Uber Drivers Admit The Weirdest Passengers They’ve Ever Had To Deal With
Uber Drivers Admit The Weirdest Passengers They’ve Ever Had To Deal With[rebelmouse-image 18361750 is_animated_gif=
Bless the Uber and Lyft drivers of the world. Many don't know what they're signing up for when they go and pick up a bachelorette party at 3am just as the club gets out. Like bartenders before them, they are the new psychiatrists of the world, and they're ready to dish on their crazy fares. Reddit user, r/neccoguy21, posed the following question and got some fascinating stories in return:
Uber and Lyft drivers, what's your most NSFW story?
1. What Did Bambi Ever Do To You?[rebelmouse-image 18361751 is_animated_gif=
I had a passenger roll down the window and scream "SUCK MY F_*_ING DICK" at a deer. She said she really didn't like deer. Theweiserwill
2. At Least They're Being Honest?[rebelmouse-image 18361752 is_animated_gif=
I don't drive for either of those companies but I had a pretty bizarre fare once. I picked up a guy and a girl midday Saturday for a short ride (couple of km). The girl seemed out of or her mind and was wearing somewhat revealing clothing, so it was pretty clear they'd been partying the night before. While driving I picked up their conversation which they were not even attempting to hide. It was pretty clear that the guy had a girlfriend who was not the girl in the car and that he had just hooked up with this girl. They were currently heading to his girlfriend to explain what had happened. To be clear, he is bringing the girl he was unfaithful with along to explain to his girlfriend that he just f_*_ed her.
He tipped well though. Dawnyell
3. Frozen Horror[rebelmouse-image 18361753 is_animated_gif=
Some friends and I ubered back later night after a party. Being intoxicated AF, my friends sitting next to me started to heave, so I, work my quick thinking, opened the window pushed him to puke outside, in the freezing February air. He did his duty and we were all thankful that he decided to puke outside. Eventually, we arrive by my house and get out. I look on the outside of the car and the puke had FROZEN all along the outside of the car by the window. The side of the car was covered in puke. We spent an hour helping the poor Uber driver clean it, by throwing hot water fr inside the house and someone quickly scrubbing. slool4
5. He Is A Party Dude, After All[rebelmouse-image 18361754 is_animated_gif=
Well, there was the guy who proceeded to get butt naked in my backseat (while piss drunk) and change into a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costume...
It was Michaelangelo, for the record. BernieEffingSanders
6. All In The Family[rebelmouse-image 18350680 is_animated_gif=
Not an Uber/Lyft driver, but I did drive for a taxi company. I had a fare where two drunk people who were making out in the back of my cab. This isn't unusual on it's own, happens quite often, just gotta stop them before s* gets out of hand.
Well, one of them decides to stop making out and says to me" Don't tell anyone, okay?". Curious, I ask why, he responds "we are cousins and we don't want our family to find out"...then they went back to making out again. I didn't once think they could have possibly been cousins, never saw either people before or after. Could have just kept his mouth shut and I'd never have known, Why would you disclose that information to a stranger? Kootsiak
8. Way To Get It, Dad[rebelmouse-image 18346211 is_animated_gif=
So my dad is an uber driver and he says that girls my age (I'm in my early twenties) will drunkenly try to make him go home with them all the time. One time there were three girls who drunkenly were singing to Taylor swift and they made my dad record them singing the song and then they made him sing some of the lyrics. He showed me the clip of them singing and him singing later it was hysterical. Then they invited him to go to the next bar with them but he had to keep working. jennydancingaway
9. That Shouldn't Go There[rebelmouse-image 18354597 is_animated_gif=
I picked up a client who said he was on his way to the hospital to get "something" removed. It was very clear by his movements that he had something stuck in his a**. I asked if he needed an ambulance instead but he said he didn't have insurance so he couldn't afford it. After I dropped him off and helped him in. jhaddock
11. High School Graduates Suck. Who Knew?[rebelmouse-image 18359962 is_animated_gif=
Picked up a handful of drunk high school kids at 2 am, they just finished their graduation party and they were hammered. One of them threw up in the back, we had to stop on the side of the highway for him to get everything out of his system, he went behind the bush and did a number 2, but he didn't have any tissue... JayC-Hoster
12. At Least They're Prepared?[rebelmouse-image 18361755 is_animated_gif=
Picked up this very tall and somewhat muscular looking black girl carrying what looks like a tackle box. She was dressed somewhat.. risque. Gets in the car and I said hello, she responds with a pretty deep voice. We started the trip and she was telling me that she was on her way to do makeup for one of her friends, and her phone rang.
