Drug Dealers Explain Why They've Called Child Protective Services On Their Customers

It's always interesting to hear about a "flipped script" situation.
For example, most people wouldn't think that dealers would call government officials on their clients, since they are generally breaking the law themselves.
But sometimes the situation just demands it.
u/Many-Bees asked:
[Serious] Drug dealers of Reddit, have you ever called CPS on a client? If so, what's the story?
Here were some of those answers.
A Happier Ending
This was a long time ago, and I've since gotten clean and started my own family.
But there was a girl I knew who was homeless with her newborn son. On Easter weekend, I was walking on this trail to go meet with some people to sell them a sack. It started raining and that, of course, made me mad. There's these bridges that cross over the top of the trail and lots of kids gather and smoke or get spun under the bridges...
And that's where I found her. She was passed out drunk with some random guy under the bridge while her newborn baby sat strapped in his car seat in the rain. He wasn't under the bridge. He was crying. And he looked dirty.
I didn't have any children at this point, but I panicked seeing the little guy. I grabbed him, dropped all the shit I was supposed to be selling, and walked off the trail and up the couple blocks to the police station. I told them what happened and where I'd found him. Cps took him and he ended up getting adopted.
How To Save A Life
When I was selling to her a lady SHOOK HER CRYING BABY in front of me. I wigged out, took the baby, dumped ~500 worth of goods and called 911 from my car. She didn't put up a fight until the cops came to arrest her. She tried to sue me for kidnapping.
Definitely not the best strategy for me (I was 18 and addicted pretty bad) but when the baby saw a doctor under state care he was covered in bruises, a couple of burns, and had 2 broken ribs already. I'm convinced she would have killed him. He's ten now and happy and thriving. The whole experience (and legal battle when she tried to have me charged with kidnapping) is how I got sober.
A Life On Drugs
I used to deal way back when I was a hot mess in an extremely abusive relationship. I called CPS on not only 1 person, but 6. The one that sticks with me most though, not only because of the severity but because I called twice, was this couple who used to pick up from me at a laundromat and we ended up seeing each other often enough I felt okay to go to their place. I was so floored when I stepped through that door.
I kid you not, they had taken up all the carpeting in the house, and had torn down the walls to get at the copper wiring and pipes. They had no electricity or running water. There was nothing in that house except for some sleeping bags in what used to be the living room. And then I noticed a nest of blankets with bright blue eyes peering at me over the pile and realized that there was a toddler and a small child no more than 5. Until this point, I had never seen nor heard them talk about having kids.
The poor kids were filthy and obviously malnourished. The house stunk of meth so badly I gagged. I couldn't believe it. I guess the look of shock was super apparent on my face because the dad said they were squatting and introduced me to their kids. I made some small talk and then left. The phone was ringing for CPS before I closed my car door. I gave them the address and let them know the conditions of the home and they were squatting with two small children. Gave the names of the parents as I knew them and the names of the kids.
They ended up going to jail for the squatting and the kids went to live with a relative. They ended up contacting me back to sell to them after they were bailed out of jail and I never responded. However, the guy I was with at the time ended up selling to them and they were living in a field in a tent with the kids. I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend over it and was so disgusted he still sold to them. I ended up calling CPS on them again. From what I heard from other people that knew them, the kids were taken permanently after that and about a year later the mom ended up going to prison for attempted murder and the dad went to prison for check fraud some weeks after that.
A Mess, And A Danger
Former dealer here. I once had a lady come in the trap house with a newborn. She was literally selling herself and or her baby for a "a few rocks". When I saw the newborn in used diapers and dirty AF I let her smoke and leave. I also called - BCW - Bureau of Children's Welfare on her as soon as she walked out. She lived on my street. I couldn't let her try to sell her baby. I couldn't let her keep it either. I just couldn't call the police. The baby was in a foster home less than a week later. The lady disappeared shortly after. I never saw her again. I hope she never got the baby back. She was a real piece of work.
Why Don't People Care About Their Babies?
