Sometimes parents tell little white lies to make things easier around the house. Like when your mom said told you the car definitely drove faster when everyone was quiet. Here, people share childhood truth bombs that were told to them in adulthood. Enjoy!
1. "Staying up late" isn't what you think it is
My mom used to turn the clocks forward when I had sleepovers at her house... She'd run in to change the clock from 7:00 pm to 9:30 pm while we were distracted (this was before we all had cell phones) and we'd be amazed at how fast time had gone. We would stay up "really late" and then fall asleep, confident in our "coolness". She actually got to go to sleep at a decent hour without making us all shut up six times in the middle of the night.
Now that I am older and value my sleep, I think she is a genius.
2. When your parents go to "talk about Christmas"
My parents used to lock their door to their rooms sometimes. When a sibling or myself would knock on the door they would say, "You can't come in, we're talking about Christmas!" We would always get so excited thinking they were discussing our presents.
They told us the truth a few years ago and my siblings and I were flabbergasted! Since then, my dad occasionally sings Christmas songs to annoy us (his favorite is Jingle Bells). And now I associate Christmas with my parents having sex.
3. The ice cream truck seems to always be sold out
"The ice cream truck plays music when they are out of ice cream for the day."
4. Uhh... it's only available at Christmastime
When I was a kid, my favorite cereal was Cap'n Crunch's Crunch Berries. If given the opportunity, I would eat nothing else. So for years my mother had me believing that they were only available during Christmas.
So about six years ago, I'm in the store with my ex and I see them. I explained how much I loved them as a child and we should get some. Then I realized it was July. I got really excited and even regressed a little I think. It was then gently explained to me that I'd been duped. I'm eating Crunch Berries right now though so all's well that ends well I suppose.
5. Alert: grilled cheese con artist on the loose
For years and years my Dad (single parent) would make grilled cheese for me by toasting bread and putting cheese on it. It was cool.
Years later, I discovered at one point while my Grandma was visiting, she attempted to make me grilled cheese the normal way (pan, butter, delicious-ness) but my Dad stopped her saying "No, then he'll know that exists."
Also, I was in Cub Scouts but only participated in local meetings, wondering why we never did camp outs or anything. Just thought it was something our troop didn't do. Recently found out, there were camp outs, my Dad just thought they were all jerks so he didn't let me go. Or tell me they existed.
6. Okay, you remember that zebra??
I recently found out at age 20 that the zebra my aunt purchased for her farm when I was a kid did not in fact die from not being able to handle the environment of upstate New York. Rather, it was (Continued)
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trampled to death by her llamas. Don't mess with llamas.
....Thought I would clarify a couple things: the original story wasn't that the zebra froze to death in a winter storm but that it was chronically ill from the wet and cold weather and eventually succumbed to this illness. Also, I have no idea how she acquired the zebra. She had an ostrich too and that thing was also mean as hell.
7. When a white lie backfires
My dad once told me fried calamari was just fried chicken to get me to eat it, assuming that I'd like it and he could tell me afterwards, "HA! You ate squid and you liked it!"
Joke was on him though, turns out I'm deathly allergic to squid.
8. The weekend is a prize for only the best children
A relative of mine tells her kid that if she behaves well at school for 5 days in a row, she can have two days off school. The kid has no idea that's the weekend.
9. My mom is SO SMART
I used to just spew out random numbers to my mom, telling to add, subtract, multiply, etc. She would, in turn, tell me what the final number would be. Blew my mind, and she was the damn smartest person on the planet. Then I got clever. One day I got a calculator out to make sure she had it right. She didn't.
10. I didn't want to know this one...
Wasn't really a bomb my mom dropped on me, but a bomb I unwittingly opened.
I was trying to get a job at several places when I was 16. I was pretty tech savvy at the time, and genuinely thought I could get a job working a help desk for a power company, a bank, and a few other places.
I started to check the mail every day to see if I had gotten a letter, since I wasn't sure they'd send me a letter, e-mail, or call. I got a few letters from the places I had applied to, and I excited opened them.
They were bills of significant debt, all defaulted on. She said she'd pay them back and close it. I believed her, so dropped it. I didn't know how credit worked back then, and I didn't know what extremes my mother would go to.
A few years later (Several years after graduating and entering the workforce), I try to get credit on my own and get flat denied by everyone. I got letters from collectors representing the companies that my mom had opened accounts with under my name. They said the bills were never paid on. I claimed identity theft and managed to get the responsibility shifted off of myself and onto my mom, after filing a police report and talking to several companies over the phones across the span of several months. All of them said that she opened the account in my name by claiming she was my wife.
