The Most Illogical Breakdowns Toddlers Ever Had According To Their Parents
Raising a child is hard and can take a toll on even the best parents. Children can bring a lot of joy but they can also be very frustrating, and it's okay to give parents room to vent. Sometimes, try as they might, nothing they do can calm a child down.
And that seems to hit the hardest during the toddler stage, when children really, really don't know how to handle their own emotions. They'll yell and kick and scream, sometimes for no reason at all.
What's up with that, right?
Parents shared their stories with us after Redditor mirarom asked the online community:
"Redditors with toddlers, what’s the most recent illogical breakdown they’ve had?"
"My son was basically upset..."
"My son was basically upset I missed the tantrum he had started to throw for grandpa... He was doing his face in the carpet, kicking feet, over the top fake crying when I guess he realized he was missing something."
"So he came upstairs, grabbed my hand, huffed and puffed angrily while walking me directly next to Grandpa, totally positioned me for the show, and got right back into meltdown mode. Looking up every so often to make sure we were still watching it."
"I asked my dad what initially set him off though. He said he shut off his own show and didn’t know what else to do."
Danilixsaaur
Awww, he sounds like he was confused.
Or maybe a drama queen.
But why not both?
"Because the imaginary door..."
"Because the imaginary door on his imaginary fire truck wouldn't open, so he was stuck inside."
napana
Aww, but it was absolutely real to him! It's cute... but also annoying. Sorry, kid. Get a real one.
"My youngest was mad..."
The enraged, sobbing wail from the back seat of my car: 'He's looking out my window.' "My youngest was mad because his brother was looking out of 'his' window instead of the other one."
RavnNite
Tell them that you're driving and that it's your car and that they're actually your windows!
"My girlfriend-at-the-time texted me when she was looking after her 3 year old brother. "Josh is crying because he doesn't want an ice cream. He already finished eating it. This was 15 minutes ago.""
KingGumboot
Wow, this kid doesn't realize how ridiculous he's being, does he?
Well, bless his heart.
"He wants..."
"He wants to put a box on my head but it's broken and keeps falling off. So apparently it's ruining his playtime."
Ccaster0620
He sounds very particular!
"Took the car down..."
"Took the car down to the body shop to get the side panel that he crunched buffed out. The car won't be ready until Wednesday but he wanted to go back downtown to party with his roommates tonight. He's 22."
optiongeek
Okay, this one is an exception to all the toddler stories... or maybe not. It sounds like he never grew out of the toddler stage.
"8 year old sister was looking at her. It was just a glance, but my 3 year old went into a f**king rage."
everybodyknowsdikbut
This reminds me of that incredible scene from The Favourite.
"Did you just look at me? LOOK AT ME! How DARE you, close your eyes!"
"My little kraken just slept... after a raging tantrum because i did not let him chew on the connected cables. I'm just trying to keep you alive buddy, I swear."
O_oHaniG
He doesn't believe you!
"First..."
""First: his dad left for work. Second: he dumped out the box of goldfish crackers. Third: I picked up the goldfish crackers. Fourth: it wasn’t the right episode of Paw Patrol. Fifth: I won’t let him eat shoes."
Autumn_Tea95
You're just restricting him from living his life, man.
"They wanted..."
"They wanted another chicken nugget, so I gave them another chicken nugget. Breakdown."
gloomyquelledbasket
Children are so odd. Sorry!
These stories might make you think twice about being a parent. But if you can get through the toddler stage—particularly the "terrible twos"—you'll probably be fine.
Have some stories of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
"Don't touch me or my skin!" is a legendary battle cry in my family, courtesy of a frustrated and dramatic then-three-year-old.
She wanted to be picked up and cuddled, but also not touched in any way shape or form.
Honestly - same, fam.
Like... it's impossible but also I totally get it.
Reddit user NoLifeNoSoulNoMatter asked:
"Parents of toddlers, what was today’s meltdown-worthy tragedy?"
Buckle up, friends.
Toddlers are a wild and confusing ride.
