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The Dumbest Arguments Ever

The Dumbest Arguments Ever
Photo by Kajetan Sumila on Unsplash

We’ve all had arguments with people that make us want to bang our head against a wall. But the most difficult arguments are the ones with dumb people or people who always think they are right, when they clearly are not. These Redditors have stories about the most idiotic and painful arguments they’ve had, from parents or bosses who don’t listen and people who can’t be proved wrong, no matter what.

1. No Other Place To Nap

When I was working one day, I had to reprimand a guy for sleeping in a freezer. He moved all the food off the shelf and took a nap. I woke him up, pulled him into the office and he denied it over and over again. Finally, he said, “Why would I sleep in a freezer?” And I just yelled, “I don't know!”

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2. Find The Fan File

MacBook Pro turned on Photo by Andras Vas on Unsplash

My cousin said that her laptop was overheating and making a buzzing sound. Her friend piped up and commented that it was most definitely a virus and that she should take it to Geek Squad to have it removed. I said, "No, it's not a virus. It's probably your fan. Your fan is messed up. It's probably just dusty, try cleaning that out."

This girl got righteously angry and told me that no, it was a virus, and she knows because she had the same issue with her laptop a few months ago and Geek Squad fixed it. This went back and forth for a bit with me insisting that a virus doesn't affect the fan function, it was literally a hardware issue, and she was talking to me like she couldn't believe how stupid I was to not realize that a virus was making my cousin's laptop fan bog down.

I finally explained to her how viruses work. Her reply was so idiotic, it’s unforgettable. She stomped her foot like a child and exploded, "It’s still a virus! The virus just deleted the file that runs the fan!" I stare at her in disbelief. "The file that runs the fan? What is that, fan.exe?" and she said, "Finally, you get it!" She was so convinced that this was the case that my cousin believed her and said she would just take the laptop in to have it checked and cleaned.

Whatever, if you want to pay out to have some smug jerk at Geek Squad "fix" your laptop, that ain't my business.

thebloodofthematador

3. Mr. Know-It-All

My best friend married a partner at an investment firm. His arrogance and smugness have only intensified since I met him. But that’s not the worst part. She’s scared to leave him because he will destroy her. It’s difficult to even talk to him because he can’t grasp simple concepts and thinks I’m stupid because I didn’t go to an Ivy League school. He didn’t either, but his excuse is that he’s not from the US.

I tried explaining to him once that as long as the R estimate for COVID was above 1, then the number of cases would keep increasing. It’s exponential growth, which is something you would think someone in investing should be able to comprehend. He didn’t understand so I dumbed it down and said for every 10 people who have Covid, if they infect 11 people then the infection rate would go up even though those first 10 people got better.

I tried to explain sixth-grade math and he was looking at me like I was the stupidest person he had ever spoken to. He tried to argue that for every one person who had Covid they would have to infect at least 10 people before the infection rate increased. He was flabbergasted that he had to explain such a simple concept, even though he was incredibly wrong.

For background, I have an advanced degree in a statistical field. I have peer-reviewed publications of mathematical models I’ve developed. I’m known as one of the two Bayesian specialists at my university. He had a beginner’s Bayesian book sitting on his table when I came to visit once. He saw me eyeing it and he grabbed it and said he was trying to learn about what “his data people were doing.”

I said I had a pretty decent concept on the topic if he had any questions. First, he did this insulting laugh. Then he said something so rude, it made me see red. In a super condescending tone said, “No offense, but this is way too hard for you, you wouldn’t understand,” and then walked out of the room with the book. Last week he overheard me talking to his wife about a project of mine.

He told me I didn’t know what I was doing and then tried to explain my project to me even though he didn’t actually know what I was doing and he has the statistical capabilities of a kindergartner. I finally stopped him and told him that what he was saying wasn’t correct and that stats don’t work that way. He told me I didn’t know what I was talking about and that I would never be able to find a “real job” anyway because I didn’t go to an Ivy League school.

I work for an R1 university and have government contracts and am not looking for a new job. I just turned my back to him and started talking to his wife again. The absolute arrogance of someone truly thinking they are the smartest person in the room. The worst thing is that is how he got rich. He started his first job at an investment firm bringing in clients and worked his way up.

He talks with such conviction that he sounds brilliant…if you didn’t actually know your stuff. He’s also very attractive and has made it into a Buzzfeed article because of his appearance, which he’ll never let go of, and a smooth talker, which I think makes people want to believe him. But darn, he’s so stupid it’s painful!

IHeartSquirrels

4. Ignorance Is Bliss

red letters neon light Photo by Simone Secci on Unsplash

I was having an argument with my aunt and she said something which I asked her to define what it meant. Her response was utterly insane. She told me to never ask questions because it was a stupid thing to do. I rolled my eyes, left, and never talked to her again besides the obligatory exchanging of pleasantries at family gatherings.

Faaarfatchd

5. Can’t Argue With A Flat Earther

I met a flat earther. He said the whole thing was a conspiracy. I tried asking him where the edge was and he said it was a ring of ice. I tried explaining that for his conspiracy to work, literally hundreds of thousands of people around the world in various space agencies would need to keep the secret yet not one has come forward with the "truth."

It didn't work. I also tried telling him we have literal photos and clips of the round earth spinning and he said it was a lie. No matter how much logic the rest of us threw at him he just refused to accept it. We all came away thinking less of him because he was being so stubborn.

graeuk

6. Miss Know-It-All

woman in white crew neck shirt smiling Photo by Jake Nackos on Unsplash

I used to have a friend who would legit argue with you about your own experiences, tastes/opinions, and pretty much anything else. Some examples include: Insisting that neither my husband nor I could possibly remember September 11 because we were only 11 years old at the time. Also insisting that no one could possibly remember anything from before the age of 10.

