Islam is shrouded in misconception some perpetuated by the media, our own biases, other religions, and many other forces that tell us what to believe. Being Muslim can be difficult, especially at a time when many of the misconceptions about your religious beliefs are very negative.
Here, Muslim people take a moment to share a common misconception about their religion that they want to clear the air about. If you'd like to read more, check out the source link at the end of the article.
Comments may be edited for clarity.
Former Muslim. One thing that I find even some Muslims don't know: Muslims actually believe in the second coming of Christ. He is accepted as a Prophet, who brought a new Gospel, the part that Muslim's disagree with is that he is son of God. Everything else is the same, including that he will come back at the end of times and will lead the righteous to Heaven.
The top five largest Muslim populations are in:
None of these are in the Middle East or Arab. In fact, the Middle East & North Africa account for less than a quarter of all the world's Muslims.
Except for Nigeria, all of them have had a female head of state
In Indonesia, the fastest growing religion is Christianity. In Pakistan, the fastest growing religion is Hinduism. In Nigeria, the fastest growing religion is Folk religion. Map of fastest growing religion in each country, based on PEW
Technically, there are more Muslim-majority countries which impose restrictions on the usage of headscarves, than those which mandate them.
That's not to say that Arabs as an ethnic group are to blame for the problems. This is aimed at addressing the misconception that Muslims = Arab and vice versa.
The 72 virgins in heaven isn't real.
You cannot say ____ will go to hell for ____. Only God knows who goes to heaven and hell. And speaking of God, Allah means God in Arabic. Christians also use the term Allah if they speak Arabic. It's not just a "Muslim" thing.
There is no forced marriage in Islam. But there are Muslims who force a marriage.
This is actually towards Muslims but, guys, you/we can touch dogs. We just gotta wash your hands afterwards....
The biggest misconception is the over-simplification of Islam. It's extraordinarily complex and people seem to think that a 30 minute Google search is enough to understand it.
The verses of the Quran are not to be (all) taken literally. The Quran says it itself: He it is Who has sent down to thee the Book: In it are verses basic or fundamental (of established meaning); they are the foundation of the Book: others are allegorical. But those in whose hearts is perversity follow the part thereof that is allegorical, seeking fitnah (division), and searching for [their own] interpretation, but no one knows its [true] meaning except Allah... " The two types of verses are muhkamaat and mutashabihat. The translations are very subtle and difficult, and still debated. The gist is that some are fundamental and others less so, and that the less fundamental will be used by evil people to justify what they want to.
The Quran is considered the word of God but exactly what that means is not known. Historically it's been a subject of much debate. The spectrum goes from complete and utter literally believing its God's word to thinking of it in a context and not a part of God and therefore, prone to being flawed. Famously the rationalist Mu'tazila school followed this thought. To this day it's still a difficult and subtle question of whether the Quran is a part of creation or creator.
There's a curiosity in the Quran's use of "verse". What is translated as verse (as above) is actually the word for "sign". The Quran uses that same word to refer to the natural world as "signs" too - e.g the changing of the winds, the variation of animals in the world, etc. It explicitly states that the heavens (not Heavens) and the Earth are filled with "signs". This is partly what led to the whole Islamic rationalism thing.
Islamic sexuality is not as rigid as people believe. There's explicit mentions of some people being mukhannathun in the hadith and historical records. They don't fit neatly into gay/bi/trans/non-binary but they are something along those lines (and were particularly commonly singers and entertainers). There's a reference in the Quran to "men who do not possess the desire for women". They were traditionally the matchmakers of society. This is the background to why you had 9th/10th century clerics talking about not blaming "men who are by their nature effeminate" and why Iran funds sex change operations. It's also why the Ottoman Caliphate was among the first-ish to decriminalize homosexuality in 1856, and why Morocco was where Oscar Wilde fled to practise his homosexuality. It's a little more complex than that because "sexuality" back then - including in Greco-Roman times - was defined by an action, not as a trait.
5. Many interpretations do not view hell as permanent. This stems mostly from the most important Islamic phrase that begins (almost) every single Chapter. It's the Islamic "in the name of the father, the son, and the Holy Spirit". It goes In the name of Allah alRahmaan, alRaheem. I've not translated the last two because the common translations are WRONG. They're mistranslated as "most compassionate" and "most merciful" but in English those are synonyms and come from separate roots. In Arabic they are from the same root "r -h-m" and so can't mean the same thing. The correct translation is that they both mean "the all-merciful" but that the first kind of mercy extends to all living things, and the second is specifically in response to actions i.e sin/good. That the all-encompassing mercy is stressed and comes first implies that we will all end up in heaven (along with other verses where it says "My punishment - I afflict with it whom I will, but My mercy encompasses all things."
