thrilled with the marriage. She treats my mom differently than her other daughter/son in laws and this kind of trickled down to me and my brother being treated differently than our cousins.
My grandma wasn't outright mean to us, but it was kind of obvious she had favourites in the way that she didn't give us as good gifts as the other grandkids, she never bragged about our accomplishments to her friends, she'd tell me that I could lose some weight, etc. But I mean… she did still give us gifts, cook our favourite foods when she came to visit, came to our graduations, lots of hugs and kisses..so I feel like she did love us. She was also an old Asian lady, so some of her actions can be attributed to just her being of her generation. I guess it doesn't matter now, bottom line – I had things to complain about but in the end I do love my grandma.
My grandma was in the hospital and my dad knew that she was not doing so well, so he asked me to fly out to my hometown and see her. All of my cousins, aunts and uncles came as well and we had a really lovely family reunion (I am super close to my extended family, but we all live in different states in the US/provinces in Canada so we don't see each other much but it's always awesome when we do) and my grandma was so happy. My girlfriend and I already had plane tickets to visit my parents, so we actually ended up going back to hometown a couple of weeks after that. Grandma was still in the hospital and my girlfriend met her for the first time. She died about a week after we left and I flew out again to go to the funeral and wake. So I went there 3 times (twice alone, once with my gf) and each time I was just…not impressed with my girlfriend's actions
This was a last minute flight and was pretty expensive, so my girlfriend decided not to come with me. Also we thought it wouldn't be the best situation for her to meet my family for the first time. I was only gone for the weekend (left Friday night, came back Sunday afternoon) and my girlfriend was insistent that I text constantly, call her every night, Skype every morning. I tried my best to text her, but I didn't really want to be on my phone the entire time I was at the hospital visiting my grandma and also catching up with family I hadn't seen in a couple of years. It was evening and my phone was nearly dead. My grandma was asleep, so my brother and cousins and I decided to drive to the mall/grocery store. My girlfriend got so angry at me because I didn't call her at the hospital, I didn't call her while I was in the car (with 7 other people), my phone died and I didn't borrow someone else's phone to call her at the mall, etc. She then also kind of got mad at me for taking the opportunity while my grandma was asleep to have a good time with my cousins instead of calling/video chatting her. I skyped her the next morning and she was still livid and accused me of doing something that I would never do and was actually really insulting. Anyway I went back home the next day and she was still mad at me.
This visit was planned before my grandma got sick and my gf met my extended family for the first time. She hated every second of it. My cousins tried to include her by asking what food she'd like to eat so we could pick a restaurant and she just said that we (she and I) would go back to my parents house and eat there (there was no food, we ate cereal for dinner). When we were alone, she'd get mad at me for having fun, laughing, and singing with my cousins. She was sulky the entire time and at one point was in such a bad mood around my family that she said that when we got back home we were breaking up. It then de-escalated to we are never going to a family reunion type thing ever again. She would text her sister about how weird/creepy/embarrassing my family was and when my aunt and uncle celebrated their wedding anniversary, she insisted that we skip the lunch celebration and drive downtown instead.
A few days after we got home from the 2nd visit, my dad called me to tell me that my grandma had passed away that morning and if I could make it home that weekend for the funeral and wake and that my girlfriend was invited too, of course. She couldn't take more time off work and also couldn't afford the plane ticket, so I went by myself. My girlfriend never outright said I couldn't go, but it was obvious that she didn't want me to ditch her again. She said things like "You didn't even like your grandma that much why do you have to go to the funeral AND the wake". But screw that, even if I didn't like my grandma I would still want to be there for my dad and the rest of my family. At the funeral home (for the wake), I was texting her a bit and taking pictures of some of my grandma's stuff. I was also chatting with my cousins and my brother. We decided to go into the chapel (I didn't really have signal in here) and I saw my aunt really crying and sobbing and I went to go give her a hug. The wake then started and I took a seat at a pew for the mass and other things. It lasted about 1 ½ hours, and when I got out, I received a ton of messages that my gf had sent that I couldn't receive in the chapel. Basically she was mad at me for not texting her good night immediately before the wake started. I told her that I was in a chapel, so I didn't really have the chance to text her. She said that it only takes a few seconds to text "good night" so I should have taken my phone out during the church service and texted. But honestly…texting her good night was not the most important thing on my mind during my grandma's wake.
