Ever wish you could go back in time and chat with your younger self? What if you had only 30 seconds what would you say?
1. "Listen Arsehole in 10 years you are going to have 30 seconds to say something to yourself, for Goodness sake think of something good to say."
2. Al Qaeda is going to destroy the World Trade Center in New York City on September 11th, 2001 by hijacking planes out of Boston. This ruins everything. Also buy stock in Google and Apple.
3. College is a lot easier at the age of 18 than 25.
4. Nothing. I'd hand him a letter with a list of things I always regretted missing out on or doing. It'd go something like this... Dear past me, I'm you, from the future. I know what you're thinking. We got fat. Truth is, as I got older I didn't change my diet. I still eat like an 8-year-old kid with no regard for consequences. It sucks. I know right now you're wild about [ex-girlfriend]. The sex is great and she's super attractive. But trust me when I tell you this. You're wearing rose colored lenses. Listen to your friends and what they say about her. You made a bad choice. She's going to dump you in a year, and you're going to try to kill yourself. You've got a choice ahead of you: dump her, or ride it out. I'm not going to tell you how to proceed. That ordeal helped me grow up. I'm stronger because of it.
Pay your respects to Grandpa. I know we don't deal with death well. When I said goodbye, I was so in shock by what was going on that I called him Keith instead of Grandpa. Don't do that. Give him a hug, thank him for everything, and tell him you love him. TJ is going to be killed in a helicopter crash very soon, within a few months. Prepare yourself. He dies... (Continued)
Continue reading on the next page!
Prepare yourself. He dies doing what he does best. He takes over a Blackhawk night training exercise to let a buddy go home early for Christmas. The helicopter altimeter messes up, they can't see where they're at, and they crash into a forest. This is the worst thing you'll ever feel. Get ahold of him, tell him how much he means to you. Please. Then be there for Mom and Dad. They're going to need you.
Tell Jenn how you feel. Truly. It's been a decade and I still get butterflies when I think about her. I don't know how she will react, but you need to put those feelings onto the table. At the very least, you'll have some closure. That's something I never got. I know you think Dad's a dick right now, but he gets better. We're actually pretty good friends now. Just try to see things from his perspective. Mom gets cancer again. Be there for her. I don't know how this works out. It's ongoing in my time. One last piece of advice: Get your head out of your arse. You may be the "hot drummer guy" in high school, but after you graduate you won't be anybody. Pay attention in school, learn all you can, and apply to colleges. Take care of yourself. I'm counting on you. ~ Future me.
Then I'd punch him right in the stomach as hard as I could, because I was such a cocky little prick when I was younger.
5. Dont do drugs and stay friends with the one legged guy, he'll help you.
I'll explain... when I was 18 I got kicked out of my parents house and I took what money I had and moved to the big city where I knew no one.
I was trying to figure out what I was supposed to do, to find a place to stay, and rebuild a life, and I spent a bit of time in this one bar (fake ID) where I met this guy.
...during me typing this I realized I think he must've had both legs at the time. Pardon me I'll correct that one legged comment to *the bald future pirate.
Real friendly guy, bought me drinks and talked to me for a while, we hung out a bit after that but then I screwed myself over and got hooked on heroin, went down that road for a few years until I OD'd and decided to get my life together for real.
I didnt know anyone who wasn't a junkie, had no idea where to look, and through an actual miracle I found my pirate friends number in my jacket, dunno how, dunno why, the universe just wanted to help me out I guess.
I called him, he gave me a place to stay while I detoxed and helped me get back on my feet, he and his gf are actual angels and he deserves everything good in the entire world because he is selfless and without him I would not be here.
Also he lost his leg in a car accident and his gf was his nurse, it's the damn cutest thing in the world.
6. "Codeword" (Yes I have a codeword for time travel shenanigans)
Lose weight now, before it gets way harder.
Dad has a midlife crisis after Grandma's death and is (Continued)
Continue reading on the next page!
and is cheating on Mom, divorce 2014
You get Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma Cancer July 2015.
I would probably shout this in rapid succession.
7. "Break up with her in person you nitwit!"
