Reddit user mattdacoolcat shared an unfortunately all too familiar story of discrimination from their days as a restaurant host:
It was a group of middle aged guys. They're regulars, but they're annoying as hell, and they always ask for the hottest server. As a host, I usually just sit them with whoever. The last time they came in, I sat them with D, a really sweet black girl who's one of our best servers. They were FURIOUS. They never said anything to me or a manager, but they claimed everything was wrong. The food was too cold. The drinks were flat. She was way too slow. She was rude. They left a 25¢ tip and left not long after.
This time, they specified they wanted a hot WHITE server. I said "okay!" and with a smile, I walked them over to their table. I specifically sat them with the only male server, a tall, black, bodybuilder who towered over all of them. He's a really cool guy, but he can be slightly intimidating to people that don't know him just due to his stature.
They never said a word.
Tl;dr: Buncha pervs asked for a hot white girl, got a big black guy.
Users were understandably upset by the actions of these men, and shared their ire in the comments.
Some responses have been edited for content/clarity.
Imagine being so inept at talking to women that hitting on your waitress, someone who is forced to interact with/be nice to you, is the best shot you have at meeting someone.
Right of Refusal
You’ve got the right to kick people out for announcing their intention to sexually harass your coworkers btw. I’d suggest using that power.
Why do so many guys just feel entitled to have sex appeal added to their every experience? Next time I go to church I’m requesting only the hot preacher in the slutty priest outfit so I can really enjoy my religious experience. And I’ll slap every male butt I see on the way out. (Side note...why are slutty nun outfits a thing??)Giphy
Others disagreed with their methods.
100% would kick people out for this. These people are here to harass someone who is trying to do their job. They should be there to get food, not flirt with people who are being paid to get you food or drinks.
I would've asked “Why does she have to be white?" and watch them lose their tounge.
When they finally come up with a diet racist response I would've told them to accept whatever seating I provide or kindly leave.
I know you said it ended up making them silent but I think this is kind of a f**ked up thing to do to your black co worker.
Lol making him serve a group of potential racist dudes. Real nice man.
Yeah, I wouldn't subject a POC to them. This might be funny to you, but they will treat the server badly and not tip.
And still others shared similar experiences, and how they handled them.
Am a nurse. In school rotations this guy demanded my peer to only let the cutest nurse do his Foley cath. She tells me, a fat 32 year old hairy guy, and I walked in.
"who the hell are you?"
"I'm the cute one."
I work the bar in a family restaurant. Had a couple guys sit at a table in the bar section while I was bartending. I let them know I’d go grab them a server, like I do to every table.
“Get us the one with the biggest tits hahaha”
I gave them the ‘disappointed parent’ look and told them “I’ll see what I can do” and went and found the only male server, who unfortunately was working on the opposite end of the restaurant. I told him he had a request in the bar, a couple guys looking for a waitress with big boobs if he wanted it. The two guys gave me the meanest look when he came out.
Apparently they just walked out when I was in BoH and the waiter was getting their drink order. Good riddance.
One time at my restaurant we had three guys come in and sit outside in our smoking patio. The only server outside was a dude who was cool as hell. After he took their order for me they went back to the host stand and asked for a female server. The host told the manager and he told them if they were going to behave like that then he didn't feel comfortable assigning them a female server, and said if it mattered that much they could go to Twin Peaks or Hooters. And they did. Loved that KM. He gave no f**ks and always stuck by us. His philosophy was that if we were sweating, then he was. He would back us no questions asked in front of customers. Great dude. Got screwed by the company but is happily with someone else now.
I'm surprised that no one has mentioned this yet. Why not give patrons like this one of those silly queue pucks and just have them wait without actually assigning the puck to the queue? Or, if you have to assign them to the queue make sure you note that they are looking for a server that can tolerate racist, sexist pigs.
Was a seating hostess. Once I got this elderly couple who came in, and the man commented that he wanted a "pretty, young female" server. He had been joking with me earlier, so I thought he was just joking about that as well. We were on a 30-minute waiting list, so customers generally were sat at whatever table was open next. Just so happened that "Alan's" section was open next. I sat them, let them know Alan would be over shortly, and the guy BLEW UP. I found them a new seat as soon as one became available, but the f**king chauvinistic pig kept threatening to report me to corporate for, ya know, not having a pretty woman available to serve him and his WIFE. F**k that guy. And f**k my manager for telling me that *I* was in the wrong.
