Lol'ing my way through this.

1. College town.. huge party. Excise cops are in town busting parties left and right. Ours gets busted. They proceed handing out tickets to underage drinkers. One kid gets a scrap piece of paper and folds it into the shape of the tickets the cops are handing out and sits on the front steps with his head in hands repeating, "My parents are gonna [friggin] kill me".. Cops just pass him right by.


2. There was a speed trap where I grew up on PA Route 74. One of the markers (since it was a vascar trap) was a white plastic jug. I often stopped along that route when I saw the jug there, grabbed the jug, and drove off.

I got stopped once doing this. The cop seemed really angry. I told him "I see that thing there all the time, and it bothers me that nobody has bothered to pick up that trash."


3. When I was a senior in high school, we got a new Vice Principal from some inner-city school who thought he was a real hard case. He would actually go around smelling kids' fingers for the scent of weed. My buddy and I came back from lunch one day, both stone sober and heard Mr. Hard Case (I forget his real name) was coming out to the parking lot to check fingers. My friend looked at me, then wedged his right hand down the back of his pants into his ass crack. He left it there until we saw the VP coming our way, then pulled it out nonchalantly and we waited. Sure enough, the VP walked up and, in his usual threatening manner, told us to hold out our hands. I did, he smelled my fingers, then moved on to my friend. I could barely keep from losing it as he took a big sniff and then literally jumped backwards, yelling something about my friend needing to wash his damn hands. Needless to say, this ended the finger-smelling technique at my high school.


4. Closest thing I've ever done to trolling a cop was the following:

Got pulled over for speeding.

Cop asks if they can search my car and I tell them no. They say they're bringing in the drug dogs, so I sit there and wait for the drug dogs.

Lo' and behold, he signals that there is something in the car (there wasn't). So they make a beeline straight for a large wooden box sitting on the floor, halfway under the back seat. They're getting all excited because they think they're gonna bust me with drugs in it. They pick it up and see (Continued)

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They pick it up and see that it's just a box holding board game pieces. Suddenly they're not quite as smiley as they were before. They opened it, looked through the entire thing and spilled my pieces everywhere.

Checked the glove compartment, the center console, everything. But since I didn't have anything on me, they obviously found nothing.


5. Back when I was in school, the University newspaper ran a story about undercover cops using a younger, cute girl to camp outside the liquor store just off-campus and ask people to buy her beer. She'd give the people money, then ask them if they wanted to come back to her vehicle and share one as a way to say thanks.

Get back to where her car is supposed to be, van door opens up, cops inside, and you'd get a ticket for underage buying.

Later that evening, my friend and I were going to this same liquor store to get some beer, when we were approached by a cute girl, who asked us if we could buy her a six pack of beer since she was underage.

Being a dumbass, I said sure, took her money and we went inside. About 10 seconds later I remember the piece about the undercover cops, and realized we were about to get arrested. At that point, we decided the best thing to do was to buy a 6 pack of super expensive root beer (blowing $9 of the $20 she gave us) and we put it in a paper bag.

We walked back out, and she asked us "did you get it?" to which we said "yeah, of course."

She invited us back to her car to have one each as a thank-you. Sure enough, we head to the back and there's the black van.

The door opens up, cops sitting in there with headphones on etc. and they tell us "you're in a world of trouble now."

I put on my best trollface and said "really? I really thought you guys could use some root beer sitting out here in that cramped van all night."

There was an awkward pause, and then they opened the bag. Root beer, nothing else.

Then they told us to get the hell out of there, and we were interfering with a police investigation, and if we didn't leave we'd get arrested.

We walked across the street to our apt. building went into the various laundry rooms and yelled out the window every time she approached someone that it was a sting. They left after 20 min. of that.


6. Around 2am on a Saturday night I was pulled over for suspicion of DWI. I hadn't had a drop. They asked me to step out of the car and gave me a sobriety test. I passed with flying colors.

They asked me if they could search the vehicle. I told them they could search the vehicle, with the sole exception of the center console. They would need a warrant for that.

