German People Reveal How They Learned About The Holocaust In School[rebelmouse-image 18350327 is_animated_gif=
_The Holocaust and WWII is one of the touchiest topics once can broach. The Holocaust is up there with racism and homophobia... so think twice before you speak. The main perpetrators of the Holocaust are the German people. Haven't you always wondered what modern day Germany thinks about that part of history. _
Redditor _\kelhamh _**reached out asking.... **\Germans of Reddit, how were you taught the holocaust in school?
I am actually doing this in my history class now (again, because you basically talk about it yearly at least from 8th grade upwards).
I'd say that we are taught about the holocaust in very truthful ways. We read texts, that were written by victims, as well as Nazis and 'normal' People, political opponents... Thus we get a very detailed description of the holocaust, acknowledging a variety of perspectives and experiences. Of course we also study texts and essays written by historians - also covering a lot of topics here.
It is quite common to visit a former Concentration Camp during a field trip.
We also discuss in length and depth the claim of a lot of people: 'To have not known about the holocaust or at least not to it's real horrible extent'. Most of the people my age would say that this is some real bs.
Summarizing I'd say that the holocaust is a huge part of our education. Also it's a very common topic on TV - there really is the drive to never forget and to understand how this could happen, to really understand the 'mechanism' and social construct of the whole NS period.
THE GERMAN STRUGGLE...[rebelmouse-image 18350328 is_animated_gif=
Over and over again, in my school time we had it three times. We learned everything, you will struggle to find a german who isn't able to explain to you why the nazis had the power, how they got it, how many people died exactly, how the industrialized killing was planned etc. My class for example made a trip to the House of the Wannsee conference where the nazis planned the industrialized mass murder, this house is now a museum with alot of facts around the nazis. But to your question how it's taught I can just say the right way, the teachers tell you it was one of the most tragic and gruel capitals in the german history and that we all have to fight fascism so it may never occur again, and can't ever again take our families and hope
DESPERATE TIMES....[rebelmouse-image 18350329 is_animated_gif=
Desperation played a key factor in this. When faced with very few options, you begin to start considering things you would normally consider outlandish. If you are trapped, alone with nothing but your dog, as you begin to get hungrier and hungrier, Fido begins to look a lot tastier. The German people were facing a collapse of their civilization, their money was worthless, making a decent living was nearly impossible, and they had no where to turn to. Hitler was the loudest voice and the only option they saw as viable. Normally the people wouldn't have gone along with it, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Of course, none of them fully realized what they were doing. Hitlers propaganda kept the people blissfully ignorant while he took power and used it for his terrible crimes
THE POLITICAL SYSTEM IS FAILING...[rebelmouse-image 18350330 is_animated_gif=
Don't forget about the fragmentation of political parties to serve niche interests. this allows for groups that specifically serve more extreme ideologies. without this fragmentation a party like the nazi party could not have existed and certainly wouldn't have come to power. this is part of the beauty and the pain of the american two party system. it never satisfies anyone completely but the mere fact that there are only two main parties means that neither can be too extreme or risk losing a majority of voters. obviously this only holds when the promises of candidates are something they adhere to when in office and not mere talking points aimed at getting elected.
IT IS WHAT IT IS...[rebelmouse-image 18345410 is_animated_gif=
We learned it just like normal history. We went through the time line and got to WW2. We learned how it was possible that a regime like that could form and how Hitler got to the position of "Der Führer."
We learned all the political implications and the progress of the war. Also some important battles and some mistakes that were made.
The Holocaust was part of the whole political mess, how ghettos were formed, the "Reichsbrand" and the tactics of the NSDAP and SS.
After we learned everything there was in classes, we visited the concentration camp in Dachau and saw the horrible stuff that took place in the past right were we stood.
And thats about it.
HANDS ON APPROACH..[rebelmouse-image 18359914 is_animated_gif=
We went to concentration camp Bergen-Belsen for history class, which started out as a prison camp, but then became one of the last camps that was freed by the Allied forces. While it wasn't intended as a _"death camp" _what happened there at the end of the war was just horrifying. There are hardly any buildings left anymore because when the Allied soldiers arrived there were over 10,000 unburied corpses and the rest of the prisoners were on the verge of starving to death, and in order to prevent diseases from spreading they had to burn down the buildings.
We watched a video footage that was filmed by a soldier/camera man, and I have to tell you that it was one of the most disturbing thing I had ever seen. The entire class was silent. It was said that the one who had taken the footage never watched the video he had taken in the concentration camp ever again.