Ah yes back when I was younger, maybe 17 I got my first job at Domino's pizza. One of my managers was a really scummy 24 year old guy that looked like a troll, had astoundingly bad hygiene and also a bad attitude but sold good weed and bought me cigarettes. This was my first experience having older friends able to get me good stuff on demand like that. One day he hooked me up with a friend of his that was selling mushrooms, so I met with that guy and bought an ounce, and then walked to my managers house to sell him some and also get some weed. So turns out him and his similarly aged sister, who has a 1 year old baby, both live in makeshift bedsheet bedrooms in the basement of the tiny house.
They smoked inside, windows closed. Cats everywhere, bugs everywhere, weird gross sour smells coming from all areas. Everything gross. Their mom was home but she was senile and addicted to painkillers (as well as the sister). So we did the trade downstairs and when I go back upstairs I go to the kitchen to throw some stuff away and I see the baby in a highchair.... Eating a pack of cigarettes. He's just sitting there tearing them open and putting in his mouth and spitting it out. I ran downstairs and told the sister and she just started yelling "mom! Mom get the baby!", a couple times lazily, then gives up and goes back to just sitting there. It was surreal. I hadn't ever experienced such neglect and disgust from people. I left and waited 2 days to call cps because I didn't want my manager to know it was me who called. I know the kids got taken away and she went to live with a different family member, or at least that's what I was told.
Let Kids Be Kids
Twice. Left anonymous tips, which I know are hard to follow up for such a strained child protection agency, but as dealer it was all I felt I could do.
I found out later one of the kids was put into foster care, adopted by the foster parents, and recently graduated a trade school.
I have no idea about the other kids (siblings). But I hope they made it too.
Kids should be protected. Humans only get one childhood. Let's let kids enjoy it, and grow to happy adults. Don't hurt them intentionally or by your own stupidity**.
**that also means washing your hands people.
When/if you need to report to CPS you flood them with details. Lots of details. It's the only way they can act. A one sentence tip won't cut it.
So...You're Poisoning Your Kids
A friend of my girlfriend introduced us to her neighbors who were like 50-60 year old hippies that looked like a bad acid trip but bought weed regularly for full price.
Couple months down the road they start being more friendly with my girlfriend and I and start talking more when we'd go drop off the stuff. The topic began with her telling us how she has custody of her daughters oldest born because her daughter was sitting time at a women's prison. Back story on the kid - looks 15 but clearly has the mind capacity of a 6 or 7 year old, not sure what was wrong with her specifically but you could tell there were issues. Near the end of the conversation about her daughter she brought up the fact that her granddaughter was prescribed adderall 30xr and whenever they got her prescription they'd dump all the little beads into a bowl to use whenever they couldn't find meth or whatever they needed and instead fill the adderall with Benadryl to make the kid sleep.
Till this day I'll never forget the emotions I felt after getting out of there and sitting in my car. My hands were shaking so bad it was hard to google information about cps, much less type information in. I felt goosebumps in every pore of my scalp. As a father of two I never knew such evil existed. Obviously in movies but never experienced something first hand like that.
The Lives In The Long Run
This is a sad story but I'll tell it anyways because it was the past. There have been sooo many stories but this one takes the cake. It's the reason I stopped selling and turned my life around.
I must've been 16 or 17 at the time. I was in High School, also had a part time job at Dairy Queen and on top school and regular job, I was also selling weed and cigarettes at school.
This story involves a crack user. At the time of this incident, I've already been selling hard for about 1 or 2 years. Profit was pretty good (I'd say around $300 per day on average which was great for my age) but I spent money as fast as it came, I was young and I was dumb.
So the incident is in this addicts house. He (about 50 year old man) has a girlfriend/partner or something like that. The girlfriend had a little boy, maybe the age of 3/4/5. At the time I didn't know how to tell how old a kid was. I didn't ask either because I was ashamed of myself for not preventing his mother from using. This kid though, I felt like he was my little brother in some way, I would cook for him when he was hungry and his mom was always too messed up to do anything.
