Why do some employers need to treat employees like serfs? It's bad enough that we already live in a society that devalues labor, but being personally devalued feels pretty awful.
Here were some of the answers.
I'm a teacher, so I have a million stupid rules I have to follow. But the worst one is that my performance evaluation is based on student improvement on the STAR literacy test. I teach wood shop.
At my old job, HR held a meeting to tell us that there was too much swearing on the sales floor. Someone raised their hand and pointed out that swearing is very common in our industry and that is the way that our customers speak. HR later sent out a memo explaining that swearing should be limited to conversations with clients. It was amazing.
If you are stuck in traffic on the way to work, you must email the CEO. Phone calls and texts are not permitted, only email.
I used to work at a place in which my boss implemented a no more than 2 glasses a day water policy.
I ignored this rule and complained directly to our CEO and the matter ended later that day.
What was weird though was the majority of people actually followed the rule and some even shopped me up to HR about 'breaking the rules'.
I left not long after that because not only was my boss a bellend, but if my colleagues were going to HR over me drinking water, then I obviously couldn't trust them.
Had a workplace time our bathroom breaks and deduct them from our allotted 15 minute breaks or lunch. We had to go see the office manager to get a key to open the restroom. As soon as we left his office he would start a timer... when you got back he would stop the timer and tell you how much time you needed to deduct from your lunch or next break. They watched our breaks like a hawk.
Also, if you made a mistake they would stand over you and time you while you fixed it and deduct that from your lunch or breaks.
You couldn't bring anything "that smells" for lunch and they had no way of heating anything up.
I worked out my contract and split.
The VP of our company just held a mass meeting to tell all of us we can't have pictures or plants or food or any form of non office supplied object on our desk. Tons of coworkers have family pictures or their kids' finger paintings pinned up on the cubicle walls. All that has to be removed. People were pissed.
My dad told me this one a while back. He used to work for a PR firm... The way he described the office environment, think "The Office" but in the 1980's.
The company hired a "Corporate Efficiency Specialist" to come in and "improve" things. She came in and implemented all kinds of rules, which seemed to follow some sort of caste system.
Her philosophy was, the higher your office rank, the more "perks" you get...
Her idea of perks:
Number of pictures you are allowed in your cubicle.
Whether you are allowed to have a potted plant or not.
Coffee mugs were only allowed to senior employees. Others had to use paper cups.
Being allowed to leave the office for lunch was also considered a "perk"
Needless to say, a coup soon followed, and she was tossed out on her hiney.
Dress code policy is just dumb at my work. Different positions have different requirements. Even though we all work in the same office.
My favorite rule though is the one on shorts. We can wear shorts on Fridays between memorial day and labor day. However the shorts can't have pockets on the side. It was written to discourage ratty cargo shorts. But the way in which it is written allows me to wear gym shorts. So I do.
Not my current job but I used to work for some crazy people.
- you had to stand in a specific area while eating so they could see you on the camera
- don't talk to customers longer than 3 minutes unless you're making a big sale, even then, keep it short
- answer the phone within 2 rings, keep the conversation to less than 30 seconds
- you can't talk to your co workers outside of work
- you can't talk to your co workers while at work, even if there was not a single customer in the store
I'm sure there's more I just can't think of right now.
We got a new vacation policy where you could take UNLIMITED time off. All the while he assured us that if we wanted vacation, to take it. Really! A little bit afterward, he changed it to "discretionary" time off meaning that if your boss approved it, it was ok. Then it changed to "160 hours should be the max and if you go over 200 hours then you probably don't need to work here."
Former job. You couldn't eat at your desk. The team managers however were pretty tolerant, on a hot day they would sometimes even hand out popsicles. The regulation people (who were especially in charge on the weekends, when no teammanagers were around) were very strict with this. A colleague of mine was shouted at because she ate a small pretzel, which was her breakfast.
Then again, some colleagues would casually eat a whole pizza or kebab while making a huge mess.
Previous job: given a tablet and a locker, had to look for a desk to sit on every morning. Stupid, caused unnecessary friction, waste of time, inefficient, and many occupied the same desk everyday anyway, they piled junks on their desk so no one else dared to sit.
Once my manager had mental breakdown, he hid in another floor away from us. It was ridiculous having to walk that far to get to him multiple times a day.
For a while, we were going through a lot of bandaids and my manager was tired of buying them. So, she locked the last remaining bandaid in the safe (we had to have one; required by health inspector) and no one was allowed to use them if they cut themselves. I worked at a fast food joint where people could knick themselves on knives, tomato slicers, sharp edges, etc. If you cut yourself, you just dealt with it/openly bled. The rule changed pretty fast though when she cut herself while using a box cutter and we had no bandages in the store.
Old work place had assigned desk location for various things like phone and stapler. You were also only allowed 2 personal items on your desk. I was written up bc I brought my own red stapler and it didnt fit in between the lines put on the desk.
I wrote the ridiculous coffee-making rules for my workplace. But I had my reasons. I was a woman on the edge. The coffee was unbearable and every time it was bad I would have a parade of people through my office complaining and a deluge of emails wasting my time. So I wrote a guide, rules, if you will, on how to use the extremely simple drip coffee maker in our break room.
I emailed them to everyone, I put two copies in the break room - one of them in the cupboard where the ground coffee was kept. I went through it with people who didn't understand. Minutes of everyone's time was wasted. No improvement, endless complaints to me, more of my time wasted.
