Parents lie.
But the older we get, the more we realize parents are not just humans telling little white lies.
They can be villains with malicious intent.
Catching a parent in a lie can be soul-crushing.
But it's a part of growing up.
Hopefully we learn how to be better.
Redditor Hackedfaith wanted to hear about the times people realized their parents were hard-fibbing, so they asked:
"What is the worst lie you caught your parents telling?"
My mom told me anything in life was possible.
And cheaters never win.
Yeah sure. Sell me an igloo an Iceland too.
Expelled
Andy Samberg Ugh GIF by The Lonely Island
Giphy
"My Dad used to tell me that he learned all of his cool tricks and skills in 'Daddy School.' I'm now 28, married and still have not been enrolled."
AdLive7065
Thief
"That the 2K I earned at my summer job would be safe in my mom's savings account until I wanted to withdraw it later. Never saw that money again."
drillgorg
"I lost money to my mom too. I was a kid, told her I had $50 in change (I don't know where it all came from), and she said I didn't. She counted it and it was gone."
"She stole a good deal of my babysitting money. Hundreds of dollars. She filed my first tax return (without telling me) and kept whatever money I would have got. She told me that the fee to get it done was about as much as I would have gotten back."
Sarhii
A Second Family
"That my mother was schizophrenic. I was 15 and knew she had been battling depression for years. Schizophrenia runs in our family and as an angsty teenager, it was very easy for me to believe... She was completely convinced that my father had a secret second family. She was diagnosed and medicated for years. He did have a second family."
Thationdeas76
"He did have a second family??? That had to have been devastating. 'Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't after you.'"
TwoLittleNeedleMarks
2008
"That they couldn’t afford to pay for college. So I took a job during the day and paid my way through night and weekend school. Turns out I had a decent trust fund from my grandfather. I could have graduated and started working for a higher wage 4 years earlier. I tell myself that graduating in 2008 wouldn’t have been a good idea anyway."
RandomRavenclaw87
Weekends Only
Looney Tunes Rabbit GIF
Giphy
"Up until I was 8 years old, they told me that daddy was away at college. We would go see him on weekends. Found out later that he was in prison. I wondered why we could only talk to him behind glass on a telephone."
hhairy
The truth about parents can often to difficult to accept.
That's why there is therapy.
Scandal
Shocked Oh No GIF by Yêu Lu
Giphy
"Found out when I was 25 I have a sister one year older than me that they gave up for adoption, I'm 37 and have been searching for her for the past 10 years."
Even_Future2580
'Mom! Mom!'
"One night I went downstairs to ask my mother something. My dad was a light sleeper and would get really pissed if anyone woke him up, so I whispered, 'Mom! Mom!' All of a sudden my dad sat up and yelled at me to get lost. They told me I should never sneak up on them because they had a gun and my dad thought I was an intruder and almost shot me."
"They scared the bejeezus out of me. Sometimes when I tried to get to sleep I'd remember how my dad almost shot me. For years. Even after I moved out. Decades later, I mentioned it to my mom. She started laughing and told me they were having sex. There was no gun."
Sapphyrre
Internal Affairs
"My dad went into the ER with stroke-like symptoms. He ended up having a severe brain bleed that required immediate and major surgery. While he was laying in the ICU, my mother, who opened their computer to get insurance info, found messages on his linked-in page, that he’d left open earlier that morning before I took him to the ER, from a woman he was engaged to in college. They had been having an affair for over a year."
ParanrmlGrl
Still Works
"They told me if I was lying there would be bubbles on my tongue. So when they asked me something and they thought I was lying they'd tell me to stick out my tongue. If I knew I was telling the truth, I'd open my mouth confidently and show off my bubble-free tongue. If I was lying, I'd try to scrape the bubbles off with my teeth. I now use it on my son. Still works."
Obst1994
Tilly
"When I was 4 We had a dog called Tilly, my mom said that she gave her away to a boy who couldn't speak and she died while saving him from drowning in a river Years later when I was around 13, my mom was on the phone with her friends and they were talking about their pets that passed away, turns out that tilly died because my mom was drunk and let her out of the house, she ended up getting hit by a car."
Yogurt2022
Bad Bunny
Easter Bunny Dance GIF by SportsManias
Giphy
"When my sibling and I were young, we were tossing toys around that the Easter Bunny had left for us. My mom started yelling at us, 'I did not buy those for you to treat them like that.'"