Black People Can Make Tacos Too
So I work at a Tex-Mex (Americanized Mexican) restaurant, and was the first person on the row of people to put food together for customers. We weren't that busy, so me and the other workers were in the back chatting. As customers came in, I went to put on my gloves so I could make food without germs on everything. While I was doing that, I asked my coworker, who happened to be black, to go ahead and get the customers started, as he had his gloves on already. He got into position, and said as politely as possible, "Hi, what can I get for you today?" To which she responded "I want him to make it" and pointed at me. Now, at this point I had my gloves on, so I stepped up and started getting her food, but me and my coworker shared a glance like "is this b*tch for real?" As she got to the next section, where the same black coworker was, she told him "I told you already I want him to make it." When I told her that that wasn't how the ordering process worked, she demanded to speak to a manager. I went back to the next customers while my coworker got my manager. This woman started YELLING at my manager about how "black people don't understand Mexican food" and how "it's a disgrace to let them work here" and all that fun stuff. When my manager asked her what my coworker had done, she told him, and I quote "n*****s can't make a proper taco". When my manager asked her to leave, she screamed and raised a middle finger to us and stormed out. Sometimes I just don't know why people think they get to just sh*t on people.
Why Serve Them?
Serious question, why aren't you guys refusing service to people like this?
They probably aren't allowed to. Like only the manager/area manager/head office is allowed to ban people, maybe. Happens with some companies.
Seriously. As a manager, if I was told that this was going on, especially from repeat offenders, I would tell them we aren't serving them. Objectifying my staff and being blatantly racist has no place in a business I work at.
Don't Be This Guy
I work as a server and host at chain family restaurant.
So, last night, I'm hosting. It's slow so I'm hanging out in the back. I'm standing in front of the window traying up some food. A new server (She used to be a cook for us) comes up to me.
"Hey, I got this guy at 41... I gave him one shot and he's acting super drunk already. I think he was drinking before I got here. I think I need to cut him off, what do I say?"
I give her the run down, I tell her to be firm but polite. Server says she's scared, that he's been aggressive anyways. I grab our manager and we explain the situation, says she'll handle it.
Well. Not two seconds after my first manger cuts him off, he flags down ANOTHER manager. Just asks for another shot. This manager, not knowing what was happening, gladly says he'll get it going for them. Luckily, we were able to stop him before he brought another drink.
10 minutes go by, and the drunk guy stops one of the hosts, and talks to her for a long time. I'm watching from the kitchen. After she walks away she comes over the headset.
"Hey, elea_no, they guy at 41 is asking for you. He says he ordered a drink and hasn't gotten it. He just keeps asking for you."
So I am confused as hell and I tell the host that I'm not going over there. And that she and nobody else is to serve him. It's not my job to serve him and I have no idea why he's asking for me. At this point I haven't even stopped by the table.
My manager goes by the table again to tell him to quit harassing the staff, we're not going to serve him anymore. He begins yelling "I want elea_no! I want elea_no!" And my manager is telling him no, she's not going to get me. So at this point they ask for the check and get ready to leave.
As he's leaving out the door, he calls my name. I look up, and recognize this kid as someone i went to high school with. We always had classes together. He had always had a huge crush on me. I served him the last time he came in.
"Hey, elea_no, 'mere" we talk in the foyer between the two sets of doors. He says to me "The service f**king sucks here. That dumb blonde manager was a c*nt"
I am so taken aback I literally don't know what to say, so I unfortunately just let him continue. "and, I'm sorry, there's not better way to say this, but that other dumb n****r manager of yours unbelievable. And that Sp*c server is the worst of all, f**king cut me off like that. I only had one shot. F**king bullsh*t."
I'm standing there mouth open. I'm trying to find the right words. He ends his rant with, "But it's not a race thing, it's not. I know I'm wearing a confederate flag hat and sh*t, but it's not a race thing, it's just what they are."
I reply "Well, it's at the servers discretion, if she doesn't feel comfortable, then she has every right to refuse service. She's new and just being careful."
To wrap the mess in a little bow, his departing line is: "Alright whatever it's still bullsh*t, I'm never coming back unless you serve me. I'll see you later. Hit me up on Facebook when you turn 21! We could meet up for drinks!"