By this point I was fed up of even hearing the word coffee, the sound of the coffee maker caused me to flinch. So I ordered pre-packaged coffee grounds to take the measurement difficulty out of the equation. How can you get thatwrong? I thought, naively.
On the first day of what I was sure would be the new world, a coffee nirvana, I went to the coffee machine with high expectations. The senior partner had beaten me to it, she had put four sachets of coffee into the machine and added enough water to make six cups of coffee. The first mouthful nearly killed us. I went over it again with her and returned to my office, confident that this was a one-time problem.
After lunch I went back to try and get a cup of coffee. My expectations were not so high. I witnessed another senior partner carefully opening the sachet of grounds and reach for a teaspoon. She carefully spooned out a quarter of the sachet into the machine, filled the machine with enough water for 12 cups and triumphantly threw the rest of the sachet away. I waited, we tasted it together, she was appalled. She had no idea why it was so weak. I started a new pot, slowly filling with despair as it brewed. I couldn't shake one thought: I work for a doctors surgery. These people prescribe.
I went back to my office. I ordered a giant container of respectable instant coffee and a padlock. I keep the ground coffee locked in my desk. I brew four pots a day (this takes less time than the complaints!) and on my day off they make do with instant. We have a kettle, people are welcome to bring their own filter coffee and do with it what they will. Until someone can be trusted to make a pot of coffee which is not so awful as to inspire eight people to email me multiple times a day, each one of them hitting reply-all to create a small email firestorm in my inbox, this is the way things have to be.
No scotch tape. On anything. I was a teacher, and the principal wouldn't allow it in the building, threatening letters in your file for insubordination if she saw it on your desk. Only painter's tape, which by design, is meant to not stick very well. I hung posters in my room with circles of duct tape on the back side, with strips of painters tape on the front side just for show. Subtle, petty insubordination.
You weren't allowed to yawn if you were with a customer. Our shifts started pretty early in the morning and you can't really stop a yawn unless you do this weird teeth gritting, nose breathing thing I perfected. Because God forbid we take 3 seconds to yawn and continue helping the customer, "We must be alert and clearly awake at all times."
I work at a small cheap childcare center. The boss/owner's (who is a complete whacko) office is next to the preschool room, which consisted of 3-5 year olds. The kids are not allowed to be within arms length from the wall because they are too loud.... this is a childcare center.... I've never been in a childcare center that's not loud.
Oh. And also, her air control is linked with the infant and toddler room, so in the summer time, when it's hot as f---, we would turn on the air for the rooms because it's obviously hot as sh*t in the rooms. Plus, we're constantly moving! But because SHE gets cold in her small office we have to turn it off. To make matters worse, our changing room is in the middle of both room, so when the air is off, and our trash is filled with poopy diapers it stinks up both rooms, and with the wet diapers it makes the rooms so musty and humid. Its f*cking disgusting. The owner complains about the smell and YET refuse to turn in the air BECAUSE SHE'S COLD. Apparently she doesn't know what a jacket or coat is, even though we are in MN.
We get evaluations. Either annual, when departing the work place for an extended period of time, when receiving a different manager, when promoted, and a few other reasons.
The stupid thing is, unless you've royally f---ed up, these evaluations are usually just pieces of paper that has some generic copy and paste of why said individual did such a good job doing a certain thing at a certain time. However, if you actually did excel beyond what is expected, did jobs outside of your realm and succeeded, ensured others succeeded, etc this will be annotated but may not reflect the way you think it would/should. Yeah, it'll still be positive, but it won't put you too far ahead of your peers in most cases. Why?
Because your manager (the one writing the evaluation) has to maintain a certain tempo, grading, scaling, or whatever you want to call it based on the evaluation matrix. If he grades you too high, then he establishes a high baseline which he'll have to maintain even for sh*t evaluees. If he grades too low, then excellent workers will get sh*t scores. Because if his matrix is all over the place it reflects poorly on him as a manager. So, everyone is generally evaluated the same, no matter what (this does fluctuate in certain cases).
So, essentially, your promotion is based off of time and not effort.
I worked in an office where we couldn't drink coffee from an open cup/mug.
One of my coworkers, let's call her "Rebecca," claimed to have an allergy to coffee. If she smelled coffee or saw someone holding a mug with dark liquid in it (even black tea--yes, someone did this to test her) she would start coughing and run out of the office and take a break from the smell. When she came back to the office she'd proceed to loudly blow her nose and cough for a ridiculous amount of time to show her displeasure with the coffee. She eventually went as far as reporting a coworker to HR for having the audacity to drink coffee from a mug at his desk. The coworker called her bluff and asked for a doctor's note to prove she indeed had an allergy. What do you know? They never got one.
Manager ended up buying some tumblers off of amazon and giving them to employees to use since she wouldn't have this "allergic reaction" if tumblers were used. It became part of on-boarding.
PS - We all brought in Keurig pods to share so we could have a variety to use at the Keurig machine in the breakroom. I stayed late one night and caught her grabbing a handful of the pods on her way out and trashing them.
Also, she once got super cranky when someone forgot about her aversion to coffee and asked her if she knew where the nearest Starbucks was. You couldn't even mention coffee around her without her getting upset. What a weirdo.