ExMoIsMyPersonality
Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy... the lies are enormous.
Handwritten....
This guy wrote all the solutions/answers at his palm, when the teacher asked him to open his hand he just said: "I cant open it." Screwed me up lol. birdi1e
I knew a guy that once wrote answers on his quad for an exam. He wore basketball shorts to school that day and rolled up his pants leg to see the answers.
The teacher came around and asked what he was looking at, then asked him to roll up his pants leg. Kid then accused the teacher of being a flirt. I don't remember exactly what happened after but I think he got a day of detention and an F on the exam. hotpocketlord
Yummy.
A kid hid a sticky note in the top of his mechanical pencil and pulled it out when the teacher wasn't looking, after he was done with the test he ate it. Fiberglass_mayne
Speak Up.
GiphyWe had a french speaking test, where you had to recite a speech we had already written, except no one could be bothered to learn it, so there was this one guy who sat at the front who held his french book up like he was reading it, and on the back he held a printed version of the persons speech. Safe to say it worked because everyone did really well. Sufficient-Violinist
Starting too Young....
When I was in 3rd grade, we had to take a a math test at the end of the day for the stuff we went over. Well right before the test started, the teacher erased all the info on the whiteboard with all the answers on it. During the test, I could see the imprint of the answers still on the board. After my teacher realized I was suspiciously staring that the whiteboard very hard, she cleaned the board and the answers were gone. I didn't do very well on that test. mrcool998
"I gave it to you at the 8am section"
This is also the most impressed I have been with a college professor. Calc 3, multiple session (~80 students each), and on test day you could come in during any session that you wanted to take it. There were also 5 tests in the semester, and you can drop your lowest (ie you can throw your test away before grading).
It was fairly common, unless you were trying not to take the final, so there were occasionally people that did not turn in the test before leaving. I was in the later section, and as the prof was handing out the test. He skipped over the blonde Canadian, and he was like "You missed me". The prof said "I gave it to you at the 8am section" and carried on.
He had tried to go to the earlier section to get the test, learn all the answers/what is on it/have all day, and turn it in with the afternoon section. And this professor recognized who he had given a test to earlier out of 200 students. Then he became know as the blonde Canadian dummy. MTAlphawolf
The System....
Basically the whole school knew of this method; I think it was developed over the years and passed on by older siblings/friends. Surely the teachers must've known, but it's hard to catch.
On a multiple choice quiz with A, B, C or D for answers, kids would gently rest or tap fingers on the desk to represent the answer, you know as if they are just pondering. One finger for A, two for B, three for C and four for D. Then was a system to say which question you were asking for, which was to grab, pull, stretch or crack your fingers.
Fist closed or complete open was 0, left thumb to pinky was 1-5, right thumb to pinky was 6-10, but 10 was ignored. You'd do the first digit twice and the second once.
You'd only really ask people around you for odd questions and hope they give you the right answer, but for SATs when we were about 16 this was potentially effective for improved guessing on questions you didn't know. snaynay
Wrong Gen...
I was told about a kid in my niece's nursing program. Kid had a smart watch where he could access data from his phone. Prior to the tests he'd put all of the data he needed where he could scroll through it on his watch.
During the final the Teacher asked for all phones to be turned off or you'll get a failing grade.
Someone was texting the kid during the exam, the watch the started making noises and the teacher realized he has been cheating all semester long.
No idea what happened to the kid. This must have been when the Gen1 Apple Watches & Samsung devices came out. pklam
Just Blow....
GiphyThe guy sitting next to me during an exam had a cold the same day it began. He hid his notes between the folds of his handkerchief just a few layers away from the snot. He held it openly throughout the entire test, confident that the teachers won't dare to touch the snot filled fabric. slockins101
Bravo Gents.
GiphyI had a couple of students teach themselves sign language so they could sign "A, B, C or D" to each other. I caught on and made a test with an "E" option and made sure many answers were E. This made them create a new symbol on the fly.
I then started making two versions of the test and making sure they each had the different test from each other. This essentially solved it, but they started signing the questions to each other. I never confronted them because I was too impressed that they were teaching themselves sign language. They both got B's in my class. Ol_Man_Rambles
"focus"
GiphyI had a spelling test in the third grade. We were told to spell the word "focus" and at the time I was using a Focus brand pencil with the brand name along the side of it. Thought I was going to jail for sure. LeluWater
Scribblers....