Hmmm. Alright then. Where's this going? "No, Derek is super sweet, it'll be fun I promise." "No girl, he's just gonna come through the doors..." "Yes I'll be there. I'll be outside the doors as one of the topless guards.
And that's the story of the person planning their porno during an Uber ride....
13. Classy...[rebelmouse-image 18348713 is_animated_gif=
Just a group of college freshman girls being super racist as I drove through the "ghetto" on the way to their house party.
14. Take The Shortcut[rebelmouse-image 18361756 is_animated_gif=
One time, I was in a Lyft during a blizzard. We arrive at a couple of lanes divided by one of those flat concrete medians. Both lanes are gridlocked. Lyft driver goes "Watch this!" and drives up the f*ing median while the cars on both sides honk furiously. I protest, and he brags that he is a "big man in the city" and the cops won't touch him. Anyway, it's not an erotic story, but I'd say it was definitely not safe for anyone involved. CeruleanTresses
15. Don't Jump To Conclusions[rebelmouse-image 18345966 is_animated_gif=
One driver told me that one time this guy got in his uber without putting in the destination. This guy was in his mid 40s, wearing an all black suit and wearing sunglasses. Didn't take them off. He also had a briefcase that he put on his lap.
Anyway so he sits in the car and points forwards. So the driver takes off. They didn't speak the entire journey. It was about 40 minutes. To tell the driver where to go the passenger just pointed left or right.
Anyway, the driver tells me that he was s_*_ting himself the entire time and genuinely thought he was going to die, but was too scared to stop.
So finally they pull over at this really big old house that he described as "the most mafia looking house I've ever f_*_ing seen".
The guy takes off his glasses, looks at the driver and says "th- th- th- thank y- you v- very m- m- much"
turned out he just had a really big stutter and nothing else. flintmichigantropics
16. At Least They Know[rebelmouse-image 18361757 is_animated_gif=
A couple of clients I once had entered the car convinced they were straight, and left 25 minutes later realising they were gay for each other. To be fair they were fairly drunk at the time. PM-ME-YOUR-HAMSTER
17. We All Remember Dave[rebelmouse-image 18361758 is_animated_gif=
Wasn't really NSFW but on my second day doing Uber one of the clients was on house arrest, Dave.
Dave was a cool guy.
He wanted me to buy him some wine and smokes from the gas station, He even trusted me with his card+pin. When I get back i decide to just have a smoke with him. That turns into us doing tai chi in his backyard at 2am. Really cool dude Dave was.
Hope he turned his life around. rasmfrasmspasm
18. Suddenly, The City Was Part Of The Party[rebelmouse-image 18361759 is_animated_gif=
Picked up a group of young ladies during a bachelorette party. The bride to be sits in the front and while driving to their destination, she rolls down the window and whips out a giant phallus for all of downtown to Chicago to see. monkeydlouis
19. Some Say They Never Returned[rebelmouse-image 18361760 is_animated_gif=
To make conversation I always ask my uber driver if they have any horror stories. One guy told me that he picked up this couple in all black clothes and he admitted he felt a little creeped out by them. It was the middle of the night and they had asked to be dropped off at a cemetery. He thinks perhaps they live across the road or something and tries/fails to make conversation with them. He drops them off, looks at his phone, then looks back and they are no where to be seen, disappeared. He stayed for a few minutes looking to see if they would pop up anywhere but they never did. Freaked him out big time. WhatPajamas
20. And The Winner Is...[rebelmouse-image 18361761 is_animated_gif=
I got the ping around 4:30am. When I get to the address, I see this girl who looks startlingly like the actress that plays Ginny Weasley standing in the middle of the street waving, so I stop. Yup, she's my passenger... and she is so drunk. And carrying an enormous glass full of red wine. She asked if she could bring the wine in the car, I told her no because we'd both be arrested, she said okay, then I'll chug it. And she did.
