Way back in the day, HBO had a show called Taxi-Cab Confessions. The premise was simple, taxi drivers come across some of the most interesting people day in and day out - so why not put a camera in the cab and see what we can learn. It turned the cab into a confessional booth - and people loved it.
The show may be a thing of the past, but the premise is just as solid now as it was then. Ride share drivers absolutely meet some serious "characters" and we still want to know all about it.
Reddit user Baaraban asked:
Welcome to the confessional, my friends. Things are about to get interesting. Here are some of the more popular responses:
Drunken Babysitter Time
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I used to drive Uber at fort Myers beach. I picked up 4 drunk as a skunk middle aged people and crammed them into my tiny car. I was about to pull into their neighborhood (nice, gated, on the water) and the one guy was like, "I need you to follow that car!"
And I'm like "whatever, let's see how this plays out".
So we start following this random SUV and I'm like "who is this guy?" And they're like "we don't know, but we have 20 minutes of babysitter left and we aren't wasting it." I reminded them they were on triple rate surcharge and they literally didn't care.
Eventually the car pulled over and everyone shouts at me "GO GO GO!!" And we sped off into the night.
$100 ride, $20 tip, 5 star review. 100% worth it. Entertaining drunk, otherwise responsible people is a blast.
The Officer's Daughter
Friend of mine visiting NYC took a taxi back to his hotel late night. Riding in the back he found a small women's clutch purse thing. Inside was the ID of a ~19 year old girl, and the business card of a police officer in a town neighboring state. The police officer had the same last name as the girl, so my friend figured the officer was the girl's father and she carried the card in case she ever needed to get herself out of a traffic ticket or something. My friend figures he can leave a voicemail on the officer's business number when he gets back to the hotel, then leave the purse at the hotel front desk for the girl to come pick up, so that is exactly what he does as soon as he gets up to the hotel room.
About three hours later--now 3 or 4 AM--he is in a deep sleep when loud knocks on his hotel room door wake him up. It's a bunch of NYPD detectives who want to know all the details of how he found the purse, like where he originally hailed the cab, etc.
Turns out the girl was, indeed, the daughter of the cop on the business card - and she had been missing for a few days. The discovery of her clutch purse was the first sign of her that had popped up.
My friend had paid for the cab via credit card and had kept the receipt, so he was able to pass that along to the detectives who, presumably, were able to use that to track down the cab driver and find out any information he could provide.
Ultimately my friend doesn't know what happened, the cops never contacted him again.
NFL Players And Six Flags
Picked up two guys from a hotel. Destination is in the Hollywood hills. When we're navigating up the winding roads of the hills, one of the guys mentions that he "hates going to [famous football player]'s house" because he always gets a little carsick. He tells me he knows this player because he plays for the famous player's Alma mater and is in town to work out for the NFL draft that year.
This house is at the top of a hill with a beautiful view. When we get there, the drafted asks me to wait for a couple minutes and he enters the house. After a while, he gets back in the car and tells me I'm gonna follow three other cars to Six Flags. First car is a big, black Suburban followed by two luxury German sedans and here I am with my economy car with an Uber sticker on it.
The PBR Match
I matched with a girl on Tinder by accident, and she messaged me saying she liked PBR, which is in one of my pictures. Being awkward and not wanting to waste her time, I just unmatched without saying anything. Around this time I was near the beginning of my brief tenure as an Uber driver. Who do you think I pick up the very next day? Yup!
I immediately try to slouch hoping she doesn't recognize me, and after 5 minutes of silence, right when I think I'm in the clear, she says: "Hey did we match on Tinder?"
To which I reply: "I don't think so."
Then she says: "Yeah, I messaged you about PBR and then you unmatched me."
And I just let out a feeble kind of "Oh, yeah." Then I look down at my GPS, and there's 25 minutes left in this ride. I did not get a tip.
Lady Of The Night
I picked up a guy who either refused to pay a lady of the night from the night before or didn't know she was a lady of the night. She proceeded to follow us. Finally he gets a call from someone, seemed like it scared him because he told me to bring him back to his place. She followed us back there, I promptly left. Probably should have kicked him out sooner.
The Live Tweet
Had a former NFL player live-tweet from my back seat that he wanted to punch me in the mouth because I was chewing gum and he could hear it. Never said a word to me. I didn't even realize I was doing it. Maybe be an adult and let someone know next time instead of threatening them on social media like a little b. The folks driving you are people, too.
- jough22
"Do you not like Christian music?"
I was the passenger for this one, but I've been mortified ever since so I'm gonna put it on the internet to make the memory less powerful.
So, I had had a miscarriage five days earlier, and I was resolutely continuing with my life because not continuing with it would've involved telling people why I needed to take a few days, and I just really didn't want to because I hadn't even disclosed that I was pregnant in the first place. So I was Uber-ing to work in my numb emotional haze.
The driver had this aggressively Christian music playing, which was fine, until one of the songs got really into babies. It was something like, Baby Jesus is the holiest thing ever and you've just got to love him, with his little feet and his little face and his innocence and all this pure love in your heart because baby.