One day, I go to work at the shack. It was a regular day. I get into the house, get my products ready, weigh out the stuff and bag them up. Knock on the bedroom door of the guy (home owner), I see him sleeping. His girlfriend is also on the couch sleeping because she is always high and messed up. The kid is just sitting there watching TV. I make him some macaroni and cheese.
Now I gotta wake up the guy because I need an update on what products he's moved the day before. So I go in his room. I see his eyes were still open. White foam all over him like he's overdosed. It's normal for me to see overdoses but this was beyond an overdose. He's been overdosed for too long which means he's dead. He was probably overdosed for at least 10 hours because I could smell it and he was cold to the touch. His vomit was dried and his eyes were dried.
Now I'm in one of the biggest panics I've ever been in. As I'm trying to figure out what to do, I sit down with the kid and stay there until he finishes his mac n cheese, thinking about what I'm going to do next. His mom, sleeping behind me on the couch is still alive but has no idea what'd happened or maybe she does, I don't know.
I left the shack. Drove about 2 blocks away. Use the prepaid cell phone I have to call the police and report it. Sat in my car until the police showed up.
From that day on, I am anti-hard drugs. I still wonder about the little kid, he's probably 16 now without a mom. Every time I see the mac n cheese at the supermarket I get this awful feeling in my gut. And for the guy that died, I know I didn't kill him (I've accepted that), but could he have lived longer if I was never in his life? His life story was pretty amazing, he did cool things when he was young. He got into drugs when his mom passed away, he didn't have a dad though.
One tip for anyone reading this: Never judge a person on where they are in life, even if they are "crack heads" as many people would say. Some people go through the most brutal situations and have no love and support to get on their feet. I'm glad I was able to be the mans friend before he died and I know I treated the kid as a big brother/father and I hope he remembers that part.
Things That Turn Your Life Around
Yes. I was a stupid teenager and thought I was a hot-shot from selling to my peers. The money was nice but at the time it was more for social standing. Eventually it got so out of hand that I was selling to peoples uncles, fathers, aunts, and cousins. It was pretty daunting as a teenager but like I said, the money way good and so was the social standing
One day a buddy calls me up and asks me if I'm good go. I tell him yes and ask him how much. He informs me that its for his mom (that he doesn't live with) and we go through the whole dance of him calling her, then calling me, then calling her again to set up the deal.
Eventually the amount and price gets set and I hop in my old car to the next town over to make the deal. Now I'm used to nasty houses. I live on the cusp of suburbs, city, and rural, so you see all sorts of folks in your daily life. But this one was a special little house. The best way I can set the scene up is the scene in breaking bad when Jesse goes into those meth heads house, but they weren't on meth.
Ive seen my fair share of dope-heads but these took the cake. It took about 30 minutes for them to let me in and when they did the stench was like a punch in the face. You couldn't even see the floor. All sorts of trash covering the carpet of the apartment. Honestly at this point it didn't even phase me, I made the deal and took the money but during the awkward small-talk I heard a little "coo" from the room over.
Im not the most confrontational person but they were so strung-out that I wasn't threatened at all. I asked them what that sound was and they said it was their baby. I asked how old. they said 7 months. I immediately took stock of the room around me. Rotting food, cat poo, garbage bags everywhere.
I left that apartment complex and sat in my car debating whether I would get busted if I called the police. Eventually I googled CPS and made an anonymous claim. Nothing happened to me and the kid got taken away.
Neither of them know it was me that called and I stopped selling and went through rehab in 2016. Clean ever since. Judging by their facebooks they're still trying to get that kid back. I really hope they don't.
Do Your Part For Your Kids
Not sure if this counts, but in the late 1990s, I used to sell part-time while I was in college. One of my regular customers turned his sister on to me. She called for a delivery. No big deal. I went there one time... She had three little kids. Like a couple toddlers and an infant. Her house was FULL of cockroaches. I was disgusted. I called CPS. Not because of the drugs and babies, but because of how filthy that house was. It caused a lot of problems for her and her boyfriend. They were in the system for a long time. Not sure how it all turned out. But, screw that woman.