6. Forced Marriages are completely and unequivocally unIslamic. Anyone who's been to an Islamic marriage ceremony knows this. Islam sees two sides to marriage, the spiritual side and the let's get down to business side. The latter side is why marriage in Islam revolves around the "nikah" aka contract. It's very much down to earth. You set a whole bunch of vows, you have a dowry (male to female) and have to decide on a prenuptial agreement. Some interpret that you are free to put anything you want in your nikah e.g "husband must give wife a foot rub every night" and set your own terms, though the cleric probably would frown on silly additions like the one above. I can imagine much more serious ones about money and children that would be allowed. Anyway, as any contract it must be signed by both THREE TIMES (each) who must also say "qabalit" - I consent - three times in public during the ceremony. The vast majority of (especially stricter) interpretations state the bride must do it in private with just the imam marrying her and two or three witnesses of her choice. If she hesitates or does not say "qabalit" even once - it is not valid and the imam will not perform the ceremony. Even stricter interpretations put strict rules on who can be the witness. Most agree that the groom cannot be one. Many extend this to her parents. Forced marriages are a cultural stain but not Islamic in the slightest.
In summary, it's simply not something a 30 minute Google search will teach you. This statement could just as well be made about anything and I wish people understood this.
A lot of things in Islam are not strictly black and white. I like to imagine some areas, such as the core beliefs of Islam, being rigid (believe in Allah, His Messengers, His Books, His Angels, the Destiny, etc) and unchangeable. But as you extend from that, its depends on the person, and the situation.
Situations might include everyday life-related or sharia related (before anybody starts crucifying me for writing sharia - I mean the religious code/law that is abided, which in daily life does not involve things like killing nor stoning people).
Oh my God, so many things. I'm sure a lot of them have already been addressed by others, but they merit repetition.
Allah is the same as the Judeo-Christian God, not some other deity. Arab Christians worship Allah. On a similar note, Muslims revere Jesus Christ as not only one of the greatest prophets, but as the Messiah, and we believe in the second coming. When it comes to Jesus, we are functionally the middle ground between Christians and Jews, affirming his status as the messiah, but rejecting that he is divine. I should probably add that we believe in pretty much all the Judeo-Christian Prophets from Abraham to Noah to Moses.
Judaism and Islam are so incredibly similar, when you sit down and compare them, its often just the words that are different. And even then, they're often not that different.
No, Muslims are not commanded to kill all infidels. As a matter of fact, the Qu'ran strictly forbids killing someone just because they practice a different religion, and specifically notes that Christians and Jews are "People of the Book"; those who received the revelations of God before Islam. While we believe that the Bible has endured changed, we believe that it was once, like the Qu'ran, the direct word of God.
You are not going to send me to hell by shooting me with a bullet dipped in pig blood. I honestly don't now where this came from, but the idea that getting killed in a particular way is a sin is laughable.
5. I don't want to impose Sharia on anybody. This stems from a fundamental misunderstanding of what Sharia is. It is religious law synthesized from the Qu'ran, so by following the Sharia, you are following the tenets of Islam. Some countries have adopted "Sharia legal systems" and many of the laws contained have no basis in Islam. Furthermore, Sharia commands Muslims to obey the laws of the land in which they are living, provided they don't directly conflict with the core of the religion.
6. The Qu'ran does not command that women wear Hijab or Niqab. It merely says that both genders should be modest in how they dress. This should be an individual choice, depending on what you believe to be modest.
7. The whole 72 virgins thing. I have no idea where that comes from.
8. The Qu'ran does not generally command the killing of apostates. It would in fact, be counter-productive, since hypocrisy is one of the greatest sins in Islam. The idea that you must remain a Muslim or die would just encourage you to pretend to believe, which is pointless, since God knows and sees all.
9. Muslims speak a lot of different languages, not just Arabic. Most Muslims do not in fact speak Arabic. While we are encouraged to learn to read Arabic since it is the language of the Qu'ran, most don't speak it, and many cannot read it.
