Teachers Reveal Their Craziest 'This Student's Gonna Be A Serial Killer One Day' Experiences

We've all known someone who genuinely creeped us out, whether we could pinpoint exactly why or not.
But teachers see a lot of weird and creepy things after serving classroom after classroom of students, sometimes they will meet a student who gives them big serial killer vibes.
Redditor Advanced_Bad4443 asked:
"Teachers of Reddit, what was the moment you realized, 'This kid is gonna be a serial killer one day'?"
Impulse Control
"I was in my office one day when a kid I’d never met before strolled in. Very quickly I recognized by his behavior that he was a BD (behavioral deficit) student who somehow got out of his class."
"He started a conversation with me asking who I was and what I did. I could tell he was trying very hard to get under my skin as he emptied a box of tissues one by one. So I didn’t react."
"He then kicked over a number of trash cans, but I didn’t react. He went into my office bathroom while talking to me with the door open (not to use it), and started messing with the supplies in there."
" I walked over so I could get a clear view, and he then tried to pull the sink off the wall while telling me that he has compulsion issues and has a really hard time not doing the things he thinks about but knows are wrong."
"He said last year he was expelled from his school because he threw his desk at another student. He told me sometimes he imagines what it would be like to brutalize and murder someone."
"Eventually, he tired and realized the sink wasn’t coming down. I kept talking to him and asked if he would like to help me clean up the mess on the floor or if he wanted to go back to class. He helped me clean and then I took him for a walk back to his class."
"That kid took a lot of work over four years by a lot of people, therapy and medication included. He eventually learned impulse control and learned the differences between craving negative and positive attention from people. He left BD and got to be in general classes, became an athlete, got some real friends, and graduated."
"I honestly cried when I saw him get his diploma. I hope he stays healthy."
- PantsIsDown
Not Going Places
"A nine-year-old chasing an eight-year-old with a brick in each hand trying the smash the other kid's skull in. When I stopped him, he was screaming something about how he was going to kill the other kid..."
"He's probably 13 now and I suspect in jail or killing animals for fun."
- free_crude_oil
Positive Influence
"Preschool teacher for a very wealthy community. I have a three-year-old who is physically violent. The first day I had him in my class he attacked me."
"I tend to get down on the floor and play with the kids. Seeing an opportunity he latched on to my ear and tore little bits of flesh with his tiny fingernails. I bled."
"I tried talking to his Mom. She said, 'Yeah, he gets rowdy...'"
"Just this past week I had him in my room again. He delighted in making another boy cry. Refused to participate in our activities. Only wanting to throw toys directly at my face."
"Once I did convince him to participate, he clung to me. It was bizarre and honestly made me very sad."
"I talked to some other teachers who've known them longer. Apparently, Mom and Dad are serious alcoholics. He is an only child and desperate for attention."
"They all know about his outbursts and violent tendencies, but there's really nothing anyone can do because he is three."
"I'm just going to try my best with him. Maybe a positive influence and some consistency will give this little guy some reassurance.
I know that there are people who are mentally ill and born with issues beyond their control, but I think this kid just has s**t parents. Wish me luck, friends!"
- MissSassifrass1977
Disturbing
"I have an eight-year-old student in my class this year. All his time at school he has been a troublesome kid, hurting other kids without being provoked, having unpredictable mood changes, and he's really hard to read. Lots of teacher colleagues say he looks dead in the eyes, with no expressions of joy or any other emotions."
"The moment that really shocked me, was when another student had found a fly in the playground. The fly was hurt and couldn't fly anymore. So this student gave it a name (Henkie) and started to care for it, very sweet."
"Lots of classmates joined in taking care of the fly and helping it (making a house out of leaves, etc). I gave the kids some magnifying glasses so they could take a nice look and encouraged the kids' curiosity and gentleness."
"This kid also came over to 'take a look' and was told to be careful, because Henkie was the other students' friend. He looked for 2 secs, grinned, and stomped on it."
