Well, this is a little embarrassing.
1. My cat was not being her usual playful self. She was just lying around, and I thought her nips were a tad bigger. So I rushed her to the vet... And I got scared when I heard the vet saying "Uh-oh."
Turns out that she just had a case of kittens-in-her-uterus-itis. And because she was an indoor cat, terrified of going outside, we know who was the culprit: My mother's 6 or 7-month-old kitten. We thought he was still too young to be a father! At least they were fantastic parents, the kittens were born healthy and strong and Taro (the dad) got snipped 4 days before birth, so no more being a teenage dad.
2. My snake had a large lump in his stomach and I took him into the vet because I was afraid he had a tumour or had eaten something too large to ingest. The vet took his x-rays and we were shocked to see that it was actually just constipation. Poor little guy!
Anonymous
3. My 8lb Maltese, Wilson, stopped going out the dog door. He would stand in front of it and whine until I opened the door for him to go out. I was worried something on his face hurt- since he has to use his little snout to push through the door, or maybe his leg was hurting, or he had a UTI. So I took him to the vet, she checked him for everything- no infection, his teeth were fine, no sinus infection, no signs of a hurt leg. When I mentioned that for the first 10 years of his life we lived in Canada, and didn't have a doggy door, but he had picked it up pretty quick when we moved to Texas. She just looked at me and said "Yeah, I think he is older and a bit stubborn, and he has decided he just doesn't want to do it anymore". I think she is right, because I KNOW he is going out when I am not home, and if I leave him out longer than he wants, he comes in on his own. So I took him to the vet and paid for blood work and a few other things because he is a spoiled stubborn brat.
4. My boyfriend and I were sitting on the floor watching our pet rats run around. As my boyfriend put his hand down on the floor to stand up, our crazy, hyper Flower rat ran straight under his hand. He accidentally (Continued)
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squished her back leg. That led to a vet visit, gassing Flower so she would lie still for the x-ray, confirmed broken ankle, painkillers, anti-biotics and bed rest. Did I mention she's incredibly hyper? The bed-rest did not go down well..... Flower is now back to her usual bouncy self and you wouldn't know she ever broke her leg unless you look closely at her wonky foot. The silly rat has not learned her lesson and still tries to dash under human hands and feet.
5. My basset hound, Lucy, ate about 3/4 of a chocolate cake. We'd left it on the counter overnight, thinking it was pushed far enough back. It was a LARGE cake with only about 4 or 5 pieces gone. When we came down in the morning, Lucy had somehow gotten to the cake & eaten as much of it as she could. Then she pooped & threw up all over the kitchen. We took her to the vet & she ended up having pancreatitis. She had to stay overnight for 2 nights.
This dog also ate a bonsai Christmas tree...
6. My cat killed a bat. My family only let her out on our second story deck, and we accidentally left her out all night once. The next morning she presented us with a bat corpse, and we had to take her in to get a rabies shot and get tested.
She hadn't been vaccinated in years and thankfully did not get rabies, and the vet said Panther must have been one hell of a hunter for being able to take a perfectly healthy bat right out of the sky.
7. My boxer ATE a rag before. A dirty rag, that had been soaked in bleach for cleaning. We didn't recognize it at first. He started gagging and throwing up later. He puked up the rag on our carpet at home and we thought it was his intestines coming out. Packed everything, ran to the vet, many hours later returned home with a health A-OK pupper... and a nice large white bleached out spot on our carpet. At the time the carpet was a dark green. There's no hiding that.
8. My dumb dog got a stick wedged against the roof of his mouth, but didn't act like anything was wrong for an entire week. When I realized it was there he wouldn't let me touch it, so I had to take him in to (Continued)
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get it pried out and check for infection. That stick was one of the worst smells to ever grace my nostrils.
9. My father's cat started screaming and wouldn't stop - my mother phoned me to tell me the cat was probably having a heart attack or something, so I drove over, picked them both up, and drove both the screaming cat and my screaming mother to the emergency 24 hour vet, barely avoiding a speeding ticket. They rushed him in and put him on oxygen.
Turned out the cat was having a panic attack. Which cost us $1,800.
Deep breath. A panic attack. $1,800. Good thing we all loved that bloody animal... or we'd have given him something to panic about!