After much deliberation I decide to go back to work after 2 years of maternity leave (my bro died tragically, too). Legislation means your job is safe in local government for two years. Half pay for 6 months, government $ for 5). Anyway, I'm a permanent salaried full-time Museum Director for Local Government. My manager says i can come back starting at 9am instead of 8.30 but not leaving at 5.30. I need to take half an hour annual leave a day if I want to start at 9. (something the HR manager had suggested, by the way). I go, yeah, woteves, then a couple of weeks in realise, this is TOTAL sh*t and totally against their policy. Bring it up with HR - well, you need to take it up with your manager. I'm livid! I have a postgraduate degree, have been doing the job for ten years not including leave, and wha? Not trusted to work alone for 30mins at the end of the day? WTF?
Needless to say, my main concerns about returning to work were to do with this idiot powermonger. then, blessed relief, she's taking time off on LSL, her replacement asks me if I'm able to get to work on time... I'll do my best. WTF. what is the getting to work on time sh*t? who cares unless you don't make it up at the end of the day, and even more so, who cares unless the job f*cking gets done? MADNESS.
A little late to the party, but here goes...
I used to work in a call center for a large financial services company. They were super strict about being off the phone. Basically, if you have to use the bathroom, you better hope that it hits during one of your two 15 minute breaks or 30 minute lunch. Outside of those times, you got 8 minutes a day to be out of the phone queue (including if you had a complex customer issue). Anything over the allotted time gave them grounds to fire you for "call avoidance".
I made it work until I ended up having medical issues. And as part of my medical treatment, I had to take a medication that had diarrhea as a side effect. You can probably tell that this went over well with my employer. Ultimately, I was told that I had to have a letter from my doctor certifying that I would need extra bathroom time. So I call my doctor and (even though they thought it was weird) they faxed me a letter.
Somehow the company decided that this was an issue that required the disability accommodation department of HR's involvement. At this point I think things are getting ridiculous, but for the sake of employment, whatever. Then I get an email from HR. The email advised me that me needing extra bathroom time would require me to use intermittent FMLA. I had to have my doctor fill out FMLA paperwork. Because I needed to be able to leave my desk to take an unscheduled shit. I get the doctor to fill it out (at this point they have decided that everyone in HR has lost their minds). I send it into HR, and I figure it's all good.
Nope. Not even close. After receiving the FMLA paperwork I get ANOTHER followup email with a spreadsheet attached. And I was instructed that I would have to TRACK how much time I spent in the bathroom each day and submit the spreadsheet to HR at the end of each month so it could be deducted from my FMLA time. Eventually I said enough is enough and resigned.
Last place i worked... You had to complete 40 hours of job related training in order to get a passing mark for that section on your yearly job review (which impacted how much of a raise you got) but because it wasn't "mandatory" and could be completed outside of office hours (I. E. If you took a class that related to the job, read a book, go to a conference, etc and that would count) they wouldn't give always give you time on the clock to complete this. Yet.... We were not supposed to do any work or access company resources (including the website that most of us used for training) when not on the clock.....
We had a mandatory training for a new ticketing system (technical support call center) that was developed by... People (this is a whole different story/complaint/general f--- up) and they scheduled us 4 hours of training time to complete this... Before it was even fully finished... They ended up with the lessons taking more than 10 hours of time to complete (per their system... Not actual real time, I might have to retake a test or read slower, etc issues)....
Several modules/lessons were added after about 50% or more of the room had already completed this training and we are getting emails from our time management lady and the woman that was in charge of the launch of this new program basically bitching at everyone for either not having the training completed (which is hard to do when things are added after you think you have it completed) or for taking too long to complete it.
Several of the lessons were auto play videos that you could not skip or jump through as their were tests at the end... And if you failed the test 5 times in a row, you had to retake the entire lesson and not just the test. Many of the questions were select multiple answers from these options, so you couldn't even do elimination for multiple choice.
So many things the changed in the almost 3 years that I was there that lead to me basically saying f--- it and end up getting fired. Call center... So metrics... My average handle time (which includes after call work) is almost 5 minutes below what it had to be... But I was on final warning because my after call work was about 15-20 seconds over what it was supposed to be. I literally have an award for customer service...but was being written up because I didn't think I needed to keep a doctor or nurse on the phone just so I could make sure my ticket was finished.
I worked at a small advertising agency. We had few people but were second most profitable firm in our city, having the right combination of talents.
One day the owner's wife decided she didn't want to be a dentist anymore and started taking business classes. Not one entire semester passes and she somehow convinced boss that she should work with him (and bossing us).
First day she changes the ambient radio to gospel, louder enough to hinder concentration. Then at the end of our day 5h59 asks a single mother to do a sales report that would take at least one hour. Poor kid panics. She has to go take her son at school. She says so, promises to deliver the next day and come early. Boss says "do it or you don't have to come back tomorrow". Knowing that the girl couldn't abandon her kid at school. I wanted to jump on her and punch her face.
I used to read at my lunch break (and ate at a small mall near work). Monday comes and suddenly they're making people show the content of our bags. I happen to have a book on Greek Mythology with Pan in the cover. She says that I can't enter work with that book and that I should leave it at the gate (exposed, outside, in the rain and anyone could just rob it). I call boss and say that what she's doing is highly illegal and that I didn't want to sue them but things needed to get better. Things didn't get better, I quit. Some time later a friend tells me that the agency closed. She killed it in less than a year.