Former Disney Park Actors Describe The Weirdest Experiences They Ever Had While In Character
An undeniable part of the magic that guests experience at many of the Disney parks around the world is the interactions with characters.
Those who post photos of their Disney vacations will almost always include a photo with Mickey and/or Donald Duck, Goofy, Minnie, and their human friends like Snow White, Belle, Moana, or villains like Gaston.
It's not that difficult to suspend your disbelief during an encounter with a Disney character.
But spoiler alert, the beloved icons you're putting your arms around and giving hugs are with total strangers who are paid to make you feel special.
Redditors got a chance to discover what it's like for those costumed Disney cast members giving hugs and signing autographs to kids of all ages that they've never met before.
Redditor nvoltage1017 asked:
"Former actors at Disney parks, what’s the weirdest thing that happened to you while you were in character?"
Fluffy Disney characters are appealing to a niche interest in the kink community.
Sexy Furry
"I was one of the performers for Nick Wilde from Zootopia a few years ago, And if you’re not aware; a large number of people in the furry community find him highly attractive."
"You can just imagine the number of people in that community who flirted with me and/or Judy and whispered some pretty sexual things to us. I think I also had a guy grab Nick’s tie like in that flirty way, we had to get him escorted out of the park."
"The moral of the story is: don’t be inappropriate with the characters, we are real people underneath, and there are legitimate consequences for that kind of behaviour."
– ExtremePikachu75
Just Plain Goofy
"I was playing Goofy inside a restaurant and I got swarmed Aliens-style by a hoard of <10 kids. Unfortunately while I was playing around with them the inner hood below the mask slipped over my eyes and I was completely blinded. We had assistants around whom we could signal for help by flapping our arms, but the kids had made it a game of attaching themselves Tarzan-like to both my arms and to raise them I would have had to lift 3-4 kids per arm (dangerous even if I'd been strong enough to do that)."
"I found myself blind and completely rooted to the spot, unable to ask for help and with nobody realizing that I was in trouble. I spent like a solid 10-15 minutes in that sort of limbo reflecting on the life decisions that had taken me there until the assistant came over and whispered 'set is over dude' and I finally managed to signal something was wrong."
– Judge_T
Things get out of control.
Why They Do It
"I was a 'mouse height' performer at Disney World around 2013. Can unfortunately confirm groping happened from time to time and it was incredibly uncomfortable. We were trained to move away if we could and signal to the character attendants to escort the guest away if it happened. One time some guy thought it appropriate to pick me up completely off the ground in a bear hug. The head pushed back and, because the inside is connected to us with head gear and a chin strap, my neck bent back with it and it hurt like hell."
"Not a weird story, but one of my most memorable guest experiences was meeting a little blind boy as Mickey in Epcot. I gently guided his hands to the soft ears, then the nose, and bow tie and he was laughing and his smile lit up the whole room. I still get emotional thinking about it! Interactions like that made it all worth it to me at the time."
– raybirdie
Tinkerbell's Drama
"I dated a girl that played one of the fairies for the Tinkerbell place. Beyond the pretty much daily occurrence of old dads hitting on her (she was 19 at the time) the weirdest thing to happen to her was a woman with a 4yr old little girl was all excited to get a picture with Tinkerbell, who was busy, so my ex volunteered to do pictures and entertain the little girl while they waited."
"The woman was a b*tch about that idea, rudely saying she was here to see Tinkerbell and not 'off-brand' fairies. So just shrugging it off, my ex moved on. A bit later, she hears a commotion and Tinkerbell is obviously upset, and security shows up. Apparently, this woman was Tinkerbell's bio mom and had taken her granddaughter to Disney, just to violate the restraining order against her."
"Disney Jail is a real place."
– EarlSandwich0045
Trapped In Sick
"I used to work at a different amusement park that featured similar costumed characters. The worst thing I ever heard was the time one of the characters was overcome by heat in 95 degree weather, and vomited inside the suit, splattering the inside of the suit's head with their half-digested lunch."
