Financial Experts Break Down The Worst Financial Decisions They've Ever Seen A Client Make
The world of finance is a constant gamble. Algorithms change, dows drops, stocks pivot.... it's a never ending game, more intense and bloody than Game of Thrones and a 007 film. That's why its so important to find and listen to the people who become experts in this field. So why do so many of us gamble with our coins based on our own thoughts? Or intuitions? Especially since most of us never got past Algebra II.
Redditor u/weekendbrainsurgeon wanted to hear from those in finance field about bad decisions they've witnessed that we all should never try by asking.... Bankers, Accountants, Financial Professionals, and Insurance Agents of reddit, What's the worst financial decision you've seen a client make?Tilray Down
I had a client in her 70s put her whole savings in Tilray stock.
Tilray at the time was trading above 150 per share. I told her it was a terrible idea to put all of her savings in one investment but she told me I was wrong. She argued with me for a good 15 minutes until I relented and said okay, it's your money. So she put 300k into Tilray.
Couple weeks later it starts dropping, I call her and get no answer. It's sitting at 6 dollars a share now, her account is down to about 12k. Last time I spoke with her I took no pleasure in telling her she's no longer my client.
The Truth is Out
Had a client who was extremely wealthy about eight years ago tell us he was no longer going to use our services. Last year we get an extremely angry phone call from his wife asking us why we haven't been filing their taxes. We showed her the paperwork where her husband said he was no longer going to use our services. And then crap hit the fan. This dude apparently just decided he wasn't going to pay taxes anymore and didn't file a return for eight years and had been lying to his wife.
They were rich and owed almost 1.4 million dollars in taxes not including interest and penalties. And oh yeah they got absolutely fried by the IRS. If you are in a relationship with someone you need to be involved in financial decisions. Never let one party handle all of the money and make all of the decisions. That is how bad things happen in both business and in relationships.
Worthless
I had a client Buy numismatic gold coins with an entire retirement account. She bought 266k worth of coins at almost double the price of bullion. I got the gold salesman on the phone and asked him to justify the reasoning and I he said it was because the dollar was paper money and worth nothing and that gold was going to go to 10000 a coin. I asked him what he exchanged this gold for and he said "well she paid me dollars". Then I said "why would you accept a worthless currency for your rapidly appreciating gold currency?" He cursed at me and hung up and said I didn't know what I was talking about.
I still haven't met a gold salesman that can answer this. Their whole pitch is that the dollar isn't worth anything but they happily take them in exchange for gold coins. The whole thing is crap. Poor lady. She can't sell them now even with gold bullion as high as it is for anything close to what she bought them for.
I am a fully registered advisor just to disclose.
600 Down
Not my client.
Saw a guy invest about 600k in a start-up. He confirmed in the 1.5 pages agreement that he was fully informed about everything going on.
Please if you invest in that size, ask a lawyer to at least review the agreement.
Needless to say, said guy's net worth is 600k less now.
The Accountants Know
Accountant here.
If you're a small business owner and your business provides you with even a remotely significant amount of income, then get a separate bank account for your business income and expenses and never, never, never commingle your accounts. If you find that you need to make a business payment and you don't have that money in your business account but you do in your personal, then write it down in your books as money that you give the business that then gets spent on the business expense. Likewise, if you want to use your business income, pay yourself a wage or a 'dividend'. The moment you cross your accounts is the moment that you put yourself into tremendous financial paperwork frustrations.
The Lotto Scam
Former manager at a credit union. One seemingly smart lady in her 70s got one of those lottery scam letters saying she won, but needed to send them money to process her winnings. They kept getting her to send more and more money. We were telling her it was a scam from day 1, but we couldn't stop her.
She burned through her IRA which had about 200k. Took out a loan against her paid off house for another 200k. Sold her jewelry. Probably paid out 500k total before finally realizing.
We truly did everything we could. Got her family involved. Several of us would confront her every time she came in and would plead with her to stop.
It was sad but at some point you have to cut your losses and realize it's a scam.
Edit: I was the assistant manager at that point. We brought our risk management department and other higher ups in but they wouldn't close her account.
The whole 500k was not with us. We had no idea about the loan, jewelry and some money in other accounts that she gave out until after it was all over.
She even thanked us later on and wishes she listened to us.