10. All Muslims are not the same. While we do generally adhere to the same basic texts, there are a wide range of different views, just like any other religion. While some things are foundational, and not really up for debate, there's a lot of stuff that is, so there are a range of views.
There's probably a lot more I could mention, but this is already long, so I'll stop here. Baby steps.
Former Muslim here. One thing that nobody realizes, Muslim or not, is that Muslims think that Adam was a Prophet and Christians & Jews do not. They simply view him as the first human.
Whoever tries to explain Islam as either a religion of pure peace or pure evil is doing a disservice. Islam is the word of God Himself, as per our belief. Therefore we consider it to be inherently good overall. But since it's the word of God, it's also pragmatic. It accepts that resorting to war is a natural human tendency and will happen one way or the other, so rather than having an unrealistic ban on war and getting mowed down by your enemies, Islam instead gives you a code of war. What to do, what not to do. Kill enemies, but don't who surrender. Treat them with kindness even after you have captured them. Don't kill women and children. Hell, don't even kill people who made it to the battle field but decided not to fight from there, etc.
So yes, it does tell us to fight in certain context, but it also gives us the rules of engagement. Most people misconstrue that part.
We dont worship Muhammed. We worship God alone.
We believe in all prophets including Jesus, Moses, Abraham, Isaac and so on.
Islam doesn't command you to kill infidels or anyone period. These are cherry picked verses that explain a historical battle, not a command.
We are not allowed to forcefully convert anyone.
We do not believe in "genital mutilation." Circumcision is a recommend thing which is common with Christians, Jews and atheists alike. Its not about mutilating the body, but about cleanliness. Women do not have to have any sort of procedure done.
Islam is the 2nd biggest religion in the world and soon to be the biggest at the current rate. Muslims are all over the world, and there are many white Muslims from nations like Turkey, Algeria, Bosnia, Montenegro, and many more.
We do not believe in owning slaves, and definitely not the type of slavery during America's early years. Historically there were slaves during a much earlier age period which is not like the idea of the slavery we learn in school but rather an exchange of services for shelter, food and protection. We do not currently live in a time where it's ideal and hence its no longer seen.
Here are a few things that are actually misconceptions:
-Female genital mutilation is not a Muslim problem. It's done in some areas that happen to be Muslim, and some that aren't Muslim. But it's not a Muslim tradition in origin, and it's not done in some of the most conservative societies like Saudi Arabia and Iran.
-The region with the most Muslims in the world is actually South Asia (Pakistan, India, Indonesia, etc.). The reason why it's so linked to the middle east and North Africa is because that's the area that was under the caliphate, and so it was ruled by Islamic theocracy.
No longer practicing, have since become an Atheist, but there's a lot of stuff that circulates in the media about how halal food is slaughtered, how it's barbaric and such. For starters, the livestock slaughtered for proper halal meat is free range. It's never raised in batteries and is given a healthy diet and in general, raised with great care.
The actual slaughter of the animal is performed with a swift slice with a sharp knife. This is to ensure that death is as swift as possible and I believe it also cuts off a lot of the livestock's nerves so if it does take any time to die, death is relatively painless. This is how proper halal meat is made. While there are 'halal' farmers who don't follow the steps to the letter, these meats aren't truly considered halal. It's just lazy. And when the ritual is performed correctly, is probably a lot less stressful and painful for the animal involved than going to a slaughter house to get a bolt fired into it's skull before being electrocuted.
As well as this, in certain situations there are instances where muslims can have meat that isn't halal as part of their diet. If you live in an area where halal is not readily accessible, you can eat other meats as part of your regular diet.
As a Muslim woman:
1/- I have dreams and ambitions, I study hard, I want to be cultivated, I read a lot (Oscar Wilde, Agatha Christie, Jane Austen...), I drive and I workout
2/- I love and want to be loved. I AM A women too. I want flowers, and poems and chocolate and wild surprises and romantic date nights...I have feelings to, and I want whoever my partner is to love me just like Noah loved Allie in The Notebook.
3/- True muslims have stopped forcing marriage on their daughters since the era of Muhammed pbuh, literally every single girl I know married the man she wanted to marry, sometimes their parents wouldn't even agree but they would do it anyway...And their parents would still be there for the wedding, because they understand it's a personal choice.
4/- Nobody touches our genitals or cuts anything off...Seriously, what the heck is up with that?
