Men are confusing creatures, even to other men. We do weird things, act tough for no reason, and often fear emotion. Why? Who knows.
Rancerle asked men of Reddit: What about men confuses you?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
10. We don't get it either.
Everything. I don't know how I got this far.
Same. I was raised by a single mother. I don't understand just about everything guys do as a group and I get super uncomfortable around more than one or two of them anyway
Ten percent luck
Twenty percent skill
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will
Five percent pleasure
Fifty percent bluffing my a-- off and having no one call me on it
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name.
9. Because men aren't supposed to feel.
Why is so hard to make friends as adults? It was so easy when I was a kid, even as a teenager, but now everybody want to either sell me something or making me work for free, like, everyone I meet just want to talk business, usually bad business.
I can make female friends, but not male friends, WTF?
This speaks to me. I have lots of female friends and can regularly get them to hang out but making commitments with guy friends is impossible. Then I'll meet a cool guy and try to find a time to hang out and... nothing.
Women generally tend to be interested in people. It amazes me how little dudes generally talk about each other's lives. You're conditioned to shun emotion.
8. Toxic masculinity is ruining the world.
I'm always confused by men who want to start fights and are constantly aggressive. I'm a Marine, so I know what it feels like to be amped up on adrenaline and what it's like to fight. All that means the last thing I ever want to do when I'm out at a bar is get into a fight, let along start one over something stupid. There have certainly been a couple times when I've had to calm myself down, but everyone has those experiences. I just hate hothead macho men with nothing better to do than look for opportunities to be outraged by something. It's like dogs who think they see someone they don't know in front of their house.
7. "Whoa.=, I wish I was that cool." - Nobody
Loud mufflers. They don't make your Honda sound like a Ferrari. They make it sound like a broken Honda.
One of my friends the other day was super confused as to why people don't like loud mufflers.
I can't imagine any situation where I'd have my conversation interrupted by loud rumbling and not be pissed off
You mean people don't like being woken up in the morning or dead of night by some twats belting up and down the motorway in their sh!tmobiles?
I wish it were legal to jam the exhausts up.
6. F*ck off, the mood.
Why do they always want to fight after any sort of conflictโI yelled "nice" at this guy who cut in front of traffic and he rolled down his window and yelled "let's f*ckin fight bro come on."
Last year I was letting my dog out, my neighbors have a bonfire going. I ask over the fence "making smores?" And the guy just looks at me and yells "GO F*CK YOURSELF" and stares me down. Seems a reasonable reaction.
Probably just didn't want to share his smores the greedy bastard
5. "cAuSe It'S gAy..."
The men that are scared to hang out 1 on 1 because someone might think we're on a date. It's real, look it up.
Funny you say that. A good friend of mine and I grab food every few months. We went to a restaurant (ok, it was Olive Garden) and the hostess tried seating us next to one another, side by side.
She blushed when I elected to sit across the table. Can't two dudes enjoy a night at Olive Garden when they want without everyone thinking it's a date??
Homophobia runs so f*cking deep it's not even funny. I'll never understand why people are afraid of people they have never met thinking they're gay. Or just people in general thinking that, literally who cares.
4. Mind the gap.
When I'm standing at a urinal peeing and a guy comes up to use the one right next to me and there are clearly open urinals further down the row. Why do this? Don't you know you're breaking men's restroom etiquette?
A guy at my work not only does this, but will start talking. F*ck off bud, some of us are pee shy!
As for people who try to talk while they're sat on the toilet, there is nobody on the planet I want to talk to while something is halfway out of their butthole.
3. Narrator: it isn't.
You really think the way to a girls heart is by sending her a picture of your penis?
Oddly, quite effective on Grindr though.
2. Lift the seat.
Why do you pee all over the seat and not clean it? I get when you have to go badly and no time to lift the seat. But you have to know you made a mess and I'm sure when you walk into a piss covered stall you also get pissed.
Especially when they do it in their own house. Over at a friend's house and there's piss splattered on the floor or wall around the toilet. Dude, if you can't get it all in the pot, just sit down. It's your own house. You're pissing all over your own house. I don't get it.
1. Guys, chill.
I'm not hitting on your damn gf I'm just trying to see if our answers for the homework are the same.
I was talking to a girl about a project we had to do For a graduate class and I was asking her for help with one specific part of it. While I was messaging her through Facebook, I got another message from her boyfriend that said, "Stop messaging my girlfriend and worry about yourself."
He was a cop who had graduated from college like a year before. I said to her, "uh I think your boyfriend just messaged me." I sent her the screen cap of his message and she apologized for him, and I'm assuming she talked to him. Every time I saw him he'd give me the stink eye or something. They eventually got married. I hope that's going well.
