Embarrassed People Share Their 'He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He' Stories[rebelmouse-image 18348562 is_animated_gif=
Being aware of your surroundings is important, especially if you live in a big city. A stray delivery bike or a disturbed pigeon can run into you and knock you on your keister, and no one wants that. However, social interactions also call for an awareness of who's around you and what kind of story you're telling. Otherwise, you're caught in one of those moments you wish you could escape but never do.
Reddit user, r/AmAllergicToGold, wanted to know your most socially awkward moments when they asked:
What's your "he's right behind me, isn't he?" story?
Silent, But Deadly[rebelmouse-image 18348563 is_animated_gif=
My grandfather has the ability to walk silently like can creep on you like no other. Additionally, he doesn't speak English and I don't speak Spanish. So, to show his love, he generally just walks over, taps you on the shoulder, "ah, my boy"
This particular time, It was me and all my siblings playing some video game. I was inches from the tv as we were playing if you die its the next person's turn. Grandpa sneaks right up on me. His hand inches from my shoulder. I just drop a bomb and rip on the loudest farts I've had to date. A lot of cheetos and dr pepper in those days.
He pauses, removes his hand and stealth walks away. I didn't even know that happened until he left and all my siblings burst into laughter.
Maybe Buy The Censored Version From Now On[rebelmouse-image 18348564 is_animated_gif=
I'm a computer tech. At my old job, all of the techs sat in this one room with our own desks, to work on computers. My friend Caleb and I were working on a machine together. We had music playing (Bonfire by Childish Gambino). The lyrics were "Move white girls like there's coke up my a--crack Move black girls cause, man"
The big boss for the whole department happened to be behind us.
Please Move[rebelmouse-image 18348566 is_animated_gif=
Talking to my friend about the hot TA in a tutorial and giggling like teenagers.
Obviously he was right behind us and to our embarrassment he asked my friend to move to another table.
Mommy Talks, Player Walks[rebelmouse-image 18348567 is_animated_gif=
This is a "he's sitting right beside me" story.
There was this kid on my high school baseball team that was incredibly annoying. He always complained about everything, his mom talked to the coach too often about getting more playing time. He just wasn't a good athlete. Well, one day my teammates and I were all sitting on the bench in the dugout and the kid was walking over to sit down on the bench next to us. Something happened, I got distracted (foul ball or something), and I lost sight of the annoying kid. I leaned over to who I thought was my friend and said "Don't let (his name) sit next to us." Turns out my friend was sitting on the opposite side of me and I had just said that directly to his face.
He got pissed, said "REALLY?!", got up and walked away.
I don't feel bad about it at all. He was obnoxious.
The Ugliest Fight[rebelmouse-image 18348568 is_animated_gif=
When I was in college I was cooking in the dorm kitchen with a friend. He asked if I was going to be living with the same person next year. My response was, "Oh god no. She's terrible. All she does all day is sit in the dark watching CMT with her crazy racist boyfriend. I can't wait to never see her again."
She had been standing on the other side of the wall (probably spying on me because she did that sometimes) and heard the entire conversation.
We had a really ugly fight after that.
Ready, Friend B?[rebelmouse-image 18348569 is_animated_gif=
At bar trivia one night, two of my friends got into a heated debate over Ready Player One, my female friend said it was Gary Stu wish fulfillment garbage with little to no literary merit. My male friend, who is a huge dork in his mid 20s and has a degree in English, was arguing the other side. After we left, I said to a third friend "I love Friend B, but I think he may be a little biased because he's the target demographic of the book." He was standing directly behind me.
I also know he has a Reddit account, so he may end up right behind me again on this one, lol.
Trapped Between A Rock And A Hard Place[rebelmouse-image 18348570 is_animated_gif=
I have one. Our production manager was quitting (given her 2 weeks notice) and was seriously going off about the owner of the company.
Me and one other girl were in the printer room while said project manager was training us on some new machinery. She just went off about how "insert owner" was a selfish ahole and how he cares about no one but himself and that he is the reason she is leaving. She lists off every variation of insults pertaining to him while we stand there awkwardly. I glance back and guess who is standing directly behind me. Yep...the owner
Funny thing is, he is actually really nice and I have no idea why she hated him so much. That episode was never brought up again. But I'll be damned if I wasn't sweating bullets. What an awkward position to put your staff in.
But It Wasn't About YOUR Service[rebelmouse-image 18348571 is_animated_gif=
It usually comes up when I am at a restaurant and I feel like the service is pretty awesome. Then I share with my friend a time when it was awful somewhere else only for the server to show up at some perfect time where it probably sounds like I am b--ching about them.
I want to burst out with "I'm not talking about you!" because I'm not talking about them. At the same time I don't because chances are they didn't hear sh-t.
I usually end up leaving a bigger tip than normal out of embarrassment.