5/- I have a sense of fashion. I like make-up and nice clothes, I wear shorts and sexy bras, strapless dresses and every single thing any other woman would wear...Just not everybody has to see it.
6/- If you walk past us in a bikini, we don't judge. 99% of the time a muslim woman is staring at a non-muslim woman is because she's wondering about what skin routine she has, or what lipstick she's using....Uh, except if you're 100% naked, I would probably be like wtf? Cause I really don't understand people who do that.
7/- If you're non-Muslim, get to know us before you judge.
I am an American-Pakistani Muslim woman who wears the hijab. I did not wear it when I lived in Pakistan, rather started when I moved to the US. I am not forced to wear it.
Fatwa does not mean death sentence. It means a legal opinion expressed by a prominent religious scholar about how Islamic laws apply to a certain situation. For example, if a new species of fish enter the market, an observant Muslim may inquire a religious scholar as to whether he trusts whether this species is halal (OK to eat) or haram (forbidden to eat). The scholar would then research about the fish and compare it against religious laws about food and issue a fatwa saying whether he believes this specific fish is halal or haram. That's all fatwa is.
The problem is that most non-Muslims have heard of exactly one fatwa ever, and thus believe that is what fatwa is. In reality, that does not even represent the minority of fatwas. That was a fringe case even then and definitely since.
Halal meat isn't a crueller way to get meat, it is, in fact, a lot more merciful, and designed to provide the safest cleanest meat possible while causing the animal as little pain as possible. Heck, it's a sin to let the animal see the knife first and the animal has to have been properly fed and taken care of to be considered halal.
I hate saying that I used to be Muslim because I've pretty much been told by my constituents that Islam is the religion of destruction and sheep sex so I would rather not associate with it. However, it points out a bigger issue that people cannot be comfortable in their own skin without being vilified. Now I know some of you may be saying "Oh you're blowing it out of proportion."
I can't post pictures of myself in my cultural garb on social media because it puts me in this box. A box that I would love to be in, but honestly I'm much happier by not even saying I'm muslim to begin with. That's how bad it is. I tell people I'm half Indian and half Pakistani and that's it. I usually don't touch religion since it's such a hot button issue.
"Muslims are ignorant and believe that women shouldn't be able to drive "ad infinitum
When it's kind of the opposite. Muslims hold a similar "Storyline" to the other main religions with modifications here and there. Because of this we have to think differently about our origins. I personally never took religion too seriously but because Islam's viewpoints were different than others I got to have a more objective viewpoint of religion and therefore I feel as if I'm more tolerant than my peers.
They have more or less stayed in their religions that are all highly praised. Whereas Islam is CONSTANTLY under scrutiny and it forces people who are believers to always question their faith and their morals.
Overall, I wouldn't say I'm muslim in a religious sense. However the morals, such as the 5 pillars of Islam were instrumental in my personal development. I know I'm just one voice but I talk to so many other Muslims in my place and they feel the same. Honestly, we just want people to listen to us for once instead of making us into a 5 minute piece on the nightly news and moving on to hydrogenated soy bean milk.
Muslim is a very diverse term, my mosque is filled with people from different backgrounds and cultures. The main thing we have in common is our religion.
One misconception is that there is some real, true form of Islam.
Right wing bigots like to say that moderates don't exist and the only real Islam is the hard core Saudi style.
Moderates like to say the Wahhabi extremists are not the real Islam.
Wahabbi fundamentalists don't think you're a muslim unless you toe their extremist line.
And that's just levels of severity within one strain.
You also have splits in Islam according to history and doctrine so there are groups like Sunnis, Shias, Ahmadiyas, Ishmailis etc who call each other heretics and say only they follow the truth.
When Someone like Obama or Trump starts going on about real Islam they MISS THE POINT.
You can't deal with some theoretical real Islam that hold to the original teachings of the prophet (be they peaceful and tolerant or extreme and hateful)
You can only deal with Islam as it exists in the wild. And the Islam in the wild is not the demon the neoNazis think it is and it's not the blameless bastion of feminism and peace the Democrats want you to think it is.
It's a religion like any other with lots of problems in doctrine and practice that conflict with secular humanist values but also which promotes good values like charity and brotherhood and humility.
Islam is what it is on the ground. Not simply what the books say. Or what we wish it was.
