There's nothing like throwing a tantrum in a Mcdonald's because you didn't get the color toy you wanted. As an adult.
Yep. Get ready, because there's a lot more where that come from!
If you'd like to read more stories like these, check out the source at the end of this article.
Someone dressed as an anime character at a Japanese culture and History festival flipped his lid because there was nothing anime related. He started shouting complaints at vendors and exhibit owners he thought it was an anime convention.
Skyrim midnight launch. The only store in town that had one. Preorders only.
Now, they did have copies they sold that weren't preordered, but it was first come first serve. So it's not like the employees were being dicks about it.
I grab my preordered copy, my mate grabs his. Our other friend showed up about 10 minutes after we did, so we waited for him. While we're waiting, some dude walked to the counter and asked for a copy, but had no preorder. "Sorry mate, none left. We had very limited copies that weren't preorders".
The dude just lost it. Started rambling about how effed up his life his and his one piece of hope was Elder Scrolls. He literally starts the waterworks and starts knocking everything around the store as he's leaving. He yells at everyone else for taking his game from him. We could hear him screaming and I mean gut wrenching screaming all the way down the road.
My wife and I took our nieces to the Naruto movie premiere. Movie was good, lots of teenagers screaming and cheering every time Naruto had a scene.
Since it was the premiere, they had a documentary afterwards, about the cast. Turns out Naruto is played by a middle aged Irish-American lady named Maile Flanagan. Ever heard several hundred young teenage girls' fantasies evaporate all at the same time? It was epic. There were tears, there were shouts of anger. I suspect poor Maile got some nasty fan mail.
I don't drink and I don't play poker, but I won the Poker Tourney at the local brewery. The guy sitting next to me the whole night - wearing sunglasses, talking probability, and complaining that I wasn't paying attention to the game - really flipped out. And it was glorious.
I won a gift certificate for beer.
Remember those Pokemon gold cards that came in the giant Pokeballs that Burger King used to sell? I had friends OBSESSED with those damn things. Trying to get all 6... Or 10... I forget how many. They believed they'd be worth MILLIONS in the future. Our local BKs sold out of them very quickly, and I saw a kid jump the register and run to the back trying to find one. He thought "they had more in the back" and... I'm not sure what he was planning to do beyond that, but he definitely tried before being tackled and held back by several employees.
The 90s were a weird time. I feel like most fast food places wouldn't care that much nowadays to TACKLE AND PIN DOWN A CUSTOMER. But... Well, there ya go.
The Beanie Baby craze. From 1998-2000 I worked my first job at McDonald's and people were fist fighting each other for them. It was crowded as all heck on a Saturday afternoon, there were crying kids, and the police had to be called. Nowadays most beanie babies are worth diddly squat.
When the Tickle Me Elmo toys first came out, they didn't think the demand was going to be so high and they ended up not making enough. People literally got into fist fights with each other because they wanted a stupid kids toy for their five year old child.
I went to a Dolly Parton concert with my brother, and we had really good seats about 10 or 12 rows back. Well, one poor guy in maybe row 6 or 7 got emotionally overwhelmed, seriously. He was standing up a lot (everyone else sat), waving and yelling occasionally, and at one point started crying. Despite that, no one I could see really seemed to care, but maybe someone did complain.
Unfortunately, between songs security came over and told him he had to leave. They might have warned him beforehand, I don't remember. But they did make a big production out of it, which wasn't at all necessary.
But Dolly was great - she stood there and thanked him, told him she was sad he had to leave, and told him to wait outside because she would send one of her outfits out to him to take home. I think she really meant it, and I hope that really happened.
When the Phantom Menace came out there were lots of "Jedis" "dueling" with florescent colored pvc tubes in front of the theater.
I am not sure what saber fighting style a few of them were using, but in the ongoing sloppiness someone got hit with a pvc tube pretty hard.
What shortly ensued was a few real fights with pvc tubes and a multitude of red faced jedis reee reeing at each other, swinging at each other like they were piatas.