She said that I was lying about the fact that I can remember every teacher I ever had, and have memories from as young as three years old. They tried to start an argument that polio isn’t contagious. If you liked some piece of art, clothing, home design or another purely opinion-based thing that was simply not her taste, you were wrong.

When I expressed an interest in living abroad for some of my life, she tried to sit me down and lecture me that she knew better than me about whether or not I would enjoy it. Her conclusion was that I wouldn’t. She refused to acknowledge that professional Adobe products are now only available by subscription, and insisted that I must be wrong in telling her so.

She began explaining why pattern making for clothing would be too hard for me to learn, moments after I explained to her what it was. She had never heard of it before and had no idea how clothes were made. She started an argument with me that my nephew is not adorable and that no one really finds children cute, they just pretend to.

She wouldn’t hear of the possibility that someone could go to Iceland and enjoy themselves just because her brother had a stopover at the airport there and was very bored. Sure, it was all annoying—but it was nothing compared to her worst moment. She got upset when our friend group didn’t approve of her brother calling a Black man the N-word because he “needed” to make the guy really angry. There were so many more but I can’t remember them all.

Every interaction with her was an exercise in frustration. Her only tactics for debating or arguing were repeating the same stupid points over and over again after they had been combatted, making you feel like you’re emotional or unreasonable when she said something incredibly hurtful and offensive, and talking over everyone while being very condescending and rude.

poisonergranny

7. Difficult Times

My friend's boyfriend didn't observe daylight savings time. He understood that the rest of us did. He just didn't. I said, "Ok, but if we agree to meet for dinner at 5 o'clock, we're both using my 5 o'clock, right?". I tried explaining that I observe daylight savings exactly twice a year, once when I set my clocks back and once when I set my clocks forward.

The rest of the time it's a non-entity in my life. However, by not observing daylight savings, he has to observe daylight savings at all times every day, as he constantly has to worry about converting his internal time to whatever time the rest of the world is using. I was unable to convince him of that logic, however, as he is a stupid person.

Sagmag

8. Phones Are Stupid

selective focus photography of man wearing blue and white striped collared top Photo by yerling villalobos on Unsplash

Anytime my father-in-law tries to start a discussion which is a thinly-veiled attempt to have a "gotcha!" moment against me or my wife, as soon as he starts losing, the actual specifics of the argument go out the window and he starts character attacks or makes wild accusations about what is or isn't allowed in the discussion.

He tried to support the claim that Kamala Harris can't be president because her parents weren't citizens so I pulled up the US Constitution on my phone and read the amendment for presidents and rather than engage with that, he said I was wrong and the paper that his sister read was right, and I don't really know anything, I just know whatever my phone knows.

ImThorAndItHurts

9. Stubborn Child

In school for my new job, at the beginning, there was a woman sitting next to me. I was like 22 or 23 years old and she was easily 40 years old. At the beginning, we got along well but then—things changed. She started to desperately search for similarities and it got annoying. Then she always asked me about stuff the teachers said while the teachers still talked.

She basically wanted a live translation from me but without changing the language. Of course, this resulted in both of us not being able to listen anymore. No way to explain to her that she should just listen herself and at least try to understand. I would've happily tried to help her afterward when I had time to hear it myself.

First clue was that she was not so bright. I was incredibly over her but still stayed nice. Then we were supposed to work in pairs on a small but not easy task. Of course, she didn't understand a word. I explained one thing to her for the umpteenth time. Sometimes it's cursed, you just don't get one thing. But then she proceeded to tell me I was wrong.

Which was fine if she could only tell me why. But no, it was a matter of, "I have no clue what's up with that. I don't understand it in the slightest but I just know you're wrong about it just because". I was not wrong. I re-read it 10 times in our sources, found different sources, and tried to break it down to basically elementary school levels.

She stopped listening to me and just continued to argue that I was wrong. Remember, that woman was more than 15 years older than me and around 40 years old. I lost my patience, stopped talking to her, and just presented the task by myself. She did not admit anything after the fact. Shortly after, she changed seats after a different incident, and not long after that she dropped out. Surprise, surprise.

mycrazyblackcat

10. The Apple Guy Who Discovered Gravity

person holding green apple Photo by Jony Ariadi on Unsplash

Both my friends were incredibly smart but one of them refused to believe that gravity actually exists. He was convinced that if "the apple guy" didn't discover gravity we as a society would have the ability to play with brainpower. I stopped trying to talk him out of this but the other friend was almost foaming at the mouth with rage over this conversation.

APrettyBadDM

11. Fly Out Of My Life

I have a lot of birds, budgies, cockatiels, lovebirds, cockatoos, canaries, hummingbirds, etc. I study birds and I built an aviary for each species of bird on the second floor of my house. Each bird has its own aviary and I take care of them. Most of the birds in my aviary are tamed. All of my budgies are tamed, all of my cockatiels are tamed except for the really young ones.

Half of my lovebirds are tamed, the majority of my cockatoos are tamed and my hummingbirds and canaries are in the process of being tamed. So three months ago my mom wanted to visit me for my birthday and went to my house. I cut her out of my life three years ago for protecting a man who had assaulted me, so I tried to never talk to her again.

She found out where I live because of my brother and went to my house. She came inside my home and we talked for a bit, then I showed her my aviaries and my birds and she started telling me that I was maltreating them and that these birds should be on the streets. Keep in mind these are budgies, canaries, cockatiels, and hummingbirds, animals that probably wouldn’t survive due to cats, especially budgies and cockatiels.

I calmly explained to her what would happen if one of my birds escaped and we kept talking. Later she brought up the discussion again and started calling me an animal abuser and a piece of trash. I told her what would happen if a cat saw a budgie and thought of attacking it. We started arguing and she said I should let them go. But the worst was yet to come. She then ran to my budgies’ aviary and opened the doors.