It's also the same concentration camp where Anne Frank and her sister died in. Just really heavy stuff. I will never forget what I had seen that day.
TAKE A TOUR...[rebelmouse-image 18978251 is_animated_gif=
It is a big part of history class and you usually go visit a place where things took place like former concentration camps etc. They try to explain to you how something like that could have happened and that it's not so certain that it will not happen again. We watched some movies about the topics or went to exhibitions and so on. It wasn't until those history lessons that I really became aware of how those events might have shaped the way that we Germans are seen by other countries.
I NEVER LIKED MUSEUMS...[rebelmouse-image 18978252 is_animated_gif=
Everyone in my school did a school trip to the mauthausen concentration camp in 8th grade, its just a thing since its only like half an hour away.
it still haunts me. there a museum where they show you photos and survivors' stories, but the worst thing is how most of the original buildings still stand. the prisoners barracks with the tiny beds, the cremation oven, the cooler they used to store bodies, the hook that people were hung from, the quarry where thousands of people plummeted to death. the original walls too. theres a ton of monuments and art installations too, but going inside the gas chambers is just... a lot. still, i think its an experience you have to make. my friend whose a bit more sensitive called in sick the next day, i don't blame her.
There also an insane asylum turned extermination facility (dunno how to call it) where sick and disabled people were gassed and burned. did two school trios there. you can go into the gas chambers too, but its mostly a museum documenting disabled peoples rights over the centuries. honestly quite interesting, though the huge wall of names of people who were murdered there i still remember.
JUST FACE IT...[rebelmouse-image 18978253 is_animated_gif=
Don't remember thoroughly anymore, but it is taught in middle school and high school at least. Usually, classes also visit concentration camps. I think you are supposed to visit at least once during your time in school. However, for my classes, I think during my school career, it was planned like two or three times and always cancelled.
Anyways, we get taught in steps, thus there are classes in middle school and high school. Cause the older you are, the more complex issues can be comprehened. Actually, I think even in elementary school we are confronted with it. I think it is dealt with in all details. Where the hate against Jews comes from, the historic circumstances, the growth of the NSDAP, the plans of the nazis etc. How the NSDAP started assassinations against leftist politicians and Jews, how they used Jews as symbol for everything bad. Iirc, originally, the Nazis did not plan to necessarily kill them, just get them of from German ground. Over the time, they got more and more radical and planned to eradicate the Jewish race. Initially, it was even planned that soldiers kill Jews on sight. However, many soldiers expressed concern about killing unweaponized people. Thus, the plan was made with the Concentration Camps to "industrialize" killing and take away responsibility from the soldiers and the population. Officially, inside Germany, the media never reported the truth about the concentration camps. Thus, many people that supported the NSDAP and trusted them did not know that they were killed there. However, especially in the Southern part of Germany, the NSDAP did not receive as many votes as in the North. So, after they were elected, the nazis came and placed their SA everywhere. If the elected politicians of other parties did something the NSDAP did not agree to, they were fetched by the SA overnight and never came back. Since this happened in some places and the fetched people were well-respected personalities in these regions, I think many people in the Southern part knew what the nazis did to them and the Jews. My grandpa always told me how about the mayor of my town how the nazis got him and that he knew who the snitch was and how everyone suddenly was careful what to say and what to do. He said he always believed the nazi would not reeducate people but kill them.
Well, there are many things to say about it, but I guess it is better to have someone who is actually in school right now... Cause I went kinda off-topic.
BE HONEST...[rebelmouse-image 18978254 is_animated_gif=
We were taught about it every year since 6th grade but I knew about it since I can remember because it's nothing you can avoid. There are just so many traces of it and museums everywhere. You can even see the aftermath just walking around the city. Newer buildings between old buildings because of bombings and we also have golden stones embedded into the streets, called _"Stolpersteine" _(stumbling stone) that show you where murdered jews used to live.
As for school: we get taught about it extremely rational, there is a lot of material on that topic and as far as I can remember we were given everything uncensored and as soon as possible. So every movie about concentration camp, euthanasia, brutal photos were shown to us when we were about 12. It was pretty traumatizing but I think it's the right way. Also every class will go to a concentration camp at least once, some even go to Berlin and there are still a lot of survivors here in Germany so some classes get the opportunity to visit them and ask them questions.
