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Dungeons And Dragons Players Reveal The Most Awesome Thing They've Ever Accomplished In Game

Dungeons And Dragons Players Reveal The Most Awesome Thing They've Ever Accomplished In Game
upload.wikimedia.org

You don't need to be a Dungeons & Dragons expert to appreciate savage game play when you see it. But to the people who play in these digital worlds, do you ever think - could *we* be nothing more than someone's avatar, existing only for entertainment?

IllGandalf73 asked DnD players of Reddit: What's the most awesome or evil thing you've ever accomplished?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.

10. I want an elephant.

One of my party members bought an elephant, but we needed to travel by boat and needed to sell it. Elephants weren't exactly common in the city we were in, but they also weren't in demand. So I (Bard w/ Disguise Self and Actor feat) went to the local stable posing as a noble's servant desperately looking for an elephant for his master's son's birthday. I told him money was no object. He told us that he heard of an elephant in another city, so I told him that I would go there, but would be in town for a few days while arranging travel.

A couple of days later, we had the owner of the elephant go to the stable looking to sell. The stable master saw the opportunity for profit and tried to buy at cost. I was in another disguise, pretending to be someone who had heard of the noble's search, and started a bidding war with the stablemaster. Once the price reached 500, I told him that I would buy it for that price, but I would need a day to gather the money. Stablemaster offered to buy it for 480 right now, and he agreed. And then we got on the boat and left.

Stablemaster latered hired some mercenaries to try to track us down when he figured out he'd been swindled, but I used another disguise self to make them think they were following the wrong group.

sacrelicious2

9. Defeated at your own game.

A few years ago, I played in a Pathfinder campaign as a lawful good sorceror with a long story arc in which I fully intended he would fall into evil. I used his bloodline (Infernal? Can't remember the name) as the basis for this. I played for several months, becoming a little more evil and unpredictable every session, until I had to quit the game due to some other commitments. The GM and I agreed that my character suddenly just vanished without a word to the rest of the party, under suspicious circumstances.

Several months later they were winding up the campaign and the GM invited me back to play in the final session. They were up against an evil spellcaster who was terrorizing the frontier area they were trying to settle/civilize. GM didn't tell the other players I was coming back - he had the (never seen before) NPC lure them into a trap, while I waited outside the room. On his signal, I strolled casually into the room, in character, and revealed myself as the bad guy they'd been hunting. And then proceeded to try to murder the sh*t out of them. It almost worked, too. But they got in a couple opportune crits and, well, good prevailed in the end. Too bad, really.

Captain_Hammertoe

Best one I've read so far.

On his signal, I strolled casually into the room, in character, and revealed myself as the bad guy they'd been hunting. And then proceeded to try to murder the sh*t out of them.

Never played any DnD or Pathfinder, but I love this.

anscott

We just did this to our players! A player had to leave but we brought her back electronically for the final session as a villain. She had got her powers from the BBEG initially (unknown to her) and we played it off that. The players ended up redeeming her, it was super fun!

Dennysaurus539

8. Strike!

This was waaaay back in college. We were a low level party, most of us were new to the game, and we were attacked by ogres. The battle went on forever, but things were looking grim for us once the cleric went down. A few rounds later and the ogres were dead, but everyone but one character was down. I was playing this character for a guy who ended up leaving for an emergency. He had no healing magic.

After everyone was bandaged, I looked to the nearby cave for shelter. We realized there were likely ogre children in there. Nobody could figure out how to tell if anyone was still in there, and how to get them out if they were. I had 2 hit points, and any real fighting would likely end the whole adventure.

I told the DM that I cut off the head of one of the dead female ogres, rolled it in like a bowling ball, and braced myself at the mouth of the cave for back-stabbing bonuses. They ran out screaming, and were killed quickly.

The DM looked at me chuckling as others (new to the game) were shocked by this. "You are a cold motherf*cker," he said.

Surullian

7. The perfect crime.

I stole from and killed a smith, blamed it on another smith in town, and then stole his stuff while he was being hanged.

xen0zer0

That's pretty f*cked up 😂

IllGandalf73

6. Methodical madness.

I think one of my favorite moments was what I've come to call the Rat Swarm Meat Grinder story.