Okay... so she gets in my car and I drive her maybe six blocks away to a friend's place. Her friend hands her a grocery bag of miscellaneous s*, she tells me to drive her home... or... wait... ugh I don't wanna go home, just drive around until I figure out where I want to go. Sure, free money, I start driving circles while she drunkenly calls everyone in her phone. Unsurprisingly, no one answers, and she really doesn't want to go home, so we just keep going in circles. I've reminded her at least three times that this is costing her money, I have no problem with it but are you absolutely sure? Yeah no problem, money doesn't matter right now.
The conversation is one of the more hilarious and utterly WEIRD I've experienced. Of course she's so drunk that her speech is entirely slurred and I can't make a lot of it out, but I get enough to know that she's not only drunk, but she's on the longest bender of her life - currently day 8. She was recently fired from her job at a marijuana dispensary and is in the process of suing them for wrongful termination, her dad committed suicide when she was 4, she had like three friends die in various ways within the past few years, something about being in AA but falling off the wagon, her mom is SO RICH but doesn't want to give her second house to her own daughter WTF, she never wants to marry because she has yet to meet a dude who is not a horrible person (but she happily has sex with pretty much all of them), has been pregnant twice and contracted who knows how many STIs, really wants to work in forensics someday and start her own business, on and on and on! I don't mind listening, it's like having a prime time drama show unfold in my backseat that I'm getting paid to watch.
Around 5:45, after over an hour of driving, she said that there's a bar she knows that opens at 7am. If I'm okay with driving aimlessly until then (I assured her that I am!) I can take her there. So another hour and fifteen minutes of wandering later, I drop her off at the bar. She thanked me profusely, called me boo, and told me to have a good life.
And to top it all off, she tipped me with an entire container of marijuana edibles. intentionalgibberish
Reddit user sweet_chick283 asked: 'What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?;
What makes us all unique is our passions and the things we love, whether it's singing in the shower, reading books, or listening to specific music artists.
Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are judged for our various tastes and interests thanks to social media, and it makes us consciously selective about sharing the things we love on the internet.
Curious to hear about people's personal desires under anonymity, Redditor sweet_chick283 asked:
"What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?"
These aren't really chores for the following Redditors.
Good Clean Fun
"Mopping, im a janitor and generally hate my work... but damn mopping is so good."
"When you have a great rhythm going it is something special. I get the same feeling while I vacuum, but won’t let my wife know I enjoy it."
Act Of Unwrinkling
"Ironing clothes. A dozen of them. Can’t explain how it relaxes me. I told one person and they looked at me like I’m crazy."
"My mum misses the days when dad would be out on a Friday night, my brother out with friends and me upstairs quietly playing PS1. She would pour herself a Bacardi & Coke and do the ironing while watching her TV shows."
"I'm sure she doesn't really miss it now that we've moved out and they've retired but it was her wind-down after a busy working week so I can see how people can find it relaxing."
Our solo actions can spark joy.
Big Brother Is Watching
"pretending to be on the Truman show and whenever im in my house i act all inconspicuous so they dont know that i know that they’re watching me."
"C’mon man, you’re not supposed to let him know. You signed a contract when signing up for live views. I’m reporting you."
"Playing video games naked at home while eating cheese."
Releasing The Kraken
"I love the feeling when you've eaten good fibre and let out a solid long train log in the toilet. That feeling is heavenly."
