People Describe The 'Genius Idea' They Had While In An Altered State That Was Actually Really Terrible
Why do all of our best ideas happen when under the influence? Or is that a thought we just believe to be true?
I will say some of my best ideas spring forth with a nip of Grey Goose, but all the ideas at the bottom of the bottle never seem to pan out.
I can't be alone here.
I know that there has to be people who acted upon ideas born when smoking the Mary J. (do the kids say that anymore?) that when put into action thought... "Well that was a mistake."
Or are we tapping into the brilliant and it just needs a little nurturing? So many thoughts. Let's discuss... sober.
Redditorsfish27wanted to hear about all the best thoughts people had, but maybe while not on the best of terms mentally, they asked:
"Have you ever written down a 'genius idea' while drunk/tired/otherwise confused, then gone back to it later to find it was complete nonsense? What was your genius idea?"
I swear I have had the best workout ideas after margaritas.
But after I sober up I realize... one really shouldn't hang from a ceiling fan for ab support.
Carbs
"They should make a 'low carb' pasta salad, that just has vegetables in it. I looked at it later and realized that's just a salad." ~ crap_whats_not_taken
GiphyShovel It
"I used to think that I would get these amazing ideas before I would fall asleep and then I forget them in the morning. So I started keeping a journal next to my bed to write down these ideas. The only one I ever wrote down was 'pogo stick with a shovelhead on the end."' ~ High_Stream
Pizza
"I once woke up in the middle of the night with an idea that I desperately needed to jot down. Managed to key it into my phone before dozing off again. Went to check it the next morning to find a note that simply read 'Better a pizza cake than none.'" ~ Itrade
Cereal
"I was drunk and went to eat a bowl of cereal. Then started thinking about how great it would be if we invented deeper bowls with a handle, to make eating stuff while drunk and sitting on the couch easier. Got so excited about my idea and was genuinely baffled how nobody had seemingly thought of this genius idea before. Woke up the next morning and realized I had, in fact, invented the mug." ~ _MaddAddam
Hot Air
"I wanted to make my own hot air balloon by inflating an air mattress with helium. Didn't have a helium tank though." ~ KapitanKraken
GiphyHot air balloons are dangerous in general.
You'd have to be high just to try.
That is a death defying experience.
Yoda
"One time I had the idea to write something down when I was almost blacked out to see what it was in the morning and it turned out I wrote, ‘Yoda is the best time traveler.'" ~ ytubejammer
Giphy(???)
"I once dreamed that I was in a song contest and came up with a rap song with the chorus... 'White boy, black boy, gay boy, gameboy,' and when I woke up I thought it was the most wholesome thing ever. Black people, white people and even gay people can come together and be friends if they just put their differences aside and play Gameboy together. (???) To be fair, I was a kid. but still. I remember being excited about it FOR DAYS." ~ TurnstileT
"Wrote"
"I wrote a best selling novel in my sleep. 'Wrote' some ideas down on a pad next to the bed. Woke up excited about it and then realized I never clicked the pen to expose the tip. No book this year." ~ Harvard-23
"Bruh, you gotta rub the paper with the side of a pencil and expose the indentations. You were leaving yourself a coded message!" ~ pterrorgrine
My Blades
"I wanted to start a business that would increase efficiency of ceiling fans. I would travel to people's homes and sharpen their ceiling fan blades until they were razor sharp. The decreased resistance would make the blades faster and use less energy. Since literally no one has ever sharpened their ceiling fan blades, everyone was a potential customer." ~ chowderpouch
Sober...
"I wrote down some jokes that were funny and thought I should do stand-up. they were so funny that I couldn't stop laughing. Sober, they weren't even jokes. just some thoughts written down that made little to no sense." ~ BirdGuy64
GiphyWhat have we learned?
Just enjoy the high.
Don't overthink.
And also... you never know, it might work.
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People Reveal The Advice They'd Give To Someone Who's Dating Their Ex
The dating scene can be really tough, and obviously one of the most difficult elements is going to be the breaking up period.
For this reason, some Redditors shared the advice they would give to someone who had only just begun to date one of their ex partners.
Redditor drifterdodger asked:
"What advice would you give the person dating your ex?"
Last But Certainly Not Least
"Which one? For most, I would just say I hope it works out better for you than it did me, but for one of them, I'd tell you to treat her like a princess because she deserves the best."