I just watched as half of my birds flew to my arms, some flew towards my room and got inside my bathroom and half of my birds just freaked out and stayed inside the aviary. I stopped her when she tried to open the cockatoos and the hummingbirds' aviary and I kicked her out. All of my budgies were like, “What in the world just happened?”

I spent an hour and a half finding everyone and getting them back to the aviary. She never contacted me again. The next morning the authorities showed up saying a woman had called telling them I was mistreating my birds and they went inside to look at my birds. They ended up covered in bird poop, because I opened my budgies’ aviary door and they had the birds all over their head and shoulders! We got a good laugh and they left.

Substantial-Ship-697

12. Unforgettable

blue and green peacock feather Photo by Milad Fakurian on Unsplash

After talking to a stoner friend about how having weed impairs your brain's formation of memories, he had the perfect one-liner. He said: "That doesn't happen to me, I don't remember forgetting anything."

ragingveela

13. Veggies Will Cure It All

This was so infuriating, I’ll never forget it. I opened up about my inability to have children and how frustrated I am with people recommending things that won’t work for me because the problem isn’t infertility. A woman started up about how I should try going vegan to cure my infertility. I reminded her that wasn’t the issue.

She pressed on, saying she didn’t believe in miracles but for her, it was like hitting a switch. She’s had two babies since going vegan and she couldn’t be happier, maybe I should try it. I said no. She got offended that I refused to even consider. I’m not infertile. Trying to carry a baby would destroy my body Breaking Dawn-style.

Plus, I’m on two medications that corrupt my eggs like a computer virus, so I really cannot have children.

An_ineffable_plan

14. Know Your Math

red and white brick wall Photo by IGOR SECHINOV on Unsplash

I had an argument with my garage door installer. He was installing the motor and I noticed that it was 1/4 horsepower. I immediately told him that I had ordered the bigger motor. He said that this was the biggest. I then proceeded to tell him that I ordered the 1/2 horsepower engine. He told me that one is too small and this one is bigger.

What in the world?! I asked, “How do you figure that?” He said everybody knows that 4 is bigger than 2 in the most sarcastic voice. There was no convincing him that 1/2 was bigger than 1/4. I finally just had to call his boss.

EE607

15. Living In A Castle Is Hard

My mom’s reasoning is that if every room is open, the hot air has places to circulate so it will be hotter. Now keep in mind we only used about five rooms in our 12 room house, so my logic was that if we close the rooms we aren't using then we would only have to heat the rooms we use and then we don't have to keep it in the mid-60s during winter.

Well one week she went on a vacation and left the house to me so I decided to test that theory and wouldn't you believe it, not only was the house warmer but the heating bill was also lower for that week. She of course was having none of it, so she opened up all the rooms again, then it got cold and the heating bill went up.

Additional_Cry_1904

16. Their Loss

black and gray corded telephone Photo by Wilhelm Gunkel on Unsplash

I have a dumb relative who always thinks she knows better. Years ago she wanted me to help her with some sort of device that lets her call long distance without paying for long-distance on landline using the internet. But the problem is she had a dial-up connection, which is super slow. I tried explaining to her several times how she would have to upgrade her internet first for anything to be effective.

But she kept saying she heard this product will fix all of that and insisted on buying it. I even told her what will happen, which is, it's probably a scam and they'll give some useless part like a router and you would have wasted your time and mine, and money. She didn't listen and went through because she always thinks she's smart.

Well, a few weeks go by and she gets the device and of course, it's just a random router when she wants me to install it. Everything I said to her earlier comes true. She just ignores what I say and moves on to something else that will work better. Rinse and repeat. This is how dumb people usually are in my experience. They think they know better than you.

When things don't go according to plan, they either make an excuse and it's never their fault, and/or move on to another thing with the same stupid thinking.

Sebabdukeboss20

17. Being Respectful

Someone told me she deleted pictures she took of a tree because she had a feeling the tree would be offended by having its picture taken out of fear its soul might be taken. Even if we assume souls exist, that trees have souls, emotions, memory, thought, the ability to communicate and eyes to see what you are doing, how would they have any idea what a photo is?

Or know that your phone can take photos? Or a religion and complex thought to believe in souls? Like just what?

Tensor3

18. True Sparta Fan

a statue of a man riding a horse Photo by Nikos Vlachos on Unsplash

A friend of mine and I were having a fun argument about classic history. We were talking about Alexander and whether or not the western Mediterranean was ever going to be a possibility. We're knee-deep in the discussion when our co-worker comes up and starts spouting off that Alexander only conquered as much as he did because of his Spartan army.

Everything we said after that just fueled this man's love for Sparta and his need to tell us about his romanticized version of the place. Sparta wasn't a part of the Macedonian army? That doesn't invalidate his point about Alexander's conquests, no, it just meant that Sparta was so badass that they couldn't be conquered.

Sparta's regular army dwindled by a factor of ten between the Peloponnesian wars and the days of Alexander? They just got ten times as tough, haven't you seen 300?! The conversation slowly devolved until we were just talking about Sparta. It became him trying to defend his bizarre utopia for nearly the rest of our shift.

He stayed firm through boy love, economic recession, lack of army technology, and religious fervor. Only the fact that Sparta was de facto run by a small group of wealthy women seemed to disturb him. I feel like I was gaining some ground with my buddy, but to this day I think Sparta dude still gets off to 300 as a nightly ritual.

IonlyusethrowawaysA

19. Bad Influence

I had a dad in a skatepark go on an extended rant and attempt to fight me because I lost my cool and swore loudly when his son, who didn't know park etiquette and was getting in everyone's way for two hours at this point, cut in front of me at high-speed causing me to nearly break my wrist. The most irritating part? The guy was drinking in broad daylight, smoking, threatening assault, and not paying any attention to his son at all prior.

Somehow I'm the jerk because "you're supposed to be a good influence on the kids." Mate, I come to a skatepark to skate, not babysit every kid there because their parents haven't taught them how a skatepark works. You’re supposed to be a good influence on the kid, you're his freaking dad. Bringing him to a park he has no idea how to use, not taking steps to help him learn, drinking in public, and trying to start fights is not being a good influence.