"Even better when it’s a clean wipe and not a poo crayon."
"My (male 41) weekend routine is coming home from work, make hot chocolate, start a fire, dress in a ugly pink nightgown made for old ladies and watch forensic files."
Some people are obsessed with collecting things.
"Sanrio stationery stores. All those different multicolor pens, a thousand kinds of erasers, spiral bound notebooks galore... my kids sadly have absolutely no appreciation for this wonderland..."
It's A Staple
"Office supplies have a weird, special place in my heart ever since I was a kid. They don't even have to be 'cute' necessarily."
"Japan's legendary stationery stores is unironically a reason I want to go."
Not Caring Anymore
"The older I get the shorter that list gets. Not because I love less things, but because I don't care about hiding it."
"YES!! I'm 53 now. I'm working my first job in public since 2006. Today is Halloween and we're allowed to dress up so I am sitting here waiting to go to work dressed as a VERY bad Wednesday Addams. My bf said I'd 'look stupid' because no one else will probably dress up and I'm like, 'WHO CARES!' My makeup looks horrible and not like I practiced, but I DO NOT CARE! I'm having fun with it anyhow and I don't care if my coworkers dress up or not. I'm bein' ME! :)"
Honorable mentions start here.
"Picking up worms from the street and sidewalks when it rains and moving them into the dirt so they don’t burn in the sun, every time it rains I do this."
Hero Of The Moment
"Yoooo I scoot SO many snails and worms. I work as a tech/mechanic at an automotive shop, I had a peoject car towed to my house the other day and it was covered in snails. I saw them when the tow guy/coworker was unloading and I was like, 'oh! It comes with free snails!' and began moving them. He laughed then realized and said, '... Oh, you're serious. Uh... Okay.'"
"I don't care who knows it. These little things barely can look out for themselves, why shouldn't we if we can take a moment to help? I don't care what happens next, it probably doesn't matter overall but I can help this moment."
Why should some of the hidden desires mentioned above have to be secret?
Redditors opening up about some of these would make them a hit at parties–no shaming.
As a matter of fact, I'll totally be down for a Forensic Files viewing party where we all make hot chocolate, light the fireplace, and cozy up together in our respective pink ugly nightgowns for old ladies.
We've probably all heard some variation of the saying "Truth is stranger than fiction."
Real life isn't just strange, it can also be downright ridiculous.
History is riddled with moments of absurdity.
So ridiculous that people have a hard time believing real life is, well, really real.
A Redditor asked:
"What’s an event in history that is so ridiculous it sounds fake?"
"Hannibal saved his army by tying torches to the horns of 5,000 cows and driving them in one direction."
"The Romans thought they were the enemy army and converged on them, while Hannibal quietly snuck his 10,000 man force out of the valley by another route."
War Without Casualties
"That time Denmark and Canada (I think) had a 'war' over Hans island."
"Every time a Navy vessel drove by they picked up the flag of the over nation, planted their own and left a bottle of alcohol."
"I heard it stopped not that long ago."
"It also means that both Canada and Denmark now share a land border with more than one country."
"Also (jokingly) means that Canada could potentially join the EU, as it now borders an EU nation."
"The Erfurt Latrine Disaster occurred on 26 July 1184, when Henry VI, King of Germany (later Holy Roman Emperor), held a Hoftag (informal assembly) in the Petersberg Citadel in Erfurt."
"On the morning of 26 July, the combined weight of the assembled nobles caused the wooden second story floor of the building to collapse and most of them fell through into the latrine cesspit below the ground floor, where about 60 of them drowned in liquid excrement."
Running On Empty
"The 1904 Olympic Marathon in St. Louis."
"32 athletes took part, but only 14 were able to finish—there was only one water station in the entire 26-mile course. The 'winner' was later disqualified because they found out he drove half the race in his car."
"The new winner (the guy who came in second) had to be carried over the finish line by his trainers because they’d been dosing him the whole time with a strange mixture of strychnine, brandy, and egg whites."
