There are certain nightmare scenarios too dramatic and terrifying for most people to even think about. These world-ending catastrophes include nuclear war, massive natural disasters, and PROPOSING AT SOMEONE ELSE'S WEDDING.
A woman recently wrote to Slate's "Dear Prudence" section searching for advice. After years of saving up money, she and her now-husband had planned the perfect wedding. But everything seemed to go wrong when her husband's best man/officiant chose to propose to his girlfriend and announce their pregnancy... DURING THE CEREMONY.
Here's the story, as told by the anonymous bride:
My husband and I started dating, got pregnant, had a child, moved in together, bought a house, and got a dog in that order.
Our friends and family have asked us for years why we weren't married yet.
We always pushed it off to build better lives.
We've done really well for ourselves and finally reached a point where we could afford a huge blowout wedding to celebrate our lives with everyone we know and love.
My husband's best friend, "John," was the best man/officiant.
The setting was beautiful, everyone seemed happy, our families were overjoyed.
My mom may have used the phrase hallelujah a few dozen times.
The entire atmosphere felt moving.
So moving in fact that John stopped mid-ceremony to propose to his longtime girlfriend, "Jane," and reveal her pregnancy.
I couldn't even hear the vows my husband wrote or the rest of the ceremony over the noise of Jane's happy sobs, her very surprised family who were also guests, and people seated nearby congratulating her.
@ashuhhleeee_ I would've snatched that mic away real quick and had somoeone escort them the hell out😂— B. J. Burns (@B. J. Burns)1496272987.0
Any reader with a polite bone in their body should already be cringing beyond belief.
Even the videographer cut to her frequently during the ceremony, and you can't hear anything over the chatter. When John gave his toast, he apologized for being caught up in the moment, and then proceeded to talk about he and Jane's future with nary a mention of us.
@ashuhhleeee_ I'd go to their wedding and be $40000 worth of petty. Giving caffeinated candy to the kids, pushing t… https://t.co/QnvGrikQA4— Amanda WallerPMP (@Amanda WallerPMP)1496391070.0
John and his now-fiancée seemed to take over the wedding:
During the reception John and Jane became the primary focus of our guests.
John even went out of his way to ask the band for a special dance for just him and Jane on the dance floor.
I've never been an attention hog, and I wouldn't even have minded if he'd proposed after the ceremony, but weeks later I am still seething.
I am so shocked and angry that I keep asking myself if this is real life.
My husband hasn't spoken to John since the wedding, and our mutual friends think what he did was rude but that my husband should just get over it.
My husband has joked that he'll resume his friendship when John and Jane give him a $40,000 check for "their half of the wedding."
Do you think John's behavior warrants the end of a long-term friendship, or are we angry over nothing?"
The disgruntled bride was asking Prudence whether John's actions warrant the end of a friendship, but Twitter already knew the answer: YES.
Look at this nightmare y'all. I absolutely wouldn't speak to John or Jane ever again. https://t.co/SUvAv64XFa— Tub-Li (@Tub-Li)1496259760.0
@ashuhhleeee_ John lost his damn mind.— Kay-Trill; (@Kay-Trill;)1496265514.0
@___myreee I would beat johns ass. I surely would. Would've done it at the alter tbh— Tub-Li (@Tub-Li)1496265699.0
@ashuhhleeee_ My letter would have ended, "So I stuffed the mic down his throat. People say I overreacted but I don… https://t.co/gqgYfuniGO— 32 Means I'm Officially Grown (@32 Means I'm Officially Grown)1496264834.0
Several Twitter users seemed ready to put up their dukes and fight John.
I absolutely would've ruined his proposal. When he INTERRUPTED (!?) MY ceremony, I would've told him "HELL NO. Get up. Not here, not now."— ViBaènium (@ViBaènium)1496409128.0
But see, this bride didn't handle this right. At MY reception, I would've made an announcement. 🗣️WE'RE being celebrated today. Also, there— ViBaènium (@ViBaènium)1496410786.0
is NO WAY he would've been able to get a special request in for a song. Lmao. Are you kidding me? And the videographer would've been— ViBaènium (@ViBaènium)1496410976.0
warned, too. There's no way I would've sat back and let all that happen. Nope. In fact, if "John" continued to cut up, they'd been asked to— ViBaènium (@ViBaènium)1496411049.0
leave. Yeah this would've gone a COMPLETELY different way. Hell naw. Whew.— ViBaènium (@ViBaènium)1496411076.0
Where were the groomsmen?!
@ashuhhleeee_ @sarahsosincere a groomsman should've shown his ass the door.— ajua bliss (@ajua bliss)1496593300.0
@juasnua @sarahsosincere The mutual friends think they should get over it. They need a whole new crew.— Tub-Li (@Tub-Li)1496593395.0
No true friend would be so selfish!
@ashuhhleeee_ They're right John and Jane are assholes and terrible friends. Who tf does that during their friends big moment?— a unforgiving, wild ass, wwoc (@a unforgiving, wild ass, wwoc)1496261327.0
Of course, Prudence took a slightly higher road than most of Twitter (though she did concede a fight may be in order):
A: I think it merits a fight! In between "getting over it" and "never speaking to John again" is the happy medium of "having a difficult conversation with a longtime friend who did something selfish and self-absorbed on your wedding day." He's your husband's best friend, so your husband should tell John just how upset his behavior during your wedding made him. Maybe John will apologize and the two of them can have a meaningful reconciliation and build a better friendship as a result. Maybe John will double down and dismiss your husband's feelings, and things will naturally fall apart between them. Whatever the outcome, there is definitely at least one step in between "seething silently" and "cutting John loose forever," especially since the two of them have been best friends for a long time.
There you have it—honest and open communication is the way to go. And, if that fails, you can always throw John out of your life and find a new, better friend who doesn't do insanely rude things at important events.