After several hours sitting roadside, they finally produced a warrant from a judge. What happened next? (Continued)

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What happened next? The center console was empty. They were furious.


7. This was about 10 years ago. My mother had a large plant in a plastic pot that died. I took the pot full of dirt and put it in the trunk of my car to replant something at my house. I forgot about it for a few weeks. I got pulled over for something. The cop asked, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" and I said, "Was it speeding, or was it because of the pot in my trunk?" He got me out of the car and had me put my palms on the hood while I was searched. He opened the trunk and was not happy. I got chewed out for wasting his time and such and such. I noticed that not one single car passed, so it wasn't wasting too much of his time.


8. When my buddy and I were about 16, and stupid as hell, we did a lot of nonsense playing on cops, but this was by far our best:

We'd spend a ton of time lurking around grocery/toy stores at 3am (toy stores earlier, obviously), until one of us got an idea looking at an item in a way that it was not intended to be used in the way we wanted to use it. Normal hilarity ensued (vaseline on padlocks, bubbles in fountains, that kind of stuff). This night was different.

We're sitting in the sandwich aisle of our large local store and my buddy's eyes light up. He looks over at me and goes "get that peanut butter, smooth kind". This having been about the 4th year of us doing this, I wasn't 100% sure where he was going with it, but I knew not to question, so I bought two of those huge smooth peanut butter things.

We walk outside, cross the street, and he tells me to rip the safety seal off the peanut butter, and to get some on my fingers, and mess up the smooth top. This was where it clicked in. We then proceed to walk absolutely as suspiciously as possible through this little town square. Sure enough, halfway through, we get spotlighted.

Cop pulls up, tells us to stop, and we both instinctively put the peanut butter behind our backs (obviously holding something). Cop gets out and the conversation with my friend goes like this: "What you got there son?" "Nothing" "What's behind your back?" "Nothing" (I giggle) "Show me your hands!" (My buddy very slowly puts the peanut butter behind his shoes and socks, and shows the cop his hands. "GIVE ME THAT" "It's mine"

So the cop reaches behind my friend's feet and grabs this jar of peanut butter. He spins the top off and sees that it's not in pristine shape. Demands to know what's in it. What happened next I'll never forget. (Continued)

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My buddy: "Peanuts, salt, maltodextrin, red 3...." "WHAT DID YOU HIDE IN THE PEANUT BUTTER" "Nothing" "Then why do you have it?" "Sandwiches"

Cop looks at my pal and then back at me (still holding peanut butter behind my back), and he does it: shoves his hand and arm into my pal's peanut butter and starts throwing hunks out into the parking lot.

And my pal -loses- it.

He went off on a tyrade of peanut rights, the peanut rebellion, just harassing us because we're young, peanut civil rights, the peanut pride parade (WHO DOESNT KNOW ABOUT THE PPP?!?!!?!) and on and on.

He realizes there's nothing in it, and turns to me, furious. Doesn't say a WORD, just grabs my peanut butter, and almost knocks me over. I tell him Mr. Goodbar's lawyer will hear of this. He does the same thing to me, and I launch into a tyrade about my working family, and our right to sandwiches, and the peanut labor movement, and collective bargaining rights, and candy power fighting the man, and so on.

He figures out what's going on, and slams himself back into his car, covered in peanut butter. Yells something about us breaking curfew, kinda half chuckling, and tears out. My friend tells him he owes us a sandwich, as he drives away.

...and I thought that was the end of the story. And it was, until 5 years ago.

I'm telling this to my brother's best friend, who I did not know was the son of the police dispatcher for our town at this time.

Apparently, he had to go back and fill out incident paperwork, as there's no way to hide this peanut stuff on his steering wheel/car/uniform. The next day there was a sandwich on his chair. The day after that, baseball peanuts in his locker, the day after PB in the shower, etc etc etc.

He still gets peanut related trolling to this day.


9. It was a few days before new years in the bay area's Chinatown. I was about 14 then and me and my group of friends would always walk from school to my house just to hang out and play video games. There were about 6 of us walking up this really steep hill to where I lived. When you have lived in the same area for over 10 years, you notice things that are unusual, out of place and just doesn't seem right. The strange thing I noticed was a guy, late 30's, with sunglasses on and a hat sitting in a white pick up truck reading a magazine.