"The worst part is that Henkie didn't even die (or at least it was still twitching). So the other student kept on trying to nurse his little buddy back to health. He even took it inside to read it a story. My heart just broke by the love this student was showing for this little creature, but the kid didn't seem to care at all about what he did."
"This was a couple of months ago, and he still even kind of brags about when he (almost) killed Henkie. This kid just gives me the chills."
- Snackicu
Just a Matter of Time
"I'd like to say there wasn't one defining instance but more of a long list of them that when everything was over and I had time to relax and process everything did I come to the realization that in 20, maybe 10, years time, I'd see this little boy as a teen or a man on the news for murder."
"I had this one student, let's call him Timmy (age 4 at the time). Timmy was prone to extremely violent outbursts for little to no reason at all and they were so unpredictable that I had to set up a Timmy evacuation protocol with my other students incase I felt their lives were in danger. These are some of the times I had to use this protocol."
"Before Timmy was banned in my room from using pencils and safety scissors, he went on a rampage with a pencil. He was trying to stab another classmate because I helped her with her writing before him."
"He was doing his writing just fine, and seconds before that, I had told him, 'Great job, Timmy, I love how you are keeping your letters on the lines.' He didn't need help, and he never once asked for it."
"Thankfully, the little girl was not hurt as I was right there and was able to throw my hand in front of her face where he was aiming. However, he did get me and the pencil lead was left in my hand."
"Timmy attempted to choke another child because that child was using a red crayon, so instead of getting an identical red crayon from the bucket in front of him he tackled that child out of his chair and put his hands on his neck while screaming like a banshee."
"About a week after the choking incident, he was upset because he wanted to be the only one in class, so he pushed a shelf that I, as a grown adult, have trouble moving over in an attempt to in his words 'squish' his classmates who were working on the carpet. (Thankfully, I was able to hold it up while they ran.)"
"He proceeded to destroy my entire room, to the point where I decided to just move classrooms for the day as it would have been impossible to clean it up and frankly I didn't want my already traumatized students to come in and witness it."
"Every single day, this child would have a violent meltdown. Some were more contained to himself, a small area, or me personally."
- VanillaRose33
Preventative Care
"My wife thinks her best friend’s son is going to grow up to be a serial killer, and, while I think she tends to overstate things, it’s hard to deny that there is cause for concern."
"I’ve gotten creepy vibes from this kid since he was a toddler, less than a year old."
"He’s probably six or so now but was kicked out of most of the preschools in their area for being violent towards other kids. At one point a couple of years ago, he got very fascinated by death, squishing bugs to see what would happen and talking about stabbing himself."
"The mom (my wife’s friend) is concerned and has taken him to doctors to try and discuss, but hasn’t gotten much in the way of help. But I don’t think they’ve pursued strongly much in the way of psychiatric/psychological specialists."
"The dad (who has become VERY right wing) seems to not be overly concerned, and his solution seems to be either Catholic or Military School when the kid gets older. Which to me sounds like it would do more harm than good."
- justahominid
Flip of a Switch
"She was a little angel student when my boss was in the room, but the second the door closed, she tilted her head, stared at me, and said, 'I want to hurt you.' Her eyes were absolutely lifeless. She was eight."
"She was also very frequently violent to me and other students/teachers."
- TheUnpunctualWizard
No One Home
"This is chilling to recall. I’m also a teacher, and while nothing violent happened with this kid, I also looked into a kid’s eyes one time and saw absolutely nothing. It was like there was no soul in there."
"He was a run-of-the-mill disrespectful child, with a reputation for being a troublemaker, but I never actually had an incident with him. However, I have never forgotten the day I made eye contact with him, and the coldness and emptiness in his eyes scared me so bad. I have never felt so creeped out."
- cml678701
Wrestling Match
"Not a teacher but used to have a friend that had a cousin in the same school and this cousin had an almost disconnected link to other people."
"The first time I was introduced to him he started the conversation with, 'If I kill someone, I'll get away with it because they say my head's different.'"
" This was during high school where everyone is finding themselves so I just thought he was trying to be a tough guy. Just nodded my head and stepped back."