10. My idiot cat fell out of the window of an old second story apartment - twice. Turns out the moron likes leaning on the screen of open windows and doesn't seem to get the concept of gravity. Luckily the screens of every other place we've lived since have been much stronger, because my little genius still does it.
(He's fine, btw. Might've done a little damage the second time, but not enough to stop him from leaping around to every conceivable surface.)
11. My middle cat stole and ate a whole steak when my back was turned. (Yes, a whole steak. She has serious middle child syndrome.) She was lethargic for two days before I finally thought maybe she wasn't just in a food coma, and took her to the vets.
The vet did loads of tests, shaved a hella cool patch in her neck, then said she was fine! When my boyfriend went to pick her up, she'd tortured the nurses so much they made him go into the back room to get her. He said she'd never looked so pleased to see him!
It cost me 360, two weeks after Christmas, but at least she got a tendy hipster haircut that she sported proudly for a couple of months!
12. I had to take my rabbit to the out of hours vet because she wasn't eating, just as the vet called us into the room she actually (Continued)
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started munching on the hay in her carrier. It cost 120 to tell the vet my rabbit is eating again.
13. I was peeing with the door open (dude) and my bunny came hopping in the room. I said hello and such. Bunny looked at my pee stream and before i knew it she jumped into the toilet bowl. Such horror as she was sitting in there chest deep in gross toilet pee water and getting splattered with fresh pee still as i didnt have enough time to stop the hose without hitting her stupid dumb face with my stupid dumb wiener pee.
14. I use to have this Jack Russel named Kelsie. Most bad ass dog on the planet. Herded horses into stables for my aunt, once had a 3 day battle with the BIGGEST POSSUM YOU HAVE EVER SEEN and came out bloodied and victorious. And then there was the great fire of '97. My aunt's house caught fire one evening and we ran over as soon as we heard, bringing Kelsie with us of course. We got there right as the fire department was hooking up their hose. Now I'm sure many of you out there have dogs who love playing with the hose water. Something about the pressured water comin out just drives 'em nuts. And Kelsie isn't your average terrier, he's got balls of steel.
So when the firemen unleashed the geyser from the hose there was no force on Earth or otherwise which could hold him. He tore off and leaping went face first, teeth bared, into this super stream of water, and was subsequently blown against the wall of the house with a thud similar to Atlas adjusting his scrotum. Everyone was terrified, some people laughing. But then something no one expected happened. Out of the bushes came Kelsie, barking as enthusiastically as ever, and jumped back into the stream. As you can imagine, the result was identical. Kelsie's spirit was unbreakable, however. He managed SIX more attacks on his liquid enemy before we were able to corral him. The next day at the vet his x ray showed 2 fractured ribs and some minor internal bleeding, but you would never have guessed it from his disposition. I played with that dog and the hose every day for 5 more years.
15. I came home from work and my lab/shepherd had eaten an entire dura flame log. Had to take to the vet to induce vomiting. Cost $108. Stupid dog.
16. Vet here. One time a lady brought her dog in, thing was pooping/pissing blood, was lethargic, screamed when you touched it's stomach, etc. She said this had started about a day ago and had swiftly gotten worse.
After a quick talk about the dogs daily routines we were shocked to learn that (Continued)
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since SHE takes an aspirin a day for HER heart and well being, she decided that the dog should do the same. This was not a large dog, an aspirin a day was at least 4-6x the maximum dose for a dog of that size, and no dog of any size should be on aspirin for more than 1-2 weeks (and vets very,very rarely ok aspirin use for dogs anyway.) This had been going on for months. The poor dog's liver and kidneys were completely shot and it's other systems were in cascading failure. Dog had to be put down.
17. (Friend is a vet not me) Had a guy ask for an autopsy. Weird but whatever they can try and find cause of death. Guy goes to his car and brings back an urn of ashes.
Had a very awkward conversion explaining you can't learn anything from ashes.
As soon as he was outside one of the techs chimed in "it looked to me like the dog burned to death"
18. A surprising amount of owners assumed all medication was administered rectally.
Also, one of the people we had in said, "My cat can read my thoughts and I don't want her to know if she is sick so please don't say anything during the exam. Pretend we are old pals and I will call you later"
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19. I worked for a vet. A lady came in with a beautiful silver persian cat. She wanted it put down because it didn't match her new furniture. The vet offered to find her a new home. Which he thankfully did.
