Walker Lamond is the author of Rules for My Unborn Son, in which he brings us this collection of traditional, humorous, and urbane fatherly advice for boys.
1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them.
2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message.
3. Dont knock it til you try it.
4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.
5. Always use we when referring to your home team or your government.
6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
7. DONT underestimate free throws in a game of HORSE.
8. Just because you can doesnt mean you should.
9. Dont dumb it down.
10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.
11. If youre staying more than one night, unpack.
12. Never park in front of a bar.
13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.
14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first girl/boyfriend.
15. Hold your heroes to a high standard.
16. A suntan is earned, not bought.
17. Never lie to your doctor.
18. All guns are loaded.
19. Dont mention sunburns. Believe me, they know.
20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if its only once.
21. Take a vacation from your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.
22. Dont fill up on bread, no matter how good it is.
23. A handshake beats an autograph.
24. Dont linger in the doorway. In or out.
25. If you choose to go in drag, dont sell yourself short.
26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.
27. Never get your haircut the day of a special event.
28. Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets.
29. Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.
30. When youre with new friends, dont just talk about old friends.
31. Eat lunch with the new kids.
32. When traveling, keep your wits about you.
33. Its never too late for an apology.
34. Dont pose with booze.
35. If you have right of way, TAKE IT.
36. You dont get to choose your own nickname.
37. When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.
38. Never push someone off a dock.
39. Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she is pregnant.
40. Its not enough to be proud of your ancestry, live up to it.
41. Dont make a scene.
42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.
43. Know when to ignore the camera.
44. Never gloat.
45. Invest in great luggage.
46. Make time for your mom on your birthday, Its her special day too.
47. When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.
48. Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp.
49. Give credit. Take Blame.
50. Suck it up every now and again.
51. Never be the last one in the pool.
52. Dont stare.
53. Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.
54. Stand up to bullies. Youll only have to do it once.
55. If youve made your point, stop talking.
56. Admit it when youre wrong.
57. If you offer to help dont quit until the job is done.
58. Look people in the eye when you thank them.
59. Thank the bus driver.
60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table.
61. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
62. Know at least one good joke.
63. Dont boo. Even the ref is somebodys son.
64. Know how to cook one good meal.
65. Learn to drive a stick shift.
66. Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.
67. Its okay to go to the movies by yourself.
68. Dance with your mother/father.
69. Dont lose your cool. Especially at work.
70. Always thank the host.
71. If you dont understand, ask before its too late.
72. Know the size of your boyfriend/girlfriend's clothes.
73. There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt.
74. Be a good listener. Dont just take your turn to talk.
75. Keep your word.
76. In college always sit in the front. Youll stand out immediately. Come grade time it might come in handy.
77. Carry your mothers bags. She carried you for 9 months.
78. Be patient with airport security. They are just doing their job.
79. Dont be the talker in a movie.
80. The opposite sex likes people who shower.
81. You are what you do. Not what you say.
82. Learn to change a tire.
83. Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.
84. An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it.
85. Dont litter.
86. If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.
87. You wont always be the strongest of fastest. But you can be the toughest.
88. Never call someone before or after 9 AM and 9PM.
89. Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.
90. Make the little things count.
91. Always wear a bra at work.
92. There is a fine line between looking sultry and slutty. Find it.
93. Youre never too old to need your mom.
94. Ladies, if you make the decision to wear heels on the first date commit to keeping them on and toning down how much your feet kill.
95. Know the words to your national anthem.
96. Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun than sitting on the bench alone.
97. Smile at strangers.
98. Make Goals.
99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.
100. If you HAVE to fight, punch first and punch hard.
See more amazing work by Walker Lamond in his Blog, or find his book on Amazon.
Time-Lapse Video Shows What A Rocket Launch Looks Like From Outer SpaceโAnd It's Dazzling ๐ฎ
We've all seen videos of rockets launching from the ground, but what does the event look like from space?
European Astronaut Alexander Gerst, on board the International Space Station, managed to capture time-lapse footage of the Russian Progress MS-10 cargo spacecraft flying through Earth's atmosphere on its way to delivering supplies to ISS.
Very few people will ever have the chance to see an event like this in person.
Russian Rocket Launch Seen by Space Station - Amazing Time-Lapse Video youtu.be
Gerst created the video by setting up a camera to take regular photos through the wrap-around Cupola window of the station, which resulted in a video roughly 16 times faster than real life. Watching the rocket launch in person took 16 minutes but, in Gerst's video, the launch, stage one re-entry, and escape from the atmosphere all occur within one minute.
@_TheSeaning @Space_Station That's awesome!โ Scott Waby (@Scott Waby) 1542898886.0
The rocket in the video, known as Progress 71, was on its way to delivering 5,652 pounds of supplies to ISS. The next flight, pushed back to December 3 after a sensor malfunction resulted in the cancellation of an October 11 liftoff, will bring replacement personnel for NASA astronaut Serena Auรฑรณn-Chancellor and Russian cosmonaut Sergey Prokopyev. Both have been in orbit since June).