8. I'd spend 30 seconds high fiving myself.
9. I would ask them to tell me what to avoid, as I am under the age of 18.
10. I tell myself these words. "[Passphrase], 2017, Bitcoin 800, Packers, Giants, Ravens, Seahawks, Patriots, Lakers, Mavericks, Heat, Heat, Spurs, Spain, Germany" I would then place some serious bets at the beginning of the seasons and win all the money.
11. Would 18 year old me see current me during those 30 seconds?
If so, I probably wouldn't actually need to say anything; the sight of my patheticism alone would be enough to kick my rear into gear when it comes to future choices.
12. Don't be afraid of girls. Most of them are (Continued)
Continue reading on the next page!
Most of them are equally nervous to talk to guys as you are to them. If you make the first move, no matter how small, then they don't have to.
And for anyone, that's usually a good thing.
13. You WILL find him. He is SMOKIN hot, great in bed, and a certified bad ass with a heart of gold. Totally worth the wait. It will be a long wait though, so relax and try to have fun until your sister's wedding.
14. Stop smoking weed and focus on bettering yourself. Believe it or not, smoking weed and bettering yourself at the same time are near impossible.
15. Protect yourself, not other people. Don't date L or A or V or J. Focus on money, not people. Drink, it's fun, you don't really need those brain cells for adulthood and people like you for drinking.
My 18 year old self wouldn't listen. Shrug.
16. Choose a different major. An English degree is going to make you really stressed out and broke when you're 23. But congrats on being the first to go to college or whatever.
17. Don't go to college just because (Continued)
Continue reading on the next page!
just because you feel you're 'supposed to'.
18. Put on a condom!
19. "Talk to mom and dad a lot more. Drop Engineering and go into something you're interested in like film or comp sci. Start sleeping on a regular schedule. Also there's going to be this girl when you get into college, whatever you do don't -" poof
20. You are going to fall in love many times! It's OK to be alone for awhile.
21. Buy lots of Apple and Google stock. With proceeds go the vegas and bet on Donald trump to be president in 2016, yes the orange orangutan reality show guy. You'll be able to buy that island in the South Pacific that you've had your eye on.
22. You're actually only 2/3rds gay at best. Sexuality is more fluid than you think.
23. Next year when you visit your father, make an appointment with the local research hospital to be a test subject in an MRI machine. Charm your father with a description of how the physics works on those things and get him to be a test subject too.
Just trust me: be upbeat and make it happen.
[Years later a professor at a medical school looked over Dad's records and (Continued)
Continue reading on the next page!
[Years later a professor at a medical school looked over Dad's records and estimated that Dad's brain tumor may have been growing as a low grade tumor for a decade. Dad's behavior started to change when I was nineteen. It was a long time before he got diagnosed, though--too late to save his life. This would be the best chance of getting him into treatment early].
24. Your kids are going to be three awesome little dudes. Don't do anything to screw that up, they belong on this planet! Also, do your pelvic floor! Laughing and weeing is not fun.
25. Do not marry him!
26. Feed and nurture relationships with family and friends that make you happy, aren't judgemental and love you for you. Be that supportive and non-judgemental human to those around you. And stop drinking half full beers you find left behind at bars. It's gross.
27. Learn about avoiding debt and staying financially free. Student debt is one thing, but credit cards are only a path to financial slavery if you make bad decisions.
28. "It gets better. It gets real bad, too. But mostly better."
29. Go into plumbing right out of school.
30. This fear you have, that sometimes keep you from doing things, this isn't normal, and most importantly, you can do something about it. Go to a therapist now because if you don't it will become worse and worse to the point it will take over your whole life.
Oh, the beginning of the interwebs.
Those were the days.
We definitely did not see what was to come.
Maybe it should've stayed simple.
We'll never know.
Computers rule the world now.
Let's see where we are in another twenty years.
RedditorEzucraAaAa wanted to wax nostalgic about the good old days of technology and its humble beginnings.
"Redditors, what's something the internet was crazy about but is now forgotten?"
I miss the simplicity of not having a thousand apps. I'm simple.
