
One of the perks of becoming an adult is acquiring and building, over a long period of time, a nice home. This could be an apartment, a house, a boat, an airstream, or a Dodge Conversion Van.
Whichever it is, it's yours, and you get to decide the atmosphere.
For better or worse, that might entail some wildly specific rules on your part. We all have our pet peeves, and ownership of property offers the free reign to act on those.
Thankfully, those nitpicky rules usually come with a backstory. A whole collection of those tales made their way to a recent Reddit thread.
ioyayxan asked, "What isn't allowed in your house?"
For some, it was all about the annoying discoveries that only parenthood could possibly conjure up. Some crafts, they were sorry to say, are just a no-go forever.
Never Ever Gone
"Glitter. I was a florist for years and so much glitter hitchhiked home with me on my clothes. The best thing about leaving that profession was leaving that horrible craft herpes behind." -- elfalai
"No lie. There's a prom/wedding dress store in a mall near me named 'Glitterati' My daughter and I walked in and there was glitter ALL OVER EVERYTHING! Floors, walls, mirrors. I found some on my jeans as we were leaving the mall. And there was some transfer to the car upholstery as well. That stuff is terrifying" -- LowkeyPony
Not the Quilt!
"Silly Putty is banned from my parents house."
"I'm sure everyone used to play with silly putty as a kid and it was a ton of fun, it was like a fidget toy before fidget toys. Every year the Easter Bunny would leave me some Silly Putty in my Easter Basket."
"I guess one particular year I was playing with it and left it on one of my mom's quilts that she made and I think she put it in the wash."
"The heat from the dryer is was really did it in, it melted the silly putty making it super thin, allowed it to intertwine in the fabric, and completely destroy this quilt my mom spent countless hours making."
"It's been maybe 25 years and I don't think I've played with Silly Putty since."
"I should order her some."
Like a Bank Robbery in a Movie
"Oh, this comes with a story."
"String."
"When my siblings and I were around 6-7 I somehow convinced them it would be a GREAT idea if we 'stringed the house.' I think my parents were still asleep or something, because by 'string the house' I meant taking all of the string and tying it to anything and everything across rooms."
"Picture one of those laser mazes, but with string. It's been 10 years and my mother still refuses to let us have string. It's more of a joke now than anything, though!"
-- camrynewt
NOT THE SLIME
"All the fu**ing slime products marketed for kids! Some brands won't come out of carpet and stains surfaces and clothes. Never again!" -- Grave_horse
"Not to mention slime is GROSS. Slime has a soft ban in our house, enforced by me, because I can't stand the idea of a wet glittery blob of germs just BEING in our house." -- RainbowInTheDork
For some house owners, it was people that got the axe. Usually, it amounted to the vile deeds and behaviors of one representative of a certain category of people.
Trying to Make That Close
"Sales people. I let those kirby vacuum people in once. Never again. I dropped polite hints that it was dinner time, that I had food getting cold."
"They gave no sh**s."
"THESE PEOPLE SHOWED UP WELL BEFORE DINNER WAS EVEN A CONCERN. Over two hours they parked themselves in my house. Finally I said I'm sorry, I'm not interested, please leave my house."
"They still didn't really want to go. I was getting ready to call the police when they finally ambled out the door. Never again."
-- whocares023
A Last Impression
"My sisters ex. Parents have always been very chill and never really outright banned anything but that guy wasn't allowed anywhere near our property after he stole one of our cars."
-- PC-hris
Staying in the Nest
"In-laws of any kind. We'll go to their place, that way we get to control when the interaction ends!" -- BoysenberryEasy3653
"Just get a cattle prod." -- Benblishem
"Get a squirt bottle and treat them like a cat who has jumped up onto the stove again. This occupies a sweet spot in the area between passive and active aggression." -- LIRON_Mtn_Ranch
Ya Never Know
"Vampires. I keep a mirror next to the door to check, and I never ever invite anyone in. I just open the door and let them figure it out."
"No blood sucking happening under my roof no sir"
-- Dreddley
Finally, some people just refused to accept certain behaviors on the part of guests. They put their foot down on the things that just had too many side effects that bothered other guests, or the physical space itself.
Festering in the Fibers
"Smoking" -- CGA816
"Recently, research shows that toxic tobacco chemicals can basically stick to materials and release over time, which is called third hand smoke." -- semtex94
"Beat me to it. My parents come over and they smoke outside. And when they come inside a few puffs remain in their lungs and they blow it out in the house... gross" -- wrenchplierssocket
Careful Language
"Calling each other stupid. Acts are stupid, choices can be stupid, people can think and parrot stupid points of view."
"No one calls anyone stupid in this house."
