At least try to be sober on entrance.[rebelmouse-image 18347306 is_animated_gif=
I worked in a college bar in Ohio my senior year and on two occasions I had students hand me pieces of paper that said "I am 21" and on one occasion I was handed a Spongebob Squarepants boaters license.
Darwin done proud![rebelmouse-image 18347307 is_animated_gif=
There was a kid in our year who made the local paper, he got arrested for trying to buy beer with his older brothers library card (not even something with a DOB on) and trying to pay with a photocopied £5 note that was twice the size of an actual note.
Saddest thing was, he only got arrested as he was told to get out by the shop manager, he then assumed the police had been called and scaled a local telegraph pole. This led to the police really being called by a concerned passerby, who then received a full confession from the kid.
I can't actually remember the guys name, but everytime I read a 'Darwin awards' nomination list I think of him and people like him.
Boys will be boys.[rebelmouse-image 18347309 is_animated_gif=
Used to cashier at a little burger place that also had an ice chest with beer bottles at the front counter.
On a very slow weekday afternoon, a chubby teenage boy who looked around 13-years-old walked in by himself and awkwardly ordered a Coors Light. No food or anything, just a beer. I flatly told him _"I.D. please." _He gave me a blank deer in the headlights stare, robotically patted his chest, waist, and upper leg like he was pretending to search for pockets that weren't even there, and replied _"Oh, I must have left it in my car. I'll be right back."_
So the kid scurried outside, hopped on his bicycle and zoomed off.
Smokers are relentless.[rebelmouse-image 18347310 is_animated_gif=
Kind of the reverse, when I was 19 I had a younger cashier tell me my ID was fake. It wasn't.
I was infuriated and she eventually just sold me the cigarettes anyway and said, "Get a better fake ID next time."
I really wanted to go talk to her manager and tell them that not only did she call my valid ID a fake, but she sold me cigarettes thinking it was fake.
Can you count?[rebelmouse-image 18347311 is_animated_gif=
Years ago I worked at a gas station, and had quite a few under 18 friends that would constantly bug me to sell them cigarettes. Sometimes I did, sometimes I didn't - depended on the day, what other coworkers were there, and my mood.
I got a text one day from a buddy who's 17 asking if he could come in for a pack. My boss was working behind the counter, but doing financials or whatnot, not cashiering. Text him back "Yeah, I have to ask you for an ID, so show me yours and I'll pretend its good, and we'll be set"
So dude comes in, asks for a pack of marb reds, I ask for his id.
In his proudest moment, he slams down an ID. I pick it up to 'scrutinize it' and its his little brother's learning permit. I almost lose it laughing, like, why would you show me someone younger's id you fool?
Selfie obsessions aren't healthy, clearly.[rebelmouse-image 18977619 is_animated_gif=
I had a kid who looked to be about 11 come in and want to buy a 6 pack. His ID said he was 33 was stamped with "for novelty use only" all over it. The best part was his picture was a full body selfie of him taped on the front.
Show who you really are.[rebelmouse-image 18977620 is_animated_gif=
Bouncer at a bar, we were using the black light on IDs one night (obviously we were shining it all over each other like a bunch of idiots as well). Anyway this little blonde white girl comes up and hands me her Florida ID. The thing with Florida IDs is that they have a small hologram of the persons driver license photo in the bottom right hand corner of the license. So I take the ID from her, shine the black light over the card, check to make sure it's the same girl in the photo who handed me the ID, check for holograms and whatnot, then right before I hand it back I give it another go over with the black light, and instantly burst out laughing. In the bottom right hand corner of the ID, where there is supposed to be a hologram of this little white girl, was a hologram of a HUGE bald black man. I laughed so hard I nearly fell over.