Chrisnolliedelves

20. I’m Done

smiling girl in black and white striped shirt Photo by Julien L on Unsplash

A customer presented a coupon from a franchise store that had, "Franchise location ____ only" on it very plainly. Cue, "Sorry, this is a franchise coupon, we're corporate-owned and can't take it, but I can give you this very similar deal that is only two dollars more." She didn't understand. After three or four attempts of saying it in different ways, I finally told her "I'm sorry you're not understanding what I'm telling you, but I can't do this. Do you want the option I mentioned or not?"

She started again with, "Why can't you-!" and I just walked away.

Cheetah7985

21. Flushed It Down

I watched Michio Kaku give a speech at a conference. He was talking about technology and how cheap and easy things are getting to make. He talked about how we will someday in the not so distant future have technology as thin as a sheet of paper, that will have all the workings of some of our most advanced technology of today, but that we will just basically throw away like it's actually a sheet of paper.

He went on to talk about how our toilets will someday collect information on the waste that our bodies produce, eventually getting to a point where we can detect cancer. I got back from the conference and was over at some friend's house making some dinner and I was talking to a girl I was dating at the time. I was telling her about the conference, what Kaku was talking about and eventually explained the toilets. Her reply was unbelievable.

She said, "That's freaking stupid. Cancer won't be able to be detected from your waste by a toilet." I was like, “so you don't think that in another 50 years, with the rate that technology is progressing, that we won't have toilets that will be able to tell us if we have cancer cells in our bodies?” She told me that if I believed that, that I was a stupid person.

And went on further to clarify that I was not just being ignorant in this situation, but that I was a stupid person, incapable of intelligent thought. I don't get set off by much. But this led to a screaming match over the phone that ended with me hanging up my phone. My humiliation didn’t end there. I then remembered that I'm standing in my friend's kitchen, with him and his wife staring at me from the living room, me fuming, and holding a wooden spoon in my hand.

I just looked at them and said, "She wouldn't believe that toilets will be able to detect cancer."

ccasella

22. Can’t Decide

gray sedan beside pizza store Photo by Matthew LeJune on Unsplash

My parents and I decided to go out to eat, so we stopped at our favorite pizza parlor. They also served sandwiches, which I really liked, and pasta. Well, I wanted a sandwich, my mother wanted pasta, and my dad wanted pizza. In the end, we had none, as we got into a heated argument at the table before storming out, leaving the crowd there quite perplexed, I'm sure.

Why we all didn't just get what we wanted rather than force everyone else to get the same things, I have no idea.

Pojodan

23. Paint It Red

I was making paint at a hardware store to pay for college. A co-worker completely messed up a customer's order by making the wrong color. Me being the competent one, I take a glance at the color and notice that there is still room in the can to make it the proper color. I manually shoot the remaining tint into the bucket and the idiot co-worker walks by and notices I'm fixing her mistake.

In front of the customer, she states that I do not have the authority to manually operate the tint machine, which I mean, at that point we had been coworkers for two years so I have no idea where she got that notion. I nod and say “I got it” and assure her that everything is fine. She continues being belligerent in front of the customer and I continue stating “I got it” with various levels of screw off and eye glare.

The paint comes out of the shaker perfectly fine and I reassure the customer that his wife won't see any difference in color. I leave the paint booth and my boss is walking towards me and I mutter, "Have fun with this one" while I use the restroom. My boss chews us both out for arguing in front of a customer, which looking back I don't disagree with. But at least I got some form of retribution. She got demoted to cashier.

NoChildLeft4Dead

24. Didn’t See That Coming

gray concrete statue of woman Photo by Egor Myznik on Unsplash

In the long-ago times before smartphones, I was working on a school project on Marco Polo and mentioned some random Marco Polo facts to a friend. She agreed that they were interesting and added, "It's extra impressive because, you know, he was blind." I felt like, at this point, one of my books probably would have mentioned if he was blind so I asked her where she heard that. Her explanation was so hilarious, I still laugh to this day.

She told me that he must have been because why else would we close our eyes when playing the game? It started out gently as I tried to explain that Marco Polo was not blind but I didn't actually know why we closed our eyes while playing Marco Polo. I have since looked it up and allegedly it's because Marco Polo didn't have a freaking clue about where he was going.

It escalated into a full-on screaming match about whether or not Marco Polo was, in fact, blind. He wasn't, by the way.

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25. He’s A Bright One

I had an argument about how light travels through space. It seems like a scientific argument on the surface. While the context was scientific, the content was far from it. My younger brother was arguing about the age of the universe with me. I told him it was 13.8 billion years old and he told me it was 6000. I explained to him that if the universe was only 6,000 years old, we would not be able to see stars more than 6,000 lightyears away.

And because we can see stars billions of lightyears away the universe must be at least that old. Now I expected his argument to be, "How do we know those stars are billions of lightyears away? How do we know they aren't closer?" and I had a good follow-up for that. But no, he went with, "well that's because the light from those stars was placed closer to Earth when it was created, so we could see them." I had no follow-up for that.

He took my speechlessness as a victory. You might think by "younger brother" I mean a boy who is 10 or 11 years old. No, he's 24.

reincarN8ed

26. A Pass For Free Stuff

white windows envelop Photo by Liam Truong on Unsplash

Way back when I was a phone service advisor for a credit card company, this lady called in confused about a piece of mail we had sent her. She said, "I don't understand why you sent me a bill. I paid for the TV at the store with my card." I replied, “Yes, ma'am. Now, this is the bill for using your credit card.” “But I used my credit card. Why would I have to pay again?"

This went on for about a good hour. This poor excuse for an adult believed that a credit card was just an all-access pass to buy anything you wanted for free. That was a devastating job.