White Supremacists Used App To Trick Brett Favre And Soulja Boy Into Recording Messages Supporting Anti-Semitism
White supremacists are truly a scourge. Every time they think you can't go lower, they find a new way to burrow underground and prove you completely wrong, as they did when they targeted two celebrities over the internet and tricked them into spewing garbage.
Brett Favre, star football player, and Soulja Boy, recording artists, were approached by a group claiming to be "a U.S. veterans organization for Cameo, a company that enables consumers to book personalized video greetings from celebrities."
Favre recorded the message, assuming the "request stemmed from [his] interest in veterans affairs" and recorded the message, a service that the perpetrators paid $500+ to complete.
Later on, Favre found his request was appropriated for the agenda of an anti-Semitic hate group.
"I was distressed to learn that the request came from an anti-Semitic group that reposted my video with comments implying that I endorsed their mission. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am therefore donating my $500 Cameo fee to Charities supporting their fight against hate and bigotry."
I'm on Cameo & kinda jealous they didn't request me. Maybe I need to lower my price? Most importantly Brett Favre dโฆ https://t.co/8hsC292nRsโ Tom Arnold (@Tom Arnold) 1543784713.0
@TomArnold How do you not know something is anti-Semitic. #ComeOnโ keith lyle (@keith lyle) 1543785859.0
@BuzzFeedNews Log everyone off everything nowโ Zinskฤ (@Zinskฤ) 1543635691.0
The organization refers to itself as the GDL, or Goyim Defense League. "Goyim" is the Hebrew word for a non-Jewish person.
According to BuzzFeed News, the group is run by two YouTubers who go by "Handsome Truth" and "Sway Guevara."
"Brett Favre here with a shoutout to the Handsome Truth and the GDL boys," they tricked Favre into saying. "You guys are patriots in my eyes. So keep waking them up and don't let the small get you down. Keep fighting, too, and don't ever forget the USS Liberty and the men and women who died on that day. God bless and take care."
The coded phrases here include "small" for "small hats," a slur for yarmulkes, and the USS Liberty:
"The USS Liberty is a dog whistle referring to an incident in 1967 where Israeli forces fired on the US spy ship, killing 34, during the Six-Day War. In the aftermath, Israel said that its pilots had thought the ship was an Egyptian vessel, and apologized โ the government eventually paid out $6.7 million in reparations to the survivors and families of the dead. Ever since, there have been unproven conspiracy theories surrounding the circumstances that question whether the attack was intentional. Both the Israeli and the United States governments have said that it was a case of mistaken identity."
Soulja Boy was also tricked by the group, recording a video saying "Shoutout to Handsome Truth and Sway at GDL," and "GDL for life, b*tch."
The head of the group, Handsome Truth, admitted to the deception in a Livestream on Wednesday:
"Here's the deal, guys, they can reject it if they don't like it, right, so we were trying to get it, like โ we wanted to be cryptic enough to where they would say it."
@BuzzFeedNews Sellebrities. I feel bad for people who are forced to treat themselves as products.โ TomCat (@TomCat) 1543635593.0
@BuzzFeedNews Only in America...way to go potus, maga sadly ๐๐ฅ๐ !!!โ S Johnson (@S Johnson) 1543677369.0
@BuzzFeedNews This is what happens when youโll do anything for money and fame...โ gwyn (@gwyn) 1543641284.0
@BuzzFeedNews What a load of garbage!โ Klopezdranat Tagor (@Klopezdranat Tagor) 1543682300.0
"Soulja Boy was unaware that the video on Cameo was tied to a group that promotes hate," said a Soulja Boy spokesperson. "The promo video was what the Cameo had directed and in no way supports his personal beliefs. He greatly apologizes to anyone who may have been offended."
The malice of this particular incident runs deep.
"On or about November 22nd, Cameo talent received requests that appeared to be aimed at supporting the American military. After recording the videos Cameo learned that the request came from an anti-Semitic group and contained content that could be interpreted as anti-Semitic," Cameo said in a statement to BuzzFeed News.
"This was a blatant misuse of the Cameo platform and a violation of Cameo's terms of service. This is the first incident of its kind in more than 93,000 Cameos and a gross misrepresentation of the talent's political beliefs," the statement continued. "Cameo immediately removed the videos from the website, requested YouTube to remove the content and created new filters to prevent this from happening in the future. The user has been banned from purchasing Cameos."