I like the way this topic is handled here now. I'm thankful to have the opportunity to educate myself about something as horrible and unfortunate as this and not to hide it and pretend nothing happened.
THE NEW AGE...[rebelmouse-image 18978255 is_animated_gif=
A little bit off topic, but interesting nonetheless: In addition to all comments about how often and detailed we learn that period of time at school, our current minister of justice plans to make the nazi era part of the obligatory curriculum for law school. So what legal steps and ideas made it possible, what part did the constitution and judicial organs play etc.
LESSON LEARNED...[rebelmouse-image 18978256 is_animated_gif=
History class from like 6th grade or something. To understand how Hitler got in that position we first had some lessons about different forms of politic (democracy, communism) as well as the positions (Reichskanzler, Reichspräsident). Then we got to Hitler himself and how he planned to get both of those positions (which historically proven should never be occupied by only 1 person).
After that came the war plans that were made as well as the circumstances that led to WW2. And since that wasn't the tip of the iceberg we then moved on to the holocaust. By that time everyone was aware of how bad stuffwent back then so only a few were joking about it. I guess that's the idea behind all that: Make them understand that it's no topic to joke about and then move on to the nationalism, holocaust, genocide.
Also we had a trip to a nearby concentration camp as well as a guide there who had some stories about the most striking fates. Needless to mention that this trip had a immense impact on what you think about the circumstances that prevailed there at that time.
OH ANNE...[rebelmouse-image 18978257 is_animated_gif=
It wasn't just taught / touched up in History classes, but was a topic in others as well.
For example, we read Anne Frank's Diary in my 5th grade Religion / Ethics class and discussed it at length. Later on in 12th grade Religion class we talked about the resistance to the Nazis or lack there of in the Protestant and Catholic church.
Politics class covered how the state functioned before, during and after WW2. And in 10th grade we had a trip to our local former police station where they detained countless Jews, subjecting them to terrible living conditions, torture etc.
In German class we read several works by prominent authors that were writing against the Nazis whether it was to discuss how to write a speech, how to do poetry etc and this happened several times during my time at school.
Even in English class we talked about it since _"The Wave" _was on our reading list.
BLAME IT ON HOLLYWOOD...[rebelmouse-image 18978258 is_animated_gif=
As many others have posted already: It's been taught multiple times, of course not every time in full detail, in history alone. Many other subjects also touch on the topic.
Moreover, we watched many documentaries showing the horror of what happened in concentration camps. Pretty horrifying stuff...
Maybe this is also important: at no point was germany not portrayed as the one accountable for the war or the Holocaust.
As I just finished my final exams and had one in history I'm open to try and answer as many questions as possible.
MAKE ME A WITNESS...[rebelmouse-image 18978260 is_animated_gif=
We have this subject in history class at the moment (I'm 15 years old.). In the last couple lessons we visited so-called "Stolpersteine," which are stones embedded into the pavement together with the normal padding. They're shiny golden and are located in front of houses from which jews were deported by the nazis. Personally, I think this is a very good way of reminding people of our history. Otherwise we are studying how hitler came to power. This is not the first time this subject was touched in school, but mostly not very in-depth and only certain aspects of it (For example, we did this subject in R.E. under religious aspects). So this is the first time we are studying it really in-depth and from beginning to end. We are mostly analyzing it without being emotionally involved in it. Oh, and something very important which I forgot: Our school invites every year "time witnesses" people who either have lived in the WW2 or the generation after that. They often come from Israel or from America and tell us how they experienced it, which is very informative, but often emotional, too. Generally speaking, we never really get the feeling that we personally have something to do with it differently than people from other countries.
LEAVE ME OUT OF IT....[rebelmouse-image 18978261 is_animated_gif=
Friends of mine;
1, absolutely hates the perpetual guilt trip. Every single comment about the war is a massive blame game in Germany. They accept responsibility, which is commendable, but they forget that other nations are culpable too. This friend gets very tired everytime she has to hear about how she, personally, has to carry the burden of something that ended 50 years before she was born. Academically, she doesn't mind discussing it. But when people start preaching about German guilt, she'll walk out.
2, another friend finds it so funny when non-Germans get shy about talking about the war in front of her. We were working as a tour guide and both she and I were shadowing a colleague. Colleague completely skipped over the WWII aspect of the tour. I asked her why at the end and she said that she didn't want to mention it in front of a German. God knows why.
SO MANY OPTIONS...[rebelmouse-image 18347819 is_animated_gif=
It was taught in a lot of different ways.