We were inside my apartment for about 30 minutes before we decided to go get some food. I saw the truck on the other corner and the guy spots us. He rolls down his window and yells "Do you guys have any fireworks for sale"? I told him I couldn't hear him but I clearly heard him. He asked again "I said do you guys have any fireworks for sale"? I told him again that I couldn't hear him. All of a sudden, he makes a turn, goes down the hill and pulls right up to us. "Do you guys have any fireworks for sale"?. I said "nope" and he goes "I know you guys do, I'm not a cop so it's cool". I told him that it doesn't matter if he's a cop or not, we don't sell fireworks because it's illegal". He starts to get irritated and starts yelling at us at this point. "Come on guys, stop being wussies. I just want to buy some fireworks for my kids". We are actually walking down the street with him slowly driving next to us asking.

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I told him one last time. "I know you're a cop and you're just doing your job but honestly, we do not sell fireworks. And by the way, a cable car is coming". He goes "so what"? I told him "Because you're going down a narrow one way street with the cable car coming up the hill towards you". He literally [crapped] his pants as he sees the cable turn the corner in full speed. He reversed as fast as he could, clipping a few cars on his way up the hill. A cop on top of the hill sees this and pulls the guy over. The dude gets out of his truck and pulls out his badge to show the other cop that he was undercover.


10. My friend's story:

He was smoking weed in high school with his best friend (both dudes). They had to sneak away from their parents, so they smoked in one of their cars at a scenic outlook near Roanoke, VA. Sure enough officers found them in the car, but luckily they had already finished and put the weed away. When the officer asked my friend what he was doing up there (the officer suspected weed), my friend said that he was in love with the other guy and they were about to make out.

Damn Southern cop didn't know what hit him, so he just walked away.


11. I grew up in a small town, REALLY small. The only way to have any form of entertainment was to drive 30 minutes to the next city to go to the movies, bowling, etc... Just so happens that on the highway halfway between the two cities there was a small town known for being a speed trap. The highway was out of the jurisdiction of the local police so what the marshal would do is hide in between overpasses to catch speeders, force them to pull over onto the frontage road, which was in his jurisdiction. Then he would claim an exaggerated speed. When people asked to see his radar, which is perfectly legal, he claimed that he didn't have to because it was illegal. Any claims reported to his superiors seemed to go ignored....until he ran into me.

Over time my friends and I had timed his patrols and realized that he patrolled towards the end of the month. One night he had stopped a friend for excessive speeding, (the officer claimed 92 in a 60 zone, which was BS) and then we knew something had to be done. The officer had taken his plate number and claimed to have seen it speeding many different times and we knew he would look out for it, So I decided to take my phone and rig it up to record the speedometer and get pulled over by the officer. It took a few tries but I managed to get pulled over by the same officer (for doing 70 in 60, that being a 1st time offence) after giving him my license he went on to claim that i was doing at least 85, and giving me the whole bit about how he cannot show me the radar, as well as giving me a ticket claiming it was a repeat offence and how I should be put into jail. All this being caught on my phone without him noticing. So a few days later I show up to the courthouse to "pay" the ticket and I manage to talk to the mayor of the town and showed him the video of all this. Thanks to me the officer got fired and I didn't have to pay a $400 ticket from a jerk.


12. I work as a Paramedic, and often the cops call us out to take someone that's drunk to the hospital. This is really stupid, because it just clogs up the ERs and costs all kinds of people unnecessary money. Not to mention the fact that they only call us because they don't want the paperwork of taking someone to jail for such a stupid thing.

So we get called out one night around midnight to some guy who had puked in the parking lot and was wobbly on his feet, he was pretty dang drunk, nothing a good night's sleep wouldn't cure though. When we pulled up who was there but the jerkwad cop who wrote me a ticket the week before, I told my partner who this was and he took the lead (the cop didn't recognize me). (Continued)

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The cop gave us a quick rundown, we checked the guy out and then this happened:

Partner: So what do you want me to do with him.