At least use a little effort.[rebelmouse-image 18977621 is_animated_gif=
I'm not a bouncer but back when I was 19, me and some roommates wanted to go this this amazing bar down the road having a valentines day party where all the women would be wearing lingerie and pajamas. We all looked like babies and decided that on 1 hour notice, a fake ID would not be an option. So we made our own crude ID's by scanning our drivers licenses onto a computer and going into Microsoft Paint and adding some modifications. My friend had a top hat and Mr. Monopoly Monocle to demonstrate that he was a gentleman tycoon well respected by society. I had a pirate hat and an eye patch to show that I was well accustomed to drinking rum every day. The best part was that my ID was vertical as opposed to horizontal in my state until age of 21, and on the bottom they say "Under 21 until dd/mm/yyyy" We were lazy and desperate and buzzed so I blanked out under and put over so it said "over 21 until dd/mm/yyyy". We printed these monstrosities out, that probably had no more than 120 pixels (they were god awful), and glued them to our real Id's with glue sticks (like a child would think to do). I presented this ID proudly with all the confidence and swagger of a young pirate, with as straight a face as you can imagine, and the bouncer nearly died crying from laughter as this was the most brazen attempt to gain access to the bar he had ever seen. He quickly glanced in either direction and waved us in giving us our "ID's" back.
TL"DR: the bouncer thought I was a pirate with Benjamin Buttons disease.
Sometimes you just have to make it rain![rebelmouse-image 18977622 is_animated_gif=
Few months before my 18th Birthday, I entered a Casino in London with my real ID. I told the bouncers that as it is an Arab ID, the month and the day were reversed (thankfully my friend was also born before the 12th) So yeah couldn't believe how easily that worked. I ended up winning £ 500, great night!
Follow the numbers.[rebelmouse-image 18977623 is_animated_gif=
I was once handed a fake ID where the listed date issued was five days after the listed expiration date. It's the only time in 7 1/2 years of restaurant work that I've actually asked somebody if they were serious after handing me an ID.
Where have I seen you before?[rebelmouse-image 18977624 is_animated_gif=
One night I was handed an ID while working the front door of a college town. I immediately looked at the ID so I never caught the person's face. Reading the ID I realize this is a girl from my highschool that I know pretty well! Look up to smile and say hi and the face looking back at me is not hers.
Told her this isn't her ID and she responds with "Yes it is." I proceed to tell her that this surely isn't her as if it was then we would have went to high school together.
Kept the ID and ended up mailing it back to my friend who went to school ~80 miles away from where I was. Funny coincidence.
Points for creativity.[rebelmouse-image 18977625 is_animated_gif=
I used to work at a cinema. The press were allowed free entry to any movie, as long as they provided a valid journalist pass. It's a small town, so it didn't take long to know the two film critics we had.
There was one chinese lady who would show up every couple of weeks, insisting that she was a reporter for a chinese newspaper and was entitled free entry. However, I couldn't let her in, because she didn't have a journalist pass. She argued for a really long time, but I didn't relent.
She tried it again, every single time she came. Eventually one day she says she has her "journalist pass" with her, proudly reaches into her handbag and produces an ancient piece of green paper that has "Chinese Newspaper" written on it, by hand.
I let her in.
Fake it till you make it![rebelmouse-image 18353023 is_animated_gif=
I worked at a gas station and a young white guy came in to get alcohol. When I carded him, he gave me the ID of an elderly black woman. He just looked at me and kind of smiled and cocked his head like it was in the picture. Naturally, I went ahead and sold it to him. Confidence can go a long way.
Blockbuster video... WOW what a difference.[rebelmouse-image 18977626 is_animated_gif=
Local liquor store has a gigantic wall of shame (all confiscated fakes) that goes back to my college days in the 90s. The best one is a picture of an ID glued to a Blockbuster card. And this was from back in the days before digital cameras and high quality printers, so it was a really crappy picture of an ID glued to a Blockbuster card.
It's not always who you know.[rebelmouse-image 18977627 is_animated_gif=
Did a stint as a bouncer.
Kid comes up to me and whips out his metro bus pass. He says to me, "It's the new one." I say what you doing nutter he gives be a 2 minute story about how he had a new ID and the state made a new ID that looked like that. All this time I was like, kid that's a bus pass. He then goes on about how if I didn't let him as his mates through his dad would make me lose my job, and how his dad knew the owner of the club. I naturally kicked him out.
How dare you![rebelmouse-image 18977628 is_animated_gif=
Cashier at Whole Foods Santa Cruz about 7 or so years ago.
Had a 16ish looking kid hand me an ID that kind of looked like him, but it said he was 42. I started laughing, told him I couldn't sell the booze to him.
He replied to the tune of "I am appalled, I can't believe this is happening."