3 Things from a moderate muslim guy born in Texas, raised in California... 1) We aren't some weird ritualistic medieval society or anything, at least me and every friend I have who's muslim in the states aren't. Most of us don't talk about our religion too often, we just kind of hang, watch Game of Thrones (or insert your favorite tv show) and go to mosque occasionally. There are very few differences, and I can't stress that ENOUGH, with every other religion. It tends to feel like people have this view that I and my other Muslim friends have these weird rituals we perform every night away from the public eye. I guess we pray a lot, but really that's about it and even then some of us miss those when we have really difficult schedules
2) When we eat Pork... nothing happens it's just really bad. Seriously I get asked this on the daily or whenever me and a few friends order a pizza.
"Hey you can't eat like, pork right?" "Right" "Well what happens if you do?" "Lightning strikes me and I turn into Charlize Theron." "Heck, really?" "No dude, I just feel guilty for a few hours."
It's haram or whatever, yeah, and I don't eat pork-- but I'm not gonna explode unless you put dynamite in the darn thing. 3) Allah and God are the same. Allah is just the Arabic word for God. It's not some separate entity. Some people may not believe that, but we're like the Return of the Jedi to Judaism and Christianity's Star Wars and Empire. The characters are pretty much the same, even if there are slight differences.
But that's the best way I can explain things.
Thanks for reading!
Insults come in many forms, most of them involving swear words or similar affronts. However, there is something to be said for a truly cutting remark made without the use of such language.
Some favorites are always old Victorian slang and insults. They just hit different. Something about telling an a-hole “you sir are an unlicked cub and your wife a sausage wallet" is just more satisfying. Although we do not recommend going around insulting people, the list of swear-free insults below will certainly get a chuckle.
Redditor Beadiest_Cape wanted to hear the best cuss free insults out there and asked:
“What's the best insult you've heard without swearing?"
“After getting a compliment on his assignment, A buddy of mine leaned back in his chair and told our college professor, ‘I'm not as dumb as I look.’ To which he leaned forward on his podium and said, ‘You couldnt be.’” dusty_boots
“…and may God have mercy on your soul.”
“One of the best is from Billy Madison, ‘What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.’” maswriter
You should apologize…
“You’re not the dumbest person in the world, but you'd better hope they don’t die.” WhatThatBoiDoin
“Whenever this question is posted, my favorite is usually along the lines of: ‘There's a tree somewhere in the Amazon jungle with sole purpose of producing oxygen you breathe. You should go find that tree and apologize." all_worth
How low can they go?
“The bar was on the ground and you grabbed a shovel” BlckAlchmst
“That reminds me of one comment i read saying: ‘the bar was so low it was practically a tripping hazard in hell, yet here you are dancing limbo with the devil’.” give_it_a_vodkashotSeries 2 Limbo GIF by BBC ThreeGiphy
"Having been born an infant, and realizing he quite liked it, he decided to stay one forever." overt-wan-kenobert
“From Casablanca: ‘You probably think pretty poorly of me don't you?’”
"’I would if I gave you any thought’" koiven
These teachers got clap backs for days…
“I had a teacher tell some kid ‘Nothing you have to say is of any consequence...to anyone.’ He was an odd teacher who kinda talked like that, but it was his version of savage. The room lost its sh*t in unison.” glib_battling
“I had a guy sit behind me in English class let out of fart that reverberated off the wooden seat. The whole class heard it. The teacher said ‘that's the most intelligent thing you've said all year’. Priceless” melbers22
“I was at a karaoke 50th the other night and this one caught my eye. Thankfully I wasn't drunk enough to sing it. But I love this song for its sick burn. Poor old Edie. Bob really gave it to her that time.” crankenfranken
Down the Monty Python rabbit hole…
“Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt... of elderberries!” UpTwoDownOne
“Elderberries were the cheap replacement for grapes in making wine. That is basically ‘your father is a drunk and can't afford the good stuff’.” ukezi
“And hamsters have sex all the time with no regard for monogamy.” draconum_ggg
“So, ‘Your mother is being cheated on but is also a w*ore and you father is a drunk who is also broke’.” EmpanadaDeMayonesa2
“‘My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a...middle.’ --Mal Reynolds”
"’It's not that I hate you, exactly; it's just that any admiration I have for you is well under control.’” FlourChild1026
Shakespeare master of insults…
“Straight from Shakespeare ‘I wish we could become better strangers’.” Dundeklil
“Also from Shakespeare: (Fallstaff, after Bardolf calls him fat) ‘Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life.’” driving_andflying
Excuse us while we go grab the burn cream.