You Might Be A...[rebelmouse-image 18348573 is_animated_gif=
I was at a water park with some friends, and I saw this guy with the word "REDNECK" tattooed across his back, I started making snide comments about him. Later on in the day I said to my friends "hey maybe I should get 'HUGE IDIOT' tattooed across my back like that one idiot we saw earlier, I mean seriously who gets 'REDN-" I got cutoff by someone tapping my shoulder. I turn around and it's the guy with the redneck tattoo, let me tell you I've never been more scared of getting my ass kicked than I was right at that second.
I'm not sure if he knew I was talking about him or not but all he did was to ask me what time it was (I had a watch on) and then he walked away. I learned my lesson about talking crap about people I don't know.
When The Whole Class Gets Involved...[rebelmouse-image 18348574 is_animated_gif=
We had an important presentation in design school, it was worth a large part of our grade. This one was important enough that some dressed up and brought guests. We had almost the entire same classes for two years with the same members. There were three guys who's work was not on pace with the class. While we would point out strengths and weaknesses, it was best to try to make positive comments. One guy presented a turd that he'd pulled out of his ass just the night before. It was a point of sale display for a spiderman comic book, but it was obviously a used pizza box, spray painted gold, with sharpy spiderwebs. He then tried to distract by showing off the book and geeking out on spiderman.
After class several of us were gathered discussing it. One guy brought up how Ace had really sh-t the bed and how if he had turned in something so bad he would show his face again. Room freezes as we point out that the guy was back to back with Ace. They were so close that their chairs were touching. Our group goes silent as does his table. There is a long moment where there is a huge tense silence. Another guy at our table had brought his girlfriend pipes up,"What? What? What? Why isn't anyone saying anything? Are you talking about Spiderman guy? The one with pizza on the inside of his thing and had all those bad drawings?" She then started quoting him and doing an impression. When I tried to quiet her down she wasn't having it, even though she figured out he was inches away.
Eventually a conversation started and people tried to move on. Then Ace gets up red face, obvious that he was trying not to cry and heads out of the room.
Wonder What The Pattern Was...[rebelmouse-image 18348575 is_animated_gif=
I was the guy who was right behind.
I used to teach 8th grade and it was cold in the mornings so I wore a thick sweater. I thought it was a nice sweater.
One morning way before class, I walked into the Library, said hi to Emily (one of my students) and her friend as we walked by each other. I passed them and immediately turned around because I forgot something.
I plainly heard Emily say, "See! THATS the ugly sweater." When they turned around to see me.... I was right behind them. They shrieked and took off running!
Later, Emily apologized - but I never wore that sweater again to school and a couple years later I dropped it off at a GoodWill.
Might Pick Better Adjectives[rebelmouse-image 18348576 is_animated_gif=
Working at our office. Head out to the warehouse and start talking to coworker. We have two Nick's who work for the company. Mostly they go by and answer to "Warehouse Nick" and "Office Nick". Me and this particular coworker occasionally refer to them based on their relative size...
I don't remember the question, but my response was "I think Nick went to go get them." He asked, "Skinny Nick?" I replied without thinking. "No, Fat Nick."
He had just walked in the warehouse behind me. Luckily he laughed it off and didn't call HR.
The Call Is Coming From Inside The House[rebelmouse-image 18348577 is_animated_gif=
This one happened when I was a child, and it still makes me cringe to think about:
My younger brother and I used to have a sitter stay with us from the time we got home from school until our parents got home, as both parents worked. For some reason, brother and I really did not care for this woman. Looking back, there was nothing wrong with her, but I think we were both getting to that "we're too old for a sitter" age, so no matter WHO it was, we would have had an issue.
One afternoon we were being sh-ts, and she punished us- probably the go-to-your-room variety. I picked up one of the house phones, and my brother and I called my dad at work to complain about the sitter. We held nothing back, saying things about how we hated her, she was fat, smelled bad, mean, etc. Just total ahole kid stuff.
The worst moment was realizing that she had picked up another phone in the house and heard the entire thing. In her defense, I think she was making sure we weren't calling anyone we shoudn't.... aka doing her job as a babysitter.
That day, we got to see a grown woman cry. I have never wished so much that I could take words back, and this still haunts me 20+ years later. Ms. Rhonda, wherever you are, I'm so, so sorry.
Crazy Jam[rebelmouse-image 18348579 is_animated_gif=
Back in senior year of high school, me and some friends coaxed the administration into letting us do a "music independent study," which was basically code for letting us jam out on guitars for 35 minutes a day. Our music teacher was pissed but couldn't do anything about it. One day he was late so we started playing these African-looking drums in the music room. I started dancing like a maniac as the drums got louder and louder. Suddenly the music stops---but I keep dancing (you know, like a jackass) and everybody's face goes white. After about a minute and a half I finally turn around to see Mr. Grimsby glaring at all of us.