11. Seems like all my loudest toys are missing
My favorite toys would go missing, turns out they destroyed them because they made too much noise.
12. When dad shows you his "poop"
My dad used to call me into the bathroom to look at his poop. I was always shocked out of my mind... it looked like little stars and perfect circles and even dog bones. I couldn't figure out why mine always looked stupid. Turns out he was (Continued)
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Turns out he was throwing dog food into the toilet and waiting for it to bloat up before calling me in. I'm glad to say I've inherited my dad's sense of humor.
13. Moms can always see through walls
My mom said she could see through walls. She knew when I was up playing and not trying to go to bed, so I believed her for years.
Turns out, my nightlight cast a very bright shadow on the wall, and she would use that to see if I was in bed or not.
14. And apparently they can also read minds
My mom told me that all moms could hear their sons thoughts. I went through ages 3-5 thinking she was reading my mind.
15. Sweetheart, you were the result of birth control fraud
My mom let it slip that the only reason she got pregnant with me was because my dad had switched her birth control pills with sugar pills.
16. "......Oh."
Not so much dropping a bomb, but when I was very young, I came downstairs at four in the morning to witness my dad, half asleep and wearing nothing but his underwear, placing presents under the Christmas tree while shoving the cookies we left out for Santa into his face.
His reaction? ".....oh."
17. These are just... long chicken nuggets
I was a very picky eater as a kid. My parents got me to try fish sticks by calling them "long chicken nuggets".
18. Lying for nutrition
For a good portion of my childhood, I thought we were just eating a different brand of tomato sauce. Turns out, my mom had been (Continued)
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liquefying carrots and putting them into the sauce to get us more veggies. Took me years to know that tomato sauce should not be orange.
19. This would be so hard to hear
The biggest bomb my mom ever dropped on me was that I had a brother that died before I was born. She waited until I was 6 to tell me. It really freaked me out.
20. I absolutely HATE that thing that you've secretly been giving me for 15 years
My husband's mother would always put 1% milk in the 2% jug simply because his brother swore that he didn't like 1%. He never knew the difference.
21. When you're not as good as you think you are
Thought I was the bomb at Connect 4 but turns out Mum just let me win.
22. When the child becomes the parent
It's the other way around for me. When I was in high school, my mom worked a lot of nights (nurse) so it was just me and my dad at home with the dog all the time. In an attempt to be healthier, I started using Splenda when I cooked, but especially when I made Kool-Aid. My dad HATED it and refused to drink Kool-Aid with Splenda, so I started putting Splenda in the paper bags that sugar normally comes in. He would watch me make Kool-Aid and then tell me how much better it tasted with the real stuff in it.
Used the same method with coffee. He has high blood pressure and refused to drink half-caff coffee because it tasted soooo bad. Just started putting half-caff in the regular caffeinated coffee tin and he loved it from then on out.
22. Hamster one or hamster two?
When I was a kid, I had a pet hamster that I loved as he would walk up my arm and sleep on my shoulder. Fast forward to age 16. My dad and I were talking about my childhood and he let slip, "Oh you mean hamster 1 or hamster 2?" o_O "What?" was my reaction. Turns out my dad accidentally left my hamsters cage in the sun and my hamster died. Then to make it better, they had the cage on their bed as they were deciding what to do, and I came in, pet the dead hamster and said. "Bye, I will see you later after school". My dad went to get a new hamster that day and when I got back from school he said I was ecstatic that my hamster got bigger. My mom confirmed this.
23. Golden Grandpa
When I was a kid we would take long family road trips to Ohio to visit my grandparents. I absolutely loved these trips - my grandparents had all sorts of cool stuff in the house, two big apple trees in the front yard, and they lived next to a train track.
My grandpa also loved Golden Grahams. Every time my brothers and I would visit, he would open his cupboard to reveals four or five boxes of Golden Grahams, explaining how much he (Continued)
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loved them and that he got some extra boxes just because we were visiting. I always thought it was so cool that my grandpa - who was, you know, old - had the same favorite cereal as me. I would always feast on cereal every time we went to visit.
Of course, years after he died, I was relaying this story to someone and the obvious dawned on me. Later I asked my mother if grandpa even liked Golden Grahams, and she got this big smile on her face, looked a little sad, and said "No... but he knew you did." Broke my heart. Still the story I tell when I remember him.