It was more entertaining than the movie.
San Diego Comic Con. Every year it gets worse and worse. The lines are unmanageable. From people cutting in line, fighting, screaming and all out nerd raging, it's a mess.
Want to see grown men fight over Funko Pops? Magic the Gathering cards? Mondo posters? Shopkins? Well come to SDCC.
Yoshitaka Amano, the artist that created the art of the Final Fantasy franchise, attended an anime convention way back and severely underestimated his popularity in the U.S.
After his panel was over, he agreed to sign merchandise. But instead of just signing stuff, he DREW PICTURES, and even looked at other people's art work. The line for this weaved seemingly forever at the hotel, but he had a plane to catch and had to leave. A few fans went so wild in line that he stayed until the entire line was done.
As much as I regret he had to deal with that situation, I was at the back of the line and still got a Final Fantasy book signed (with a VERY quickly drawn image of a girl) from the best gaming/fantasy illustrator in existence.
I worked at a movie theater in high school. Our boss (obviously because it's his job) was very strict on Rated-R movies, and checking ID's. One of my co-workers was working box office on the night "American Sniper" came out. A group of obviously younger than 17-year-olds came up to buy tickets from him. He asked for their ID's, none of them even had permits yet. They asked him to just let it go, he said no. Then, the "alpha" of the group gets up against the glass and starts threatening my co-worker's life, saying that he will go home, get his dad's gun, and shoot him, unless he lets the group buy tickets.
It's funny, because even if he sold them tickets, they would've gone inside to the usher, and the manager with the usher would've asked for their ID's and they would've been sent back outside for refunds.
Such is life in a crumbling suburb.
I've seen hardcore Magic players flip tables at Friday Night Magic. It gets way too intense to even enjoy going anymore.
In the fifth grade there was this kid in my class who was obsessed with Hermione Granger. Not Emma Watson, but her character from Harry Potter. Im talking 15-20 different pictures in his locker and like plastered on his folders, binders, etc. In short: it was too much. One day a kid in our class insulted him about it. Wrong move. He lost it. He instantly started crying. Bawling is a better description. Then after about 30 seconds of utter emotional meltdown he attacked the kid, clawing at his eyes, pulling hair, all the while screaming at the top of his lungs Hermione Granger is beautiful! Hermione Granger is beautiful!. One of the strangest experiences of my life.
I had a 50 year old woman in tears at my store because I didn't have an iPhone 8plus in Gold. She had to get silver.
McDonald's had My Little Pony toys a few years back. The cops got called to the McDonald's down the block from my house because some Brony, (a usually grown "bro-man" who loves My Little Pony), went in for a Rarity or a Pinkie Pie (I can't remember which one it was), they were all out, and he straight had the most maximum fedora fit on the face of the planet. He tried to knock down the toy display to get the toy he wanted out of it, except it's bolted to the wall.
I found out later, from one of the workers, that it was the same guy I got banned from the nearby mall for literally following me everywhere I went. I was highly unsurprised.
A guy was at an anime convention in Tokyo and chatted up one of the voice actresses that was there as a guest. Later, on a train, one of the more awkward attendees confronts him and spazzes at him for daring to talk to whomever (because he was in love with her or something) - the guy knocks him over and he runs off into the night.
Rock fans sending death threats to a radio host because they cut a Pink Floyd song in the middle of a solo.
Last year in June, Kotaku reported that No Mans Sky was being delayed two months. Fans of the game (more accurately fans of the hype for the game) called the writer for that minor news update a liar and when Sean Murray personally confirmed the delay on Twitter those same people threatened to kill everyone at Hello Games.
People spoiling the end of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince to fans waiting in line to buy the book at the Barnes and Noble midnight release event. That was a rough one.
I used to be a manager at PetSmart years ago. I got called up to the front for "customer service" which usually meant I was about to get yelled at over expired coupons.