"They had to walk a long distance back to the dressing rooms breathing the super-heated vomit air the entire way."
– SpaceLaserPilot
Things get violent
That's Just Nuts
"Never was an actor, but when I was a kid at Disney World in the 70s, I watched Chip get into a fist fight with a young 20 something guy. The guys girlfriend wanted him to do a picture with Chip & Dale, but he didn't want to. Chip grabbed him in a head lock and his girlfriend snapped the photo. When Chip let go, the guy came up swinging. Dale had to jump in and break them up, as Chip started swinging back. For a kid of 12, it was awesome!"
– EddyBuddard
Shifts To Avoid
"My ex wife was in the character department at Disney World years ago. She was always getting injured by guests. From macho men wanting to see how strong of a grip Mickey had, to grabbing hold of Donald's bill and yanking really hard. Pulling noses, beaks, ears, etc., can really hurt people."
"Another person was dressed as Daisy duck and got tackled by a guest and knocked out cold. When she recovered, she pressed charges."
"The worst nights for the characters were high school senior nights and the religious group nights. Bunch of unruly teens with little to no supervision. No one wanted to work those shifts. Ever."
– artistandattorney
Some situations were a bit on the laughable side.
Meltdown
"I was part of the Disney college program and I have my own stories but not as a character. My mom on the other hand, she was a character actor back in the day (60’s or 70’s). They were testing a new headpiece for the seven dwarf costumes in Disneyland and my mom wore one of them out on a march with Snow White. As a Dwarf, your head is inside their hat, their face on their stomach, etc. Being Anaheim, it was really hot that summer day and as they were going around following Snow White a little kid saw my mom “Doc” he ran up to give him/her a hug. As he was hugging Doc, the plastic that made up the face started melting inwards and the child started screaming 'I killed Doc! I killed Doc!' In hysterics. Character handlers rushed my mom/Doc off through one of the secret passages by Pirates and got her out of the costume before the plastic could melt onto her."
"Always thought it was a fun story and curious how much it screwed up that kid."
– The_Woman_S
The Gas Leak
"Not a cast member but either Mickey or Minnie cut a very audible fart while posing with my wife and me. It must've been awful inside that dutch oven of a costume."
– Jeffclaterbaugh
Never Assume
"I knew a friend(a guy) who wore Minnie Mouse costume. He told me almost all guys would put their hands around his waist. He wouldn’t dare to talk or else they will hear his manly voice and that might pisses them off."
"Edit: this blows up quickly. I feel I need to let people know that it’s not okay to grope the Disney characters. My friend had introduced me to the people who play them and they are just normal people. All I can tell you is that they will make a disgusting face under the mask and talk sh*t about you later after work."
– reloadfreak
Disney cast members must've been relieved to some extent when the parks reopened with pandemic measures.
Not only did the Disney park institute mask mandates, but any character also interactions–if there were any at all–were at a safe distance from guests, preventing physical contact.
With normal character interactive procedures now back in place at most Disney parks, always remember to be on your best behavior.
People Break Down Which Practices The United States Needs To Adopt From Other Countries
We can all agree that there is something to appreciate about every country in the world, but there are arguably some countries that appear to have their ducks more consistently and happily in a row than others.
While it would be easy to let pride get in the way and continue to do things the same way, the more productive thing would be to learn from the countries who have figured out a better way to do certain things, whether it's healthcare, food banks, or other services.
Reflecting on the United States, Redditor Blinds**thead asked:
"What is one thing the USA should adopt from some other country?"
Introductions to Alcohol
"Swedish drinking laws. If I remember correctly, you can purchase alcohol below 5% at age 18, and be served liquor in bars (so the bartender can control the amount being served)."
"Seems like a smarter way to introduce kids to alcohol rather than opening the floodgates at 21."
- underhandfranky
Taxes to Approve
"Automated taxes."
"I've never done them but they seem complicated and stress my parents out, so I just know I'll f**k mine up and end up in stupid jail, lol (laughing out loud)."
"Just send me something to sign, please!"