Ah Memories...the messengers aol GIFGiphy
"Search engines before Google existed. Alta Vista, Lycos, Web Crawler..."
"Downloading custom cursors for your computer. I gave my family computer so many viruses back in the '00s trying to click things with a lightsaber."
"Amazing. I had totally forgotten about all the virusy stuff I downloaded to my home computer, purely so the cursor would disappear and reappear. My parents had zero knowhow with computers either, so likely had no idea wtf I was downloading. Cursors were cool though, despite all the malware."
"During the early days of the web, when most websites weren't plastered with advertising... Website view counters."
"Back in the day of counters, one day I went to my website and the counter was in the thousands. I just thought it malfunctioned and ignored it. Years later I learned that my website, which had a MIDI collection, was published in a newspaper in another country. I couldn't say for sure if that was true and whether it aligned with the counter change."
"Yea the internet was simpler too, layout style I mean. I like old style HTML webpage layouts. I personally don’t like hyper modern logos and designs on interfaces. Something about old slightly pixelated designs about them home screens and app logos really made them satisfying. I’ve even went as far as seeing if I could install some extensions that could change the layout of sites, make them feel older, give them that 2000’s html look."
Found ItLooking The Loud House GIF by NickelodeonGiphy
"I used to waste so much time with stumble upon."
What a strange and crazy place the internet was.
notificationBaby Love GIF by LINE FRIENDSGiphy
"Poking on Facebook."
"I had a friend that poked me and I never noticed the notification. He died. I now have this unreturned poke as a reminder that I’ll never be able to poke them back."
"Many flash games are not dead. BEHOLD! The flashpoint project. They have saved thousands of the old flash games in a playable format. Go forth and relive your childhood Also paging u/The_Middler_is_Here"
I will find you...
"There was a rhythm game that I don't remember the name of that me and some friends would challenge each other in, and it had the song Guitar vs Piano 2 which introduced me to Envy, who was a pretty big newgrounds artist at the time. I wanna go check out their stuff again now, I'd completely forgot about them till now."
"Forums. There used to be so many, incredibly active and dedicated forums."
"A lot of the forums I visited were ruined by photobucket when they decided they wanted paid a lot of money from their users. So many build threads and tutorials ruined."
"IMDb had the best message boards back in the day. Chatting with your internet friends around the globe about every nuance in your fave movie. Man I miss that. Reddit is close, but nothing beats the olden days."
FunEgg Hatch GIF by The Roku ChannelGiphy
"Do you guys remember those egg things that hatched little creatures after a while? You'd put one on your website and then the artist would update the source url with images of it hatching? There were all kinds of little fun things like that."
Those were the days!
Do you have something you'd like to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Not all television and movies are loved by all.
A story and its characters have to appeal to you in order for you to be engaged.
It can take next to nothing for us to lose interest and let the screen go black.
Redditor BarooTangClan wanted to compare notes on all the entertainment we've said "that's enough" to.
"What will make you instantly stop watching a movie or show and why?"
I hate bad acting, writing, storytelling... I hate bad anything.
Stop JumpingFight Scene GIF by Operation FortuneGiphy
"Fight scenes with a million visual cuts. Gives me motion sickness. Contrast the absolutely masterful work in John Wick. long cuts, realistic use of weapons (mostly), 100% skill."
"When the actors whisper the whole movie and you have to crank the volume to hear what's being said - but the soundtrack or some other misc noise starts blaring at a higher volume directly after."
"I basically had to watch Stranger Things up in my attic with the windows and doors closed. I was worried the neighbors would think something was wrong or be annoyed if I watched it downstairs in my single family home. It was ridiculous."
"spice things up"
"Love triangles out of no where in a second or third season to 'spice things up' because studio writers are hacks and their idea of relationship drama is 'potential infidelity' at all times. It's the most tired trope on the go**amn planet and the second I see it rear its head I dip right the hell out."
"The whole concept of a love triangle to begin with an incredibly juvenile. Any healthy functioning adult who found themselves in a love triangle would soon choose to find themselves single."
Save your lips...
