Professionals Reveal Insider Secrets That Would Scandalize Outsiders
Ever wonder what industry insiders know that you, the customer, don't? If so, this thread is for you. Take a glimpse at the secrets businesses don't want you to know.
matthewesp asked: What's a dirty secret that everybody in your industry knows about but anyone outside of your line of work would be scandalized to hear?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Invisible ink, sort of.
When repairing furniture, a lot of times we just use a marker to cover up scratches. Granted they're carefully selected to match the color of course, but they're still just normal markers.
A building my mom cleans was just massively remodeled. They have nice wood desks, and one of the remodeling guys scratched one up badly.
He used the marker method....but he didn't do it right, it just looks like a kid came in and scribbled a sharpie on it.
Mind. Blown.
Water stains on wood furniture can be removed with mayo. (I work with furniture too *fist bump*).
Back in the 1990s, I was watching a playoff hockey game on TV at my Mom's house with a friend. We ordered a pizza and when it was delivered, we set it on my Mother's prized possession walnut table in her living room.
From the time I was little, I learned not to put anything on this table. I know it makes little sense, but think of how grandmas cover furniture with plastic. The living room was not to be jacked up in any way.
Anyway, after the game was over, I picked up the pizza box and found white markings all over the table. I think the heat had lifted years of furniture wax and transmogrified it into a living nightmare for me. I couldn't sleep all night.
I carefully arranged some table decor to hide the mess and hoped that my Mom wouldn't find it. The next day I headed to the library (this was before the internet) as soon as it opened and looked through every Hints from Heloise book I could find. I found something about using mayo to fix water stains on wood furniture. It wasn't exactly what I was looking for, but it was all I had. I went home and grabbed the mayo. It actually worked!!! It took a LOT of rubbing, but you cannot imagine the relief I felt as the markings disappeared.
Ha. I'm just picturing her walking in when you have the table covered in mayo and whooping your a**.
It's just business.
Lawyers generally do not dislike each other.
The prosecutor for your son's case and his defense attorney may very well be good friends.
My brother upon finding this out went and got a new lawyer, who basically told him, "Hey literally every lawyer in this area is at the very least golfing buddies with that guy."
My brother doesn't have the best sense for one reason or another and while he's sticking with this new lawyer he still can't wrap his head around the fact these guys aren't with or against him once the clock strikes five and gets pissy about how they're "probably plotting against" him.
When I was a corporate litigation lawyer, I was taking a deposition on a $40M+ case. The lawyer defending the deposition was really aggressive about instructing the witness not to answer and it got heated between the two of us. Screaming at each other, threatening to call the judge's hotline on each other, unilaterally pausing the deposition to argue in the hall.
After it was over, I mentioned I was probably going to miss my flight because the deposition took so long. He offered to drive me to the airport and we ended up bonding over liking the same music and both being stoners. He got me there in time to make the flight.
Raise your hand if you're shocked.
Parcels marked fragile are treated exactly the same as every other parcel.
I'm an ex USPS worker. I can confirm, but I still mark packages fragile that I ship for eBay. It makes the buyer feel like you took precaution.
I mean... why go home when there are free bagels?
Tech companies that offer breakfast, lunch, dinners, and other amazing-sounding perks are just doing whatever they can to keep you at work for as long as possible.
This was such a huge bummer to realize. I work in IT for a generic manufacturing company and always wanted to get a job with one of the big tech firms. Then I realized they give you all those perks so you can justify working 80 hours a week. I put in like, 35.
My company just started rolling out complimentary snacks and such in the kitchen, and thus far, it's been an abysmal failure. On the low end, things are gone mere moments after they're restocked for the day. On the high end, those in charge of maintaining the program have confused human nature with a vast conspiracy theory, and now being caught eating something even remotely healthy-ish is grounds for and inquest as to where you got it and when.
This wouldn't be problematic if I didn't bring my own oatmeal from home, which is one of their daily offerings.
ALL NATCH BRUH.
Those totally jacked-up personal trainers didn't get that way from the protein supplement they're trying to sell you.