We had a health and safety inspection in our office. We had a large store cupboard with a shelf dedicated to making teas and coffees. There were 7 of us in the tea club and would take it in turns to make a brew. We were told we couldn't have a kettle in case we spilled boiling water in ourselves. We'd used a kettle for several years prior to this without incident. Instead we had to go to the drinks machine and navigate back through 3 sets if double doors carrying several hot drinks! Oh, and like many others, we weren't allowed to walk whilst talking on our mobiles. Not even in the offices. And we got told off if we didn't hold on to the hand rail whilst going up and down stairs.
I work in lingerie design. The computer room that I work in isn't allowed a radio and the computers aren't allowed speakers. All other rooms are allowed speakers and radios except the room I work in...
I worked doing fundraising for an environmental group one summer in college. I forget the exact numbers, but if you met a certain $ quota each week, you got a set percentage of the money you raised. If you missed that quota by even $1, you just got minimum wage for that week. I usually didn't have a problem meeting quota, but once I had a bad week, and on Friday afternoon realized I was going to end up just under $20 short. I did some quick math, and realized that if I raised just $20 more, I would be paid a couple hundred more, so I just hit up an ATM, took out $20, and added that to my last donation. So, not exactly a terrible rule like some of these other examples, more of just a dumb loophole in their pay policy.
Everyone has to have a different name. If you're a new hire and someone is already using your name, even if it isn't their real name, you have to choose a new "work name". The boss's name is Allen, so when an employee named Allen came on, he had to use his middle name, Darrell. Then we hired another guy whose first name was Darrell, so he decided to go by his last name, Morgan. So the real Darrell had to use a different name even though that wasn't anyone else's actual name, because it was someone else's "work" name. No switching allowed. Now I'm just waiting for someone whose first name is "Morgan" to join up, and see where this goes next. (names have been changed to protect the innocent)
Once I was told to not leave the desk then got in trouble for not leaving the desk to run an errand for a customer.
We were told to forward calls about memorials to a certain department. The resident never informed us about the memorial, so when someone called to ask about the memorial I forwarded them to that department. I then got in trouble for forwarding to the department.
I got written up for telling a resident that packages had not been sorted yet because we had had fire alarms going off all day.
I literally got in trouble for doing what I was told and and then for answering a question. That was the last straw so I quit.
I work in sales.
Most insane rule is where I currently work.
We aren't allowed to give out price lists to customers.
The pricing recently changed and customers who are used to getting price lists (that's the way it has been done forever, 50+ years) are told they can't have a price list and please look it up in their computer system.
But every customer uses a different program and 75% have the wrong pricing.
Management's rationale is that they don't want the numbers in the hands of the competition. And they didn't trust anyone to not give out the lists so NO SALES REPS GOT PRICES LISTS EITHER.
I was getting phone calls asking how much something cost and I couldn't tell them because I didn't have a list. I ended up having to go through a 3rd party and sneak a copy.
After 4 months of this management acquiesced and grudgingly gave employees a list. Mostly because there were hundreds of calls coming in asking for prices and NOONE IN THE COMPANY COULD ANSWER.
Giving that price list is regarded as grounds for termination. And I have checked and the other reps are obeying the rule despite it all but eliminating their ability to sell.
I gave my notice last month - they insisted on 30 days just to be petty - and I am out of there in a week!
Not an "official" rule but one we still get in trouble for if we break it:
We can only use the restroom the first 15 or last 15 minutes of planning.
If you have to go during class, good luck getting someone to cover for you.
I worked for a supermarket in Ireland in which we personally had to provide pens for the customers to use to sign their receipts or whatever at the tills. The company wouldn't even order pens which we could then buy from them at cost. We had to go, on our own time, to buy pens for customers to use.
I worked there for six years and not once did I spent a single cent on a pen.
My company doesn't allow fraternizing of any kind between the different levels of employee (assistant manager to staff members, higher management to assistant management). It's to eliminate favoritism. Yet every other company in the world champions on community.
If you yourself come as a bagger in a completely different AD, we can't have a MBA and I've been trying not to all the marketing that goes wrong is so bad one time I was told I wasn't supposed to get them to confirm that there will be arrested.
Not a rule, per se, but you get in more trouble for calling in at the time your shift starts to let them know you'll be late than you do if you just arrive late with no warning.
When I was first recruited for the company, I was told that the dress code was relatively casual - as long as what you wear covers you sufficiently and isn't ripped/old and tired you were good.
Quickly I discovered that actually, teams kinda have their own individual dress codes. If you're not dressed to the correct standards for your team you won't make 'progress' in the company. I'm not sure who actually sets these standards - I'm assuming team leaders. This produces an odd situation where I, a programming gremlin who barely leaves her desk all day - I don't even have internal meetings more than once or twice a month - have to be dressed to the nines, while others who actually see clients, partners, suppliers, et cetera, will get away with jeans and a polo shirt.
You can not join the conversation if the people who are having the conversation are higher ranked than you. So everytime someone speaks, those who are lower ranked must shut up immediately.
I work in a restaurant where we have three ice machines. Now, in most restaurant the ice goes from the machine, into a bucket, into the soda tower or bar ice wells. But in my restaurant we have to put ice into bags, put those bags in the freezer over night, break up the ice in the morning, and then lug however many bags it takes to six different locations in the restaurant. Why, you ask? Apparently the double frozen ice makes your drink SIX DEGREES COOLER AND THAT IS SUPER IMPORTANT I GUESS.
