Every family has its secrets.
It's up to every new generation to unearth it all.
Don't we all want to know if we're related to famous people?
Or what if we have a familial stake in lands and businesses?
Also, this is a good way to NOT end up dating blood relatives.
The more you know, the less awkward later.
As much as there is a lot of trauma there could be a lot of cool facts to to discuss at parties.
Redditor ForthrightPedant wanted to hear some interesting family histories, so they asked:
"What is a historical fact about your family that you think is kinda neat?"
I don't have any family history.
Of course I've done no investigating.
Maybe I do.
I should look!
Super Talent
Excited Happy Hour GIF by Boomerang Official
Giphy
"Great-grandpa created the Flintstones. Dan Gordon. Drew lots of Hannah-Barbara cartoons, and directed the first three animated Superman films at the beginning of WW2 as well as several seasons of Popeye, Scooby Doo, Smurfs, Yogi Bear, Huckleberry Hound."
downnoutsavant
Bad Voyage
"My grandfather disliked America and wanted to return to Ireland. He booked passage on the Titanic’s return voyage. If it wouldn’t have sunk, no of us would be here."
mrseddievedder
"My great-grandmother was a Titanic survivor. She was a steerage-class Lebanese immigrant in an arranged marriage. Her husband went down with the ship but she managed to make it to a lifeboat and made it to the Carpathia. Then she remarried in a Lebanese neighborhood in Virginia. Had it not been for the iceberg that struck and sank the Titanic My family lineage would be different and I wouldn't be here. My family's official toast is 'to the iceberg.'"
jaspersurfer
Forgotten
"My husband's grandfather was one of the 'forgotten soldiers' in Canada. He was a Canadian-born Chinese man who asked the Canadian government to fight for his right to vote and a passport. Even tho he was born in Canada in the 20’s since he was Chinese he was not considered Canadian."
H"e was dropped into the Burma jungle and was told he would likely never return. He was in the 10% that did return. He was given the right to vote, to a passport, and to University."
"His wife is still alive today and my son is named after him."
cowskeeper
Can you imagine?
"My great-grandmother had 13 kids, so she was pregnant for literally a decade. There’s two hundred of us now, all because of this one woman."
CoverlessSkink
"My great grandma had 14 kids. My grandma was the youngest. She died giving birth to my grandma. The oldest child who was like 22 years old raised my grandma. My great-grandfather remarried a woman who had 10 kids of her own. My grandma would tell me stories of them all living together. Can u imagine? 😦."
Content_Pool_1391
Long Ago
american wtf GIF by unimpressionism
Giphy
"The land my dad was raised on and my cousins still live on was deeded to the family by George Washington as compensation for service during the Revolution. There was a document with his signature on it at the courthouse until a fire destroyed the records a few decades ago."
mustbethedragon
So much land and fortune and HISTORY has been lost due to fire.
Thank God we keep more than paper records now.
Over the Moon
Michael Jackson Dancing GIF
Giphy
"My second cousin is David Scott who walked on the Moon and drove the moon buggy. My mom does. He was so busy during the time when I was young that he even said later in life that he wished she’d gotten to know more of his family."
Roadgoddess
The Union
"Great-great-great grandfather on my mom's side was working his field in the part of Virginia that split off and became a new state because they didn't want to secede from The Union. Union soldiers came along looking for conscripts and he was a young, able-bodied man so they told him to come with them. He informed them he was a Quaker and thus a pacifist. According to family lore, that discussion went on for a bit but he would not give in. So they shot him and left him there. Good thing he had a couple of kids well before that day."
SpottyNoonerism
Opportiunities
"My great-grandfather was offered a chance to invest in a new invention by a guy by the name of Alexander Graham Bell. He declined, saying at most there would be one telephone per town."
Carson4307
"That is apparently my family too."
"One uncle apparently built a version of a hot water heater and then sold the design to GE for a good sum back then."
"Another uncle was asked if he wanted to be in a photo during his military service. He said no so they raised the flag on Iwo Jima without him in it."
"No idea if any of these are true, at best they are enhanced truths, but for me, I really hope they are true."