I'll Sue You[rebelmouse-image 18345747 is_animated_gif=
I was doing an impression of a teacher that had a history of suing students who made jokes of fun. so there I was doing this highly exagerated impression about how I'd sue all my friends when they looked behind me and I knew what it meant.
I looked back, the teacher stopped on his way, looked straight in my eyes, then turned back and left. I was like "he went to call his lawyers, I'm screwed lol"
Back Of The Line![rebelmouse-image 18348580 is_animated_gif=
I told a guy off while at self checkout because he came up to the podium wanting to be checked out and I told him that wasn't fair for everyone else who had waited in line and was doing it himself, and the minute he walks away I have this feeling of dread and sure enough one of the biggest kiss ass supervisors walks up from behind me, because he was standing there the whole time. I get immedietely pulled into the office to be told by all the supervisors and managers on the front end that I shouldn't talk to customers that way.
This was at a store that is known for being a mart with wals.
What A Weirdo[rebelmouse-image 18348581 is_animated_gif=
Ugh I still cringe when I think about this story.
When I was about 11, my whole family took a trip to Nevada. My parents, siblings, grandparents and all of my cousins/aunts/uncles.
I have a cousin, Jake, who was very strange when he was younger. Looking back on it, I'm not even certain that I thought he was strange or if I was influenced by the older members of my family that said he was.
We were in our rental car, waiting to go to the Hoover Dam. I blurted out, "Jake Jr. is kind of strange, isn't he?", probably in an attempt to seem grown up in front of everyone. Everyone's face went white, Jake Jr was in the car with us all the way in the back but I had forgotten. I looked back to see my grandmother just stroking his head while he lay in her lap.
My face burned tomato red. This is my first distinct memory of shame and embarrassment. When I look back on that, I hope that he didn't hear me or maybe that he was too young to even realize. It makes my stomach drop to think that maybe he remembers and thinks that I think he is weird. At 21, and him at 16, it makes me wonder if the reason I never hear from him is that.
I'm sorry, Jake. I was a brat and so were the family members that thought you were weird.
Awkward 101[rebelmouse-image 18348582 is_animated_gif=
My younger sister and I were in the same chemistry class in high school (long story), but she didn't particularly get along with our teacher. At one point in class she said something to that effect out loud and didn't realize he was only a few feet away. I said, "Say it a little louder, why don't you?!" (In a tone that said to shut the hell up.) And he responded, "Yeah, say it a little louder."
She dropped the class that week.
The Family You Don't Choose[rebelmouse-image 18348583 is_animated_gif=
My brother's girlfriend drove me and all my friends crazy. She was just generally rude, talked over other people constantly, had really bad ideas about everything etc.
One night we BBQed with my brother, his GF and a bunch of my friends. The night wound down and my brother and his girlfriend left and me and my friends went inside to play some games and end the night. At this point we're all standing around venting about my brother's GF, talking about how horrible and obnoxious she is, etc.
I then turn around and she's in the apartment. I have no idea how this happened as the door we came in locks automatically and she didn't come in the front door. I am guessing it just didn't close all the way. It turns out she forgot something.
To this day I don't know what if anything she heard but I can not imagine she wouldn't have heard us. My only hope is that she didn't know we were talking about her specifically.
I felt really bad about this, and still do to this day. She's now my brother's life and I actually like her more now. It took that situation for me to reflect on how sh-tty it is to trash talk someone like that.
Cool Professor[rebelmouse-image 18348585 is_animated_gif=
Yesterday. Show up to my Shakespeare class early and decide to sit on the Professors desk up front, lean back on my elbow almost laying on the table. Start Shooting the sh-t with my classmates and some one asks "does anyone know what we're doing today?" And I reply "I don't know I'm just here for the attendance grade." Everyone laughs and suddenly stops. I turn around and see the professor at the door. I was mortified but she laughed and I know we're cool because I participate in class.
Still, that moment was awful.
Sometimes the little things we take for granted are the very things that people from other places wish they had access to. Let’s face it, as far as consumerism Americans are pretty spoiled for choice in what they can do or get ahold of.
Do you want biscuits covered in gravy and a bacon donut on the side at 4am? American diners have you covered. Want to spend $3 on a street hotdog vendor and take a gamble? That’s your right. Even creature comforts like having air conditioning being mainstream is different than most other countries.
When it boils down to it people love the convenience, and if there’s one thing America has become good at, it is providing that to anyone willing to shell out the money for it.
Jimlobster wanted to know what common items or trends in the United States others wished would come to their home country. They asked:
“Non-Americans of Reddit, what is popular in the US that you wish was more popular where you live?”
“I'm from Brazil: Kitchen with island, sinkhole with the garbage disposal, air conditioner everywhere in the house.”