Going Bananas
"He asked me to open the banana but he didn't get to open it himself"
- kooror
"This is why I just slightly open it and then give it to them to finish the job. Took me many MANY breakdowns to figure it out."
- CinderRebel
"This one is the worst. 'I can’t open it. Dad you do it'. I open it. 'Why did you doooo that?! I waaaanted to oooooopen it!!!!'."
- sojuandbbq
"Lmao I feel so seen right now"
- J33P88
"This. Mine says 'No, my turn!!' God forbid you don’t let her do the thing. Which is normally just closing a drawer or something mundane."
- AmericanKamikaze
GiphyBox Head
"He wants to put a box on my head but it's broken and keeps falling off. So apparently it's ruining his play time."
- Ccaster0620
"How dare you"
- AzureBluet
"I mean my playtime would definitely be ruined if my mommy's head kept falling off."
- Ordinary-Greedy
Ah Yes The Terrible 22's
"Took the car down to the body shop to get the side panel that he crunched buffed out. The car won't be ready until Wednesday but he wanted to go back downtown to party with his roommates tonight. He's 22."
- optiongeek
"Ah the terrible twenty-twos! Hopefully he grows out of it soon!"
- BlueJeanMistress
"So, you’re telling the rest of us that the whining never stops. Thanks. Haha"
- sojuandbbq
"He's a great kid and we're very lucky. But yeah, the whining never really stops."
- optiongeek
There Was A List
"First: his dad left for work. Second: he dumped out the box of goldfish crackers. Third: I picked up the goldfish crackers. Fourth: it wasn’t the right episode of Paw Patrol. Fifth: I won’t let him eat shoes."
- Autumn_Tea95
"Wow that last one is just plain rude of you."
- BlabBehavior
"Oh, don’t you love it when they want the second part of the show and you have no idea which one it is because they only list the first part?"
- Fallwalking
Tell Me More To Do List GIF by Disney Channel
GiphySo Jealous
"My husband kissed me and apparently he is only allowed to show her affection. There was a lot of screaming and forcibly pulling us apart."
- turtchel
"My toddle is like this but the reverse. He fully believes I am his woman."
- J33P88
"(Nods in Sigmund Freud)"
- Levitatethemic
"Yep. From what I remember It takes a while to understand the concept that affection is not a finite thing"
- Daggerfont
We Get This One
"She wasn't on the couch with her bottle and teddy bear."
"But actually, she was, but things weren't right"
- BronzeAgeTea
"I mean to be fair how many of us are guilty of this? Or like when I get my food and blankies and become ensconced and then Netflix won’t play what I want or the remote is out of reach?"
- Munneh
"The worst is settling in with blankets and snacks only to realize the remote is out of reach. Ugh! I have to get up now?!"
- MountainHighOnLife
"Aw bless. She just doesn't know how to explain how she feels."
- PrawnCocktailWotsits
"So far she's communicating 'eat', 'more', and 'banana'. We're slowly working our way up to the fung shui of the couch haha"
- BronzeAgeTea
Those Two Are Tough Ones
"The cat was touching his toy. The toy HE threw onto the cat..."
"He also had a meltdown because his leg was attached to him..."
- Boogzcorp
"Ok I need more information on the leg"
- RepresentativePin162
"We were driving along, all of a sudden from the back seat he starts crying and what not."
"I can't get it off!"
"What?"
" 'My leg!' queue him pulling at his leg through fits of tears..."
- Boogzcorp
My Poop!
"I flushed his poop and can’t get it back and now he can’t poop again."
- peachandscream
"This one. I still love to embarrass my 15 year old by bringing it up. His dad flushed the toilet after he peed when he was maybe 3 or 4 years old. It was just before bedtime. Oh the heartbroken tears coz 'daddy flushed my wee'. Told him to go again. 'I don't have soooooome', was the wailed answer"
- Objective_Sink5398
"I love this, but want to add to it- my kid is convinced the toilet can’t handle his poop. I’ve shown him how the toilet works, I’ve explained the entire sewage processing system to him several times, but he’s not going for it."