"Several people almost died of internal injuries. Multiple runners stole things from passersby."
"Most people in the race weren’t even Olympic-level athletes, just amateur runners, many of whom didn’t even have to run a full marathon to qualify."
"When two perfectly working pistols failed to fire on US President Andrew Jackson who then beat his would-be-assassin so badly that the presidential security detail had to pull him off to save the man's life."
The Log Shot First
"The guy who founded Scientology once engaged in a multi-day naval battle with a log. He would then go on to commit an act of war against Mexico."
"In June 1942, Hubbard was given command of a patrol boat at the Boston Navy Yard, but he was relieved after the yard commandant wrote that Hubbard was 'not temperamentally fitted for independent command'."
"In 1943, Hubbard was given command of a submarine chaser, but only five hours into the shakedown cruise, Hubbard believed he had detected an enemy submarine. Hubbard and crew spent the next 68 hours engaged in combat."
"An investigation concluded that Hubbard had likely mistaken a 'known magnetic deposit' for an enemy sub. The following month, Hubbard unwittingly fired upon Mexican territory and was relieved of command."
"In 1944, Hubbard served aboard the USS Algol before being transferred. The night before his departure, Hubbard reported the discovery of an attempted sabotage."
"I believe he had his men fire into hills in Baja California. He must not have realized that you can’t just use another country for target practice."
"The Field of the Cloth of Gold, where King Henry VIII of England and King Francis I of France tried to out-bling each other."
"The fact that two monkeys covered in gold leaf were far from the most ostentatious display is a good indication of how tasteful it was."
"I assumed you meant two statues of monkeys in gold leaf."
"But no, actual real-life monkeys. Somebody painted actual real-life monkeys gold."
Sorry We Can't Shoot You
"When America went to war with Spain, the Spanish forgot to tell their territory, Guam.
"The US sent a single warship to the island where they took 13 shots at the fort."
"The leaders on the island rowed out to apologize they couldn't return their 'salute' because they had no gunpowder."
"That is why Guam is a US territory."
"The Great Windham Frog War."
"In 1754 Windham, Connecticut was still a frontier settlement. One hot night the residents awoke to gruesome sounds that convinced them that the local Natives were attacking."
"Throughout the night they strove to drive off the attackers with steady gunfire. In the morning they crept out, to find thousands of dead frogs who had spent the night competing for the dwindling water."
"Rather than being ashamed, this has become a central part of the town’s character. The town’s symbol is a frog and the bridge is decorated with large frogs at each corner."
"Basically, the British dressed a random dead guy in a military uniform, put fake invasion plans in his pocket, and dropped him on the shore of Spain."
"The Spanish found the body (and invasion plans) and informed Germany."
"Germany, believing the invasion plans were real, sent an army to Greece—which is exactly what the Brits wanted, because they were actually going to invade Sicily."
They Got Worms
"For a very long time the Roman empire was able to acquire silk through trade over 'the silk road' to China, but never able to unlock the secrets of producing it domestically themselves."
"Until 552AD, when two monks preaching in India then travelled to China, where they witnessed the guarded methods of using the live silk worm to spin the famous thread."
"Knowing the importance of what they'd learned, the monks returned to Constantinople to report directly to the emperor Justinian."
"He personally met the monks, heard all the details of what they'd seen, then asked them to return to China and find a way of smuggling these worms back to the empire."
"They agreed, and prepared for the 2 year ~6,500km (4,000mi) trek back to China on foot, hoof and wheel."
"Once back in China they acquired either eggs or young larvae, since the adults are too delicate for transport, and tucked them into hollowed bamboo canes for the long journey straight back home."
"Once the monks made it back to Constantinople (modern Istanbul, Turkey), domestic silk production slowly ramped up and the need for long journeys along the 'silk road' ramped down."
"Over time, this allowed the same type of silk monopoly which China had enjoyed through the prior centuries to now be established in the Mediterranean, becoming one of the bedrocks of the Byzantine economy for the next 700 years.It's crazy to think about these two guys."