If all goes according to plan, the Canadian astronaut David Saint-Jacques will take off from the steppes of Kazakhsโฆ https://t.co/o0LpNWTsJQโ CTV Vancouver (@CTV Vancouver) 1543800600.0
People online were amazed by the footage from space.
@_TheSeaning @Space_Station Seรกn, thank you for this. THIS is easily one of THE most mesmerising, and exquisitely sโฆ https://t.co/a440XaOEX6โ Nathanial_LB - ูุซููุงู (@Nathanial_LB - ูุซููุงู) 1542915054.0
@_TheSeaning @jasonrdavis @Space_Station SO COOOOLโ Justin Foley (@Justin Foley) 1542908365.0
@_TheSeaning @Space_Station wow. just...wow. this is incredibleโ Sarafina Nance (@Sarafina Nance) 1542918245.0
I hardly think I need to hyperbolize this at all, because itโs simply so freaking cool: Time-lapse video of a rockeโฆ https://t.co/lx32324AWvโ Phil Plait (@Phil Plait) 1542989889.0
@BadAstronomer I watched this 5 times with my jaw on the floor... And then made everyone around the Thanksgiving taโฆ https://t.co/iMbSm8nvIOโ Marc Leatham (@Marc Leatham) 1542990342.0
@BadAstronomer @LongDogSecurity https://t.co/Yv3YZQI9Oeโ MO News DAilY (@MO News DAilY) 1543001454.0
@BadAstronomer I think thatโs the most beautiful photo of Earth Iโve ever seenโ Ben Migliore (@Ben Migliore) 1543092741.0
@freak1ngawesome Reverse of shooting starโ Shivani Jadeja (@Shivani Jadeja) 1543667552.0
@AntonioParis What an inspiring way to begin my day! Thank you! ๐ซ๐โ๐ปโ Heather Call-Me-Elf-One-More-Time Hartley (@Heather Call-Me-Elf-One-More-Time Hartley) 1543492212.0
Videos like these are a nice reminder that space truly is the final frontier! If ISS is looking for a soundtrack to put behind their video, we have an idea:
Star Trek: The Next Generation Intro HD youtu.be
White Supremacists Used App To Trick Brett Favre And Soulja Boy Into Recording Messages Supporting Anti-Semitism
White supremacists are truly a scourge. Every time they think you can't go lower, they find a new way to burrow underground and prove you completely wrong, as they did when they targeted two celebrities over the internet and tricked them into spewing garbage.
Brett Favre, star football player, and Soulja Boy, recording artists, were approached by a group claiming to be "a U.S. veterans organization for Cameo, a company that enables consumers to book personalized video greetings from celebrities."
Favre recorded the message, assuming the "request stemmed from [his] interest in veterans affairs" and recorded the message, a service that the perpetrators paid $500+ to complete.
Later on, Favre found his request was appropriated for the agenda of an anti-Semitic hate group.
"I was distressed to learn that the request came from an anti-Semitic group that reposted my video with comments implying that I endorsed their mission. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am therefore donating my $500 Cameo fee to Charities supporting their fight against hate and bigotry."
I'm on Cameo & kinda jealous they didn't request me. Maybe I need to lower my price? Most importantly Brett Favre dโฆ https://t.co/8hsC292nRsโ Tom Arnold (@Tom Arnold) 1543784713.0
@TomArnold How do you not know something is anti-Semitic. #ComeOnโ keith lyle (@keith lyle) 1543785859.0
@BuzzFeedNews Log everyone off everything nowโ Zinskฤ (@Zinskฤ) 1543635691.0
The organization refers to itself as the GDL, or Goyim Defense League. "Goyim" is the Hebrew word for a non-Jewish person.
According to BuzzFeed News, the group is run by two YouTubers who go by "Handsome Truth" and "Sway Guevara."
"Brett Favre here with a shoutout to the Handsome Truth and the GDL boys," they tricked Favre into saying. "You guys are patriots in my eyes. So keep waking them up and don't let the small get you down. Keep fighting, too, and don't ever forget the USS Liberty and the men and women who died on that day. God bless and take care."
The coded phrases here include "small" for "small hats," a slur for yarmulkes, and the USS Liberty:
"The USS Liberty is a dog whistle referring to an incident in 1967 where Israeli forces fired on the US spy ship, killing 34, during the Six-Day War. In the aftermath, Israel said that its pilots had thought the ship was an Egyptian vessel, and apologized โ the government eventually paid out $6.7 million in reparations to the survivors and families of the dead. Ever since, there have been unproven conspiracy theories surrounding the circumstances that question whether the attack was intentional. Both the Israeli and the United States governments have said that it was a case of mistaken identity."