We discussed this in multiple German language classes - from poetry to speech analysis.
We discussed this in History lessons - fairly comprehensive overview of what happened
We discussed this in English classes - what was the propaganda and response in Britain? Speech analysis etc.
We looked at artwork in art class.
We talked about it in Roman-Catholic Religion class.
We did a school trip to Buchenwald and Auschwitz.
We saw Schindler's List a few times.
For me - the holocaust was the center of many subjects for a substantial amount of time. They tied it to certain aspects (like analysis of text and art) but if you think about it - talking about this over the course of 4-5 years from different angles drives the point across really well. There was also a dude in class that took this whole thing in a bad way - he was way too fascinated with it and I suspect he took a right turn along the way.
THINK OF LIVED PAST...[rebelmouse-image 18978262 is_animated_gif=
i [ a jew] was for years a 'host' of young adults from Germany in a program that served jews. they all knew a lot, and learned more from their clients. some of them were quite literally atoning for their grandparents' sins. i cannot imagine how they felt.
SAVE A GENERATION!!![rebelmouse-image 18978263 is_animated_gif=
We had a German exchange student at my school and one time he said something along the lines of that he hates what Nazis have done to his country. He wants to be proud of being German but it can come off that he is a Nazi. He talked about visiting concentration camps in school from elementary school onward.
DON'T DWELL...[rebelmouse-image 18978265 is_animated_gif=
Prerequisite I am not a German citizen, however I've asked this very question to a friend of mine who grew up in Germany, perhaps its changed since he was a kid but boiled down they're taught about it in a way that almost expects them to feel guilty and apparently German culture as a whole works this way always feeling like the mistakes of their fathers are theirs and trying to make amends, I think it's an extremely unhealthy way to think about it. I don't know if it's still that way but that's what it was for him as a kid.
Remember way back when the internet wasn't a flaming dumpster fire?
Yeah, us either.
The internet has always been a mess, but it's also always been beautiful.
It connects people, ideas, senses or humor, creativity! Yes, we've got our fair share of deviants, murderers, and trashbag people, but we've also got decades of wonder to celebrate.
Newbies like to think using the internet for awesomeness is something they came up with, but the old heads are here to tell you the internet has ALWAYS been a complicated crash course in the coolest stuff ever.
So let's hop in the wayback machine and get our nostalgia on.
Reddit user ransom0374 asked:
"What do you miss from early internet times?"
So let's take that walk down memory lane, or if you're new-ish here on planet Earth, this is going to be a fun little "history" lesson.
If you're uncertain where you fall, here's a test:
"Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger..."
If you finished the song, you're probably going to remember quite a few of these...
"AIM away messages saying stupid stuff like 'BRB going to get some bagel bites.' "
"Don't forget to update your personal profile with Blink 182 lyrics and the initials of your school sweetheart and some ASCII. Browse for a new inappropriate buddy icon and strike up a convo with SmarterChild"Giphy
"I miss the wild unknown frontier that the internet was."
"It seemed there was so much discovery to be had on the internet, and if you were good at the internet everyone thought of you as 'Hackerman' and you were like a God amongst your peers."
"It seems like there isn't anything 'new' on the internet anymore. No discoveries to be made."Giphy
The Irony Is Not Lost On Us
"Variety. There's a popular tweet that says something like 'the internet has turned into four websites where on each one people share screenshots of the other three.' "
"I miss when you could search a term and there would be dozens of sites dedicated to it or forums especially for it. Now it's just ads, Wikipedia, and Reddit."
"Oh, and not having ads shoved down your throat every time you search a term or navigate to a page!"
"I know there were pop ups and banners, which weren't any better. But there was a sweet spot."
"There was a few years there where you could Google something and half the first page WASN'T sponsored ads that had nothing to do with what you looked up. And you could go to a website and it DIDN'T block the page with a full screen ad asking for your email to join their mailing list or save 10% on their merchandise."Giphy
Figuring It Out
"That all the webpages were just random people trying to figure out HTML."
"There really wasn't a corporate presence at all. It was just a place for people to experiment."
"You could click on a button and make a cardboard hand wave at someone's cats. You could dispense a coke from a machine in some dorm. It was dumb and fun."Giphy
"The learning was endless."
"There were almost an infinite source of information from all over the world. If you wanted to find something all you had to do was search for it in Ask Jeeves or whatever and you'd find any website that had ever mentioned that thing."