Jormungand1342
Underground
"I have a relative who worked for the Underground Railroad and had a price on her head in the South."
dahlia6767
"My uncle was a carpenter. And was doing restoration work on old houses in Yellow Springs, Ohio. Many of those old, historical homes had underground railroad passageways and hidden walls. He got to see and restore many of them. He had photos of some of the work he was doing and I got to see those as a kid. Living in Southern Ohio, we have a lot of rich underground railroad history here."
AddictiveArtistry
Family Empire
blood discussion GIF
Giphy
"My great-grandfather was the town police chief in the 1920s. His brother was the Mayor. Their cousins ran the casino."
"My family was a smaller version of Boardwalk Empire."
nowhereman136
Wouldn't we all love a show based on our families?
Then that's even more neat family history.
Men can be a mystery.
They like to hide as much as they can about themselves.
In truth, the rest of the world already suspects most of whatever behaviors they're trying to bury.
But often, it's so healthy to unburden yourself whenever you can.
Isn't it also comforting to know we aren't alone on this?
You do that? ME TOO!
Redditor Miguenzo wanted all the men out there to make some confessions, so they asked:
"What is something all guys do but will never admit to doing?"
Going to the bathroom sitting down more often than you think.
That's a guy truth I'll admit to.
I like to be comfortable.
Playtime
U Know Flirt GIF by Wimbledon
Giphy
"I play with my penis more than any other object, by far."
killsafety
"And not even in a sexual way. Sometimes just flopping it from left to right while watching TV."
OneMorePotion
"This is what my wife had a hard time understanding. Just cause I'm messing with it, doesn't mean I'm aroused. I'm just fidgeting and that's my object."
Cigarettelegs
HER
"Imagine your entire life with a girl you just met."
Old_Situation4990
"Did this this weekend. The most beautiful woman working as a barmaid I have ever seen."
"However, I know it's annoying having someone hit on you while working and working in a bar she must get it all the time. so I kept quiet ordered my drinks and didn't bother her. She remembered what I was drinking by the 3rd drink. that was enough for me. LMAO."
EngineersMasterPlan
Think About It
"Daydream about insane scenarios that will never happen where you're the main hero that swoops in to save the day. Common examples include things like thinking you could figure out how to land an entire airplane in an emergency, thinking about 'What happens if there's a robbery and I stop the bad guy,' thinking about saving someone from a burning building, thinking you could save someone's life if there's a random medical emergency, etc."
bbbbbthatsfivebees
Spoons and Forks
"Not sure if this is for all guys, but my BF will never ever admit that he prefers to be the little spoon 😭."
raviolixx
"I’m over a foot taller than my wife, so I often joke that 'she’s my better third.' But I HATE being a big spoon. Nothing makes me happier in my marriage like being a little spoon, curled up, while she runs her fingers through my hair… Just thinking about is releasing the endorphins. We will hit 29 years together in a couple of months, and it not only never gets old, it gets better with age."
ZacInStl
Pick Away
jason clarke flirting GIF by Originals
Giphy
"Nose picking is more common than anyone will admit."
oldwhitch
"Nose picking is probably the most efficient way to get uncomfortable buggers out of your nose."
AllDressedJalapenos
Ugh. Nose pickers. Stop it. Just stop it!
Whoops
Uh Oh Oops GIF by 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment
Giphy
"Morning pees sometimes go sideways and there's annoying cleaning up to do."
Apprehensive_Sky9062
Sniffed
"Sniff our armpits to be sure they don't stink or we enjoy the smell."
Individual-Option514
"This one is def gender neutral. I've had several girlfriends be embarrassed that I 'caught them' smell-checking themselves. As if they thought it was some secret weird thing they do and nobody else did. LOL."
Zeallust
"When I get nervous I stick my hands under my arms and then I sniff my armpit smell off my fingers and it calms me back down."
Papaya_flight
Inch by Inch
"Measuring their penis. Yeah, some will admit it. But some refuse to admit it."
Just4TheSpamAndEggs
"I don’t need a tape measure to know what disappointment looks like."
flightlessf**kbucket
Haven't done it in a while. At this point, I'm too afraid it's gotten smaller. If that's possible."
Double_Win_9405
"I have honestly never measured my d*ck. Girls I dated did. The numbers really mean nothing to me. I only cared if it was too small. Once girls told me it wasn't, I was satisfied."
esoteric_enigma
I Feel Pretty
"Being friendlier to attractive women."