-- omega12596
The Spoils of the Hunt
"If my dog is reading this, dead animals you find outside!" -- jeskimo
"My dog got around this by killing the squirrel herself and bringing the still-warm corpse inside and very nicely setting it on the couch." -- Mu-Relay
"He brought a present don't be ungrateful" -- demonesder
Hospitable to the Bitter End
"Being cold or being hungry. I cannot rest until you have a sweater and a sandwich." -- VicariousFly963
"Thanks, grandma." -- Plantayne
No Automatons
"YouTube Kids."
"The algorithm turns my kids into little zombies that watch videos of Russian speaking dudes (we're not Russian) unboxing and playing with toys. Their social skills evaporate every minute they watch that drivel."
Almost Free
"Video games. My parents don't allow me to buy video games and consoles. I'm 17 and one month away from turning into an adult, but video games is something that my parents hate! And no, they don't believe video games cause violence."
"They think that video games are stupid and interferes with studies and results in low grades. Haha. I can buy one once I turn 18. My dad is still not okay with it, but my mom kind of is. I'm going to buy the PS5 once it's possible to buy."
Ticking All the Boxes
"I have 3 house rules..."
"1-no dying, if you're gonna die go outside 2- no throwing paper towels, do you want broken shit? Cuz that's how you break shit. 3- no smoking meth! That one is self explanatory"
-- dvon988
Cat's Away
"Whistling. My wife has a weird thing about it after her father forbade it when she was a kid. Little does she know, I whistle the sh** out of this place when she's not home." -- OGkittenmittens
"I have a weird aversion to whistling too. Probably because I can't really whistle. There was this guy who'd come in to my old job to shop and he'd whistle the whole time. It drove me crazy. Idk why I just thought it was really weird to whistle throughout your entire grocery trip." -- AdditionalDoor9
So don't feel too bad if you have a super bizarre rule in your house that alienates a few people here and there. Evidently, that's common.
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Have you ever heard of a certain job that people call a career and thought... "PEOPLE PAY YOU FOR THAT?!?!"
All hard, honest work is good work.
And then there is just trash work.
And I don't mean garbage collection, that is honest work.
I don't know how some people live with themselves.
Redditor MrTuxedo1 wanted to discuss the careers they don't believe people should chase. They asked:
"What job do you have no respect for?"
Ticket scalpers. How do you the audacity to say that's a job?
Actual burglars have more empathy.
Disrespectful
"There are debt collectors who call relatives of the deceased to pay off their debts when they are not legally obligated to."
Top_Gun_2021
Shady. Shady.
"Australian Real Estate Agents. Laws don't seem to apply to them. Just as dodgy in sales and rentals alike. Never seen anything like it overseas."
snave_
"I'm in the US, it can vary state by state but my state is pretty strict on realtor laws. Some states require attorney review and there are definitely penalties for being reported for shady sh*t. It does require consumer reporting though."
ilostmytaco
Etransfer
"Where I live, tax info was leaked and now scammers are targeting low income individuals/families (people earning under 30,000 per year) with etransfer scams. I got one the other day that was an etransfer warning that 240$ 'a family member sent me' was about to expire."
SnowyInuk
"That’s disgusting. The scammers know what they’re doing, they know the harm they cause people and yet they don’t care."
surelysandwitch
Should be illegal...
"MLM managers. Not the low level idiots that get suckered into it, they suck too for trying to bring new people into that sh*tshow, but the people who create them know exactly what they are doing and are pretty much the only ones who profit off of it. Should be illegal. Pyramid schemes are illegal. None of them ever get the just desserts except occasionally by vigilantes I assume."
Wereno
I hate debt collectors. Yeah, you calling me one hundred times a week is going to miraculously make money appear.
Animals
"Paparazzi."
VictorBlimpmuscle
"I met Jack Gleeson (King Joffrey from Game of Thrones) at a bus stop in Dublin. Really nice guy but he said he quit acting due to people being nasty online and constant hounding from paparrazi. He's happier now but it sucks that he was pushed away from a career he was quite good at."
goobi94
Scumbags
"The pastors at mega churches whom ask their followers for money for private jets. Absolute scum to abuse others faith for your own greed."
ichancho
"Brian Tamaki is a greedy freaking pig, he takes advantage of so many people who are already struggling. Every time he’s in the local news (which btw is often) I get more and more pissed off at him and his wife. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Tamaki "
surelysandwitch
it’s a thing???
“'Dating Expert.' Sadly it’s a thing. It’s basically a self appointed title that requires no training or qualifications. What’s worse, is that I have a female friend who uses one. It’s very much a blind leading the blind situation."
Mean_Manufacturer_61
"Most of the self proclaimed “dating coaches” I know are women in their late 30s or early 40s who have never been married or had a longer relationship."
ipozgaj
EVIL
"Poachers. Especially big game poachers who purposefully hunt nearly extinct animals from species they know they are on the brink."