20. My boy's tail was just hanging there limp and lifeless. Took him to the vet and they said he had strained his tail muscles so couldn't move it. There is nothing sadder than a labrador that can't wag its tail, fortunately he's back to his waggly self now.
21. One time I brought my dog into the vet because she was doing this weird thing where she would sit outside the door to our bedroom, put her paw between her back legs, and rattle around on the floor for like 30 minutes. We were concerned that she had worms or maybe a rash that we somehow couldn't see that was irritating her. The following was the conversation:
Vet: So, your dog is putting it's paw between it's legs and doing what?
Me: Like, moving it around.
Vet: Like rubbing it's genital area.
Me: Yeah, exactly. I figured maybe it was worms or something?
Vet: I hate to be the one to tell you this, but your dog is masturbating.
Me: What? Do dogs even do that?
Vet: Yes, many dogs do.
Me: But she's just watching us in bed at night.
Vet: I hate to be the one to tell you this, but everyone has their "thing." Unfortunately, your dog's "thing" is, well, you.
Then my vet laughed and explained that actually some animals do that when they feel like they're being neglected. We had a good laugh about it. We started sleeping with the door closed after that.
Redditor churned_applesauce wanted to hear about all the belongings many of us have that could cause quite a stir.
They asked:
"What is the most controversial thing you own?"
I'm not telling you mine.
I'm not that brave.
But let's see who is...
Pennies...
"I have an old Iraqi bill with Saddam Hussein's face on it. It's worth about 17 cents according to Google." ~ postsingularity
Giphy1937
"My grandfather went to the World Scout Jamboree in the Netherlands in 1937, and while he was there he traded patches and gear with some scouts from Germany. By 1937, the German boy scouts had transitioned into the Hitler youth, so I own a Hitler youth boy scout uniform with a bunch of swastikas on it." ~ iamagainstit
Walrus Parts
"My family owns a petrified walrus penis, my grandmother took it to get it identified at the Smithsonian several decades ago. Apparently her grandfather or maybe it was her great-grandfather brought it home after he spent several years on some type of expedition up around northern Alaska and points north."
"It has been loaned out to several museums at different times. The family has talked about selling it but everyone has to agree and so far there is no agreement about selling it. So I own 1/67th of a petrified walrus penis." ~ Robyn_withaY
Propaganda...
"When I was 18, I bought a print of a 1918 German zoo advertisement from a thrift store. I thought the artwork was neat. It had a leopard on it and I was completely cat-obsessed at the time. Turns out the artwork was by Ludwig Hohlwien. He would go on to produce Nazi propaganda." ~ wolfmoral
Jars
"An ornate, Boer tobacco jar from the 1800s. My great grandfather looted it off a dead militiaman during the Second Boer war." ~ deathtotheminutemen
GiphyInteresting.
Nothing too crazy thus far.
Hey, to each their own.
Shut Tight!
"I have a glass vial/small bottle of pure histamine. If anyone would be exposed to this they would get a deadly allergic reaction. I have it double sealed." ~ TheRealMonreal
GiphyHoliday in Kenya
"A complete ivory and ebony chessboard bought a sale of confiscated poacher stuff to fund elephant preservation. When I lived in Zambia and was on holiday in Kenya. My dad bought it and I got it as a hand me down. We were friends with someone who owned an animal sanctuary and their security had shot the poachers as far as I remember. They had a parentless baby hippo as well. It stole my sister's chewing gum and tried eating their cat. It was moved further away from the main houses after it tipped over their Land Cruiser." ~ xxrumlexx
Oh Grandma...
"I wanted a chinchilla really badly as a kid, but my parents said hell no. One Christmas my grandma got me a teddy bear made out of chinichilla fur. Luckily my parents told me it didn't hurt the chinchilla its just like getting a hair cut for them, but they were like WTF to my grandma. I now know better and am also like WTF grandma." ~ lebrunjemz
Snuffed
"I have a set of small bone carved snuff bottles from China (dated to the 19C) with explicit images on them. They’re kind of curiosities in themselves but when my in laws separated my MIL called my husband and asked him if there was anything in the house that he wanted and he said, nothing but the explicit snuff bottles."