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Aging is a sneaky process. Most of us don't realize how old we've gotten until we find we are no longer able to do things the way we used to with ease when we were younger.
Sure, it's depressing, but you know what? Aging happens to all of us, and no one is getting out of here alive.
"What gets worse with age?"
Physical consequences of aging is one of the cruelest things in life.
Watch Your Hyde
"Your skin. Take care of it. Skin cancer sucks."
What The Body Does With Food
"Every meal is followed by a poop."
"Bending over to pick a quarter off the ground. Hurts your back, gut and your fingers don't work. That's why there is change all over my floor. ;)"
After A Wild Night
"Hangovers for sure."
"At 18 I could go heavily drink and feel damn near 100% the next day. Now I get horrid mental and physical effects. Probably should quit drinking all together."
When our senses gradually start to fail us, it's yet another reminder of our brief mortality.
"Make sure you get your eye dilated every year and check for cataracts."
"My hearing is on the decline. I don't think it'll go completely, but I did get hearing aids last year."
The degeneration of certain abilities as we get older is too much to bear.
Staying Above Water
"My ability to cope. I'm just burnt out all the time."
"I feel the same. Aside from my family and friends, I have no care for anyone or anything anymore. Nothing phases me but that's not a good thing IMO. I feel very apathetic towards everything, I'm tired all the time and just want to lay down."
"The ability to sleep through the night."
"Used to be a world champion sleeper and now 5-6 straight hours is huge. Pretty much wide awake every night at 3am."
Putting Up With People
"Humanity.... The older I get the less I want to deal with people."
"Friendship - making new friends after your 20s becomes a big struggle, and the newer friendships just aren't the same. You can literally run out of 'lifelong friends' due to death, disease, people growing apart, etc."
I found as I'm getting older my patience and tolerance for certain things have gotten worse.
Waiting in line at the grocery store while someone fumbles with their payment option, or getting antsy when the food I ordered at the restaurant is taking way too long are things that never bothered me ten years ago.
I"m not curmudgeonly by any means, at least not yet. Besides, I'm not that old.
But to all the cranky elders I grew up with who complained about poor service or lack of efficiency, I get it now, and I hear you.
It's never easy to leave home.
Redditors that were kicked out before or at 18, what happened to your relationship with your parents afterwards?
Things outside your control, like divorce, shouldn't be the child's concern. If the parents don't handle things properly then unfortunately it ends up falling on the kid, forcing them to make the tough choice.
Putting Your Problems On Others
"Parents kicked me out when they got divorced and "couldn't afford to take care of me anymore."
"Struggled for a while but doing ok now. Don't talk to either of my parents and that seems to have improved my life quite a bit."
Suffering The Consequences
"My parents divorced when I was 12, dad had primary custody. He got a new girlfriend who hated me and my brother when I was about 16. My only request was they wait til I left for college to get married. He dumped me and everything that was mine in his house on my estranged mother's front lawn, jumped back in the car, and drove off a full two months before school started. They were married by August (on my mother's birthday)."
"I moved out of my mom's place as soon as I made a friend in the new city 500 miles from where I grew up using $400 a month he gave me for expenses to keep him from feeling too guilty about it (my mom's alimony payments expired right around the same time I left, so he just gave it to me instead of her, he did the same thing when he forced my brother out after I graduated. I joke when he's old I'll find him a nursing home that costs $400 a month so see can see what that buys you.)"
"I begged to be allowed to come back for holidays every year for a decade. I had to listen to my dad call me every holiday with his new wife's kids clearly there in the background and when I asked about it he would just sigh. One time he had me call his wife to ask her and she just spent 5 minutes cursing at me and telling me I was awful. I was maybe 19 and had never had any real trouble, legally, academically, or socially. I spent summers on my friends couches so I could go back to see them at least. He would try to meet up with me, but I was just so angry and hurt I usually didn't tell him I was in town."
"He is still shocked I don't want anything to do with him now that I'm older. He still thinks I deserve everything I got, which I know because it was the last thing I ever let him say to me before calling it officially done. He won't be at my wedding. He won't ever know my husband or my family. I'm done."
"Did fix my relationship with my mom eventually though. She was actually sorry for the time we missed and glad to have me back in her life. I'm also still tight with my brother."
