Lol'ing my way through this.
1. College town.. huge party. Excise cops are in town busting parties left and right. Ours gets busted. They proceed handing out tickets to underage drinkers. One kid gets a scrap piece of paper and folds it into the shape of the tickets the cops are handing out and sits on the front steps with his head in hands repeating, "My parents are gonna [friggin] kill me".. Cops just pass him right by.
2. There was a speed trap where I grew up on PA Route 74. One of the markers (since it was a vascar trap) was a white plastic jug. I often stopped along that route when I saw the jug there, grabbed the jug, and drove off.
I got stopped once doing this. The cop seemed really angry. I told him "I see that thing there all the time, and it bothers me that nobody has bothered to pick up that trash."
3. When I was a senior in high school, we got a new Vice Principal from some inner-city school who thought he was a real hard case. He would actually go around smelling kids' fingers for the scent of weed. My buddy and I came back from lunch one day, both stone sober and heard Mr. Hard Case (I forget his real name) was coming out to the parking lot to check fingers. My friend looked at me, then wedged his right hand down the back of his pants into his ass crack. He left it there until we saw the VP coming our way, then pulled it out nonchalantly and we waited. Sure enough, the VP walked up and, in his usual threatening manner, told us to hold out our hands. I did, he smelled my fingers, then moved on to my friend. I could barely keep from losing it as he took a big sniff and then literally jumped backwards, yelling something about my friend needing to wash his damn hands. Needless to say, this ended the finger-smelling technique at my high school.
4. Closest thing I've ever done to trolling a cop was the following:
Got pulled over for speeding.
Cop asks if they can search my car and I tell them no. They say they're bringing in the drug dogs, so I sit there and wait for the drug dogs.
Lo' and behold, he signals that there is something in the car (there wasn't). So they make a beeline straight for a large wooden box sitting on the floor, halfway under the back seat. They're getting all excited because they think they're gonna bust me with drugs in it. They pick it up and see (Continued)
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They pick it up and see that it's just a box holding board game pieces. Suddenly they're not quite as smiley as they were before. They opened it, looked through the entire thing and spilled my pieces everywhere.
Checked the glove compartment, the center console, everything. But since I didn't have anything on me, they obviously found nothing.
5. Back when I was in school, the University newspaper ran a story about undercover cops using a younger, cute girl to camp outside the liquor store just off-campus and ask people to buy her beer. She'd give the people money, then ask them if they wanted to come back to her vehicle and share one as a way to say thanks.
Get back to where her car is supposed to be, van door opens up, cops inside, and you'd get a ticket for underage buying.
Later that evening, my friend and I were going to this same liquor store to get some beer, when we were approached by a cute girl, who asked us if we could buy her a six pack of beer since she was underage.
Being a dumbass, I said sure, took her money and we went inside. About 10 seconds later I remember the piece about the undercover cops, and realized we were about to get arrested. At that point, we decided the best thing to do was to buy a 6 pack of super expensive root beer (blowing $9 of the $20 she gave us) and we put it in a paper bag.
We walked back out, and she asked us "did you get it?" to which we said "yeah, of course."
She invited us back to her car to have one each as a thank-you. Sure enough, we head to the back and there's the black van.
The door opens up, cops sitting in there with headphones on etc. and they tell us "you're in a world of trouble now."
I put on my best trollface and said "really? I really thought you guys could use some root beer sitting out here in that cramped van all night."
There was an awkward pause, and then they opened the bag. Root beer, nothing else.
Then they told us to get the hell out of there, and we were interfering with a police investigation, and if we didn't leave we'd get arrested.
We walked across the street to our apt. building went into the various laundry rooms and yelled out the window every time she approached someone that it was a sting. They left after 20 min. of that.
6. Around 2am on a Saturday night I was pulled over for suspicion of DWI. I hadn't had a drop. They asked me to step out of the car and gave me a sobriety test. I passed with flying colors.
They asked me if they could search the vehicle. I told them they could search the vehicle, with the sole exception of the center console. They would need a warrant for that.
After several hours sitting roadside, they finally produced a warrant from a judge. What happened next? (Continued)
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What happened next? The center console was empty. They were furious.
7. This was about 10 years ago. My mother had a large plant in a plastic pot that died. I took the pot full of dirt and put it in the trunk of my car to replant something at my house. I forgot about it for a few weeks. I got pulled over for something. The cop asked, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" and I said, "Was it speeding, or was it because of the pot in my trunk?" He got me out of the car and had me put my palms on the hood while I was searched. He opened the trunk and was not happy. I got chewed out for wasting his time and such and such. I noticed that not one single car passed, so it wasn't wasting too much of his time.