"He was the type that if people were play fighting or wrestling he'd invite himself and make it a real fight. Once getting me in a wrestling move called the 'Boston crab' and just kept adding more pressure as I was screaming for help and clawing at the floor, genuinely thinking my back was going to break."
"No remorse or thought he was taking it too far, only stopped when several people were yelling at him to let me go."
"The look on his face as I was getting away, like he was disappointed he had to stop haunted me for years. Stayed as far away from him as possible after that."
"Last I heard he's admitted now due to refusal to take medication and constant violent outbursts."
- KingOfFlukes
Hopefully All Talk
"I’ve taught PreK (four and five-year-olds) for years. Only one kid has ever really scared me and I wish I knew what happened to him, he’d be high school age by now."
"He used to talk about hurting animals a LOT, we had several conferences with his family but they swore he never did that at home and never hurt an animal despite so many times of him talking about it at school."
"He had zero affect most of the time, no smiling or laughing. He would be sneaky about hurting other kids, pinching or things like that, and have no remorse when he did something wrong and wouldn’t deny it either. Completely dead behind the eyes."
"I’ve never had another kid like that, even the violent ones who have hurt me or destroyed my room have had emotion and remorse at some point. Not him."
- waughwaughwaugh
Too Fascinated
"There was a kid in my elementary school who used to abuse small animals. In high school, he got super obsessed with serial killers and was caught trying to make poison brownies and give them to kids at our school."
"I was one of those kids (as were two of my classmates in one class), but we didn’t eat the stuff he offered us."
- Gulbahar-00
It Starts at Home
"He wrapped both his hands around her throat unprovoked, he laughed about it, and his mom defended his behavior. He was eight years old."
- nniicholee
Shocking Reveals
'"I think about hurting people all the time. I dream about it every night,' was said by the sweetest, most polite girl in one of my ninth-grade classes."
"I turned that over to the counselors immediately. Hope she got the help she needed but knowing the public school system my guess is they didn't even address it."
- little_shop_of_doors
No One Listening
"Kid in fifth grade (11 years old) very intelligent and in gifted classes. He would torment the other gifted kids. The only time I ever saw his creepy, dead-eye, jack-o-lantern smile was when he made another kid cry."
"He would do things like finish a book over the weekend that the other kid was reading just so he could come in and spoil the ending. He researched some country that this kid's grandparents came from and called him a nazi (it wasn’t Germany - can’t remember)."
"The other kids' parents did the nice kid thing: just ignore him. And god love them, these kids tried."
"He would chase them on the playground just to say creepy s**t. Anyway, I came in 1/2 way through the year. I called a meeting with the parents and school social worker. They said the other kids bullied him!"
"I kept a bunch of papers that he wrote about blowing up the school, blowing up the White House, and making way for a new species of human. He is definitely going to kill prostitutes or hide bombs somewhere."
"After he went to middle school there were a bunch of bomb threats. I notified the principal about his behaviors and sent copies of the papers he wrote. Awkwardly, his father worked at the middle school. Anyway, the threats stopped soon after that."
"He would have graduated by now and I have no idea where he is. But when he kills people, I’m going to the news with all my documentation and show that I tried to get this sick little s**t some help and no one cared. What else can you do?"
- troismanzanas
Social Influence
"Not a teacher but the meanest, most malicious, vindictive, manipulative child I ever knew growing up did not become a serial killer. Nope. She became an 'influencer.'"
"I’m kind of scared of what she’ll become when she’s no longer relevant as an influencer, or when her looks fade and fail to bring her the attention she craves."
- SuddenYolk
These stories are absolutely chilling, and it's no wonder that there were concerns about who these people would grow up to be, or what they would do when they came of age. Hopefully at least some of them received the care they needed, so they could turn their lives around for the better.
Though it's often used as the butt of jokes, there's still a lot to appreciate in the United States, whether you live there or are visiting.
But there are also a lot of things that leave onlookers infinitely perplexed about what it's actually like to live in the United States and why they do things like that.