“EDIT: I'm talking about the kitchen sinkhole that you can throw food there without clog the plumbing, in Brazil all the food remainings you have to throw in a bin. It's garbage disposal what I meant, I made a search and made a new edit.” raicorreia
The joy of getting 2am diner food after a night out…Food Eating GIF by Moosh & TwistGiphy
“24/7 diners, I don't know if they actually exist but they sound awesome.” turngre3n
Having a good hot soak…
“Bathtubs apparently. I see them in so many tv shows. Even characters who supposedly aren't well off have a big bathtub in their bathroom.”
“I have not even seen one in real life. I thought maybe some hotels in my country would have them but nope. (Though to be fair I've never stayed in a 5 star or something). Just want to experience bathing in a bathtub once to see what all the fuss is about” vpsj
A good oil’ greasy American breakfast.
“Of what I've seen you guys have breakfast places everywhere and they have a wide selection of stuff like pancakes and donuts, it's not healthy but it sounds great. Most we get in the UK are small cafés or Mcdonalds.” FunniBoii
We add bacon to everything…
“When I moved to the Northwest, all my european friends swore up and down that American desserts and pastries were inferior, that I would have to get sweets imported, and I would miss all the nice bakeries, etc.”
“Immediately when I got here, I was offered a "maple bar with bacon and nuts", and I can never go back. America's pastry game goes hard. I've never had donuts as fluffy and flavorful. 10/10, would recommend.” SentretSparkleypants
Movie theater food…
“A theatre where they serve you actual food (like pizza, not popcorn) inside the theatre, while sitting on a spacious reclining chair with a little mini table. Best experience watching a movie I've ever had and wish it was in my country (Kenya).” Odd_Inflation178
We are spoiled for cereal variety…
“Cereal! We don't have ANY good breakfast cereal in Nepal 😭 Only DUMB Kelloggs cornflakes and chocos. I want those sweet honey nut cheerios, colorful fruit loops, them flavorful cinnamon toast crunch, those amazing looking frosted mini-wheats. Just give us some variety!!” June_53
Accessible street food…
“Street food that doesn't cost ££££. I hate the fact that in the U.K. (esp. London/Birmingham etc.) 99% of street food is deemed to be as pretentious as possible. Just because food is inevitably sprinkled with Parmesan/Truffle Oil/Whatever DOES NOT MEAN its allowed to be charged as much as it is inside a restaurant.”
“No, I don't want a eat a 'secret spices' beef rib from a cardboard box with rosemary salted French fries for £14 in the rain. I'd much rather have a half-decent burrito for £4/5, thanks.” notprotonated
Thift shopping!Thrift Shop Television GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
“Thrifting, where I live the second hand shop are so rare and it takes hours to get there. Also big mall were there are 20 and more shops, near me(and with near I mean that I have to drive for 1 hour) there is only one, and they only make this kind of malls in the opposite side of my city because the center is untouchable.” Eastern-Honeydew-471
“Mexican food and restaurants. I live in a german town with around 20k people. We have 15 italian (though at least two of them only do delivery), 5 greek, 1 vietnamese, 1 chinese and 5 german restaurants. 4 turkish Döner Kebap stores and 2 greek Pytta Gyros ones, one McD and a Subway.”
“And a load of cafes and sit-down bakeries. Within a 25km radius there is just one mexican 'restaurant'. Which is basically a (fancy and quite expensive) bar that offers a very limited menu with mexican foods and one american Burger-restaurant that has some mexican stuff on its menu every once in a while, but not always.” quietschedalek
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Dream of the sea of lights, of the opportunities, the nightlife, and all of the things you've been dreaming of living in your adult life since you were a kid. Being in a city as an adult can afford you those opportunities.
But oftentimes the city will just afford you more expensive housing with no real way to keep up your standard and quality of life. Unless you make major budget cuts, you might often find yourself at odds with your own city, and growing to dislike it.
Sound familiar to anyone?
It certainly did to Redditor lookinsidemybrain1, who wanted to know:
"What city is overrated?"
Here were some of those answers.
"My best friend is from Philly, I'm from outside of Boston. We both met in Florida when we were teens and bonded over being the only two people who were hockey fans in the mid 80s."
"In 2010 we had a bet for the Flyers/Bruins series. Loser would have to pay for a trip to the winner's city to watch a game in their barn."
"Obviously the Bruins choked away that 3-0 lead and lost the series. So I had to pony up for the trip. My boy tells me he'd rather go to Boston and catch a game there and see the city."
"I said ok but the bet was going to the winner's city and I've never been to Philly. He says 'You don't want to go to Philly, it sucks...even I don't want to go there.' So we went to Boston and had a great time."-sebrebc
The Capital In A Few Ways
"I used to work an ambulance in Jackson, Mississippi. That city is not circling the drain. The water has drained and Jackson is stuck to the tub."