I gave him the ID back, and he walked right out.
Kid had balls.
Money doesn't always talk loud enough![rebelmouse-image 18977629 is_animated_gif=
One time a guy just straight up told me he was 18 and tried to slip me $20. Honestly i would have done it, but my manager was right beside me
Use spellcheck people![rebelmouse-image 18977630 is_animated_gif=
Years ago, I worked as a bank teller. The worst fake ID I saw was from a non-customer trying to cash an on-us check (a check whose account was at our bank) and she presented me with a PA "driver's license" where her home address was listed as being in "Filadelfia, PA" and the hologram was of the Earth, not the state of Pennsylvania. It should also be noted that the bank I worked at was all of 30 minutes outside of Philadelphia, so it's not like we would be unfamiliar with the spelling of the city. The police were promptly called.
My how you've grown![rebelmouse-image 18346001 is_animated_gif=
It wasn't fake, but expired. A guy tried to hand me a passport with with a baby photo in it. I'm like "bro, this could be any person of your ethnicity and I wouldn't have a clue" He was still confused as to why I wouldn't let him in.
Sometimes it's a family affair.[rebelmouse-image 18977631 is_animated_gif=
Not a bad fake but once I saw a teenage girl hand her mom some cash and wine coolers, so I explained to the mom that I had to check the daughter's ID. When I refused the sale because she was underage the mom yelled "What?!", snatched the girl's ID from me, and tried to insist that her child's piece of government ID listed the wrong birth year.
Credit[rebelmouse-image 18977462 is_animated_gif=
H/T : Reddit
Some people typically don't like being told what to do because they think they already know what they're doing.
That is until they stumble and land on their face.
It turns out what they were resistant to accepting in the first place was accurate all along.
If only they listened.
Curious to hear of other people's growing pains, Redditor TinyUnderstanding948 asked:
"What lesson did you have to learn the hard way?"
You can protect yourself with these reminders.
Leave A Paper Trail
"Any monetary or business agreement needs to be in writing!"
Observing The Fine Print
"Read the contract."
Generally speaking, business relationships and friendships are mutually exclusive.
"Not everyone you work with is your friend."
What Venting Led To
"My grandmother learned that the hard way a few years ago. Had been in the same industry since the 90s, was being paid less than she was worth honestly. On a break at work, she was venting to a coworker she thought she was friends with, about someone who worked in the same place as them."
"Word got back to the boss pretty fast and they used it as an excuse to stop giving her work and forced her out; they preferred a younger workforce that they could pay less. She had to retire without much savings, had to sell her house and move in with my aunt, and now has to live off of social security benefits. She probably would have never retired if she hadn't been forced to; because of her age, she wasn't able to get hired anywhere else."
"I work with someone who will laugh with you and pretend to be your buddy but as soon as you turn your back, she's already b*tched about you to 20 people and whined about you asking for her help with some small tasks (even though she offered her support)."
"The worst part is she is part of the HR team and she has a documented history of exploding at people, harassment and bullying, and not doing her job (because she spends most of her time crying and complaining). She is the stereotypical HR representative."
Consumers who were previously taken advantage of have the following advice to pass along.
Splurge On Good Quality
"Buy it nice or buy it twice."
"This is 100% accurate but needs a disclaimer: expensive does not always equate to nice."
The relationships we have with people are complex, but you may want to keep these in mind.
Extending A Lifeline
"You can’t always help people. You can show them you care and point them toward help, but it’s up to them to get better. And if you fail, it’s not your fault."
"You can't have a relationship with someone's potential."
Achieve Mutual Adoration
"Loving someone doesn't mean they will keep loving you."
And when it comes to your health, listen up.
"Drink plenty of water."
"It's hard to know when you're dehydrated sometimes. Felt terrible and didn't know why. Never felt thirsty. Had skin issues, lack of sleep, irritability, lack of concentration, dizzy spells, could not function at work, among other things."
"Ended up at the ICU with an IV drip for severe dehydration."
"DRINK YOUR WATER!"
While advice from the people we care about comes from a good place, they are not always appreciated.
Sometimes, we have to make our own mistakes in order to fully comprehend why we should apply certain standards to the way we go about our lives.
At least for me, I've found that picking myself up and dusting myself off was most effective.