It was a girl in full-on furry gear, holding pamphlets. It was too long ago to remember the exact conversation but she essentially asked me if she could walk around the store in her suit handing out pamphlets on furry culture. She also thought it would be fun for people to interact with a furry in a pet store. Of course, I politely told her no. She started to essentially beg me, so I tried to offer the usual excuses, "it's corporate policy," "it's a safety issue." (Honestly, it probably is a safety issue. She could have gotten attacked if she approached the wrong dog in the wrong way). She would NOT relent. I started to become irritated at this point, and told her she would have to leave. Her response was to start SCREAMING, and yes, barking at me. Apparently I was discriminating against furries her words, not mine. She finally left after a few minutes of that, but it was quite a sight to behold.
When the wii came out I met a friend just to chill with him in line at 4am. The store had a limited number so they handed out tickets to the people already in line to make sure we got one. Not long after, a young kid (12-14) asked the clerk if there were any tickets left, but the clerk told him they were already out and he instantly looked heartbroken. Like, might begin to tear up kind of shattered. Standing there, I knew my friend was also going to buy one and I could play his, so without a thought I just gave him my ticket. You'd think he just won the fricken lottery on Christmas morning. As soon as he ran to the back of the line the guy directly behind me is besides himself; "OH MY GOD. YOU COULD HAVE SOLD THAT TICKET FOR 100$. 50$ AT LEAST. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THESE ARE TO GET? YOU'RE SO STUPID. GOOD LUCK ON EBAY."
It was the early 2000s, and the 2nd LOTR movie had just come out. Good movie. It was getting close to the huge battle at the end, when the fire alarm in the theatre went off. Everyone exits, and it turns out to be nothing. For some reason the theatre wouldn't/couldn't resume the movie where it was and decided to pass out vouchers instead. In the background I hear some guy yell about how he had to take off work to see this movie. He then proceeded to beat the crap out of a Jungle Book2 cardboard cutout. RIP Baloo the Bear!
Mine wasn't necessarily a fanboy, but it was their mother. It was black Friday a couple years ago and somehow I let my other half convince me to go with her. I thought it'd be a good idea to go to Kohl's because they had a really nice deal on a ps4 bundle. We get there like a half hour early, and we're pretty close to the front of the line and waiting to go inside. I'd never done black Friday prior to this, so I was not prepared for the idiocy that would ensue. They opened the doors and everyone sprinted into the door like full out sprint and people were trying to push us out of the way as we were just walking to go inside. I make my way to the back of the store where the electronics department is, meanwhile there are people literally darting around the store grabbing item after item, looking like rabid dogs.
I get to the back of the store and I see a stack of ps4s and a line of people waiting for them, so I get to the back of the line and the closer I get the smaller the pile of ps4s gets. At this point I'm just accepting that I probably won't get one and it's really not a big deal. The only reason I was picking one up was to save a few bucks. Well, I'm second in line and there is one more ps4 on the stack, the lady and her son in front of me are about to get it but I couldn't quite tell if it was the last one because people were everywhere and I didn't have a clear line of sight.
So I ask her "Hey, can you tell if that's the last one?", she then turns around, looks me dead in the eye and says "You're damn right it is and you're not going to fing get it, understand ahole?"
I was dumbfounded honestly, so I just kind of shook my head and told her that it wasn't that big of a deal as she continued to make snide comments under her breath and people all over the store were arguing and fighting for different items or yelling at the employees to find things and just generally being rude. The lady gets her ps4 that she was ready to fight to the death for, and walks away, giving me the stare of death. I just shake it off and ask the employee who was handing them out if there were any left.
Sure enough they had another pallet in the back and were just waiting to bring them out, so I ended up getting one, but I've never seen so many people act so rude over material items. It was the first and last time I have ever attending any store for black Friday. Never again. We also went to several other stores that night for my Ex and all of them were equally terrible.
I worked at Best Buy when Star Wars Episode 1 was released on DVD for the first time. I had worked the opening shift, and was asked to come in a little early to help set up all the displays.