But will it quell the hate speech? Racism, anti-Semitism, homophobia, and misogyny have become commonplace since the election of Donald Trump, and it seems there are weekly incidents of that bigotry. Patrick Little, profiled by the Anti-Defamation League for spreading anti-Semitic hate speech, ran for State Senate in California, winning less than 2% of the vote and being barred from all California Republican events for his gross anti-Semitism. He greatly endorsed the white supremacists' actions.
If historical signs are correct, this sort of speech is likely to be misunderstood and catch fire, thereby inspiring even more hatred. The fight against bigotry must get stronger.
It only costs $500 to get Brett Favre to say something on video. So white supremacists used him to endorse anti-Semโฆ https://t.co/VdkFnujxrKโ Gabriel Snyder (@Gabriel Snyder) 1543780513.0
Alexa, show me 2018 in one headline. https://t.co/7HtmwySIU4 via @mashableโ Will Greenwald is still spooky in November (@Will Greenwald is still spooky in November) 1543754183.0
@mashable @BrettFavre may have been tricked, but vicious @ScottWalker taught our children to be Nazis and the bestโฆ https://t.co/7gMTCQCmRVโ Brian Keith O'Hara (@Brian Keith O'Hara) 1543758130.0
just alt right folks paying Brett favre to unwittingly endorse anti semitism, the world is definitely not fundamentโฆ https://t.co/JaeOo61dXJโ R Zach Lamberty (@R Zach Lamberty) 1543635101.0
H/T: BuzzFeed News, Mashable
This Store Clerk's Reaction To A Stolen Sneaker Prank Should Earn Him Employee Of The Month
Twitter user @HarvinthSkin decided to give a sales associate as his local shoe store a heart attack with a silly prank. All over the internet, people are sharing the prank and sending their well-wishes to the poor worker who experienced a moment of pure panic!
I had to give it a try? ๐๐คท๐พโโ๏ธ Instagram : @harvinthskin https://t.co/Am45kGWYLQโ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543237039.0
Don't worry too much about the unfortunate sales employee, howeverโit turns out he was given a raise as a consolation shortly thereafter!
I apologised and gave man like Martin a hug after that! ๐๐๐ JD Sports, give him a raise! ๐ต Do not try this unless youโre Zizan โ๏ธโ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543238141.0
The owner of the shoe store made clear to Skin that his employees were not to be messed with.
IM SO HAPPY THAT MAN LIKE MARTIN IS SEEN HERE WITH THE BOSS OF JD SPORTS ASIA AND IS GETTING A RAISE FOR HIS VALIANโฆ https://t.co/vL5QO2xCB5โ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543300966.0
The Big Boss of JD Sports MY! Fuck me ๐๐๐๐๐๐ https://t.co/nq3O0bdS92โ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543239495.0
On Twitter, people loved the sales clerk's reaction to Skin running out of the store.
@harvinthskin That sales be like https://t.co/0i27D7vIWKโ Ignasius Kurniawan (@Ignasius Kurniawan) 1543239042.0
@harvinthskin Best one yet cause he went out the store lmaoโ Andradรฉ (@Andradรฉ) 1543265867.0
Some thought they may have reacted differently in the same situation...
@harvinthskin @thirdeyescribe Me watching you run out of the store like https://t.co/31kkJcHjOVโ The Count ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ (@The Count ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ) 1543370777.0
But everyone got a good laugh out of the innocent prank.
@harvinthskin @kxsxhh This shit was so funny....it made my dayโ Manvir (@Manvir) 1543247327.0
@harvinthskin @queenb0414 ๐๐๐๐๐๐ https://t.co/bejrX57i6wโ ๐ (@๐) 1543275269.0
@harvinthskin @iced_coffeee https://t.co/bqP08ZK3r9โ Manuel Jr. (@Manuel Jr.) 1543358200.0
The incident also gave us some priceless reactions!
@harvinthskin โwhew my bruce lee almost came outโ https://t.co/SOUOZ4IzBEโ Nyree. (@Nyree.) 1543344926.0
@harvinthskin @ClassyyMocha ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฆโโ๏ธSaw his whole life n last paycheck that fast!!โ โFZA of FUPA-Tang Clan๐ง๐ฟ (@โFZA of FUPA-Tang Clan๐ง๐ฟ) 1543288463.0
@sofarhangone @harvinthskin @ChiSupreme @llma95_ Run up? More like run out!! https://t.co/HwHu2TT4vOโ Desi Kubrick (@Desi Kubrick) 1543320755.0
Remember, everyone: it's important to try before you buy!