- Rogukast1177
Mistakes Were Made
"Treat him well because he will treat you better than you have ever known. Make him laugh because he’ll make you laugh like you’ve never known."
"Let him hold the door open for you, he really wants to. Hold him back when he holds you and don’t let go."
"Don’t make the mistakes I did."
- abastreusmonzuzu
Be Communicative
“She’s wonderful, you’re the luckiest man alive. Treat her with all the love and respect she deserves. Make her feel safe, secure, loved, and desired."
"Take it from me, don’t project. Work on yourself if necessary so that you don’t pass that on to her and hurt her in any way. And if you do hurt her, talk to her, communicate, talk about it, and don’t keep it all in."
"Just be kind and loving, put yourself out there, and fight alongside her, not with her."
- iceman_x2
Fun in the Kitchen
"She’s a great cook, so if you’re a foodie, then inquire about all sorts of exotic stuff you want to try. She’ll probably make it for you."
- Whowhatwhynguyen
Underlying Insecurity
"Understand that when she says she hopes you have fun hanging out with your friends, she is actually furious that you decided to be with them instead of her, no matter how many consecutive nights you’ve spent together."
"This will then lead to her imagining several ridiculous and unrealistic scenarios of what you are 'actually doing,' which will then likely lead to her having a panic attack, and you will then need to leave whatever you are doing that night to go to her house and try to calm her down."
"So yeah, aside from that minor issue, she’s great."
- Godsfavorite_sinner
Rating: Zero Stars
"Flee. Get away, far away. Change your number, name, appearance, possibly gender."
- Expensive_Rhubarb_87
Would Not Recommend
"Just, don't."
- steppinonp**sclams
Secret's Out
"Check her phone once in a while. She’s cheated on you with pretty much every guy she’s ever met, and with every one of her exes, regularly."
- theronsharma
Textbook Ex Material
"As narcissists will, she will make you feel important. Once you are hooked, then she will manipulate you to bend your will. You will never live up to her expectations, so you will be seen as not a priority."
"Lastly, the sex is meh and I always thought she felt dirty by doing it, so that’s why we stopped."
- Fanabala3
Healing Time May Vary
"She needs to fix herself. She never gave herself time to heal and looks for healing in others instead of working on herself."
"She’s kind and good-hearted, but needs healing."
- EveSixxx
They're Just Hangry
"You can end arguments with food."
- heinous_nutsack
Sudden Heartbreak
"She loves steak but is scared of steak knives."
"She dislikes pork despite growing up in a region famous for its cuisine. Bacon is okay."
"If she falls asleep during the movie, let her lean onto your shoulder. She likes that."
"She can be quite funny with Facebook messenger text stickers but prepare for a shy and sweet person in real life."
"She loves to share her culture (mainland Chinese) and wants to learn about American culture so be well educated in Western sciences, arts, and history to answer her questions and equally eager to learn about hers."
"Take small steps literally. She was only 5'-0" with shoes and does not like a brisk pace."
"If it doesn't work out in person or things happen to where she had to go back to her homeland, don't expect a long-distance relationship. One day the messages do stop coming and your heart will break."
- playingwithechoes
Nostalgia Hurts
"If she's angry, buy her some chicken nuggets and milk tea."
"If she's sad, go to her house and make some instant noodles for her."
"If she's happy, well... good job, my friend."
"Make sure she drinks lots of water because she usually forgets to, make sure you play with her hair, and make sure to hold her hand whilst you're driving."
"Make sure to always say good morning to her, make sure that you prioritize her, make sure you give her lots of attention, and make sure you love her more than I did."
"I'm not crying, you are."
- fattyboomba123
Depends on the Ex
"Usually, I'd say run, but since it's the a**hat they cheated on me with (knowingly), I'd say: you deserve each other so go to h**l holding hands; I wouldn't want you to get lost on the way."
"To the other ex's partner: You are privileged to be loved by such an amazing and kind-hearted person, so hold on to and nourish this relationship to the best of your abilities, and hopefully it will make you both happy to the end of your days."
- gaylordtheblue
Call Anytime
"Take care of him. And if you ever decide to leave him, call me, I'll be there to pick him up."
- dreamingbabes
Usually when people think of talking about exes, the horror stories are usually the first to come to mind.
Fortunately for these Redditors, there were easily as many sweet and nostalgic stories as there were problematic ones.
Money is one of those things that many people find themselves wanting more of, simply for the sake of security and safety.
But for those who have money in multitudes, it's almost baffling how willingly they will throw large quantities of it away.