We had to make a math test on our laptop. All other programs needed to be closed and there were 2 teachers surveilling.
My classmate installed some program so his friend could take over his computer without it being obvious. The classmate scribbled on his paper like he was doing the math and his friend looked up the answers and filled them in. When one of the surveilling teachers neared my classmate would move his cursor so his friend would know not to fill in the answer until he moved his cursor again.
My man won the game. He got an A. CopyrightRachel
On the skin...
I have dermotographia. It is a rare skin disease, harmless, but sometimes annoying. Basically that everything i scratch into my skin stays for around 15 minutes before fading. One time we had a substitute teacher so i wrote down some answers for the test. He busted me, but i just denied that it was there. By the time the principle came along it had all disappeared. SlamClam
GOOODDD!!!!!
In middle school a girl who bullied me constantly all but shoved her head in front of my face during a math quiz. When I glanced at her and saw her eyes fixed on my paper she looked at me and went I'M NOT EVEN LOOKING AT YOUR TEST OH MY GOOODDDD!!!!
And proceeded to get highly upset when I covered my paper the rest of the time. maximumovarize
"3x5"
GiphyMy favorite is still the student who noticed that the syllabus allowed for a "3x5 crib sheet" and didn't mention any units, so she created a 3 foot by five foot poster will all her notes on it. The professor let it stand because she was right, he hadn't specified 3x5 inches. astrakhan42
Hey Professor....
College professor told us about a kid who came in to his office crying the week of finals and telling him about how his grandparents were killed in a car accident and he wouldn't be able to take the final because the funeral was on the same day. Professor was a nice dude - he consoles this kid and tries to cheer him up and tells him not to worry about the final.
A little later in the day, the professor is feeling bad and decides to try to get in touch with the guys parents to offer his condolences. He calls the parents, who have no clue what he's talking about.
Professor ended up calling the kid back to his office and calling student affairs up right then and there to report him for cheating. I believe the kid made a zero on the final. jonahvsthewhale
5 minutes after the test started...
back in college, in math tests we needed a specific sheet of paper where the math problems were supposed to be solve, so everybody had an empty one that they had to fill up and turn in when they were done,
So pretty much all the students brought the whole exam written down in an extra paper, since the professor gave the same one every semester, and just write all the problems from the cheat paper, of course hidden in a bag or under the table, to the clean one over the table.
so all cool, but this absolute imbecile brought the full cheat paper, swap the clean one with the completed cheat paper, and turned in the test...
5 minutes after the test started...
the teacher lost it, everyone fails the test instantly, pretty sure they stoned that dude afterwards. adrianinked
Can't help.... in latin?
College latin final. A girl I went to high school with sits next to me. She was a year older, a cheerleader, and we were in a club together back then. We knew each other but not well. At that moment, she looked panicked.
She was visibly shaking, pale, and really hung over. She grabbed my arm, leaned in really close, and in a shaky voice asked me to help. Before I could process what was happening, she scooted closer and said she would do anything.
That last word drawn out in a way that I think was supposed to be sexy but in her state came out like a crack hoochie begging for a dollar.
All I could do was shake my head slowly and say "sorry."
Not because I wouldn't give her the answers. I would have done that without her begging or the implied sex (which I wouldn't have done).
I didn't study either and failed myself. Rmanager
Periodically....
In 8th grade I cheated a couple of times.
First was on a state capital test. I literally asked my friend next to me what several state capitals were and he told me. The teacher was right in front of both of us the whole time. Literally standing in front of my desk. We did not whisper. She was a bit clueless...
Second was on the periodic table. We sat at those three person lab tables and I was in the middle. I had a copy of the periodic table on my lap. The two girls on either side of me kept staring at my lap. The teacher noticed the staring and made a joking comment about what could be so distracting about my lap. The girls both turned beet red and stopped looking. Teacher did not think to check any further and I aced the test. chalmun74
Here... just cheat guys...
GiphyI had a teacher once who just didn't give a crap. One day we had an exam where he was the supervisor, and some student asked him something about a question. He didn't know the answer, so he just asked the rest of the class to give the right answer. After that, he just asked us to tell the following couple of answers as well, so that we all could go home earlier, as he had more stuff to do.
Unsurprisingly, he doesn't work there anymore. TJBullz