People were camped outside for a few hours before the store opened. About 30 minutes before the store opened, I could see this seething, undulating mass of humanity crowded outside the doors, waiting for them to open so they could grab their copy. I swear it looked like a few of them were trying to Jedi Mind Trick me into opening the doors early.
I was making jokes with my fellow employees, when my manager came and asked me to stand by the doors so I could direct the incoming horde to the various displays (there were 2 or 3 of them I think). As I took my place near the doors, the store manager approached the front doors of the store to open them, and I saw the entire mass tense like they were about to run a gauntlet.
As soon as the doors opened, the human ocean outside burst its way in. I raised my hand to wave to them in greeting, but before I could get my arm halfway up to greeting position, I was slammed off of my feet as they ran past me. It was like I wasn't even there.
I picked myself up, with no injuries other than my pride, and saw these piranhas devour the first display they came to. Within minutes (it seemed), the display was empty. Some customers who hadn't grabbed a copy (and didn't realize that we had more in stock), started pushing and shouting, and it looked like there might be a brawl erupting at any moment. I tried to tell everyone that we had more, but they were shouting over me. One kid (maybe 9 or 10 years old) was standing next to his mom and crying because he hadn't managed to get a copy. His mom was trying to console him, while moving him away from the riotous mass in front of them.
I went back to the crowd, finally it got quiet enough so I could explain that we had more in stock. The remaining crowd rushed to the other displays, and I pulled a copy aside for the boy and his mom and handed it to them so they wouldn't have to be near the assholes who were ready to fight each other.
All of this crap just for Jar Jar Binks.
My boyfriend got death threats back when the Xbox one first came out. He worked in a locally owned video game store and they only got 25 systems in, but only had 25 preorders. A guy comes in without a preorder and demanded the system. When he was told that all of the systems had been preordered and they wouldn't get more in for a few more weeks he flipped his lid, threatening to shoot people and saying that the faculty at the store better sleep with one eye open.
Unfortunately this is "normal" around console releases. Luckily I don't think he ever came back.
At my local comic book store, I was shopping for my Batty Man books. I hear a scream behind me and is was as if someone pulled the string from his body. A 40 year old man broke down, collapsed, and went fetal in the floor. He was doing what the kids call "ugly crying" He laid there for 30 minutes and other Superman fans helped him to a chair and got him some water.
When Esperanza Spalding beat out Justin Bieber for Best New Artist so his fans vandalized her Wikipedia page.
This line of people were outside the Apple store at the mall, waiting to get the iPhone 5 when it first came out. My sister and I were there shopping for a new dress for some presentation she had to put together, and we passed by right when a disagreement started among two people in line. The conversation went, loosely quoted, like this,
"Hey, I had that spot you [rude word]!"
"Uh, no. I started waiting here when the mall opened up. It's my spot."
"You little [rude word], you think you're better than me because you were stupid enough to get in line at 7am this morning? All you did was waste your time."
"Yes, well it got me ahead of you, didn't it? Leave me alone, please."
The angry weird person in line then goes quiet for a moment before *punching** the other guy right in the nose*
On another note, that's also the first time I've been witness to an arrest of a grown man while he screamed about the other guy deserving it for being an asshole. The guy who got punched was given first aid and everyone in front let him move to the first spot in line.
My sister and I literally bought soda and cookies and sat in the little lounge area close by to see all of this unfold. Once a guy punches another guy for a spot in line you can't miss out by leaving before the cops arrive.
Thanks for reading!
Comments have been edited for clarity.
Christmas is upon us. It's time to get those Christmas present lists together.
So... who has been naughty and who has been nice?
Who is getting diamonds and who is getting coal? Yuck, coal. Is that even a thing anymore? Who even started that idea?
There has to be some funnier or more "for the times" type of "you've been naughty" stocking stuffer.
I feel like the statement coal used to make is kind of last century at this point.
Apparently I'm not alone in this thinking.