8. When my buddy and I were about 16, and stupid as hell, we did a lot of nonsense playing on cops, but this was by far our best:
We'd spend a ton of time lurking around grocery/toy stores at 3am (toy stores earlier, obviously), until one of us got an idea looking at an item in a way that it was not intended to be used in the way we wanted to use it. Normal hilarity ensued (vaseline on padlocks, bubbles in fountains, that kind of stuff). This night was different.
We're sitting in the sandwich aisle of our large local store and my buddy's eyes light up. He looks over at me and goes "get that peanut butter, smooth kind". This having been about the 4th year of us doing this, I wasn't 100% sure where he was going with it, but I knew not to question, so I bought two of those huge smooth peanut butter things.
We walk outside, cross the street, and he tells me to rip the safety seal off the peanut butter, and to get some on my fingers, and mess up the smooth top. This was where it clicked in. We then proceed to walk absolutely as suspiciously as possible through this little town square. Sure enough, halfway through, we get spotlighted.
Cop pulls up, tells us to stop, and we both instinctively put the peanut butter behind our backs (obviously holding something). Cop gets out and the conversation with my friend goes like this: "What you got there son?" "Nothing" "What's behind your back?" "Nothing" (I giggle) "Show me your hands!" (My buddy very slowly puts the peanut butter behind his shoes and socks, and shows the cop his hands. "GIVE ME THAT" "It's mine"
So the cop reaches behind my friend's feet and grabs this jar of peanut butter. He spins the top off and sees that it's not in pristine shape. Demands to know what's in it. What happened next I'll never forget. (Continued)
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My buddy: "Peanuts, salt, maltodextrin, red 3...." "WHAT DID YOU HIDE IN THE PEANUT BUTTER" "Nothing" "Then why do you have it?" "Sandwiches"
Cop looks at my pal and then back at me (still holding peanut butter behind my back), and he does it: shoves his hand and arm into my pal's peanut butter and starts throwing hunks out into the parking lot.
And my pal -loses- it.
He went off on a tyrade of peanut rights, the peanut rebellion, just harassing us because we're young, peanut civil rights, the peanut pride parade (WHO DOESNT KNOW ABOUT THE PPP?!?!!?!) and on and on.
He realizes there's nothing in it, and turns to me, furious. Doesn't say a WORD, just grabs my peanut butter, and almost knocks me over. I tell him Mr. Goodbar's lawyer will hear of this. He does the same thing to me, and I launch into a tyrade about my working family, and our right to sandwiches, and the peanut labor movement, and collective bargaining rights, and candy power fighting the man, and so on.
He figures out what's going on, and slams himself back into his car, covered in peanut butter. Yells something about us breaking curfew, kinda half chuckling, and tears out. My friend tells him he owes us a sandwich, as he drives away.
...and I thought that was the end of the story. And it was, until 5 years ago.
I'm telling this to my brother's best friend, who I did not know was the son of the police dispatcher for our town at this time.
Apparently, he had to go back and fill out incident paperwork, as there's no way to hide this peanut stuff on his steering wheel/car/uniform. The next day there was a sandwich on his chair. The day after that, baseball peanuts in his locker, the day after PB in the shower, etc etc etc.
He still gets peanut related trolling to this day.
9. It was a few days before new years in the bay area's Chinatown. I was about 14 then and me and my group of friends would always walk from school to my house just to hang out and play video games. There were about 6 of us walking up this really steep hill to where I lived. When you have lived in the same area for over 10 years, you notice things that are unusual, out of place and just doesn't seem right. The strange thing I noticed was a guy, late 30's, with sunglasses on and a hat sitting in a white pick up truck reading a magazine.
We were inside my apartment for about 30 minutes before we decided to go get some food. I saw the truck on the other corner and the guy spots us. He rolls down his window and yells "Do you guys have any fireworks for sale"? I told him I couldn't hear him but I clearly heard him. He asked again "I said do you guys have any fireworks for sale"? I told him again that I couldn't hear him. All of a sudden, he makes a turn, goes down the hill and pulls right up to us. "Do you guys have any fireworks for sale"?. I said "nope" and he goes "I know you guys do, I'm not a cop so it's cool". I told him that it doesn't matter if he's a cop or not, we don't sell fireworks because it's illegal". He starts to get irritated and starts yelling at us at this point. "Come on guys, stop being wussies. I just want to buy some fireworks for my kids". We are actually walking down the street with him slowly driving next to us asking.
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I told him one last time. "I know you're a cop and you're just doing your job but honestly, we do not sell fireworks. And by the way, a cable car is coming". He goes "so what"? I told him "Because you're going down a narrow one way street with the cable car coming up the hill towards you". He literally [crapped] his pants as he sees the cable turn the corner in full speed. He reversed as fast as he could, clipping a few cars on his way up the hill. A cop on top of the hill sees this and pulls the guy over. The dude gets out of his truck and pulls out his badge to show the other cop that he was undercover.