100% Gone
I've made money with both stocks and options but I get on r/wallstreetbets sometimes to see how tf someone can go tits up so easily and omg.... "I have $50,000 in my account, let me throw 100% of that on Amazon puts that expire Friday." Ive also seen people who pull in $1m in their first year and try to tell everyone else how to trade. That's like me hitting it big on a slot machine and then pretending to be an expert.
Chose HULU
Using ALL of his "retirement" and daughters college tuition to short Netflix. He lost over a million dollars.
"sovereign citizen"
Best friend is a CPA, and when he had his own practice, he had some pretty big-name clients (Senators, musicians, pro athletes, etc.) One of the biggest mistakes people made were thinking they were smarter than an accountant. His biggest challenge were the people who heard about the "sovereign citizen" nonsense. To no one's surprise, a random guy on YouTube doesn't know more than an actual CPA with 40+ years experience. At least a few of these new-found "sovereign citizens" ended up doing time for tax evasion.
Just Exercise
A private company announced a special dividend to all shareholders as of date of record one-month in the future. $1.30/share dividend.
There was an option holder with 300,000 options at a $0.10 strike price.
He did not exercise them. Had he exercised his options for $30,000, he would have been paid $390,000 the following month.
Wordless
Not an accountant but I used to do Social Work that included some budget coaching. I was going over one family's monthly budget and trying to figure out how they were going to rearrange so they could pay the subsidized $10 copay for court ordered counseling that would make or break them keeping custody of their children. Now, budget was a little tight because only the dad worked. But he was making just under double what I made for helping them with the budget. And they were living in a gross trailer park where they paid next to nothing for rent.
And this was a step up from the gross motel room they had been living in before. And when I was nicely chewing them out for missing a counseling session, they were all too happy to explain the problem. Which, of course, was dad got paid on Thursdays (weekly) and the Counselor had them scheduled for Tuesdays (weekly.) So, there was no way they would have the $10 left to pay the Counselor on Tuesday.
The solution to this was they had to start driving across town to pay the Counselor on payday, and then drive to their (already paid for) session 5 days later. I was just getting my mind wrapped around this concept, when the mom called me all excited. She had fixed their financial problems. She refinanced their (POS 12+ year old) car. And she was so excited to tell me that instead of paying $385 a month, their new payments were only $115 a week. I still have no words.
Send in the Cars
I've seen people finance cars at over 30% interest. paying $500/mo for a 8-year old mustang, and will end up paying well over 2x the cars value, assuming they pay the loan off.
Edit: since this kinda blew up, here's a PSA for all the active duty (American) military people - any loan you took out prior to either enlistment or deployment is eligible to have the rate reduced to either 6.99 or 7.99% (google it before you call your bank, as it's been a couple years and laws change.) all you have to do is call your creditor and provide them with your orders and they have to reduce the rate, even retroactively, to the date you deployed (or enlisted.. again, google it).
Idiots.
- The client who joined an MLM and racked up half a million dollars worth of losses before finally listening to us and quitting.
- The client who spent $40k on Farmville over 3 months.
- The clients who give their adult children allowances that exceed my salary, fancy cars, and houses without expecting them to ever hold down a job themselves. vwh808
The Shoo-In....
Payroll accountant. I used to work for a company with an actuarial Department. There was a lovely young woman working in the call center with a masters degree in data science. She was constantly talking about how frustrated she was with making $16/hour in a call center when she had a masters degree in data science, yet no matter how many times I told her to apply to the actuarial team she wouldn't do so.
The actuarial team was HUGE about promoting within. I saw many people who wanted to learn more about what they do who had no experience whatsoever get excepted into the team because they wanted to learn. This girl was a shoo-in. And yet she never even tried despite the fact that there were always openings. She also shared with me that she was $180k in debt for that master's degree. Last time I checked in with her she had left the job completely and is now in school for art. (Insert facepalm emoji here.)
But my favorite was before I was even an accountant. I worked for a small CPA firm as a receptionist during tax time. I saw a full-grown woman sit down on the floor and start crying because she owed $900 in taxes that year when she had made about $150k that year. I rolled my eyes so hard that I hurt myself. Later that day I had a guy who owed $750k to the IRS and said "woohoo! That's way less than last year!"