Yup. I'd love to meet up with a sh*tty, racist ass for some drinks. Thanks!
He walked out on his check.
I had a table who made some insanely rude remarks. 1. That they were glad they got a female server this time women should be serving and men should be cooking or managing. 2. Asks how many mexicans work in the kitchen. Answer 0. 3. Makes remark that the dishwasher must be mexican or native american. Answer nope college age white girl trying to pay her bills. They got the same no smile response for everyone of these remarks. First of all, cooking, dishwashing, and serving are not degrading jobs. Next assuming that all of these must be held by minorities is just straight up racist.
I was standing up at the Host Stand watching the door while the host was in the bathroom when I was approached by a 70 something older white Man with a bag stacked with to go boxes.
Me= M OWM= Old White Man
OWM: I need to speak with your manager.
M: Is there something I can help you with?
OWM: I just wanted to let you know that the food tonight was absolutely the worst meal I have ever had in my life.
Looks at to go bag filled with 3 large boxes of food, confusion washes over my face. M: I'm so sorry sir what seemed to be the problem with your meal?
OWM: Everything. I ordered the ribs and they were absolutely disgusting. I come here all the time and the food has always been mediocre but this time it was inedible.
M: Did you tell your server about the food quality? She would have replaced the slab for you. It only takes a few minutes to put the sauce on but the meat is already cooked.
OWM: I couldn't tell her.
M: You couldn't tell her? Like, she never checked on you?
OWM: No. I couldn't tell her because she isn't American. She wouldn't understand.
It clicked to me. He was seated in one of the other server's section who is Asian American. Her parents are Vietnamese, but she was born here, has always lived in the US and has never been to Vietnam. Doesn't have an accent, speaks perfect English. Because she's AMERICAN.
OWM: You know my Aunt owned a restaurant, and once she started hiring international people the place just went to shit and it closed within 6 months. You should really think about who you're hiring.
At this point, this dude has just seriously crossed the line. My adrenaline is pumping, and the dude is looking at me like he's waiting for me to agree with him and somehow validate this statement.
M: Sir, are you implying that your server's nationality had something to do with the quality of the food you received tonight?
OWM: Well you cant trust these international people to do the job like real Americans they don't care about good service.
At this point I'm losing my cool.
M: Sir, your server is American. She was born in America, has lived her ENTIRE life in America, and speaks perfect English. I was going to hear your concerns about the food quality, but now you've insulted me and my staff and I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
OWM with astonished look on his face, started yelling: Are you serious? You can't treat me like this! I didn't even do anything!
M: I'm absolutely serious you need to go.
OWM proceeds to walk out of the door yelling to anyone in earshot about how much of a trash dump my restaurant is and how he'll never come back.
That was the first day I ever cried at work in my whole 9 years in the industry. F that dude.
I work at a higher end restaurant/bar (new American fare, expensive whiskey) in a more upper class but super trashy still, neighborhood of my city.
Two men come to the bar and have a seat. They're a tad drunk I'm assuming, and whispering amongst each other and giggling.
I hand them their menus and as I fill their water glasses, they don't even look at the menu and one of them just says "I guess we're having sushi tonight." And the other burst out laughing and then they get up and leave. Laughing the whole way out.
The server at the pass was just standing there slack jawed as she hears it too. My face felt hot and I wanted to cry.
Sometimes people like that actually make me want to leave the service industry forever.
I'm Asian, btw. Hence the sushi joke. Filipino, not Japanese. But I digress.
I work in a Japanese steakhouse as a server and we had a table come in tonight (was ~4 adults and 3 kids) that my coworker ended up taking (she's Vietnamese this matters later). Later on when my coworker asked if they needed anything one of the kids who had to have been around 12 went, "Yeah Ling Ling I need a refill" I heard her say it and didn't even know how to react neither did my coworker, then the adults realized what she said and were laughing after my coworker walked away. Didn't end up saying anything about it but felt it was shitty and I wanted to say something but my coworker told me not to. But just your daily reminder some people just suck.
This took place in a very rich very white small Canadian town. I was working in the dining room of the local casino when an older lady and an older gentleman are sat in my coworker's section. My coworker is named "Michelle" and we'll call the lovely customer "RL".
Michelle is black, originally from the Caribbean, but has lived in Canada since early childhood.
Our kitchen staff is probably about 80% Filippino and Indian people.
