1. It's more of a Jim to Dwight thing. A coworker wrapped up his entire cubicle in wrapping paper, but did it in a way where his setup looked like a present.
When he walked in, he looked so confused. He took about 2 minutes to analyze the situation, ripped a piece of it open, ducked under, and proceeded to take a couple of calls while his cubicle was still wrapped like a present.
2. The guy I share an office with once wrote me up for leaving my car keys on my desk. His reasoning was that someone could grab my keys, steal my car, get in a wreck and we could be held liable.
Another time, our director of engineering (my boss' boss) bought me a new office chair and he wrote up a 10 paragraph dissertation on how she was not allowed to buy me that chair and it must be returned immediately, and sent it to every upper management person in our division.
He also puts a read receipt on every single email he sends.
3. He took a photo (using his phone) of a manager using his phone in an area you are not allowed mobile devices and then proceeded to try and use the photo to be the manager in trouble.
4. My manager called me into her office to tell me about a career opportunity.
It was a pretty obvious email scam, some Chinese business looking for new employees. They needed all the applicants contact info, and promised to pay 150k USD in the first year of employment. It was super shady, and I started to laugh.
She got legitimately pissed off at me for laughing, and I tried to explain to her that it was a fake email, nothing but a scam. She actually told me to get out of her office and that I didn't know anything. I have no clue how she wound up in a managerial position.
Anonymous
5. He recently bought a motorcycle, but had to have a coworker drive it home since he doesnt have the license yet.
He recently went to a job convention since if he gets a job offer, he can petition for an early release from the army. So he walked around the office for an entire day with a stack of business cards talking about how many jobs offers he received. His applications are actually still pending.
He is a sergeant, but not many people take him seriously so he was put in charge of the companys' humvees and larger trucks instead of real people.
He does the "knife hand" whenever he tries to give orders to people, especially when he's on the phone with them.
There are so many more things, but these are all I have for now.
6. I'm a software engineer at Google. Everyone is Dwight. Everyone.
7. We were doing software development for a mid sized company. We had a few staff programmers and a team of consultants, "George" was the latest staff programmer we hired.
First couple weeks we had him and some other programmers from another department go through a 'boot camp' to get familiar with our code base and the patterns we were using. "George" immediately informs the architect that it was all "beneath" him. It was pretty much downhill from there.
We gave him a few chances at joining our group for lunch. "George" turned out to be the most inept conversationalist. He would just randomly interrupt the group to talk about the time he went to a taping of American Gladiators when he was a kid, how he was a black belt and had use chopsticks to eat so the other black belts wouldn't give him a hard time, how he bought some miniature cows so he wouldn't have to mow his lawn, etc... After the first week, we had to coordinate leaving for lunch via IM so we could leave without him asking to go along.
"George" also had a bit of a gas problem, loudly farting 3-4 times a day. It didn't help that we were in a bull-pen style cube farm with all mesh aeron chairs.
There were more character flaws, but you get the idea. Which all of that could have been overlooked, except for the fact that he (Continued)
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he was also a terrible programmer. Every piece of code he touched needed to be fixed by someone else. We found out later that he had been posting his tasks to programming forum and would basically just cut and paste different replies till he got something that would compile, push it to prod (before we implemented a strict change control process) and then try to deny his changes just brought down the site.
He lasted a few months before the boss finally let him go. But it was okay because according to George "getting fired was god's way of telling him it's time to move onto better things."
8. There was a guy I used to work with that was the epitome of awkward/strange:
- On his first day, the general manager (his bosss boss) mentioned that if he has any insurance questions he should speak to Hulk (thats just what we called the guy, it obviously wasnt his name) and The Dwight responded with What? I dont see any angry green men around here? and the GM just kind of smirked and pointed to who he meant. So The Dwight proudly continued on with Did you know I have the exact same dimensions as superman? And the eyes to match This guy was not built like Superman, not one bit. I mean he was geeky and had dark hair, but not built like Superman.
- One of the guys mentioned he was picking up a new phone after work and already knew which one he was getting. The Dwight ruthlessly hounded him for the whole day with lecture after lecture about why his choice was wrong and printed out comparisons as to why he should be buying a different phone. He went with his initial choice; The Dwight wasnt happy.