"I thought the answer would be to show him 'dad’s poop going down', so I asked his dad to 'save' a poop to flush with him watching.Dad sent a text, I sent my kid up, and seconds later I hear traumatic crying. Kid came running downstairs crying about daddy’s 'massive' poop, (my kid loves the word massive, but is good at using it in proper context), and I think we’re a good 3 months before he’ll even try pooping in the potty again."
- Perfect_Orchid2984
GiphyI Have Rights
"Watched my 3 year old niece. Apparently not letting her eat cat treats is a violation of her civil rights"
- LanguageResident
"I've sharpened my pitchfork & lit my torch. You are obviously a monster."
- JustHereForCookies17
"Talked to my pediatrician because my child kept eating the cat's food. (Elderly cat, tall toddler, really couldn't put the food up higher.) He suggested we switch to a moister food so my kid wouldn't choke."
- mel2mdl
"Let her eat them. They won't harm her."
- Sacu_Shi_again
GiphyLet's be honest—they're a lot more relatable than we'd like to admit.
Parents Describe The Times They Forced Themselves Not To Laugh While Punishing Their Kids
Disciplining your kids is a necessary evil. It helps them to understand there are consequences for their mischief so they will behave better in the future.
But punishing your misbehaving children isn't always easy.
Sometimes, the hilarious things they say in response to you punishing them can throw you off your game and make you laugh.
There goes your credibility, Mom or Dad.
Ever hear your 4-year-old drop the F-bomb? Or hear them appropriately quoting from a TV show when you're trying to teach a valuable lesson?
Curious to hear from parents about when they struggled to keep it together, Redditor julita414 asked:
"Parents of Reddit, what was the first time you had to force yourself not to laugh while disciplining your children?"
Busted 4-Year-Old
"Me: What were you thinking?"
"4 year old son: That I wouldn't get caught."
Portable Toilet
"My husband yelled up from downstairs: 'Why is there a bunch of water in the trashcan?'"
"My four year old proudly announced: 'Because I peed in it!'"
The All-Nighters
"Charging into their bedroom when they're supposed to be sleeping and watching them scatter like cockroaches back to their beds....I die laughing inside EVERY time."
– Vierlind
"This is my move too. Sometimes I sit and wait for them to notice me. The surprise/ fear to panic to guilt transition in there face is almost slow motion. Then without saying a word I leave the room knowing they are going to sleep and I have once again confirmed that I am a Ninja."
– McNiinja
Sticking Around
"I'm a parent, but this wasn't with my son, it was my younger brother when we were 10 and 11. We had two older sisters who were drama queens and would always threaten to run away when they got in trouble. So this one day my brother and I got into trouble and as our Dad started scolding us my brother looked straight at him and in all seriousness said, 'I won't run away. I'm going to stay here forever and never leave. You'll never get rid of me.' Our Dad turned around, walked out of the room and started laughing. He was laughing so much he couldn't even explain to our Mom what was so funny. We only got grounded for the day. Thanks little bro!"
– msjg
Vilifying Big Sis
"My sister used to start fights with me in public so I would act silly making everyone in eyesight think she was the absolute devil. One time I did it and said 'dont hit me again sister' in the most offensively retarded voice like Arnie from Gilbert grape and security stepped in. I kept up the act and they paged my parents to the store office. Basically said 'your daughter was attacking your son and it was really disturbing' My dad had to scold me in the parking lot through tears of laughter hardly able to keep his balance while my sister was basically traumatized."
– suitology
Potty Mouth
"My then 5-year-old son and I were watching Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. During the part of the movie where the machine creates a spaghetti tornado hurling giant meatballs, my son's facial expression completely changed as he watched his favorite food being thrown about. He turns to me, dead serious, and says 'oh my f'king goodness". I died."
Wrong Target
"I'm a preschool teacher, and part of my job is potty training. In our bathroom the trash can is across from the toilet, about four feet away."