10. My friend's story:
He was smoking weed in high school with his best friend (both dudes). They had to sneak away from their parents, so they smoked in one of their cars at a scenic outlook near Roanoke, VA. Sure enough officers found them in the car, but luckily they had already finished and put the weed away. When the officer asked my friend what he was doing up there (the officer suspected weed), my friend said that he was in love with the other guy and they were about to make out.
Damn Southern cop didn't know what hit him, so he just walked away.
11. I grew up in a small town, REALLY small. The only way to have any form of entertainment was to drive 30 minutes to the next city to go to the movies, bowling, etc... Just so happens that on the highway halfway between the two cities there was a small town known for being a speed trap. The highway was out of the jurisdiction of the local police so what the marshal would do is hide in between overpasses to catch speeders, force them to pull over onto the frontage road, which was in his jurisdiction. Then he would claim an exaggerated speed. When people asked to see his radar, which is perfectly legal, he claimed that he didn't have to because it was illegal. Any claims reported to his superiors seemed to go ignored....until he ran into me.
Over time my friends and I had timed his patrols and realized that he patrolled towards the end of the month. One night he had stopped a friend for excessive speeding, (the officer claimed 92 in a 60 zone, which was BS) and then we knew something had to be done. The officer had taken his plate number and claimed to have seen it speeding many different times and we knew he would look out for it, So I decided to take my phone and rig it up to record the speedometer and get pulled over by the officer. It took a few tries but I managed to get pulled over by the same officer (for doing 70 in 60, that being a 1st time offence) after giving him my license he went on to claim that i was doing at least 85, and giving me the whole bit about how he cannot show me the radar, as well as giving me a ticket claiming it was a repeat offence and how I should be put into jail. All this being caught on my phone without him noticing. So a few days later I show up to the courthouse to "pay" the ticket and I manage to talk to the mayor of the town and showed him the video of all this. Thanks to me the officer got fired and I didn't have to pay a $400 ticket from a jerk.
12. I work as a Paramedic, and often the cops call us out to take someone that's drunk to the hospital. This is really stupid, because it just clogs up the ERs and costs all kinds of people unnecessary money. Not to mention the fact that they only call us because they don't want the paperwork of taking someone to jail for such a stupid thing.
So we get called out one night around midnight to some guy who had puked in the parking lot and was wobbly on his feet, he was pretty dang drunk, nothing a good night's sleep wouldn't cure though. When we pulled up who was there but the jerkwad cop who wrote me a ticket the week before, I told my partner who this was and he took the lead (the cop didn't recognize me). (Continued)
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The cop gave us a quick rundown, we checked the guy out and then this happened:
Partner: So what do you want me to do with him.
Cop: Take him to the hospital.
Partner: Why? There's no medical problem.
Cop: We're concerned about alcohol poisoning.
Partner: Well I'm not, and I have more training than you.
Cop: (Irritated) Look, just take him...
Partner: Nah, we don't really operate like that.
Cop: (Angrily) Well he needs to go sober up.
Partner: (To patient) Do you want to go to the hospital? (guy says no) See, I can't force him.
Cop: (Yelling) Well he can't stay here in the parking lot.
Partner: ::PAUSE:: Oh, I see the problem now.
Cop: (his face lightens up) Yah...?
Partner: Yah. He's YOUR problem! We don't take drunks just for being drunk.
Cop looks stunned then turns to me hoping for a different answer (still doesn't recognize me).
Me: Maybe you could just give him a ticket!
Then the fire captain got in the cop's face and threatened to get his supervisors out to the scene to adjust the officer's attitude saying things like "You don't talk to my medics like that." (The fire department has that kind of clout out here). We left and I giggled for days afterward.
13. This really isn't trolling, more of a local police officer getting owned, but I'm sure it would fit in here.
I live RIGHT outside of my city's limits, which means I'm right outside of the local police department's jurisdiction. In high school my friends and I would always hang out at my house, so one night we all decided to go to the local McDonald's to raid the dollar menu. We're riding through town not causing too much trouble. We get our feast and are heading back to my house when we realize theres a police officer following us. Now we were playing music loud enough for it to be heard but still quiet enough not to be noise pollution. We were also going a few miles over the speed limit like most people did. I guess the officer realized we were leaving the city limit and wanted to catch us before we got away. We were literally 100 feet away from the city limit sign and 400 feet from my driveway when he put on the sirens. Instead of pulling off of the road right there in traffic I just drive on to my driveway and the office pulls in right behind me. My friends and I get out of the car and the officer pulls his weapon and tells us to get on the ground. My mom and stepdad come running out of the house to straighten the officer out. Chaos ensues and the officer fires a warning shot. This scared the neighbors and they called the Sheriff's Office and asked for a unit to come. Now it turns out that the local police department and the sheriff's department really don't like each other. A Sheriff soon shows up to respond to the neighbors call and ends up ticketing the police officer for trespassing and disturbing the peace.