The Lost Seat
Watched a client walk out of my office after I explained the risk in liquidating his 401K to start his own business. He started it with no management experience or business model, real "fly by the seat of his pants" kinda guy. Wanted to start a career flipping houses in a college town, turn them into upscale rentals. Did it in a bad neighborhood and lost EVERYTHING.
The Background
I'm a CPA and had a client whose business was going under. He started taking out payday loans on his own salary to pay his staff. When it gets this bad with no end in sight, time to reduce staff.
Also in r/accounting someone posted about wanting to file bankruptcy over $900 in credit card debt. This person was about to graduate college with an accounting degree and would have been making $50k starting out.
We all thought he was trolling us, but somehow ended up coming off as a legitimate situation. Who wants to hire a bankrupt accountant which shows up in background searches?!?!
Simple....
Probably not the worst, but one of the more perplexingly common...
Making over $250k (sometimes WELL over), no withholding, not paying estimated taxes throughout the year, can't afford the tax bill with the return EVERY YEAR, then complaining because they can't afford the installment payments on the taxes they owe from two years ago.
Moron, sell your gaudy, gross McMansion, take your teenage daughter's credit card away, let your drunk driving son stay in jail and get a public defender, and tell your horrible wife to stop spending all day at the tennis courts sipping mimosas. Get your mess together and pay taxes throughout the year like the rest of us. You aren't being persecuted by the IRS, you're just an idiot.
Don't Spend It!
I work for a bank. One of our branches had a customer who was basically homeless. Then, he wins the lottery! Over the next few months, the staff watched him come in to withdraw thousands of dollars every day to spend on extravagances. Everyone tried to convince him to sit with a financial advisor to help him make the most of his money. Less than a year later, he's in slightly better shape than when he started; he's at least able to live in the car he bought.
Countless Screw-ups....
What I've seen, countless times, is someone who started a business with ZERO research, no understanding of what running a business involves. (Here's a hint: practically every business involves paperwork and deadlines.). The business models come in waves... for awhile it was Barbecue shacks, then it was cupcakes, then house flippers, then food trucks. I think they see it being done on TV shows that make it look fun. It isn't fun when they come to me with debt, tax levies and lawsuits.
IRS and state labor department and health department on their backs, and suppliers taking them to court for unpaid bills. Some of them cashed out their retirement account to buy a business; others put their house up as collateral for an SBA loan. it's a nightmare. If they had come to an accountant first, we might be able to help them (or even better, dissuade then). I usually see them after 18-24 months of screw-ups and by then it's usually too late to rescue them.
ATM Issues
Banker. Banks charge fees for using other bank's ATMs.
I had a customer that would check his balance and then do withdrawals daily at a foreign ATM. Guy did not have a lot of money to begin with and because he did this, would overdraw his account and get slapped with an overdraft fee which put him in the hole further. We ended up taking away his ability to overdraw his account. Dude was pissed, but it helped right the ship a little.
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We aren't perfect. There's plenty of things in our pasts that we look back and cringe at.
That being said, sometimes those cringe moments go far past cringe. Sometimes they get to the point of no return awfulness because that's where our human nature took us in this moment.