The next day was the funeral. I was telling my girlfriend that the shoes I had brought were dirty so I had to borrow my mom's shoes with heels. She then texted me "Wow, the image of you in heels is such a turn-off". Wtf I wasn't telling her that I was wearing heels to turn her on, I was just telling her something about my day. After the funeral, my cousins and I decided to go play a game of basketball. I called my girlfriend to talk to her and when she heard the sounds of the game in the background she got angry and accused me of "having fun". Am I not allowed to have fun? My grandma was super into family and loved having everyone together, so us playing a fun game of basketball would probably be exactly what she had wanted us to do.
This has gotten really long now. So I'll just end it here. What I need help from you guys is..did I do something wrong? Maybe my judgement is all clouded because my grandma died, I spent so much time with family, I had to fly back and forth across the country three times in a month. Am I completely missing my gf's side of the story? I honestly don't know what to think, but I know that I feel like crap.
TL;DR: My girlfriend gets mad at me for having fun with my cousins, she hates my family, got incredibly angry at me for picking my grandma's funeral over texting her.
Here was some of the advice he got.
Sounds like you're better off breaking up.
No respect whatsoever from your girlfriend. Especially when your grandma is sick and at her funeral. I'm so upset reading this. This is absolutely wrong.
Aside from the gold-digging potential you mentioned in one comment, the biggest issue I see for your future as a couple if that your gf doesn't have the same family values you do. It is clear she has no intention of being an integral part of the family that you love and are very close to. That on its own is a big deal breaker.
Your gf comes off as super controlling and doesn't seem interested in getting to know your family at all. The fact that she was angry at you for going to your grandma's funeral is a big red flag IMO and she doesn't seem to trust you at all. Do you ever feel like she's trying to keep you away from from family and friends?
She's an insensitive controlling brat and possibly a gold digger. A death in the family is when your partner is supposed to be at their most supportive and caring, not all this nonsense (texting her sister sh*t about your family? telling you it's a turn off imagining you in heels? what the f*ck??). So many red flags. You can do much better.
My grandmother died a few years ago. My boyfriend comforted me through the news (it was shocking, it came out of nowhere). He listened to me when I wanted to tell stories about her, he was distracting when I told him he needed a distraction. When it was the day of the funeral, he put on a black suit, rented a car, and drove me, my dad, and my cousins to the funeral. It was his first time meeting my extended family and he was polite and gregarious with them. We went out for a big meal after the service and everyone who had just met him pulled me aside to tell me how much they loved him.
I'm telling this story not to brag, but to show how a partner should treat you during a time of mourning. I've gone to friends parents funerals that were 90% in foreign languages and sat quietly and reflected and was there for my friends afterwards. Do you really want to be around someone you can't trust to be there for you when you most need them?
Maybe this is your grandmas last gift to you, showing how untrustworthy, unreliable, and selfish your girlfriend is.
Your girlfriend is on another planet. You had every right to go to your grandmas the times you did go prior to her death, and yes what's wrong with having fun? Nothing. You should have been at the funeral, that was your grandma. Your girlfriend is insecure, untrustworthy, childish, unsympathetic, and a nag. Why would you want to spend the rest of your young life with her? You could do so much better. Good luck.
A romantic partner is supposed to be a comfort and source of support during hard times, not the cause of additional stress. This woman seems controlling and like she's trying to alienate you from your family. Add in her alarming interest in your inheritance and her general surliness and insistence that every aspect of her life focus on you, and she's just comes across as an overall drain on your life.
Being single is infinitely preferable to having a "partner" like this one.
Listen. I was in a relationship with a girl JUST like this a few years ago, like what you're describing I almost wondered if it's the same girl. It's gonna be hard to break up, but it is the best thing for you to do. She had turned me against my family, and it took me finally seeing the abusive behavior for myself to stand up and break up with her. When I told her I didn't want to be together anymore, she initially acted very sweet and loving, but when I didn't budge, she actually admitted to cheating on me when I was out of town (which is when she would accuse me of cheating) and said some very hurtful things about me and my family. She showed her true colors, and I'm glad she did, it made it all the easier to forget about her and find the right one for me.
So - what's the question here? I know you're asking if you did something wrong, but you already know you didn't. Each one of your examples are riddled with poor behaviors demonstrated by your girlfriend (clingy, controlling, manipulative).
I gotta ask: Where's the good? Why are you with her? Personally, there's nothing she could do that would justify putting up with this bologna.