Soulja Boy was also tricked by the group, recording a video saying "Shoutout to Handsome Truth and Sway at GDL," and "GDL for life, b*tch."
The head of the group, Handsome Truth, admitted to the deception in a Livestream on Wednesday:
"Here's the deal, guys, they can reject it if they don't like it, right, so we were trying to get it, like โ we wanted to be cryptic enough to where they would say it."
@BuzzFeedNews Sellebrities. I feel bad for people who are forced to treat themselves as products.โ TomCat (@TomCat) 1543635593.0
@BuzzFeedNews Only in America...way to go potus, maga sadly ๐๐ฅ๐ !!!โ S Johnson (@S Johnson) 1543677369.0
@BuzzFeedNews This is what happens when youโll do anything for money and fame...โ gwyn (@gwyn) 1543641284.0
@BuzzFeedNews What a load of garbage!โ Klopezdranat Tagor (@Klopezdranat Tagor) 1543682300.0
"Soulja Boy was unaware that the video on Cameo was tied to a group that promotes hate," said a Soulja Boy spokesperson. "The promo video was what the Cameo had directed and in no way supports his personal beliefs. He greatly apologizes to anyone who may have been offended."
The malice of this particular incident runs deep.
"On or about November 22nd, Cameo talent received requests that appeared to be aimed at supporting the American military. After recording the videos Cameo learned that the request came from an anti-Semitic group and contained content that could be interpreted as anti-Semitic," Cameo said in a statement to BuzzFeed News.
"This was a blatant misuse of the Cameo platform and a violation of Cameo's terms of service. This is the first incident of its kind in more than 93,000 Cameos and a gross misrepresentation of the talent's political beliefs," the statement continued. "Cameo immediately removed the videos from the website, requested YouTube to remove the content and created new filters to prevent this from happening in the future. The user has been banned from purchasing Cameos."
But will it quell the hate speech? Racism, anti-Semitism, homophobia, and misogyny have become commonplace since the election of Donald Trump, and it seems there are weekly incidents of that bigotry. Patrick Little, profiled by the Anti-Defamation League for spreading anti-Semitic hate speech, ran for State Senate in California, winning less than 2% of the vote and being barred from all California Republican events for his gross anti-Semitism. He greatly endorsed the white supremacists' actions.
If historical signs are correct, this sort of speech is likely to be misunderstood and catch fire, thereby inspiring even more hatred. The fight against bigotry must get stronger.
It only costs $500 to get Brett Favre to say something on video. So white supremacists used him to endorse anti-Semโฆ https://t.co/VdkFnujxrKโ Gabriel Snyder (@Gabriel Snyder) 1543780513.0
Alexa, show me 2018 in one headline. https://t.co/7HtmwySIU4 via @mashableโ Will Greenwald is still spooky in November (@Will Greenwald is still spooky in November) 1543754183.0
@mashable @BrettFavre may have been tricked, but vicious @ScottWalker taught our children to be Nazis and the bestโฆ https://t.co/7gMTCQCmRVโ Brian Keith O'Hara (@Brian Keith O'Hara) 1543758130.0
just alt right folks paying Brett favre to unwittingly endorse anti semitism, the world is definitely not fundamentโฆ https://t.co/JaeOo61dXJโ R Zach Lamberty (@R Zach Lamberty) 1543635101.0
H/T: BuzzFeed News, Mashable
This Store Clerk's Reaction To A Stolen Sneaker Prank Should Earn Him Employee Of The Month
Twitter user @HarvinthSkin decided to give a sales associate as his local shoe store a heart attack with a silly prank. All over the internet, people are sharing the prank and sending their well-wishes to the poor worker who experienced a moment of pure panic!
I had to give it a try? ๐๐คท๐พโโ๏ธ Instagram : @harvinthskin https://t.co/Am45kGWYLQโ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543237039.0
Don't worry too much about the unfortunate sales employee, howeverโit turns out he was given a raise as a consolation shortly thereafter!
I apologised and gave man like Martin a hug after that! ๐๐๐ JD Sports, give him a raise! ๐ต Do not try this unless youโre Zizan โ๏ธโ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543238141.0
The owner of the shoe store made clear to Skin that his employees were not to be messed with.
IM SO HAPPY THAT MAN LIKE MARTIN IS SEEN HERE WITH THE BOSS OF JD SPORTS ASIA AND IS GETTING A RAISE FOR HIS VALIANโฆ https://t.co/vL5QO2xCB5โ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543300966.0
The Big Boss of JD Sports MY! Fuck me ๐๐๐๐๐๐ https://t.co/nq3O0bdS92โ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543239495.0
On Twitter, people loved the sales clerk's reaction to Skin running out of the store.