Growing To Understand The Decision
"I was kind of a b-tch as a teenager, moved out at 17 after she gave me an ultimatum, didn't talk to my mom for three-ish years, then only on holidays. Then I moved back in with her for 6 months, which was not fun as someone 21 years old who had been on their own for 5 years prior."
"I did a lot of work in therapy and we repaired our relationship. She's now one of my best friends, we live about ten minutes apart, and I go over just to chat a few times a week."
"I hated her at the time, but I have grown to understand that she was trying to do the best with what she had. Also, I was a very difficult child."
You know what's a perfectly reasonable solution to not having a home to live in?The military, apparently.
(Only join if you feel that it's right for you. Don't let anyone make you join.)
Military Or Bust
"Six months before I was 18 my grandmother was adamant that she was going to take me to enlist in the military and I said no, so she wanted me out at 18. I arranged to move in with my gf."
"By the time of moving day, my grandmother was acting like our spat never happened- "keep in touch" "don't be a stranger" "dont burn any bridges". I only really interacted with her at family gatherings after that, and I have her on Facebook so she can keep up-to-date without me actively taking to her."
No, Really. Military Or Bust.
"My mom always said that "had to be out" at 18 once I graduated. I honestly took this to heart. I didn't have a bad relationship with my parents, but I was also left to raise myself most of the time."
"I graduated at the beginning of my senior year, was 18, and moved the f-ck right out, joined the military shortly thereafter. My mom had a fit. I thought this was what she wanted."
"I'm "OK" with my folks, but I basically left for 5 years and stopped calling. Still very much independent, very successful, and have very little of what is a relationship with them. I didn't have role models or people to guide me. I'm a parent in my 30s and I'm trying to unf-ck everything and treat my child like she should be treated, lots of attention and love. I'm salty about the way I was raised; I often upset at them. The more I grow, the more distance I out between myself and my parents."
"I'll be sure go guide my kid and not make her leave home asap."
A Fizzled Relationship
"I was 17 when my mom and I had a huge fight. She said, "If you walk out the door, don't bother coming back" - one of those empty threats. Of course she was surprised when I packed some bags and took off. I stayed with a guy that I had been seeing for a couple of months."
"That relationship fizzled out fast and I wound up coming back home. Learned fast that he was a drug user. He was also staying at his brother's house and said it was cool that I was there. But then the brother announced he was coming home - and that was it for me."
"Took a long time to patch things up with my mom. We started getting along better later in my life. It took a long time to get there though. My dad and I always got along well."
Then there's these situations, far outside the reasonable control of any child. Abuse and divorce are situations which shouldn't be placed at the feet of someone under 18, but this is how it goes sometimes.
Burning That Trust
"It's a long, ugly story. But yes, it did change everything. I still harbor resentment toward my mom for caring more about getting my stepdad out of jail than making sure I was OK or taking me to the hospital. I'll never stop loving my mom and I know she loved me back, but it was clear that her men sat higher on her priority list than I did. I was 16, he didn't even have a legal right to kick me out in the first place."
"And I obviously never trusted my stepdad again. I haven't talked to him since my mom died in 2010 and I hope I never see him again. I couldn't care less about how his life is going, I have more important things to focus on."
Lose A Key? Get Out.
"When I was 16 my mom invited her alcoholic boyfriend to move in with us. He hid his drinking quite well, and he hid the violent outbursts he had towards me even better. I tried talking to my mother and grandmother about it and they accused me of lying because I "just didn't like him". The whole thing snowballed and, because my dad wasn't talking to me or my sibling at the time (a key fell out of my pocket before I left for school, got locked out of the house for a couple hours. Apparently that was the worst thing ever and justified a massive argument and falling out), I ended up on a bus to a different city at 2am to live with a friend whose dad owned a roofing business.
Spent a few months hating every second of it and trying to make it on my own. Eventually, my mom's boyfriend started to go after my sibling, and it all ended when he threw a glass of water at them (glass included) in front of my mom. I was able to go back home, but things were never the same and I fell into a deep depression and it left me with some trust issues, especially with people around the age I am now. It also left me with an odd aversion to physical labour"
"A lot more has happened since then, despite repeated attempts to reconcile our relationships. I ultimately decided that I can't be around them, and that it's best to keep my distance from family. I talk to my parents once a year, on Boxing Day, and that's all the time and attention I'm willing to give to them"
Getting Out Of The House No Matter What
"I grew up in an extremely abusive household. Every category of abuse you can imagine."