"A little boy, just turned 3, sits down to go and forgets to point his penis down. He starts peeing and it's a direct arch straight into the trash can."
"Little dude goes: 'What the f'k?'"
"I had to step out of the room to recover from cry laughing."
– obsolete16
Not A 'Shell Fish'
"I was telling my daughter who was 5 at the time she was being selfish for not sharing she burst out crying and said I am not a shell fish! Couldn't stop laughing but she kept crying saying but I'm not a shell fish"
– RonaTheFerret
Appropriate Quote
"My wife and I and our 2-year-old son just got home from a long day of traveling, and he needs a diaper change. My wife is exhausted and not in the best mood. The TV is on playing the show Law and Order, on a cable network that had the tagline at the time of 'We know drama.' (So for instance, when the commercials would segue back to the show, they would first say 'the drama continues...')"
"So he's a happy little kid, getting his diaper changed, enjoying the attention, and got playful and silly and was kicking around and generally not cooperating with my wife. She lost her temper and snarled something like 'I swear if you don't stop squirming around so help me...'"
"There was a pause. Then he said:"
"'The drama continues...'"
– TomK
Contaminated Muffin
"Not a parent but a career nanny. I had a kid come up and ask if he could have a snack. I said not right now, youre supposed to be in bed. Not 5 minutes later I see him Kronk-style tip toeing across the kitchen with a conspicuous bulge in his pajamas. He sees me watching him and startles, causing a blueberry muffin to fall out of the ankle of one pant leg. I was already close to laughing but I about died when he said 'Cant I at least have it since it already touched my junk?'"
– dune_jhodacia
Angry Boy
My sister used to be a speech therapist in elementary schools. One of her students got mad at her for something. That day, she was helping get the kids on the school busses to go home. AngryBoy gets on the bus, made eye contact with her through the window, flipped her off and mouthed "F**k you!" at her. Cursing in public was one of the things they were working on, believe it or not. She told me the story and we had a good laugh."
Fearless Daughter
"The second day at a new school, my 6th grade daughter dropped another girl who had slapped her at lunch. It was witnessed by school admin but the kid on the ground tried to say that she didn't slap my daughter first. She said 'if I hit her then why am I the one crying?' to which my daughter responded 'because I'm not a p*ssy!"
"This was relayed to me by my daughter while she was on speaker phone in the assistant principal's office. She did not edit her language."
– dpcaxx
Not Ready For Bed
"When my nephews were like 3 or 4, I was staying with my bro. Kids had been put to bed, but were being reluctant about it, and goofing off instead. My SIL finally gets them both into their beds, and their sister is asleep."
"We're all on the couch watching TV for about 5 minutes before they both come flying into the room, and one of them sticks his pointer fingers in the air, and states 'no. Not going to bed. No way, no how!' And they both proceed to run back down the hallway howling with laughter."
"My brother and I were too far gone laughing ourselves to be of any use, so my SIL follows them, but comes back to report that they were both in bed passed out already. Must have been their last little burst of energy and the laughing wore them out. We all laughed for a good 5 minutes."
"This was over 15 years ago, but I still laugh every time I remember his stubborn little face while he was yelling at us."
– Emmyisme
Word Of The Day
"When I challenged my 5 year old after hitting me, he looked me square in the eyes and said 'mosquito'."
– bcallas
Soup Talk
"This JUST happened tonight."
"We're trying to expand our 4 y.o grandson's diet."
"So I told him we made 'Frog Soup'. (Pea soup)"
"He said 'No it's not coz frogs wouldn't make soup outta their friends'!"
Parents Of Toddlers Break Down Their Funniest 'I Can't Believe I'm Actually Saying This' Experience
Toddlers are a test of the human experience.
No matter how much you have it together, a toddler has the ability to throw you for a loop every which way. Things you didn't think you'd have to explain become fodder for explanation; phrases you never imagined would come out of your mouth simply have to-for the sake of your toddler.
u/landreasen asked:
Here were some of those answers.