"1500 years before you or I were born, making their second multi-year, 6,500km trek back from China, smuggling two bamboo canes full of bugs which would fuel the economy of one of the world's largest civilizations for the next 700 years."
"I wonder if they knew and understood these possibilities when they went to scoop the worms from their baskets in China...Imagine the anxiety trying to keep them hidden and alive the whole way back!"
"The Gombe Chimpanzee War."
"It sounds like something right out of a Planet of The Apes movie."
"The Gombe Chimpanzee War, also known as the Four-Year War, was a violent conflict between two communities of chimpanzees in Gombe Stream National Park in the Kigoma region of Tanzania between 1974 and 1978."
"The two groups were once unified in the Kasakela community. By 1974, researcher Jane Goodall noticed the community splintering."
"Over a span of eight months, a large party of chimpanzees separated themselves into the southern area of Kasakela and were renamed the Kahama community. The separatists consisted of six adult males, three adult females and their young."
"The Kasakela was left with eight adult males, twelve adult females and their young."
"During the four-year conflict, all males of the Kahama community were killed, effectively disbanding the community. The victorious Kasakela then expanded into further territory but were later repelled by two other communities of chimpanzees."
Hong Xiuquan Christ?
"The Taiping Rebellion (1850-1864)."
"Hong Xiuquan, who failed the imperial exam on the third try to become a civil servant, had a breakdown and dreamed that he was the brother of Jesus Christ."
"He later led a revolution resulting in between 20 to 30 million deaths. That's the bloodiest civil war in the world and the toll of death surpasses the totality of casualties in WWI."
"British diplomats at the time wanted to support the revolution but later discovered that Hong Xiuquan literally never read the Bible and they thus deemed it would be disastrous if he were to get the throne."
"This historical event feels like a fever dream everytime I hear about it."
"John 'Mad Jack' Churchill was a British officer in World War Two. He’s famous because he brought along a Scottish claymore, bagpipes, and a bow and got the 'only confirmed longbow kill of the Second World War'."
"One time he was with part of his commando unit and a shell exploded and injured everyone but him, so he played a Scottish Jacobite song on his bagpipes until the Germans captured him and sent him to a prison camp."
"He promptly escaped via a tunnel he dug and almost got to the ocean before he got recaptured."
"By then, it was April 1945, and the German military was falling apart, so they let him go pretty quickly."
"He’s famous for the quote 'any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed'."
What absurdly, ridiculous event would you add?
Companies and products rebrand for a variety of reasons.
Sometimes they want to revitalize a dying brand.
Or stay fresh and modern.
Other times they're trying to put a negative public image in their rear view mirror.
And sometimes, someone somewhere in a company has low impulse control.
Reddit user PulakHasan asked:
"What's the Weirdest Rebranding of all time?"
"Weight Watchers abbreviated their name down to 'WW' and in doing so, increased the syllables needed to pronounce their new company name."
"You burn more calories uttering the extra syllables."
"Waitr was an extremely successful delivery service here. They had full time employees and you could get food delivered in 30-45 minutes."
"Then, they made everybody an independent contractor and started calling themselves ASAP."
"'As slow as possible' caught on and they lost the majority market share within a month."
"I still don’t understand HBO dropping probably the most prestigious name in cable tv/streaming."
"Right?! Also it literally means Home Box Office - that’s the best name for a streaming service????"
Nordic Choice Hotels
"Nordic Choice Hotels rebranded to 'Strawberry'."
"They have to mention their old name all the time, because Strawberry could be absolutely anything."
"If only it were 'Strawberry Hotels' but it's not. It's just Strawberry."
"They removed the part that explains what kind of business it is."
"USWest-->Qwest-->CenturyLink-->Lumen I don’t care what your name is."
"Can I have more than 10mbps DSL at my address?"