Case in point...
Redditor rallfreedom wanted us to update Santa's deliveries for the children on the naughty list, they asked:
"Since Santa is old, and coal was considered worthless back in the day, what new worthless item could Santa give to naughty children in 2021?"
If you really wanted to set me off on Christmas morning, then you should leave me something personalized. Something you how I'd hate. Like a cassette tape of 80's Christian soft rock. That would make a statement of just how naughty I've been.
What a DifferenceBlockbuster GIF by Big Potato GamesGiphy
"Blockbuster gift cards." ~ GamerOfGods33
"And still no one will shop at the one franchise location still open." ~ pesto_trap_god
"AOL Internet discs... (actually getting rare these days)." ~ whorton59
"After collecting enough of those AOL discs, I just open a bottle of Tennessee whiskey and make AOL disc fish wall art." ~ ExRockstar
"I wish I still had the picture, but my friend passed onto me a photo of a chair (more like a throne, if I recall) made entirely of AOL discs." ~ PM_MeYourSmilingFace
"Outdated phone chargers." ~ TheBrotherhoods
"A correct phone charger for the device, but it only works in one very specific angle and charges the phone super slow." ~ Karl_the_stingray
"People rave about how good old Nokias were but they forget that if you went up a version like you got upgraded to a 3310 from a 3210 then all your chargers were now something like 0.25mm too small and you had to buy all new ones." ~ erroneousbosh
"We currently misinterpreted what 'naughty kids get coal' originally meant. For a poor family in December, coal was the difference between warmth and freezing, hot food and not. 'Coal' was not something mean. It was like socks, now." ~ adaza
"Exactly. If the child was selfless, they would get a personal gift as a reward. If the child was selfish, they instead would get a gift to be shared with the family, forcing them to be more altruistic." ~ MoobyTheGoldenSock
Necessities...toilet paper help GIFGiphy
"Toilet paper. Just like coal, it's something the whole house needs and will use but is going to be bought anyway. It's also consumable and practical just like coal." ~ NeverGetaSpaceship
I could still use toilet paper. You never know when society is gonna go off into the deep end again and buy it all up. Remember the beginning of Covid?
Spinfidget GIF by Future GenerationsGiphy
"Idk why but I feel like fidget spinners would be pretty infuriating to the masses of children as something that still counts as a gift but is for sure a let down & past trend." ~ mmaster42
Way back when...
"An "Introduction to Windows 95" book." ~ Actual_grass
"There's one of those package shipping stores near me that sells all kinds of miscellaneous stuff. Anything to make a buck. They have a carousel stand with laminated sheets containing tips on how to use various computer programs. Still for sale as of last week: 'Shortcut keys for Windows XP' and 'Tips for using Microsoft Word 2010.'" ~ dartdoug
"He could give kids one of the old cables that was collected over the years but wasn't thrown away because it could need it at some point." ~ CaptWeirdBeard
"I have a tupperware tote full of those things. I'll sell it to Santa for scap value of the copper. You hear that Santa? $5 and it's all yours." ~ GreatJanitor
"A rotary phone." ~ cannotbefaded
"My Grandma had a rotary phone she kept(still worked so why not) as well as having a cordless phone. Had a relative that wanted to use the rotary phone the one time just to use it instead, decided they didn't want to do that again." ~ golden_fli
"Okay, I actually like rotary phones. I was young enough to remember using rotary phones and preferred using them to touch tone phones. Only because it was fun to spin the dial and watch it spin back into place." ~ GreatJanitor
So close...ronald mcdonald mcdonalds GIFGiphy
"McDonald's toys from 2 years ago. Old enough to not be popular trends, but new enough to not be collector's items." ~ GavinSnowe
McDonald's still has toys? Who knew? And those fidget spinners, how did anyone ever enjoy those? That would set me off as well.
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I admit, I love my stuffed animals. They're the best.