"She took them and left them with a note that said ‘I’ve left you, please don’t contact me again. I’ve taken the snuff bottles; they were the only things in the house I liked.' After their separation we got all sorts of controversial hoardings, including a suitcase full of ivory and an abundant collection of Enid Blytons first edition books." ~ waireti
Luggage
"I have a few Ivory jewelery pieces from the early 70s my parents bought back from Botswana, and a poison arrow kit. Mum has the 3-metre long python skin she just put in her luggage from back then too." ~ Icy_Hippo
GiphyWho doesn't have cursed or ancient jewels hidden somewhere?
At least nobody on this thread mentioned faces or eyes.
That's what I was waiting for.
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Reddit user Money-Associate1601 asked:
"What’s something you look forward to every single day?"
A few years ago I wouldn't have had an answer to this, but as I read through I suddenly realized that I have one.
Also, that I enjoy it!
Mornings spent relaxing in the hammock before my day gets punted into shenanigans by my kids, my dogs, my job, or some unholy combo of the three have become crucial for my mental health.
Huh. Who knew?
Let's see what Reddit loves about their routines.
Going To Work (!)
"Going to work."
"It sounds strange, but I love it because I'm working with my son. He’s 23. I’m 50. We spend M-F working together building homes. We laugh all day long."
"It’s the happiest time of my life. I know it’s finite, so I’m enjoying it as much as possible while it lasts."
- thecrab87
"This hits me(23) so much. My dad (50) gave me a job at his company a year ago and always tells me how proud he his of me."
"Just before Christmas he got sick and almost died. When he got out of the hospital he told me how much he cherished our relationship and how it meant everything to him."
"It makes me emotional every time I read things like this."
- Qc-ripguru67
"My brother and I did landscaping together on the weekends. We use to complain about it, but after we sold the business I really missed spending time with him."
"What I miss the most is eating lunch together and riding home after a long day."
- ripped-p-ness
GiphyPajama Party
"Changing out of work clothes and into pajamas"
- send_boba
"My pajamas are my real clothes. Everything else is a facade."
- sharkittens
"The best thing about the pandemic: I work from home all the time and I can wear pajamas all the time!"
- circle_jerker_2000
"Sometimes I get home by 3pm from work and get right into my PJs."
"Even if I’m going out later, I’ll just change out of my PJs when I need to. If I’m home for an hour or longer, I’m in my PJs."
"It’s the only way."
- dat_girl83
GiphyPick Up Time
"Picking my daughters up from daycare."
"As soon as they see me, they drop whatever they were doing and run to me with the biggest smile on their faces and yelling 'Daddyyy!' "
"The absolute sh*ttiest day at work just disappears in that moment."
- all_the_fun_stuff
"100% this."
"Basically anything to do with my kids. Waking them up for school and hanging out in bed for those 5 minutes in the morning is always so much fun."
"Meeting my daughter off the bus from school. Seeing my son when he gets home from preschool and just wants to play."
"Kids are the best cure for a sh*t day at work."
- pdxrunner82
"My 2 year old screams 'IT’S MOM!!!' in absolute delight every day when I get home from work. Nothing else compares!"
- thetermagant
GiphyEmployee Of The Month
"My baby dog’s big morning stretch. He's actually a senior but he will stay about 5 lbs for forever, so we call him our baby dog."
"Oh! And then watching him go back to sleep in his office bed when I start work. He works so hard. Employee of the month, every month."
- maltymawma
"I love working in the morning and then at about 11 am my dog finally gets up. She does her morning back scratches on the carpet and then demands snuggles."
"It's my favorite unscheduled break time that happens daily."
- Food_is_my_Motive
"My cat Ygritte is my supervisor. She works so hard sleeping and making biscuits on blankets/beds/boxes with blankets."
"She yells at me if I stop working, yells at me when it is break time, and starts getting in between myself and my computer 15 minutes before the end of the day."
"She won't stop until I clock out, it is her everyday being like Nahhhhh you done. Pet me instead."
"She is the best boss I have ever had."