"There were more than 10 different websites. And at least it didn't feel like I was being forced to sign up for a subscription after every click."
"There were so many fun, cute stores to shop. Now it feels like everyone dresses and decorates the same."
"I miss a lot of things about the early internet. I'm probably wrong, but it just felt safer than it does now?"Giphy
"I was in my late teens when the internet was becoming accessible to everyone. Our one household computer was in the kitchen & facing in a way so anyone coming in could see your screen."
"I remember looking at someone's website and my Dad passing by to get something to eat, asking me if the person on the website was my friend."
"I miss those old days! The internet seemed endless & friendly."Giphy
A Base Level For Participation
"Most people were smart."
"In the early days (by far) most people on the internet were in college, either as a teacher or student. Beyond that, people had to to be in a lab or make their computer talk to a connected computer which was not so easy in the old days."
"It acted as a sort of intelligence barrier one needed clear to participate in internet things."
"Higher barrier to entry."
"I remember the fond days of SLIP and Trumpet Winsock when you had to know at least a little about tech to get on and participate."
"There was still stupidity, but it just wasn't as loud as it is now."
"In the very very early days, pre-AOL, you needed skill and knowledge to get online."
"Then AOL came onto the scene an d anyone could get online at the push of a button."Giphy
Go Away Now
"I miss when what happened on the internet, stayed on the internet."
"You could turn off the beige box and go about the rest of your day without it affecting you."
"The fact that is only existed on a big computer in the house, as long as no-one was on the phone. It wasn't some all-encompassing thing."
"The internet not following me around. When you logged off, you effectively put the internet away."Giphy
It Used To Be...
"How people used to treat it."
"The internet was not just a novelty, but an amazing piece of technology that let anyone share anything. It was so wholesome and loving, with everyone still being amazed at what we could do now."
"Now? There's so many websites that are designed to make you angry and radicalize your beliefs. It's quantity over quality."
"There was a time when nobody on Reddit shared politics, when Facebook was for socializing, when YouTube was where people uploaded stuff they were passionate about."Giphy
We Used To Love Yahoo
"I can't remember what it was called, but Yahoo had this great music video program where it showed popular artists, and some very unknown folks."
"I discovered some of my favorite artists having it play in the background all the time."
"Launchcast/Yahoo Radio. It was revolutionary for music streaming and the 1-5 star system worked really well. I preferred it over Pandora's up/down system."Giphy
On a personal level, I want to go on record and say MusicMatch was the greatest music program in the history of life.
It just was.
I will die on this hill.
It was dopeness in all forms. MusicMatch Jukebox? Dope. Yahoo MusicMatch? Dope.
So what relics from Ye Olde Internet are you passionate about? Sound off in the comments!
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Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
No one wants war.
Who is going to light the powder keg and set it all off?
Which country will start WW3? Why?
Does anyone really want to start another world war?
They may not have a choice in the matter.
Getting It Out Of The Way Early
"Austrian here, we will do it again probably, I would like to say sorry in advance! Most plausible reason at the moment is because Germans eat schnitzel with sauce on top, then this conflict will spiral out again into WW3."
"Third time's the charm!"
-Some Austrian, probably
Civil War 2: Electric Boogaloo
"It'll be a civil war that devolves into a world war, with no one country clearly responsible for this change."
"But we'll blame it all on germany again, right"
Why I Oughtta...
"At this point, there are enough nukes in the world to ensure that a World War would simply result in nuclear annihilation on all sides. Say what you want about authoritarians like Xi Jinping, Kim Jung Un, and Ali Khameni, they are many things; but they're not suicidal. They know that an all out war would just end everyone, including them, so they're not going to. This is why the US and the USSR never went to all out war, despite coming close a few times; the risks were just too great for both sides."
"What could easily happen, however, is another cold war, this time between the US and China. And like in the Cold War, there could be proxy wars fought as a result of it, but it's unlikely that any country will take the insane risks of starting World War 3."
A full-blown world war is a tricky thing to get off the ground, that is if anyone wants it. The leading cause to impending war could come out of nowhere, or somewhere completely unexpected, or perhaps it will never come.
2-Day War Delivery
"Bruh its gunna be Amazon, not a country"
"Jeff Bezos finna be dropping Amazon basics nukes on us"
Can It Even Happen?
"I don't think the world can handle another world war. simply for the sake that we're all so interconnected. every major nation trades with each other and are in bed with each other. I would be a detriment to whatever country starts a war."