Redditor DadIsMadAtMe asked:
"What’s the hardest thing for you to comprehend about the American culture?"
School Pride!
"School mascots. Where I live, we just have teams and just play matches against people."
"In America, it’s all like, 'GO, EASTTOWN EAGLES!!! OOGACHACKA!' and there would be some person in a cheapo eagle suit spinning a basketball on his fingers or something. You would have a full dramatic cheerleader dance-off before your match, we just shake hands and stare hard at each other."
- benderbrodriguez2
No Child Left Behind
"Canadian here on spring break in Florida."
"I can't get over the baseline... I don't know how to say it, the baseline education level? There are smart people, but there are also completely uneducated people. Like, the divide is massive."
- Spiffydude98
Little-To-No Paid Time Off
"Having two weeks vacation or no PTO (Personal Time Off) for most."
"In my current country, you have to take two weeks of mandatory leave in a row. Including public holidays, I get about seven weeks of vacation per year."
- poor_decision
Financial Debt Culture
"How casual debt is, how easy it is to take loans and credit cards out in other people's names without their knowledge, and how casual it is to rack up huge amounts of debt."
- StrangeDarkling
...Enough Said.
"College fraternities."
- Gorazde
Where's the Poutine?
"Americans love french fries, cheese, and gravy, but poutine never took off south of the border. Always found that odd."
- righhanddan
Zero-Tolerance Policies
"The zero-tolerance rule... Who came up with that s**t? The victim is the one who is f**ked. Either he gets bullied or he gets a penalty for defending himself."
- vomahaf244
Political Followers
"A lot of people follow and worship politicians like they’re gods with flags and all that s**t. In the UK, it’s universally acknowledged that we hate all politicians pretty much equally."
- Monkeytennis01
Tipping Culture
"Having to tip almost everywhere. It definitely makes sense at some places, but feel like we have to tip at the most random of places these days."
- Educational_Word_647
Cultural Appropriation
"I speak as a Latin American, just setting that down on the table."
"I don’t get why people think that using something from my culture or showing interest in Latin culture is 'cultural appropriation.' I’ve even spoken to a lot of people in my culture about this thing and we all think it’s alright."
- OG_sweaterguy
Healthcare
"Your healthcare system, it's so complicated and expensive. And people going bankrupt because they get sick, what bulls**ttery is this?"
- MrTempleDene
The Stereotypical American Eagle
"American here, fun fact! That stereotypical screech you commonly hear associated with the bald eagle is actually a red-tailed hawk. Bald eagles do not make that sound. They make more of a weird (way less cool) chirping sound."
"I was too old when I learned this for the first time."
- ay-aye-ron
Plus Tax... What?
"Why don't they include tax in the total price of something? Just include it and make life easier. I don't want to have to do maths every time I go there and buy something."
- Old_Understanding325
Not In That Exact Order
"You are allowed to drive a car at 16, own guns, and sign up for the military at 18. But alcohol, behold the devil's liquid!, is only for 21+. The math ain't mathin'."
- lover_of_wisdom_
Money Money Money Money
"Lobbying."
"Legal bribery, what the h**l."
"Also, why do you have to do your taxes? If the Government, in the end, knows if what you paid was what you actually owed, why not just tell you."
- Lolleos
People looking in on the United States definitely had some questions about the people who live there and the systems they have to observe. But the big secret is that many Americans are asking the same exact questions.
People Confess Which Things They Swore They'd Never Do As A Kid But Ended Up Doing Anyway
When you were younger, your protected perspective on life and the world was probably significantly different compared to now.
Before life experience informed your decisions, younger you most likely had higher aspirations to achieve a specific goal or swore off doing something you found objectionable.
But here you are, as an adult, doing the exact opposite of what you had intended.
Curious to hear from strangers online about their developmental growth, Redditor 1234kyou_ asked:
"What did you swear in your childhood you would never do, but ended up doing anyways?"
Some hobbies that delighted us as kids never really go away as these Redditors have experienced.