KittenSwagger

27. That’s A Hard Shell To Crack

My friend was convinced that selfish was pronounced shellfish. I wrote the word out, sounded it out and it was like I was saying the sun was blue. She just wouldn't have it. I don’t know if she was screwing with me, but 2-3 years after that whole argument we got in a different argument about her basically being a brat and she has the most jaw-dropping reply.

She said: "Sorry, I was being shellfish." I couldn't stay mad at that moron.

Totesmcgotes702

28. Put A Brake On That Thought

man driving a car wearing wrist watch Photo by why kei on Unsplash

My brother made the statement that when you pressed the top of the accelerator pedal, you went faster, as opposed to the bottom. It took me four hours to explain to him that it doesn't matter where on the pedal you press, however far down it is determines what speed you're going to be traveling at.

Monowedge

29. Mr. Hobbit The Science Guy

I had an argument about whether or not Lord of the Rings is a sci-fi movie. There were 3-4 people out of 10 vehemently claiming that because the laws of physics were mostly obeyed, the movies had scientific elements and are to be considered sci-fi films. We were practically screaming at each other for the better part of two hours.

Shakeweight_All-Star

30. Phone Stuff

black corded telephone Photo by Alexander Andrews on Unsplash

I had an argument with someone about whether or not electricity runs through phone lines. After a while, I asked her, "Well then, what do you think runs through phone lines?" She replied, "Phone Stuff."

worktempthrowaway

31. Like Mother Like Daughter

I had an ex argue with me over which would weigh more, a pound of bricks or a pound of feathers. We went back and forth forever while I tried to explain it to her. It did not help when her mother chimed in with, "What about a pound of wet feathers?!" The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Djlionking

32. Light Show

white microwave oven turned off Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A friend tried to put aluminum foil in the microwave, I, and literally every other person we asked, from friends to complete strangers, tried to explain that it does not end well. They strongly believed, and I quote, "It just makes a little light show in the microwave." My friend wanted to put food on top of aluminum foil, then put it in the microwave for 30-60 seconds.

Sunburnt-Vampire

33. The Animal Whisperer

I was vegan for a few years and joined a club-type organization. We would swap recipes, talk about new products and just hang out. Most of the people were pretty awesome, but like everything, some were a bit loony. There was this one girl, who thought all animals could choose to be vegan. In her opinion, a wolf could just decide one day, "I want to avoid animal products."

So she would talk about wanting to go speak to wild animals about the benefits of a vegan diet. I tried to tell her that animals really couldn't just go vegan and she suggested that we feed them soy-based meat alternatives. We all tried to help her understand that animals can't and she refused to believe us. She eventually stopped coming to the get-togethers.

Thankfully, she refused to own pets, so no animals directly suffered from her beliefs. They just had to listen to her talk when she went out converting.

TexiforniaDreaming

34. Challenging Authority

grayscale photo of man and woman holding their hands Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash

I'm a union leader so I have had my share of arguing with stupid people and it's not always the employer. Though I've had moments with the employer the most memorable are with my members. I have a couple of members that I like to refer to as having the "what if" personality. When on their back foot they'll ask you what if this happens or if that happens.

Do they have a policy for this or what about this? It's like you're talking to an adult version of the two-year-old child who is constantly asking why. They turn what could be a five-minute conversation into a two-week-long conversation. My best experience of this was with a guy who would constantly come up with an extremely unlikely scenario and wanted the employer to have a policy written up detailing how he should respond in each case.

I kinda just gave up arguing with him as each item turned into a multiple-hour session of me patiently trying to explain to him that the employer doesn't have to tell you specifically how to do your job as a tradesmen. That the earthquake has a 1 in a billion chance of happening here is not an OHS issue and that a generalized emergency response plan is an acceptable level of planning for that event.

You should know how to do your typical work tasks that are related to your trade safely. I informed him that if he's concerned about it then he has to follow the OHS process. In Canada, we have a process for handling OHS concerns. Essentially it starts with the supervisor, then it goes to a local OHS committee, and then it goes to the site manager, and then if there is still no resolution it goes to the federal/provincial level for their final say.

This guy pushed it all the way through, with each step denying his concerns, only for the federally-appointed safety officer to inform him that his employer was going above and beyond. That my member's concern wasn't valid. He didn't accept that as an answer but he couldn't take it any further other than them to just keep rephrasing his question.

The employer eventually found a way to lay him off because of lack of work. I wonder why they did that? In Canada, you also have the right to refuse to do unsafe work but this guy wouldn't refuse to do the work because he felt safe enough to do it. But would still push his concerns up the chain.

lookadruid2020

35. Not The Right Fit

I had a computer science teacher who didn't know anything about technology. We got into arguments because she insisted that a degree in creative writing would be the best way to prepare yourself for an IT job rather than a degree in computer science.

The_Tastiest_Tuna

36. One Man’s Trash Is Another Man’s Trash

gray metal tool cabinet Photo by Tania Melnyczuk on Unsplash

My family has this deceptive maneuver where they slowly change the argument to something they can make you wrong about, picking the one detail they know can turn the argument in their favor and slowly pivot the conversation away from what the real argument is about and into a situation where now they’re right and I'm the one who’s wrong for asking them to stop trying to give us their junk.

All I want is for them to ask before dropping stuff off in our house because we don’t have room for their old flower pots. We don't want them, but just ask us first. Well, that got out of hand. In that situation, they make you feel like a jerk because beggars can’t be choosers and we should just be happy that we’re getting stuff for free.

But we didn’t beg for anything and they just brought this trash over because they didn’t have the room for it. What makes them think we do? Their house is twice as big. Ok. I’ll stop.

NLMusic10213

37. A For Effort

A friend of mine in school was convinced that he could find a triangle whose angles wouldn't add up to 180 degrees after learning the rule in class. I just couldn't get him to understand that if he finds some shape that doesn't fit the definition of a triangle, then by definition he has not found a triangle.

