Doctors Reveal The Weirdest Anomalies They've Discovered In A Body
I've never seen anything like that before.
Science isn't stagnant. New technologies and new sets of eyes on a problem mean we're always going to learn more about concepts we thought he had on lock-down for years. Remember Pluto?
That's right.
Remember.
Medical science is no different, and even the most experienced doctors can be caught off guard with what they find inside the human body, something we thought we knew everything about.
Reddit user, u/ravrotinez, wanted to know about the most ridiculous things doctors have seen in a human body when they asked:
Doctors/Medical Examiners/Morticians of Reddit, what is the weirdest anomaly you've ever found on/in a body?
A Memory...A Haunting, Haunting Memory...
A mummified fetus - I was working in Africa and the usually very stoic Congolese surgeons called me in to theatre, gagging - the patient was an elderly woman with a protruding abdominal mass. When they opened it, they found that it was a long, long dead mummified fetus which as a result of an ectopic pregnancy, had somehow managed to both wall off after it died and somehow avoid killing the mother. Her body had encapsulated the alien tissue and over the years, it had slowly eroded her interior abdominal wall to the point where it finally caused her to have enough symptoms to get something done about it.
It was horrific and the smell was worse.
Happily, though, the patient survived the procedure and just left the surgical team with a .. memory.
Pops Always Said To Grow A Spine
One of our cadavers had two spinal cords, aka split spinal cord malformation.
Edit: just a first year med student here folks. Unfortunately it's against our school's policy for me to even take photographs, yet alone share them. One of our groups during our laminectomy (removing the back of your vertebra to expose spinal cord) lab, once they cut into the dura mater (the tissue that wraps around the spinal cord) noticed a spit cord in the in the thoracolumbar region, side-by-side. Our lead anatomist was very excited to see this and had the whole class come see. Apparently it's not the most incredibly rare thing, but it is the weirdest anomaly I've seen thus far.
Edit 2: So a lot of people are mentioning Spina Bifida. From what I understand in my studies, that would be the result of bones in the spine not forming correctly. This was not what we saw. There were no signs of prior surgery or herniation of the meninges.
Was There Also A Motorcycle?
Weirdest thing was in a woman's intestine- a dead mouse.
Tiny little thing.... obviously never got the chance to ask how the mouse got there as this was post mortem. Definitely unexpected though...
When Your Body Confuses Its Own Organs
She isn't dead, but this week i saw a patient with endometriosis in her lungs.
Somehow, womb-lining cells had travelled to her thorax and colonised on the lung. She previously had symptoms of coughing up blood while menstruating, but because the endometriosis was so severe, was on the pill to stop her periods entirely.
Then she came off it to have a baby, and after the birth, with her hormones all over the place, she developed two pulmonary embolisms (blood clots in the lung), and a few weeks after that, three successive pneumothorax (collapsed lung). The womb cells had tried to shed, and made a hole between the airways and the sac surrounding the lung, letting air escape.
She's deciding now whether to let the surgeons cut out the part of her lung with the endometrial cells, to go back on the pill for life, or to have a full hysterectomy and remove her ovaries. Tough choice at 32.
Up Is Down, Black Is White, Left Is Right
I was a combat medic in the Army.
Not super super uncommon (about 1 in 10,000 people have it), but I had a buddy with situs inversus. All of his major internal organs were reversed (heart on the rights side instead of the left, for example). As soon as he got to the unit, it was the first thing he told me. Wanted to make sure if he got hurt I wasnt curious as to why he had no heart, I guess.
Edit to say: Had to look up the name and how uncommon it is, because it's been a few years since I got out and he's literally the only person I've ever met like that. I was honestly surprised at how common it actually is, I figured it'd be more rare.
That's Not How The Keto Diet Works
My colleague was embalming an autopsied male and found two hairnets, numerous plastic tissue sample slides, a plastic urine container (with another person's name on it) and over twenty seven latex gloves within his abdominal cavity...
Sounds Like A Typical "Good Idea" From A Young Boy
Doctor here, general prac and young, so not many experiences.
I had this kid (8) and his mother come to the ped triage about a cold.
As soon they came in they filled the room with stench, like a wound festering, that humid and rancid smell. Kid had a runny nose, but secretions were comming from a single nostril. Upon examination we found the sinusal cavities filled with cotton.