He's Not Dead
<p>When I was 17 my brother walked into a room where I was lying down on my back and stamped on my chest. </p><p>I saw red and stood up and punched him square in the face, unfortunately this was in a doorway in front of a staircase, which he fell down backwards and when he hit the wall at the bottom folded up in such a way I thought I'd killed him. </p><p>He didn't move for what seemed like forever and I was certain he was dead, the world just spinning out around me. </p><p>He wasn't dead, obviously, but knocked out briefly and he never laid a finger on me again, after being the kind of nasty bully who had spent much of my childhood just randomly beating on me for his own enjoyment.</p><p>Those were the longest seconds of my life.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MrSpindles/" target="_blank">MrSpindles</a></p>Complete And Total Taking Over
<p>I don't know about "haunts" but it makes me cringe. In public school we had this thing in our school called 'Jumpstart for Kids' where you'd go around, often door to door, collecting money for this charity once a year. </p><p>Anyway I was 12 and I liked a boy in highschool and he convinced me to take the envelope and go door to door and collect money... to give to him so he could buy a drum set. </p><p>I walked around collecting from all these sweet people who told me I was so nice for collecting money for underprivileged kids. Fortunately I got caught and my parents made me donate it instead. So embarrassing.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/heather-rch/" target="_blank">heather-rch</a></p>Scene Of The Crime
<p>Provincial Park, pay shower, 12 years old, line-up to get in. Towards the end of my turn in the shower, get the urge to poop. Cannot hold it. Using a sock to smoosh the last of it down the drain, water turns off. Out of quarters. Put a towel over my head, run out of there past the line-up.</p><p> Get back to the camp site, immediately change clothes, shoes, hairstyle, put on a ball cap. Work up the courage to go by the area later on, it is all cordoned off. Hear people angrily discussing how someone took a dump in the shower.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/eskerhobolo/" target="_blank">eskerhobolo</a></p>When Bullying A Bully Isn't Worth It
<p>We had a camper in this large campground at a lake when I was growing up. Tons of families with kids riding bicycles and golf carts up and down the gravel roads through the property. </p><p>There was this one kid that was a few years older than me (I was 10, he was probably 12 or so) who's dad was the security guard and they lived on site and he was the biggest punk in the park. He'd try and wrestle you in the pool, throw rocks at you as you were fishing, ride off on your bike if you left it laying around, bully and hit smaller kids, even girls. </p><p>I was driving the golf cart down a pretty steep, gravel hill one day when I came up on him on his bike, going the same way as me. He never turned around to acknowledge I was there so I got up just to the side of him and turned HARD right into him. We were both going probably 10-15 miles an hour down this hill. </p><p>He took a nasty spill and rolled off the side of the road and wasn't moving. I kept on going, acting like nothing happened. We were completely isolated so no one saw me. I remember him getting taken away in an ambulance and hearing that he'd been hurt pretty bad.</p><p> I immediately felt remorse for what I'd done but never said a word to anyone. He or anyone else never had any idea I did it either. I look back now and think about how much of a financial strain I put on that family, seeing as how they were already living in a camper. That was a really REALLY evil thing I did and it still crosses my mind quite often.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/harp9r/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">harp9r</a></p>Not Hurting
<p>So you know the carnival horses you can sit on outside of grocery stores (back in the 90's). Well I wanted to ride one and this sweet old woman tried to help me get on, slipped, and really really hurt herself falling into the ride. I just remember hearing her scream and I got scared and ran away.<br></p><p>I'm 31 years old and think about that day at least once a week.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/packhawk2689/" target="_blank">packhawk2689</a></p>Gotta Get Up, Gotta Get Out
<p>Easy. When I was 5, I burned my house down.</p><p>We were living in a small home, me, my sister, mom, dad. I was supposed to be in the bed, but I wanted a toy or <em>something</em> that was under my bed, and I didn't want to wake my parents by turning on my light... soooo I grabbed my dad's cigarette lighter and light the flame under my bed. Needless to say it went up like a match. </p><p>My dad tried to stomp the fire out after I started screaming fire, burning his leg horribly. My room and the source of the fire was blocking EVERY other bedroom from escape, so everyone had to jump out of a window. Funnily enough, I don't remember the world-class a** whipping I must have received for that. I just cringe at the thought that I almost killed all of us being a dumb kid.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Paradigm_Pizza/" target="_blank">Paradigm_Pizza</a></p>Escape
<p>I was married to an insanely abusive man. After two years I escaped and he killed himself shortly after. Not sure if it was him avoiding charges, or avoiding his deployment but his family decided it was 100% my fault. They told the police I gave him the gun and encouraged him. </p><p>That was investigated and unfounded. What they didn't know was he'd scanned and emailed me his suicide note the wee hours of the morning of. The police didn't find the note. Of course I handed it over when they asked. His family would not believe I wasn't involved or at fault and harassed me for a long time. </p><p>If I got a job and they found out about it they'd call and leave so many complaints I'd get let go. Found out what I drove and had their other kids and their friends follow me. </p><p>I ended up having to leave that town and disappearing to avoid them. But before I did, I printed a copy of his suicide note, found his moms car at her job, and left it on the window shield. That note detailed the abuse his father put him through, his rage at his mother for never leaving him and making himself and his siblings live with the SOB. </p><p>That he never wanted me to blame myself, that this was his way of getting the hell away from them and the damage he caused. I felt pretty bad for awhile. But at the same time.... they literally wouldn't leave me alone and stalked me for 5 years.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/TinyTinasRabidOtter/" target="_blank">TinyTinasRabidOtter</a></p>If You Give A Pup A Shower