Michelle: "Hi, good evening, how are the two of you doing today?"
RL: Long pause in which she stares at Michelle "Fine." The gentleman is silent.
Michelle: "I'm glad to hear it. Can I get the two of you anything to drink to start you off?"
Michelle tells me she didn't know how to react to that, so she asked if there was anything else she could get them at the moment, to which RL snarled: "Do you think we're ready to order?? Stupid girl send someone competant over here!"
Michelle, not visibly upset, asked me to take them. This seemed normal to me because she was about to be cut anyway and we frequently did little favours for eachother. She didn't tell me about the earlier interaction until later. I'm white.
I went over and greeted them and they seemed pleasent enough. I got them started with drinks, which they ordered without issue. After giving them some time with the menus I went over to take their orders.
Me: "All ready to order? What can I get for you this evening?"
RL: "Who's in the kitchen?"
Me: thinking she might know someone in BOH because why else would you ask that question? "Oh quite a few people are working tonight, are you thinking of someone in particular? "
RL: "No I mean" she gives me a significant look "who is in the kitchen?"
Me: confused "um... ??? ..." trying to figure out what to say, besides listing off 9 or 10 first names of the BOH staff
RL: "I want to know if there's any" her voice dips low like she's saying a really nasty word "Filippinos in your kitchen."
Me: every alarm going off in my head. Wtf is this I must be misinterpreting her, there's no way she's this blatantly racist
Me: "Well we have a very diverse staff here at (casino), which is something I really love about working here. There are quite a few Filippino people who work in the kitchen."
RL: "That's disgusting!! Touching the food??? I want to see a manager"
At this point I would have kicked her out if I had any kind of agency, but it wasn't that kind of job. I went and got Ravi, my manager. An Indian man with a fairly strong accent.
He approaches the table and asks what's going on.
RL: "You're the manager????"
Ravi: "Yes that's me."
RL threw her hands up in disgust and strode over to the blonde, blue-eyed, 18 year old bartender. By this time most people in the dining room were watching the shit-fit. She demanded that the bartender give her a corporate number. He told her she would need to ask a manager for that. Or she could try the lobby desk. He openly laughed in her face when her eyes bulged with fury. He pointed her towards the lobby desk where three east-asian women were helping customers. RL was literally shaking with rage when she collected her husband and stormed out.
She was a legend at that job, a story we told to newbies. I still can hardly believe anyone is that open about their racism in this day and age.
Sometimes, the not-so-subtle racism is coming from the other side of the table.
That's amazing. Good on you.
We had this really rude, racist server at our restaurant that would always tell the hosts not to seat her with anyone that wasn't white or anyone with kids. One time a host was sick so I picked up for her. I'm usually a server, so I didn't know that the other server expected this kind of filtering from me and sat her with a 4 top with two parents and two toddlers.
She tried to tell me not to seat her with any families or "anyone that speaks Spanish". The family had spoken English to me, but I could see she was just being racist.
I would never want to make anyone uncomfortable by seating them with a racist person, but I also wanted to teach this server a lesson. So I sat her with only people of color and people with children all night. I checked up on all of her tables to make sure they were still getting good service.
She was fuming, but what was she going to say to the manager? That I was following rotation? That she wanted to turn down 75% of our clientele and good money and I wasn't letting her? She quit a few months later and now somehow works for corporate at that restaurant. I have no idea how.
Thankfully, People's Reasons Aren't Always Sinister
Family is in pizza delivery, we had a customer that would always ask for female delivery people. It actually turned out to be completely innocent.
When he asked for a female delivery driver of course we sent out our biggest burliest guy for the first few deliveries because we assumed he was a pervert/creep. Never got to meet the guy. He'd leave a check in an envelope with a decent tip taped on the door and the driver would leave the pizza on a chair on his porch. Still assumed he was a pervert that was gonna snatch the pretty girl we sent out.
One day we showed up when there was a caretaker or family member there. She was a petite woman. She let us know he has MASSIVE agoraphobia and PTSD, and the reason he asks for a female driver is because a big guy coming down his driveway freaks him out way more than a small person (male or female), and women just tend to be smaller (we felt a bit bad about sending our biggest guy each time, but our safety has to be first). Now anyone is allowed to go to his house and people will try to snipe his order because he tips well.
Cities. Those things we live in.