Apparently the kid had this funny idea of stuffing one nostril with cotton and shoving it up inside with a stick as far as he could. We had to call the specialist to remove a lot of VERY deep cotton that was of course a picnic field for bacteria.
Kid probably isn't going college but he won't be lacking new ideas.
Just In Case You Needed A Reminder:
In my anatomy lab, my groups's cadaver had died from systemic complications of stage 4 lung cancer and when we got to the lungs they were two rock hard, necrotic blackened masses that looked nothing like the other cadaver's pink and spongy lungs.
My anatomy prof took one lung out and wrung it resulting in this putrid black goo flowing out of the lung.
As he was draining the lung, he mentioned...
"This. This is what happens when you smoke"
An Injury That's More Of An Inconvenience
Pretty memorable to me. I'm a doctor was working in OT (anesthesiology)
An emergency came in the afternoon. Apparently the patient is a fisherman and got into a fight with his fisherman friend.
Patient was impaled by a spear gun. The spear entered just lateral to his belly button and came out just above his right hip.
He actually held this 6 ft long spear going through his body and walked into the emergency room by himself. When it was time to put him under he wasn't scared /anxious. He said "just fix me up so I can go find that guy".
Medical History
Guy came in for an outpatient MRI of his cervical spine. On the form where it asks if he ever had any metal in his body (specifically asks if any injured by a metal object) he selected no. Same with a verbal questionnaire. Also we do a keyword search in the patients hard chart for the term foreign body incase it's documented- nothing came up.
He lays down, and I start taking images while talking to him though the speaker. During one of the image sets- he starts pounding on the inside of the scanner and screaming. Figured he was claustrophobic- so I stop the machine and get him out. Immediately he jumps up and starts talking nonsense and runs into the wall, screaming he needs to get away from the 'ocean'. I call overhead for emergency room staff to come down and security as he's flailing, continues screaming and running into the wall before we restrained him.
The staff rush down, and he's talking a mile a minute and explaining how he is inside of the poster of the beach that covers the entire wall in the room he's in, scared out of his mind and hallucinating. Security restrains him, and he's taken down to get an X-ray of his skull. There was a BB in his frontal lobe. It had just enough ferrous metal left in it to travel a few millimeters in his brain. In the emergency department he kept trying to escape, and was very fast. While unrestrained he got up (somehow convinced the guard he was 'better'). Patient bolted out of his room into the main hallway. A code was called for a lost patient. For over an hour nobody could find him, until a nurse looked into a large storage closet. Poor guy was found in a pool of blood. He crashed into a large mirror that was leaning on the wall, and had severe lacerations of his neck, face and arms. Efforts were made to transfuse him but it was too late. Still haunts me how a simple BB from 40 years earlier could do that. Discovered his brother accidentally shot him with a BB gun when they were kids.
Dude I hope his brother never finds out. I dunno about him, but I'd be so fucking guilt riddled if I found out that my f up from 40 years earlier had gotten my brother killed.
Tiger Stripes Mean "Grrrreat!" Right?
Neurologist here..we don't get as many cool stories as the ER docs. However, when I was a medical student we had a cadaver with a very large and very tiger stripe tattooed penis. This was the only tattoo this man had, and was very unexpected when it came time to genital dissection. Obviously, this was saved by the staff for use on all of our anatomy exams (you walk around the room to different parts/bodies and identify whatever is tagged, and this specimen was always identifiable by the only laughing medical student as they kept rotating around the room).
They say you die twice... Once when you stop breathing and once when someone sees your penis for the last time.
Nail On The Head
ER nurse; man comes in after a car accident, we do a brain scan for safety and find a 3 inch nail imbedded in his brain. Ask man about it, he says he has no idea. Admits he was once shot with a nail gun but HAD NO IDEA A NAIL HAD BEEN LODGED IN HIS HEAD. Had been there for well over 4 years.
You Are What You Eat
Father owns a crematory, we once cremated a man (with no clothes and not in any container) and along with his ashes came a massive belt buckle. I kid you not, we have no idea how it got in him but it was definitely there.
Let's All Say A Prayer For Poor Peter...