- We used to have drinks on a Friday afternoon, because free booze, why not? During this time we would often end up debating about the hottest celebrities an comparing lists online. We were looking at and debating the historic list of worlds sexiest man when the topic of Pierce Brosnan came up. This was his chance to intervene with an anecdote about how his great aunt was on a plane with Pierce, and it came up (on the place) that the aunt had the same maiden name as Pierce. He then continued to say, So Im pretty much related to Pierce, you can see the family resemblance (despite being a married in aunt, not by blood). Naturally we thought he was joking and laughed, he was not joking.
-At my going away drinks, I had planned to head across to the pub with a small group of people. Not only did he decide to invite himself, but when we got there he ordered a shot, that he then proceeded to sip on for 30 minutes. WHO SIPS ON A SHOT. Its called a shot for heavens sake!
9. At a previous job he got reprimanded for bullying other staff members when it came to the fruit box. He would spend most of his day watching the fruit box and keeping track of how many people were taking and would then stop people from taking fruit when he felt they had taken more than their share. This resulted in a lot of complaints.
10. Ex-Marine cashier. All about following the rules and obeying the chain of command. One time an assistant manager gave him permission to ring up an item under another associate's number so she would get commission on it while she was busy with another customer. The cashier calls the store manager during a meeting, and actually tells him (Continued)
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and actually tells him the assistant manager asked him to ring up an item under another employee's number which is against the rules. Store manager is just like "Yeah. It's fine. Whatever." Assistant manager rolls her eyes.
11. Claimed the ceiling fan (that made a clicking sound) was being used to communicate in Morse code, when translating it he came up with gibberish so he determined it was a code. He never was able to break it and my boss ended up just replacing the fan.
12. I work in a hospital pharmacy. One of our more senior clinical pharmacists has a day 1 teaching for everyone of his new residents or students. He explains, in a serious, matter of fact tone, how pens with caps are nowhere near as efficient as click pens. I forget the exact time, but he actually timed himself readying a click pen vs readying a capped pen. He then counted the amount of times he needed to write per day for a week to find the 'average' amount of time saved per day simply by utilizing a click pen.
If you are on his rotation, you are not allowed to use a capped pen because of this. If you do, and ignore his discussion about clicked pens vs. capped pens, he will actually grade you lower on your time management skills.
13. He asked me who my favorite super hero was. He then told me everything that sucked about Captain America through email and verbally in the breakroom for the rest of the day. All I could think of was:
"Who is your favorite super hero?"
"Captain America."
"False."
14. He spilled his spaghetti he was eating for lunch all over his shoes, so he went to his car to grab his backup Birkenstocks.
15. I had a coworker i would regularly mess with. I actually convinced him that I had never seen an episode of the simpsons. He proceeded to actually (Continued)
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He proceeded to actually explain everything about it to me, all while i asked the dumbest questions i could think of. He would also share nice tidbits about his life, and how he still lived at home with his parents, and shared a room with his brother,and his brother's girlfriend. He was 32. But my favorite thing, he would leave love notes for a female coworker of ours after she hugged him once when she was drunk.
16. I was a nght manager at a restaurant and I had this one server who really wanted to get into management, I will call him Fred. The thing was, he was horrible at his job and would have been an even worse in any sort of management role. He was always eager to try and take charge and boss people around, which didn't accomplish anything because everyone knew he had no power of them. So one day I had to leave the restaurant floor to go to the basement where the office was located grab a couple of paychecks for the guys in the kitchen. As I was heading down stairs to I go to Fred and say, "You're in charge while I'm gone."
Now, I thought Fred would have known I was just joking, but no, he took it very serious. By the time it took me to walk down stairs, open a safe and walk up stairs he had let the power go straight to his head. Not only did he decide he needed to tell another server that she needed to step up or game because she wasn't doing well, she was new and doing great, he also decided that he needed to reorganize the plates in our pass through because he didn't think it was efficient enough. We had to have a long chat about appropriate work behaviour and boundaries after that.
17. He brought in a shotput-looking metal ball and sat in the office one day telling me to look and see how he's rolling it on his arm.
18. Store was closed for a good half an hour. I was in charge that night. Had a co worker say he was going to report me for not having my shirt tucked in despite the fact that
despite the fact that the store was closed and he was standing there with his not tucked in and then proceeds to hastily tuck his in...