- AltruisticProgress9
GiphyNightly Read
"I live at a friends family house. They offered me shelter after I became homeless and every night I go to my car to read."
"I find that reading in my car every night before going to sleep gives this family a chance to get a break from seeing me and I get a chance to be calm and away from everyone."
"They are amazing people and It’s been so fun. I’m so thankful that they let me stay in their living room, but they tend to use it at night to watch a movie or have family time so I take a chance to let them be and I get a chance to learn something and relax in my car."
- AvocadoSaltAndLime
GiphyFueled By Coffee
"My morning coffee. I get a different coffee every week and drinking it is the most relaxing part of my day."
- hafilax
"Same."
"I had a Colombian blend last week, this week I got a black roast that is so strong I swear its making me grow a beard."
"I'm up at 5 every morning for 'me time', which you dont get with 3 small kids and making my coffee and staring into space for an hour is amazing."
- 2_kids_no_more·
"Coffee is mine as well."
"I love to get a big-ass black coffee with a little cream, put on a good podcast and chill out for a bit while I wake up. Quite possibly the only thing I consistently look forward to every single day."
- instinctbluess
"YES! I set up the coffee pot the night before, every night."
"In the morning my husband gets up to start it and crawls back into bed while it brews. When it's ready he puts his robe on and quietly brings me a cup, sets it on my nightstand and goes into the living room to peacefully wake up on his own, staring at his phone."
"In between alarm snoozes I briefly wake up and take a few sips of coffee. After several snoozes, I need a refill and that's usually when I get up to join him. It's such a great way to wake up, I love it so much."
"Some mornings he has to just get up and go off to a job site but no matter how early it is, he brings me a cup of coffee in bed before giving me a kiss and going. He's the best."
- theredheaddiva
GiphyMid-Day Text
"That mid-day text from my husband, asking me if I can please come home early because he and the dogs miss me, usually accompanied by a photo of the 4 of them looking wistfully at the camera."
"It never, ever gets old. So thankful for all of them!"
- luisapet
"Ugh. Mine always wants to know when I’ll be back because he wants something."
- Funny-Tree-4083
"Oh my god I want this. You are so lucky."
- __Vixen__
"I also want this in my life."
"All I get is calls/messages from scammers or customer service."
- amrit-9037
GiphyObserving This Scene
"The sheer, spontaneous joy my dogs have when my wife gets home."
"I tell them 'Who's home?' Then they hear the garage door opening and know Mommy's Home!"
"Batsh*t-crazy pandemonium ensues until I open the side door of garage. Even cuter, my wife is just as happy to see them, too!"
"Nothing beats observing this scene every day, for 11 years."
- Complex-Value-5807
"Absolutely this."
"I adopted a little baby potato two years ago. Now he’s a big old spaz and he has an absolute fit with joy whenever daddy gets home from work."
"He’s so excited he can’t even sit still for pets and kisses. Jumping up and down on the furniture, running around in circles, pure happiness."
- FunnyQueer
GiphyAt Peace
"I have 30 mins in my day in between work where I just sit on a bench in this park."
"No phone, no earphones, nothing but just me enjoying the sound of birds and whooshing of the trees. Feel most at peace during that time."
- DJTISTA
"I have recently started doing this towards the end of the day."
"It has started filling me up with peace and enthusiasm. I highly recommend this. Half an hour, daily, setting sun/rising sun, somewhere not too noisy, near water if possible."
- pappugulal
"Time like this is essential! Good for you for giving it to yourself!"
- Zebsnotdeadbaby
GiphyLunch
"The last 15 years of my working life was running a route, checking into about 235 businesses each month. It kept me very busy, I seldom had time for lunch over 1/2 hour."
"I always thought how nice it would be when I retire, to have time to set down and actually enjoy lunch."
"Fast forward 5 years, I've been retired and now I get one full hour of lunch and reading whatever book has my attention for those 5 days a week instead."
"It's heaven."
- zerogravity111111
GiphySo what have we learned today, dear readers?
The thing most of these Redditors looked forward to was a moment of peace or affection.
Whether it was from a pet, a kid, a book, or a hot cup of coffee it seems people wanted a literal or proverbial hug.
Does that track for you? What's the part of your day you look forward to most.
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