I now get to add another one in this thread..... A rabbits foot ( yes, it was a real one) in a 22 year old males rectum. COD was a car accident. I think I've literally seen it all....
That Sound You Hear Is Yourself Fainting Because WOW
I'm an Emergency Trauma Nurse at a busy hospital. Within the last few weeks, I had a 69 (nice) -year-old man come in with a full size screwdriver up his butt, handle first. He informed me that his "girlfriend puts it up there for funsies, but he normally can poop it out." X-ray available if the public demands it. Also, last Halloween, a woman came in with a whole, intact apple in her bum. We politely informed her she was incorrectly bobbing for apples. Finally, I spent over an hour with a middle-aged man who discovered "a big lump in my throat that moves when I swallow." The man stared at me is disbelief as we had a discussion on Adam's Apples.
Emergency Departments are never boring!
A Mass of...What?
Newbie doctor here! This is one of the more interesting cases I've seen so far... 27 year old woman came in to the ER with a complaint of a nonproductive cough, night sweats and unintentional weight loss. I automatically thought TB as its still endemic here despite vaccination and free meds.
So this woman is definitely on the thin side, but what didn't match up was her pot belly. I asked if she was pregnant, she said no her last period was 3 weeks ago, preg test confirmed not pregnant. And she did have exposure to TB, her dad had it before he died recently but apparently completed the 6 month treatment regimen. His death was not tb related.
Did a physical, lungs sounded clear, heart was good, a bit pale so probably anemic secondary to infection, abdomen globular, soft and nontender with no masses felt.
My consultant wanted to get an abdominal ultrasound to find the cause of the abdominal distention in addition to a chest xray. But her sister actually wanted to skip the ultrasound and go straight for a ct scan and are willing to pay for it. Ok, sure!
So she was admitted, chest xray confirmed tb so meds were started. CT scan also done, and the scans showed a gray, well defined homogenous cystic mass in her pelvis. Refer to ob-gyne!
So with gyne on board, they decide to investigate the mass, monitoring her abodominal girth - that fluctuated daily- and weight, and also getting that ultrasound. So yes, definitely a mass, but its NOT coming from her ovaries, bladder or uterus. Got a build up of ascites (fluid) in ther abdomen too.
So time for an abdominocentesis! Cytology, gram stain, and culture and sensitivity done. Cytology comes back with the answer to what the mass is. It's genitourinary tuberculosis. So she got her meds, and needs to have a follow up every couple of weeks for the next 6 months, but should be fine.
I wish there was more done for TB here in the Philippines, people are so blasè about a TB diagnosis, or being exposed. So many people die from this everyday without realising the tb meds are free from the department of health. Its an awful way to die, wasting away, struggling for each breathe, bleeding out into their own lungs followed by death. I can't believe this still happens in this day and age.
Do NOT Google This.
I've just remenbered a horrible story happened when I was a student and practiced in the ENT ( ear, nose and throat) department of a national hospital.
A young girl came to us bacause she vomited a round worm. She told us that she had used a pill of 500mg mebendazole the day before to regularly deworm, after that she had a good night's sleep. But the worst part is that she had found a round worm on her pillow when she had woken up. It hadn't stopped. She had felt something wrong in her throat and immidiately had vomited again - a round worm which had been still alive. She had became panic and had gone to the hospital.
The doctor decided to do a larynx endoscopy, then we found and carried out another one in her larynx. The doctor said that the amount of worms in her intestine had been so much so that drug couldn't work effectively. Some of them was still alive and they moved around to find another suitable enviroment - in this case it was stomatch and mouth. Sometimes they could move out through nose or fundament, sometimes they could move to liver or gallbladder... But rarely it had appreared in larynx or mouth. We introduced her to the parasitology department and I 've never heard about her again.
The worst things with me that was we had rice noodles for lunch in the canteen.
It was 'ascaris lumbricoides' if you want to google.
Not The Hole In One He May Have Wanted
Here's another weird one... 3 golf balls in a mans stomach. His cause of death was lung cancer. Still trying to figure out how he ate golfballs/how long they were in there considering he was on life support for 2 weeks before he died.
Apparently there's a new type of golf ball that rolls into the hole if you get it within 4 inches of the hole. He probably just tried to keep them in his back pocket.