So I, somewhat frantically 'cause I'm half a degree away from bawling my eyes out in this Uber, go "Sorry, can you change the station?"
And the driver goes, "Why?"
"I just really need you to change the station."
"Do you not like Christian music?"
"Please just change the station."
So she changes the station, and gives me a weird look, and for like two seconds I'm taking deep breaths and thinking okay, this is fine, I can keep it together, I can contain this situation to just "that one time I gave a ride to a panicked atheist," as far as she's concerned,aaaand then I went ahead and cried eyes out anyway.
while the driver gave me a rather alarmed look, and her perception of the situation probably became "that one time I gave a ride to an atheist who might need an exorcism, idk." She didn't ask, so I just stumbled out of the car and went to work with no more words exchanged between us.
And then.
When I was coming home from work.
I got the same driver again.
And I got in the car and she immediately turned the radio off and drove me home in complete silence.
The Sharpest Tool
I drove a taxi in a suburb of Boston for awhile in the 80's. One day, a kid in his 20's with a baseball bat hailed me and asked me to take him to a pharmacy nearby. It was the middle of the day, so I assumed he was coming from softball practice.
He told me to wait, then he went into the pharmacy, and left the bat in the car. A minute or two later, he came running out of the pharmacy, with the pharmacist right behind him.
Was this guy nuts? What kind of criminal uses a cab as a getaway car? I casually reached back and locked the door just as he reached the cab.
He fumbled with the handle, realizing that he left his only defensive weapon inside, and then ran off. I let the pharmacist into the cab, and then the two of us made a slow pursuit of the guy, while reporting his location over the radio (no cell phones). Eventually, he was so exhausted that I got out of the cab and held him until the police arrived. I had to testify in court and identify him. Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
From The Strip Club To The School
Picked a guy up from a strip club around 5pm. He had clearly been there for a while and was talkative drunk. He started talking to a friend on his phone and kept saying he couldn't go into detail because he had a lady driver. He told me he was going home and then taking his daughter out to a basketball game because there was an after-game concert she was very excited about.
Little did he know (or I know because I was just following the gps) that he had been routed to her high school. His wife or daughter had scheduled the Uber so he could get back to the suburbs from the city (where the strip club is) in time to take the daughter to the basketball game that night. He thought he was going home to meet her, which would give him a chance to clean up. Whoever scheduled it sent him straight to the school to get her.
Dudes in a rumpled suit, smells like strip club, and is clearly not sober. He got a resolved look, handed me a few singles, said "Thanks for the ride boo," and just hitched up his pants like a man embracing his awful situation.
The Next Best Thing
The first that comes to mind was the 78 year old lady that insisted that I needed to know about the hookup she was going home from. She went into descriptive detail about her sexual life. When she realized that I wasn't into that conversation, she decided that talking about Trump was the next best thing.
"You Like What You Saw?"
I picked up this woman from a bar. She is obviously too drunk to stand on her own. So a man who she was all over helped her get into my backseat and sent me on my way. In my head, I was thinking he's gonna get a second date.
I noticed that her destination was 45 mins away from where I picked her up. So my assumption that it was a work outing or whatever. Next thing I know her phone rings, she picks up and says "Hey honey! The Uber is bringing me home!" Hangs up and says to me "Man my husband is so annoying asking why I'm out so late." Turns out she was having affair with the previous guy that helped her in my back seat. But that's not the crazy part.
She starts complaining she has to pee, I told her I can't pull over for her to pee since we are on a highway. She starts crying and begging and I finally give in because I didn't want piss in my car. So I pull over, she gets out and starts peeing. Next thing I know the door opens, she still has her pants down to her ankles and just climbs back into my car and falls asleep. At this point I'm freaking out because she can blame me for anything at this point.
So we are 10 mins from her house and she wakes up finally. She realizes the state she is in and immediately apologizes to me. But before she pulls up her pants she says to me "You like what you saw?" And pulled her pants up and went to her husband. I got 5 stars and a $5 tip for that.
Peeing Out The Windows
I picked up 4 college students late at night from the bar area in town. None of them were really that drunk it seemed like. One of the guys asks me to get them home fast because he really has to pee. I jokingly say "Why wait? My window is right there."
Without skipping a beat, 3 of the 4 guys roll down their windows, stand up, whip out their junks and started peeing out my car windows while I was driving down the highway at 2 in the morning.
- Bobby408
Brazilian Frog Venom
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I work Lyft in Los Angeles. A couple of months back I picked up a middle aged Asian woman who seemed rather ill. She immediately let me know that she may pass out in the backseat on the way to the airport but assured me that everything is fine. I asked what was wrong, she had just come from a holistic practice where they injected Brazilian frog venom into her leg as a cancer testament. This was her second time doing such a thing. Nice lady. Interestingly enough she also worked in the medical field, yet still sprung for such an alternative treatment.
- B_don
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.