<p>Bored in the house one day alone when I was about 10, so decided to give my dog a shower, I genuinely loved my dog, he was my best friend growing up, but for some unknown reason I decided to turn the shower onto hot water only (extremely hot) and started showering him. There was a delay I guess in him reacting because his fur was so thick, which meant I kept it on him for a few seconds.</p><p>suddenly He started yelping like dogs do when in pain, his instincts were to not be aggressive or try to escape but just looked at me scared and confused.</p><p>I panicked smashed on the cold and cooled him down as quick as I could.</p><p>Fortunately he was not 'burnt' or had any ongoing issues, he never even lost trust in me.</p><p>I felt physically sick and ashamed in myself for days after, and obviously it still bothers me 20 years later.</p><p>The good thing to come from it is that I was so disturbed by my action that I have never knowingly inflicted pain on anyone or anything since.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/ChrisLeeHD/" target="_blank">ChrisLeeHD</a></p>Caught In The Act
<p>I was at school and for no reason at all, I eavesdropped a very private and delicate conversation between one of my teachers and her husband. </p><p>Then she opened the door and saw me eavesdropping. It was beyond humiliating and I deserved the scolding afterwards. I was young and stupid obviously, but when I remember the look on her face, I still cringe hard, even if it's been almost 20 years.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/naydeilinsei/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">naydeilinsei</a></p>Shunned
<p>Second grade, I had a classmate (fake name Sasha) who was kinda awkward. Crooked teeth, quiet, not too bright. Didn't really have any friends within the class, though she did have some people she would hang out with at recess. </p><p>In any case, a boy in the grade above us, a friend of my brother's actually, for some reason decided to spread a rumor among all of us that Sasha had lice and to stay away from her. </p><p>I bought it without a second thought, and so did most of us; as far as I know, she wasn't particularly teased, but she was just shunned. No one talked to her. </p><p>She was around till the end of the year and didn't come back for third grade. No clue what happened to her, but I really hope we didn't mess her up too much.</p><p>Next summer, I got the worst case of head lice my pediatrician had ever seen. Karma, my dudes.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Isabel79540/" target="_blank">Isabel79540</a></p>Image by elizabethaferry from Pixabay |
I don't miss high school or the people in it. People who seem to have peaked in high school also weird me out. How? Why? I can definitely tell you that life got much more interesting the older I got (my 20s were way more fun than any of my time in high school). If you were to ask me if I have any regrets, I suppose I would say that I wish I had been more assertive and stood up for myself more. Depression has a way of complicating goals like that, though. Let me tell you: It feels nice to be so much healthier than I was then.
After Redditor Sub2735 asked the online community, "What's your biggest regret from high school?" people shared their stories.
"I'm sure the mentality..."
<p>Being too shy, I'm sure the mentality that everyone hated me wasn't very good for making friends.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpad84o?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">aeflare</a></p>"I'm not sure how it could have gone differently..."
<p>Dropping out. I am not sure how it could have gone differently, but I do wish it had. It was expensive to upgrade all that education to get into post-secondary, and I also missed out on a lot of social things.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpafhng?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DaughterEarth</a></p>"I was already pretty cynical..."
<p>I was told I had received a full-ride scholarship, so I stopped putting in any effort on other scholarships. When the time came, it wound up being awarded to someone who applied late, got it due to their family's income level, and then dropped out of college after one month. My first two years of college were a financial nightmare as I had to pay my own way on everything (except rent, as I lived at home and commuted across state lines for work and college). If I had $50 at the end of the month, that was a damn good month. I couldn't get student loans and my parents refused to help, so I had worked out a deal with the financial office at college to pay something like $550 a month, which was about 90% of my income.</p><p>I regret not confronting whoever made that decision about the scholarship. I somewhat regret not putting in the effort to get other scholarships at the same time, but I can't blame myself for it either.</p><p>I was already pretty cynical at that point, but that was when I realized just how quickly your back becomes a knife block for someone else's optics.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpalo5m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">A_Garbage_Account</a></p>"I used to daydream..."
<p>I used to daydream about going back one day and burning it to the ground, but it's just been demolished by land developers. So I guess that dream's dead.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpafcpx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EducationTangle06</a></p>I suppose the phrase, "Always follow your dreams"...
