Professionals Reveal Insider Secrets That Would Scandalize Outsiders
Ever wonder what industry insiders know that you, the customer, don't? If so, this thread is for you. Take a glimpse at the secrets businesses don't want you to know.
matthewesp asked: What's a dirty secret that everybody in your industry knows about but anyone outside of your line of work would be scandalized to hear?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Invisible ink, sort of.
When repairing furniture, a lot of times we just use a marker to cover up scratches. Granted they're carefully selected to match the color of course, but they're still just normal markers.
A building my mom cleans was just massively remodeled. They have nice wood desks, and one of the remodeling guys scratched one up badly.
He used the marker method....but he didn't do it right, it just looks like a kid came in and scribbled a sharpie on it.
Mind. Blown.
Water stains on wood furniture can be removed with mayo. (I work with furniture too *fist bump*).
Back in the 1990s, I was watching a playoff hockey game on TV at my Mom's house with a friend. We ordered a pizza and when it was delivered, we set it on my Mother's prized possession walnut table in her living room.
From the time I was little, I learned not to put anything on this table. I know it makes little sense, but think of how grandmas cover furniture with plastic. The living room was not to be jacked up in any way.
Anyway, after the game was over, I picked up the pizza box and found white markings all over the table. I think the heat had lifted years of furniture wax and transmogrified it into a living nightmare for me. I couldn't sleep all night.
I carefully arranged some table decor to hide the mess and hoped that my Mom wouldn't find it. The next day I headed to the library (this was before the internet) as soon as it opened and looked through every Hints from Heloise book I could find. I found something about using mayo to fix water stains on wood furniture. It wasn't exactly what I was looking for, but it was all I had. I went home and grabbed the mayo. It actually worked!!! It took a LOT of rubbing, but you cannot imagine the relief I felt as the markings disappeared.
Ha. I'm just picturing her walking in when you have the table covered in mayo and whooping your a**.
It's just business.
Lawyers generally do not dislike each other.
The prosecutor for your son's case and his defense attorney may very well be good friends.
My brother upon finding this out went and got a new lawyer, who basically told him, "Hey literally every lawyer in this area is at the very least golfing buddies with that guy."
My brother doesn't have the best sense for one reason or another and while he's sticking with this new lawyer he still can't wrap his head around the fact these guys aren't with or against him once the clock strikes five and gets pissy about how they're "probably plotting against" him.
When I was a corporate litigation lawyer, I was taking a deposition on a $40M+ case. The lawyer defending the deposition was really aggressive about instructing the witness not to answer and it got heated between the two of us. Screaming at each other, threatening to call the judge's hotline on each other, unilaterally pausing the deposition to argue in the hall.
After it was over, I mentioned I was probably going to miss my flight because the deposition took so long. He offered to drive me to the airport and we ended up bonding over liking the same music and both being stoners. He got me there in time to make the flight.
Raise your hand if you're shocked.
Parcels marked fragile are treated exactly the same as every other parcel.
I'm an ex USPS worker. I can confirm, but I still mark packages fragile that I ship for eBay. It makes the buyer feel like you took precaution.
I mean... why go home when there are free bagels?
Tech companies that offer breakfast, lunch, dinners, and other amazing-sounding perks are just doing whatever they can to keep you at work for as long as possible.
This was such a huge bummer to realize. I work in IT for a generic manufacturing company and always wanted to get a job with one of the big tech firms. Then I realized they give you all those perks so you can justify working 80 hours a week. I put in like, 35.
My company just started rolling out complimentary snacks and such in the kitchen, and thus far, it's been an abysmal failure. On the low end, things are gone mere moments after they're restocked for the day. On the high end, those in charge of maintaining the program have confused human nature with a vast conspiracy theory, and now being caught eating something even remotely healthy-ish is grounds for and inquest as to where you got it and when.
This wouldn't be problematic if I didn't bring my own oatmeal from home, which is one of their daily offerings.
ALL NATCH BRUH.
Those totally jacked-up personal trainers didn't get that way from the protein supplement they're trying to sell you.
Creatine + Shake Weight = 22" biceps. Pretty sure.
Want real live calls? Watch C-SPAN.
Almost all of the calls you hear on your local radio station are not LIVE. They were recorded during the last song or during a commercial break. There are many sneaky ways to make a call sound LIVE.