Creatine + Shake Weight = 22" biceps. Pretty sure.
Want real live calls? Watch C-SPAN.
Almost all of the calls you hear on your local radio station are not LIVE. They were recorded during the last song or during a commercial break. There are many sneaky ways to make a call sound LIVE.
Thank you for saying this! Too many people cant understand that phone calls on air are clunky and awkward. If it goes smoothly, it's fake. You can tell when Everyone understands each other perfectly the first time without saying "what" , dropping a call, cutting out, or talking over each other. But over in the talk radio section where real calls are actually Happening, getting live callers to the point quickly is pain staking.
Edit: You can tell that I am live and not a recording because of my awkward pane steaks
I want it.
Not really my industry anymore, but I used to work in a pet store (and now I work for a vet that works closely with several pet stores): if you're in a pet store that sells snakes, there's like a 75% chance at any given time that there's a snake loose in there.
What about anoles? I hear they tend to bolt for the exit any time you open the cage to feed them or change their water.
Worked at a pet store. Our rates were 75% chance of a loose snake, 50% chance of a loose anole or frog (we kept them in a big community terrarium) and 30% chance of a loose crestie, since they're jumpy asf
My local pet store had an escaped leopard gecko that had gone really aggressive. I asked to see it once (it was in the top cage) it jumped out of the cage just to attack the employee. It was hands down the most badass leopard gecko I've ever met.
Wonder why?
Drug abuse of every kind is normalized in the restaurant industry. It's crazy how many alcoholics/casual cocaine users I've worked with.
Although heavy drugs are very much frowned upon, people will boast about killing a bottle of expensive whiskey the other night.
In my restaurant experience the heavy drugs weren't even frowned upon. The kitchen staff sold to everyone who worked there(definitely including management), and that was considered the "nice" restaurant in town. At any given moment the whole staff is probably high/drunk.
Good cake is good cake.
I work at a grocery store bakery and the cake comes to us frozen. We hand decorate most everything, but the cake part is baked at our warehouse and shipped to us frozen. People are genuinely shocked that we don't make every single thing from scratch every day. That would take so long, there's no way. My own family raved about how good our cakes are and when I told them how they come suddenly they're garbage. It's just a grocery store, idk why everyone expects hand crafted artisanal cakes baked fresh every 10 minutes.
Edit: just to clear this up in case you're imagining rock hard frozen cake, they don't get solid like ice. You can cut them while they're frozen or even crumble them up with your hands. They get way softer after they thaw but tbh some cakes taste better if eaten while frozen. Chocolate especially IMO.
I worked for Starbucks for a long time and this is super relatable.
No ma'am, no one came in and baked all these pastries so you could have cheese danish at 5 in the morning, it came from a freezer.
This Store Clerk's Reaction To A Stolen Sneaker Prank Should Earn Him Employee Of The Month
Twitter user @HarvinthSkin decided to give a sales associate as his local shoe store a heart attack with a silly prank. All over the internet, people are sharing the prank and sending their well-wishes to the poor worker who experienced a moment of pure panic!
I had to give it a try? ๐๐คท๐พโโ๏ธ Instagram : @harvinthskin https://t.co/Am45kGWYLQโ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543237039.0
Don't worry too much about the unfortunate sales employee, howeverโit turns out he was given a raise as a consolation shortly thereafter!
I apologised and gave man like Martin a hug after that! ๐๐๐ JD Sports, give him a raise! ๐ต Do not try this unless youโre Zizan โ๏ธโ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543238141.0
The owner of the shoe store made clear to Skin that his employees were not to be messed with.
IM SO HAPPY THAT MAN LIKE MARTIN IS SEEN HERE WITH THE BOSS OF JD SPORTS ASIA AND IS GETTING A RAISE FOR HIS VALIANโฆ https://t.co/vL5QO2xCB5โ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543300966.0
The Big Boss of JD Sports MY! Fuck me ๐๐๐๐๐๐ https://t.co/nq3O0bdS92โ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543239495.0
On Twitter, people loved the sales clerk's reaction to Skin running out of the store.