"It is a never ending cycle of poverty, corrupt city officials, fleeing businesses, and crime. Every city administration does nothing but pass blame."
"Some of the most atrocious things I have seen happened in Jackson MS, not 20 miles from my home, and I was in Afghanistan. Every shift was a shooting, an assault, an overdose, a fire standby, homeless and mental health calls."
"Many of the citizens live in absolute squalor. No businesses near them, no grocery stores, no opportunity. They can't afford cars and the public transit it is practically non-existent. You truly do not understand what poverty is until you see it."-[username deleted]
Rio De Goodbye
"Even us Brazilians don't consider going to Rio de Janeiro a good idea, unless you're sure that you know what you're doing (like going to the beaches outside of town)."
"In Brazil, the best places to visit are small towns. Big cities have crime and violence, and it's not safe to just hang around with expensive electronics."
"Brazil has thousands of small paradise places, either beaches, mountains, jungles or whatever. See, for example, Maragogi. Small towns are mostly safe, and 80% of Brazil's cities have less than 20,000 people."
"Hope you have a better experience in the next time."-rubenssm
See any place on this list you're now making a mental note to avoid?
Because Of The Car Industry, Margot
"San Jose. People come here thinking it's the silicon valley expecting to see all kinds of cool advanced stuff but it's just an urban sprawl."
"I know someone who came here from Shanghai and wanted to travel to San Francisco. She asked me why we don't have high speed bullet trains that will take us to the city in like 15 mins. I didn't know what to say."-Live_Mathematician99
"I live in L.A., and every time someone comes out to visit, they want to go to Hollywood to see the touristy stuff. I don't mind indulging them, but a a huge fan of movies and old Hollywood, etc., the real thing is insanely disappointing."
"It's filthy, crowded, smelly, and chock full of shysters and violent homeless people. I totally get going for the sake of going if you're visiting the area, but there are two things you should never do: wander off the main streets or hang around late at night."
"There are a lot of crazies down there who get stabby when the sun goes down."-WickedHello
"Dubai. What most people don't see is the fact that the majority of the city are slums where people don't even have running water."
"I remember visiting my cousin who lived there and while we were at the beach, whole families would use the showers there because they didn't have their own."-Flaky_Sandwich9353
"A photo that is still vividly in my mind is of Dubai. It shows the city boarder and how there are shacks literally on the other side."
"It's insane that UAE is one of the richest counties in the world but a large chunk of their people live in poverty to the extent that their homes do not have walls and ceilings."-CaptainF*ckAll
Let's Run Away....
"Atlantic City: A poor city with a poor population and all of its wealth coming from casinos, and casinos are depressing."-Topazz410
"I had to scroll way too far to see this. I don’t gamble so the casinos weren’t very exciting for me. The beach was pay to play and just a strip of sand with cold brown water."
"The boardwalk was good except it was the same exact merchandise in every 5th shop. We found one good restaurant and ate there daily. Left 2 days before our booking ended."-If_you_ban_me_I_win
And do you see any plans that you had on the back burner now fully making their way up?
The City Of Blues
"I've got such a great Memphis story. I've literally only been there once in my life and only for a couple of hours (aside from driving through it)."
"Over Christmas break 2004, I drove from east Tennessee to Abilene, TX to visit my sister. I drove back on New Year's Eve and at about 2:00am I got to Memphis."
"I decided I wanted to see the Mississippi River as I'd never been there before, so I pulled off the interstate and went to this very closed visitor's center on the river downtown. It's Tennessee, but it's still December, and it's cold. Maybe 40 outside."
"After using the bathroom, I walked down this path outside the visitors center that led along the river. I get maybe 100 yards down this not-illuminated path (again at 2:00am in downtown Memphis) and I notice there are these stairs that lead down toward the river. Awesome, I can see it up close! The stairs end at a tiny bank of dirt and then boom, there's the river."
"I start down these stairs and immediately realize, these are not like 'visitors, give these stairs a try' stairs. They are like 'these have been here for eight years and haven't been maintained in that time' stairs. I get about four stairs down and one of them gives way."
"In a split second, I am now sliding rapidly toward the Mississippi River in 40 degree weather with my flip phone in my pocket and absolutely no person who knows I am here and doing this. I make a mad scramble for anything I can reach for and by whatever providence, I grab a tree limb and stop the slide."
"I was able to get to my feet and realize that my shoes are wet. I was that close to ending up floating away down the Mississippi, probably drowning or freezing to death in the process. I can swim but come on."
"I regained my composure, crawled my way very, very slowly back up the bank, and got back in my car. That was arguably one of the dumbest things I've ever done in my life."-baltinerdist
A Piece Of Da Pisa
"I'm italian. I was planning a trip from the south to the north of Italy to take my car from my hometown to the city where I work, I was asking for advice about the cities to stop in for example Naples, Rome, Bologna, beautiful cities with many things to do and see."