24. Wow, so many mice found good homes!
Prepare your minds for a medium length story about a 12 year old child that desperately wanted a pet mouse. I begged and begged and then finally my father took me shopping for the perfect mouse. I named him basil and he was a cute little furball. But poor little basil needed lots and lots of play time which I couldn't give. So I bought him a female friend. He became a horndog over night. And would like to chew on her ears. So I thought to myself, maybe another mouse will help. So in goes another female the following weekend. I let two female mice get repeatedly mauled by Alpha Mouse. I was confused and angry at him. He didn't listen to me nor did he stop. So I managed to get my father to buy me a huge fish tank. Maybe two metres in length, one metre high. And separated the tank with two inch thick cardboard. Too late, they were pregnant. Anyway, a couple weeks later I had too many baby mice (wow they jump high!) and Mr Basil chewed his way through the cardboard and was a crappy father to the baby mice. I didn't want them to get pregnant as well...
I got home from school one Friday afternoon and I noticed my Catholic family of mice were all gone! Except for basil, he had the whole fish tank to himself. My mother gave me around $30 and said that she sold them all to the pet shop for $1 each. I was stoked. First of all, I had $30 and second, they were all going to go to lovely homes.
Fast forward twelve years: It was Christmas and we were laughing at the time I hand delivered 28 odd baby mice, and my lovely mother dropped the bomb that she had actually just.... exterminated them.
25. Adoption...
26. My parents are people of their word... or...
On my 21st birthday, my parents took myself and my housemates out for an early dinner (so as not to interfere with the festivities planned later on) and my dad flipped my world upside down.
When I was 10 and my brother was 7, we took a family trip to the Liberty Science Center, which, for those of you not in the NJ area, is essentially a neat multi-story playhouse full of science-related activities designed for kids. They have an IMAX theater attached that plays interesting documentaries, for a while they had a "touch tunnel" where you would crawl through an extended area in complete darkness, and several demonstrations on different floors with everything from insects to aquatic life to the classic shattering-a-banana-frozen-with-liquid-nitrogen routine. To my parents' credit, they had me interested in science from a very young age, so this was a real treat for my brother and I, however, since we were still 10 and 7, we couldn't stand to be stuck in a car for more than an hour without bickering with each other. After fighting almost the entire way there, my dad lays down the law. "If I hear one more word out of either of you, I'm turning the car around." A deafening silence reigned over the rest of the car ride, until we are literally pulling in to the parking lot, when one of us (I cannot remember who) said something snarky, and my dad, true to his word, turned that car around, and we drove all the way home.
Fastforward to my 21st birthday, that story happened to get brought up, as I tend to use it as an example of how, while my dad was really cool, he was not one to mess with. My dad then revealed a life-changing secret that only he and my mother had known: (Continued)
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They never intended to actually drive all the way home after the long ride. They just wanted us to get the message. However, my dad misinterpreted some of the traffic signs, and ended up back on the Garden State Parkway, which has few and far between opportunities to turn around, so he just took us home. The entire thing was an accident, but they played it off as intentional for the sake of their parental authority. They did take us back the following weekend because you bet your betty we were the most behaved children on the planet for the next few days.
27. Sia's looking a little ...er... pale
I used to have a cat when I was about three named Sia and I loved her. She was a Siamese-looking cat and I had her for like two years. When I was five, she got really sick while I was at school and my parents took her to the vet. After about two weeks of asking my parents how Sia was, she finally came home.
"Now, Sia's going to be a bit pale because she's sick and she may act a bit funny. Being in the hospital is scary!" That's what my parents told me.
So Sia came home, and she was a lot paler than I remember. Almost grey-ish white. She also climbed behind the sofa, refused to come out, and hissed at anyone who went near her. She eventually calmed down, but didn't sleep in my room per usual. She slept on the rafters in the basement instead.
Turns out (found this out about six months ago) Sia had actually died and they replaced her with one they found at the shelter and the little dumby that was me didn't notice.
28. When is Matilda coming on screen?
I remember when I was a little girl all I wanted was to see the movie Matilda. My parents wanted to see the Nutty Professor. So they took us to see the Nutty Professor and told me it was Matilda. I just kept waiting and waiting.... it wasn't till the end of the movie I realized my parents where dicks.....
29. This almost seems worse
My first pet was a dog I named sparky. Had him for about 2 weeks then one day I come back from school with my dad telling me he ran away. Looked for that dog and set up "missing" posters for weeks.
Turns out they gave him back to the pound they adopted him from cause we couldn't afford him.
30. Whole wheat bread is just toasted white bread
I used to hate whole-wheat bread. My parents convinced me that it was just part-toasted white bread so that I would eat it.
31. We're dining on lamb tonight, sweetheart
My parents told me that lamb was not only the name for baby sheep, but also the name used to describe sheep that had died of old age on a happy farm...
Seven year old me was not happy when they told me the truth.
Image source: Asier Romero / Shutterstock.com
Text source: Reddit
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.