The "Bird Creep"
"Birdwatching. I used to think it was the lamest way someone could spend their time when I was a kid. How could anyone just sit around and look at birds? What are you, some kind of bird creep? ... 20 years later and I'm obsessed with birds. Love hearing their songs and seeing all the beautiful colors."
– Koala-teas
Unfilled Dream
"Give up drawing."
"I actually broke my own heart when I recently found a school project we did back when I was a kid. We had to write a letter for our future selves and mine starts with: 'Hey, did you become an artist already? I really hope you did not become a boring adult with a boring job who gave up on his dreams and passions.'"
"Well, sorry little me, but I kinda did."
– Aesma_
Tending To One's Garden
"Gardening. We had a large garden. We raised and preserved what we grew. It was me and my sister's job to care for this garden. This was back when whipping your child was acceptable punishment. I was whipped sooo many times, because I hated that I had to grew and preserved vegetables I did not like. I hated it! Swore I'd never have a garden. Never do THAT to my kids. Then I had kids. A switch flipped in my head. I had to have a garden! I never made my kids take care of it. Gardening was my 'me' time. But being little kids, they wanted to be with mom and 'help' with the garden. I 'gave' them an area and they were allowed to grow whatever they wanted. If it was a fruit or vegetables , they had to eat it. As a result, they both love gardening and neither are picky eaters."
– Eogh21
When it comes to keeping it in the family, it's not always the goal.
Like Father...
"I have become my father."
– jer1303
Like Mother...
"I have become my mom.... even the voice is similar."
– rogue1206
Dad's Cynicism
"I've taken on a lot more of my dad's cynicism than I would like, but mostly I have my mom's wonder and carefreeness."
"But my dad is rich and mom is poor."
"He does not share the wealth he just shares 'you should've done X like this'. But his advice is the level of 'tear down the sign punch them in the face and say you're looking at your new employee'. I've also never heard a single dad joke from him."
– BugTester350
Posthumous Disapproval
"When I was touring houses to buy before the pandemic, my mother's spirit must have possessed me because I opened my mouth and her voice said 'i don't know, i don't think I could live in a house without both a coat closet and a linen closet.'"
– TJtherock
Adulting is hard.
The Financial Hole
"Get into debt I can't pay off."
– lilviviv
Potty-Mouth
"I said I wouldn’t curse unless a nuke was dropped on my house. That was a f'king lie."
– -notjosh-
Can't Wait, Don't Hate
"Have sex before marriage. Thank f'k I never made good on that one since I'm 41 and have never been married."
– squid1891
I'm a pretty fussy eater. Always have been.
I grew up in a Japanese family where regularly eating natto was a thing.
Natto is a Japanese dish made from Bacillus subtilis-fermented soybeans. It's known to have magical health benefits but the smell is overwhelmingly powerful, and the nutty taste leaves little to be desired.
Many people not used to eating exotic foods can't stand the flavor and slimy, sticky texture–let alone the pungent aroma.
I swore as a child that would be the one food I would never eat again after having a bad experience.
And yet, here I am as an adult, eating it for breakfast 2-3 times a week after truly understanding the health benefits.
Natto–which is rich in protein, vitamins, and minerals– helps maintain healthy cholesterol levels, reduces blood pressure, and can prevent heart disease. Some studies have suggested it can prevent certain cancers.
Once I trained myself to get used to flavor and smell, I actually crave it now.
It's definitely an acquired taste, but it's crazy to know that we are all capable of liking or appreciating something previously thought of as repulsive once we set our mind to it.
Finding love is something that nearly everyone hopes for at some point in their life.
For some, love practically finds them. They hardly need any time searching for the true love.
Others might have to work a little harder and be a little more patient. They never give up the hope that their one true love is out there, somewhere.
Then there are those for whom the search simply isn't worth it and have found themselves resigned to the fact that they may never find someone.
Whether or not that's how they want their life to be.
"Have you given up on love, if so why?"
Fear Of Getting Hurt
"To me the price I have to pay if I want to be in a relationship is I have to be vulnerable."
"And at some level I just don’t want to get hurt that bad again."