@harvinthskin @mjcz1 @LeeODell84 @reevesyboi93 try before you buy. why notโ 494949494949 (@494949494949) 1543512590.0
This Brand's Tweet History Is A Hilariously Fitting Representation Of A Brand's Life Cycle ๐
Carl's Croutons tried their hand at social media to advance their brand.
But their objective got derailed when their tweet ignited a confusing thread that sent everyone down the rabbit hole.
@topherflorence captured highlights from the thread that received over three thousand retweets for its zaniness alone.
Can you follow?
the history of every brand on twitter somehow https://t.co/fWVXsElCvrโ D๐CFUTURE (@D๐CFUTURE) 1540403954.0
The bread crumbs company endeavored to stir excitement for the brand by encouraging participation with the following tweet:
"Taking our first steps on the www!! tell us your favorite crouton recipes! #croutons #yum"
Harmless, right?

But somewhere along the way, the brand mixed business with politics. @religiousgames noticed that Carl's Croutons issued a one-word directive: vote.
The Twitter user asked, "What does it mean?"
@topherflorence What does it mean? https://t.co/IKifvva7baโ Vincent Gonzalez (@Vincent Gonzalez) 1540408943.0
Did the Carl's Croutons account manager get his social media account wires crossed? Possibly. But then we're not sure.
@topherflorence responded by saying, "lol that wasn't me i would posted something way dumber."
@religiousgames lol that wasn't me i woulda posted something way dumberโ D๐CFUTURE (@D๐CFUTURE) 1540409220.0
The following tweet from Carl's Croutons attempted damage control:
"Carl's Crutons [sic] regrets the inappropriate tweet from earlier and we sincerely apologize to the people of The Republic of Malta."

So how did Carl's Croutons insult the Republic of Malta?
@topherflorence @oggborbis ...how did they insult Malta? I need to know.โ astronaatti (@astronaatti) 1540405285.0
@Bestorb shed some light on why the Southern European island country may have been insulted by sharing a YouTube clip of episode 1008, "Final Justice," from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Did it have something to do with the country's dominant population of women?
@astronaatti @topherflorence @oggborbis https://t.co/9imm31y8cMโ Nick Bestor (@Nick Bestor) 1540429565.0
The thread spun off in all different directions.

@topherflorence @xoxogossipgita laughing hardest at crouton recipesโ super normal internet (@super normal internet) 1540492558.0

@topherflorence That last one is life ๐๐ฝโ Rich F. Santiago (@Rich F. Santiago) 1540418084.0
@topherflorence WOW this was a ride.โ Jackal's Husband, Yuko (@Jackal's Husband, Yuko) 1540405005.0
@ItsBobberto @topherflorence @austin_walker Late stage social media.โ Mr. Jackpots (@Mr. Jackpots) 1540435914.0
There were many takeaways from the esoteric thread, but the one directive really stood out.
@topherflorence @MaxKriegerVG Haha, you got me. But seriously, vote.โ Benoit Doidic (@Benoit Doidic) 1540414697.0
@topherflorence @zoebread Clever girl. https://t.co/i5VB74s8F9โ brott rambler but spooky (@brott rambler but spooky) 1540478919.0
@topherflorence @NoraReed This was a wild ride.โ Queer Eye for the Animorphs Reboot (@Queer Eye for the Animorphs Reboot) 1540412903.0
@topherflorence @seangentille Iโm experiencing a new level of cringe right nowโ Helle Hansen ๐ธ (@Helle Hansen ๐ธ) 1540423182.0
@topherflorence @ZaaackKoootzer This is the greatest thing I've seen all dayโ your very own monica bellucci dream (@your very own monica bellucci dream) 1540406700.0
@topherflorence @spacetwinks Optimistic engagement. Regret. 'How do you do, fellow kids.' Unity through shared outrโฆ https://t.co/6VGrLNPZVpโ Ink-stained @ MFF 2018 (@Ink-stained @ MFF 2018) 1540405582.0
@topherflorence @spacetwinks 2 is where they decided to hire a social media manager. 3 is when they decided to hire a different one.โ Ink-stained @ MFF 2018 (@Ink-stained @ MFF 2018) 1540412100.0
@LaserBlade @topherflorence yeah i actually think they're pretty good croutons but then again they pay me to say thatโ cool dog mowing lawn (@cool dog mowing lawn) 1540436982.0
@topherflorence @mattfx This is magically funny like Goofy doing an unannounced set in a small black roomโ M๐R (@M๐R) 1540482697.0
@topherflorence @ZaaackKoootzer This is the greatest thing I've seen all dayโ your very own monica bellucci dream (@your very own monica bellucci dream) 1540406700.0
There's still an unanswered question.