19. I have a small pouch containing old silver coins and banknotes, in case I ever have to travel back in time.
I am my co-workers' Dwight Schrute.
20. A co-worker is a volunteer "paramedic" not sure how it works, because he has no certifications, well one day right outside the office there is a highway, a SUV flipped doing probably 70mph, this dude jumped out of his desk and ran into the middle of the highway trying to direct traffic and "save" the victims who happened to be fine, when the real police and paramedics showed up they made him leave but he stood in the grass and just watched like a supervisor.
21. When I worked in security I had a guard quit because we didn't all refer to each other as "Officer _____."
22. "Dwight" saw an attractive coworker approaching from another room. He walked toward her, passing through the doorway, and "bumped" his shoulder hard into the door frame. He said
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He said, "Ow, I got in a really good upper body workout this morning. Sometimes I forget I'm getting bigger."
23. His "friend" owns an Olive Oil company and every so often he basically spams all us non-stop about this great opportunity to buy high quality olive oil at a "heavily discounted price". I have about 5 liters of Olive Oil that have been sitting in my kitchen cupboard for years.
24. From some of our conversations I am 99% sure this one guy has an actual binder of documentation for every transgression/slight he has had from a certain co-worker over their 20 years working together.
25. Explained, unprompted, to a group of female coworkers that their biological clocks are ticking, and each minute after age 30 is "further wasted opportunity."
26. I worked as a receptionist at a local vet. One day the other receptionist brought in a huge bag of potatoes and started peeling them right there at the desk.
27. I am currently working with a colleague who eavesdrops everyones conversations and will butt in with his 'holier than thou' attitude. His favourite thing to do is listen to your conversation, tell you you're wrong, then (Continued)
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then quickly google the subject, and then read out the wikipedia article to you.
28. About a year back a coworker sent an email to my boss recommending that after 4pm be designated the "quiet hour" because they felt that people were starting to slack off after 4 and that banning talking would increase productivity.
29. There was a woman who kept a notebook at her desk. One of those marble composition ones. She logged every minute, and I do mean EVERY MINUTE, that she couldn't work due to an IT related issue. And to be clear, it's not because she was getting in trouble for underperforming. She just did this.
If there was a server outage or network problem, she logged it. Okay, fine. Annoying but fine. But if she made a mistake or deleted a file or input something incorrectly or locked up her system by doing the one thing we told her not to do on almost a daily basis (queuing multiple requests to an old database that processed them sequentially)? She logged the time she spent experiencing the error and then the time she had to wait for it to be fixed.
We had two techs for a medium sized business. So if she was in a queue for support for half an hour, IT cost her thirty one minutes of productivity that day. She brought this book with her to every review and meeting where her performance was evaluated. As a matter of policy, any and every issue she raised had to be checked with IT to see if we were at fault. Half a year's worth of tickets sometimes. And it would be stupid crap like "I couldn't work for seven minutes because my computer went blank!" "User rested her foot on the surge protector switch."
30. I had a coworker go on a diet where the only thing that mattered was the weight of the food you were eating.
If it was light you could eat as much as you want, heavy, you have to watch.
Therefore a Snickers bar was better than a salad or broccoli. Cotton candy, you could eat as much as you want cause it weighs next to nothing.
31. Every time the boss is gone for the day he puts this one girl in charge and she always asks if she can fire certain people.
It's highly believed that it is important to learn history as a means to improve our future.
What is often overlooked is that what is taught in history class is going to be very different depending on where you went to school.
And this isn't just internationally, even different regions of the United states will likely have very different lessons on American history.
This frequently results in our learning fascinating, heartbreaking and horrifying historical facts which our middle or high school history teachers neglected to teach us.
Redditor Acherontia_atropos91 was curious to learn things people either wished they had learned, or believe they should have learned, in their school history class, leading them to ask:
What isn’t taught in history class but should be?
The Irish Troubles
"The troubles."
"Too many people in America do not understand why a wall straight through Ireland would be a BAD idea."
"I’m referring to the Brexit referendum and possible outcomes."
"If people were wondering why we were talking about walls through Ireland in the first place."- CLCVS.
Forgotten elements of World War II
"What the Japanese did to the Chinese during WW2."