14. In the city I live in, you need to purchase a license to work in public spaces/the street. A few weeks ago, I was walking through a pedestrian zone, where a man was playing the violin and I stopped by to listen. Sure enough, within a minute two policemen showed up and asked him for his license.
Of course he didn't have one, so the started taking his information to give him a fine. That's when an old lady started talking to me really loudly about how that's a shame and I answered something along the line of:"They are right to stop him. What would become of the world if everybody just started to play music on the street? People might start dancing!"
This goes on for about 5 minutes, the lady and me standing about 3 feet from the police and maybe 20 people stopped and were watching, everyone else walking by is smirking. It was a good feeling when I heard:"You know what? We're gonna let you go this time. Make sure to buy a license."
15. So it's the 1st of August in Switzerland, same as 4th of July in the US, a few years ago. My friends and I, we drink and watch the fireworks. And then drink some more. At some point, there's three of us left, we mount our bicycles and drive down the hill back into town. Completely wasted, without light, singing.
So a cop car flashes the blue lights when we approach, really fast. Friend number one drives into the bushes on the right side of the street and hides there. Completely mad. My friend and I, we don't react and come to a standstill in front of the police vehicle. Two cops get out.
I will never forget what follows. The litany by the cops (dark, no light, driving in the middle of the road, endangering ourselves and other people) was to be expected. My friend nods, nods, says yeah yeah - and then one officer asks him why he doesn't have a bicycle bell (mandatory in Switzerland). At that point, I am doing the math in my head (no light, wrong direction, no bell - the alcohol - we're looking at several hundred $, if we're not lucky).
My friend gets angry and points at a rubber giraffe on his handlebar: "Officer, I do have a bicycle bell" - squeezes the thing, and it makes this ridiculous squeaky noise. The cop gets angry and says: "Sir, this is no bell, don't be silly". My friend gets more agitated, says it's even louder than a standard bell and works just fine - squeezing, squeezing, squeezing the thing to prove his point.
At this point, I completely lose it. I cannot help myself, I am dying from laughing - and I can't stop, even though the cop gets angrier by the second. My friend continues to squeeze the stupid rubber giraffe, repeating: This is even better than a bell, Sir! Then he starts laughing uncontrollably, too.
At this moment, my other friend - why, he doesn't know himself - decides to leave his hiding place just 15 meters across the road. He shoots out of the bushes, pedaling madly downhill - and falls on his rear, the bike flying away. He does this sort of somersault, rolls downhill fast, gets to his feet, and runs like hell.
The cops watch this spectacle incredulously. We continue laughing, tears flowing down our cheeks. No way to stop. "Who is that?", the cops ask - now not sure if they should follow my other friend or keep on with the two of us. The only answer they get: More laughter.
At which point - and by now, we are totally sure that this is going to be the most expensive night ever - their radio goes off. Some car accident. The look at us. At each other. Helpless. Get in the car, and drive away. We - laughing and singing (and squeaking the stupid giraffe) drive on. No ticket, no nothing.
When you're working with kids, you never know what you're going to be dealing with on a daily basis. Are you going to have the delicate sweethearts, opening their hearts to learn?
Or are you going to be dealing with a sinister group of bee wranglers, who have suddenly set up a black market bee ring througout the school?Yes. That's a real thing that happened.
"Teachers of Reddit, what was the worst thing you had to confiscate from a student?"
Something can leave a lasting impact you think about for years after the fact without actually being physically or mentally scarring. Sometimes it just makes you question why you're doing what you're doing.
That's Not How That Works
"I had to confiscate hand sanitizer from a student who decided to drink it to get drunk and threw up EVERYWHERE."
"This actually came up in a chemistry lab. One guy heard sanitizer had alcohol in it and you could see his eyes light up. The teacher had to calmly explain why he'd probably die/get violently sick."
Thank You For Being So Hurtful And So Honest
"My wife is a teacher and one of her first graders brought her 2 hard seltzers because her mom said they’re good after a long day and she deserved them"
"Aww that's pretty sweet actually, even if inappropriate."
Remember that bee story from earlier? This is that time.
These stories are peculiar, odd to say the least, but mostly harmless to those involved. Unless you're a bee.
Black Market Bee Sales?
"When I was in fifth grade there was an active market in live bees."
"Some kids figured out that the weight of the average fifth grader briefly stepping on a bee, in the grass, would stun it for about a minute without actually killing it. They started going out in teams to scout bees on the field, stun them, and carefully scoop them into plastic sandwich bags -- they'd then sell them to other students who'd release them in classrooms to waste class time and scare people."
"You could get honeybees for 25 cents apiece. Bumblebees and yellow jackets cost more. Teachers and school admin started cracking down on this -- teachers literally confiscated live bees in plastic bags from students when found, and they eventually had to start having someone watch the field to catch students in the act."