I really hope you realize that she's no good for you, and you totally deserve better - and when that happens, give us an update. I wanna know what happens.
We're not getting your girlfriend's side of the story, we're getting yours though. I don't know if there's anything your girlfriend could tell me about her side of the story that would lead me to say "Hey wow no I get it, you were totally in the right, u/sici24 needs to get her sh*t together."
Like no matter what, how she behaved during those three visits is not okay. She can have valid reasons for doing so (being in a bad mood, feeling uncomfortable, feeling anxious, missing you, insecurities) but that doesn't EXCUSE what she did or make how she acted okay. At the very least, she needs to work on how she communicates with you and she has to take into account where you're at and put herself aside from a little bit. That's some personal work that SHE needs to do, and maybe there are some changes you can make to help with that, but this is more or less about her.
But like I already said in a different comment, I don't even think it's worth it. This seems like a repeating pattern with her and I've been in relationships where I felt exactly how you feel now--that it was always, always my fault but then when I think about it later, I realize that even if it WAS my fault, I still wouldn't have reacted the way that my partner did. It was only after those relationships actually ended that I realized how f*cked up and toxic they were. It takes a LOT of work for a person to change that deeply, and I'm not saying it's impossible, but I AM saying that your girlfriend needs to be willing to put that work in and also willing to own her part instead of making everything your fault.
You need to figure out if you're happy with her and if you actually want to try to make this work, but based on my own history, I really want you to dump her on her f*cking a** and move onto someone who isn't going to be up your a** yelling at you because you were spending too much time with your family after your grandmother died. Give me a break.
it sounds like ur gf believes that u only live for her pleasure and benefit. u can't have ur own life and enjoy anything that doesn't include her or benefit her in any way. Hence, why she is so interested in ur inheritance. if i were u, i would never let her see a cent, and break up with her. she is a garbage human being.
At first I was thinking, "okay maybe she's young and a little immature." I had to look at the ages again and she's past the age where it's acceptable to behave in this manner.
A kind and loving partner would be supportive of you if they're with you AND supportive if they were unable to come along. You are there for a funeral, not for some random shindig. It would be reasonable to assume you aren't going to respond right away.
Does she have a job or a life? My god, what you describe sounds absolutely exhausting. I was with someone like that and it drained the life out of me. After I didn't have anything left to give, I grew a spine and told them I deserved a hell of a lot better than how they were treating me and they knew it.
It's easy to say, "dump them" but I'm on the train with other commenters. Your gf isn't going to change, is super selfish and childish (and mention of some gold-digging tendencies). You deserve a partner in life, not a spoiled teenager who throws tantrums when they don't get 500% of your attention.
Good luck OP.
I'm sorry for your loss. Your gf is incredibly selfish and jealous of the connection you have with your family. She is definitely controlling and this is only going to escalate. You have not done anything wrong, her behavior is completely out of line.
I think you need to reflect on whether you want to continue a relationship with her. She showed you her true colors in your time of sorrow and it's not pretty.
My boyfriend (Now husband) lost his grandma when we'd been together for two months. I stayed for a week (teacher, summer holidays) to clean his mum's house and get groceries and stuff so she could grieve and make arrangements. I then held his hand, and at times his brothers', through the funeral and wake.
I say this not to boast, but merely to point out the actions of a decent human being (or at least someone who tries to be.) This is a big, big red flag that shows she gives not a crap about your feelings.
I'm sorry for the loss of both your grandma and this relationship. You deserve better.
This is the best set of red flags possible. You lose no money, you have no children, you're not legally entwined in any way. Get out while the getting is good because this kind of selfishness does not improve with age.
I've live it. The coldness, the unprovoked resentment, the hyperinflated insecurity. Don't. Ever. be made to feel bad by a partner for having a relationship with your family, let alone for simply being happy [or sad or anything] from something that is not totally derived from this childish brat. It's completely unacceptable. I know I am coming off as overly passionate about this, maybe I am, but this was my life for a lot of years and nothing good came of it. I'm not suggesting what to do, I'll leave the power of your decision making to you.. because you are a strong and confident person.. and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. Your value as a person does not begin and end with this person's skewed sense of reality, relationship/marriage/occupation/whatever.
Let me be real for a second.
Every time I listen to Bjork's "Unravel," my heart breaks a bit.
Have you ever listened to it?