@harvinthskin That sales be like https://t.co/0i27D7vIWKโ Ignasius Kurniawan (@Ignasius Kurniawan) 1543239042.0
@harvinthskin Best one yet cause he went out the store lmaoโ Andradรฉ (@Andradรฉ) 1543265867.0
Some thought they may have reacted differently in the same situation...
@harvinthskin @thirdeyescribe Me watching you run out of the store like https://t.co/31kkJcHjOVโ The Count ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ (@The Count ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ) 1543370777.0
But everyone got a good laugh out of the innocent prank.
@harvinthskin @kxsxhh This shit was so funny....it made my dayโ Manvir (@Manvir) 1543247327.0
@harvinthskin @queenb0414 ๐๐๐๐๐๐ https://t.co/bejrX57i6wโ ๐ (@๐) 1543275269.0
@harvinthskin @iced_coffeee https://t.co/bqP08ZK3r9โ Manuel Jr. (@Manuel Jr.) 1543358200.0
The incident also gave us some priceless reactions!
@harvinthskin โwhew my bruce lee almost came outโ https://t.co/SOUOZ4IzBEโ Nyree. (@Nyree.) 1543344926.0
@harvinthskin @ClassyyMocha ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฆโโ๏ธSaw his whole life n last paycheck that fast!!โ โFZA of FUPA-Tang Clan๐ง๐ฟ (@โFZA of FUPA-Tang Clan๐ง๐ฟ) 1543288463.0
@sofarhangone @harvinthskin @ChiSupreme @llma95_ Run up? More like run out!! https://t.co/HwHu2TT4vOโ Desi Kubrick (@Desi Kubrick) 1543320755.0
Remember, everyone: it's important to try before you buy!
@harvinthskin @mjcz1 @LeeODell84 @reevesyboi93 try before you buy. why notโ 494949494949 (@494949494949) 1543512590.0
High School Administration Under Fire For Breaking Into A Bathroom Stall While Transgender Student Was Using It
Cece is a 16-year-old transgender girl from Maple Grove, Minnesota.
She is a student at Osseo Senior High School and recently had a traumatic experience at school.
On Wednesday, Cece posted two videos, one of which is very disturbing, to her Facebook regarding an incident she experienced.
While Cece was using the bathroom at school, staff forced their way into the stall she was in.
Again, Cece is 16 years old.
Her post reads:
"SCHOOL OSSEO SEINOR HIGH ๐จ
I Guess I Can't Use The Girls Bathroom Just Because I'm Transgender ๐ Share This & MAKE IT GO VIRAL โผ๏ธ I Been Violating By Principal and Admin and Hallmonters
This Was Today 11/28/18 ๐ Ms Smith Had Nothing To Do With This"
One video showed all of the school officials she wanted to publicly name who participated in the incident.
The other showed the actual incident.
Cece's self-recorded video shows her sitting on the toilet with her pants down while a school official uses a makeshift device to reach over the stall to unlock the door.
A spokesperson for Osseo Schools stated:
"Social media posts are significantly misrepresenting the incident and that staff works very hard every day to help ensure an inclusive school where all students feel welcome, respected and safe."
They refused to comment further saying:
"We wish we could provide additional details about this incident but are committed to protecting the student's right to data privacy."
Some reports claim that Cece had previously been told not to use the women's restroom.
However, in 2017 the Minnesota Department of Education (MDOE) ruled in favor of students like Cece.
MDOE guidance states:
"Transgender and gender nonconforming students should be afforded the opportunity to use the restroom of their choice."
People also can not help but note the fact that at age 16, Cece is a minor.
Adults forcing themselves into her stall while she used the bathroom is even more appalling.
Moriah Skai Kiskaden (Facebook)
Look, guys, when a kid is in the bathroom stall with their pants down, and you pry open the stall, exposing them toโฆ https://t.co/rzMktZEkEBโ Thomas Page (@Thomas Page) 1543690840
This should be sexual assault assault of a minor. Anyone involved should IMMEDIATELY be relieved from their positioโฆ https://t.co/M5ByUSBvBPโ CrystalshineMarie (@CrystalshineMarie) 1543626160
Regardless of the unknown circumstances, the internet is outraged over the adult school staff's actions.