"When couples in a movie/show have a fight and one of them instantly goes to a friend and end up kissing her/him after talking for 5 minutes. I cringe so hard i turn it off and never watch it again."
"This pissed me off so much in Manifest. Girl is desperate to get back her ex-fiancé, he finally breaks up with his wife to get back with her and she's like 'nah, it's not fair to your wife, let me do this other dude I just met through a calling and be pissed at you for being jealous.' Michaela was the worst and everyone acted as if she were a saint the entire time."
Talk to MeIn Love Flirt GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"Shows where a single polite conversation could fix everything."
We are going overboard with the witty repartee. Talk normal...
Shut UpScared Home Alone GIF by FreeformGiphy
"Annoying main character, especially if it's a kid."
"Kids who have a quippy, sassy retort to everything, and everyone just kind of crumbles before their wit."
"Shows where kids in high school talk like they are 30 years olds who have done everything, been everywhere, know it all and use a ridiculously flowery and extensive vocabulary in every conversation. Like, have any of these writers ever been to high school? Literally no one talks like that. Even worse is when, in addition to this, all the adults talk normal or are just plain stupid, like so weird parallel universe."
"If the movie is too dark. Not graphic, just literally dark. I lose all sense of intensity in dark scenes and I'm not straining my damn eyes trying to figure out what the hell is going on."
"I've seen about 10 percent of all DC movies recently. I've seen all of the individual films in full, just actually saw 10% of each of them."
"Movies in the late 80s had a lot of dark but you could see the depth because of different shooting techniques. Now you cant see crap because its a CGI fest drowned in black color so you can't see crap because you have no depth in a scene. Compare night scenes in dark alleys in 80's movies and movies now. Utter crap show in the new ones."
Pay Attention Storytellers
"Bad editing would be a big one. A lot of modern horror movies can't help but edit the movies like they're trailers, with added noises to scare the audience because they are afraid the script alone isn't enough to keep people watching."
"I remember this is where the first transformers movie lost me. When the transformers are fighting at the end, it's all a big, jumbled mess of metal and I can barely tell what's going on or who is who."
Dramawill devry soap opera GIF by General HospitalGiphy
"When they go straight to relationship drama right away when it wasn't the selling point of the show."
Do better, Hollywood. It's not that hard.
I fear death.
I wake up in cold sweats dreaming about it.
I think about it in my waking hours.
It's an obsession and clearly, I'm not alone.
But there are more preferred ways to exit.
All we can do is hope to be lucky enough to skip the mercilessly awful.
Please just let me go quick and in my sleep.
RedditorCallMehRiverwanted to hear about all the ways none of us what to leave this life.
"What Do You Think Would Be The Worst Death Imaginable?"
My list of the worst deaths is long. My imagination runs amok.
Trappedseason 6 friends GIFGiphy
"For me? Being trapped in a small tube or cave (like the ones you have to wiggle through) and getting stuck to where you can’t move your arms. And all you can do is wait to die. I’m getting chills just thinking about it."
"The more I hear about cavers that get stuck, the more I think that's a crap way to go."
"There’s a great YouTube channel called Ask a Mortician and this was her #1 worse way to die. I can’t remember the exact details or their names, but two well-known divers went into an underwater cave."
"One of them became entangled and died. Years later, his friend dives back down there to try and retrieve his body, the body itself is rotten and his head comes off and the other guy also becomes tangled and dies. Really sad."
A Long Process
"Believed to be in a coma but coherent through the whole 20 year process until they pull the plug."
"Oh man this just reminded me of a story I read on here about a guy who lost the ability to move and speak but was completely conscious. Had to just lay there and be awake but trapped in a useless body. His family thought he was brain dead or something and he couldn’t communicate to them that he was 'all there.' Crazy"
Slow & Steady
"Being slowly impaled by a growing bamboo. It was a form of torture probably used by the japanese during WW2 against Allied prisoners."
"The scariest part is that once you have symptoms, you 100% will die. A 100% mortality rate has to be a psychological torture in itself."
"Not only that, you feel irrational fear. Your brain is literally being eaten apart by the virus and it fu*ks up everything on it. You can't drink water because it hurts you. You feel dizzy, present a fever, excessively salivate, everything hurts and it only gets worse. I'd rather take a bullet and die when the symptoms are still tolerable."