It's on Homogenic, her third studio album, and it's incredible, passionate, smartly produced and a great showcase for her stupendous voice.
That song? An emotional rollercoaster, for sure.
There's tons of great music out there, though, and even more sad and gorgeous songs to discover.
People shared their thoughts after Redditor humanbear07 asked the online community:
"What song genuinely breaks your heart everytime you hear it?"
"Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice..."
"There's a few, but the isolated vocal track for Heart's 'Alone' is especially heartbreaking to me. Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice and her emotion really made that band."
Doesn't grow old.
There have been quite a few excellent covers of this one over the years, too.
"The first words give me chills..."
"Most songs by the late Jeff Buckley are sad on their own, and even more devastating in context. But the one that hits me the hardest is his cover of 'I Know It's Over' by the Smiths."
"The subject of the song is up for interpretation no matter what, but Jeff Buckley's premature death adds an element to it that seems to be about his life, whether he planned to or not."
"The first words give me chills the most— they happen after the classic reverby Jeff Buckley intro, the kind Hallelujah fans will be familiar with. He takes his time with this one, like he does with that."
No love for "Lilac Wine"?
It's clearly the best track.
"Ever since my husband..."
"'Merry Christmas, Darling' by the Carpenters. Ever since my husband Tom died in 2012, my heart breaks every Christmas since. We loved Christmas."
Karen Carpenter's voice hits differently when you realize how tortured her life was.
Gone too young.
"My Dad told me..."
"In My Life by The Beatles. My Dad told me when I was a teenager that he wanted it played at his funeral. I still can't listen, and when that day comes and I HAVE TO listen to it to honor his wish, I'm going to be a blubbering mess."
Sounds like you have an excellent relationship with your dad.
"My grandmother died..."
"He Stopped Loving Her Today, by George Jones. My grandmother died almost 20 years before my grandfather, and we played it at his funeral. Just typing this chokes me up a bit."
Songs have even more meaning (sometimes painfully so) when linked to specific moments in our lives, particularly the moments when we've lost people we care about.
"I'm not a Christian..."
"'Bridge Over Troubled Water' by Simon & Garfunkel. Not a Christian, but when I hear it, I understand why people believe."
A beautiful song, and timeless, too.
"My sister's husband..."
"Always on my Mind by Willie Nelson. My sisters husband chose to have it played at her funeral. And yes he was a crappy husband and she died young in a car accident."
Sounds like art imitating life, no?
"He's an amazing songwriter..."
"Jason Isbell has so many it's honestly hard to choose one. Speed Trap Town, Decoration Day, Cover Me Up. He's an amazing songwriter."
I don't know him–it's time to look him up and see how I feel.
"I can already feel tears..."
"One More Light by Linkin Park. I can already feel tears coming to my eyes just by typing this."
Chester Bennington's death was such a shock.
His music lives on.
"My brothers passed away..."
"Simple Man - Lynyrd Skynyrd."
"My brothers passed away in a car accident shortly after coming home from Afghanistan. Reminds me of them every time I hear it."
Sorry for your loss.
Hopefully hearing the song brings you peace.
Hearing a beautiful song can be an immensely moving experience.
And hearing a sad song can, for many people, help them cope with the pain of heartbreak better than they would have otherwise.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Unfortunately, a friendship could really end at any point in life.
Friends grow apart, but also, sometimes, it's just necessary to say goodbye to your relationship with a friend.
Maybe they aren't the right type of friend for you anymore, or maybe something has happened in their lives to make them self-destructive and toxic.
The reasons are many, and they are all sad.
Redditor monarchmondays asked:
"People who have unfriended their childhood friend/best friend, what happened?"
Here were some of those answers.
Bad Looking Out
"I was more-so the one who was unfriended. Was going to be the best man in his wedding. Saw his fiance out with another dude. Like on this dude."
"Told him, he told me I was wrong, Yada Yada. Things got heated. I told him I couldn't be his best man. Some years down the road, he caught her cheating."
"Called me up, asked if I wanted to grab a beer. I went. He apologized. I accepted, but we're still not friends."-TheMotorcycleMan
Friends Don't Control Friends
"He was a pathological liar, manipulative and told all of my most trusted secrets to everyone because he wanted to feel powerful and like he controlled me."
"Haven't spoken a word in 5 years and I have never looked back."-TheDandy9
Sometimes Life Is The Only Thing In The Way
"As soon as I left my hometown and my best friend growing up stayed, we both changed in opposite directions. He assimilated to the local lifestyle, quickly became friends with people he never got along with in school."