"Unit 731."- CaptainMcBoogerJew.
"Japan gets off easy for their war crimes in WW2."
"They killed an estimated 16mil Chinese civilians and another 8mil soldiers"
"Also, Pol Pot."
"Didn't know who he was until I was like 25."
"Worst dictator all time (in terms of percentage of population he decimated)".
The truth about the American Revolution
"That the American Revolution was part of a wider cold war type of conflict with France."
"The American Revolution was basically the UK's equivalent of the US version of Vietnam."- vinsant7.
The Dark side of Swedish history.
"As a Swede, I'd like to know more of all the horrible sh*t my country has done throughout history."
"It's a damn shame we're trying to hide our history."
"For example, Swedes killed a metric sh*t ton of all Polish people when we were at our strongest."
"That's the kinda sh*t we don't get to learn."- mogwandayy.
Colonization
"Basically what Belgium did to the Congo."
"A lot of people are telling me that they are taught about this actually."
"I'm glad to hear it because I wasn't taught about this in the USA during my public school days (1995-2008)."- EconArch.
The truth about "heroes".
"While teaching about historical Heroes they should also tell students about the unspeakable things some of them did."
"Many famous figures throughout history who are pillars of morality actually did many terrible things." - User Deleted
Intolerance for Mental Illness
"The dark history of mental illness treatments."
"I think it's worth learning about."- 7dayexcerpt.
Slavic Mythology
"Slavic mythology in Slavic countries."
"Don't get me wrong, I love both Greek & Roman mythology and as a person from the Balkans both of those cultures are part of my country's history and had great influence over not only my region but the entirety of the continent & the western world but I wouldn't mind knowing more about Slavic mythology as well."- ShorsShezzarine.
The truth about the CIA
"How the CIA was made and all the shady things they did over the years."- ALargeChip.
There is a lot about the history of our world, not to mention our own country which shouldn't be ignored.
And it's from learning from our mistakes that we really improve our future.
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So apparently we are in the endemic phase of this nonsense.
We have light at the end of the tunnel.
So what now?
Where do we go from here?
Normal seems like an outdated word.
How do we get back to normal though?
Is it even possible?
What are reaching back to?
Life pre-Covid.
Those were the days.
If only we could bring them back.
Redditor hetravelingsong wanted to discuss our new normal in this hopeful "endemic" phase. So they asked:
"What’s something random you miss about pre-COVID times?"
I miss people being sane. Though that maybe election cycle issues not COVID. We'll never know.
I thought I was Alone...
"Being able to grocery shop after 11 pm."
Reading_Rainboner
"Hell yes. I miss the days where the Walmart across the street was open 24 hours."
Small_Tax_9432
let's just go...
"I miss spontaneity... everything now seems to have a barrier of difficulty."
iidosee
"I live very close to Disneyland so I have an annual pass. My friends and I would just go there after work and hang out and grab a bite to eat."
"Now, we have to reserve a day to go. And most of the time, the days are at 'full' capacity so we couldn't even reserve. I don't want to schedule to hang out at Disneyland for a couple hours for July. So yeah, I definitely miss the 'lets go eat at Disneyland tonight?' texts."
mymymissmai
Not til 24-25
"Functioning global supply chains. Ah, the product you want has got microchips in it? 9 month wait."
richard-king
"Minimum, I'd been saying for a while now that I wouldn't expect a true return to normalcy in terms of electronics prices till 2024-2025. Although Crypto crashing through the floor really took some of the pressure off graphics cards which I really appreciate."
statiiic
WTF?!?!
"How affordable everything was!"
Disastrous_Hour_6776
"Yep. Today I was bagging up my things at the grocery store and I heard the cashier say to the lady behind me 'thats $78.12.' She had -- 2 boxes of Kellogg's corn flakes, a carton of 12 eggs, milk, strawberries, raspberries, blue berries, a small cheese cake, English muffins, coffee, and a small whole frozen chicken that could maybe feed 3 people if the meat portioning was small."
SnowyInuk
Sushi
"My favorite sushi place. It was good quality, close by, kid-friendly, and not too expensive."
InannasPocket
All of this... it was a simpler time.
NASTY
"As a retail worker, just how f**king NASTY some people have gotten."
