There are unspoken boundaries you just don't cross as a bridesmaid—like stealing the bride's spotlight to make an announcement about yourself.
But one bridesmaid went there.
Redditor "hipposarelife" became resentful after one of her best friends upstaged her wedding—that was two years in the making—with news of her pregnancy.
The original poster then asked users if she was the "a$$hole" for being upset.
"I got married two weekends ago. I asked my three best friends Anna, Kelly and Laura to be my bridesmaids 2 years before the wedding and found them very helpful when planning."
What is it about Laura?
"For the morning of my wedding I hired a fancy penthouse apartment for myself and the bridesmaids to get ready. We had champagne and as we were pouring it out, Laura said none for her."
"Now Laura is the biggest party animal of us all so naturally we questioned why she wasn't drinking. Laura then told us she was pregnant."
The OP felt threatened by Laura's good news encroaching on the main event.
"Of course I was happy for her but obviously the focus was then on Laura and her pregnancy and not us getting ready for my wedding, something I had been planning for 2 years."
"Anyway. We all got ready and headed to the venue. The photographer kept us outside the venue for a short while so he could do posed photos with myself and the bridesmaids."
As the photographer arranged for the obligatory group shot, Laura decided to break convention with a personal pose.
"I was holding my bouquet, Anna and Kelly were holding theirs but Laura placed hers on the floor and was standing with her hands cradling her stomach as if to emphasize her bump (which wasn't noticeable as she's barely 12 weeks)."
"The photographer asked her to pick her flowers up so all of us were holding our bouquets and Laura refused and said 'oh it's ok I'd prefer to stand like this' and carried on cradling her stomach."
"So now those photos just look weird."
"The rest of the day went smoothly until it came to the speeches. As Laura was my oldest friend naturally I asked her to say a few words."
The speech was promising, until it wasn't.
"She stood up and said some nice words, then ended her speech with 'and I'm so excited to announce that as Bride's best friend, I'd like her to be an honorary aunt to my baby who is due summer 2020!.'"
"With her being an old family friend of course my family were over the moon and again the attention was on her and her pregnancy and not me and my husband."
These are the things that ruin friendships.
"I felt so upset on my wedding day and haven't really spoke to Laura much since."
"She has since sent me a text saying I'm acting like a spoiled brat and the world doesn't revolve around me."
The OP asked if she was "not the a$$hole" (NTA) for being upset and distancing herself from Laura.
Redditors were happy to respond.
"At first it seemed innocuous enough because you asked about her not drinking, but she spent the rest of the day deliberately drawing attention to her pregnancy and that's rude af."
"You have every right to be upset and she owes you an apology, most specifically for using her toast to make an announcement to your entire wedding reception." – knifewrenchhh
"Yeah, she essentially used your wedding photos as her pregnancy photoshoot... NTA for sure." – snoozin_sarandon
"I would have had the other bridesmaids change their pose so they're all doing the same thing. F**k that attention seeking brat, I don't care if you're excited the condom broke, let your friend have her day, ffs." – booksblanketsandtea
"OP's situation is as bad as someone proposing to their significant other at a wedding, or the bride's mother wearing a wedding dress."
"Any one of these is an outrageous and insanely rude usurpation of someone else's wedding that they paid for, not you. Your wedding is supposed to be about the bride and groom, or brides, or grooms. If someone else wants the spotlight to be on them, they can pay for it. Holy crap."
"I'm especially shocked that Laura refused to stand the way OP asked for when she wasn't paying for the photos. Now she's stuck with photos that look weird - which she paid hundreds or even thousands of dollars for - because someone else was conceited." – HellKat1988
"Talk about stealing the spotlight. It seems to me that she had ample time to say something prior to YOUR wedding day."
"Then once she has hijacked the mood she doubles and triples down on it. Extremely rude." – toddfredd
Photoshop can work wonders.
"Shop it so she's cradling a large vase of flowers!" – buickgnx88
"Oh my god, you could make a whole photoshop series with her cradling ridiculous things. PLEASE do this." – jokeyhaha
"Please put in a bouquet, but instead of a flower make it a tiny 12 week old fetus on each stem." – saltysanford
But the photographer could have intervened.
"I think either that the photographer or the OP should have said something."
"Like it sucks that it progressed the way it did, but if I were in OP's shoes, I'd shut that s**t down."
"'That's nice that you prefer standing that way, but we're doing my wedding pictures right now and I don't need you baby bumping without a baby bump. How about we do a couple shots at the end for you, and you can use those if you want to announce it after my wedding is over.'"
"You teach people how to treat you. And yes, the photographer should have also pushed back. Laura didn't pay for those pictures, OP did." – StrangerOnTheReddit
"Am I off base to think that the photographer should've made more of an effort to intervene?"
"I mean, I know conflict resolution isn't in the official job description, but I feel like wrangling the wedding party and setting up a good shot is, and someone really skilled & experienced at the job might have been able to speak up in the client's best interest without making a scene." – LittleDogTurpie
This is something you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy, but worth considering before creating a lasting memory for someone else's wedding photo.
"As someone who has had several miscarriages, to document the pregnancy in such a permanent way could be painful for the friend and others in the long run."
"During my first pregnancy I wouldn't have thought it would end in miscarriage, but I wouldn't have used my friend's wedding day for my glory either." – elainemarieseinfeld
"That's what I was thinking! 12 weeks is still early. I miscarried at 12 weeks."
"Luckily our family/best friends were the only ones who knew so we didn't have to tell a bunch of people. I cant imagine having those pictures to remind me of it, plus having to tell all those people!"
"You KNOW somebody who didn't hear about the miscarriage would ask her about the baby in a few months and that would be awful to have to explain." – JustLetMeGetAName
"I could not agree more! I've lost four all within the first 10 weeks. I could not imagine taking pictures cradling my stomach that early, or at someone else's wedding."
"Now I was nine months pregnant as a bridesmaid in my brother in law's wedding. The photographer took several shots centered on my big stomach which made me very uncomfortable."
"Thankfully the bride thought it was funny, but the one picture with my brother in law holding a cup to my stomach trying to listen to the baby was just too weird." – Stevi100183
This family understood the proper way of making sure both occasions were equally celebrated.
"So going to second the NTA. We found out we were expecting our first (and my family's first) child a few days before my brother's wedding."
"The only way he and his bride figured this out was because my wife wasn't drinking (something she is very skilled at). It was during the reception that they asked and we quietly confirmed. A quick private congratulations from them and then all the attention was back on them."
"We didn't say a word to anyone, particularly my family, that day. Of course, the next day, once the newlyweds had left for their honeymoon, we shared with my family. And everyone was over the moon. And easy to feel this way about both the new marriage and the child to come."
"And my wife and I were seen as respectful for waiting to share the news. And my brother and wife were more than happy for us as the pregnancy progressed." – tpodr
Can the ladies come back from this and one day look back and laugh?
"Hey, but those photos of her cradling what are essentially trapped farts in her abdomen will be hilarious once things have cooled off a bit." – avocado_toast
There are times and places for things, and we could all do better by staying in our respective lanes.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
Giphy
Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
Giphy
See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
Giphy
Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
Giphy
Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
Giphy
The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.