Take It Off The Stove
"My mom has had stories about what's she's confiscated from lower elementary aged students (K-3). The usual prank items like woopie cushions, sure. But one time a student was playing with this weird box. The box was locked. So she couldn't put it in the confiscated bin. She put it on top of a cabinet. About an hour later, it starts ringing. Furiously. It took some doing to get the box open."
"Turns out, this kid's parent was a professional chef. So the kid had grabbed every timer in the house, set them for the max amount of time, locked the box, brought it to school, and played with it so it would get confiscated and ring loudly. Whole class erupted with laughter and screaming. A true agent of chaos"
"Preschool teacher here. I had to convince a 4 year old that his mom's wedding ring should go into a special box on the front desk instead of on the finger of a six year old girl he had a crush on."
"Later he brought in his dad's car keys, and a bottle opener."
We Found Nemo, Everybody
"The weirdest one was definitely the fish in a vase they found during locker checks. It was in an unassigned locker someone had added a lock to. Inside was a live Betta fish in about as large a vase as you can fit in a locker. Fully decorated. Someone had clipped a little book light to the top of the vase presumably so fish wasn't in the dark all the time. No one claimed to know whose if was or how long it had been there so it lived in the coaches office for at least that year."
Everybody Is Going Nuts
"A dead squirrel."
"I taught preschool at the time."
Kids are dangerous psychos, aren't they? Deep down? We're just meant to think they're innocent so we won't notice they knife they're about to stick in our backs.
Planning A Heist?
"Most dangerous: a knife from an 8th grader."
"Most annoying: different school than above, but a wifi jammer and a USB killing device from an 8th grader."
This Is Why We Shouldn't Give Kids Technology
"Not a teacher, but a bus driver. I had to confiscate a 5th grader's cell phone a few days ago, specifically because he was showing hardcore porn to first graders with it... Lots of phone calls that day..."
"My school banned 1st grade - 5th grade from having phones because the 4th/5th graders would constantly show hardcore porn to the younger kids... I'm starting to see a pattern here"
Ah, That Explains A Lot Of These Stories
"Penis shaped glass pipe with weed still in the balls/bowl. Mom asked if she would be getting it back or if the school was keeping it."
It's not your child, we promise. It's everyone else's kid that's bringing dead squirrels and phone porn to school.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Abduction remains to be a horrific crime that can typically happen to women and children.
Curious to hear from those who lived to tell their distressing stories, Redditor mind_guardian asked:
"For survivors of attempted kidnapping. How did you escape?"
The following Redditor had very close calls.
Spontaneous Escape Plan
"Guy at a club and his mix of friends was insistent about coming back to a party, I politely declined. Didn't think much of it. They got increasingly aggressive about it, to a physical extent, and I left. Walking back home, I realized they were following me in their car."
"Dashed down the road through the mid-path of a packed apartment complex and just started yelling like crazy."
"No one actually responded or poked their head out or maybe they just didn't hear me. But it sparked the escape reflex of the creeps and I hid in a bush until my heart slowed down. Jumped the fence of someone's property -risky in its own right- wandered through a field, avoiding the main roads, and circled back to a side-street to home. Lucky I knew the area better than they did."
Offering A Ride Home
"I don't know sure what this was, but i was riding my bike home alone, cutting through a deserted middle school and high school parking lots during the summer time. A man in a station wagon pulled up and offered me a ride home. I never stopped pedaling, just said no I'm fine."
"He pressed several times saying he could fit my bike in his car, it was no big deal. I kept saying no. He gave up and left. Don't know if it was just a genuinely helpful guy (this was the late 70s or early 80s so it wasn't yet completely extinct practice that strangers might offer each other rides) or a potential kidnapper."
Up In The Treehouse
"My mum was always paranoid someone would kidnap us kids from the yard. We used to play outside while she worked from home, we were 10, 8 and 6 at this time. She paid our neighbours teenage daughter to sit in the yard and watch us. Mostly she just ignored us and read a magazine with her headphones on and Walkman playing, but she was nice to us. I remember thinking this was stupid and mum was right there anyway so why did I 'basically a teenage' need to be babysat lol."
"One day we were all up in our tree house being jerks to our babysitter and unplugging her headset cord while she was trying to nap. A man and woman came into the yard via the side gate. They started talking to my youngest sibling trying to get her to climb down. The babysitter screamed for help but no one came. She ended up throwing the ladder from the treehouse over our back fence into her own yard and made us all climb into her yard with her dog who was going insane at the fence."
"We ended up locked in her house and she called the police. My mum didn't hear any of the commotion from inside the house and she won't speak about it even now that we are all adults. Never complained about my babysitter after that though."