"Think about how the global supply chain has been impacted by the pandemic, the world would probably cease to function all together in a major conflict."
"There was a quote I liked, I think it was from Dan Carlin. He said that leading up to WWI Europe had become too economically entwined to go to war with itself, but none of the economists were invited to the war councils. The generals making the decisions didn't understand the situation so they made dumb decisions. The situation is undoubtably more-so interconnected today, the question is, do we have economists making the call on starting wars?"
A Little Humor Before We Get To The Serious Stuff...
"Probably America, I mean they made Wonder Woman 1 & 2, so highly likely they'd make WW3. At least start it. Not sure why someone else would finish it."
"No, they don't know how to count.. They jumped from WW1 to WW84."
Is it in the realm of possibility? Possibly.
After all, people will be people.
Anyone Else Surprised? No?
"America have a surplus of military might, a recent history of starting wars for profit, EVERYTHING is politicised and extreme nationalism and xenophobia are normalised within the populace. I'm going with them."
These All Feel Tangible
"My guesses would be 1) USA vs China over Taiwan or 2) China vs India (a lot on tension there that doesn't get a lot of news attention)"
"India-Pakistan and China-India are hot beds."
"India and Pakistan have been at war numerous times since their inception. 5 'official' wars and 9 minor skirmishes, to be exact. The last conflict ended with a ceasefire in 2003, but the last incident was a series of skirmishes along the Line of Control in Kashmir, from November 2020 to February 2021."
"Neither is capable of a full-fledged invasion of the other, so it's limited to border disputes. And while Pakistan does have nukes, it would be suicide to use them. There's no incentive for any other countries to get involved."
Going For It
"China making a move on Taiwan or some other land grab in India or other bordering countries."
An Infectious Idea
"India and Pakistan. It will spread to China, then North Korea (or North Korea first) and pull in many others in Asia. This will pull in NATO, either directly or via global partners (Australia)."
This One Makes WAY Too Much Sense
"Twitter. Someone will probably make a typo that everyone takes the wrong way..."
Well, what do you think could happen? Let us know in the comments.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
So let's talk about how a dog owner on Facebook learned her dog's "adorable" behavior was, in fact, furious masturbation.
Readers, if you know anything about me you know I love a good plot twist and I love chonky puppers.
Yesterday, life combined my two great loves in a hilarious and inappropriate way.
I was mindlessly scrolling through my dog groups on Facebook when a video with a few hundred laugh reacts but almost no comments caught my eye.
The still from the video was a pudgy little Frenchie, so obviously I had to read and watch.
The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
The video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" ExerciseGiphy
"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic PrincessGiphy
"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
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Have you ever fantasized about what it would be like to win the lottery? Having money for the rest of your life, as far as the eye can see, to cover your expenses.
And have you thought about all the things you would buy if you could really afford them? Are they ALL practical things, or are some of them silly?
We always love to fantasize about what life would be like if money were no object. And you are not alone!
Redditor OnlyVillager asked:
"If you won the lottery, what's something 'useless' that you would buy?"
Here were some of those answers.
I Be The Witch Of The Wood
"My teenage daughter disclosed to me the other day that her biggest life goal is to buy a house on an acreage that has a large wooded area."
"She plans to build me a house in the woods, fund whatever ridiculous bullsh*t art installations I want to erect in the woods, then spread rumors in neighboring towns that a witch lives back there."
"She's the best."-OpossumJesusHasRisen
My Kingdom For A Castle
"I'm blowing it all on a castle. No, not one of those fairy tale mansions from the 19th century robber barons called 'castles'.
"A fully loaded, honest-to-god, obsolete, medieval fortress. Two curtain walls, a keep, towers, barbican, portcullis, murderholes, loopholes, machicolations, the works. It'll be a well warmed summer retreat/place to hide out if another plague hits the world."
"I'm buying Au Train island in the Upper Peninsula to be specific. When the feds finally come after billionaires to pay their fair share, I'm running to my island and sealing the gates behind me."
"So I can get my affairs in order and pay my taxes. What were you thinking I was gonna do? Hide from the IRS? They can breach any castle lmao."-DaemonTheRoguePrince
I Wanna Be A Billionaire
- "I want a cold water dispenser on my desk. It has to be connected to the water line, filtered and cooled. Ideally it also has that thing that automatically knows when the container is almost full."