DmitriPetrov*itch
"They applauded you for being an essential worker but won’t vote for policies that’ll raise minimum wage while insisting a wage cap for heavily paid employees."
sketchysketchist
CHANGES your DNA...
"Some of the people closest to me became very bitter and petty over the last 2 years. So many people have the 'crazy eyes' now."
__--__7
"So true and holidays with the family is like who has the biggest tinfoil hat building contest. How many jumps does your brain have to go through to think that the Covid vaccine CHANGES your DNA into the patented DNA so that the government now controls your body."
"So like vaccinated people now have a singular DNA set. I feel like I still have a chunk of my brain just broken off due to that comment alone. I was also told by same family member that I could never donate blood again due to the vaccine. I guess it is so my patented DNA doesn't affect people?? FYI my vaccinated butt just donated today fine and multiple other times after the vaccine."
tyreka13
Homeward Bound
"House prices."
adrianinked
"I'm resigned to never thinking I have a chance on owning property where I live. I'm 30 and just can't imagine it anymore. And I don't want to live anywhere else so, whatever."
Osdab2daf
"That didn’t happen because of the pandemic. That was already happening regardless."
CH11DW
Oh Mickey
"All Day Breakfast at McDonalds."
hutch2522
"It was honestly hell to do, and not very popular. ITs margins aren't anywhere dinner and lunch specials. ON top of that, the temperatures are such that They require its own grill, meaning that if you have 2 grills in shop, you are down 50% of lunch capacity."
Freyas_Follower
Way back when...
"Hanging out with friends. And I mean waaaaaay before Covid. Like 2006 back when I had some friends."
LoocsinatasYT
I miss the old days. Maybe we'll get back there.
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What do you believe?
Is there a GOD in the sky?
Is he guiding us and helping us?
Life is really hard. Why is that is a big entity is up there loving us?
Atheists have taken a lot of heat for what feels like shunning GOD.
What if they've been right all along?
Maybe let's take a listen and see what they really think.
Redditor __Jacob______ wanted to hear from the people who don't really believe all that "God" stuff. They asked:
"Atheists, what do you believe in?"
I'm waffling between G-O-D and nothing. So please give me some education.
911
"We need to look out for each other because help isn't coming."
cknipe
Peace Out
"More than 2 decades ago, a priest was giving a sermon in my church and he said 'our faith requires you to believe without question. Why call it faith if you have to ask questions?' I haven't returned to church. Not until my wedding day but you know what I mean."
asiangontear
Delusion
"When I was young I used to think that after death you would have access to a PC that you could see absolutely anything about your life. Stats, any question you had no matter how obscure, replays of moments, perspectives of others in relation to you. No matter what you wanted to know, if it was relatable to you, you could see it. I know it's silly, but as time goes on I just want it to be real, and I don't think I'd have any issue allowing myself to fall into that delusion."
eggwardpenisglands
I think nothing happens...
"Realistically, I think nothing happens. We literally experience nothing after death. Same thing that we experience before birth. We don't exist, so it's nothing. I think the tenant that we should follow while living is to try to be happy and healthy while minimizing the damage we do to each other."
"What I would LIKE to happen after death is whatever you believe in, exists. I think Christians should get to go to heaven if they truly believe in it, Hindus and Buddhists get reincarnated, and everyone else also gets to experience what they believe they will experience."
"'I would still experience Nothing. Maybe it's one of those things where at the moment of death their brain makes them experience what feels like an infinitely long moment in time where they experience their afterlife. I just think it would be neat for everybody."
Better_Meat_
Shrug
"Best advice I received from a dear senior on their way out. 'You win some, you lose some' shrug. Nothing divine, life is that simple and wonderful, accept it and move on."
Tune_Kindly
It all sounds pretty simple. Why are people so up in arms about Atheists?
Whatever
"I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do."
imCIK
Cool with Empty
"Nothing. [Serious]."
rumblingtummy29
"I feel this way about death. When I was 5, my grandfather died and my cousin simple said, he is dead, that means you are gone forever. Everything ends up dying, even plants and animals. I'm now in my 40's and still have this simplistic view of life and death. People think I'm ambivalent to life and death but it's just what it is."
thepigfish82
puppet-masters...