"I accept this, and have family, friends, work, hobbies, and things to look forward to."
"So while I wouldn’t say I have given up on love, I’m not looking for it and would be very wary of any new situation."- hdhdhdhdzjursx
"Gotta be honest, pretty much have."
"The last person I loved romantically found just about every way to put me down and reject me, all the while pulling me back in repeatedly."
"It was not worth it."
"I'm going solo but still kind of hoping for Miracle."
"I like me."- ATXDefenseAttorney
Don't Have The Energy
"Yes, because I'm tired."
"Tired of going out to find someone to love, tired of getting to know a new person and being comfortable enough to fall in love, tired of learning new things about this new person and whether we are compatible, tired of meeting each other's families and getting to know a whole new bunch of people..."
"Being single may be lonely, but I won't be exhausted."- Avelevanstar
"Not sure if I've given up, but I am getting real tired."
"Having to get to know new people, putting my heart out there without knowing if I'll succeed this time, so tiring."
"I'm learning more about myself in therapy, and I've seen ladies' heads turn when I speak, I've been told I have a nice voice, but chasing a lady is so much work for so little payoff."
"Never had a girlfriend before too, and I'm hitting 40 soon."
"Each new lady is a learning experience but it's also incredibly draining."
"Sometimes I just wanna curl up on my bed and ignore the whole world."- Blim004
It's Given Up On Them
"I haven't given up on love, but I doubt I will ever love again."
"After 53 years and so many attempts that ended in tears, I don't think I will ever have that chance again for a variety of reasons."
"I spend times just trying to come to terms that I will die alone someday."- kalwayne3573
For Their own Self-Care
"Yes."
"For now."
"Need to repair myself so the next guy doesn’t have to do it for me."- Beginning-Match592
Lack Of Reciprocation
"Given up on love as I am the only one loving, the others just need me."
"When they're done, they push me away."- gameygamer15
Traumatized By Past Mistakes
"Ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love?"
"So that's why, though I hope time will heal me or sth."- guess_I_feed
"I was in a 10-year abusive relationship."
"Unfortunately I didn’t realize until very late and then I ended it."
"It’s too much of a risk to meet someone again as these type of people are very manipulative and you don’t realize the cruelty they are capable of until you are trauma bonded."
"It’s not easier being single but it’s a lot less heartache."
"I thank my lucky stars every day that I got out."- corickle
"My last four love interests either cheated or 'found a girlfriend'."
"It's left me believing I'm just not a person who can be romantically loved."- Owlmystery
Happy Being Alone
"I’m not capable of giving someone my all and I enjoy my time alone more than anything."
"Two failed marriages later, we chillin."- HDTempo
Life Is Good The Way It Is
"I had a big love."
"It didn't work out."
"Now I live a truly beautiful life alone and I wouldn't trade it for the world."
"I just spent the weekend with my friend, her toddler, new puppy and failing marriage and when I got home I nearly cried with the feeling of gratitude for my peaceful life."- spice-pop
"On romantic love, yes."
"I have so many social aversions and require so much space that I'm neither capable or interested to nurture such a relationship."
"I'm happier and more functional on my own."- USAIsAUcountry
Literally Don't Know What They're Missing
"Never been loved before, can't miss what I haven't experienced."- Allnutsz
Social Anxiety
"I wasn't socialized from the ages 12-22 and have severe social anxiety."
"It's hard to meet people when you're terrified of them."- owe-me
The true romantics should never give up the hope that their soulmate is out there, somewhere.
That being said, being without a partner is nothing to be ashamed of.
As the only person in control of your own happiness, is you and you alone.
Hiring Managers Explain Which Mistakes Make Them Want To Throw Away Someone's Resume
A resume is so much more than just a simple list of your work experience.
Indeed, your resume is the first step in getting your foot in the door to your dream job, highlighting not only your past experience but your skill set, as well as things about you that will make recruiters want to get to know you more.
On the flip side, sometimes there are things on your resume that will automatically send you to the reject pile.
Of course, this is bound to include common, careless mistakes such as spelling and grammar errors or missing vital information, such as a phone number or email.