What city would you never, ever, EVER live in?
These places, while inhabited by a good number of people, aren't exactly the kind of spots you would want to go back to on a repeat visit.
Transformed Into Something Unsettling
"For me, it's Mecca. It's beautiful, but it's just not for an openly gay Western dude like me."
"Same with Tehran."
"Im surprised you think Mecca is beautiful lol. I, along with almost every Muslim I know, hates what has happened to that place. The skyscrapers are extremely ugly (especially that goddam clock tower) and overshadow the beauty of the mosque. Almost all historical sites are gone except for the Kabah. I know they need infrastructure to handle all the people but they did it in the worst way possible."
"Mecca like almost every other Arabian city has turned into places for rich Saudis to show their wealth and almost nothing else."
"Irvington, NJ - My friend told me to run through every red light and not stop at any cost after I dropped her off at her apartment. Her wise words phased me as I stopped at the first red light. 3 seconds later a huge motherf-cker with a crowbar starts heading in my direction. 3 red lights all while screaming toward McCarter Highway."
"The following week my car was stolen while I was attending classes in Newark and they used my car to rob a liquor store in Irvington, NJ. Literally only owned my car for 2 weeks."
"F-ck Irvington, NJ."
The Literal Fast And The Furious
"Cairo, Egypt. 19 million people, 23 million cars, no stoplights. On a 3 lane road, you have 5 lanes of traffic, left shoulder, straddling first white line, middle lane, straddling 2nd white line, and right shoulder! When we visited, our tour guide told us we needed 3 things to drive there…"good brakes, good horns & good nerves!"
Cars are bumper to bumper, and then people are crossing the street in between the cars, walking, in wheelchairs, pushing baby strollers! Then along beside our bus, comes someone riding a donkey! Crazy. Soldiers with machine guns on the street corners, we even had an armed guard on our tour bus."
Then there are some cities, some you might never have visited, which have generated enough discussion and gotten enough publicity to be actively awful in your mind. You don't have to have gone there to know you never want to be there.
A Place To Skip Completely
"Mumbai. Even if I was financially secure, I couldn't stand seeing all the poverty and squalor all the time. It would weigh on me."
"A friend of a friend spent six months riding his motorcycle from London to Chennai. He recorded everything in his journal in excruciating detail except for Mumbai. There was only one sentence about Mumbai. It was about driving around Mumbai. He did everything you could imagine on the way, but decided to skip Mumbai completely."
Not All Of It. Just Some Of It.
"Paris. I used to hate all French people because of my experiences there, and then I met one who explained that there's basically two Frances; Paris and everywhere else, and then we bonded over bad mouthing the place and now my antipathy is more precise."
It's All In The Family
"LA, if you want half quality people, air, and living for double the price and problems, it might be for you"
"I have friends who live in LA, and swear it's awesome. But they actually live in Rancho Palos Verdes, in their parent's mansions."
And then there's cities like these.
Cities so bad an introduction isn't required.
What's Your Excuse?
"The Simpsons summed it up perfectly: "We were born here, what's your excuse?"
"I can laugh at this because I'm from Thunder Bay"
Booze. Sex. Sin. All The Best Family Values.
"Las Vegas. Fun to visit, but not where I'd want to raise my family."
"I think my first realization that people grow up and live in Las Vegas was at 16 or so when watching Criminal Minds and hearing that Spencer Reid grew up there. It was that record scratch moment. Wait, people LIVE IN and raise their babies in the city of sex, sin, and gambling? I felt stupid, of course, upon realizing that all the casino workers and strippers have to live somewhere, and might fall in love, and might marry and have kids."
"And then I had a second life-changing revelation when I realized people probably feel the exact same way about my home city, Miami. I was raised there and lived there for 2 decades. A lot of people have no concept of Miami outside TV and probably think my parents are horrible people who raised me in a den of yachts, Pitbull, cocaine, dirty money, bad boob jobs, and spring breakers. Meanwhile I actually lived in a very normal and boring suburb."
A Slow Decline Over Time
"Gary Indiana. Went through there when heading to O'hare & was not impressed. heard multiple gunshots when driving through."
"So I literally learned about Gary, Indiana from these threads where it always pops up as one of the worst places to live or be. Could you explain why it is so sh-tty?"