Cop: Take him to the hospital.

Partner: Why? There's no medical problem.

Cop: We're concerned about alcohol poisoning.

Partner: Well I'm not, and I have more training than you.

Cop: (Irritated) Look, just take him...

Partner: Nah, we don't really operate like that.

Cop: (Angrily) Well he needs to go sober up.

Partner: (To patient) Do you want to go to the hospital? (guy says no) See, I can't force him.

Cop: (Yelling) Well he can't stay here in the parking lot.

Partner: ::PAUSE:: Oh, I see the problem now.

Cop: (his face lightens up) Yah...?

Partner: Yah. He's YOUR problem! We don't take drunks just for being drunk.

Cop looks stunned then turns to me hoping for a different answer (still doesn't recognize me).

Me: Maybe you could just give him a ticket!

Then the fire captain got in the cop's face and threatened to get his supervisors out to the scene to adjust the officer's attitude saying things like "You don't talk to my medics like that." (The fire department has that kind of clout out here). We left and I giggled for days afterward.


13. This really isn't trolling, more of a local police officer getting owned, but I'm sure it would fit in here.

I live RIGHT outside of my city's limits, which means I'm right outside of the local police department's jurisdiction. In high school my friends and I would always hang out at my house, so one night we all decided to go to the local McDonald's to raid the dollar menu. We're riding through town not causing too much trouble. We get our feast and are heading back to my house when we realize theres a police officer following us. Now we were playing music loud enough for it to be heard but still quiet enough not to be noise pollution. We were also going a few miles over the speed limit like most people did. I guess the officer realized we were leaving the city limit and wanted to catch us before we got away. We were literally 100 feet away from the city limit sign and 400 feet from my driveway when he put on the sirens. Instead of pulling off of the road right there in traffic I just drive on to my driveway and the office pulls in right behind me. My friends and I get out of the car and the officer pulls his weapon and tells us to get on the ground. My mom and stepdad come running out of the house to straighten the officer out. Chaos ensues and the officer fires a warning shot. This scared the neighbors and they called the Sheriff's Office and asked for a unit to come. Now it turns out that the local police department and the sheriff's department really don't like each other. A Sheriff soon shows up to respond to the neighbors call and ends up ticketing the police officer for trespassing and disturbing the peace.


14. In the city I live in, you need to purchase a license to work in public spaces/the street. A few weeks ago, I was walking through a pedestrian zone, where a man was playing the violin and I stopped by to listen. Sure enough, within a minute two policemen showed up and asked him for his license.

Of course he didn't have one, so the started taking his information to give him a fine. That's when an old lady started talking to me really loudly about how that's a shame and I answered something along the line of:"They are right to stop him. What would become of the world if everybody just started to play music on the street? People might start dancing!"

This goes on for about 5 minutes, the lady and me standing about 3 feet from the police and maybe 20 people stopped and were watching, everyone else walking by is smirking. It was a good feeling when I heard:"You know what? We're gonna let you go this time. Make sure to buy a license."


15. So it's the 1st of August in Switzerland, same as 4th of July in the US, a few years ago. My friends and I, we drink and watch the fireworks. And then drink some more. At some point, there's three of us left, we mount our bicycles and drive down the hill back into town. Completely wasted, without light, singing.

So a cop car flashes the blue lights when we approach, really fast. Friend number one drives into the bushes on the right side of the street and hides there. Completely mad. My friend and I, we don't react and come to a standstill in front of the police vehicle. Two cops get out.

I will never forget what follows. The litany by the cops (dark, no light, driving in the middle of the road, endangering ourselves and other people) was to be expected. My friend nods, nods, says yeah yeah - and then one officer asks him why he doesn't have a bicycle bell (mandatory in Switzerland). At that point, I am doing the math in my head (no light, wrong direction, no bell - the alcohol - we're looking at several hundred $, if we're not lucky).