I work at a car dealership where the morning meeting starts at 8:30 but if you are not there by 8:25 you will get sent home for the day. Also the management team (the ones in charge of the meeting) are almost exclusively 5 minutes late to the meeting.
I work at a medium sized company in a normal office environment. I have been here for a while and am good friends with several male coworkers, one in particular who shares a similar schedule with me so we often take breaks together.
People started noticing that we would leave and return together, and started to gossip (never mind that both of us are in committed relationships and our friendship is strictly platonic). My supervisor started watching on the cameras when I would leave, and one day when I returned she pulled me into a private office where she told me that male and female co workers would no longer be allowed to ride the elevator together if there was no one else in there with them... however, she meant that I was not allowed to ride in the elevator with said co worker.
That lasted all of about a minute, after multiple people were late due to having to time elevator rides so that they were on the elevator alone with a member of the opposite sex.
Business casual dress code even when i work at home. (They skype me to check). Reddit
Once worked at a place where some miniboss decided that since UPS trucks don't turn left, we shouldn't either.
I don't know or care how well that worked out for UPS, but this was a damned ambulance company with a 911 contract. I will turn left if and when I need to turn left. Monkeytuesday
Old job of mine in a warehouse. Our stations were pretty far apart, so when we'd listen to music we'd all usually have our own stuff playing. Not a problem since you could barely hear the neighbors music. Well, the CEO didn't like hearing multiple songs when walking through the warehouse. He made a rule that we all either had to listen to the same music, or none at all. Historiun
I once needed a pen. Figured this was a reasonable ask. Went to the supply closet on my floor, which was locked. Asked the floor's admin, she told me to go to the main supply room in the basement. Went to the basement and explained my situation of needing a pen. They told me all requests for supplies must be approved by my department head. Problem is, being new, I'd never met my department head. She also worked in San Francisco (I worked in Milwaukee), so I needed to send an email both introducing myself, and asking her if I had permission to get a pen from the supply closet. NicolasCage4eva
If you had to take a leave on Monday or Friday so that you have an extended weekend of 3 days instead of 2, it was counted as 3 days leave (counting in Saturday and Sunday). Deal with that! drvinaymuc
If you are 1 min late it is a tardy. If you take a half day nothing goes on your record. I was told to just take a half day if you are going to be late because they straight up fire you for tardies. Also if you clock out early it is a tardy. If you have to go to the doctor on lunch break and it is going to take and hour and ten min, take the rest of the day off. Weird. Whosyabobby
Fireman... our Risk Management department decided long ago that poles were too risky for us. So we use the stairs. We have poles. Anyway, now the newest rule is no free weights....as in NO free weights to work out, stay fit. Go into burning high rise- absolutely, walk around the station carrying 40lb dumbbells... too risky. Haligan74
We aren't allowed to wear jackets unless they are purchased from the resort gift shop with the hotel name logo on it. They are $50+ and we don't get reimbursed, but it's the price you pay to stay warm in the cold months. PhantomTaco84
McDonald's did this to us when I worked there. They paid half, but they were still like 50-60 bucks for a crappy fleece. I just wore my regular jacket and nobody said a thing. Slizzard_73
Former job: There was trouble when I (officially) moved desks and my new desk had a phone with call display. Apparently call display phones were allowed for people at a certain pay level. Your pay level also governed the height of your cubicle walls. My manager's solution was to promote me.
Another former job: We were mandated to work on a engineering related research project outside of work hours, because a responsible engineer always gives back to the engineering community. I could live with that. However, your project had to be related to the company's business. khendron
We have to do all of our paperwork at least three times. There is a copy of it in our personal folders, a copy online, and a copy in our store folders. Not only does it waste time and paper, but forgetting to do one has gotten people fired. They did the other two identical pieces of paperwork confirming that yes, they did take out the trash and yes, they did check the store voicemail, but how dare they forget to do the third piece of identical paperwork. Our weekly visits from corporate revolve around whether or not we've all done this paperwork. It's so redundant. quartpint
My workplace doesn't let you use the word "problems." Instead, we have to say "challenges" if something is wrong. As a problem is a negative word, and challenges promotes the fact that there is room to fix said problem. throwaWaY2113232444
Former job at a law office: One of the partners sent an email to the entire staff that employees were not allowed to gossip in the building. What was everyone gossiping about, you ask? Oh, said partner was divorcing his wife and sleeping with one of the associate attorneys in the firm. But, you know, don't gossip. kat_rob
All the extra toilet paper in the building has to stay in a single closet where it can be overseen by the toilet paper queen. I heard her shrieking the other day when she discovered someone had "hoarded" one spare roll of toilet paper upstairs so the people who work upstairs wouldn't have to walk down multiple flights of stairs when the toilet paper ran out. rhino43grr
I used to work for the now long defunct books, movies, and music store Media Play. Just one of the 285 reasons that poorly run business ran into the ground was the tardy/attendance policy.
If you were literally :01 seconds late clocking in, even hours before the store opened, it was a really, really big deal. You'd not only be formally written up, but lectured like a child often times berated even. If you were tardy three times, bye-bye. HOWEVER, if you no-showed and then called 2 hours later saying you were sick?—okay, thank you, feel better.