Lburton273

38. Two-Faced

a woman covering her eyes with her hands Photo by Jussara Paulo on Unsplash

My mom yells, "But there's two sides!", quite literally like a toddler whenever you defend yourself. If you're always advocating for the devil, you might be the devil.

ireallywantalamp

39. Temper Tantrum

I know someone who legitimately stood up in the middle of a meeting about her child harassment, in the child protection offices, and yelled at everyone that the child deserved to be jabbed because she did not know how to play the game Operation. At that moment in reality, there wasn't anything I, the child protection officer, her boyfriend, brother, and sister, or the grandparents or father could say to her.

I don't think there are words in existence appropriate for that situation. I could only say, "What the actual heck?"

Taneatua

40. Work Harder, Not Smarter

large warhause Photo by Ruchindra Gunasekara on Unsplash

A conversation with an OPS manager went something like this, "We should reorganize the warehouse racks so that the cases with the greatest velocity are at the top." The reply: "Excuse me, but do you perhaps mean 'mass' or even 'volume'?" Their retort: "No, I mean velocity. Don't insult my intelligence again." The argument continued: "Okay, but none of these boxes are moving at the moment. Their velocity is 0 - across the board."

It finished with: "You and I are going to talk with HR." The same ops manager a couple of weeks later said: "What do you think you're doing?" "Just moving boxes. It's the only thing that we do in this warehouse." The manager said: "You're not on process. One Best Way is that we pick up, label, then move one box at a time."

I said: "You're saying that if I label 5 of these boxes, each of them less than 1lbs., then move them to this cart all at once, I will be performing my job at a slower pace than if I did each and every one individually?" They said: "Yes. You are expected to be on process and this is the best process." I replied: "I don't quite see how the wasted energy of turning back and forth between the pallet and the cart more than necessary results in more efficient work. Could you give me a demonstration?"

They said, "No. It's your job to move boxes, not mine." Finally, I said: "I... Fine. In my honor, I will henceforth move every single box with the exact process you just detailed." A few days later he and my area manager pulled me aside because my production had dropped by 43%, which honestly is a testament to how hard I was trying to actually make his "process" work. Walmart is a horrible place to work.

King_Sarathos

41. Fight Like An Adult

My mom’s entire argument tactic was to interrupt the other person as soon as they open their mouth. It didn’t matter if you were calm, reasonable, and respectful. The moment sound came out of you, she would come in with greater volume. She usually didn’t have much to say, so she would literally repeat herself just to interrupt you.

Even if you paused and let her speak, if she was out of stuff to say, she would wait quietly until you try to talk again then interrupt you with something she already said. She wasn’t even subtle about what she was doing. She was prideful about how great of a debater she was. She thought this childish and disrespectful thing actually made her strong and respectable.

I don’t think she ever realized that she didn’t actually win any arguments but simply wore the other person down until they gave up on a constructive adult conversation with her.

Calbinan

42. Human Repellent

woman sitting on bed with flying books Photo by Lacie Slezak on Unsplash

I am dealing with a housemate with a wickedly bad temper. Her boyfriend is an old friend of mine and I wanted to help them out since they were living in her mom's house last year. I did not know her well at all. Everything she’s subjected me to has made me regret ever trying to help. She wields her temper like it's a weapon, and any time you try to express what you or someone else is feeling, she immediately argues and invalidates you.

She has told her partner she is going to kill herself in order to win arguments. Often times the things she is spouting as an argument are projections of her behavior or projections of her temper. She does not respect the boundaries of others, but demands that her boundaries be respected and any conversation to find compromise and even ground is met with anger.

Her lack of control over her words, once she's triggered, are some of the meanest, most vitriolic things I've ever heard from anyone. My partner, who was her friend and got her a job at her work, also had her own falling out with this person and now won't come over to my house due to fear of this person's behavior. I am exhausted. I probably have to deal with this for another 2 months.

Double-The-Fupa

43. Very Idiotic Person

I deal with entitled wealthy investors every day. The only thing worse than arguing with a stupid person is a stupid wealthy person who thinks they are important.

shichiaikan

44. Can’t Let You Win

woman in brown sweater covering her face with her hand Photo by Dev Asangbam on Unsplash

My mom cuts me off when I speak and when I know I start to win she starts mocking me in a voice that makes me sound stupid. It's really degrading and hurts my feelings but I can’t do anything but just walk away. Now that I think about it, I really don’t have the best parents.

AdministrationTrue72

45. The Government Got Her Mind

Fresh out of college, I lived with a few people who I didn’t really know before moving in. One of the roommates was this slightly older guy who was dating a woman similar in age. She was over our place one day and somehow contrails came up, except she referred to them as chemtrails. You see, I was really minding my business watching something on the TV.

I had just graduated with a degree in atmospheric science and there’s no way I’m going to share living space with someone who refers to contrails as chemtrails. So I say, “You mean contrails, no?” She didn’t, she meant chemtrails because the government is spraying us all with some mind-controlling substances or whatever she claimed it to be.

So I explained to her the reason why airplanes produce a contrail, which was easy to do considering how much of my time and money went on learning about the dynamics of the atmosphere. She didn’t believe that some younger woman could possibly know more than her. That's when she pulled out her trump card: “I live right next to an airport, so I can see that when they first take off there’s no trail. It’s not until they get to a certain height that they switch it on.”

This was literally right after I had explained how pressure and temperature affect humidity and condensation and how pressure and temperature are much lower at higher altitudes. I realized then that I could not convince this person that they were wrong. Luckily he and she moved into another place together not long after.

skiimear

46. All Began With A Bag Of Cheetos

orange and yellow plastic pack on white table Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

I had a massive year-plus-long argument with my old roommate over Cheetos. I bought a bag of hot Cheetos because I hadn't had them since elementary school and had a taste for them. So I put the unopened bag into my designated cabinet and went on my way. A few days later I decided that I'm going to eat my Cheetos. I open the cabinet and notice the bag is opened and empty.