As patients, we rely on the expertise of medical professionals to be able to identify whatever ailments we're suffering through.
We brace ourselves if we fear the worst, but oftentimes, we end up being comforted by a minor diagnosis.
But all the medical degrees and years of education can't teach doctors to practice empathetic, yet professional, doctor-to-patient interaction on a basic human level.
That has to come naturally.
Curious to hear from patients who have had disappointing or distressing interactions with their physicians, Redditor TheSpasticSheep asked:
"What’s the most out of line thing a doctor has every said to you?"
It's horrifying when even doctors don't have a clue about your condition and, even worse, they gaslight you.
"A gentleman I worked with showed up to work one day looking extremely sick. He was incredibly feverish, had muscle and joint aches, very lethargic and was looking very jaundiced."
"we insisted that he go to the doctor, as he looks like he is on deaths door. He told us that he had been to 2 separate doctors and the ER, letting them know that he has Malaria, and can they please give him some anti malarials. Both doctors and the ER insisted that it 'was impossible to have malaria, as Australia doesn't have malaria,' and that he probably just had the flu, or some other viral infection. And they are correct. We don't have malaria here. But, what they failed to grasp was that this gentleman was an expat who worked in Africa for a number of years, and has had malaria 5 times already. So not only is he an expert in what malaria 'feels' like, but he is also at risk of developing malaria again, even if he hasn't been to Africa in a few years."
"He ended up having to go back to the ER, and basically force them to run a test for Malaria, after which they were like 'oh wow, you do have malaria.' And he was like 'no sh*t, i told you that 2 days ago.'"
Not Going Mental
"I had smashed my face on my steering wheel during a bad car accident and was experiencing intense pain. I teared up when he put the scope in my nose and was told I obviously have psychological problems and if I went on medication it might not help my pain, but I wouldn't care as much."
"Finally found a good doctor and surgery removed the chunk of nose bone that was stabbing into a nerve in my face."
The wrong treatment after a misdiagnosis can be a doctor's serious mistake.
"I had a growth on my scalp a few years ago and went to see a skin cancer specialist. Who said it was a malenoma and I was going to need most of my scalp removed. Without even having a biopsy. He starts telling me to prepare myself for this surgery that will disfigure me. I was about 19 at the time with long hair. He started saying ill need to wear a wig and my hair may not grow back and the skin above my eyes will need to be removed."
"I was petrified. Went home in tears and absolutely petrified."
"Then my dad took me to his doctor, who took a biopsy."
"It was just a random skin growth and she cut it off then and there."
"Years ago, one of the sexual health nurses at my work told me she just saw a woman who very clearly had a scabies infestation around her genitals. She said the treatment was simple and that a cream was applied with almost instant relief. She said what upset her about that patient was that almost a year earlier she’d been to a doctor about the infestation, the doctor didn’t even inspect her and just prescribed her antidepressants. I was horrified and still am over 7 years later. So much medical gaslighting."
"Too Young" For Cancer
"Not one, but two doctors to my dad- 'you’re too young to have prostate cancer, no need for a biopsy, it’s just a bladder problem.'”
"He died 15 months later from an aggressive prostate cancer that spread to create tumors all over his body."
The "Sad" Pill
""While teaching abroad in Vietnam I was struggling with depression. The doc diagnosed me with homesickness and prescribed a box of 160 hydrocodone to take 'when I feel sad.'"
"I was 21 and this was 2007, way before pill use was talked about mainstream. Subsequent boxes were $12 each at a walk up pharmacy, no script needed. I became addicted for 6 years."
"Edit, as I have many people stating that pill use has been discussed forever: I’m talking about the point we got to where most people knew about the dangers of opioids, what the main ones were, the fact that they were being overprescribed etc. Had I heard the word hydrocodone and been exposed to the world and media like I have over the last decade with the spotlight on the opioid crisis, I would never have taken them. That’s the main point I was attempting to make."
It's even more unsettling when someone you entrust your life to crosses a line.
Assessment Or Pick-Up Line?
"Mental health doctor told my daughter, 'You're too pretty to be depressed.'"
A NSFW Observation
"Not a doctor, but a dentist. When I was like 13 or 14 he commented on my lack of gag reflex, telling me that I’m going to be 'very popular with the boys.' It took me a few years to realize what he meant by that."