1st thing I saw this AM & now I canโt stop thinking about it. Unless she was assaulting another student, there isโฆ https://t.co/nkeudm8mANโ BadAssGrandma (@BadAssGrandma) 1543679009
Transphobic adults literally busted the bathroom door open on a trans high school student today in Minnesota bc theโฆ https://t.co/rojArsFW9Qโ mother sister (@mother sister) 1543465561
Look at the face of the woman who has unlocked the bathroom door!Arrogant assholes https://t.co/X98JSgHgMxโ Teresa Culhane (@Teresa Culhane) 1543698568
Cece's video and story has indeed gone viral. But what happens now remains to be seen.
H/T: Pink News, Facebook, Daily Dot, Bring Me The News
Kendall Jenner Wearing A Massive Winter Coat Is Like Lenny Kravitz's Scarf 2.0 ๐
We all love a good meme, and the best memes often imitate life. Model Kendall Jenner is the latest target of the Instagram account @itsmaysmemes, which photoshops celebrities in hilariously oversized outerwear.
At least it looks cozy...
Soon, Vogue France tweeted the image and all hell broke loose.
Winter is coming ! https://t.co/obJe6bO87Bโ Vogue.fr (@Vogue.fr) 1540199684.0
The caption reads:
"Winter is coming !"
Indeed.
People made their own versions.
@VogueParis @KendallJenner oh okay... https://t.co/Willu5LSlNโ ูleah (@ูleah) 1540383130.0
@VogueParis @KendallJenner Fixed it! https://t.co/ThTnfVSfvkโ sleepy jorge (@sleepy jorge) 1540480172.0
@VogueParis @KendallJenner https://t.co/p5CTJDEiqJโ Ty ยฉ๏ธ (@Ty ยฉ๏ธ) 1540502215.0
Some compared it to other strange fashion choices we've seen over the years.
@VogueParis @KendallJenner https://t.co/hnLvEvRJABโ Bouzid Van Der Woodsen (@Bouzid Van Der Woodsen) 1540230561.0
@VogueParis @KendallJenner New couple with @LennyKravitz?? https://t.co/oCS3WAi3Xdโ ใใใฐใ! (@ใใใฐใ!) 1540248515.0
@VogueParis @KendallJenner https://t.co/zAB6xKmu8Tโ TheBowLeggโdOne (@TheBowLeggโdOne) 1540471862.0
And there were those who had some pretty interesting ideas about what this looked like.
How your girl looks when she says she's cold and you give her your coat https://t.co/louipQI66kโ Jack Skellington (@Jack Skellington) 1540405914.0
This is what P.E. teachers would be wearing during winter while shouting at students to stop complaining that itโsโฆ https://t.co/5qDubio0mXโ ุงููุดุจุง (@ุงููุดุจุง) 1540392391.0
Perhaps we loved it because it did seem just avant garde enough for Jenner to actually wear. Turns out we all can! Well, sort of. The jacket is a digitally enlarged version of The Super Puff jacket at Aritzia. Even the non-Photoshopped version looks pretty cozy!
H/T: Huffington Post, Twitter
This Brand's Tweet History Is A Hilariously Fitting Representation Of A Brand's Life Cycle ๐
Carl's Croutons tried their hand at social media to advance their brand.
But their objective got derailed when their tweet ignited a confusing thread that sent everyone down the rabbit hole.
@topherflorence captured highlights from the thread that received over three thousand retweets for its zaniness alone.
Can you follow?
the history of every brand on twitter somehow https://t.co/fWVXsElCvrโ D๐CFUTURE (@D๐CFUTURE) 1540403954.0
The bread crumbs company endeavored to stir excitement for the brand by encouraging participation with the following tweet:
"Taking our first steps on the www!! tell us your favorite crouton recipes! #croutons #yum"
Harmless, right?