The Creepy Customer
"I don’t remember how old I was, just that I was small enough to fit into the kids seat on a grocery cart. This was the early 90s and my mom had taken me grocery shopping with her. I was sitting in the grocery cart while my mom was focused on picking out produce only a few feet away when an older woman swooped in between us and started pushing the cart away quickly. I recall her smiling at me and trying to make me feel comfortable while also making the 'shh' gesture with her hand."
"I did not feel comfortable and started making enough noise to alert my mom. She ran over and loudly yelled at this stranger that this child was hers. The most chilling part that I still remember was that she didn’t flee the scene and instead made a comment about how cute I was and calmly walked away. Before she disappeared down an aisle she took one last look at me and winked."
People who were actually abducted talked about how they got out of their situation.
The Elderly Hero
"It was the 90s in SE Asia. I wasn’t old enough to go to school yet so my grandma took care of me while my parents were at work. My grandma had a little convenience store and one day 2 men approached her. One was in his 30s and the other was an old short man with white hair. They were carrying those hand weave basket pig cage."
"They asked my grandma if I was for sale. She told them to bugger off. While my grandma was distracted, they snatched me and I was carried away. I was kicking and screaming until they knocked me out. One of the neighbors saw me and alerted my grandma. My grandma rode her bicycle down the main street looking for me. She argued and threatened them to get me back."
"If it wasn’t for my grandma and her stubborn fierceness, I wouldn’t be here. She passed away in 2016. Love you and miss you grandma."
"My wife told me that when she was just a teenager, she got in a cab and the cab driver just abducted her. He didn't take her to her destination, instead he took her to a hotel room. She was really scared but she kind of started playing along a little and pretended that she was interested and into it. Then he lay down on the bed, and she said something like 'Oh, I'm hungry. Can we order a pizza first?' and the cab driver said okay."
"So she picked up the phone, while she was dialing he wasn't paying attention so she disconnected the cable. Then she said, you know, I think the phone is broken. Let me go to the front desk to tell them, and I'll order the pizza while I'm there. So he says, okay sure."
"She went to the front desk and told them what was happening, they called the cops, the cops came and hauled him away."
Fighting For Life
"Was drugged at a small town bar, went to the bartender and asked what drink she had given me. She recited what I had ordered. I told her I asked because I'm not feeling well suddenly and it was like the world was spinning on its head. I sat at my seat because she said she hadn't seen anyone near my table/drink. Cool, whatever."
"It's getting worse and I feeling the worst I've ever felt in my life. I don't really remember what happened but a guy had led me outside and we were getting in a car. I remember hearing 'bracele' and seeing handcuff clink on my tiny a** wrist. My first response was scream, kick, anything. I already felt like vomiting and pooping so in my panic of scream and writhing around (drawing a LOT of attention from a closed car apparently) I stopped for a second and hear 'finally you b*tch' before I vomited all of the back seat, myself, and I threw myself forward to cover him as well."
"At this point I had no control between vomiting and screaming as loud I as could to vomit more, my drugged self was like 'it can't get worse for me' and I literally pulled my pants down and shat as my body saw fit. Guy never left the parking lot because of the commotion I raised."
"I remember hearing people banging on the windows and the guy freaking out, so I started screaming 'help' the best I could. The guy was arrested and charged with attempted kidnapping and drugging me with meth and fet that they found on his person. Blessed be the big man 'mike' who carried my vomit poop cover self to the gym (next to the bar) where they let me shower and change."
The Ultimate Betrayal
"My best friend tricked me into hanging out with her after I moved to another coast to be closer to her. Once I got there she introduced me to her 'friend' then slipped out of the house. When i asked about it he laughed and said 'you really thought she was your friend? She owes me money and you’re her payment. I’ve known about you for months. None of this was coincidental' then proceeded to pull up pics of me and conversations between them two."
"After a lot of initial crying and begging I told him I needed to go to her house to get my stuff and my phone. He told me he would get me all new stuff and I didn’t need it. Why would I go back to her. I immediately told him that he was right. I didn’t wanna go back to her. That he really saved me from her cause what kind of friend would sell me to someone. I told him that he was gonna take care of me and I knew that. I just needed my phone to let my parents know I was okay and wouldn’t see them for a bit or they’d get worried and file a report."
"After much convincing he agreed to let me go to her house around the corner to grab my stuff and come back. I took off running once I got around the corner. Had to take 2 busses and 2 trains to get home. I haven’t had a close friend since."
These Redditors recalled making a run for it before anything bad could happen.
Declining An Invitation
"When I was 8 years old (f) I had just moved to a new house that was directly across the street from the school I would be starting in just a month or two. I would sometimes go to the school and play by myself for a bit. One time I was headed back home when I was approached and surrounded by a group of boys in their early teens. They told me to come hang out at their house. I shook my head and tried to run home but was blocked. The second oldest pulls out a $20 and tells me that I can have it once we get to their house. I think for a moment and decline again but am blocked again from leaving. My heart is racing and I keep looking longingly at my house."