@topherflorence I need to know the Malta story thoโ NeoSorosbot (@NeoSorosbot) 1540423045.0
So who is Carl's Croutons anyway? Nobody knows. Just vote.
Clever Dog Tricks McDonald's Customers Into Feeding Her By Pretending To Be A Stray ๐
It's a dog eat dog world out there and sometimes a girl has to do what a girl has to do. At least that's what one dog owner realized when she caught her pooch trolling the streets looking for an easy meal.
Facebook user Betsy Reyes busted her dog Princess who was out moonlighting as a stray in order to play on the sympathies of strangers. It seems Princess likes to wander off to her favorite hangout, the local McDonald's, and work the drive through lane like a pro.
And that's what she did right up until Reyes busted her scam. Reyes, who lives in Oklahoma City, took to Facebook and outed Princess in the most hysterical way, saying:
"If you see my dog @ the McDonald's on shields, quit feeding her fat ass bc she don't know how to act & be leaving the house all the time to go walking to McDonald's at night. She's not even a stray dog. She's just a gold diggin ass bitch that be acting like she's a stray so people will feel bad for her & feed her burgers."
Lots of scammers out there.
@CBSNews My lab Would jump the fence every morning as I got ready to work and when I went to leave he would reappeaโฆ https://t.co/NJhg4ZuGq1โ Anneik ๐ (@Anneik ๐) 1540434345.0
@CBSNews https://t.co/UqWvClKi8zโ Bruinlover- follower of Nakia (@Bruinlover- follower of Nakia) 1540418292.0
@CBSNews I TOOK MINE TO THE DRUGSTORE AND WHILE I WAS PAYING HE STOLE A CANDY BAR, WALKED RIGHT OUT THE DOOR WIโฆ https://t.co/U3DlWunzcKโ PUEBLO294 (@PUEBLO294) 1540415919.0
@LCaro294 @CBSNews Mine stole a butterdish at my mumโs house, ate all the butter then buried the butterdish to hide the evidence.โ Tricoteuse (@Tricoteuse) 1540418005.0
@CBSNews My dog would 100% do this if she could get out of the house. On our walks she stands in the doorways of foโฆ https://t.co/33ovz44HUXโ Skulls&Bacon (@Skulls&Bacon) 1540420511.0
@BillichThomas @skullsandbacon @CBSNews 100% would hand over my bagel, if only because she looks so annoyed with meโฆ https://t.co/aQs5qKhETNโ Claire Pettie (@Claire Pettie) 1540434235.0
It's an adorable story, but maybe get the dog a collar with identification?
@CBSNews Pretends? Leaves the collar stashed around the corner, or what?โ Jim Snell (@Jim Snell) 1540429214.0
@CBSNews This is adorable but this dog should 100% be wearing a collar and also get microchipped! Love this story :)โ Minka โACABโ Eisenhower (@Minka โACABโ Eisenhower) 1540418766.0
Not everyone thought the story was cute.
@CBSNews Great way to keep your dog safe. ๐โ ๐ง๐ปโโ๏ธ Free Hugs ๐ ๐บ๐ธ๐ณ๐ด๐ซ๐ฎโฎ๏ธโ๏ธ โ๐ฑ๐ท (@๐ง๐ปโโ๏ธ Free Hugs ๐ ๐บ๐ธ๐ณ๐ด๐ซ๐ฎโฎ๏ธโ๏ธ โ๐ฑ๐ท) 1540414161.0
@CBSNews Unless you can keep your dog safe at home and not out in traffic where she could be hit by a car, stolen,โฆ https://t.co/6BMPMLYgYsโ Lindsey McBride (@Lindsey McBride) 1540435397.0
Of course, when a girl's gotta eat, a girl's gotta eat.
@chabsmescudi Funny.... but time to build a super gate. https://t.co/NZBE1s3lm6โ OEL๐๐๐ (@OEL๐๐๐) 1540238320.0
@chabsmescudi The dog: https://t.co/FSmeFYhspTโ Angie (@Angie) 1540231585.0
@BetsysReyes @chabsmescudi Your dog every night after standing on the road https://t.co/mrTCMOtOVAโ N.A.S.A (@N.A.S.A) 1540235406.0
@chabsmescudi I would have been mad if my dog didnโt bring anything back. https://t.co/qb7ED7cwMGโ Name Change (@Name Change) 1540325221.0
Let's hope Princess has learned her lesson and stays home.
H/T: Huffington Post, Mashable