"When I was 16 I was given a choice to either leave or go to foster care, so I packed what little I had and moved to another state. That was nearly 12 years ago."
"My relationship with my parents is strained at best, I rarely speak with either of them any more and I plan to change my legal full name and leave the country, so that I am not associated with them in any way, shape or form."
Keep your head on your shoulders. Have a plan. If it feels like you're set to be kicked out or, even worse, forced to leave for your own safety, start preparing.
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Like it or not, we've all met a liar or two. Some lies aren't so obvious either, and if the individual has a habit of lying regularly, then that's a sign that they could have a larger problem. Some lies are more innocent––we know those as "little white lies"––and typically don't harm anyone.
And some lies are just obvious and absurd––even entertaining. Why do people say these things? In truth (ha), the reasons might be complicated and the individual might not even be aware. We heard all about them after Redditor Mobile_Sturgeon asked the online community,
"What was the most obvious lie you've ever heard?"
"My friend told us..."
"My friend told us he was born mid-flight, and that it was on the exact border between Scotland and the USA, so he was half American, half Scottish."
This person has never looked at a map, have they?
"He then showed me..."
"My regular job is as a club promoter, I just work here [crappy retail franchise] for fun money." He then showed me a generic picture of a Ferrari and said that was his car.
Bonus lie, he told everyone he was 28 when he was clearly in his mid to late 40s."
"I stopped believing it..."
"My grandma got me to eat bread crusts when I was a toddler by telling me they're made of broccoli and cauliflower. I stopped believing it in a few months but it worked."
Ha! The creative little white lies that grandparents make up!
"My husband forgot..."
"My husband forgot to wake me up after promising me that he would. When I woke and realised that I may get late, I was pissed and asked him why he didn't wake me up as he'd promised, he told me that I was looking so cute, sleeping, that he didn't want to disturb me.
Well, after six years of togetherness, that is so obvious a cover-up for having forgotten something that I broke out laughing."
Oh, they totally forgot. But it sounds like you two are very much in love, so that's great!
"Aside from this bizarre quirk..."
"A guy at my local pub claimed to have written just about every popular song you could name, and when called out would get mad and come up with elaborate stories to explain how, for example, he had written "Stairway to Heaven" when he was 10 years old and been ripped off by Led Zeppelin.
Aside from this bizarre quirk, he seemed totally normal. Had a proper job and everything."
You meet some odd characters in pubs, but they're typically not hurting anyone, so leave it be.
"A friend of mine..."
"A friend of mine once told me a great story about something funny they did. It was hilarious.
Problem was, it was MY story. I had told it to him six months before. He told me the whole thing almost verbatim, only he had inserted himself where I had been in the story. I think that's my favorite."
"I had an employee..."
"I had an employee who was 45 minutes late to work and he told me with a straight face that he had to wait for a family of ducks to cross the road, and that's why he was late."
You have to admire his chutzpah, don't you? I cracked up at this.
"A friend I had in high school..."
"A friend I had in high school wanted me to come with her to Texas to visit her brother. Presumably, he was in a gang and had a million guns and robbed banks all the time. As if I've never seen a Western before.
Also she's adopted. She has a foster sister, a foster mom, and a pet dog named Snowball. I've been to her house. She has no brother."
"A girl I went to high school with..."
"A girl I went to high school with was neurotic about grades and rankings, etc. During the college application process, she was rejected from a school that accepted one of my close friends. We were discussing the school after class one day and this girl said 'Yeah, they rejected me but sent a letter saying they did it because I should go somewhere better given how strong my scores and grades are.'
That was very nice of them!"
Very nice of them, indeed! You'd think they'd be tripping all over themselves to have her!
"The more he spoke..."
"A security guard that works at a grocery store I once worked at said that he had been in Iceland. I asked him about the penguins he saw. He blabbed on about species of penguins that he created on the spot and that he was stationed there for military purposes. The more he spoke, the more the lie snowballed."
Pathological liars can benefit from psychotherapy, which can pose its own challenges because the liar isn't in control of their lying and could begin lying to their therapist.
"Treatment will depend on what the person needs and what they respond to during therapy sessions," as noted by WebMD. "Finding a qualified, experienced therapist who can work with someone over the long term is the key to managing the condition.
If you or a loved one needs help, seek help today.
Have stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below.
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