We were a relatively high-ish level party (low teens or so) and were exploring a dungeon. I forget exactly what class I was playing (it was out of one of the weird side books, gotta love 3.5e having hundreds of those) but it was a sort of Ranger/Rogue hybrid so I was generally leading the pack. We hit the end of a corridor and opened the door, revealing a massive Dire Rat Swarm. The intent of the encounter would be us fighting it off while it chased us back down the corridor we'd come from, lest we be entirely... well, swarmed.

I should take a moment here to explain a quirk of basically every character I play. I make a point to always, always buy a small Bag of Holding and fill it with caltrops. It's relatively cheap and infinitely useful to have on hand in those kind of quantities.

I instantly declare I want to roll a reflex save to chuck my Bag of Holding into the room and shut the door, which the DM has me do two rolls for. Nailed the roll for chucking the bag, and hit a 20 on the door-shut part of the action. My argument being that the swarm is a constantly moving entity, so the caltrops were basically going to turn that room into a giant meat grinder, since the swarm was always shifting or moving and would always be taking damage from the caltrops.

We avoided a pretty major encounter in the dungeon with full credit... though opening the door still resulted in my character basically getting bathed in a mix of ground up rats and caltrops, since we still had to move forward in the dungeon.

Less elaborate but still awesome was the time I nailed a triple-crit on a boss during an attack of opportunity. While blind.

soulreaverdan

Well, I know what's going in my next character's inventory.

sadhoovy

I always made sure to have a bunch of random adventuring stuff with me. I actually made sure to go through the tools section and have a good spread of just generic useful sh*t with me. DM's love when you pay attention to detail like that.

soulreaverdan

5. Oops.

I'll try to keep this short.

We were a low level party. I was playing a rogue, David was playing a warlock, and Michael was a fighter. The quest was to get a spellbook from a wizards tower.

We broke in and the fighter failed the stealth check. The warlock was killed by magical rugs that smothered him. David was pretty upset because it was our FIRST session, so he and the DM stepped outside for a few minutes after combat.

When they came in, the DM said that the wizard was walking downstairs. I hid around the corner and used sneak attack to hit him for like 30 points of damage. Insta kill.

Turns out, while outside, the DM said that David could play the wizard as his character had just died. Until I killed him. Whoops.

VaultDweller135

4. Now it's stuck in my head.

My friend was introduced to DnD while he was away for school. His roommate was an avid player who taught him the ropes.

When he came back, our friend group got together to start a campaign. So we have a mildly experienced DM and four PC's who have no idea what they are doing. However, we are all having a great time, especially me.

Since I was playing a bard, I decided to step it up by bringing an instrument to our second session but the only thing I could find was a finger piano.

So fast forward to the middle of our session, we are fighting some zombies and I use bardic inspiration for one of my party members. Now, everyone was expecting me to sing (It's the way I am and they know me very well ) so I have everyone's eyes on me. I reach into my bag under the table, whip out my finger piano, and play the chord progression to 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' while singing a totally improvised song consisting of the lyrics: "Please don't die."

Later in that session, we were at a bar and there was a fight-cage where a bear was fighting a dwarf. The betting odds were something like 100:1 for the dwarf to win so, naturally, we all placed bets on the dwarf. When the fight started, the bear was kicking some dwarf butt so our warlock used mage hand and a successful stealth roll to rig the fight and make us all very rich.

FlaxSeedAnalBeads

3. Rabblerousing.

I'm part of a live improvised D&D stage show in Milwaukee. (Not a traditional D&D campaign but close enough). Each show is it's own story, audience chooses names, classes, etc. for each improviser, as well as a location and villain. Our GM/host and I split NPC duties and he narrates/guides, while I improvise background music on keyboard.

So this particular show, the audience designates one of our players as a cleric who serves a thunder god. The plot gets to a point where the party is defending a small village against a horde of oncoming enemies, who are due to arrive the next day. So our GM gives everyone a chance to do a training/prep montage, sharpening weapons, preparing potions, etc. Our thunder cleric decides to go a cliff on a nearby mountain to commune with his god. Our GM sets him up. "What is your prayer?"