But somewhere along the way, the brand mixed business with politics. @religiousgames noticed that Carl's Croutons issued a one-word directive: vote.
The Twitter user asked, "What does it mean?"
@topherflorence What does it mean? https://t.co/IKifvva7baโ Vincent Gonzalez (@Vincent Gonzalez) 1540408943.0
Did the Carl's Croutons account manager get his social media account wires crossed? Possibly. But then we're not sure.
@topherflorence responded by saying, "lol that wasn't me i would posted something way dumber."
@religiousgames lol that wasn't me i woulda posted something way dumberโ D๐CFUTURE (@D๐CFUTURE) 1540409220.0
The following tweet from Carl's Croutons attempted damage control:
"Carl's Crutons [sic] regrets the inappropriate tweet from earlier and we sincerely apologize to the people of The Republic of Malta."
So how did Carl's Croutons insult the Republic of Malta?
@topherflorence @oggborbis ...how did they insult Malta? I need to know.โ astronaatti (@astronaatti) 1540405285.0
@Bestorb shed some light on why the Southern European island country may have been insulted by sharing a YouTube clip of episode 1008, "Final Justice," from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Did it have something to do with the country's dominant population of women?
@astronaatti @topherflorence @oggborbis https://t.co/9imm31y8cMโ Nick Bestor (@Nick Bestor) 1540429565.0
The thread spun off in all different directions.
@topherflorence @xoxogossipgita laughing hardest at crouton recipesโ super normal internet (@super normal internet) 1540492558.0
@topherflorence That last one is life ๐๐ฝโ Rich F. Santiago (@Rich F. Santiago) 1540418084.0
@topherflorence WOW this was a ride.โ Jackal's Husband, Yuko (@Jackal's Husband, Yuko) 1540405005.0
@ItsBobberto @topherflorence @austin_walker Late stage social media.โ Mr. Jackpots (@Mr. Jackpots) 1540435914.0
There were many takeaways from the esoteric thread, but the one directive really stood out.
@topherflorence @MaxKriegerVG Haha, you got me. But seriously, vote.โ Benoit Doidic (@Benoit Doidic) 1540414697.0
@topherflorence @zoebread Clever girl. https://t.co/i5VB74s8F9โ brott rambler but spooky (@brott rambler but spooky) 1540478919.0
@topherflorence @NoraReed This was a wild ride.โ Queer Eye for the Animorphs Reboot (@Queer Eye for the Animorphs Reboot) 1540412903.0
@topherflorence @seangentille Iโm experiencing a new level of cringe right nowโ Helle Hansen ๐ธ (@Helle Hansen ๐ธ) 1540423182.0
@topherflorence @ZaaackKoootzer This is the greatest thing I've seen all dayโ your very own monica bellucci dream (@your very own monica bellucci dream) 1540406700.0
@topherflorence @spacetwinks Optimistic engagement. Regret. 'How do you do, fellow kids.' Unity through shared outrโฆ https://t.co/6VGrLNPZVpโ Ink-stained @ MFF 2018 (@Ink-stained @ MFF 2018) 1540405582.0
@topherflorence @spacetwinks 2 is where they decided to hire a social media manager. 3 is when they decided to hire a different one.โ Ink-stained @ MFF 2018 (@Ink-stained @ MFF 2018) 1540412100.0
@LaserBlade @topherflorence yeah i actually think they're pretty good croutons but then again they pay me to say thatโ cool dog mowing lawn (@cool dog mowing lawn) 1540436982.0
@topherflorence @mattfx This is magically funny like Goofy doing an unannounced set in a small black roomโ M๐R (@M๐R) 1540482697.0
@topherflorence @ZaaackKoootzer This is the greatest thing I've seen all dayโ your very own monica bellucci dream (@your very own monica bellucci dream) 1540406700.0
There's still an unanswered question.
@topherflorence I need to know the Malta story thoโ NeoSorosbot (@NeoSorosbot) 1540423045.0
So who is Carl's Croutons anyway? Nobody knows. Just vote.