"Long story made short, Gary was a good place to live. Nice paying steel industry jobs. That went away. High crime rate, high poverty rate, and empty, falling down buildings everywhere. I used to live in Chicago and would avoid Gary when traveling at all cost."
Each city is different. What works for some might not be what works for others.
However, it does feel like some of these cities need to be at the top of your "Never Visit" list, don't they?
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Sex is fun. Sex is healthy. Sex should be enjoyed and always consensual. But often, sex can be dangerous, especially when you're trying out new things, like a new location.
Who hasn't thought about upping the adrenaline ante when it comes to sexytime? We've all been there. But some ideas really should just stay ideas.
Why break a hip or an arm just to make things a little more saucy? Just try a different room in the house, or the backyard, but bring bug spray.
And some areas in public are safety hazards for a reason.
Redditor u/playfulinvestment01 wanted to know about all the places we need to avoid when it's sexytime, by asking:
What is the worst place you had sex?
I can tell you from experience that airplanes are not a good idea. Don't ask me how I know. A lady never kisses and tells, but highlights are ok. There will never be enough room and the movies are lying.
Like Glue...Melissa Mccarthy Falling GIFGiphy
"I lived in Australia for a bit and our studio had this black pleather couch. It looked exactly like that casting couch meme so we tried it for fun once. My ex sweats a lot even when it's not 40C out, but it was and we stuck to the couch like glue."
"On a hike in a wildlife refuge. We went off the trail to a more remote area. Was all fun and games tell I got stung on the penis. Was after the event had ended when I was briefly exposed, the little moron went right at me. We joke about it regularly, I'd say it comes up monthly. Just out of the blue she will say "hey remember when you got stung on your penis?" Yes, I remember and will never forget."
Up a Tree
"A "treehouse" that was actually a plywood shack on 6' stilts. It was pretty old and the plywood was splintery, so he laid down an old towel for me (you know, like a gentleman.) Also it was too small for me to fit in any direction, so my head stuck out the door. I stared at the sky and just... And that's the story of how I lost my virginity! A close second would be the bed in his semi-abandoned house full of the semi-abandoned hoarded belongings of his mother. But that's a different story."
"Met a girl online and we tried to do it at the park. A cop showed up before we started and told us we had to leave. We went back to our cars which was at a small shopping mall. We went behind the shopping mall and got it on behind a dumpster. It worked out well so we met up there again a week later. Except that time, as we were walking away, a dump truck picked the dumpster to empty the trash. Was hilarious at the time but frightening looking back on it. This was about 10 years ago."
Keyed OffPiano Performing GIFGiphy
"I don't recommend on top of a piano. Very uncomfortable and not at all the experience we envisioned."
Scratchy...Screaming The Voice GIF by NBCGiphy
"Bottom of cliff next to the ocean. Turns out I have an allergic reaction to coral and my back was scratched the hell up from it. It was windy, wet, and itchy. Runner up is a movie theatre."
"In a literal smoke house... lost my virginity with about 50 rings of deer sausage hanging around to dry. My friend and his dad were gone and we were like "this seems like a great place!" At least when I went home I smelled like venison instead of sex."
"I'm not sure if this counts because we didn't get very far. But In a Burger King parking lot… He had a car, so we would park it someplace and hook up in the tiny little two-seater. I was sitting astride him and most of my clothes were off when he froze. I looked over my shoulder and the once abandoned parking lot was abandoned no more. A family of four were just staring at us through the windshield. We didn't know what to do so I just put my shirt back on and we drove away."
"we can hear everything"
"My childhood house had an enclosed porch that was level with my parents' bedroom window (it's hard to explain). You couldn't see into the porch from the window, but if the porch windows were open and the bedroom windows were open you could hear everything from either room."
"So my now husband and I were trying to have sex in that porch, having opened the windows cuz it was hot AH. My parents usually never opened their window and it was past ten, when they usually went to sleep. We weren't trying to be loud, but apparently we were."
"After we were done, I checked my phone and I had 5 missed calls and a text from my mother saying "we can hear everything" and "please at least use a condom". We didn't acknowledge it at the time but my mom got drunk a few years ago and told my aunt the story and said she was worried she was hearing the conception of her grandchild."