JoeSchmoe314159
"Attractive women are scarier for many, so a lot of us probably come off as aloof or rude whatever towards them because we just kind of ignore them (actually are just too nervous to address them directly)."
"This isn't such a thing for me now that I'm in my 30s and have a long-time committed partner. No pressure... lol. But I know when I was a younger guy in the dating pool, the very attractive women were terrifying... lol."
bossmcsauce
"Attractive people actually get treated better in most areas of life in general. It’s called Pretty Privilege. Attractive people are trusted more easily, looked up to more, invited to more things, talked to more, can get a raise easier, and obviously can date easier."
Ur_Fav_Step-Redditor
At least once
"If you're single; Having feelings/Attraction to almost every female friend you've got. Doesn't have to be strong feelings. Doesn't have to be romantic. But you've thought about it. At least once. Maybe three times."
TA2556
"Definitely not universal. This stopped happening to me after I started and finished one major relationship."
"You develop a sense for what you actually want -- and how much more valuable friendship can be than any random romance."
"Also, as a straight guy, having uncomplicated friendships with multiple women is a great way to just get out in life, meet people and situations you never would've otherwise, and not bog down your own psyche. Really elevated my 20s."
MRIchalk
Underneath
wicked GIF by Ice Cube
Giphy
"Kicking ice cube under the fridge when falls."
Subject-Inflation805
"Gotta feed those shadow critters."
UnRealmCorp
I love the ice cube kick.
I think it's gender universal.
Being let go from your job is never a pleasant experience.
Particularly if it comes out of nowhere, without any possible warning that this was a possibility.
Even if it isn't any more pleasant, generally speaking, most people have at least an inkling of why they were let go.
Budgetary reasons, dissolved departments, being told you weren't meeting company standards, or bad blood with the boss.
As well as some less common, highly unusual reasons which at least might make a good story down the line.
Redditor Sweetlo123 was curious to hear from people who were let go from their jobs, and why they were met with this fate, leaving them to ask:
"What did you get fired for?"
For Standing Up For What's Right.
"We were told we get OT for night work."
"The new 'company manager' let it slip that we don't actually get OT for night work, so when I was scheduled for five nights in a row working on a transmission line cell site I mentioned that I expect everyone working from our company on site get OT."
"Once it was said that we won't get OT and that it wasn't an actual policy (was written in employee handbook), I forwarded the email chain to the entire company and leadership at Verizon."
"I was canned, but now everyone gets OT for night work."
"My life is better now anyway and got my people what the deserve."- drklunk
This Was Never Going To End Well...
"Aggressively squeezing breakfast muffins lol."
"I was a few days into working at Mcds and someone complained I gave them a muffin that was too hard-they bake them at like 3 am and sit in a warmer all day."
"This was before they had the full bakery menu, I think muffins was the only thing baked and maybe cookies."
"So my manager told me to squeeze them before I hand them out."
"Me being a dumb teenager squeezed the s*it out of these muffins and got another complaint."
"They stopped scheduling me, haha."- eatmyknuts
You Have To Do The Work To Get Paid...
"I just stopped working and began only attending meetings."
"Lasted almost 9 months that way before they let me go."- frantictossing
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Wrong Time, Wrong Place
"I was fired after a month into my first job at a local pizza joint when I was 16."
"They called me during the Super Bowl and said I had to come in."
"I told them I was out of state without a car so no way I could make it."
"They said I should’ve known this was one of the busiest days of the year and I should’ve stayed in the area."
"I came in to work my next shift and they just gave me my paycheck and said they had to let me go for not being a team player."
"10 years later I was fired from a job in tech because I refused to move out of state."
"This one hurt a lot more."- seventyfive1989
Hard Not To Say They Had It Coming...
"The company's timeclock software ran off of the computers time, so when I was late I would just close the software, change the time back to before shift start and then clock in and change it back."
"The supervisor who showed me the trick fired me."
"A day or two later he saw me pulling in late, and when he went over the time info that day, it showed me clocked in on time."
"He knew why."- Grief-Inc
Nepotism Always Screws Someone Over...
"Worked at a gas station and was a sucker for the free soda."