- teenage-nightmare
Societal Improvement
"A prison system that focuses on rehabilitation instead of punishment. Many countries have been successful with this saving literally billions of dollars and cutting down on crime."
- LtRecore
Universal School Lunches
"Universal school lunches. It is embarrassing that we do not have folks cooking lunches for students from scratch and that it is not provided for free to all students."
"Do you want to bring your own lunch? Great, but you can also have the free hot lunch that looks homemade, not pizza squares, canned veggies, a slice of fruit, and 3 oz of milk."
"Kids shouldn't be going into debt for lunch. We're probably wealthy enough that our food waste alone would be sufficient, if captured magically, to feed every kid in the United States three proper meals per day."
"Also walkable cities and above-ground monorail systems."
- radiantpenguin991
Relieving Homelessness
"Finland has recently ended homelessness by just allowing people to live in small apartments without any preconditions, and four out of five of them make their way back to a stable life."
"It's also cheaper than allowing people to be homeless."
- littleMAHER1
Period.
"Universal healthcare."
- fastal_12147
Foster Care Assistance
"It would be nice to also eliminate the fees foster parents pay for general registration, classes, and social services related to fostering or adoption."
"And also eliminate trying to recoup costs by billing parents whose children have been placed in foster care."
- hawtpahtadah
Longer Paid Family Leave
"I was SUPER blessed to get 12 weeks fully pay. But that’s not enough time. Putting the emotional aspect aside, I’ve returned to work functioning on four to five hours of sleep a night, and my productivity and cognitive abilities are greatly handicapped."
"My three-month-old son can’t even hold his head up or sit, let alone talk to tell me if anything’s wrong, and he’s placed in the care of someone else from 7:15 am to 5:15 pm. Doesn’t seem healthy for mother or child."
- tealpineapple456
Bathroom Upgrades
"The fact that our toilets don't have bidets and that at public restrooms the gap between the doors is massive, are both disgusting. Our whole bathroom situation is messed up."
- darksix
Having a Siesta
"According to Dr. Andrew Huberman, whether you eat lunch or not, everyone requires a rest midday."
- Justhere_2468
Tax Included in the Price
"Man, I had such a hard time with this when I visited America. Maths in my head is not my forte and I’m so used to looking at prices and expecting that to just be the price."
"I don’t get why you wouldn’t just add in the tax to the price. No one wants to do math unnecessarily. I mean, we don’t even tip in Australia so I don’t even need to work that out."
- Cookie_Wife
Raising Multilingual Children
"Teaching a foreign language to young students in public schools (ie 5yrs, k-5) when the propensity to learn the language quickly is maximum."
- zenjen22
Clean Public Restrooms
"The clean restrooms in Japan were amazing. I never had to clean a toilet seat to put my young kids on it. In the states? Near every time. People here just don’t care about the ‘we’ when it comes to restrooms."
- NoodlesAreAmazing
Separate Work and Healthcare
"Decent healthcare that isn't tied to your job. Other countries all over the world have figured out different ways to do this, so why can't we? (I know, corporations own politicians.)"
"I'm not an expert, but I'm guessing it would destabilize a bunch of industries in the near term. But I wonder if long-term, it would create so much new innovation since people would be unafraid to lose their health benefits to leave their stable but s**tty corporate jobs to start new ventures."
- michiman
Designated Drivers on the Go
"In Japan, there is a service that you can call 24 hours per day that will come with two drivers and one car. One driver drives you and your car home, and the other follows in their car to pick up the driver that took you home with your car. No DUI, etc."
"It's actually really affordable there. No need to get an uber home that night and then an uber back the next day when you are hungover only to find out you have a million parking tickets or your car got towed."
- Visual_Sport_950
Though there are positives to every country, it would be so cool to see each country be more open-minded about adopting the positives of other countries.
If a country is doing something better than another, the best thing for the citizens would be to take some notes, rather than let their pride do the talking.
Every year, at the end of the Academy Awards, while the auditorium erupts in cheers upon the announcement of the Best Picture winner, as they are somewhat obligated to do, many viewers at home instead shake their heads and raise their eyebrows.