Some of them have been with me for years and I have them proudly displayed in different spots around my apartment. And when I've packed them for a move, I've done so with all the tender loving care I can muster.
What is it about them that stirs up these feelings?
Believe it or not, it's quite possible to form emotional attachments to inanimate objects!
People told us all about their own feelings after Redditor MoneySquare5734 asked the online community:
"People of Reddit, what weird sympathies do you have towards inanimate objects?"
"Computers when someone's throwing a fit or tantrum over something like a game lag, buffering or general software issues. Like dude, get angry at the real cause not the hardware thats essentially just the messenger."
We really mistreat our hardware sometimes, don't we? Going to apologize to my computer now.
"I think we're okay now..."
"I once slapped my iPad when it was being slow, then instinctively hugged it and apologised afterwards. I think we’re okay now but the level of trust definitely isn’t what it used to be."
Serves you right! You have a lot to make up for!
"I have way too much emotion..."
"I have way too much emotion invested in my Roomba. Especially as I only have one charging station, so when it's running in my living room/hallway, it can never get back to base as there's a step in the way."
"Usually feel guilty when I come home and find it stuck in some corner, knowing that it literally ran until exhaustion trying to find its home."
I do not have a Roomba but my friend has one and I think he has the opposite reaction. I think he mistreats his!
"All my dollar bills..."
"All my dollar bills need to face up in my wallet, otherwise I get the feeling those Georges and Lincolns are uncomfortable."
I think I do this too. I did not ask to be attacked like this.
"If I see..."
"If I see a really ugly plush toy at a thrift store, I feel compelled to buy it because I feel like it will just get thrown away. So now I have quite a few ugly plushies. I love them."
Aww, they now have a home with you and they must be so happy!
"I guess in general..."
"Abandoned toys. I guess in general I just feel so bad for any inanimate object that is no longer serving its purpose."
How many toys end up in the dump each year, I wonder? And how many of them are plotting their revenge as we speak?
"So I transferred everything..."
"I got a new cellphone not too long ago. So I transfered everything to my new phone but I didn't turn off the old phone afterward."
"This happened late on a Sunday and the next morning my old phone still rang to wake me up and I was somewhat sad that it still thought it was my current phone and that it still had the duty to wake me in the morning."
The feelings this stirred up... I did not know it was possible to feel this way!
"I am very appreciative..."
"Sometimes I give my car a pat on the dashboard and say thank you. It has carried me so many thousands of miles and i am safe. I am very appreciative of its hard work."
Aww. I don't have a car, but I get this! And your car appreciates YOU!
"When I was a kid..."
"When I was a kid I spent a whole afternoon feeding pebbles to a small drain outside my house because I thought it was hungry."
Okay, this is cute – and totally something a little kid would do!
"There's a thing I call..."
"There’s a thing I call 'mechanical empathy.' If you emotionally attach to your bike or car you’ll be kinder and more gentle to it."
"Some people are really rough on cars and other machinery, it’s painful to drive with them."
I was in a car recently with a driver who got a bad case of road rage and just slammed her hands on the dashboard whenever she was upset. That poor car!
Who knew we could feel so attached to the inanimate objects around us? Humans are fascinating creatures. We're capable of a lot of love and empathy, even for the smallest things.
Have some opinions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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They say your 30's hits different, like one day you're young a hopeful and the next day you're just WAY too old for this.
What is the "this" you're suddenly too old for?
No idea. It's different for everyone, but make no mistake, it'll happen to you too.
Maybe it already has?
Reddit user BMA1500 asked:
"What sh*t are you too old for?"
Let's take a look at how "too old" hit these Reddit users.
"Arguing with ignorant people on the internet."
"I have no patience or bandwidth to argue with random a-holes on social. Learned that lesson a long time ago."
"Too many fakes and bots now anyway. I am pretty much a 'read only' user of other platforms and only share opinions in person on polarizing issues."
"Petty games while talking to a potential partner."
"Just be straight up and real with me. Tricks are for kids."
"I've always felt this way."