"I would drink a few 24 oz glasses of Dr. Pepper (don’t judge) per shift and had to piss relatively frequently."
"I usually worked with the same lady every shift and every shift my drawer came up short even like $10-20 bucks."
"One day my usual co-worker was off and I worked with another lady who warned me to watch my drawer around the other and hers had been short when she was around."
"That got me to thinking."
"The next shift with the usual lady I stuck some receipt paper into the lip of the bottom of my drawer and hit the bead."
"When I came back the paper was on the floor."
"My drawer was short $20 at shift change and my boss fired me."
"I told her of my findings and asked her to review the security tape."
"She told me to f*ck right off the other lady had been there years."
"I left heart broken and rented some VHS tapes to indulge in and recover."
"One of the movies was Casino and man is that a good movie."
"Come to find out the usual lady was the boss lady’s cousin and they f*ckin told people I knew I got fired for stealing money."
"I though about calling a lawyer but also, I was in high school and was delusional I suppose."
"I got out of that town after high school and rarely return, especially considering all my family moved off."- woohhaa
Snl Smiling GIF by Saturday Night Live
Giphy
The Age Old Story Of Men In Power
"Caught the boss stealing."
"So he fired me."
"His word vs. mine and it didn't go my way."- freezingprocess
People Tend To Get What They Deserve
"Embezzled almost $500,000 from the doctor's office I worked at."
"Oh no, wait."
"That was my former supervisor who did that...26 years after she fired me for taking home a left over slice of pizza after a drug rep hosted a pizza party for the office staff."
"Karma can take a long time, but it always comes through."- YourFront
Late To The Game...
"Being the last hired when they instituted layoffs."- BubbhaJebus
Some Plans Can't Be Cancelled
"1970s YES 'Close to the Edge' tour."
"I had my tickets and had the request approved for time off, they changed their mind at the last minute and would not let me off."
"Pfft."
"Left anyways and was genuinely surprised when I got back on Monday and they informed me that I was fired."-AmandaBRecondwith
Treat Others Like You Want To Be Treated
"My boss was talking sh*t about me to employees, and I confronted her with 'how would you expect the people below me to respect me when you show them that you don’t?'"
"She didn’t like it and literally went crying to the owners, who then fired me for 'causing problems'.”- Successful-Snow-562
For Literally Doing What They Were Supposed To
"I got fired for slacking off and underperforming at work by taking my legally required lunch."- 10leej
Hungry Lets Eat GIF by TRT
Giphy
They Couldn't Have Waited One Day?
"Worked as a QA tester for an online game company."
"Found bug while on my personal account at home."
"Came in the next day and reported the bug."
"I was VERY clear I found the bug while playing at home on my personal account."
"It was a nasty bug that let you duplicate very expensive items."
"A few weeks later someone in customer service was checking the logs for people exploiting the bug."
"They found mine and the company decided to fire me on my birthday."
"That was around 15 years ago but it still upsets me every year, on my birthday."- PedanticCyborg
While most believe "ignorance is bliss", anyone handed a pink slip deserves to know why.
Even if sometimes the reason gives no closure whatsoever, and instead only results in even more questions.
Parents lie.
But the older we get, the more we realize parents are not just humans telling little white lies.
They can be villains with malicious intent.
Catching a parent in a lie can be soul-crushing.
But it's a part of growing up.
Hopefully we learn how to be better.
Redditor Hackedfaith wanted to hear about the times people realized their parents were hard-fibbing, so they asked:
"What is the worst lie you caught your parents telling?"
My mom told me anything in life was possible.
And cheaters never win.
Yeah sure. Sell me an igloo an Iceland too.
Expelled
Andy Samberg Ugh GIF by The Lonely Island
Giphy
"My Dad used to tell me that he learned all of his cool tricks and skills in 'Daddy School.' I'm now 28, married and still have not been enrolled."
AdLive7065
Thief
"That the 2K I earned at my summer job would be safe in my mom's savings account until I wanted to withdraw it later. Never saw that money again."
drillgorg
"I lost money to my mom too. I was a kid, told her I had $50 in change (I don't know where it all came from), and she said I didn't. She counted it and it was gone."
"She stole a good deal of my babysitting money. Hundreds of dollars. She filed my first tax return (without telling me) and kept whatever money I would have got. She told me that the fee to get it done was about as much as I would have gotten back."