My friend gets angry and points at a rubber giraffe on his handlebar: "Officer, I do have a bicycle bell" - squeezes the thing, and it makes this ridiculous squeaky noise. The cop gets angry and says: "Sir, this is no bell, don't be silly". My friend gets more agitated, says it's even louder than a standard bell and works just fine - squeezing, squeezing, squeezing the thing to prove his point.

At this point, I completely lose it. I cannot help myself, I am dying from laughing - and I can't stop, even though the cop gets angrier by the second. My friend continues to squeeze the stupid rubber giraffe, repeating: This is even better than a bell, Sir! Then he starts laughing uncontrollably, too.

At this moment, my other friend - why, he doesn't know himself - decides to leave his hiding place just 15 meters across the road. He shoots out of the bushes, pedaling madly downhill - and falls on his rear, the bike flying away. He does this sort of somersault, rolls downhill fast, gets to his feet, and runs like hell.

The cops watch this spectacle incredulously. We continue laughing, tears flowing down our cheeks. No way to stop. "Who is that?", the cops ask - now not sure if they should follow my other friend or keep on with the two of us. The only answer they get: More laughter.

At which point - and by now, we are totally sure that this is going to be the most expensive night ever - their radio goes off. Some car accident. The look at us. At each other. Helpless. Get in the car, and drive away. We - laughing and singing (and squeaking the stupid giraffe) drive on. No ticket, no nothing.


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Photo by Usman Yousaf on Unsplash

People have different levels of tolerance when it comes to profanity.

And some people can't stand the sound of rude or vulgar language so much that they can't bring themselves to say these naughty words themselves.

But when anyone reaches a high level of anger or frustration, they still might need a verbal outlet.

And instead find themselves coming up with an alternative word, which helps them release their anger, but won't offend any nearby ears.

Redditor No-Citron5628 was curious to hear people's favorite alternatives to curse words, leading them to ask:

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When we think of iconic movie quotes, there are several which come instantly to mind.

"Here's looking at you, kid."

"Love is never having to say you're sorry."

"I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse."

Appropriately, the ones that might haunt us the most, are those delivered by villains, who linger in our memories not only by their creepy attire and presence but by their devious choice of words.

Frightening us long after the credits stop rolling.

Redditor N_the_character was eager to hear what the Reddit community considered the best quotes from both Hollywood's legendary villains, as well as some lesser-known antagonists from film, TV, and video games, leading them to ask:

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Benedict from Last Action Hero

"Benedict to youg Danny in 'Last Action Hero':"

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last action hero art GIF by xponentialdesignGiphy

Donquixote Doflamingo

"Pirates are evil?"

"The Marines are righteous?"

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"Those who stand at the top determine what's wrong and what's right!"

"This very place is neutral ground!"

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The Man with the Midas Touch...

"Goldfinger after Bond says 'Do you expect me to talk?'

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Interrupting GIF by James Bond 007Giphy

The Last Airbender's Azula

"Dai Li: 'You've beaten me at my own game'."

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Inigo Montoya, watch out!

"'Good Heavens, are you still trying to win?'"

"-the six fingered man."

Video game villains shouldn't be forgotten, ask Ghaul

“'You are not brave, you’ve merely forgotten the fear of death'."

"'Allow me to reacquaint you'.”- KentuckyBourbon94

The Good, the Bad, and the one-liners

"'When you have to shoot, shoot'."

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Whiterose of Mr. Robot

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The final frontier indeed...

"'A true victory is to make your enemy see they were wrong to oppose you in the first place'."

"'To force them to acknowledge your greatness'."

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Deep Space Nine Dislike GIF by Star TrekGiphy

A true villain will have you quaking in your boots with just one look.

But it's with their words that they really get you.

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And for the people who just send them willy-nilly...

Grow up.

Keep it decent, kids.

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Jan Canty?Unsplash

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I feel like I would prefer someone who doesn't realize it because the alternative is evil.

Saying inappropriate things on purpose involves malicious intent.

No matter... wrong is wrong.

Watch your mouth.

Redditor Ok_Context_7495 wanted to know what sort of nonsense has fallen out of other people's mouths, that left us shook. They asked:

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