This trained everyone to just take a sick day instead of being half a second late to work. I can't tell you how many times you'd see a coworker screeching into the parking lot before work after fighting traffic from a wreck or whatever, noticing it was 8:01, and then slowly driving off to go home and feign being sick. This was particularly upsetting when it was a pulldown stock week when we needed every hand on deck but had unusually early shifts. SSmtb
Many years ago I was a vacuum cleaner salesman. There were songs about this particular brand of vacuum cleaner and how awesome it was. Every morning, we had to sing these songs as a group. In fairness, it was a pretty quality item.
It was Kirby. Didn't mean to be subversive, just didn't think anybody would care. Im_A_Boozehound
When I was in the military I saw a buddy of mine sitting outside crying. I went and consoled him best as I could- apparently he was just depressed and unhappy. After he was feeling a bit better I went to go and find someone to tell them what was happening. They knew. In fact, he had been crying so much lately that they had instituted a 'no crying at your desk' policy - which is why he was outside. TypewriterKey
If we want to take a full 5 day week off we need to use 2 vacation days, 1 personal, and 2 more vacation days. Can never use 3 vacation days straight!?!? icecreampopncereal
Our sick time is essentially useless. wetonred24
I drive valet. The company handbook says you're never allowed to back up. Ever. You absolutely cannot do the job without reverse. It's impossible.
It's in there because of liability and our insurance policy. This way it can always be the valets fault if an accident occurs ever.
Edit: Perhaps this will answer the most repeated question... If the rule says no reverse, yet you're expected to park a car, then how can you park the car?
Answer: Never hit anything, and always reverse despite the rules. Expect to be fired should you hit anything in reverse, but probably not. The rule only exists to cover the company's butt, but if they don't feel threatened by you working there and you're an asset, you still will not be fired. And yes, many people are questioning the legality of it and you're right. It wouldn't hold up in courts, but it's in the handbook and it's silly. So I posted it. ImJustSo
It's not like this any more, but for a while they attempted to have a dress code. Guys had to wear collared shirts, but "Hawaiian" style shirts were totally acceptable. You could not wear jean shorts, but jean overall shorts were ok.
I got sent home one day because my shorts weren't finger-tip length. We were tech support... no one EVER saw us, that was the best part. FuffyKitty
No accusing other staff members of being witches. (Yeah, it happened so we had to make a rule. I run a hostel in Uganda.) Reddit
Which is exactly the kind of rule a witch would create. Blovnt
Comedy is in a very tricky place right now.
There is so much to NOT laugh about in this world.
In truth, many of us have forgotten how to laugh.
And certain jokes that are told, make people afraid to laugh.
So what do we do?
We tell inappropriate jokes apparently.
Let's hear some...
Redditor CrewCreation wanted to hear some "risky" comedy. So they asked:
"What’s the best morbid joke you know?"
***WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS SENSITIVE MATERIAL. PROCEED WITH CAUTION!***
I can't think of anything hilarious at the moment. Make us LOL.
LadyShocked Oh No GIF by Yêu LuGiphy
"I have this friend, love him to bits, but his wife has a tendency of just constantly showing everyone pictures of their son at every social event. At the start it was understandable, but now I'm just like 'Lady, it's been two years; they're not going to find him.'"
"Not the most morbid but I love Anthony Jeselnik’s story about his neighbor who has Alzheimer’s. 'One of my next door neighbors is a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s. And every single morning at 9am he knocks on my door and asks me if I have seen his wife.'"
"'Which means that every single morning at 9am I have to explain to a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s that his wife has been dead for quite some time. Now I’ve thought about moving. I have thought about just not answering my door in the morning. But to be honest, it’s worth it… just to see the smile on his face.”
"Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is."
"Why can't orphans play tennis? They get confused when they hear love."
People who make comedy are evil. LOL.
The DarknessThat 70S Show Reaction GIF by LaffGiphy
"Dark humor is like food; not everyone gets it."
"A Holocaust survivor dies and goes to heaven, where she meets God. To break the tension she tells God a joke about the Holocaust, but God doesn’t laugh. The lady shrugs and says 'I guess you had to be there.'"
“'I guess you had to be there' is a common expression used when someone doesn’t laugh at a joke. It means that the comedy may not translate without the context of the situation."
"In this case the Holocaust survivor is saying it, meaning that during the Holocaust God was nowhere to be found. It’s not really a joke about the Holocaust, but the absurdity of belief in a benevolent God. Hilarious right?"
"How many dead babies does it take to fix a light bulb? More than 3 cause my garage is still dark."
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Because I don't know what it says about us as people if we laugh. Oye.
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Life can change in an instant.
It can always change for the better.
Just ask any lottery winner.
Sadly, life can also take a turn for the worst and leave people shattered beyond repair.
Watching someone's life fall apart in a short amount of time is difficult.
You have to wonder if there really is such a thing as karma, bad luck, or Voodoo.
Redditor OkImagination5852 wanted to hear about the times we've been witness to personal disaster. They asked:
"People who witness a person's life crumble in a single day, what happened?"
I have lived through a lot of bad days. But thankfully they've been one disaster at a time days. So I guess I'm lucky.
"A friend of a friend had his entire family killed overnight. He was from my college and was home visiting his family. His parents, siblings, and extended family were all there together. One night, while they were all asleep, his father got up, took out a gun, and went on a shooting spree. He then killed himself."
"Everyone except this guy died on the spot. When my friend visited him at the hospital, the guy was still in shock. He had no idea why his father did that. This was more than a decade ago, and I have no idea how he's doing now."