Sarhii
A Second Family
"That my mother was schizophrenic. I was 15 and knew she had been battling depression for years. Schizophrenia runs in our family and as an angsty teenager, it was very easy for me to believe... She was completely convinced that my father had a secret second family. She was diagnosed and medicated for years. He did have a second family."
Thationdeas76
"He did have a second family??? That had to have been devastating. 'Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't after you.'"
TwoLittleNeedleMarks
2008
"That they couldn’t afford to pay for college. So I took a job during the day and paid my way through night and weekend school. Turns out I had a decent trust fund from my grandfather. I could have graduated and started working for a higher wage 4 years earlier. I tell myself that graduating in 2008 wouldn’t have been a good idea anyway."
RandomRavenclaw87
Weekends Only
Looney Tunes Rabbit GIF
Giphy
"Up until I was 8 years old, they told me that daddy was away at college. We would go see him on weekends. Found out later that he was in prison. I wondered why we could only talk to him behind glass on a telephone."
hhairy
The truth about parents can often to difficult to accept.
That's why there is therapy.
Scandal
Shocked Oh No GIF by Yêu Lu
Giphy
"Found out when I was 25 I have a sister one year older than me that they gave up for adoption, I'm 37 and have been searching for her for the past 10 years."
Even_Future2580
'Mom! Mom!'
"One night I went downstairs to ask my mother something. My dad was a light sleeper and would get really pissed if anyone woke him up, so I whispered, 'Mom! Mom!' All of a sudden my dad sat up and yelled at me to get lost. They told me I should never sneak up on them because they had a gun and my dad thought I was an intruder and almost shot me."
"They scared the bejeezus out of me. Sometimes when I tried to get to sleep I'd remember how my dad almost shot me. For years. Even after I moved out. Decades later, I mentioned it to my mom. She started laughing and told me they were having sex. There was no gun."
Sapphyrre
Internal Affairs
"My dad went into the ER with stroke-like symptoms. He ended up having a severe brain bleed that required immediate and major surgery. While he was laying in the ICU, my mother, who opened their computer to get insurance info, found messages on his linked-in page, that he’d left open earlier that morning before I took him to the ER, from a woman he was engaged to in college. They had been having an affair for over a year."
ParanrmlGrl
Still Works
"They told me if I was lying there would be bubbles on my tongue. So when they asked me something and they thought I was lying they'd tell me to stick out my tongue. If I knew I was telling the truth, I'd open my mouth confidently and show off my bubble-free tongue. If I was lying, I'd try to scrape the bubbles off with my teeth. I now use it on my son. Still works."
Obst1994
Tilly
"When I was 4 We had a dog called Tilly, my mom said that she gave her away to a boy who couldn't speak and she died while saving him from drowning in a river Years later when I was around 13, my mom was on the phone with her friends and they were talking about their pets that passed away, turns out that tilly died because my mom was drunk and let her out of the house, she ended up getting hit by a car."
Yogurt2022
Bad Bunny
Easter Bunny Dance GIF by SportsManias
Giphy
"When my sibling and I were young, we were tossing toys around that the Easter Bunny had left for us. My mom started yelling at us, 'I did not buy those for you to treat them like that.'"
ExMoIsMyPersonality
Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy... the lies are enormous.
A malleable fact isn't a fact, it's an opinion.
So it feels like much of early education has been a big bag of opinions heeped onto generations prior.
No wonder those standardized tests were such a mess.
On the flip side of that thought, life, and science evolve, so facts do change.
Once you're out in the real world, so much has to be relearned and disproven.
Who can keep up?
It feels like we should be paid as participants in the school of life.
So let's do some relearning.
Redditor yepvaishz wanted to hear about the times we've learned some new things about some old things, so they asked:
"What was a fact taught to you in school that ended up being disproven during your lifetime?"
The amount of lies we were fed in school is too high to count.
So let's sift through memory lane and make some corrections.
RECOUNT!
My Work Animation GIF by Andi
Giphy
"From an educational filmstrip: 'Saturn has four beautiful rings...' The Voyager photos of the thousands of rings had come in like a week before we watched this."
robaato72
Never say Never
"Germany would never reunite. The French would never allow it."