Already cringing, Redditor DefinitelyNot203Eels asked:
"What is the most egregious display of wealth you've ever personally seen?"
Unique Employment Opportunity
"I have a friend who was employed by a very famous old pop star. She lived on-site in his mansion (which itself was a very cute cottage) and was paid more than I am with no rent or bills for said cottage."
"Her job? To open the curtains of his bedroom in the mornings, put on classical music, and gently wake him up for the day."
"That sounds sexual, but it wasn't sexual; it was more like, 'Hey, hey big star, I know you're still sleepy but it's time to get up,' etc."
- princessflubcorn
Flaunting Cars
"My boss who owns his own plane likes to do s**t like flaunt the keys to his cars... Like, flick them round up close to the camera on a call to show off the logo."
"I think it really bugs him that I don't 'ooh' and 'aah' because I don't give a f**k about fancy cars."
"What does p**s me off is that there's an item I brought after much saving, and it means a lot to me. He heard about it and just went and brought two so he could comment about it."
- 10191AG
Her Annual Salary
"The company owner got a divorce, went on a shopping spree, and showed a receipt for tens of thousands of dollars to our receptionist as a way of showing off."
"What he spent was 80% of what she makes in a year. She was really uncomfortable and brought it to me as the HR (Human Resources) person."
- b***himgandalf
A Yacht for Your Yacht
"The first time I saw a support vessel, I was blown away."
"It's a yacht that accompanies your main yacht, and it stores your toys in its garage, it houses some of your staff, stores your supplies, etc."
- Eafeaturerequest
The "Just in Case" Staff
"I once met a woman while I was living in Singapore who was a full-time live-aboard chef for a super rich European who had several vessels, but only took a holiday on the one she worked on maybe once a year, but sometimes even more seldom."
"A full staff lived aboard full time, year-round, just in case this guy wanted to board, in which case they would sail to the port where he wanted them to pick him up."
- kiki_deli
The Biggest Cabin of Them All
"I worked in construction project management. We were building a log cabin for a very wealthy individual using western redwood. We had the piles, and foundation in place, the first floor completed, and about 25% done building the second floor."
"The largest base width of the redwood logs we were using was 44 feet, and the two-story fireplace that included 12 hearths was clad in architectural stone."
"The owner found out that the owner of a car dealership on the other side of the lake had just completed his log cabin with the largest logs being 46 feet in width. The owner got one of his employees to sneak onto the property at night and take measurements of the logs to confirm they were in fact bigger than the logs on his cabin."
"Once it was confirmed that the logs across the lake were bigger, he instructed us to take apart what has already been built, and source new, bigger logs with the smallest log being no less than 48 feet in width."
"He also instructed us to remove the architectural stone from the fireplace and replace them with actual stones. This required us to modify the foundation, as the weight of the fireplace increased by 1500%."
"After about 1.5 years, with no limit on overtime spending, the cabin was completed, with the largest log being 68 feet in width, and smallest being 48 feet."
"I ran into the car dealership owner at the lake town market one day and told him about the cabin we were building and how we had to pretty much start from scratch due to the size of his logs (and my boss's ego)."
"He simply replied, 'I had no idea your boss even owned a cabin here.'"
- ExaminationDouble240
So Humbling
"I had an amazing side gig instructing tech nerds how to drive their fancy cars at the racetrack (it's called an 'HPDE' or a High-Performance Driving Event)."
"A rich tech nerd shows up with a new McLaren 12C, delivered in a McLaren trailer and staffed by an entire crew of McLaren techs and engineers."
"Why?"
"The driver was complaining about how the $12k brakes would burn up after just one day at the track and escalated enough for McLaren to wonder if something was terribly wrong with the car."
"After one session, he huddled around a laptop with the engineers and found what was wrong: he was just that terrible of a driver."
- incomplete_
If You've Got It, Spend It
"A dude just kept grabbing stuff and having me ring it up. At first, I was like, 'You sure?' Then it eventually clicked that this guy was on a shopping spree."
"The shop had no human necessities. I don't remember the total by the end but it was close to 5 figures in USD."
"He pulled out his black AMEX that weighs like a pound and boom, a mile-long receipt."
"That was one of the few days I wished I made commissions."
- blippityblop
Rent Potential
"When I worked at Blue, Justin Beiber spent a stupid amount of money just to ski. He tried to rent the whole resort to make it private, but they wouldn't let him (which I still think is hilarious)."