Why can't we all just go engulfed in calm and quiet?
"Some pulpy sci-fi book I read a while back had one of the best deaths of this real piece of crap bad guy. Left to die in a drowning sea lab under the Antarctic ice, he freezes himself in a state of the art suspended animation pod with some kind cold fusion power source that would keep it running for millions of years."
"But he forgot to inject himself with the drug that would put him to sleep. So basically he is in suspended animation at the bottom of the Antarctic ocean while his mind is perfectly awake and conscious in a near unbreakable machine that won't run out of power for millions of years and nobody knows about it."
"As an RN I have always thought that the worst way to die (natural process) is ALS. Lou Gehrig's Disease."
"My mom and grandmother have Huntington's disease, which is essentially ALS, Alzheimer's, and Dementia combined into one really messed up genetic disease. I have a 50% chance of inheriting it and if I hit 40 and there's still no cure I can't promise I'll feel like continuing on with my life because that disease is absolutely freaking miserable."
"The fact your chromosomes can be so destroyed your body basically lost it's genetic code and with it the ability to make any new cells. It's literally a 'dead man walking' and you slowly rot away in agony. Stuff is so unimaginably f**ked up."
"What's also bad about radiation is that it affects your nerves and brain cells last, so you have everything in place to feel all the pain of the rest of your cells being destroyed."
GooNot Listening Season 2 GIF by The Fresh Prince of Bel-AirGiphy
"I want to believe anything that slowly kills you painfully to be the worst. Such as slowly being crushed or something where the pain is beyond compare and yet not enough to throw you into shock or unconsciousness."
"Alternatively, being rapidly crushed into goo would probably be the least painful. I'm talking one of those massive industrial hammers they use for large steel work. Basically smooshed before the nerve signals make it to the brain."
Now I'll never sleep again without nightmares of death.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Most Americans think nothing of their humdrum daily activities or amenities available to them.
However, others with a different perspective might romanticize the things that are otherwise commonplace ideas and concepts for US citizens, like going to a diner or riding the school bus.
One Redditor looked to foreigners to hear of their American desires to respond to the following:
"Non-Americans of Reddit: what is an American thing you have always wanted to try?"
The things depicted in film really captivated foreign audiences.
"To visit a diner like in the movies. In the middle of the night, it’s raining and just a few people there with great music from a jukebox."
Iconic Student Transport
"Ride a yellow school bus even if I'm too old. Growing up I always loved seeing them on TV."
Just Like The Ones We Used To Know
"A white Christmas."
"Living in an Australian state where I've never even seen snow in our winter, let alone experiencing that classic Hallmark movie moment of waking up to a street full of it and sitting around a fireplace while opening gifts/preparing a feast."
"Guess it's not strictly American, but the imagery and trope is something I've only really seen from American Films."
They may be ubiquitous for us, but they sure seem to be novel ideas to foreigners.
Let's Be Frank
"One of the hotdogs from those little street cart things."
"A friend of mine from Indonesia said, 'the food chewer in the sink.'"
"Apple Pie made by white-haired grandma, placed near window, who says 'oh dear...' as I levitate towards it."
"Proper tailgating before a ball game, the kind where there's ribs and stuff."
"Deep fried foods at a state fair. I'm from Scotland and we love to deep fry everything and I wanna know if it's just as good or better."
There are places to see!
Places To See
"America’s greatest invention!"
Backpacking In Nature
"I always wanted to hike The Appalachian Trail if that counts. Or see Yellowstone."
"Being able to start a whole new life 'elsewhere' without having to leave my country and going through an arduous immigration process."
My cousin told me she looks forward to visiting a Trader Joe's someday when she visits America for the first time.
Her bucket list option was hardly surprising. My parents used to bring treats from TJs as a novelty souvenir gift item, and my relatives ate it up. Literally.
Let's face it. The snacks at TJs rocks.
Even store locations in New York City would have ridiculously long lines during busy hours because the West-coast-based grocer was a novelty on the East Coast.