Mom To The Rescue
"I was the opposite. My dentist said, 'If you always gag like that, you're never going to find a good husband!'"
"I didn't understand why my mom yanked me out of the dentist's chair, but I'm proud of her for that. I think I was 6 or 7 years old."
The Gynocologist's Love Advice
"Mentioned that my sex drive was abnormally low to my gyno, and she said my husband just needed to be more forceful when initiating and I’d get into it. Immediately switched doctors and never looked back!"
The Gyno Who Jumped To Conclusions
"Mine was the opposite. Moved and went to a new gyno that several women raved about. I expressed concern over my low sex drive (especially since I was only 25). The next thing I know she is giving speeches and pamphlets and trying to give me info on women’s shelters. I was so confused."
"She just jumped to the conclusion I must be a battered woman. No matter what I said, she was convinced I was being abused. I tried to reassure her no, my husband was definitely NOT the problem and he was actually quite good in bed and extremely attentive to my needs. It was clearly a physical problem."
"Never went back. She even called several times to 'check' on me. I get that some women may need this, but I mean there was literally no red flags, quite the opposite. It was weird."
Going to the doctor's office for any reason can cause a lot of anxiety.
Patients should never have their stresses exacerbated by an unqualified doctor giving them a false analysis or downplaying their concerns.
Hopefully, you're in good hands with a physician who is professional, as well as compassionate.
Growing up, I had zero idea that the food I ate daily was "cultural."
It didn't occur to me until I was a kid when my mother had to gently explain to me that not everyone ate rice & beans.
She had to explain it because we were about to eat at a white friend's house for the first time.
I've always been weird about food tastes and textures and mom needed to warn me that the beans I could expect would be nothing like what I knew.
They would be sweet, have big chunks of chewy pork (which would also be sweet), and would NOT be served with rice.
"What do you mean there's no rice with the beans? Did they run out? Should we bring some?"
"No, they just don't eat rice and beans."
"So what do they eat with their chicharron de pollo?"
"They don't eat that. They do fried chicken a little different and they tend to eat things like rotisserie chicken instead."
Y'all should have seen my face.
It's been thirty years and I still struggle with the idea of not eating rice and beans all the time. I've come to understand that not everyone grew up in a Caribbean cultural household, though, and most Americans ate from a whole other menu.
Reddit user remyleboi00 asked:
"Non-Americans, what is the best 'American' food?"
Even as someone born in America, it took a while before I got familiar with American food.
So if it's just not your comfort zone - let Reddit guide you to the can't miss dishes.
"Cajun food. Definitely the most unique American food"
"As an American I 100% agree with you. Cajun food is heaven sent"
"That's because of it's native American roots, fun fact Cajun peppers are named after the south American tribe that influenced the Spanish/French who brought it to Louisiana. Maque Choux is also a very native American dish that can be found in Mexico as Calabasitas."
They Are Fundesperate housewives eating GIFGiphy
"Curly fries 👌"
"Recently came across Carl’s jr for the first time in Istanbul airport and the curly fries were just the best"
"the fun thing about curly fries is that they are basically the same everywhere. I'm pretty sure it's one company supplying all the different fast food places"
"I hate to sound like an ignorant foreigner but a made from scratch Mac & Cheese with at least 3 different cheeses plus a crispy breadcrumb crust on top is one of my favorite American dishes"
"Mac & Cheese is such a favorite of family get-togethers that if you volunteer to cook it, your Mac & Cheese needs references."
"It’s especially good with some pulled pork and caramelized onions mixed in. And some insulin."
"Solid choice. We Americans LOVE cheese."
"No need to apologize. One of our favorites too."
Thankful For Thanksgiving.I Love You Cooking GIF by Bob's BurgersGiphy
"I'm from Mexico and we get spoiled with our traditional cuisine but I found the thanksgiving dinner experience in the US incredible."
"Love everything, the turkey (dark meat :) ), cranberry sauce, the stuffing (oh the stuffing), mashed potatoes, salads and the delicious pays that follow for dessert. That whole combination plus the red wine and good company is an incredible experience hard to match."
"We also get spoiled with your traditional cuisine."