"I know there are poachers that come from rural villages who are trying to just put food on the table, which has my sympathy but poachers who come from money and hunt down animals minding their business in most shelters or restricted areas just to put a head on their wall as a trophy are absolutely heinous."
GetterdoneObiwan
I See It All
"Psychic Mediums. Specifically those who prey on the grieving."
JamesDeadite
"I've always found it interesting how many magicians go after people like this. I think it's because they know what it takes to trick people for the art. The slight of hand and mentalism. And they abhor people who use these tactics for such sh*tty purposes."
34HoldOn
I want so bad to believe in psychics and mediums. What say we on that topic?
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The nose is constantly being attacked by odors of the world.
Going through one day without having to hold my breath during a certain point, is a miracle.
Of course, I'm a New Yorker, so I maybe exaggerating for people in the countryside.
What's funnier is odors that are pleasant, that shouldn't be.
Have you ever looked and something and thought... "yuck."
But then you smelled it and it was like... "oh lovely,"
Redditor HappQueue wanted to know what aromas are arousing to the senses that may come as a surprise to many. They asked:
"What smells good but shouldn't?"
For some odd reason I love the things burning. Anything, food, pots, pans. You name it. Weird.
Blow
"Matches/candles on a birthday cake. I remember lighting matches as a kid purely to blow them out and inhale that sweet match-y smell."
semispooked
"guilty good"
"I work at a Chemical plant. We make a highly acidic product that is dark blue, viscus, highly corrosive, and smells exactly like Fruit Loops. It is incredibly disturbing."
Turin082
"Organic chemistry has many 'guilty good' smells. Thiophosgene (sulfur derivative of a chemical weapon used extensively in WW1) apparently smells like meat. Phosgene is used to make polycarbonate, thiophosgene is used to make some sulfur-containing molecules which eventually end up in therapeutic drugs."
HammerTh_1701
I can't huff it...
"Paint, specifically house paint. I love the smell. But anytime I hear that anyone is painting a room or their house, I volunteer. I just love sitting on the floor in a room that's been freshly painted, closing my eyes and just inhaling that slightly chemically, slightly creamy aroma."
Neowza
A Hint of French...
"A fish and chips shop burnt down as couple blocks from work a few years ago. The whole neighborhood smelled amazing for days. Just the slight hint of French fries. Nothing overpowering. It was so awesome. Until I found out someone was trapped in the fire and died."
stevey_frac
Drag
"Race fuel. Instantly puts me in a good mood as it reminds me of going to the drag races with my dad when I was young."
garfnodie
Fuel and matches get me too. And they sort of go together. Interesting.
Just like the Movie...
"The water from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Mmm, bromine."
Stalkerslovemy
"This is one of my favorite scents of all time, and Disney is very aware that people enjoy it. Evidently it’s a lot harder to recreate than just adding bromine to water."
cash4panties
"black widow".
"There's a chicken wing restaurant near my house that has a challenge sauce called "black widow." The owner claims it to be around 500,000 scovilles. A few years back some buddies and I decided to try them, the sauce was a dark molasses color and smelled almost like a BBQ sauce, no hint of the danger that lurked at all. We each grabbed one wing and it went terribly. I don't know how something so spicy could smell so innocent."
Final-Chapter
Endless Weekend
"Hotel/rented rooms whenever you go on vacation. There's this particular smell that just says 'you are on vacation,' especially on a beach/swimming trips/out-of-the-town vacays."
Yummy_Llama
"Bath and Body Works has a plug-in scent called Endless Weekend that replicates that scent (to my humble nose)."
Exxcentrica
"oh no..."
"Someone you are attracted to's body odors. Anyone else who is slightly unhygienic smells repulsive."
Mini_gunslinger
"I remember back in high school a girl leaned over, sniffed me, told me that I smelled really good, and asked me what cologne I was wearing. I asked if she was joking, and she's like, no, you smell really good. When I told her I had just gotten done with gym class, she gets a small 'oh no...' look on her face and turns away. I think we both had a revelation that day."
user deleted
That Smell
"The smell inflatable things give off. I have no idea how to describe it, but it’s… nostalgic? to me."
crestfxllen
I do love the smell of plastics and inflatables. Ahh....
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At one point in time, we've misplaced things that we've considered priceless possessions.
It's hard to imagine how to go on without the lost object–whatever it may be–but over time, it becomes a distant memory and we move on.
That is until we magically find ourselves presented with this opportunity proposed by Redditor mikehotel288, who asked:
"You find yourself in a room with everything you’ve ever lost in your life. What do you look for first?"
There are necessities people cannot do without.