Powerful-Ad9392
"I'm German and I was 11 when it happened. We housed our East German part of the family for a couple of weeks when they came over to visit. My cousin was my age and had never been shopping (just wandering around a mall looking at things) and my uncle begged my dad to take him to a hardware store just to see what stuff was available."
"Just three months before the wall fell, my dad had been over to visit them, just by himself, saying it was too dangerous for us kids (and I imagine it would have been a hassle getting permission for the whole family). It was such a wonderful time. A peaceful revolution without a single gunshot."
"I'll never forget the moment when the people who had fled to the German embassy in Prague got told they were allowed to leave. That collective scream of joy and relief by 4000 people still makes me tear up every time I watch the video. https://youtu.be/Qh9EwNurawE"
best-in-two-galaxies
200 MPH
"Pompeii was buried slowly by falling ash. They pointed out that remnants of people were found, right in the middle of doing things, but didn't realise this contradicted the burying being slow. It's now thought that it was buried very quickly by pyroclastic flows - superheated gas travelling over 200mph."
ablativeyoyo
"It’s also blew my mind to find out the 'bodies' you see at the site were the hollow spaces where a body once was, filled with plaster, and the hardened ash removed. As a kid I never thought about it I just saw shapes of bodies and thought 'that's a body.'"
Zanzoken814
Bye Kraken
"When I was a kid, the Giant Squid had never been captured or photographed, and some people talked about it like it was el chupacabra. My little brother always said he'd be the first person to get footage of one. Sadly, it has since become an ordinary animal that we know exists. RIP the Kraken."
EarthExile
"I’ve seen the preserved corpses at the Smithsonian. It’s pretty fascinating to think no evidence existed until our lifetime."
UnihornWhale
Crack Away
Sonic 2 Punch GIF by Sonic The Hedgehog
Giphy
"Cracking your knuckles causes arthritis."
panda388
"They just wanted us to stop."
Admiral_Minell
I've cracked for years and probably will for life.
My fingers are still slender.
Diet Lies
Season 7 Nbc GIF by The Office
Giphy
"Food pyramid."
OutrageousEvent
"Of all the facts that have since been disproven, this might be the worst. We have a generation of adults who are getting diabetes and fatty liver disease because of what these people said."
calumin
Bad Illustrations
"Your tongue has different areas for tasting different tastes:sweet on the tip, sour on the sides, bitter in the back, etc. I feel like this was some elaborate prank played on my generation. But I remember seeing this in my elementary school biology textbook. I don’t even think it was disproven, like, they just stopped telling this lie. WTF."
"From what I have read, more like a game of telephone.Study results got slightly distorted, and then changed into a graph which didn’t have meaningful numbers, which lead to an illustration, which got re-purposed. That an illustration got put into textbooks for years and years."
danneedsahobby
Exposure
"Blood is blue until exposed to oxygen."
mwjb86SFW
"This one triggers me. I had an old lady teaching my 6th grade science class that sent me to detention for arguing with her when she said the blood in your veins was blue but red in your arteries. To be fair, I argued with her on a lot of things she was wrong about, but this is the only one that resulted in detention."
"That's the only time I can remember my dad, a chemist, actually go to the school to confront a teacher for being wrong. Incidentally, she also counted off on a test because I said sound was one of the senses. She wanted hearing. I said you sense a taste, you sense a sight, you sense a smell, and you sense a touch, so why don't you sense a sound? That argument lasted several days, but she did give me my points back."
pacer_3iii
The Science of It All
"Neurons can never regenerate. This was from my then-one-year-old anatomy and physiology textbook, and my private, Catholic school actually took - and still takes - its science seriously; we never talked about creationism or the divine influence on our natural world, not to mention our solid AP Physics and AP Chemistry scores. It turns out that that the peripheral neuron system actually can regenerate; as of now, it doesn’t seem that the central nervous system has much in the way of that capability."
Brunt-FCA-285
Jokes on Them
muppets computers GIF
Giphy
"Playing with computers is a waste of time and won’t lead to a career. Said to me by a very old, and bitter teacher. 25 years in IT and counting."
zerbey
Who knew computers would take over the world?
They seemed just like big cumbersome machines at first.
Now they build and destroy lives and careers.