Thank you for saying this! Too many people cant understand that phone calls on air are clunky and awkward. If it goes smoothly, it's fake. You can tell when Everyone understands each other perfectly the first time without saying "what" , dropping a call, cutting out, or talking over each other. But over in the talk radio section where real calls are actually Happening, getting live callers to the point quickly is pain staking.
Edit: You can tell that I am live and not a recording because of my awkward pane steaks
I want it.
Not really my industry anymore, but I used to work in a pet store (and now I work for a vet that works closely with several pet stores): if you're in a pet store that sells snakes, there's like a 75% chance at any given time that there's a snake loose in there.
What about anoles? I hear they tend to bolt for the exit any time you open the cage to feed them or change their water.
Worked at a pet store. Our rates were 75% chance of a loose snake, 50% chance of a loose anole or frog (we kept them in a big community terrarium) and 30% chance of a loose crestie, since they're jumpy asf
My local pet store had an escaped leopard gecko that had gone really aggressive. I asked to see it once (it was in the top cage) it jumped out of the cage just to attack the employee. It was hands down the most badass leopard gecko I've ever met.
Wonder why?
Drug abuse of every kind is normalized in the restaurant industry. It's crazy how many alcoholics/casual cocaine users I've worked with.
Although heavy drugs are very much frowned upon, people will boast about killing a bottle of expensive whiskey the other night.
In my restaurant experience the heavy drugs weren't even frowned upon. The kitchen staff sold to everyone who worked there(definitely including management), and that was considered the "nice" restaurant in town. At any given moment the whole staff is probably high/drunk.
Good cake is good cake.
I work at a grocery store bakery and the cake comes to us frozen. We hand decorate most everything, but the cake part is baked at our warehouse and shipped to us frozen. People are genuinely shocked that we don't make every single thing from scratch every day. That would take so long, there's no way. My own family raved about how good our cakes are and when I told them how they come suddenly they're garbage. It's just a grocery store, idk why everyone expects hand crafted artisanal cakes baked fresh every 10 minutes.
Edit: just to clear this up in case you're imagining rock hard frozen cake, they don't get solid like ice. You can cut them while they're frozen or even crumble them up with your hands. They get way softer after they thaw but tbh some cakes taste better if eaten while frozen. Chocolate especially IMO.
I worked for Starbucks for a long time and this is super relatable.
No ma'am, no one came in and baked all these pastries so you could have cheese danish at 5 in the morning, it came from a freezer.
George R.R. Martin Just Confirmed A Popular 'Game Of Thrones' Fan Theory About White Walkers
Game of Thrones scribe George R.R. Martin is promoting his new book in the A Song of Ice and Fire series, and provided insight into a group of characters fans have been waiting to learn more about.
As an author known to inject symbolism into the fantastical worlds he creates, Martin revealed that the icy group of White Walkers from Game of Thrones personified climate change.
What the ancient humanoid race of icy creatures stand for is a concept many have theorized all along.
Now fans received confirmation from the author himself.
Martin may have prognosticated climate change while he was writing GoT. The cold that transcends upon Westeros sounds eerily familiar.
"It's kind of ironic," Martin told the New York Times.
"Because I started writing 'Game of Thrones' all the way back in 1991, long before anybody was talking about climate change."
"But there is — in a very broad sense — there's a certain parallel there. And the people in Westeros are fighting their individual battles over power and status and wealth."
He added:
"And those are so distracting them that they're ignoring the threat of 'winter is coming,' which has the potential to destroy all of them and to destroy their world."
"And there is a great parallel there to, I think, what I see this planet doing here, where we're fighting our own battles. We're fighting over issues, important issues, mind you — foreign policy, domestic policy, civil rights, social responsibility, social justice. All of these things are important."
Martin continued:
"But while we're tearing ourselves apart over this and expending so much energy, there exists this threat of climate change, which, to my mind, is conclusively proved by most of the data and 99.9 percent of the scientific community. And it really has the potential to destroy our world."
"And we're ignoring that while we worry about the next election and issues that people are concerned about, like jobs."
Marten stressed the importance of caring for the environment, adding that protecting it should be a top priority.
"So really, climate change should be the number one priority for any politician who is capable of looking past the next election."
"We spend 10 times as much energy and thought and debate in the media discussing whether or not N.F.L. players should stand for the national anthem than this threat that's going to destroy our world."