Someone has eaten my Cheetos and stuck the empty bag back in the cabinet. So I confront my roommate calmly and say, "Hey man, could you please not eat my food?" Roommate blows up and starts screaming that he needs it and he's starving. He's unemployed at the time and I guess he ran out of food stamps for the month. I pointed out that he was welcome to share my cereal or fruit but eating all of my snacks was inappropriate.

Lots of screaming and door slamming ensues. Well, that was just the beginning of my nightmare. The rest of the time I lived there he would take my wet clothes out of the washing machine and throw them on the floor, purposely slam stuff while I'm sleeping, take my food out of the fridge and leave it on the counter to go bad, etc. And we would regularly continue these screaming matches over this $2 bag of Cheetos.

I don't even live there anymore and he still tells my boyfriend I'm controlling and he should break up with me. I also forgot to change my address for my bank after I moved and my new debit card got sent there and he keeps denying that he has it. I never even ended up buying another bag of Cheetos since then. A bag of Cheetos has caused the biggest ongoing argument I have ever been in.

permalink

47. Snap Back

Long ago, over 20 years ago, I had a lovely beat-my-head-against-the-wall discussion with a young lady who had no children of her own, and no experience raising children with disabilities. What she said was so chilling, it made my blood boil. She proceeded to tell me that my wife and I needed to be firmer and more strict with our autistic son so that he would "snap out of it" and start talking and stop "acting autistic."

I cannot remember how exactly I phrased my response as it was in Spanish, not my native language, but it was basically a polite version of "pound sand, you have no idea what you are talking about."

Cheap_Rick

48. Someone Take Her On A Road Trip

waving Canada flag Photo by sebastiaan stam on Unsplash

Someone argued that "You can't drive to Canada from New York because New York is a state and Canada is a different country!" She was quite insistent. However, I knew I was correct because at the moment of that argument I was in my car on my way to Montreal.

GunzGoPew

Infamous Internet Rumors That Ended Up Being True

Reddit user strakerak asked: 'What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?'

boy playing at laptop inside room
Photo by Ludovic Toinel on Unsplash

In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.

He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.

The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.

This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.

Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:

"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"

The King Of Pop

"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."

"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."

– -WigglyLine-

"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."

"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."

"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."

– given2fly_

The Truth Comes Out

"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."

"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."

– guyfromsoccer

Video Evidence

"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."

"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."

– Frozenthickness

"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."

– PattiAllen

The Movie Business

"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."

"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."

OldMastodon5363

"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."

CMV_Viremia

Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids

"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."

"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."

– Spledidlife

Yes, It's True

"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."

"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."

"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."

– latflickr

How The Mighty Fell

"John Edward’s love child."

– ACam574

"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."

– Fanclock314

Ugh...

"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."

– everylastlight

It Actually Happened

"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."

– Known-Committee8679

"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."

– Paganigsegg

Big Actor, Small Roles

"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."

– KampferMann

"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."

– CardinalCreepia

What To Do Next?

"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."

"Turned out to be absolutely true."

– homarjr

That last one was kind of obvious!

Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.

Person holding large stack of books
Photo by Jay Lamm on Unsplash

Whether you're naturally interested in fun facts and trivia or not, it's always nice to know a few that you can pull out of your pocket at a moment's notice as a nice conversation starter.

But there are some fun facts out there that are so weird, people become more preoccupied with how the teller found out that information rather than the information itself.

Redditor Dry_Bus_935 asked:

"What is your 'don't ask me how I know' random fact?"

Nuclear Fail Safe

"You have quite a lot of time, certainly more than ten seconds, to turn back on the main pumps of a nuclear reactor once you have accidentally turned them off."

- egorf

"I'm not surprised. The amount of fail safes, redundancies, and emergency scenario planning for nuclear power plants is insane."

"I toured a nuclear plant and wrote my high school senior thesis on the plans put in place to ensure the Fukushima disaster would not happen at that plant."

"I'm sure the secondary pumps are plenty capable of handling the reactor until the main pumps are repaired or just turned back on."

- Borderlandsman

Happy Cat

"If your cat chews on fresh eucalyptus, they might start hallucinating and fall over repeatedly, leading to a $400 emergency vet bill just to be told she’s just kinda high."

- oddidealstronghold

"And, that's part of why koalas love it. Little stoners."

- littlebluefoxy

Archaeology: Do Not Lick

"Old human bones are very porous, so if you lick them, they’ll stick to your tongue."

- clanculcarius

Sharing is Caring

"A pigeon will only eat a Starburst if you chew it up a little bit first. Just to clarify: chew the Starburst, not the pigeon."

- OhTheHueManatee

"Instructions unclear. Pigeon unhappy."

- Wild-Lychee-3312

Intriguing Anatomy

"Everyone is here with the creepy crime stuff, and I'm just like, 'A soft fur rat has 22 nipples.'"

- horroscoblue

"Okay, so either they have really small nipples, their nipples overlap, or they have nipples in places where there shouldn't be nipples."

"(I've never written the word 'nipples' so many times in a singular sentence before.)"

- GdeGraaf

'Don't Ask Me,' Indeed!

"Turmeric can be used as clothes dye. It is capable of permanently dyeing cotton cloth even after it has passed through the digestive tract of an adult male."

- SlefeMcDichael

"You s**t your pants, didn't you?"

- PMmecrossstitch

"I'd prefer not to answer that question."

- SlefeMcDichael

High-Risk Survival Skills

"If you ever trying to survive in the Arctic, don’t eat polar bear liver. It is so high in vitamin A, it will kill you."

- WrongWayCorrigan-361

"It's also surrounded by a lethal amount of angry polar bear."

- horanc2

Real-Life Spies

"TV shows and movies go out of their way to make military/intelligence officers look bada**."