However, no two hiring managers will have the same set of red flags they look for on a resume. This can make finding a format that will please everyone something of a fool's errand.
"Hiring managers of Reddit: What makes you immediately throw out a résumé?"
Not In It For The Long Run
"I once received an application from a man in his 60s."
"Solid CV, lots of experience."
"In his cover letter he wrote 'I'm applying because the Job Centre asked me to'."
"Please note that I intend to retire in 6 months time'."
"We had a good laugh, then sent him a very polite rejection letter and wished him a great retirement."-BeerPoweredNonsense
Make Sure They Actually Get The Right Document...
"One time I had someone upload how to upload their resume from Dropbox instead of their resume."- rabidwhale
Always Proof Read!
"I'll usually still interview unless there is no relevant experience, but I've seen some atrocious resumes."
"I've seen people use crutch words like 'uh' in writing for a job description."
"I've also seen a sentence 4 lines long with zero punctuation."
"The same resume will have 'attention to detail' as a skill set."
"I've interviewed for one of those resumes, and the applicant said 'I dunno" to about 80% of my questions, and it turned out he didn't even know what job he applied for'."
"It's not that I'm overly picky, but if someone can't spend the 20 minutes or less that it takes to proof read their resume, are they going to put a lot of effort into their job?"
"Maybe, but it's hard to know."- ChristyM4ck
Make Sure It's Legible
"The only time I have ever had to throw out a resume was because someone possibly had it in a bag with their lunch and the paper was soaking wet and dissolving as I tried to unfold it."
"It was just unacceptable to process."
"The application was left in a drop box so I don’t know if it was a prank or an actual applicant."- 416unknown
Unprofessional Email Address
"Back in 98 I asked a new group of hires at GIECO to write their email addresses on a list that was passed around."
"Remember email was kinda new back then.. "
"One young female employee's email address included 'mybaldc**tchie'."- catjugglinpimp
Never Send Someone In Your Place
"It’s been a long time but I used to do hiring for a cinema."
"Staff were often young, for many it was a first job, making popcorn and selling tickets type of gig."
"I would not pursue anything where parents came in with a CV for their teenager or if parents were contacting me on behalf of their teen."
"Big red flag."
"Either their kid didn’t want he job in the first place or they’re incapable of taking initiative and it doesn’t bode well for how they’d be as an employee."- FigJamAndCitrus
"Having your parents submit your resume while you stand silently beside them."- krim2182
It's Pure, Dumb Luck!
"I remember a meme or maybe a tv skit from a while back."
"The hiring manager had a huge pile of resumes on his desk."
"Someone asked how he was going to sift through them all."
"He took 2/3rds of the pile, threw them in the trash, and remarked 'I don't hire unlucky people'."
"Lol."- SpecialSpite7115
All About The Formatting
"This doesn’t matter 100% of the time but bad formatting."
"If it’s hard to read I probably won’t read it."- Far-Gain-3081
Depends On The Job
"If it's a professional position, significant spelling errors will make me pass on a resume."
"If it's a warehouse job or something, I'm less concerned."- staffsargent
Don't Treat It Like A Text Message!
"Former hiring manager here."
"I tossed MULTIPLE resumes that used text message abbreviations throughout the resume and cover letter and one that included emojis."
"While you can do pretty much anything from your phone, it doesn’t mean you should."- spectacularuhoh
Choose Your References Wisely
"Not me, but a friend who checks resumes/CVs had a belter."
"Candidate had a conviction and his reference was his friend 'Baz'."- LexiRae24
Make Sure You Have The Relevant Skills
"I know it’s pretty specific but If your looking for a scheduling job make sure you know how to use Excel and clearly state it on your resume."
"It will probably get thrown out otherwise."- LoyalPlanets
As stated before, no two hiring departments will have exactly the same prerequisites and red flags, so no matter how hard you work, your resume is never going to please everyone.
That being said, multiple misspellings and a cheeky e-mail address are a surefire guarantee of not pleasing anyone.