"What about Pisa? Every single person I asked about told me to forget it. It is literally a hole with a crooked tower."
"'You look at it, take your picture and go away, but it's not worth the extra kilometers you would take for that detour.'"-FunnyPromise
No Infrastructure...Yeah, Im Good
"I think of all major American cities Los Angeles is the most overrated. It’s a cool place if you know someone who can show you around all the unique off the beaten path spots."
"But as a wandering, casual tourist who doesn’t have anyone in town you will spend a lot of time in traffic going to OK attractions."
"You're better off going to other California cities or visiting the beautiful nature the state has to offer then go to LA."-Amockdfw89
When looking for a place to live in this next stage of your life...buyer, beware. A city is only as good as it wants to be--so heed the warnings of others who have come before you.
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Have you ever wondered what job people would pick if they knew they'd be financially stable?
Not rich; we're not talking "retire-in-luxury to Buenos Aires" level coin; just comfortable and with growth potential if you're smart about things.
If any job in the world put you at the precipice of stability - what would you *choose* to do?
Reddit user "talldmbfan" asked:
"If you got to pick any career/job and earned $400,000 no matter what, what career/job would you pick?"
Ya know ... a $400k salary sounds like it could be a few smart money choices away from the very serious business of picking just the right pun for my new boat's name or whatever it is rich people do with their time. So let's start there.
What WOULD Reddit do for work if people actually got to choose? Let's find out.
Ranger DangerNational Park California GIF by Ovation TVGiphy
"Park ranger. Specifically at Banff National Park."
"Yeah, I was thinking the same. However, it’s becoming an increasingly dangerous job these days I have heard."
"One the one hand maybe it's just misbehaved tourists who are becoming increasingly obnoxious, and on the other hand hardened, armed criminals trying to do their business in private."
"Criminals like hiding in National Parks, feeding themselves by spotlighting game (whatever they can shoot they will shoot) and using gill nets to catch dozens and dozens of fish."
"Each ranger has a LOT of area to keep under control, it’s not unheard of to pull over a truck and 5+ guys come out, fully armed and it’s just you by yourself until backup arrives."
"Former Ranger here. The job and positions of a Park Ranger vary widely."
"It does have its perks and I really liked it, but it also sucks in ways and has big drawbacks. Humans are the worst animal to have to manage."
Effort And Criticismsacha baron cohen hotel GIFGiphy
"USD 400,000 per year, right? I’d say be a hotel / resort critic."
"That way I get to travel, stay comfortably & get paid for a rather (seemingly) low effort gig."
"I've been in travel positions before, it's pretty fun for a bit but as 'spoiled' as it sounds, hotel and restaurant living get tiring after a while."
"Sometimes it's better to just come home to your loved ones or pet or whatever."
"I did that while I was single. I don't have kids, but I can't imagine being in that type of role when you do."
"Being away from them plus putting the entire burden of raising children on your spouse? Not for me."
"I met a girl several months ago who is a travel journalist and gets paid to do this very thing!"
"While I do get envious of all her comped trips (since I met her several months ago she’s been on fully paid trips to Oaxaca, Curaçao, a couple of luxury Caribbean cruises and had to turn down a trip to the German Christmas markets) I get the impression her job is a lot more stressful than we’d all imagine."
"She says pretty much every minute of each trip is filled with activities she’s expected to write about with very little down time."
"She’s lived all over the world with her job but also never really put down any roots, so that’s a downside. Even so - I enjoy living vicariously through her travels!"
Let's Go LegoAwesome The Lego Movie GIF by TrolliGiphy
"Lego set designer"
"A LEGOland near me just posted a position for a master builder and i was like 'f*ck yeah!' ..."
"except that it pays $12/hour."
"Yeees! This has been my dream job since I was a kid. Only reason I’ve never pursued it is because it doesnt pay well."
"I didn’t even think of that!"
"My cousin and I love legos soooo much, I have that Disney castle set and we are constantly making the most random things. If I became the top set designer, there would be a lot more weird sets lol"
Helping Hoarderskhj GIFGiphy
"The same business I have now. I help the elderly and hoarders organize their homes. I quite a job that payed well and to do this and it is so rewarding."
"A simple tip: To maintain control over a hobby/collectables, designate a space for it. If it overflows that space, it is time to rethink the activity."
"It may mean finding a bigger space, or looking for outdated or unused items for that hobby. This helps to maintain control and keep the hobby from taking over."
"This one sparks joy!"
"I’d love to know more about this. I worry I’m a hoarder sometimes."
"I am not a psychologist so please take this with a grain of salt, but from my experience the term hoarder is often misused. Hopefully this will be helpful to you!"