Mrow
We have an almost daily conversation about how its not nice to color the cat.
I'm not saying kids should be intentionally hurt to teach them things, but if a toddler won't listen to their parents about pulling the cat's tail and being gentle then the cat will be more than willing to make the argument.
It Can't Actually Do That
So we were counting down the time on the microwave until her chicken nuggets were done. 3...2...1...END. Not zero. The worst tantrum today was that she wanted to count down to 0 on the microwave, but there is no 0 just END. "No I can't make the microwave be 0 sweetie."
PROVE IT
I work at a doctor's office and sometimes take triage calls in the evening and weekend. One time while on the phone with a patient, my son ran over and said loudly, "I NEED YOU TO PROVE TO ME THAT YOU DON'T HAVE A PENIS."
Blame It On The Booty
"We don't touch people like that" after my then 2 yr old daughter reached out and caressed the butt of a woman in a tightly packed elevator. I still remember the look on the woman's face as she spun around and looked at me, and then looked down to see a smiling 2 yr old in her stroller with hand still outstretched.
Not So Loud!
My daughter in the bathroom at Target, "Dad! I'm shaking the pee off!" Me: "What? Child, girls don't need to-" Her: "I'm shaking the pee off my who-ha!" Me, meeting the gaze of another father in the bathroom: "I don't know...." Other father: "You learn to just let some things be."
The Dog's New Best Friend
"You need to make me more chicken nuggets"
Me: well why is that, buddy, are you still hungry?
"No, but Sydney (our dog) was so I fed them to her."
It's not that he didnt want to eat... He just thought the dog looked hungry so he fed her his entire bowl without taking a bite. Needless to say our dog was happy
We are naked potty training and I've literally lost count of the number of things my son has tried to smoosh into his foreskin. M&Ms? Check. LEGO fig head? Check. Grape? Check. So my vote is for "You can NOT PUT THAT IN YOUR PENIS!"
This Ain't Gonna Last
"You can't go to school today because it's Saturday!"
And then she sulked because who the heck dares close the school two days per week. I hope she'll still be this motivated during her teen years.
I Missed My Mouth
No kids here but once i babysat my neph and niece. Was so proud of mealtime, baths, diapers changed on the niece, got them to bed and settled. My sister and BIL got home and the neph woke up to greet them. First thing she notices....the macaroni noodle behind his ear from dinner. How is that possible?
It's Not Your Fault, Nephew
Not today and it was my nephew. He had a bunch of those little McDonald's toys that you can clip onto backpacks and stuff. "Hey bud, how about we find another name for those. Something different than 'hooker toys'"
Vomit As A Weapon
I have twins, everyday I have to remind one of them, "don't throw up," and the other, "don't jump off of anything."
Basically, if they get into a heated fight, one of them will deliberately vomit on the other. Meanwhile, the other one spends all day trying to jump onto her sister and other people from high ground WWF-style (usually triggering the aforementioned fight/vomit-fest).
Before you ask, it's not a medical condition, she will not do it if she's been reminded (we got it checked out too).
You Just Gotta Hold On, Kid
Daddy doesn't like it when he and other daddy have the, uh, door closed for a little while and you lie on the floor and try to peek and listen through the gap at the bottom of the door. Not today but that one is evergreen the weirdest thing I've said.
Did He Deserve It
When my daughter was three this boy (maybe 4) walked up to her in the store and slapped her. The boy's dad of course yelled at him but before either of us could get to them she full on knocked this kid on the ground with one punch. First thing out of my mouth? "Nice hit sweetie but you shouldn't extend your arm that far."
This Isn't Up For Debate
"No, buddy. Nazis really are bad."
Nazis came up in a conversation in front of him and he thinks disagreeing is the funniest thing ever so he kept saying they were good.
It's Just Right There
Obligatory "not a parent" but I am a preschool teacher and the weirdest thing I've had to say so far to a kid is "We don't kiss our teacher on the butt."
Can't say I blame the kid, I mean, adult butts are right at their face level.