"I usually get a food coma on Thanksgiving"
"As an American who loves the Thanksgiving and other holiday classics this warms my heart to hear from someone whose cultural cuisine is considered a full on cultural heritage of humanity by UNESCO."
"A nicely done, quality turkey with proper attention paid to all the sides, and good friends and/family is such a great experience."
"Same with the ham or prime rib dinner at Christmas. And all the pies. God I love pumpkin pie."
"Anything smoked: brisket, pork shoulder, chicken, turkey. I've even had smoked burgers. If seasoned well you don't even need BBQ sauce and it is so tender and juicy."
"I smoke meatloaf, can't go back to oven baked ever again."
"This tread has me wanting to smoke a brisket sooner rather than later."
"I love smoked brisket. I agree with you about the sauce. Taste the brisket before dunking in another flavor."
"Native Texan here. Agreed. The general rule here is that you never sauce beef. Let the flavor of the meat stand for itself. Hell, there are some places in Texas (particularly in Lockhart) that will ask you to leave their establishment if you ask for BBQ sauce."
"Now, pork and chicken, whatever else... Go nuts... Just leave beef alone."
"I had smoked mac and cheese once, it was heavenly."
Risk It Allhungry bart simpson GIFGiphy
"This is probably a recipe for disaster but I'm British and growing up visiting Florida I would love eating raw cookie dough from the refrigerator section"
"Cookie dough is so good that, given the option between not eating it, or getting food poisoning, nearly everyone will pick the cookie dough."
"It’s one of the few foods in the country where everyone knows the risk of food poisoning, and everyone makes the conscious, willing, and eager decision to not give a f*ck."
"All of us here in the U.S. know that eating the cookie dough is the best part of making homemade chocolate chip cookies. I have a recipe for brownies with a cookie dough topping. Cookie dough ice cream is also extremely common (it’s vanilla ice cream with cookie dough bits mixed in)."
The Holy Pudding
"I can’t find someone who’s listed it so"
"That shit is LIFE CHANGING"
"Gotta have the Nilla wafers or it isn't right."
"Ah, finally! A person of culture. Banana pudding is the closest food can come to a religious experience."
Cornbread!cornbread cooking GIF by emibobGiphy
"Oddly enough, no one seems to have mentioned it…but cornbread . Yeah , as a guy who moved here , Americans have got cornbread down to a T . Combined with some soul food ? Makes me smile on the inside . Gives me high blood pressure , but smile on the inside too"
"A nice warm cornbread muffin with some butter and a little drizzle of honey is amazing."
"Cornbread with a nice bowl of chili is such a nice comfort food."
"And the spicier the chili the nicer the sweet, buttery cornbread is with it."
"Peanut butter and jelly sandwich, at first i thought it was a disgusting combo, but when i tried i loved it"
"Interesting, most people in America are introduced to pb&j before we're even old enough to remember"
"Farmer’s market jam is the way."
"That was my most frequent meal in elementary school. I didn't realize it was an American thing until recently."
"It's easily top 3 greatest sandwich ever."
As American As It Getspulp fiction breakfast GIF by MIRAMAXGiphy
"I may be a simpleton, but an average diner with bottomless filter coffee, pancakes, bacon and syrup was my favourite part of the day. Although I did put on about 10-15kg after a month in Texas"
"I missed this sooooo much when I lived in the UK (grew up in New Jersey, land of diners). They simply do not do American diner breakfasts in Europe."
"My wife is German, I am American but we live in Germany. We took her parents to the states with us one summer on vacation and one of the things they insisted we do was go to a diner where they pour your coffee at the table, like in movies and tv shows."
"Took them to my favorite little spot, they loved the waitress filling up their cups unprompted."
Now that youve heard Reddit, it's my turn.
So remember how I said that I wasn't really exposed to American food until I was a bit older, even though I was born and raised in America?
I was 22 before I had meatloaf and mashed potatoes.
FAM. Fam. Faaaaaaaaaaam.
There is no greater meal for after a night of drinking than a good meatloaf and a nice herb and garlic mashed potato.
Keep your greasy pizza, amateurs. It's potato time over here.
Have you ever been caught in a conversation you didn't want to be in? Or start talking to someone only to realize you want to stop? Perhaps you were talking to a friend when the conversation took a turn for the uncomfortable.