Now, normally I keep the music atmospheric- slow and creepy for suspense, fast paced battle music, etc. But once in a while, when the moment's right (and if I know the chords) I'll throw in a pop song reference. This was one such moment. As the player begins his prayer, I softly begin to play the opening riff of AC/DC's "Thunderstruck." Thunder cleric goes on, building in volume and intensity, and ends up delivering an epic f*cking speech about how much ass we were going to kick in the thunder god's name. All the while I stick with that same riff, and everyone in the audience is chanting "THUNDER!" and stomping their feet along to the beat. I was getting goosebumps, it was f*cking METAL.

We won the battle, of course, but it was the lead-up that was the height of the show for all of us.

TLDR; friends and I brought the house down with an epic speech set to "Thunderstruck" in a live D&D show.

herculesmeowlligan

2.

Appearently, in hob-goblin culture, if you kill a women's husband, she becomes your wife. Well, one time my party was attacked by a group of hob-goblins. I killed one (not knowing it at the time) I killed one, and it turns out he had a wife... who was pregnant. Yeah. I had a set of hob-goblin triplets whose mom died in childbirth. But I turned them into a trio of bards, so it was cool.

Vulcan_04

Was their band called 'Feed after midnight'?

meesta_masa

No, we ended up just quitting the campaign before the lives of my "children" went into detail, because our DM constantly wants to switch campeigns, basically every session is a new campaign, and it's annoying because yhe one I mentioned, was my first, and favorite session/campaign

Vulcan_04

1. Poison most foul.

Had a rogue in our party. Every person we met and needed something from kept dying. Everywhere we went, NPCs dropped like flies. DM kept having us roll at random times, so we knew something was up.

Turned out finally the rolls were to see if any of us noticed the rogue poisoning everyone. I mean EVERYONE. He had worked out a signal with the DM for when he wanted to kill someone, and he got away with it forever. We didn't realize his rolls were for if the poison worked, ours were for if we noticed. He finally rolled a one, the NPC noticed what he was doing, and the plot was exposed.

Turned out he was a spy working for the main bad NPC. When we asked why he didn't just try to kill us and not just those helping us, he said "what makes you think I haven't tried?" Lol

doonze

dungeons & dragons

Infamous Internet Rumors That Ended Up Being True

Reddit user strakerak asked: 'What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?'

boy playing at laptop inside room
Photo by Ludovic Toinel on Unsplash

In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.

He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.

The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.

This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.

Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:

"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"

The King Of Pop

"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."

"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."

– -WigglyLine-

"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."

"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."

"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."

– given2fly_

The Truth Comes Out

"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."

"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."

– guyfromsoccer

Video Evidence

"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."

"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."

– Frozenthickness

"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."

– PattiAllen

The Movie Business

"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."

"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."

– OldMastodon5363

"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."

– CMV_Viremia

Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids

"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."

"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."

– Spledidlife

Yes, It's True

"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."

"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."

"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."

– latflickr

How The Mighty Fell

"John Edward’s love child."

– ACam574

"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."

– Fanclock314

Ugh...

"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."

– everylastlight

It Actually Happened

"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."

– Known-Committee8679

"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."

– Paganigsegg

Big Actor, Small Roles

"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."

– KampferMann

"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."

– CardinalCreepia

What To Do Next?

"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."

"Turned out to be absolutely true."

– homarjr

That last one was kind of obvious!

Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.

internet rumors

People Share Their Best 'Don't Ask How I Know That' Fun Facts

Person holding large stack of books
Photo by Jay Lamm on Unsplash

Whether you're naturally interested in fun facts and trivia or not, it's always nice to know a few that you can pull out of your pocket at a moment's notice as a nice conversation starter.

But there are some fun facts out there that are so weird, people become more preoccupied with how the teller found out that information rather than the information itself.

Redditor Dry_Bus_935 asked:

"What is your 'don't ask me how I know' random fact?"

Nuclear Fail Safe

"You have quite a lot of time, certainly more than ten seconds, to turn back on the main pumps of a nuclear reactor once you have accidentally turned them off."