"This area also has dozens of houses that are all valued well over $10 million, that all sit empty. They're just buildings that billionaires bought on a whim."
- stonedfishing
A Library Belle Would Envy
"I'm a custom metal worker. We did the penthouse at the Plaza Hotel in Manhattan, off of Central Park (the owner lived there). The floors were made of titanium plates."
"The wife had her own massive library and we had to make a rolling staircase that an old woman could move. We did, and it cost $80,000."
"We delivered it and she said, 'It’s too steep, can you make another?'"
"$80,000 later, she’s happy, and my buddy has a rolling staircase at his workshop."
- Denki
Holy Mansions, Batman
"I once toured a mansion under construction in Dallas that was about 45,000 square feet. It was about 80% complete when I visited and the interior finishes were amazing."
"When I was there, the artisans were hand-carving the front door details and the indoor-outdoor pool was being tiled."
"There was a bowling alley, a gift-wrapping room, a two-story master bedroom closet with a spiral staircase, and other over-the-top amenities including a ten-car garage with an oil change bay."
"Shortly after I was there, it burned down under mysterious circumstances, and its demise made the national news and a cover story in the Wall Street Journal."
- centexgoodguy
Wasteful Living
"A kid in my daughter's sorority drives a 2022 Lamborghini Urus. Every time I've visited my daughter, I see this car."
"It's filthy and covered in dings and scratches. My daughter says the owner has had it towed repeatedly by leaving it parked illegally in the street even though she has a space at the sorority."
"She'll just leave it on the street near the bars, Uber home when drunk, abandon the car until it gets impounded, and then pay to get her car back. Basically every weekend."
"In addition, my daughter says this girl's room is full of designer stuff that the girl bought for tens of thousands of dollars, wore once, and then threw on the floor."
"I should note that there are apparently several girls in this sorority with similar lifestyles."
- hiro111
It's Just a Parking Fee
"My boss had to impromptu get a new license to travel. When he was at the DMV, they said he had to pay like $100k in back parking tickets. He just set a card down and paid it."
"Apparently, he couldn't get a parking permit to be able to park in front of his house for some bulls**t reason, so he just parked there anyway, and just accepted that they were ticketing him like $100 per day for years."
- melodyze
Respectful Tipper
"I work at a Zipline in Hawaii. One time we had a couple of people come in, and one of them was a Saudi prince."
"Any time someone helped, or even talked to him, he had his 'assistant' count out hundred-dollar bills and give them to them. He tipped his guides $3000 a piece. It was wild."
- Jorjott
Paying It Forward
"While at a breakfast place I went to a lot in my hometown, I went to pay for my meal, and the waitress was like, 'Don't worry, it is covered.'"
"The next day, I went back. Once again, my meal was covered."
"Repeat for the rest of a week, and I was baffled."
"Apparently, some rich dude liked his breakfast a week ago and bought all orders for the following week and tipped all the staff $10k to keep it a secret and to cover the loss of tips for the week."
"It was a small mom-and-pop shop, but that still has to have cost him 100k or something. For a meal."
"There was intentionally no hype, and the other regulars and I were never told who it was."
- GoodRighter
While there were a few kind and generous people among the fold, the Reddit community could not believe the amount of money many people would spend simply because they could, even in support of bad habits, like terribly wasteful spending.
Having money certainly doesn't buy you manners or values.
People Break Down Which Things Everyone Should Know Before Getting Into A Relationship
Let's face it, being single is tough for a lot of us, especially when there's a special occasion coming up or all of our closest friends and family are in relationships while we're alone.
But the Reddit community wanted to remind the singles out there that there's more to think about in starting a new relationship than just feeling those butterflies.
Redditor Huge-Tackle-2152 asked:
"What is something everyone should know before getting into a relationship?"
Actions Above Words
"Love is an action and a choice. You need to make the choice to love someone you’re in a relationship with by showing that love to them."
"Love isn’t just the romantic feelings you have for someone. You have to actually 'do' love."
- eeo11
It's a Two-Way Street
"Not only are you getting a partner, but you also need to BE one, as well."
"Many people want to be in a relationship because they want someone, but they are not ready to actually be a partner, as well."
- BlockOfTheYear
Be Communicative
"Communication. If you're not communicating, then you're never going to be on the same page about anything, fights will never end, and problems will keep festering and come back to bite the both of you, etc."
- Codaxic
Argue Mindfully
"How you fight is important. It is so easy to hurt someone once you are close to them and you can't unsay things."