Whatever the case, we've all been in those situations where we want the conversation to stop, but don't want to be rude.
When I was in third grade, I asked if I voted on American Idol that week. I said yes, since everyone seemed to, but of course I didn't know what American Idol was. Being pop culture challenged, I thought it was a ship. Needless to say everyone was confused when I was asked who I voted for and I replied, "What do you mean? I voted for American Idol!"
It didn't take me long to realize something was amiss, and I probably would've very rudely excused myself from the conversation (fueled by my embarrassment) if my teacher hadn't called us to attention at that very moment.
Luckily, the people of Reddit were willing to share their methods to politely end a conversation when Redditor Spritti33asked:
"How does someone politely end a conversation with a person who won't stop talking?"
Extricate Yourself Immediately
"When they draw a breath, politely say:"
""On that note, I must be on my way.""
Then, simply leave."
Couldn't Get Him To Shut Up
"Yea I worked with a dude who needed to talk. I just talked to him to be polite and not awkward. And I remember him saying "at least you're not one of those people who are silent all day". In my head I'm like, "FUCK, I wish I could be silent all day but now that you said that it would be even more awkward."
"At some point, I just mentally said f**k it and started giving him one-word replies. I think he got the hint because he started talking to me less. Eventually, he quit after a couple of months so it's all good!"
"But some people just need to talk for whatever reason. I need my freaking silence."
Put It In Writing
"I once worked with a man that managed to say nothing, despite talking nonstop. He would explain an issue to me over the span of 5 min. I would say "OK, so the issue you're having is x?" and he would say "No" then launch into a 5 min monologue about something completely different. One time, after half an hour talking with him I still had no idea what the problem was, so I said "put all the issues in an email so I can put it in the queue" and just left. Never got a coherent email either but at least a rambling incoherent email is easier to walk away from and less time-consuming."
Put Them (Back) To Work
"If you're in an office building with someone (or any location the person you're talking to has a desk), one trick you can try is walking them back to their desk, say something like "well, I'll let you get back to it!", then turn around and leave."
Taking Care Of Each Other
"My workplace has someone like this and it’s pretty much become a part of our culture to monitor who is trapped talking to her, for how long they’ve been stuck, and to rescue them after an appropriate amount of time has passed. She doesn’t get it, and probably never will."
Talk To The Door
"My husband worked with a woman who would not stop talking. Just wouldn't. So you'd gather your stuff, while she monologued. You'd say goodbye to everyone else, while she monologued. You'd walk to the door as she followed you and shut the door in her face while she monologued. You could hear her still talking to you behind the closed door while you walked away."
Take Your Turn
"I learned a trick. Most excessive talkers hate listening. So I simply participate and tell my own stories. After one or two stories they are usually ready to leave themselves to seek their next victim."
Create A Deadline
"My entire dad's side of the family are the type that never stop talking."
"The key to getting a word in is to just respond to whatever you wanted to add to even if they are still talking. It might feel rude but most people who are like that were raised in environments where that's the norm or in the case of people with disorders like ADHD and Autism, they most likely know they have the tendency and will roll with it."
"Best way I've found to get end a conversation with ramblers is to set a deadline as early as possible in the conversation (ex: I have to leave at 6pm to get to ______ on time). If you do this you can do the "I'm sorry I really have to go" and immediately leave without offending them because you've already set the expectation that you would be leaving at a certain time."
"This is why I hate taking Lyft/Uber alone, I seem to always get the folks who just want to talk the entire time. My boyfriend tells me to just not engage but when you’re in a car with someone it’s kinda hard not to. The ONE time I just wore headphones the whole time, the driver at the end said “maybe you’ll actually talk next time”"
No Need To Feel Bad
"People who are like this expect folks to just walk away from them while they are talking because that’s the only way the conversation ends. It’s not rude to them, it’s normal. So, it’s entirely okay to say, “all right this has been great, see you later,” and then just walk away smiling."
Sometimes it's hard to get out of a conversation you never wanted to be in, and sometimes it's equally as hard to keep your temper in check.
However, if you remember some of these tips and tricks, you may be able to successfully get yourself out of an unpleasant or unceremoniously long conversation in the future!