- egorf

"I'm not surprised. The amount of fail safes, redundancies, and emergency scenario planning for nuclear power plants is insane."

"I toured a nuclear plant and wrote my high school senior thesis on the plans put in place to ensure the Fukushima disaster would not happen at that plant."

"I'm sure the secondary pumps are plenty capable of handling the reactor until the main pumps are repaired or just turned back on."

- Borderlandsman

Happy Cat

"If your cat chews on fresh eucalyptus, they might start hallucinating and fall over repeatedly, leading to a $400 emergency vet bill just to be told she’s just kinda high."

- oddidealstronghold

"And, that's part of why koalas love it. Little stoners."

- littlebluefoxy

Archaeology: Do Not Lick

"Old human bones are very porous, so if you lick them, they’ll stick to your tongue."

- clanculcarius

Sharing is Caring

"A pigeon will only eat a Starburst if you chew it up a little bit first. Just to clarify: chew the Starburst, not the pigeon."

- OhTheHueManatee

"Instructions unclear. Pigeon unhappy."

- Wild-Lychee-3312

Intriguing Anatomy

"Everyone is here with the creepy crime stuff, and I'm just like, 'A soft fur rat has 22 nipples.'"

- horroscoblue

"Okay, so either they have really small nipples, their nipples overlap, or they have nipples in places where there shouldn't be nipples."

"(I've never written the word 'nipples' so many times in a singular sentence before.)"

- GdeGraaf

'Don't Ask Me,' Indeed!

"Turmeric can be used as clothes dye. It is capable of permanently dyeing cotton cloth even after it has passed through the digestive tract of an adult male."

- SlefeMcDichael

"You s**t your pants, didn't you?"

- PMmecrossstitch

"I'd prefer not to answer that question."

- SlefeMcDichael

High-Risk Survival Skills

"If you ever trying to survive in the Arctic, don’t eat polar bear liver. It is so high in vitamin A, it will kill you."

- WrongWayCorrigan-361

"It's also surrounded by a lethal amount of angry polar bear."

- horanc2

Real-Life Spies

"TV shows and movies go out of their way to make military/intelligence officers look bada**."

"But real-life 'spies,' by design and training, are boring. They have regular houses and standard second-hand cars, they dress down, and they have vague, boring job titles (accounts receivable) as cover, and they do not draw attention to themselves. Most come from specialized academia."

- Ok_Worth_1093

Haunting Reality

"Your muscles can keep twitching for several hours after you die."

- JustDave62

"Also, beards can appear to grow. This is however not because the beard itself grows but because the skin shrinks."

- RRautamaa

"I worked at a morgue for over eight years. If you grasp the hand of a dead body to move the arm, the hand will grasp back, but that's just muscles and tendons reacting to the tension."

- goneferalinid

The Sneakiness of Drowning

"When a drowning victim is revived, get them to a hospital as soon as possible. Drowning is the leading cause of death of kids from the age of one to seven and is ruled as accidental drowning when it comes to secondary drowning or dry drowning."

"Basically, your lungs are full of water despite being revived. Your lungs will absorb the liquid, but not before your body acidifies from high levels of carbon dioxide. The only chance to survive is to have the lungs pumped with oxygen via CPAP machine and time."

"Also, drowning is extremely quiet. You don’t hear the victim go under. And if you see flailing, do not attempt to save the victim otherwise you’ll become another drowning victim. Throw them a lifeline and hope their amygdala realizes that a rope or something is floating near them and grabs on it."

- Dfiggsmeister

Not Everyone's Favorite Chocolate

"Hershey’s chocolate has the strong smell of vomit or feces to some people (me), and that’s because they use butyric acid as a preservative. Butyric acid is the compound that makes vomit smell so bad."

"Edit: Digging further into it, there are some claims that they may not be “adding” the butyric acid, but rather it is occurring from essentially spoiling the milk in their milk chocolate. Either way, the butyric acid and putrid smell remains a part of their product."

- hefewiseman1

"That explains the weird aftertaste I always get! I don’t smell it but their chocolate always has this super unpleasant sharp/acidic aftertaste that I find repulsive. I assume this is why!!"