"I left, made new friends, found new things I liked. He started a family, I started a career."
"The final straw though was he RSVP'd to our wedding and then just didn't show. No text, no call, no anything. I think he was pissed that I didn't make him my best man after I was his best man, even though it was exactly because he wasn't reliable and made everything about himself that I couldn't do it."
"He caused sh*t at other people's weddings and I just didn't want to deal with what I knew would be inevitable. It did highlight though that growing up I was his best friend as a matter of convenience where I genuinely liked hanging out with him."-porscheblack
It's never fun or happy to lose a friend, but sometimes it's necessary for your healing process.
We've Reached The Point Of No Return
"I haven't unfriended her YET but I'm basically at the point where I'm sick of her drama, pettiness and 'main character syndrome.'"
"Anything that doesn't go her way is taken personally and if you disagree with her (or even have a preference that differs from hers) she will berate you into submission and 'agreement.'"
"And heaven forbid you have a life that doesn't consider her wants and desires. We're both 30, almost 31. I'm too old for that sh*t."-Deezus1229
When The Punches Come, I Go
"I met my ex-best mate in school, he had a little narcissistic personality, but I understood that and ignored his faults."
"In late Teens, we started drinking and partying as most do; this is when it became apparent that he had alcohol problems, forever being violent looking for fights, killing my good vibes, and getting me pulled into unwanted situations where I saved him or stopped him from beating on someone for no good reason."
"Throughout our life, he never attempted to fight me. He remained a pretty good friend to me until our first trip overseas to Asia; during our trip, he tried to coward punch me in the back of the head because I asked him to put out his cigarette that he had just lit."
"I asked him because we were seated in a restaurant surrounded by families, for some reason that angered him, I got up to leave and luckily heard him coming and avoided his punch, but he then tried to attack me further, which ended with us both on the ground and me on top of him while he shouted and went crazy."
"Eventually, police arrived and pointed a gun at both of us; luckily, they didn't shoot. Having foreign police aiming at me because my friend wouldn't calm down was one of the most scary moments in my life and that's saying something because I don't come from a easy upbringing."
"He was drunk, of course, and claims he doesn't remember, but there's no excuse to try and coward punch anyone, especially your best mate."
"I packed my bags that night and left our joint holiday plans in the dirt, traveling solo and having a blast. When I got back from my trip, I quit drinking myself and have remained sober for the last five years."
"Throughout that five years, I've had brief encounters with him, but our friendship was never the same. Unfortunately, my old friend never changed as he aged; he eventually went to jail."
"I work in hospitals and have seen him show up to the emergency triage, bashed with broken bones, and just a few months ago, he randomly knocked at my door where my wife answered, he was covered in blood."
"My wife went and woke me up; he had a stab wound and refused to go to the hospital; I drove him home and haven't seen or spoken to him since.. His brother updated me and said he was fine, whatever that means."-King-Callous
When He's A Predator
"I, a 5th grader at the time, knew this chick who was in the 7th grade dating a junior in hs. The dude thought she was 16 because she was lying about her age."
"They had been f**king and sexting and all that jazz...he didn't know she was a minor. I went and told him, and they broke up, and he was pissed... yada, yada yada..."
"They became friends again after a few years. When I was in the 8th grade, she called just so he could flirt with me 🤮. I was 13 then, and he was probably around 20. I blocked her real quick."-Cancerous0713
The End Of An Era
"Inseparable all through jr and HS. We graduated in 85 so no social media but I still feel ghosted. He stopped returning my calls, I always had to initiate and when we did get together he wasn't that interested."
"I gave it a few tries but I got the message and just stopped contacting him and he never reach out to me after that. I never new why and it took almost 10 years for me to get over it and stop thinking about it every day."
"I kind of wish he would have just told me he doesn't like me anymore. I have a current best friend I met in college and we've been friends for 30+ years so it's all good."-DreamArcher
There is never a right time to say goodbye to someone you once considered a trusted friend.
"My best friends young son was killed in a four wheeler accident. I was the first responding paramedic. I had to take him from my friends arms to work on him. Knowing he was dead the all along."
"We flex the child on Lifeflight then I drove my best friend and his wife to the hospital. I knew all along he was dead but they didn't. It wasn't his fault or mine that he died in any way but I could never look my best friend in the eye again."