Ivy!jerry seinfeld help GIF by HULUGiphy
"After a drunken night on 6th st in Austin, girl and I were walking down red river st, she drags me in this bushy grassy area, we go at it, finish, call an Uber to west campus, continue going at it. The next day, we are super itchy, come to find later it was poison ivy, got it all over our genitals. Fun times. 10/10 would do it again though."
Also, be careful when and if you do it on a bus. You're never fully out of the driver's line of sight. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Be careful out there but have fun.
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Being a parent is one of the greatest challenges you'll face.
What did your parents do to you that made you promise that you would never do that to your own children?
You won't be in charge of your child forever. At some point, they're going to go out into the larger world, interact with other people, and suddenly all those little tics and quirks they developed at home will start to hamper their social progress.
Never Able To Hit The Pick-Up Time
"They always had me late or last minute to everything. I'll never do that to my kids because, having it done to me, I know it's all the parents fault."
"That feeling, when you are the last kid to be picked up after a school event that they didn't attend, and my teacher asking if I called, and if she said she was on her way, and how far away we lived, and then a big sigh while we continued to wait, in the dark, outside school, after everyone else has gone home, and me just wanting to disappear."
Forcing Them To Miss Out
"I was never allowed to hang out with friends outside of school. I had to go straight home and couldn't stay and hang out or go over to friends houses after school or on weekends. This went well into my senior year of high school. It sucked constantly feeling like I was missing out growing up."
Definition Of Overprotection
"Isolate them from the world."
"Growing up I see now that they wanted to protect me from how sh-tty things were, but now I feel a useless idiot. If I would've known as a kid that I had violent gang-related family, addicts, or that we were on welfare I could've found a desire to do better."
Taking on the care and responsibility of raising another human being to be a smart, compassionate, and well-meaning member of society shouldn't be easy. It should be a challenge.
Downplaying Their Accomplishments
"My parents never thought anything I did was a big deal. I LOVED art class but I remember showing my mom artwork and she'd tell me she could make that herself, ok thanks."
"Ouch, this brought back a painful memory. I always loved to sing but I was shy. I was also bullied and made fun of quite a bit. In highschool I finally joined choir and it helped me come into my own. I won first place awards at State Solo and Ensemble competition, student of the year in choir and even the Directors Award which was the highest honor given. My mom came to none of my performances. Not until Senior Night when I was the only performer singing a solo. I did the cliche song...Memory from the musical Cats. I got a standing ovation!"
"People who would typically refuse to speak to me approached me to tell me that they never would've dreamed I had that big, powerful, voice in me. I was just about floating with happiness and pride when I walked up to my mom and asked her what she thought. Her face twisted like she'd bit a lemon and she wiped out all my good feelings with the words, "Well, it probably isn't a good song for you. You sound like you were ATTEMPTING to sing opera and it's not supposed to sound like that."
Saying They Don't Quite Stack Up
"Compare them to other kids!!"
"This needs to be higher up. It's soooo insidious. Undermines so much about you, engenders the tendency for you to compare yourself to others, makes you needlessly resent the people they compare you to, but most of all, creates a sense that you'll never measure up or be 'good enough', not just for them, but in general."
Unable To Keep Their Minds At Peace
"The amount of anxiety I have/had from money related things is ridiculous. We were never poor, we were broke they just made bad decision after bad decision putting us in a stupid amount of debt"
Perhaps the most important part to remember when raising a child some adults might forget: You are the adult. Deal with your adult matters and let your child be a child. Don't bring them into your petty squabbles or unresolved affairs.
"My parents refused to address issues between my sister and myself. They hate conflict, so it was easier for them to guilt me into doing whatever my sister wanted and then praise me for being "good" than to ever put her in line. Being praised for always giving up what you want can really mess you up."
Lashing Out At The Other
"My parents were divorced since before I can remember. They did not get along very well when I was a kid. There was one weekend in particular where on the way to drop me off my Dad told me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Mother." Get home to Mom, she tells me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Dad." Best advice either of them ever gave me."
Asking The Child To Be The Adult
"They made their problems into problems for the whole family."
"They pulled us into everything. That's not fair to a kid. F-ck, I was straight out asked to fix things between them sometimes. No kid should be even the remotest bit responsible for their parent's relationship or fixing things that are wrong between them. That's f-cked up."
"We all have problems. We're human. No one expects perfection. But if you have a problem with your wife/husband? Don't bring the kid into it. Don't make it the kids' problem. Don't make the pain of the household -- which they're going to feel anyway -- somehow the kid's fault."