"Oh Yeah, This One Time, I Got Shot."
Young man comes in complaining of headache. I work in radiology.
We ask for history. Nothing to report, he says.
We scan his head. CT shows a bullet rattling loose inside his sphenoid sinus (kind of between the nasal cavity and the brain).
I asked the guy: "Have you ever been shot in the face?"
"Oh, yeah, I guess I forgot to mention that."
Edit: Okay this blew up. To clarify, the guy had been shot in the face a few years earlier, never sought treatment for it. The bullet had somehow missed all the vital structures.
H/T: Reddit
Though it's often used as the butt of jokes, there's still a lot to appreciate in the United States, whether you live there or are visiting.
But there are also a lot of things that leave onlookers infinitely perplexed about what it's actually like to live in the United States and why they do things like that.
Redditor DadIsMadAtMe asked:
"What’s the hardest thing for you to comprehend about the American culture?"
School Pride!
"School mascots. Where I live, we just have teams and just play matches against people."
"In America, it’s all like, 'GO, EASTTOWN EAGLES!!! OOGACHACKA!' and there would be some person in a cheapo eagle suit spinning a basketball on his fingers or something. You would have a full dramatic cheerleader dance-off before your match, we just shake hands and stare hard at each other."
- benderbrodriguez2
No Child Left Behind
"Canadian here on spring break in Florida."
"I can't get over the baseline... I don't know how to say it, the baseline education level? There are smart people, but there are also completely uneducated people. Like, the divide is massive."
- Spiffydude98
Little-To-No Paid Time Off
"Having two weeks vacation or no PTO (Personal Time Off) for most."
"In my current country, you have to take two weeks of mandatory leave in a row. Including public holidays, I get about seven weeks of vacation per year."
- poor_decision
Financial Debt Culture
"How casual debt is, how easy it is to take loans and credit cards out in other people's names without their knowledge, and how casual it is to rack up huge amounts of debt."
- StrangeDarkling
...Enough Said.
"College fraternities."
- Gorazde
Where's the Poutine?
"Americans love french fries, cheese, and gravy, but poutine never took off south of the border. Always found that odd."
- righhanddan
Zero-Tolerance Policies
"The zero-tolerance rule... Who came up with that s**t? The victim is the one who is f**ked. Either he gets bullied or he gets a penalty for defending himself."
- vomahaf244
Political Followers
"A lot of people follow and worship politicians like they’re gods with flags and all that s**t. In the UK, it’s universally acknowledged that we hate all politicians pretty much equally."
- Monkeytennis01
Tipping Culture
"Having to tip almost everywhere. It definitely makes sense at some places, but feel like we have to tip at the most random of places these days."
- Educational_Word_647
Cultural Appropriation
"I speak as a Latin American, just setting that down on the table."
"I don’t get why people think that using something from my culture or showing interest in Latin culture is 'cultural appropriation.' I’ve even spoken to a lot of people in my culture about this thing and we all think it’s alright."
- OG_sweaterguy
Healthcare
"Your healthcare system, it's so complicated and expensive. And people going bankrupt because they get sick, what bulls**ttery is this?"
- MrTempleDene
The Stereotypical American Eagle
"American here, fun fact! That stereotypical screech you commonly hear associated with the bald eagle is actually a red-tailed hawk. Bald eagles do not make that sound. They make more of a weird (way less cool) chirping sound."
"I was too old when I learned this for the first time."
- ay-aye-ron
Plus Tax... What?
"Why don't they include tax in the total price of something? Just include it and make life easier. I don't want to have to do maths every time I go there and buy something."
- Old_Understanding325
Not In That Exact Order
"You are allowed to drive a car at 16, own guns, and sign up for the military at 18. But alcohol, behold the devil's liquid!, is only for 21+. The math ain't mathin'."
- lover_of_wisdom_
Money Money Money Money
"Lobbying."
"Legal bribery, what the h**l."
"Also, why do you have to do your taxes? If the Government, in the end, knows if what you paid was what you actually owed, why not just tell you."
- Lolleos
People looking in on the United States definitely had some questions about the people who live there and the systems they have to observe. But the big secret is that many Americans are asking the same exact questions.