"All I could see was his pain. So we drifted apart. I finally got to tell him and his wife before my friend died with heart trouble."-hotandhornyinbama
Secret Mental Health Leeches
"She started being nasty to my husband when we got engaged. It was so gross. She was snarky and rude to him every time he spoke and made him feel unwelcome in our own home."
"I kind of fell out of friend love with her after watching her behave like that. My mom thinks it was jealousy or something, idk. My husband is the most fun and caring person I've ever known, I expected her to be happy for me."
"In retrospect, I realized there were a lot of other red flag issues I had been ignorant of. It's been 3 years now and I am so much mentally healthier without the drama she was churning up."-ThunderHeavyRains
When Mom Damaged Her
"Had a friend I met pre-kindergarten but had a falling out in middle school. Families knew each other and we were like sisters. But sadly, her mom was a true definition of a Tiger mom. Her mom always pushed my friend to be in all of these extracurricular activities, music lessons, tutoring, etc. Her mom was always dissatisfied; nothing was good enough."
"She wasn't the most nurturing parent. But my parents were the opposite. Especially my mom, she just wanted me to be a good person and do my best. But naturally I was a very good student."
"So my friend's mom would always compare my friend to me saying I was better than her because I was naturally gifted and didn't NEED all of that help. My friend began to resent me."
"Throughout puberty, she would call me a slut because I was physically developing, tried to imply I was ugly just to see my reaction, threatened to punch me, things I understood where they were coming from but did not think were justified as I had not done anything directly to her."
"Final straw was when she posted on Facebook that she thought I was ugly so I just cut her off completely. I pitied her for her family life but her bitterness toward me was wrong. Because through my eyes, she was my best friend and all she wanted to do was hurt me. Don't regret cutting it off"-dookieconductor
The sad truth is that people are not always meant to be close, and that some people are too mentally unhealthy to have any kind of closeness in their lives.
Until they grow up, there is not much we can do but sadly step aside and take care of ourselves.
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Certain personalities show up at almost every party like clockwork.
There's always that person who get's too drunk, someone awkwardly standing in the corner nursing a drink, the person who's not having a good time no matter what and the person babysitting the crowd they came with.
When there's alcohol—or any other substances—and the pressure of a social situation, all sorts of quirks will come out. We wanted to know what people thought their country would act like if they were a person attending a party.
Redditor amotyvukufyd asked:
"All the countries of the world are at a party. What is your country doing?"
Here are some of the best and most hilarious answers.
The United Kingdom is just leaving.
"Not before slapping the knees and saying 'right.'"
"Northern Ireland looks nervously at her sister before putting her sunglasses on and following."
"As an American from the Midwest, we do a 'welp' knee slap. Then sit/stand for another 25 minutes before leaving."
"Then talk in the porch. Then talk in the doorway. Then talk in the driveway. Then talk out the car window."
"'Yuh, I guess.'"
"'See you around, I suppose.'"
"'Yuh you bet.'"
"Buzz of the window rolling up."
Argentina is in the backyard.
"Argentina is either playing football in the backyard with Brazil or aggressively telling whoever's at the grill how to cook a steak."
"Don't forget, they're also drinking fernet and coke, or even cheap wine and juice, out of a cut off bottle even though there were enough glasses for everyone."
"While listening to El Potro Rodrigo."
"For sure we're arguing with Texans over asado."
"Texas would also totally be there despite not being a country itself."
"Texas showing up to a party where only entire nations are invited is such a Texas thing to do."
Greece is making questionable choices.
"I'm Greek so I guess a lot of sex, wine and questionable financial decisions that will ruin us the morning after."
"At least you have your club of friends who will drive you home when you pass out. My country, Argentina, will spend the night borrowing money. When they finally kick him out, he'll have to walk home, broke and alone. And it will start to rain."
Poland fighting with Russia, Belarus, and Ukraine.
"Poland. In the corner with Russia, Belarus and Ukraine, drinking vodka and fighting each other. Poland fighting Belarus and Ukraine fighting Russia."
"With some EU guys walking by with fancy drinks, dropping some concerns."
"And then Russia says 'Oh, you want some too?' And the EU guys turn and walk away."
"Then hours later writes a strongly worded comment to Russia's Facebook page. After spending 8 hours arguing over the exact wording."
Germany brings the beer.
"I'm German and I'd say Germany would complain about the taste of the beer."