"I think a lot of religious people struggle with the fact that we are all just swirling units of chaos. There is no grand plan or great orchestrator. I think that’s why people who are prone to religion are also susceptible to things like Q anon and the Cabal and all that. They REALLY want to believe that there is some almighty puppet-master who determines all of humanity’s fate."
Lngtmelrker
“we’re living in a society!”
"Just be a kind and empathetic person not because you’re worried about some cosmic justice, but because it’s the right thing to do. If there is some being that created us there’s no way they actually care about believing in it or adhering to some rules from over 2000 years ago."
"Also a big thing for me is that I find the idea that you need religion or the Bible in order to have morals and ethics pretty dumb. It’s pretty f**king clear that most evangelicals have neither. But my main thing is being a good person simply because, as George Costanza once said we’re living in a society!' If you’re only a good person in order to make it to heaven you probably aren’t actually a good and moral person."
conservative_genius
That's All
"You're born. You live. You die. That's it. After you die you cease to exist, the same as before you were born."
serefina
Believe what you want. We're all here together. So let's focus there.
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The list of what irritates me is endless.
I mean... breathing too loud or dust can set me off.
I'm a bit unstable, yes.
But I'm not alone.
So let's discuss.
Redditor Aburntbagel6 wanted to hear about all the times many of us just couldn't control our disdain. They asked:
"What never fails to piss you off?"
I feel like this article can go on forever. Let's get some highlights.
Wasted Time
"Meetings that could and should have been an email."
Sirena609
Lotto People
"Getting stuck behind people playing the lottery at a corner store."
thenuggetlover
"I also used to work in a gas station and you’re SO right. I f**king hated the lottery people. Especially since my store had a small staff and there was usually only one of us working at a time, which meant that I couldn’t get any of my other work done as long as they were there."
"And you’re right, it’s also pretty sad to watch. I had one lady who used to come in every day and spent hundreds and HUNDREDS of dollars on scratch tickets. One day, she won $200 after spending probably around $600 and she was so excited and saying she can 'finally pay her bills.'"
i-am-your-god-now
Aware...
"No situational awareness. Job, home, shopping, driving. Think for one minute and go about. OBSERVE!!"
Dizzy-Foundation8122
"My mom is one of those people who leave the shopping cart in the middle of the damn aisle and proceed to walk twenty feet away. After correcting her a million times to no effect I just walk away now so people don’t know I’m with her."
OutrageousEvent
Shut Up!
"Endless barking in the middle of the night, I love animals but that sh*t I can't stand."
Acceptable-Lemon2924
"Endless barking in general drives me up a wall. One of my friends dogs was barking almost an entire gaming session the other day. I wanted to reach through the computer and smack him for letting it go on."
bangersnmash13
Kindness
"People being mean to service workers, especially if the workers are very young."'
scaryboilednoodles
All of these things. I hate them all.
Admit It
"People who never accept fault when they mess something up. Like, why blame a million people when it was clearly you who did it???"
Quirky-Area-8978
From Above
"My upstairs neighbors."
lutzow89
"I had terrible neighbors at my previous apartment. It was a one person studio for students, but her boyfriend was clearly living with her illegally and he was loud."
"One night we knocked n the door at 3 AM because of the loud music and an unknown girl opened the door. I just thought they were having a little party. But the next door I saw the girl living there come home with a suitcase after having been away for the weekend... Her BF was cheating on her in her own apartment."
Th3_Accountant
Move Away
"People who sit directly next to me at the airport, movie theater, any other place where you can choose a seat when there is PLENTY of other seating."
BacardiPardy33
"I can’t YES this enough and the ones who can’t park for crap so they park so close you can’t open doors on one side of the car or the ones who park directly behind when you pulled through so the door won’t open to load groceries."
BacardiPardy33
It's Over
"People who try to restart old drama. Like I'm done with you, just leave me alone."
Tired_Potatos
"Yep, half the reason I've basically quit playing one of my favorite online video games. People keep bringing old crap up or sh*tting on on someone who used to be our friend. I got tired of it so I just ejected the game out of me."
CaucasianHumus
AHHHHH!!!
"People walking too slow in front of me with no way to get around them. It’s even worse if it’s a couple or group taking up the whole sidewalk. HAVE SOME SPATIAL AWARENESS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!"
_-v0x-_
Life in general pisses me off. I'm easy.
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