"I remember when one of my girls explained the concept of 'playing hard to get' to me and I was annoyed just hearing it."
"If I have to chase you, that means you’re running away, and I don’t have time for that. If you seem uninterested, I’ll take it on the chin and leave you alone."
"If you like me just say that. If you don’t like me just say that. It’s not hard and moves the process along much faster."
"If you text me and I’m free, I’m going to text back. I’m not going to wait three hours for aesthetic purposes."
"The list goes on."
Cut That Out
"This sounds like some Instagram motivational sh*t, but spending time around people that I genuinely don't like or who make me unhappy and uncomfortable."
"There's so short of a time we have on this Earth and it just hit me right before I turned 30 that I spent a ton of that time with people who I thought sucked."
"I cut that out and I'm much happier."
"I realized this at my cousins wedding. I had a family member walk up to me flat out call me ugly, fat and say that I wasn’t the “good” family guy anymore."
"What!?!? Why would you even say that?? And they said it with a smile on their face the whole time..."
"After that night I haven’t spoken to them in 2 years and I’m super happy! I’m too f*cking old to be dealing with that nonsense for the rest of my life."
"It takes days to recover now, and most bad hangovers come with an existential crisis attached."
"When I was young I remember times I'd have a day off from work and be like 'Hell yeah, I'm gonna get trashed and play video games all night it's gonna be great!' "
"Now it's like "Great, I'm 3 drinks in and I'm just tired & have heart burn.' "
"It's not the same."
"I used to work 12-9pm, party the entire night. And then be back to work like a pro."
"If this was a Friday, partying used to resume Saturday afternoon. That was my early 20s."
"In my 30s now, and I wait for Fridays so that I can be dead on my bed the entire Saturday."
"The existential crisis is the worst. Just lying there wondering what the hell you are doing with your life, what came to this and when you are going to grow out of it."
"Then it passes and life goes on."
"General admission tickets. My old ass requires a reserved seat."
"Hahaha… last gen admission show I went to I had to find a 'comfortable' wall to lean on."
"When it comes to music festivals, the wife and I go for VIP just so we can get fancier washrooms and shorter lines at the food trucks."
"I agree but, man, it makes feel like I’m a spectator at at a concert and not part of the real party down on the floor."
"There comes an age when you have to consider... 'Do I really care what kind of clickbait sh*t my high school friends who I never talk to and never will see, likes?' "
"I only had Facebook because it helped with socializing in college/high school, but afterwards it's really hard to want to add new friends because they can see your history, and you can too."
"Honestly, the only reason why I have a Facebook is because I still have my mom as my friend and she passed 4 years ago."
"Every time I go on there, I'm tired now."
"I deleted Facebook three years ago."
"Found out all my Marine Corps buddies were either total idiots, painfully stereotypical post-9/11 veterans, ill-informed political junkies, and mostly people I haven't had anything to do with in years."
"Moving or helping other people move. Just no."
"I've moved a lot of times and have helped many people move."
"One of the best decisions I've ever made was hiring movers. 300 bucks for the big stuff is money extremely well spent."
"I've broken my body helping people move because I'm the 'young and strong guy' in the friend group. Way too many times now. F*ck that sh*t, hire movers."
"I can agree with this."
"I used to work as a mover for a couple summers and I don't even want to move myself lmao."
Not The Cool Old Guy
"I told myself when I get older I need to be open minded and not the close minded grumpy old man..."
"Then I see all these obviously staged videos and corny dancing/lip syncing stuff and realize it’s inevitable I am not gonna be the cool old guy."
"I have this exact same process with TikTok."
"I think to myself, 'I’m really the bitter old woman I said I would never be, aren’t I?' Lol"
"I’ve downloaded TikTok at least 3 times and deleted it almost immediately."
"I am drawing a line at TikTok. I’m old."
Since We're Talking About TikTok...
"When Macy's Thanksgiving Parade performers are introduced as "TikTok sensation" without any other credentials worth mentioning."