"Germany should be bringing the beer. Please don't leave it to America who will bring some watery Coors Light!"
"Wouldn't they discuss politics too?"
"We so would! I was thinking about what we would do what wasn't absolutely cliché (like bringing the beer). I feel we would not only discuss politics but also rant about it. And other stuff. I feel ranting is really something we like to do. But also Germany would be drinking way too much and be completely fine the next morning..."
India is awkwardly dancing.
"India/that uncle dancing inappropriately in the middle of the dance floor."
"Not gonna lie, they got da best moves though."
"I was gonna say India would be that aunty gossiping about and judging others' outfits/looks, but this one is better."
The USA is just destroying things for fun.
"USA. Chugging beers and trying to smash a foldable table by jumping on it."
"I think the US would be like a really obnoxious frat dude that's also kinda fun. Like waaaay over the top bragging... but also did bring the weed. Then word gets around that he has a gun on him and it makes everyone uncomfortable, but he says it's just cause Russia and China are packing too."
"I figure we'd also be the one who obnoxiously insists on 'defending' every girl in the party- whether the girl wants it or not. Lots of 'do you wanna go?' energy, then trying to clean up any mess we make but just doing the absolute worst job of it while staying way, waaay too long after the party is over."
"We'd also get mad at China for stealing our famous brownie recipe even though we asked them to make it for us."
We aren't sure we want to be invited to that party.
Sounds like there's gonna be a lot of drama.
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Irrespective of men's sexual identity or preference, there are men who hate sports, and there are men who love musical theater. Do participating in either activity make men straight or gay?
"Straight men of Reddit, what is the strangest thing you have been told not to do because 'that's gay?'"
The following behavior just screams, "gay," fellas. Watch out.
"Sing a Lily Allen song during karaoke."
"Advice I received in high school from other students:" "Don't cross your legs with one knee over the other. Put one ankle over the other knee." "When carrying books, palm them and carry them at your side. Don't rest one edge of the books near your waist." "Never button the top button of your shirt."
Look, But Don't Look
"This one time, at summer camp, this guy who'd just been swimming in the lake told me you could tell how cold the water was by how hard his nipples were. 'But don't stare too long,' he said, 'because that's gay.'"
"You were the one who told me to look in the first place!"
Sandwich For Sissies
"When I was a kid, my dad called me a sissy because I cut a sandwich diagonally."
"I played the clarinet. I got called Faginet a lot."
"But that's one women do," one might argue.
"Changing my daughter's diaper. Mentioned it in the office one day. Called gay."
A Lighter Shade
"Buying a white IPhone."
"Added my husband (then boyfriend) to my phone plan. Went to the store on my own to upgrade both our phones. We both just wanted the next gen Samsung. It was only available in purplish-pink in store."
"I shrugged and said it didn't matter, he's putting a case on it anyways. Guys working at the store kept trying to talk me out of it, actively pushing me to go to another store, making them lose commission, just so my partner wouldn't have a feminine phone. He used his pink phone for 3 years."
"I've been criticized for knowing how to sew and cook. Those are essential life skills!"
"My father was a Marine drill instructor in the 50's. Guess who did all the sewing in my house growing up?"
"Yeah, no one dared to call him gay for it."
Here are examples of guidelines for being a manly man, according to manly men.
"Not a straight man but... back in my bartending days I asked a man if he wanted to see a dessert menu. He said 'if I wanted dessert I'd order wings like a real man.'"
"Weird flex but okay."
When I'm In The Mood, I Masticate
"When I'm feeling extra manly, I just take a bite out of a cow and then chew on some raw wheat."
"Like a man."
No Appointments Necessary For Straight Men
"I left a pick-up basketball game because I had an appointment to get a haircut. Evidently, the only straight way to get a haircut is as a walk in."
Abiding By The Law Is So Gay
"Using turn signals. And not as some sort of euphemism, but literally using them while driving to turn or change lanes."
In grade school, some fellow classmates asked me to check for gum on my shoe because they saw me step in some.
When I lifted my leg to take a gander, the boys were howling hysterically as if my actions confirmed something.
Well, it sure did. Apparently, if I l looked at the bottom of my shoe from in front of me, I was "normal," but since I bent my leg back and looked at the bottom of my shoe from behind, that made me "so gay."
Although, I didn't come out 'til years later, maybe those goons were onto something. Thanks for the heads up, guys.
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