"I have helped people who have ranged from perfectly normal to people with head trauma. Yes, they can all be categorized as different levels of hoarding, but I try and focus on the reason why they hoard, rather than the term itself."
"Customer 1: was a lady whose house was just a mess. Not disgusting, just nothing was organized. She had a lot going on and was feeling very overwhelmed and her place was taking a turn for the worst."
"She was a bit ashamed and kept indicating how she was a hoarder."
"In the end, over several sessions we cleared out the garage, the living room, the bedrooms, the dining room and never once did she hesitate to throw something away. She wasn't a hoarder, she was overwhelmed. So this was solely situational."
"Customer 2: Another lady, good friend of mine too, very much fit the typical hoarding situation. In her case she was just really bad at putting things away and thus everything ended up, everywhere."
"She still has this problem, but as long as I come over from time to time, stuff gets put away. She has been really good at throwing away or donating items, but she needs someone to sit down with her to help motivate her."
"Customer 3: A gentleman who was my inspiration to get into this business is probably the closest to the true nature of a hoarder."
"He received a blow to the head many years ago due to an accident. Because of that he has had difficulty staying on track. He looses focus frequently and thus things fall to the wayside."
"I go over from time to time to help him clean up. I will make him return stuff he buys when he really does not need it, because he easily becomes distracted. He forgets to return it or that he even bought it."
"I can get him to get rid of stuff, it just takes a good deal of prodding and coaxing."
"In the end, With all my customers I tell them to stop focusing on the negative. Don't worry if your a hoarder, rather spend that mental energy on what you can do to move forward."
"Tip: if you need an idea for a first step, Listen to a podcast or you tube video on organizing."
A Place For PassionNervous Season 6 GIF by Paramount+Giphy
"I’d want to own studio space where people could take classes, not just art or dancing but also like general hobbies to knitting, sculpting, writing, photography."
"I want to help people find a passion and explore it. And I’d be able to support others by paying them to teach their own passion."
"Look into maker spaces or hacker spaces. That literally exactly what they are!"
"I've seen them have facilities and classes ranging from running a cnc machine to beer brewing to programming."
"Membership is typically expensive (50-200 a month) but most give discounts or free membership for teaching classes.
Keep in mind I don't know if they are running with covid."
"There's a place near me called Handmade Toledo that does this!"
"The front of the building is a storefront where local artists, makers, and crafters can sell their stuff (anything from t-shirts and cards to candles and soaps, including snarky greeting cards and patches)."
"The back of the building is an events space where they have classes a few times a week, and a big event once or twice a year where more artisans come and sell their stuff."
Dungeons, Dragons, And Daycare?how to train your dragon smile GIFGiphy
"I would run Dungeons and Dragons campaigns for k-6 graders to teach them about problem solving and conflict negotiation."
"I use D&D to teach conversation strategies and cross-cultural communication to Japanese university students and it’s f*cking great."
"I think every pre-school/lower school should hire you, this is a fantastic idea to implement those values while having fun!"
"One of our friends runs dnd campaigns for kids as a way for them to work through their trauma."
"I don't know all the ins and outs, but it seems to help them. My husband has a 3D printer so he prints their mini figs for them."
OK Go Away NowSeason 5 April GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy
"I’d like people to enjoy my work, but otherwise forget about me and leave me alone."
"I went to a lecture given by Andy Weir once and he said that writing is a great way to be famous because you’re famous for a few weeks when they make a movie out of your book and you get invited to parties and stuff and it’s a lot of fun, but then you get to go back to civilian life rather quickly because everyone forgets about you pretty fast."
"So you get a taste of the celebrity life every now and then but you’re not stuck in the spotlight all the time like someone in the film or music industries."
"I second this! Reclusive writer would seriously be an awesome job to have and make $400,000 doing."
"A mysterious person that everybody knows by what you do; but whose identity is unknown because all you put are your initials, rather than your full name? Before you know it, you're both the most famous yet unknown person that everybody is talking about."
Here Kitty Kittycat lady cats GIFGiphy
"Cat rescue and rehabilitation. I do it for free when I can, so it would be awesome to be paid for it and have actual resources."
"My family used to do this as well and it was so much fun growing up with up to a dozen cats in a town house at a time."
"Had a friend who co-owned a rescue. It’s good work but man was there so much drama from cat people. Half of her energy was spent managing different crazy personalities who volunteered."
"She ended up stepping down to a smaller role and opening a cat cafe."
Masters With No Moneyshocked oh my GIFGiphy
"Librarian. Let me teach all about and facilitate the free borrowing of books while arranging events and services that help bind and strengthen the community."
"I would do it if librarian pay could support even myself decently. A lot of public service jobs (like librarians and teachers amongst others) do not pay very well and it can be hard to support yourself on such a salary, let alone a family if you want to have one."