- Headgh
Accept the Dealbreakers
"Accept the other person as they are. You won’t be able to change them or who they are at their core, which means that if there’s something about them that’s a dealbreaker for you, don’t expect that it will ever change."
"Take that as your cue to leave or not start dating."
- eeo11
Accept Yourself, Too
"If you're pretending to be someone you aren't to get into the relationship, it's not going to work."
"You gotta cast your net a little further. There's a difference between putting yourself out there and pretending to be into s**t you secretly hate to land a partner."
- Vegan_Harvest
Not Everyone Is Your Person
"Don't chase someone who has made it abundantly clear they do not want you. If someone is interested in you, there won't be any confusion. It will be cut and clear."
"If you find yourself trying to change fundamental parts of who you are, to be what someone needs, that's not your person."
- LilRedChefInTheHood
You May Be the Problem
"Nobody is perfect, not even you. If you think someone is perfect, you are lying to yourself."
"If you think you are perfect, you are lying to yourself and everyone else. (And they are tired of your pompous bulls**t.)"
- RedIcarus1
Your Happiness, Your Responsibility
"If you think the other person’s job is to MAKE you happy, everyone is going to have a bad time."
"Of course, you can and should contribute to each other's happiness, but the individual must choose positivity and levity and work on their inner demons. No other people can achieve that for you."
- AnnoyinglyEarnest
Oops.
"Lust isn't love."
- TOMTEXOMA
Be Honest About Your Intentions
"Here’s one based on a painful experience of mine. If you’re not looking for a relationship and only want a f**k buddy, don’t pretend you want a relationship just to keep getting someone’s attention."
"You’ve wasted their time and will negatively impact their ability to have a relationship in the future."
- SectorZed
Don't Compromise on the Important Things
"But don’t compromise on your deal breakers or hope you can change someone. You should find someone who is compatible with you on the big things: what kind of life you want, if you want kids, how you handle disagreements, how you handle money, etc."
"Also, learn what common red flags for abuse are in relationships. Don’t compromise on those."
- ShimmeringShips
The Relationship Has More than Two People
"Have you met their family and friends?"
"Once you form a relationship, family and friends come along for the ride."
- Back2Bach
They Won't All Work Out
"Sometimes it’s just not worth fighting for. Relationships have hard times. But it shouldn’t ALWAYS be a hard time."
"Sometimes you just have to accept your energies don’t align and move on to allow yourself true happiness."
- Timeless_Clock_13
But Sometimes It's Worth It
"Love is a choice. You can be mad, you can be sad, you can be frustrated with your life, and it might reflect on your perspective of the other person, you might not even feel 'in love' at that moment, but you can always choose to love them."
"And usually, it's worth it."
- perunch
While the subReddit could admit that relationships can be pretty great, there are many considerations that go into committing to it.
From staying true to ourselves, to connecting to the other people in our partner's life, there's much more to love than romantic dates.
Hilarious Insults That Actually Sound Like Compliments At First
Who doesn't enjoy a compliment every now and then?
But have you ever thought you were complimented only to realize you've just been insulted?
For some people those backhanded compliments are unintentional, for some they're very much deliberate and for some people it's actually their love language.
Whatever the purpose, some of these veiled insults are downright clever.
Redditor Ad3quat3 asked:
"What’s an insult that sounds like a compliment?"
Ah, family...
"My uncle once said to me 'Nice tattoo, did you do it yourself?'."
"It's on my back."
- mikkelfromthegalaxy
GiphyWhat do I usually look like?
"You clean up well."
"Wasn't sure if compliment or insult or even how to respond."
Lord, it's hard to be humble.
"You are very modest and have much to be modest about."
- Gitaarfreak
Who else?
"Did you REALLY do that?"
- justthatrandomartist
Stay home next time.
"Thanks for coming!"
"You know, you really didn’t have to.”
- Little_LexiYT1
GiphyHow highly?
"No one could possibly think more highly of you than I do."
- sandyposs
Who cares?
"I love how you just don't care how you look."
"I could never do that I'd feel too awkward."
- meme_squeeze
GiphyDepends on the person, right?
"I hope your day is as good as you look!"
- tantoB
"I hope you get what you deserve."
- majesthiccbb
"May your day be as sweet as you are."
- twitterpated202
While some may consider it passive-aggressive, others just find these insults funny and clever.
So what's your favorite complimentary insult?