"I think the only performer I knew yesterday was Kelly Rowland because of Destiny’s Child."
"My google search history is full of my confusion."
"Oh man I’m so glad we missed the parade then. Maybe I’m just too old but that would’ve been cringe."
Why Are We Screaming?
"People (mainly young girls) who scream for no reason."
"I understand if you're terrified of something, but screaming when you meet up with your friends or just when the situation does not call for it makes me SO mad. I find it so infuriating."
"Just shut up. Lol."
"My kids learned a very long time ago not to scream like that. I hate excessive loud noise in any environment, but it’s especially nerve wracking in close quarters."
"My Mother-in-Law will have a dinner every so often for the family to get together. My husbands brother’s kids are so freaking annoying like this."
"We’re having pizza? Scream."
"We’re baking cookies? Scream."
"Someone found you in hide and seek? Scream."
"I’ve been too old for that since I was 6. Shit was ALWAYS annoying."
Real talk, apparently I'm *very* old going by the stuff on this list.
I'm gonna need to go sit with that for a bit... let me go turn on the seat warmer so my bones aren't stiff when I stand up later.
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Do all mothers go to the say mom school or something? Because they seem to share the same advice or go on the same platitudes, don't they?
Here's an idea.
Maybe they're just older, have more experience, and are trying to keep us from being dumbasses in public. At least, that's what I think.
I'm definitely grateful for my mother's advice—it's saved me more than once—and it seems many out there are too. And they all seem to have heard the same things from their mothers, too.
Any of these sound familiar? They probably do, and we heard all about them after Redditor lame_excuses asked the online community,
"What are some things all moms say?"
"I'll go first..."
"I'll go first: 'So if your friend jumped off a cliff would you jump off too?"
Okay, my mother did not say this, but all my friends' mothers did.
"We have fun."
"My mom always made me put on a coat when we went outside, even if I wasn't cold, simply because she was cold."
"Now that I'm an adult, she no longer tells me this but instead I complain about being cold and ask, indignantly, why no one told me to put in a coat."
"We have fun."
I want a documentary crew to follow you both around. It'd be hilarious.
"I credit George Carlin for all of these."
"When you lose something."
- Have you tried looking for it?
- Have you looked everywhere?
- Well, it didn't just get up and walk away.
"I credit George Carlin for all of these."
George Carlin knew what he was talking about. RIP.
"You know Glynis? She's your aunt's mother-in-law's close friend. Anyway, she died last week."
"I have eyes..."
"I have eyes in the back of my head."
"My mom used to say that to my sister and I so we wouldn't be sneaky behind her back. One day she was washing the dishes and I came up behind her with my two fingers and poked her right where I assumed her back eyes would be. She shouted, 'Ouch!' I believed her for years!!"
I was convinced of this too! Damn, my mother was good.
"I had some friends over..."
"I had some friends over when I was a teenager, and I bet them I could get my mom to say the word 'food.'"
"Hey, mom, what's for dinner?"
"Worked every time."
You both clearly planned this!
"When at the billing counter..."
"When at the billing counter every mom has the maternal instinct to say - 'Just stay in the line, I need to go grab a few more things.'"
This is my mother.
How many times have I dealt with this?!
“It’s because you didn’t drink enough water."
BUT I DO!!
"If you have siblings..."
"If you have other siblings and they’re trying to yell at you they will call you by all your other siblings' names before they get to yours. Usually starting with the oldest and working their way backwards."
Good thing my family was small!
"My Mum used to use it all the time..."
"'Soon.'" An indeterminate time frame from 5 minutes to several hours. My Mum used to use it all the time to deflect stupid questions like 'When is dinner?'"
"Answer: she always, always served it around 6 pm."
It's true! My mother would do this – and still does this. And we definitely don't eat as early as that!
Confirmed: All mothers meet for the annual mother convention to say all–and I do mean ALL–of these things to their kids.
Anything missing, though? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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