"The boy with the money holds it out to me and says to take it and he'll give me another $20 at the house, it's in his wallet, he forgot it. The oldest chimes in telling me I would be able to buy a LOT of candy with that money. I hesitate, and start to reach my hand out to take the money and then see my chance to run between two of the boys and escape. They yelled and tried to grab me but I made it home."
"I saw some of them on occasion but I always stayed far away and they seemed to have forgotten about me. I later learned that the house they were trying to take me to belonged to a drug addicted mother who was rarely home and her son's just did whatever they wanted."
"I was 12 and some guy was walking towards me after school. He said, 'Hey there kiddo, You remember me, don't you!? Mom told me to take you home!' I thought, 'B*tch, that's the oldest trick in the book!' My parents told me if this ever happened, one thing I could do was run to the nearest adult and yell 'Mom, Mom' or 'Dad, Dad' So that's what I did."
"A teacher was walking into the school and I said, 'Oh Dad, there you are!' The guy got TF outta there. I explained to the teacher why I did what I did. We didn't get his plate number sadly enough."
"It Only Takes A Second"
"When I was very little my dad took my sister and I on a river camping trip for a few days. We got to the little rural town at the end of the river where a buddy left our truck and trailer at the boat launch for us. My sister was old enough to sort of help dad with loading the boat (hold rope so it doesn’t float away while we back up etc) but I was too little to really do much so I started wandering around looking for stuff. I found a dead bumblebee and I really loved bumblebees so I decided to bury it in a little grave to pay respects. I found a patch of flowers near the edge of the boat launch, by the woods. I’m crouched down, completely absorbed by my trying to make a little cross for a headstone out of two twigs and a bit of grass, when suddenly I hear my dad’s deep, booming voice scream."
"He was a good ten yards away from me but it was so loud I could feel it in my chest and I jump and spun around towards him. He is already halfway to me, running. His face looks scary. He looks so mad, so focused, and he’s looking over my shoulder instead of at me. I run over to him, no idea what’s happening but scared that I’d at least get in trouble if I didn’t go over to him right away. He picks me up and puts both me and my sister into the truck to finish loading by himself."
"Apparently a man tried to take me. I never even knew he was there. Dad caught sight of him just as he began lunging towards me and scared him off. I wouldn’t have known until I was already gone if he hadn’t been so aware."
"Watch your kids, it only takes a second."
A Convenient Tool
"I was about 7 at the time, and at that time i thought it was cool to carry a pocket knife, well, one day i was riding my bike, and a man knocked me over covering my mouth, i grabbed my knife and stabbed him in the side and ran inside crying."
Listen To Your Gut
"I was 19 walking to work in the early hours of the morning in winter. I knew someone was following me for a little while and I was just praying I was making it up. Suddenly all the sh*t I have even been taught about self defence came forward. He grabbed me and pulled me."
"There was a moment when I turned to look at him and he laughed and it was at this point I pissed my pants. I was walking as close to the road as I physically could without being on it and I pushed my head down and then threw it back as quickly as I could."
"He fell and I ran in the middle of the road with my armsout screaming. Flagged down to cars. It was a very scary moment in my life and taught me a harsh lesson. Listen to your gut, even if you've done something 100 times if you don't feel safe you're not safe."
These and hundreds of other examples on this Reddit thread reflect the sad reality of the horrors of the crime that still happen to this day.
Hopefully, what the survivors did to flee from their traumatizing situations can be a useful reminder to always stay vigilant, whether it is for yourself or your children.
And when all else fails, always scream and fight for your life before the situation can get any worse.
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Budding chefs know a thing or two about what makes certain dishes taste so good.
Interesting points were brought up when Redditor onegrayhair asked:
"What culinary hill are you willing to die on?"
People shared cooking tips and how some foods should be prepared a certain way.
"Nachos should be built wide not tall."
"I hate when the chips at the bottom don’t have all the cheese and toppings, but the chips on top have too much. Balance is key to a great plate of nachos!"
Jaws Have Limitations
"We need to make burgers wider not taller."
"If I have to disassemble a burger to eat it, it’s missing the point, isn’t it?"
Just Let It Stew
"Homemade chili is almost always better the next day."
"And most soups and stews."
Add Some Zap
"Worcestershire sauce can work magic."
"Being poor isn’t a culinary crime. It takes talent to make cheap food taste as good as my mom did."
People had plenty to say about rating recipes.
"When you're baking from an online recipe, don't change three or four ingredients "to make it healthy" and then leave a one star review about how bad it is."
"Don't leave a 5-star review on someone's recipe while saying 'This was a great recipe... after I made these 10 changes!' At that point, you're not rating that person's recipe, you are rating YOUR OWN recipe. That person's recipe must not have been so good if you had to make so many changes."