No More Dry Lips Ever Again
"Gonna be a lot of chapstick in that room."
– camefromxbox
There are things that bring us comfort and are irreplaceable.
Safety Blanket
"My baby blanket. It became tattered over the years—to the point where I couldn’t reasonably wash it anymore—so I had to throw it away a little while back."
"I have heavily regretted that decision. I was really attached to it (hence it being in tatters), but I really wish that I kept what was left of it instead of throwing it away. Just knowing that I’d still have it would be a huge comfort to me."
– Uearie
Sentimental Heirloom
"The pendant my dad had made for me with my grandmother’s engagement diamond. It was 2 carats. It disappeared from a Las Vegas hotel room 20 years ago. It was hidden deep in a suitcase where it would not have been easy to find. It was just GONE. Cops didn’t do anything. Didn’t even come to take my statement. Cleaning lady said she thought she saw an elderly man enter my room. The guy I was with was not sympathetic in the least. Entire situation was f**ked. I’m still so upset about it."
– MaritimeDisaster
Lone Shark
"My plastic shark toy I lost when I was 10. Ain't no f'king way it just VANISHED."
– Guilty_As_Charged__
Not everything lost is tangible.
Tick Tock
"The time I wasted."
– shinyfennec
It Holds Value
"My private key with 6 BTC in it."
– Significant_Mirror19
"I didn't lose one, but I'll check my room for yours just in case."
– Smodphan
Finding Purpose
"The reason I walked into the room."
– Lloyd_lyle
Lost Opportunity
"That one girl i spoke to on omegle lol"
– h-amishh
If only we get to reunite with those we've lost.
The Loved Family Member
"My grandpa."
– Splatty_boi_420
Grieving Parent
"My daughter. She’ll be in my brother’s arms. So I’ll find both things I care to look for."
– SeeTheFence
Missing Mom
"My mom. She died of cancer in 2017. She never got to meet my daughter. I miss the hell out of her and wish she was still part of my family’s life."
– X-Arkturis-X
The Animals That Come Into Our Lives
"My pets that have passed: especially my horse, Blue. It's been 4 years, but it feels like just yesterday."
– Baciandrio
While many of these scenarios are unlikely, the thread gave people an opportunity to reflect on the things that made a strong impression on their lives.
Sometimes, the memories of the things we've lost–whether they are random objects or sources of love–is all we have.
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What's worse than returning home from a night out or a workday and discovering your home was broken into? Being home when the break-in happens.
Home invasions are a common trope portrayed in horror films like The Strangers and Funny Games, and they're absolutely terrifying because they are based on real-life incidents.
Redditor silentagent47 asked strangers to consider this horrifying hypothetical.
"You have 5 minutes to prepare before a guy breaks into your house with the intention to kill you. You can not exit your house. What is your strategy to survive?"
The hunter becomes the hunted, inspired by TV and movies.
Duplicating A Scene
"There was an episode of Burn Notice where Michael puts aerosol cans in the microwave with kitchen utensils and hits popcorn button. I really want to know if this works or not."
– JohnSterlingSanchez
Epic Burglar Trap
"Speed-watch Home Alone."
– pluribusduim
It's about the choice of weapon.
Jump Scare
"I get the vacuum cleaner ready in a certain room, I turn it on as hes about to enter to create a distraction, then I jump out when he's inspecting the noise and bonk the f'ker on the head with the piece of 2 inch steel tube I keep as a weapon."
– BustedBastard
Beware of Dog
"Unleash the Hounds"
– myassonreddit
Make A Weapon
"Duct tape a bunch of knives to the end of one of those tall lamps to make a spear of blinding and then proceed to go sicko mode."
– DubTheeBustocles
Preparing For A Thwack
"Turn shower on, for some reason I have a shovel behind my wardrobe?? So grab that. Wait for him to check shower, whack with shovel. Boom."
– hypersp00p
It's Just A Game
"Corner camp with a shotgun."
– Arrow3619
A Warm Welcome
"Hairspray and a lighter to his face."
– WorkingClassSheep
The effectiveness of these tactics are questionable, but points for creativity are warranted.
Stand Still
"Put a lamp shade on my head and stand in the corner of the room."
– Cannabis_Sir
Make It Erotic
"I turn on all the lights, take off all my clothes, rub butter all over myself, and start a fake conversation on the phone. As soon as he breaks in I say into the phone: 'I’ve gotta go, my next appointment is finally here…”
– FrankieTheAlchemist
Forget The Stairs
"Go to the LIVING ROOM."
– on-oath-never-again
Removing The Element Of Fun
"Draw an X on my forehead and grab a beer."
– Candycoatedmuffin3
And that's why I would opt for living in a commune or apartment complex.
People who own houses are just asking for forced entry.
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