"Still, if the issue of being able to live on the salary is taken out of the equation, I would choose to be a librarian every time."
"Oh man, my mom was a librarian and it is a real calling for some and I so love and respect that."
"Librarians are amazing!!!!"
"This was absolutely my first thought as well."
"I was halfway to a master's degree in library science when I did several shadow sessions. Everyone I talked to had gone to school for library science and was working part time shelving books and waiting for a librarian position to open up. Unless I was willing to move, it really didn't seem like a good option."
"It's a profession where the expectation is to have a masters degree and the pay scale for the vast majority of positions does not reflect that."
"I AM a librarian and it would still be my answer for this thread, but you'll often get that because you have to want to do this job to do it for the kinds of pay you can expect."
"I'm just lucky I'm in an academic position rather than public as that tends to set the starting pay a bit higher."
What's Up, Wonka?Animated GIFGiphy
"Ice cream truck driver, but everything is $1 or less. Or maybe running a candy shop."
"While I’m at my mentally draining job, I dream of just being able to make people smile, but I just can’t afford to live on the money that provides."
"There was this man who had an ice-cream truck that went around my neighborhood (I lived near a small park) and he was so nice. He couldn’t speak English well, but he just radiated a warmth around him that can never be bought or sold."
You know what Reddit would do, but what about you? If you had enough money to be comfortable, what job would you happily get up and go do?
Is there a job you wouldn't do even if someone offered you a $400k salary?
What's your labor worth? Let's talk about it, fam.
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We can't explain many people's actions, especially if they are peculiar.
But as long as whatever activity they're engaged in isn't hurting anybody, as well as themselves, who are we to judge?
Ah, but plenty of us will silently be judgy.
Some of the activities unfolding before us can be outright bonkers, and we just have to wonder what makes them do the things they do.
Curious to hear about how others might be perceived in public for doing certain activities, Redditor LordP*yF*ker asked:
"What’s legal but if you do it you still look like a psychopath?"
Why anyone would do the following is anybody's guess, but at least the question was answered.
They've Gotta Latte Nerve
"Going to Starbucks and ordering a milk with ice."
Going Nowhere Fast
"walking backwards in public."
"So I saw this couple walking backwards down the middle of my street and thought 'huh weird.'"
"Looked out the window 1 minute later and there they were again walking backwards in the same spot."
"Went to the kitchen window and again walking backwards, but I had never seen them walk forwards to get back to that position."
"At this point I think I'm stuck in a time loop. I show my roommate to prove I'm not crazy and this time we see them walk forwards back to the top of the street. So we watch them for several cycles just walking forwards, then backwards, up and down the street, just holding casual conversation."
"Figure it must be a workout routine or something but wtf..."
What's Up, Doc?
"Paint yourself orange, dye your hair green, stand in a hole and pretend your a carrot."
Reach For The Sky
"Flying a kite at night."
"Working out in a suit."
"I had a classmate who did phys ed (also) in a suit. He only had suits, about 20 times the very same outfit, including shoes and ties."
Could something more sinister be at work here?
After all, these activities are NOT illegal, right?
Midnight In The Garden Of Evil
"Digging holes in your backyard at night."
"Just doing some night digging."
"Wearing the skin of a roast chicken like a mask."
Here's A Treat
"Offering candies to kids with a van with homemade logos."
"Wearing a wedding gown to someone else's wedding."
"In pakistani culture its perfectly normal to wear your own wedding gown to someone elses wedding. The gowns are very color full and heavily embroidered."
Just because it's a preference doesn't mean you won't get an awkward reaction.
"Pulling your pants/underwear all the way down to pee at a men’s urinal."
"I knew a kid in elementary school who did this. Normally he would use the stalls but one time he did it at the urinal and yelled 'oops I'm not in the stall' then turned and made and held eye contact when I looked cause he yelled."
Look Ma, No Hands
"Eating in public without using your hands at all."
"Like... just face first?"
"Eating a banana with the skin on."
As a subway commuter in Gotham City, I've seen my fair share of crazy on the train.
From unprovoked altercations, to riders taking up precious sitting real estate by spreading their legs wide open, there are many offenses committed by strap-hangers all the time.
My biggest complaint is a common one and it happens as I try to exit the train and my path is blocked by commuters standing on the platform who are simultaneously rushing to get in.
It happened very recently where a guy was standing directly in front of me, and he refused to step out of the way.
I asked him, "so are you just going to stand there?" His choice to stand on solid ground gave me my answer and I aggressively nudged him out of the way with my shoulder.
I didn't have patience for it, because like many of us stepping out of the train, we had places to go.
That being said, I don't highly recommend what I did. As I said earlier, I've seen my fair share of crazy on the train and you never know who you're going to piss off.
I can't wait to be a car-owner again someday.
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