No Protein?!
This may not sound weird to most people, but those with a toddler will be wondering WTF
"No bud, you cant have just peas & carrots for dinner. Can you at least try a bite of chicken nugget or cheese?"
(My 2 year old is a freak of nature and regularly eats only the veggies, no matter what i make)
Mom Who Questioned Whether Timeouts Are Actually Good for Kids Is Sparking a Heated Debate About Parenting
One mom blogger challenged parents to look at the way they punish their kids.
Now it's sparked a debate
Mom blogger, Laura Muhl, wrote a post that suggests parents look at the way they handle toddlers and punishment. Most kids have been put in a corner for misbehaving, but Muhl challenged that idea.
Timeout is used for any infraction from whining over nothing to throwing things or hitting others. And Muhl claimed timeout leads to long term issues for children.
Muhl started her post with a quote from L.R Knost's book The Gentle Parent:
"Perhaps the reason teens isolate themselves when they're overwhelmed instead of coming to us with their problems is because when they're toddlers we isolate them when they're overwhelmed instead of helping them with their problems."
These words spoke to Muhl when she read the book. It sparked something in her that she felt needed to be shared.
Muhl added her own take on it:
"When our kids are small and trying to manage emotions, they can't express what they are feeling. They throw tantrums, they throw things, they have meltdowns, they scream and they whine. This is their way of communicating with us."
Muhl went on to suggest that this isolation is teaching children to suppress their feelings. According to Muhl's interpretation of Knost's work, this causes children to pull away from their parents when they are teens because they have been taught to suppress their emotions.
Muhl said:
"Give your child permission to feel. Let them know their feelings are valid and that you care, no matter how small. Make sure they know that they are heard."
"Pretty soon meltdowns over crayons will turn into breakups, heartbreak, sex, or even depression. You want your child to know that you will always hear them, no matter how small. You are their safe space."
Parents weighed in on both sides of the argument.
The post quickly racked up a whopping 4000 comments both for and against timeouts. Those who agreed with Muhl liked the idea of a steady and balanced approach to dealing with toddlers and their tantrums.
Other parents stood on the "Hard No" side of the line. Citing lack of discipline in today's youth, they blamed isolation in teens on cellphones and social media.
There were also those parents who use timeouts to pull their children out of the situation.
This gives the child a chance to calm down and step out of the situation. After the child calms down, it gives the parents and child a chance to talk over what caused the problem in the first place.
Child Behaviour Research Clinic at University of Sydney in Australia recently did a study in regards to timeouts. The study showed that children are happier when given timeouts.
It also showed that timeouts are still the most effective form of punishments for the very young child.
Professor Mark Dadds, based at the University's Brain and Mind Centre, stated:
"In 30 years, we've treated thousands of kids with disruptive behavior. When we use time-out as part of a positive parenting program, kids are much happier and much more regulated."
This study, and other smaller ones, have shown the same thing. Timeouts are more effective than physical forms of punishment.
After the comments, whether for or against, started pouring in, Muhl stated:
"A lot of people misunderstood my words and interpreted it as me saying to never discipline your child. This is totally not the case. As an adult, when something stressful happens, I don't want to be sent off to cry it out. Being left to cry it out is being told that they shouldn't have those feelings in the first place."
She continued with:
"Everything we do shapes their emotional brain for the rest of their lives. Being mindful of our own actions and the effects we have on our child is so important ... [as is] making sure that your child knows that they are loved and heard and capable of making better choices going forward."
Time out chairs grace Pintrest boards and Facebook marketplaces.
As kids, many of us sat in chairs in corners while waiting for our parents to let us up. Emotions are better conveyed if a person can pull themselves from a situation and calm down before talking things over.
But the generation before us were spanked. The generation before them went to the woodshed with a belt or a switch.
Discipline evolves over time.
ChildMind.org explains it best.
"That means a lot of affection and positive feedback for kids, but also consistent consequences when they act inappropriately. Timeouts help you communicate that behavior is unacceptable without blowing your top."