@harvinthskin That sales be like https://t.co/0i27D7vIWKโ Ignasius Kurniawan (@Ignasius Kurniawan) 1543239042.0
@harvinthskin Best one yet cause he went out the store lmaoโ Andradรฉ (@Andradรฉ) 1543265867.0
Some thought they may have reacted differently in the same situation...
@harvinthskin @thirdeyescribe Me watching you run out of the store like https://t.co/31kkJcHjOVโ The Count ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ (@The Count ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ) 1543370777.0
But everyone got a good laugh out of the innocent prank.
@harvinthskin @kxsxhh This shit was so funny....it made my dayโ Manvir (@Manvir) 1543247327.0
@harvinthskin @queenb0414 ๐๐๐๐๐๐ https://t.co/bejrX57i6wโ ๐ (@๐) 1543275269.0
@harvinthskin @iced_coffeee https://t.co/bqP08ZK3r9โ Manuel Jr. (@Manuel Jr.) 1543358200.0
The incident also gave us some priceless reactions!
@harvinthskin โwhew my bruce lee almost came outโ https://t.co/SOUOZ4IzBEโ Nyree. (@Nyree.) 1543344926.0
@harvinthskin @ClassyyMocha ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฆโโ๏ธSaw his whole life n last paycheck that fast!!โ โFZA of FUPA-Tang Clan๐ง๐ฟ (@โFZA of FUPA-Tang Clan๐ง๐ฟ) 1543288463.0
@sofarhangone @harvinthskin @ChiSupreme @llma95_ Run up? More like run out!! https://t.co/HwHu2TT4vOโ Desi Kubrick (@Desi Kubrick) 1543320755.0
Remember, everyone: it's important to try before you buy!
@harvinthskin @mjcz1 @LeeODell84 @reevesyboi93 try before you buy. why notโ 494949494949 (@494949494949) 1543512590.0
High School Administration Under Fire For Breaking Into A Bathroom Stall While Transgender Student Was Using It
Cece is a 16-year-old transgender girl from Maple Grove, Minnesota.
She is a student at Osseo Senior High School and recently had a traumatic experience at school.
On Wednesday, Cece posted two videos, one of which is very disturbing, to her Facebook regarding an incident she experienced.
While Cece was using the bathroom at school, staff forced their way into the stall she was in.
Again, Cece is 16 years old.
Her post reads:
"SCHOOL OSSEO SEINOR HIGH ๐จ
I Guess I Can't Use The Girls Bathroom Just Because I'm Transgender ๐ Share This & MAKE IT GO VIRAL โผ๏ธ I Been Violating By Principal and Admin and Hallmonters
This Was Today 11/28/18 ๐ Ms Smith Had Nothing To Do With This"
One video showed all of the school officials she wanted to publicly name who participated in the incident.
The other showed the actual incident.
Cece's self-recorded video shows her sitting on the toilet with her pants down while a school official uses a makeshift device to reach over the stall to unlock the door.
A spokesperson for Osseo Schools stated:
"Social media posts are significantly misrepresenting the incident and that staff works very hard every day to help ensure an inclusive school where all students feel welcome, respected and safe."
They refused to comment further saying:
"We wish we could provide additional details about this incident but are committed to protecting the student's right to data privacy."
Some reports claim that Cece had previously been told not to use the women's restroom.
However, in 2017 the Minnesota Department of Education (MDOE) ruled in favor of students like Cece.
MDOE guidance states:
"Transgender and gender nonconforming students should be afforded the opportunity to use the restroom of their choice."
People also can not help but note the fact that at age 16, Cece is a minor.
Adults forcing themselves into her stall while she used the bathroom is even more appalling.
Moriah Skai Kiskaden (Facebook)
Look, guys, when a kid is in the bathroom stall with their pants down, and you pry open the stall, exposing them toโฆ https://t.co/rzMktZEkEBโ Thomas Page (@Thomas Page) 1543690840
This should be sexual assault assault of a minor. Anyone involved should IMMEDIATELY be relieved from their positioโฆ https://t.co/M5ByUSBvBPโ CrystalshineMarie (@CrystalshineMarie) 1543626160
Regardless of the unknown circumstances, the internet is outraged over the adult school staff's actions.
1st thing I saw this AM & now I canโt stop thinking about it. Unless she was assaulting another student, there isโฆ https://t.co/nkeudm8mANโ BadAssGrandma (@BadAssGrandma) 1543679009
Transphobic adults literally busted the bathroom door open on a trans high school student today in Minnesota bc theโฆ https://t.co/rojArsFW9Qโ mother sister (@mother sister) 1543465561
Look at the face of the woman who has unlocked the bathroom door!Arrogant assholes https://t.co/X98JSgHgMxโ Teresa Culhane (@Teresa Culhane) 1543698568
Cece's video and story has indeed gone viral. But what happens now remains to be seen.
H/T: Pink News, Facebook, Daily Dot, Bring Me The News