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The movie Sixteen Candles is a pretty accurate representation of all of the stupid things we really all hope never happen on our personal birthdays.

But the world waits for no one. All people will likely experience some unfortunate circumstances on their birthdays.

And these are their stories.


u/NerdInABush asked:

What unfortunate things have happened to you on your birthday?


Here were some of those answers.

Four Is A Hard Year

Giphy

My fourth birthday. In a school play and at the end everyone surprised me by singing happy birthday... I panicked and peed myself. In front of the entire school and all the parents.

My shame will never die.

allthewayup7

Me Vs. Phil

My birthday is sep 1st, on my birthday 3 years ago I asked my best friend "You know what day it is?" And they casually responded "yeah Dr. Phil's birthday" I was both disappointed and happy to know that I have the same birthday as Dr. Phil, my best friend forgot my birthday, and my friend watches Dr. Phill.

SalteaChapu

What. A. Jerk.

It was my 8th birthday. My mom, my sister, and I spent like the whole day making a princess castle cake. It was the best thing ever, at least to my 8-year-old self. At the party some annoying little kid stuck his finger in the back and made a hole in it. I have never forgiven that kid.

hi-my-name-is--

Beyond A Reasonable Cake

I got arrested on my 39th birthday. My ex was pissed that I wouldn't get back together with her, so when the cops arrested her for stealing the grates from a car wash (there was video of her and another woman stealing the grates) she told them it was me. They picked me up on my birthday. Long story short, I was able to prove beyond doubt that it wasn't me, but it still sucked.

ClosetPsycopath

The Middle Of Winter

Senior year of high school, got mono. Missed a grand total of 4 days of school cause February vacation was most of it. But I was too sick to celebrate my birthday or play in the jazz band the one and only time we performed at a night club

Junior year of college, had Matchbox Twenty tickets; too sick to go

When I turned 30, I'd had enough of being sick on/around my birthday so I started celebrating it in August instead.

digicow

Derp Derp Derp

Nothing tragic, more humourous.

We were in Mexico for a friends wedding....and ended up leaving the day of my 30th birthday...

3 hours into the morning..my husband has yet to say Happy Birthday.

First person to say anything...the ticket agent at the airport who checked my passport.

GeneralArugula

Rude Parents

me: why are we doing a surprise party for uncle?

mom: because its a nice thing to do

me: but he specifically said he didn't want a party

mom: stop being rude, you know what, now you don't get a birthday party this year

me: D:

I was like 10 btw

Slav_Vapor

Necessary Self Care

My birthdays stopped being a big deal for me about fifteen years ago so I stopped taking them off work if they fell on a workday. Until 2017.

I am an anesthetist and I was working the call shift, finishing up my last case for the evening (so I thought). Was just waking that patient and looking forward to a nice dinner with my husband at home when my coworker walked in and said "Hold up. We've got a gunshot wound coming in through the ER."

I spent the last four hours of my birthday resuscitating a 15 year old victim of a gang-related shooting and decided I wasn't going to spend another birthday like that.

The kid survived but that birthday sucked. I take vacation that entire week now.

Phasianidae

Less Internalized Shame In 2019

I spent my 20th birthday in jail for pot. I'd went in two days before and just didn't call my parents or anybody. I was at a low point and I got all "this is my life now" about it, and that's so weird to think about, considering I live in a legal state now. Like I'd actually done something to be ashamed of.

bucko_fazoo

A Literal Ransom

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My car got towed while I was seeing a concert on my birthday. I was stupid and parked in a grocery store parking lot to avoid a $30 parking fee.

I had to uber to the tow truck company at 1 in the morning in the fringes if los angeles to find out that I couldn't get the car unless if I paid the man who towed me $450 IN F*CKING CASH. He could take card, but would only do so if the car was registered to me. The car was registered to my dad.

This leads to me walking a mile and a half to the closest atm in a sketchy neighborhood to withdraw the cash. I had to wake up my parents by calling them and asking for more cash cause I didn't have enough in my account at the time.

I got the car back by 2:30 AM and my bank account was $450 lighter. I've never wanted to commit an act of extreme crime or vandalism against a business until that night. Tow truck companies are the scum of the earth and I truly wish ill will upon them and their families. They make their living off of being predators and charging ridiculous ransom sums of money.

gentlesir123

Lifehacks, if applied properly, can really change the course of a single household chore.

Chores can really be such a pain to take care of, and nobody wants to do it. But with a little life hack under your belt, you might be able to turn chore time into something a little fun.

u/rat-avec-london asked:

What is a lifehack that seems fake, but is a true lifesaver?