"In Europe, and it's now Level3--> Centurylink--> Lumen--> Colt."
"I'm sure they rename in the hope people forget the incompetence."
"My mom has worked for them since 1977 when they were Northwestern Bell."
"She's been through a billion name changes."
Circuit City IQ Crew
"Circuit City rebranding their PC technician division from IQ Crew (which predated Geek Squad, by the way) to..."
"I worked at a Circuit City from 2005-2008 and we all thought it was a prank when we saw the announcement."
"'The intensity of fire with the loyalty of man's best friend'."
"I sh*t you not—that was the marketing."
"When after a major oil spill, BP changed their branding to Beyond Petroleum for an ad campaign showing how they were investing in renewables."
"Logo change too."
"An oil spilled followed by a huge effort to cover it up, including dumping Corexit into the water to mix with the oil and make it sink."
"So it was no longer visible from aerial shots, but it did far, far more damage mixed with a dangerous chemical and sitting on the sea floor than slowly evaporating or being soaked up on the surface."
"When BP purchased Amoco, they quickly rebranded all the stations to BP."
"Not sure if it is everywhere but Amoco had a lot of brand recognition in the Midwest and a lot of people just didn’t like BP."
"Eventually, they started rebranding some of their stations back to Amoco to cash in on nostalgia."
"I always thought it was dumb but never realized that so many people hated it until after I worked for BP (very briefly) and was told the story of how much pushback they got."
British Petroleum (BP Oil)/Paul Sableman
"Overstock.com I think qualifies for weird rebrand."
"Bed Bath and Beyond went out of business and was bought out by Overstock and then Overstock just rebranded everything to Bed Bath and Beyond."
"If you go to overstock.com it’s just BBB."
"When Snoop Dogg (temporarily) changed his name to Snoop Lion to make a reggae album."
"Snoop’s original name on Death Row was 'Snoop Doggy Dogg'. When he left Death Row and went to No Limit, he had to alter his name (which might have been his original name) to 'Snoop Dogg'."
"Snoop’s mother used to call him Snoopy as a nickname which is the origin."
"The Charles Schulz people would have had a field day."
"Books-A-Million to 'BAM'."
"I was in a parking lot with one and had no idea it was a bookstore, as I was a bit too far out to see more than 'BAM' from where I was parked."
"Everytime I see the new KIA logo I assume its a NIN [Nine Inch Nails] fan."
"I thought it was KN for an embarrassingly long time."
"KIA changed their logo on their cars and Google showed an uptick in the searches for 'K N cars' because people liked the look of them but didn’t realise it was a KIA."
Mark Chan on Unsplash
"Royal Mail deciding Consignia was the way to go forwards."
"They wanted to go international but they lost so much money that year they had to stay national and reversed the name back."
"Twitter to X."
"And then everyone still refers to it as Twitter."
"'A user on X, formerly known as Twitter, posted…'.”
"Rather like to see 'A user on Twitter, erroneously known as X, posted...'."
"'A user on twitter, largely unknown as X, posted...'."
"A few days ago, I saw an article that said 'Twitter, which Elon Musk incorrectly thinks is called X for some reason...'."
"That was pretty funny."
"In Chicago we still call it the Sears Tower [renamed Willis Tower in 2009]."
"And in Pittsburgh, it’s still Heinz Field [renamed Acrisure Stadium in 2022]."
"And in Toronto, it’s still the Skydome [renamed Rogers Centre in 2005]."
"And in New York when you take 287 across the Hudson it's still the Tappan Zee Bridge [renamed Governor Mario M. Cuomo Bridge in 2017]. "
"A lot of LA people still call it Staples Center [renamed Crypto.com Arena in 2021]."
"In Denver we will always say Mile High Stadium [renamed Empower Field at Mile High in 2019]."
Some rebrandings make perfect sense to the public.
Others are utterly baffling.
What would you add to this list?
I freely admit I'm of a certain age where my primary education occurred before the age of the internet—when our questions were answered with conversations with experts, encyclopedias or knowing how to use card catalogs.