People Confess Which Things They Swore They'd Never Do As A Kid But Ended Up Doing Anyway
When you were younger, your protected perspective on life and the world was probably significantly different compared to now.
Before life experience informed your decisions, younger you most likely had higher aspirations to achieve a specific goal or swore off doing something you found objectionable.
But here you are, as an adult, doing the exact opposite of what you had intended.
Curious to hear from strangers online about their developmental growth, Redditor 1234kyou_ asked:
"What did you swear in your childhood you would never do, but ended up doing anyways?"
Some hobbies that delighted us as kids never really go away as these Redditors have experienced.
The "Bird Creep"
"Birdwatching. I used to think it was the lamest way someone could spend their time when I was a kid. How could anyone just sit around and look at birds? What are you, some kind of bird creep? ... 20 years later and I'm obsessed with birds. Love hearing their songs and seeing all the beautiful colors."
– Koala-teas
Unfilled Dream
"Give up drawing."
"I actually broke my own heart when I recently found a school project we did back when I was a kid. We had to write a letter for our future selves and mine starts with: 'Hey, did you become an artist already? I really hope you did not become a boring adult with a boring job who gave up on his dreams and passions.'"
"Well, sorry little me, but I kinda did."
– Aesma_
Tending To One's Garden
"Gardening. We had a large garden. We raised and preserved what we grew. It was me and my sister's job to care for this garden. This was back when whipping your child was acceptable punishment. I was whipped sooo many times, because I hated that I had to grew and preserved vegetables I did not like. I hated it! Swore I'd never have a garden. Never do THAT to my kids. Then I had kids. A switch flipped in my head. I had to have a garden! I never made my kids take care of it. Gardening was my 'me' time. But being little kids, they wanted to be with mom and 'help' with the garden. I 'gave' them an area and they were allowed to grow whatever they wanted. If it was a fruit or vegetables , they had to eat it. As a result, they both love gardening and neither are picky eaters."
– Eogh21
When it comes to keeping it in the family, it's not always the goal.
Like Father...
"I have become my father."
– jer1303
Like Mother...
"I have become my mom.... even the voice is similar."
– rogue1206
Dad's Cynicism
"I've taken on a lot more of my dad's cynicism than I would like, but mostly I have my mom's wonder and carefreeness."
"But my dad is rich and mom is poor."
"He does not share the wealth he just shares 'you should've done X like this'. But his advice is the level of 'tear down the sign punch them in the face and say you're looking at your new employee'. I've also never heard a single dad joke from him."
– BugTester350
Posthumous Disapproval
"When I was touring houses to buy before the pandemic, my mother's spirit must have possessed me because I opened my mouth and her voice said 'i don't know, i don't think I could live in a house without both a coat closet and a linen closet.'"
– TJtherock
Adulting is hard.
The Financial Hole
"Get into debt I can't pay off."
– lilviviv
Potty-Mouth
"I said I wouldn’t curse unless a nuke was dropped on my house. That was a f'king lie."
– -notjosh-
Can't Wait, Don't Hate
"Have sex before marriage. Thank f'k I never made good on that one since I'm 41 and have never been married."
– squid1891
I'm a pretty fussy eater. Always have been.
I grew up in a Japanese family where regularly eating natto was a thing.
Natto is a Japanese dish made from Bacillus subtilis-fermented soybeans. It's known to have magical health benefits but the smell is overwhelmingly powerful, and the nutty taste leaves little to be desired.
Many people not used to eating exotic foods can't stand the flavor and slimy, sticky texture–let alone the pungent aroma.
I swore as a child that would be the one food I would never eat again after having a bad experience.
And yet, here I am as an adult, eating it for breakfast 2-3 times a week after truly understanding the health benefits.
Natto–which is rich in protein, vitamins, and minerals– helps maintain healthy cholesterol levels, reduces blood pressure, and can prevent heart disease. Some studies have suggested it can prevent certain cancers.
Once I trained myself to get used to flavor and smell, I actually crave it now.
It's definitely an acquired taste, but it's crazy to know that we are all capable of liking or appreciating something previously thought of as repulsive once we set our mind to it.
Finding love is something that nearly everyone hopes for at some point in their life.
For some, love practically finds them. They hardly need any time searching for the true love.
Others might have to work a little harder and be a little more patient. They never give up the hope that their one true love is out there, somewhere.