<p>...doesn't apply in this case.</p>"Acting like a clown..."
<p>Acting like a clown, annoying everyone to the point where no one really stayed in contact with me after, and taking my precious little charter school for granted.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpae5ak?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SalFunction12</a></p>I have a friend who has expressed similar concerns about his time in high school.
<p>He ended up spending his college years going to therapy and maturing. His clownish antics were a coping mechanism for a lot of crap going on in his life at the time. He's happier and healthier now and that's what matters.</p>"To be fair..."
<p><span>Dating my best friend. To be fair that's how I found out a lot of people weren't really my friends but getting ghosted afterward really hurt.</span></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpasudw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">kannacantplay</a></p>"She got tired..."
<p>I took my crush to Daft Punk Alive 2007 instead of my best friend. She wasn't responding all day, and I was with my friend. We were about to leave when she called. She'd been with her boyfriend all day and had forgotten about the concert. I took her. My buddy was disappointed but cool about it.</p><p>She got tired of being on the floor halfway through so we sat in the bleachers. We started walking out before the encore because she wanted to get home sooner.</p><p>Always wanted to take my buddy to a Daft Punk show after that, and was going to, no matter where or how much it cost. But I'll never get the chance.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpbd6so?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">spanishgrapelaw</a></p>"Looking back now..."
<p>I regret not telling my crushes how I felt about them. Looking back now, I know that those puppy love relationships probably wouldn't have developed into anything long term and I no doubt would've had my heart broken when they inevitably ended but, I can't help but wonder: What if?</p><p>Having cultivated a host of insecurities by the time I got to high school, I was really good at hiding my inner thoughts and feelings - I also probably didn't see myself very clearly. So, I just assumed that there was zero chance of my crushes reciprocating my feelings and never said anything to them about it. I also probably sub-consciously ignored any signs that they were interested in me (again, didn't see myself clearly, was very insecure).</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpazwl2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Vegoceraptor</a></p>"The world is wider..."
<p>Not engaging with opportunities available to me and just looking at it like a holding pen just before adulthood.</p><p>It may seem hokey, but join clubs, try out lots of sports, pursue interests, pay attention in class and engage with your peers.</p><p>The world is wider for adolescents than I allowed myself to believe it was at the time.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpaxnsf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Big_Requirement_3540</a></p>"I already knew I was quitting..."
<p>Senior year I had the option of a guaranteed internship and doing half days at school. Turned it down because my parents wanted me to be in band (and I enjoyed it so didn't put up a fight).</p><p>I already knew I was quitting when I went to college. The internship would have been great experience to propel my studies/career.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpatszd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ClubbsMcLubbs</a></p>High school isn't easy.
<p>Nor is it particularly fun for a lot of people. Remember how awful being a teenager was? Remember what it was like to feel like you were at the whim of your hormones all the time? It's an emotional rollercoaster. It's no wonder so many people would rather close the book on high school once it's over (or have some regrets related to their time there).</p><p>Have your own stories? Feel free to share them in the comments below.</p>When we are on the outside looking in, it can feel so obvious that a relationship is doomed.
When we offer advice to friends, family, or people oversharing at a party, the correct next move often seems wildly obvious: get out of that relationship.