Here were some of those answers.


My Finger, The Glass

If your ring gets stuck on your finger windex will slide it right off. Worked at a jewelry store for five plus years.

coykoi314

You can also use any oil (cooking, automotive... anything).

You can also reduce the size of your hand (and finger) by holding it up in the air. Chilling your hand in cold water THEN holding it up in the air for a couple minutes whilst rubbing oil &/or dishwashing fluids in there... trifecta of ring removal.

Should work on anyone that just stole Sauron's prize - though biting it off also works, i suppose.

SageSilinous

Multiple Uses

Use shaving cream as anti-fog. I used it on the inside of my motorcycle visor. Smear it on, let it dry, then rinse off and dry. It also works for bathroom mirrors. You can use it on a small spot so you can still see when you get out of the shower.

Caspers_Shadow

Shaving cream also removes the smell of urine. If you ever have to take care of someone who is old and/or sick and who wets the bed, a little shaving cream on a rag wiped over their buttocks after they are thoroughly cleaned up helps them really smell clean again.

It's a bit of a sad tip, I know, but you never know when you might end up caring for someone who needs help with things like this. Nobody wants to smell. A dab of shaving cream to restore a bit of dignity? Priceless.

Gen-Jinjur

Pretty Important For Stage Actors

Every male should know this. If you want to get rid of an awkward boner flex any muscle in your body maybe an arm. For a minute. The blood will rush to that muscle and away from your penis. Crisis averted.

GingerOverseer

These life hacks really don't seem real at all, but if you can swear by them, they can save your life.

Obligatory Poop Hack

I saw a comment on one of these kinda threads that recommended gently rocking back and forth while pooping. I've never had any problems in the bathroom, but I happened to be sitting on the toilet when I read the comment so I decided to give it a test drive. I was pleasantly surprised at how quick and effortless the whole experience was and I haven't gone back to my old stationary technique since. As a bonus, #1 and #2 now require the same amount of time in the bathroom!

ASS_LORD_666

It's The Alcohol

If you have funky armpits and need to fix them fast, use hand sanitiser. I figured this out years ago when I remembered that the smell comes from bacteria reactions - which antibacterial hand gel kills stone dead. Instant results and the medical smell lasts only a minute. Don't do this routinely though as it's delicate skin.

ihadanideaonce

But Hopefully It's Just A Playing Puppy

True lifesaver: if you are ever attacked by a dog, push your forearm INTO the bite. This pries the jaws apart and prevents them from clamping down. If a dog is attacking you, the best thing you can do is offer your forearm, push as far back as possible, and then grab the dog by the scruff of its neck with your other hand to hold it. The dog is now functionally muzzled and you have control of its head. The sooner and harder you push into the bite, the less damage the bite will do.

IAlbatross

Get It Off Anything

That rubbing alcohol removes chewing gum.

I'd go through a 20 layer deep marketing funnel to get to that tip because it really does work.

Also wow! Thank you for all of the awards nice Redditors. I completely forgot I left this comment and came back and my notifications had blown up.

omgIamafraidofreddit

And previously impossible situations will give way at long last.

Sayonara Capsaicin

Rubbing vegetable oil (or any cooking oil) on your hands after you cut up jalapeños or other hot peppers. It gets rid of the awfulness that would normally be left on your hands from the peppers. I rub my hands with oil and then wash it off with dish soap. I can totally remove my contacts after doing this. It's crazy how well this works.

PaulRuddsButthole

Crying Crying

Put your onion in the freezer for 10 minutes before chopping it. It freezes the juices just enough to slow down the process of it turning in to a gas, giving you a few minutes to chop the onion without tears. I learnt this tip from a kid's science show years ago and I haven't had to deal with onion tears since. So many people don't believe me, and then are genuinely surprised when it works.

Lost_in_the_Library

Just A Quick Little Base

The cheapest, most effective, and safest insecticide against roaches (especially those huge "water bug" roaches that we have in the South) is a spray bottle of mostly water with just a little liquid dish soap in it.

Shake the bottle & get the water a little foamy, then spray the roaches. They will run, scrabble, and attempt escape, of course, but they will die. The soap film suffocates them faster than any chemicals will.

A friend told me about this, & I thought she was nuts, but I tried it & it works amazingly well. Plus it's very easy to clean up and safe around food (not that you want to spray soapy water ON your food).

SnooPickles3213

Incorporating any of these lifehacks into your home may make a big difference. You'll never want to turn back.

Or you will, whatever. But they're worth a try!

Image by Olya Adamovich from Pixabay

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