Then there are those for whom the search simply isn't worth it and have found themselves resigned to the fact that they may never find someone.
Whether or not that's how they want their life to be.
"Have you given up on love, if so why?"
Fear Of Getting Hurt
"To me the price I have to pay if I want to be in a relationship is I have to be vulnerable."
"And at some level I just don’t want to get hurt that bad again."
"I accept this, and have family, friends, work, hobbies, and things to look forward to."
"So while I wouldn’t say I have given up on love, I’m not looking for it and would be very wary of any new situation."- hdhdhdhdzjursx
"Gotta be honest, pretty much have."
"The last person I loved romantically found just about every way to put me down and reject me, all the while pulling me back in repeatedly."
"It was not worth it."
"I'm going solo but still kind of hoping for Miracle."
"I like me."- ATXDefenseAttorney
Don't Have The Energy
"Yes, because I'm tired."
"Tired of going out to find someone to love, tired of getting to know a new person and being comfortable enough to fall in love, tired of learning new things about this new person and whether we are compatible, tired of meeting each other's families and getting to know a whole new bunch of people..."
"Being single may be lonely, but I won't be exhausted."- Avelevanstar
"Not sure if I've given up, but I am getting real tired."
"Having to get to know new people, putting my heart out there without knowing if I'll succeed this time, so tiring."
"I'm learning more about myself in therapy, and I've seen ladies' heads turn when I speak, I've been told I have a nice voice, but chasing a lady is so much work for so little payoff."
"Never had a girlfriend before too, and I'm hitting 40 soon."
"Each new lady is a learning experience but it's also incredibly draining."
"Sometimes I just wanna curl up on my bed and ignore the whole world."- Blim004
It's Given Up On Them
"I haven't given up on love, but I doubt I will ever love again."
"After 53 years and so many attempts that ended in tears, I don't think I will ever have that chance again for a variety of reasons."
"I spend times just trying to come to terms that I will die alone someday."- kalwayne3573
For Their own Self-Care
"Yes."
"For now."
"Need to repair myself so the next guy doesn’t have to do it for me."- Beginning-Match592
Lack Of Reciprocation
"Given up on love as I am the only one loving, the others just need me."
"When they're done, they push me away."- gameygamer15
Traumatized By Past Mistakes
"Ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love?"
"So that's why, though I hope time will heal me or sth."- guess_I_feed
"I was in a 10-year abusive relationship."
"Unfortunately I didn’t realize until very late and then I ended it."
"It’s too much of a risk to meet someone again as these type of people are very manipulative and you don’t realize the cruelty they are capable of until you are trauma bonded."
"It’s not easier being single but it’s a lot less heartache."
"I thank my lucky stars every day that I got out."- corickle
"My last four love interests either cheated or 'found a girlfriend'."
"It's left me believing I'm just not a person who can be romantically loved."- Owlmystery
Happy Being Alone
"I’m not capable of giving someone my all and I enjoy my time alone more than anything."
"Two failed marriages later, we chillin."- HDTempo
Life Is Good The Way It Is
"I had a big love."
"It didn't work out."
"Now I live a truly beautiful life alone and I wouldn't trade it for the world."
"I just spent the weekend with my friend, her toddler, new puppy and failing marriage and when I got home I nearly cried with the feeling of gratitude for my peaceful life."- spice-pop
"On romantic love, yes."
"I have so many social aversions and require so much space that I'm neither capable or interested to nurture such a relationship."
"I'm happier and more functional on my own."- USAIsAUcountry
Literally Don't Know What They're Missing
"Never been loved before, can't miss what I haven't experienced."- Allnutsz
Social Anxiety
"I wasn't socialized from the ages 12-22 and have severe social anxiety."
"It's hard to meet people when you're terrified of them."- owe-me
The true romantics should never give up the hope that their soulmate is out there, somewhere.
That being said, being without a partner is nothing to be ashamed of.
As the only person in control of your own happiness, is you and you alone.
Hiring Managers Explain Which Mistakes Make Them Want To Throw Away Someone's Resume
A resume is so much more than just a simple list of your work experience.
Indeed, your resume is the first step in getting your foot in the door to your dream job, highlighting not only your past experience but your skill set, as well as things about you that will make recruiters want to get to know you more.