That's if they don't throw popcorn or worse at their TVs.
While those who did so when La La Land was announced as the winner in 2017 would end up getting their revenge in what remains one of the biggest blunders of Oscar history, others are still reeling at some past winners, which they believe were more worthy of a Razzie than an Oscar.
Taste being subjective, plenty of people still find themselves confused by some films which won countless awards, received across-the-board raves, and are considered classics or masterpieces, but they find to be utterly unbearable.
Often finding themselves in an unpopular minority and having to keep their opinion to themselves, similar to Seinfeild's Elaine Benes and her unique disdain for The English Patient.
"Which film that’s universally praised do you find utterly repulsive?"
Any Downers
"My best friend really enjoys movies that make you anxious and uncomfortable like 'Uncut Gems' and 'Good Time', but I firmly do not like those kinds of movies."
"I know it's the point, but i find no joy in the level of discomfort I feel while watching them."
"Some other honorable mentions:"
"Spring Breakers."
"High Life."
"Climax."- nuut_meg
Not Exactly Authentic
"'The Greatest Showman'."
"Mostly on the grounds that the real P T Barnum was a f*cking monster."- LostMercenary99
"'Pocahontas'."
"The real John Smith was a f*cking sick bastard and the true events most definitely weren't a love story at all."- CagedKage
Who The "Devil" Was Is Debatable...
"'The Devil Wears Prada'."
"I just wanted everyone in that movie to die in a fire."- PothierM
Tearjerker, Or Sleeping Pill?
"'The Notebook'."
"I don't know if it's universally praised but I f*cking hate it."- sara_c907
One Of The All Time Creepiest Shower Scenes...
"F*cking 'Elf'."
"Every damn Christmas."
"To be fair I can’t really stand Will Ferrel in general."- cook-isation
The Title Could Refer To The People Leaving The Theater...
"'Fast and Furious', just a terribly written extremely corny show."- tds542
Fern Gully Did It Better...
"'Avatar'."
"All day long."
'Those blue miserable tw*ts."- akbarkhan666
There Was Bound To Be One...
"I don't know about utterly repulsive, but I have a hard time seeing why everyone loves 'Citizen Kane'."
"And I understand that there was movie making before 'Citizen Kane' and movie making after 'Citizen Kane' such that it informed movie makers going forward as to how it's done, let's say, but after a certain point we, the audience, don't see that anymore, and it's just another movie."
"And then I hear people say well it highlights social hierarchy under capitalism and such, but a lot of movies do that."
"And then there's the twist at the end which is not much of a twist which is the point, I suppose, but the whole thing seemed like a letdown when I finally watched it."
'As a result while a lot of people say it's their number one movie ever or at least in their top 10, it's on my top 10 list of movies not to watch again."- emjaysea
Why Not Just Do A Documentary?
"Most Biopics."
"I think it's atrocious how they create hyperreality by over romanticizing the life of a famous person."
"Out of all the awful biopics however, i despise 'Bohemian Rhapsody' the most."
"The scene where the band supposedly invents 'We Will Rock You' on the spot makes my skin crawl."
"How did that movie end up winning so many awards, despite all the plot inaccuracy's and the poor editing."
"It is really beyond me."- Biemolt
Maybe Too Realistic?
'Not utterly repulsive, but I'm in the minority for thinking that 'Nomadland''s Best Picture win was a joke."
"It was barely a movie and relied too much on performance exploitation of actual people for its thin-as-f*ck narrative."
"Honestly, it might be my least favorite BP winner of recent times, yes I'd say that even 'Crash', 'The Artist' and 'Green Book' were better."- SamwisethePoopyButt
Not To Mention That Fake Baby...
"'American Sniper'."
"Shameless piece of 'Merican' propaganda, and I couldn't help but laugh at Bradley Cooper's portrayal in the first half hour."- mos_meth
Truman Capote Would Agree...
"Breakfast at Tiffany's."- LucyVialli
He Did Not Have Them At Hello...