The IRS Called
"Knew a guy who had a nice house, wife, 3 kids. Machine shop in his garage, Snap On tool truck, sign out front, great mechanic. Never incorporated, didn't pay taxes on his business, cash only. Took nice vacations, bought a boat, then a camper. Five years later, the IRS came. I don't know what they estimated he owed but they seized everything. He lives alone in a trailer now."
2 at Once
"My mom’s dad and dad’s mom both died on the same day. Completely unrelated. We were pretty messed up for awhile. It was 2010. Mom's dad had emphysema (lifetime smoker) and was pretty sick for a few weeks. I was in college at the time and came home to be with him, because we knew he was about to pass. Dad's mom was in the nursing home, as she had had a stroke and also had dementia (she often thought I was my dad, she thought we were in the 70s, etc.)."
"She took a turn for the worst, and so my dad left the hospice my grandpa was at and went to be with her. The towns they were in were about an hour apart, so I stayed behind with my mom to comfort her when her dad passed. A few hours go by, and he passes peacefully (huge thanks to the hospice workers for their respect and grace during this time)."
"Within an hour or so of his passing, we get a call from my dad saying that his mother had passed as well. It was a terribly dark day in our family, and the next couple years for me in college were pretty much a blur. Thankfully, things got better in time and we are all doing well now."
She lost everything...
"Her husband left her after previously persuading her to remortgage their house to save his business and he's already made her take multiple credit cards out in her name. She lost everything. He did it the week after their youngest turned 18 so he wouldn't have to pay child support. He'd obviously been planning for years."
a black sheep...
"My cousin was in a motorcycle accident with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend died. She broke her back. When she was in the hospital she learned she was pregnant. It's been 16 years and we're still trying our best, she took an all too familiar path of drugs, burning bridges and more pregnancies."
"At this point she's fairly stable and clean as far as I know but a bit of a black sheep. Her mother has custody of all one of her kids. She has her youngest and seems to be doing good by her, but who knows. It's been hard on everyone, especially her mother and her brother."
Well this is the stuff of nightmares. I'm grateful for every moment I have alive.
Several lawsuits are filed...
"Here is multiple lives ruined in an instant. A friend was over at some other people house, drugs were involved. They had been playing with a gun. My friend points the gun at a girl, pulls the trigger and shoots her in the head. Girl dies, friend gets locked up until he turns 18. Parents at the house get arrested because they knew what the kids were doing. Friends mom goes into a depression and ends up getting evicted from her house. Several lawsuits are filed."
"It was me... got in a car accident and suffered a traumatic spinal and brain injury that I had no chance of surviving... a 7 vertebrae spinal fusion, yrs of physical and mental therapy... 18 yrs later and the pieces, though many forever gone, are finally coming back together."
A Bad Night
"He trashed his fathers vacation house with an axe before setting it on fire, stabbed the neighbor nearly to death, stole their car and then crashed it into a cop car so bad the cops were injured. He also got his girl pregnant, so once he is out of prison they're gonna start a family."
"Pregnant friend found out husband (43) was having an affair with young woman (19) who was a volunteer at their ecolodge. Friend had 'dangerous' pregnancy and had to spend a lot of time in bed. This betrayal destroyed their marriage, split the little town where they lived and caused two employees to quit because witnessing the affair going on was just too painful."
"She had a beautiful baby girl (to go with her other two girls, lol) and after the breakup was clinically depressed. Worked hard and got a divorce (she had a great lawyer); got the business back on track; beat her depression and now is planning a great vacation trip with her girls."
"Meantime, Dad has generous visitation but just 'hasn't gotten around to' buying a car seat so he can pick up the baby and for a long time asked my friend, 'Can you drop the girls off at my Mom's?'"
Lost it All...
"Recently, I know of a guy that had borrowed all his family’s life savings for the most part to participate in the whole game stop stock thing happening… he lost every penny of his money (credit card advances), and his parents retirement, and every other dime he could get… it makes me sick to even think of it."
Well those are A LOT of bad days. Good luck to all of you.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
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Those who are wealthy have the luxury of acquiring the best of the best–whether it's dinner at a Michelin-starred restaurant or status-identifying clothing from Chanel or Yves Saint Laurent.
But even the rich have their limits when it comes to frivolous spending before casting judgment on friends or colleagues.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor Sasquatchfl asked:
"Rich people of Reddit, what's the craziest/most unethical thing you've seen people in your circle spend money on?"
Expensive experiences were a priority over prized possessions.
"An ex worked for Dell in the late 90s/early 2000s. He was pretty high up and there were lots of partiers in his work circle. Went to a party hosted by one of the dellionaires and there was a body sushi girl. I don’t know what was paid to her, but it was one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen."
"Paid a group of homeless guys to only use the bathroom on a competitors business. Eventually bought that place for a massive discount."
Let's Work Out
"My mother woke up one morning and said she felt she was way too fat and she wanted to get a treadmill. The treadmill wouldn’t be a problem, but then she saw where it would be and didn’t like the lighting. Fast forward 2 months later there’s a 40k outdoor gym built and connected to the house. She hasn’t used it once."
Taking A Leap
"Travelled with a bunch of ex 'friends' all fairly wealthy."
"First trip to SE Asia together and as an ex-local I was a de-facto tour guide (despite not being there in over a decade)"
"They somehow found and offered a bunch of kids diving off cliffs to jump for spare change."