My knowledge of the Dewey Decimal System is largely useless today.
Research is drastically different now—sorry Melvil Dewey. Internet search engines quickly became the difference between occasionally finding an outdated version of the information we were looking for and rarely not finding current information on the most obscure of topics.
Unless your Google game is super weak, you're likely to find what you're looking for or something close to it unlike the good old days when our chances were hit or mis—with lots of misses.
So what do we use this amazing, life-changing tool for?
Reddit user b-secret asked:
"What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever Googled?"
"what's the alcohol percentage in 70% rubbing alcohol?"
"55% alcohol, 15% rubbing"
"I Googled my work because I couldn’t remember my boss’ name after working there for 8 months."
"I just blanked and couldn’t think of it."
"I Google how to spell restaurant all the time."
"I'm like that but with Febuary."
"I go into incognito mode to check spellings of words I should know how to spell."
"I was trying to find the name of those signs where a word is written down the side and each letter is used for a descriptive word."
"Confusing I know."
"So here’s an example: False Evidence Appearing Real"
"I know it has to have a name. So I googled 'Sign where every word starts with a letter' and Goggle responded with 'Did you mean a sentence?'.”
"Googled green beans once, was super high and forgot what they looked like."
"I did the same thing with beets."
Gaby Yerden on Unsplash
That Movie, With the Guy and the Stuff...
"I'll forget the name of a movie and just type in random sh*t I think I remember. Usually it works."
"Like 'that movie where the kid sleeps and has weird dreams and flies on a bed'."
"Works like a charm."
Did They Have Blue Feet?
"I was only 10."
"I was surprised to find some."
"I’m 39 and I Google this every day."
"They're nice birds but are they really worth Googling everyday?"
"I used to search something like 'no clothes' or 'without clothes' or something like that when I was a kid."
"Then I learnt the word NAKED because of the TV show Naked and Afraid."
"Then searched it so many times that my autocorrect started to show that word first when I wanted to type something."
"I like to Google Bing or Duckduckgo when I need to use them."
"My favorite band growing up was 'The Barenaked Ladies'."
"When I was at school, I once Googled them and clicked on a link that said 'free shows!'."
"I forgot what a 'gondola' was called so I typed in 'Thing that carries you through the mountains in a basket'."
"I once forgot the word for 'door' so my brain reached for adjacent concepts, smashed them together and threw them out my mouth: 'house portal'."
It Just Doesn't Translate
"I have to search a random word 'auf Englisch' or a random word 'auf Deutsch'."
"Every damn day."
"It took me a minute to realize that there was no way to translate Schadenfreude into English."
"I found out that as long as you're logged into Google, all your searches are saved to your Google account (I'm not talking about browser history)."
"So I looked back, and the 1st thing I ever googled after getting a Google account was 'Can ducks fly'."
"I've no idea why I googled this. I know ducks can fly."
You Ate What‽‽
"Once I was with some friends and I was telling them about how when I was a kid we only got to eat nuts as a special treat around Christmas."
"Then I mentioned how much I liked squirrel nuts and no one knew what they were. So I Googled 'squirrel nuts' with image search."
"Not at all what we ate at Christmas time."
"Finally found out what my family called 'squirrel nuts' were actually called hazelnuts."
"A few years ago my coworker and I were looking at the calendar at work. It had pictures of birds and we were trying to figure out what kind of bird was pictured for that month."
"I can’t remember what she thought it was, but I darned sure it was a Great Tit."
"We have a great relationship and have been working together for a long time but we tend to argue like an old married couple. So we went to Mr Google for the answer."
"Let me tell you that Googling Great Tit at work isn’t something I will ever do again."
"For the record, I was right. The bird was a Great Tit."
Great Tit holds an insect in its beak
A Perry on Unsplash
Hope some of these folks remembered to clear their browser and search histories.
So, what's your hilarious—or embarrassing—little Google secret search?