"But real-life 'spies,' by design and training, are boring. They have regular houses and standard second-hand cars, they dress down, and they have vague, boring job titles (accounts receivable) as cover, and they do not draw attention to themselves. Most come from specialized academia."

- Ok_Worth_1093

Haunting Reality

"Your muscles can keep twitching for several hours after you die."

- JustDave62

"Also, beards can appear to grow. This is however not because the beard itself grows but because the skin shrinks."

- RRautamaa

"I worked at a morgue for over eight years. If you grasp the hand of a dead body to move the arm, the hand will grasp back, but that's just muscles and tendons reacting to the tension."

- goneferalinid

The Sneakiness of Drowning

"When a drowning victim is revived, get them to a hospital as soon as possible. Drowning is the leading cause of death of kids from the age of one to seven and is ruled as accidental drowning when it comes to secondary drowning or dry drowning."

"Basically, your lungs are full of water despite being revived. Your lungs will absorb the liquid, but not before your body acidifies from high levels of carbon dioxide. The only chance to survive is to have the lungs pumped with oxygen via CPAP machine and time."

"Also, drowning is extremely quiet. You don’t hear the victim go under. And if you see flailing, do not attempt to save the victim otherwise you’ll become another drowning victim. Throw them a lifeline and hope their amygdala realizes that a rope or something is floating near them and grabs on it."

- Dfiggsmeister

Not Everyone's Favorite Chocolate

"Hershey’s chocolate has the strong smell of vomit or feces to some people (me), and that’s because they use butyric acid as a preservative. Butyric acid is the compound that makes vomit smell so bad."

"Edit: Digging further into it, there are some claims that they may not be “adding” the butyric acid, but rather it is occurring from essentially spoiling the milk in their milk chocolate. Either way, the butyric acid and putrid smell remains a part of their product."

- hefewiseman1

"That explains the weird aftertaste I always get! I don’t smell it but their chocolate always has this super unpleasant sharp/acidic aftertaste that I find repulsive. I assume this is why!!"

- PomegranateNo975

Do Not Lick the Asbestos

"Asbestos tastes like chalk. And if you lick it, it has the texture of extremely gritty sandpaper. Which is actually the feeling of microscopic asbestos needles piercing your flesh!"

- TooYoungToBeThisOld1

Mapping Out the War

"Beginning in 1911 in anticipation of the outbreak of WW1 in 1914, two statesmen, one from England and one from France, began visiting locations in France that they believed would be the settings for a number of major battles that would occur during the great war."

"Long bike rides through these future battle zones in the countryside and weeks spent building a foundation for a French-Anglo codebook that would later prove important in helping win the war."

- fjordperfect123

Avoiding Lawsuits > Protecting Patients

"Doctors, or surgeons more specifically, that make too many mistakes during surgery, ie, leaving instruments in patients, frequently gets ‘quietly traded’ to other hospitals where they continue their path of destruction with the patients not being aware of their past record. Hospitals tend to keep quiet about the matter to avoid lawsuits."

- Kittytigris

Bonus Points: Do This While Having Lunch in Your Car

"If you overfill a fast food gravy cup and then put a lid on, it will create a pressurized gravy stream that sprays all over your face and uniform while your coworker looks on in horror."

- thechaosjester776

This subReddit thread was so a roller-coaster of random facts, we've surely all walked away learning something.

But the biggest takeaway might just be: Maybe don't lick so many things.

Shocked woman covering her mouth
vaitheeswaran Nataraj/Unsplash

When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.

But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.

Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.

It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.

Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:

"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"

These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.

Bleeding Out

"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."

"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."

– DongLaiCha

Tragic News

"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."

– accountnameredacted

Bottom Of The Barrel

"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."

– Crotch-Monster

A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.

Like Father, Like Son

"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."

– psycospaz

Busted

"Flashing blue lights."

– FiddleOfGold

"This sobered me up just thinking about it."

– redmaple_syrup

Losing Sight

"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."

– MissHibernia

Quitting The Bottle

"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."

– omgtater

These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.

Unplanned House Guests

"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."

– Oneinsevenbillion75

Serious Health Warning

"Elevated liver enzymes."

"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."

"So I opted for recovery, instead."

"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."

– Far_Meal8674

The Joyride

"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."

– foxfood9116

The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?

How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.

But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.

Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.

Woman holding multiple shopping bags
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.

Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.

These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.

From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.

Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:

"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"

"Tale As Old As Time..."

"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","

"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."

"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."

"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."

"Lol!"

"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom

"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."

"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."

"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."

"I think he was a germaphobe."

"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."

"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."

"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.

"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."

"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."

"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000

Money Burn GIF by nog Giphy

Who Wore It Better?

"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."

"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."

"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."

"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'

"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"

"No."- mertsey627

Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...

"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."

"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."

"It was very low key."

"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."

"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."

"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."

"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."

"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa

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See You In Court!

"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."

'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."

"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."

"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."

"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."

"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin

It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!

"I work in a public library."

"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."

"A popular book that just came out."

"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."

"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten

A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!

"My own."

"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"

"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."

"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"

"Unacceptable!"

"This shall not stand!"

"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."

"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."

"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."

"I got over it."- DeathGrover

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Holy Matrimony!

"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."

"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."

"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."

"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."

"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."

"It's just a party."

"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree

When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...

"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore

In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...

"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."

"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."

"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."

"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."

"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."

"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."

"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."

"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."

"We don’t offer wrapping services."

"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."

'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae

Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso Giphy

Happiest Place On Earth!

"I used to work for Disney."

"That in itself should tell you everything."

"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."

"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."

"Suddenly got worse huh?"

"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."

"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."

"I'm not kidding."

"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."

"My wife worked booking."

"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."

"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."

"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."

"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."

"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."

"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong

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The horror!

Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!

It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...

Said absolutely no one.