Enough Was Enough
<p>"He was mentally ill, possibly with Paranoid Personality Disorder, definitely delusional, maybe schizophrenic. I was accused of all types of things, affairs, being part of plots to 'get' him, even urinating on his toothbrush."</p><p>"I stayed for 3 years after I knew I no longer loved him because I knew he would spiral without someone to look after him. He had destroyed every relationship with his friends and family because they were all also out to 'get' him."</p><p>"I finally told him I would only stay if he got help, which he refused. So I left."</p><p>"I was right about him spiralling. He went from sharehouse to sharehouse as all the other tenants were 'out to get him'. He eventually ended up homeless for a while is now facing 18 different charges so will probably end up in jail."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpal6ip?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">damekl</a></p>An Unfortunately Common Response to Fading Love
<p>"She threatened to kill herself and even though I wanted out of the relationship, i didnt want her to be hurt or die. I remember us arguing about something very trivial but she was getting very upset. She walked out mid conversation and came back with cuts all over her legs and thighs."</p><p>"I tried getting help from parents, school counselors, doctors. None helped. So i just tried to manage as much as I can. Eventually she joined the military & moved away and that was the moment I was finally free."</p><p>"Years wasted though."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpab7fm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">corazon_im_hurt</a></p>A Bare Bones Story
<p>"Short version: domestic violence."</p><p>"Long version: I was afraid to leave because I believed he would find me and kill me."</p><p>"Conclusion: He pushed me too far and I ran."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpaizjk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AliceMorgon</a></p>Tipping Over the Edge
<p>"He was a violent drug addict and I was scared of what he may do if I left. I never truly loved him but our relationship became very codependent very quickly."</p><p>"He cheated on me, took advantage of the fact that I had a car and money, but I still stayed because he was always threatening to kill himself or to kill my cats."</p><p>"Then one night he literally backed me into a corner and tried to punch me in the head so that finally made me open my eyes and realize I had to get out."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpb5z6l?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Theging96666</a></p>Optics
<p>"She's terminally ill, and dying of Cancer, even though she is abusive now, and was before, I can't really leave, the social pressure to be a *good man* plus the cost of divorce and everything else is just too much, at this point it's just easier to wait it out."</p><p>"Plus I really like her family, and if I left her when she was sick...it would pretty much kill that relationship."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpbm18j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Boise_State_2020</a></p>Always a Reason to Stay
<p>"We were living together at 16, she cheated on me and I told her I wanted her to leave, she begged me not to send her back to her moms house because they have like 8 people in a 2 bedroom house and because she would've had nowhere else to go."</p><p>"I was 16 I didn't know how to handle a girl literally begging me so I let her stay against my better judgement and it created a hurtful cycle of falling in and out of love."</p><p>"Feeling like things could get better and then having my world come crashing down every time I look at her because I think of reading the message of the guy saying he loved watching her get on top of him."</p><p>"A couple of years go by and we're not in love, just tolerating each other at this point and then we got pregnant, stayed together through the pregnancy but the stress was too much for both of us and caused fighting, sleeping apart, more cheating."</p><p>"When the baby was born she had finally turned 18 and we moved away our relationship got much better with each other, we're best friends now and are just trying our best to raise our daughter to be healthy and happy and know she's loved."</p><p>"Neither of us had good childhoods."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpa47ed?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Lapidot-Wav</a></p>For the In-Laws
<p>"I lived with a man I never loved. His mum was also living with us and I loved her more than my own biological mum."</p><p>"She was the nicest, kindest and the most caring soul I have ever met in my life. I left that man when he told me that he knew I was only with him because of his mum. That was 20 years ago but I still miss her every single day."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpbz7av?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Mayfl21</a></p>A Sudden Shift
<p>"I was with my wife for 14 years. For at least half of that, I wasn't happy with the relationship. But I had decided I was ok with it because everything about our life together was acceptable, for lack of a better word."</p><p>"We owned a house, made good money, got along well, shared hobbies, etc. We were basically roommates/best friends who just didn't love each other the way you would normally expect from a married couple."</p><p>"When the pandemic hit, and we were forced to stay home more and spend time with each other EVERY DAY, we started to get a better sense of how well we actually tolerated each other. It didn't go well."</p><p>"She ended up getting really into online gaming and met some other guys and basically cheated on me. In retrospect, it was obvious it would reach that point."</p><p>"But I was content to stay there as long as I could because it was a comfortable life with very little stress and obligation."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpaadi2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">knucklehead923</a></p>Slow Fade
<p>"I was no longer as 'in love' with her. But I still loved her. After years together it could become tricky to figure out exactly what It's just a lull and what is it really going away."</p><p>"I was still living with my best friend. But ended it because once we really realized that I wasn't feeling the same way anymore. I was just hurting her for me to stay since she was still in love."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpa6h2s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">collin3000</a></p>Wise, But a Little Sad
<p>"We have good chemistry and built a life together. After a lot of years, love comes and goes. It is like the seasons."</p><p>"As cold as it can be in the winter, if you put the effort in, the spring will always come back."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpa41jl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Aizpunr</a></p>Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay |
Some people don't take breakups very well. And those that don't can sometimes engage in behavior that others might view as bothersome, unsettling, even toxic.
Others engage in abusive behavior during the relationship, a major red flag that some people might not take seriously until it's too late.
After Redditor XYZ3110 asked the online community, "What's the creepiest thing an ex has done?" people shared their stories.