- PomegranateNo975

Do Not Lick the Asbestos

"Asbestos tastes like chalk. And if you lick it, it has the texture of extremely gritty sandpaper. Which is actually the feeling of microscopic asbestos needles piercing your flesh!"

- TooYoungToBeThisOld1

Mapping Out the War

"Beginning in 1911 in anticipation of the outbreak of WW1 in 1914, two statesmen, one from England and one from France, began visiting locations in France that they believed would be the settings for a number of major battles that would occur during the great war."

"Long bike rides through these future battle zones in the countryside and weeks spent building a foundation for a French-Anglo codebook that would later prove important in helping win the war."

- fjordperfect123

Avoiding Lawsuits > Protecting Patients

"Doctors, or surgeons more specifically, that make too many mistakes during surgery, ie, leaving instruments in patients, frequently gets ‘quietly traded’ to other hospitals where they continue their path of destruction with the patients not being aware of their past record. Hospitals tend to keep quiet about the matter to avoid lawsuits."

- Kittytigris

Bonus Points: Do This While Having Lunch in Your Car

"If you overfill a fast food gravy cup and then put a lid on, it will create a pressurized gravy stream that sprays all over your face and uniform while your coworker looks on in horror."

- thechaosjester776

This subReddit thread was so a roller-coaster of random facts, we've surely all walked away learning something.

But the biggest takeaway might just be: Maybe don't lick so many things.

dont ask

People Break Down The Times They Had To Sober Up Real Fast

Shocked woman covering her mouth
vaitheeswaran Nataraj/Unsplash

When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.

But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.

Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.

It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.

Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:

"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"

These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.

Bleeding Out

"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."

"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."

– DongLaiCha

Tragic News

"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."

– accountnameredacted

Bottom Of The Barrel

"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."

– Crotch-Monster

A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.

Like Father, Like Son

"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."

– psycospaz

Busted

"Flashing blue lights."

– FiddleOfGold

"This sobered me up just thinking about it."

– redmaple_syrup

Losing Sight

"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."

– MissHibernia

Quitting The Bottle

"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."

– omgtater

These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.

Unplanned House Guests

"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."

– Oneinsevenbillion75

Serious Health Warning

"Elevated liver enzymes."

"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."

"So I opted for recovery, instead."

"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."

– Far_Meal8674

The Joyride

"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."

– foxfood9116

The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?

How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.

But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.

Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.

The Most Ridiculous 'First World Problems' People Have Heard Someone Complain About

Woman holding multiple shopping bags
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.

Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.

These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.

From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.

Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:

"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"

"Tale As Old As Time..."

"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","

"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."

"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."

"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."

"Lol!"

"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom

"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."

"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."

"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."

"I think he was a germaphobe."

"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."

"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."

"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.

"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."

"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."

"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000

Money Burn GIF by nog Giphy

Who Wore It Better?

"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."

"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."

"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."

"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'

"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"

"No."- mertsey627

Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...

"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."

"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."

"It was very low key."

"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."

"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."

"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."

"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."

"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa

south park wedding GIF Giphy

See You In Court!

"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."

'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."

"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."

"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."

"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."

"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin

It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!

"I work in a public library."

"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."

"A popular book that just came out."

"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."

"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten

A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!

"My own."

"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"

"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."

"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"

"Unacceptable!"

"This shall not stand!"

"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."

"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."

"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."

"I got over it."- DeathGrover

homer simpson episode 23 GIF Giphy

Holy Matrimony!

"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."

"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."

"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."

"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."

"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."

"It's just a party."

"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree

When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...

"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore

In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...

"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."

"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."

"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."

"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."

"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."

"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."

"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."

"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."

"We don’t offer wrapping services."

"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."

'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae

Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso Giphy

Happiest Place On Earth!

"I used to work for Disney."

"That in itself should tell you everything."

"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."

"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."

"Suddenly got worse huh?"

"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."

"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."

"I'm not kidding."

"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."

"My wife worked booking."

"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."

"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."

"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."

"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."

"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."

"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong

Disney World GIF Giphy

The horror!

Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!

It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...

Said absolutely no one.


problems