"'Jerry Maguire'."
"It was just TOO. DAMN. LONG."
"The 'Show me the money' bit was funny, but it happened early on in the film, and the rest dragged on forever."- Brilliant_Tourist400
We All Know "Moonlight" Was Better...
"'La La Land'."
"The music was utterly forgettable and the plot felt like it was written by a bunch of Hollywood executives jerking each other off."- Aviator506
Needless to say, everyone's taste is different, and everyone is entitled to their opinion.
Meaning there's bound to be an argument at the next "movie night" you have with friends over whether to watch Citizen Kane or Spice World.
And you should feel no shame in expressing which movie you want to watch.
Or rather, "what you really, REALLY, want" to watch...
Everyone wishes there was something different about their body.
Smaller nose, longer legs, a different hair or eye color.
There are those, however, whose frustrations with their body are less personal, and more universal.
Finding themselves frustrated less with their own DNA, but with human anatomy in general.
Frustrated by how certain functions work the way they do, and feeling there could be significant improvements in other departments as well.
"What is the biggest design flaw of the human body?"
Would Make A Lot Of People Less Cautious
"Unable to regenerate body parts."
"You lose an arm or a leg, you can't grow a new one."
"We can grow hair and nails forever, but not body parts."- drygnfyre
And Maybe The Whole Childbirth Process While We're At It...
"The size of the average baby head vs the size of the average vagina."- Ruggiard
"The Obstetric Dilemma."
"Basically, the human body isn't built for easy birth."- strykazoid
It Isn't Terribly Practical If You Think About It...
"IMO the whole 'we put food into the only air hole we have and can choke and die if we aren’t careful' thing is a pretty big miss."- el_rico_pavo_real
"Throat has a built in flaw - we breath n swallow food through the same area."- coolguy1793B
A More Direct Route Would Be Helpful
"I like the example of the recurrent laryngeal nerve."
"It runs from the brain to the larynx."
"However, to get there it goes from the brain, down the neck, into the chest, around the aorta and then back up the chest, up the neck and then connects to the larynx."
"That's a massive detour."
"It also means a blow to the chest can damage your ability to talk."- The_Thunder_Child
Never Underestimate The Damage Teeth Can Do
"The fact that I sometimes accidentally eat the inside of my mouth."- -Grey_Area-·
He Does Have A Point
"'Nostalgia is the greatest human weakness. Second only to the neck'... -Dwight Schrute
In Plain Sight...
"In our eyes, the blood vessels supplying our photoreceptors are in front of them and therefore in the way of the incoming light."
"Probably not the biggest and there are some good justifications for it being set up this way."
"But it still must be such a pain for the brain constantly having to edit these out when forming our visual experience."- oliwoggle
Maybe Just Every Illness And Ailment?
"A stroke."
"My aunt had one when she was 31 and the healthiest person in the world."
"Ran an aerobics class at the Y, just perfect perfect health."
"Went to Pizza Hut with her the night before, next day, massive stroke, almost died, critical surgery, twenty years later she still has trouble speaking."
"It sucks."
"There is no reason that should’ve happened."
"Perfectly healthy person damaged for the rest of her life."
"She’s still amazing and lovely and my favorite person but damn is that annoying."- Jibber_Fight
"You can kinda just die at any moment from a brain aneurysm, even if you're perfectly healthy."- mcsteve87
All Our Bones Could Be Stronger...
"For upright walking creatures, why is our head so (relatively) delicate?"
"Trip a single time and you're blinded, have brain damage, bit off your tongue, or lost teeth."- kmn493
They Arguably Also Weren't Built For Stairs...
"Our knees for sure."
"They just weren't built to last past 40 years."- TopShelfCrazy
A Couple More On/Off Switches Would Be Helpful As Well...
"That we cannot delete or sort unwanted/not needed info and memories from our brains."- PickAName616
As the saying goes, "nobody's perfect."
Or rather, "no BODY is perfect."
Otherwise, we'd all stop complaining about aching limbs or worrying about choking or other injuries.