"They increasingly challenged each other to land their coins as close to the cliff base and small surrounding rocks for the kids to dive for."
It's about the finer things in life.
Expensive Party Gag
"A 3k ouija board from Gwen Paltrow's store. I didn't even know it was a thing until the dude brought it out. I really wanted to cut it up and see what it was made from. Looked nice don't get me wrong but the thing is basically a party gag. For 3 grand, it better summon a demon that's all I'm saying."
"$600 USD for a candle."
It's not always about the things you acquire.
"I know a guy who went to get a new drivers license and had to pay ~$100k in back parking tickets, then joked about it after."
"Apparently he couldn't get a permit to park in front of his house, so he just did anyway, and accepted like a $200 fine everyday."
For A Successful Election
"Not me, but I know a guy who crowd funded (read: threw a bunch of money into, then solicited more at a flea market) $80,000 toward his friend's DA election campaign. The guy won. So far, this has paid back at least $120K in avoided legal fees. I know some rich people. Most of them are more boring than you think. Hell, most of them drive Hondas, Toyotas, and Nissans."
The Lance Corporal
"I was stationed with a Lance Corporal who was wealthy beyond means after selling some of his patents. He owned and piloted four helicopters. Lived in a palatial waterfront house in Jacksonville, NC."
"The cheapest one cost 400K. That's the one he trained on. The most expensive was about 1.2 million. That's 1.2 million 1981 dollars. The two he's got now are about 5 million each."
"Had a floating landing pad out back moored to his dock and another landing pad in the back yard. Kept two helicopters and a Rolls inside his custom-built hangar at Norfolk International Airport."
"He drove a pair of Rolls-Royces. He also toyed with a 900K Miami-Vice type speedboat. He also housed and transported his squad to Camp Lejeune and back in a custom mini-bus."
The dude was very giving and lived a very clean life. He'd fly us to Norfolk, pickup the car and we'd do our shopping and eating. Hop in a chopper and return home. He'd fly his fire team down to Miami on weekends. He kept a Limo there and wore a chauffer's outfit and did all the driving.
He bought a full-service and licensed pub in Northern Ireland. He lives there with his wife. Does a lot of charity work there. We still keep in touch."
When there's plenty of money going around, there's no need to worry about a single thing.
That peace of mind is a luxury in itself.
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When marriages or relationships fall apart, infidelity is not always the cause.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Liam_Tang asked:
"People who've divorced, aside from adultery, what were the irreconcilable differences that ended the marriage?"
You think you know a person when you walk down the aisle.
These Redditors were in for a rude awakening.
"My wife divorced her ex for many reasons, but the final straw was when she went out of town for a few days, and when she got back he had not fed or given water to the dog. The dog lived a long and happy life after that."
Obsessed With A Crush
"Not me, but I had an old coworker that divorced his wife for spending their entire savings on candy crush and games of the same type."
"ITT: Intimacy (sex/romance), beliefs (religion/spirituality/politics), kids, and I haven’t seen it yet but it’s coming: finances."
"The big four. You REALLY need to discuss these things in detail BEFORE getting married."
Physical violence is a legit reason for people to peace out of a relationship.
"She threatened to hit me with a hammer."
Hitting The Bottle
"She became an abusive alcoholic. It was sad but I had to get out."
Emotional pain is too damaging to recover from.
"She told me as we stood in front of the judge ending our 7 year marriage, 'I never loved you, I just wanted kids.'"
Can't Fix Angry
"She was beautiful/smart but an angry angry person. I thought I could be sweet to her and 'fix' that. Heh. She kicked the crap out of me emotionally. Wife II has been a walk in the roses for 32 years now :)"
A change of heart is worthless if comes too late.
"We Could've Had A Nice Marriage
"He could not understand that my wants and needs were as important as his wants and needs. We tried to make it work for 7 years. During that time, for things that were really important to me, I tried explaining logically, asking nicely, begging, crying, yelling, passive aggressiveness... cycled back through all of these options multiple times."
"(If I knew something was important to him, I would do that. For example, he was really into sports, so I went to all his events, even though that is not at all my thing.) When I finally threw up my hands and told him it was time to get a divorce, he suddenly panicked and said 'What can I do? Do you want me to do half the chores? I'll do it! Do you want me to get a job? I'll do it! Do you want me to buy you presents for your birthday? I'll do it!'"
"So, in other words, he could have been doing that all along, but just couldn't be bothered. That made me so angry. We could have had a nice marriage that we both enjoyed, but no, by the time he saw the light, that ship had sailed."
"We are both happily remarried now (to different people) and I joke that his new wife owes me a thank you note. It was his experience with me that taught him to listen to her and take her needs seriously."
"What Can I Do?"
"My ex was exactly like this. I didn't marry him but when I told him let's break up, he went all like, what can I do? Let's get engaged, let's look at houses, etc. Basically all the pre-marriage topics that we should be discussing about after being together for 7 years."
"I got so angry and straight up told him it's too late... I don't need you anymore."
As much as a couple wants to stay together, unforeseen circumstances can eventually tear people apart.
Very few people can maintain healthy long-distance relationships.
When a new job opportunity takes a significant other away, would you begrudge them for wanting a better position to earn more money? Or is it better for them to reluctantly turn down the opportunity so they could stay with you? Do either scenarios breed resentment?
These were questions I've often asked myself with past relationships, and my answers varied depending on the person I was with.
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