On the flip side, sometimes there are things on your resume that will automatically send you to the reject pile.
Of course, this is bound to include common, careless mistakes such as spelling and grammar errors or missing vital information, such as a phone number or email.
However, no two hiring managers will have the same set of red flags they look for on a resume. This can make finding a format that will please everyone something of a fool's errand.
"Hiring managers of Reddit: What makes you immediately throw out a résumé?"
Not In It For The Long Run
"I once received an application from a man in his 60s."
"Solid CV, lots of experience."
"In his cover letter he wrote 'I'm applying because the Job Centre asked me to'."
"Please note that I intend to retire in 6 months time'."
"We had a good laugh, then sent him a very polite rejection letter and wished him a great retirement."-BeerPoweredNonsense
Make Sure They Actually Get The Right Document...
"One time I had someone upload how to upload their resume from Dropbox instead of their resume."- rabidwhale
Always Proof Read!
"I'll usually still interview unless there is no relevant experience, but I've seen some atrocious resumes."
"I've seen people use crutch words like 'uh' in writing for a job description."
"I've also seen a sentence 4 lines long with zero punctuation."
"The same resume will have 'attention to detail' as a skill set."
"I've interviewed for one of those resumes, and the applicant said 'I dunno" to about 80% of my questions, and it turned out he didn't even know what job he applied for'."
"It's not that I'm overly picky, but if someone can't spend the 20 minutes or less that it takes to proof read their resume, are they going to put a lot of effort into their job?"
"Maybe, but it's hard to know."- ChristyM4ck
Make Sure It's Legible
"The only time I have ever had to throw out a resume was because someone possibly had it in a bag with their lunch and the paper was soaking wet and dissolving as I tried to unfold it."
"It was just unacceptable to process."
"The application was left in a drop box so I don’t know if it was a prank or an actual applicant."- 416unknown
Unprofessional Email Address
"Back in 98 I asked a new group of hires at GIECO to write their email addresses on a list that was passed around."
"Remember email was kinda new back then.. "
"One young female employee's email address included 'mybaldc**tchie'."- catjugglinpimp
Never Send Someone In Your Place
"It’s been a long time but I used to do hiring for a cinema."
"Staff were often young, for many it was a first job, making popcorn and selling tickets type of gig."
"I would not pursue anything where parents came in with a CV for their teenager or if parents were contacting me on behalf of their teen."
"Big red flag."
"Either their kid didn’t want he job in the first place or they’re incapable of taking initiative and it doesn’t bode well for how they’d be as an employee."- FigJamAndCitrus
"Having your parents submit your resume while you stand silently beside them."- krim2182
It's Pure, Dumb Luck!
"I remember a meme or maybe a tv skit from a while back."
"The hiring manager had a huge pile of resumes on his desk."
"Someone asked how he was going to sift through them all."
"He took 2/3rds of the pile, threw them in the trash, and remarked 'I don't hire unlucky people'."
"Lol."- SpecialSpite7115
All About The Formatting
"This doesn’t matter 100% of the time but bad formatting."
"If it’s hard to read I probably won’t read it."- Far-Gain-3081
Depends On The Job
"If it's a professional position, significant spelling errors will make me pass on a resume."
"If it's a warehouse job or something, I'm less concerned."- staffsargent
Don't Treat It Like A Text Message!
"Former hiring manager here."
"I tossed MULTIPLE resumes that used text message abbreviations throughout the resume and cover letter and one that included emojis."
"While you can do pretty much anything from your phone, it doesn’t mean you should."- spectacularuhoh
Choose Your References Wisely
"Not me, but a friend who checks resumes/CVs had a belter."
"Candidate had a conviction and his reference was his friend 'Baz'."- LexiRae24
Make Sure You Have The Relevant Skills
"I know it’s pretty specific but If your looking for a scheduling job make sure you know how to use Excel and clearly state it on your resume."
"It will probably get thrown out otherwise."- LoyalPlanets
As stated before, no two hiring departments will have exactly the same prerequisites and red flags, so no matter how hard you work, your resume is never going to please everyone.
That being said, multiple misspellings and a cheeky e-mail address are a surefire guarantee of not pleasing anyone.