- "My new lifestyle would be to live 4 weeks in a different city, then 1 week at home. In each city, I would stay in a Luxury Airbnb or a five star hotel."
- "I would hire a professional soccer coach. I'm talking someone that trains pro players. I'm Arab and I'm tired of not being good at soccer, just a few months of lessons and I'll be able to participate in pick up games and have fun."
- "I would also hire singing, guitar and piano instructors. Singing would be the toughest because my voice sucks, but I figure with time I can be good enough to sing a song if I want to reference it. That's how bad I am today."-Reformedjerk
Imagine just not having to think when you click the "purchase" button.
A Nice Siesta
"Maybe not exactly "useless" in the way people are thinking (the way the question is asked makes me think by "useless" they mean "stupid/wasteful" but I'm thinking in terms of things that are fun and only for the purpose of having fun), but do vacations count?"
"If I had that much money all to myself, I would 100% rather have a regular sized house/car and spend the money on experiences instead."
"The idea of having a normal life but knowing that I can just decide to take the day off and go to DisneyLand or treat myself to a fancy dinner whenever the hell I want to is a fantasy I've had since I was literally a little kid."
"I get that those aren't useful things because they're not things I could USE like a car/house/purse/etc, but I'd definitely be happy:)"-StreetIndependence62
"Well this stuff is only useless if there isn't some sort of apocalyptic event that happens in my lifetime."
"That said, I'd go full prepper and bury myself a bunker in the desert with tons of food and water stored away and decked out with solar panels, a garage full of electric cars, and a stash of every sort of modern electronic equipment available in vast quantities."
"So this would be a huge waste of money if there's never an apocalypse. But it would be very valuable to me if there happens to be one."-TimHawks1983
"I have always wanted a talking toilet. I don't even know why at this point. I just saw it on a tv show, don't even remember what, and since that day I have thought 'yes, I want this.'"
"But right now, with my paupers wage, I cannot afford such a thing. I have a lot of serious plans for lottery level money. I would open a shelter for homeless people and start my own dog shelter. As well as my own theme park."
"But I would still get a talking toilet."-MagnificentColossus
Put Your Bird On My Shoulder
"I would get into falconry, vintage guitars from the 50s and 60s, a live in Cook, most of the surfaces that I touch would be marble, and I would save a significant portion of my money to split between investments and gambling on riskier stocks."
"Depending on how much money a private jet would be in the cards as well as a flight license. This is one of my favorite things to daydream about"-freemason777
The best part of all of this is, it doesn't matter that these things are useless.
They bring us joy, and that is what matters.
"Boring" "Flame Thrower"???
"Definitely a boring company flame thrower. And a Barrett M82."
"Probably a supercar too, but not to drive it. I want to light it on fire in a public space as an appeal to consumerism right before I go take a private jet to Nappa Valley to eat at the French Laundry and get hammered on the most expensive bottles of wine I can find."-xdylanxfrommyspace
"There are many things I bought that I regretted it immediately. I love to try new stuff. Especially no-brand or brand that is not famous. My curiosity is very high, that is the problem."
"I wanted to know whether those products are okay for human being. For example, I bought BioAqua face products. The most product I regret is BioAqua aloe vera. After my third use of the product, I actually experience worst allergic in the world."
"My skin had a lot of red patches appeared in just few hours. It was itchy but not painful. Just I keep scratching my skin but I tried my best to control it."
"It took about three - five days to keep it clear with medication and creams. Then after a couple of weeks, I decided to use it again. I got the reaction."
"Thankfully, I still have the medication and the cream. So, I took it immediately. I also did not apply the cream that much compared to previous time."
"I still have the aloe vera bottle in my room. I wanted to throw it but I could not throw it. Yet, I cannot use it and yes, I feel sad when I saw it. So, you can understand how I feel."-nimbledealing53
Hobby Hobby Hobby!
"If I won the lottery - I would open a shop for my favorite hobby. I would manage it like a business, giving a decent wage to several workers allowing them to pursue a degree or whatever and have a job that doesn't suck."
"I'd lose money on running a store. But I'd enjoy it. I'd enjoy sharing my hobby, selling the stuff I love at reasonable prices and giving a few young people a good job in a stress free environment."
"Useless store, great life experience for the people I'd employ."-Dealthagar
Money doesn't solve all of the world's problems or all of a person's problems, even—but it certainly does make life a little easier here and there for those who need it.
Hopefully the 21st century sees all of us buying things with our millions of dollars.
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