"Also, don't leave a 5-star review on someone's recipe while saying 'This recipe looks great, I can't wait to try it!' Why skew the ratings when you haven't even tried it yet?"
Snobbery Is Tasteless
"Being snobby about food to the point where you're hindering someone else's enjoyment is not a positive personality trait."
Taste Buds Don't Lie
"If it tastes good it tastes good."
Some questioned others' capabilities in the kitchen while others straight up forbade them from doing something that is unfavorable.
"People who hate cooking with stainless steel don’t know how to cook with stainless steel."
There's A Dress Code
"DON’T WEAR YOUR APRON INTO THE BATHROOM."
"I've called people out for doing this. It's disgusting. This isn't a hill to die on, this should be common sense. People be dumb."
"I had to call a girl out again for putting a container of raw meat on a cold station."
"She complained that I 'always call her out on that.'"
"Yeah no sh*t, you're the only one tryna catch state health code write ups.'
"e/ she saw the post and I made her cry, oops."
Don't Interrupt The Cook
"Get out of the kitchen if I'm cooking. Out out out I don't want your help."
Not All Salads Are Good For You
"I live in the Midwest, I love the Midwest but just because you call something a salad does not mean it is healthy and an acceptable side dish to your main course. Snicker-marshmallow-mayo-whatever is not salad."
I don't consider myself a cook, but I do pat myself on the back for some of the dishes I do know how to make well.
One of those is Japanese curry. And while I can't keep from serving and eating what takes at least an hour-and-a-half to make, I do find that my leftover tastes infinitely better the next day.
I make a HUGE batch of curry sauce so I can continue enjoying it for the next few days. There's something about leaving it in the fridge and heating up portions at a time that really activate the spices.
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Adulthood has been pretty nice, I have to admit. I quite like it. But it isn't always easy and some lessons are more difficult to learn than others.
It's so important to learn how to budget, for instance, because being an adult can get expensive. Between rent, food, utilities, and other odds and ends, you'd be shocked how quickly money flies out the window. Understanding this (and keeping an eye on your finances) pays dividends in the long run.
But that's also assuming things go well or smoothly – unexpected expenses arise and those come with their own consequences.
People shared their thoughts after Redditor FrequentPilot5243 asked the online community,
"What is an adult problem no one prepared you for?"
"All your young life..."
"Lack of purpose. All your young life you are given a purpose of passing exams and learning, then all of a sudden you are thrown into the world and told to find your own meaning."
There is something to be said about how much of childhood was demarcated by time. You lose those markers as an adult and that can be a big shock.
"You can stay up..."
"You can stay up as late as you want. But you shouldn't."
Yep, better not do that on a work day. You'll regret it, trust me.
"I didn't know..."
"I didn't know that other adults have the emotional intelligence of teenagers and it's almost impossible to deal with logically."
Try working customer service sometime. You'll deal with these people all the time. I don't miss those days.
"No one really talks about..."
"Almost all of your friends won't be life long. No one really talks about how common it is to lose touch with people or grow apart. Most of your life will be spent either making new friends while losing old ones or being alone."
This is true and we all go through it. I have already gone through it several times.
"Being able to do..."
"Being able to do so many things because I'm an adult but too tired to do any of them."
It's amazing how much having to work sucks all your time and energy from you.
"You are held to account..."
"You are held to account for bad behaviour for which you are negligent even if you had no intention to cause harm. As a lawyer, I see this all the time. People don't think they're responsible for mistakes. You are."
This is a big lesson to learn and it's probably important to teach young children that they don't get away with their mistakes so easily.
"The intricacies of workplace politics."
This is a big one and can be a big culture shock the first time you start working. Not understanding workplace politics can make your life more complicated than you'd like.
"Figuring out what makes you happy. Everyone keeps trying to get you to do things you're good at, or that makes you money, but never to pursue what you enjoy."
Unfortunately, so many of the things that bring people joy aren't necessarily the things that will make them money, and that really gets to the heart of unjust our system can be.
"I always thought..."
"One adult problem nobody prepared me for is how expensive everything is. I always thought that as an adult I would be able to afford the things I wanted, but it turns out that's not always the case! I've had to learn how to budget and save up for the things I want, and it's been a difficult process."
Learning how to budget properly is a valuable lesson. Those who don't learn it have a hell of a time as adults. It's harder than it looks.
"You may have heard..."
"You may have heard from your older relatives that when you get older, it'll be your turn to take care of them. You never really understand just how much it takes until you're in that position."
As someone who has done it, it was perhaps the most difficult thing i have ever done – and there was little, if any, support. It's a big wake up call.
No one ever said life is easy. Hopefully learning, accepting, and anticipating some of these struggles will make your life easier.
Have some thoughts of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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