Don't want kids? Don't have kids.
Want kids? Be prepared to do everything you can to make sure that child has a supportive, strong upbringing. Don't let the mistakes of the past become the present.
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Animated movies meant for children have been known to sneak in a few dirty jokes here and there. After all, the parents have to sit through the movies with the kids too.
These "Easter eggs" can be found in virtually every movie meant for kids. It may go over our heads when we watch at age 10, but years later when we re-watch to enjoy a bit of nostalgia, we realize just how raunchy the creators were.
It's not just old movies from the 90s or early 2000s, some movies as recent as Frozen 2 have some moments of adult centered levity.
Redditor Pooky135790 wanted to know:
"What are the best adult jokes that are hidden in kids movies?"
These scenes really had us rolling.
Shrek definitely has a few innuendos.
"In Shrek talking about Snow White:"
"'Although she lives with 7 other men, she's not easy.'"
"Gets me every time!"
"The whole Duloc opening scene with the singing puppets. 'Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your…….face.'"
"Also in Shrek: when they get to Farquuad's castle, they note the large size of it, and Shrek asks if Farquuad is compensating for something."
"Kids will think it's a joke about his height."
"Adults will think it's a joke about his other kind of height."Giphy
Cars had plenty of jokes.
"In Cars when the two Miata ladies flash their pop-ups at McQueen"
"I didn't realize for years that that was the connotation."
"Look at that scene again and look at the photographers behind Mia."
"It took me a second but I think the one directly in the middle is zooming in on their posteriors lmfao."
- -Paintlightning mcqueen car GIF by Disney PixarGiphy
"Also the Piston Cup. 'He did what in his cup?!' Funny enough 10 year old me got that and my dad didn't."
Robots had it's fair share of moments.
"In Robots the [father of the] main character and his wife get the parts for their robot child and exclaim, 'Making the baby's the fun part!'"
"Also the old lady bot, Aunt Fanny, has a lot of junk in her trunk."
"There is that one scene from Ratatouille, when Linguini is about to confess about how Remy is in his hat cooking for him, and says 'I... have... a little... tiny...' and right after he says tiny, Collette quickly glances down at his pants. I never even noticed it until someone pointed it out to me because it is pretty subtle and can be easy to miss."
"Seriously the best dick joke in a kid's movie."
"That and the time when the short lil chef guy catches linguini in the pantry and says, 'One can become to familiar with vegetables, you know!'"Giphy
Coco really went there!
"In Coco, everybody laughs when they say Hector died 'choking on chorizo.'"
"'Choking on chorizo' is Mexican slang for sucking d*ck."
"I mean the song Hector sings to his dying friend has the implied, but not spoken, lyrics: 'And her tits they drag on the floor...' (he says 'knuckles' but the guy shouts, 'those aren't the words!')."
What a forgotten gem Monster House was.
"'That's it's uvula!' 'Oh.... So it's a girl house....'"
"Rick and Morty gets a lot of hate around here because of the sh*tty fan base, but Dan Harmon is a genuinely funny writer."
"Could not BELIEVE Dan Harmon was a writer on this 'til I googled Monster House; your point is a good one lol."
Even in Frozen.
"'Foot size doesn't matter' - when Anna from Frozen talks about her fiancé."
"Frozen 2, 'I like you better in leather anyway' when Kristoff dresses up for Anna at the end."
"My boyfriend and roommate and I all watched it and all three of us spat our drinks at that and we all did the 'Did we just hear what we think we heard?' look. Then we laughed for like 10 solid minutes."
Not a movie, but still good.
"There was an episode of Dexter's laboratory where the father kept going on about Dexter's mother's muffin, and saying he only married her for her muffin. The whole episode was filled with innuendo."
"'Your father is a muffin fiend, a muff-o-maniac, just the aroma can make him crazy.' Lol. Had to see it for myself."
"Season 2 ep 18 The Muffin King."
"There was the episode about DeeDee and Dexter having decoder rings! DeeDee says Dexter's club is for big 'I-D-K-S-C' Dexter decodes it, gasps, and says he's gonna tell mom. Lol."Giphy
Children's shows may be for kids entertainment, but they're created by adults. No doubt they're going to slip in a few naughty jokes here and there.
Time to re-watch some old favorites and see what we missed when we were younger.