When the author was asked if he could "pick the best real-world, present-day match — politicians, celebrities" and pair them up with corresponding characters from his novels, Martin answered: "Pass."
Fire and Blood: 300 Years Before a Game of Thrones, is expected to be released on November 20.
H/T - NYtimes, Twitter, Mentalfloss
This Brand's Tweet History Is A Hilariously Fitting Representation Of A Brand's Life Cycle 😂
Carl's Croutons tried their hand at social media to advance their brand.
But their objective got derailed when their tweet ignited a confusing thread that sent everyone down the rabbit hole.
@topherflorence captured highlights from the thread that received over three thousand retweets for its zaniness alone.
Can you follow?
The bread crumbs company endeavored to stir excitement for the brand by encouraging participation with the following tweet:
"Taking our first steps on the www!! tell us your favorite crouton recipes! #croutons #yum"
Harmless, right?

But somewhere along the way, the brand mixed business with politics. @religiousgames noticed that Carl's Croutons issued a one-word directive: vote.
The Twitter user asked, "What does it mean?"
Did the Carl's Croutons account manager get his social media account wires crossed? Possibly. But then we're not sure.
@topherflorence responded by saying, "lol that wasn't me i would posted something way dumber."
The following tweet from Carl's Croutons attempted damage control:
"Carl's Crutons [sic] regrets the inappropriate tweet from earlier and we sincerely apologize to the people of The Republic of Malta."

So how did Carl's Croutons insult the Republic of Malta?
@Bestorb shed some light on why the Southern European island country may have been insulted by sharing a YouTube clip of episode 1008, "Final Justice," from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Did it have something to do with the country's dominant population of women?
The thread spun off in all different directions.


There were many takeaways from the esoteric thread, but the one directive really stood out.
There's still an unanswered question.
So who is Carl's Croutons anyway? Nobody knows. Just vote.
Clever Dog Tricks McDonald's Customers Into Feeding Her By Pretending To Be A Stray 😂
It's a dog eat dog world out there and sometimes a girl has to do what a girl has to do. At least that's what one dog owner realized when she caught her pooch trolling the streets looking for an easy meal.
Facebook user Betsy Reyes busted her dog Princess who was out moonlighting as a stray in order to play on the sympathies of strangers. It seems Princess likes to wander off to her favorite hangout, the local McDonald's, and work the drive through lane like a pro.
And that's what she did right up until Reyes busted her scam. Reyes, who lives in Oklahoma City, took to Facebook and outed Princess in the most hysterical way, saying:
"If you see my dog @ the McDonald's on shields, quit feeding her fat ass bc she don't know how to act & be leaving the house all the time to go walking to McDonald's at night. She's not even a stray dog. She's just a gold diggin ass bitch that be acting like she's a stray so people will feel bad for her & feed her burgers."
Lots of scammers out there.
It's an adorable story, but maybe get the dog a collar with identification?
Not everyone thought the story was cute.
Of course, when a girl's gotta eat, a girl's gotta eat.
Let's hope Princess has learned her lesson and stays home.
H/T: Huffington Post, Mashable
This Creepy Robot Phone Attachment Moves Just Like A Real Human Finger
Tapping on and swiping your mobile device just got a whole lot creepier thanks to an unnecessary invention. But there's clearly a market for these kinds of things, amirite?.
Introducing – MobiLimb, a finger-like attachment to your phone or tablet that aims to make your life easier and give you nightmares in the process.
The MobiLimb was created by researchers in France and is made up of "five servo motors, an Arduino microcontroller and a sensor, and it can do a number of unsettling things that are straight out of nightmares," according to Engadget.
Marc Teyssier, a PhD student and one of the researchers behind the project for the dismembered limb, legitimized its existence.
"In the spirit of human augmentation, which aims at overcoming human body limitations by using robotic devices, our approach aims at overcoming mobile device limitations (static, passive, motionless) by using a robotic limb."
Th MobiLimb can prop itself up so you can watch a video, or provide an alternate way to grip your device.
But there's one function that is really disturbing.
The articulated digit can be skinned to resemble a human finger, and it can stroke your wrist while you're using your phone.
Someone implied that single people could benefit from this invention as a companion.
What would the next-generation MobiLimb offer consumers?
The attachment could come in handy should an unfortunate life-changing incident were to occur.
But the gadget is still giving people goosebumps.
Others saw a more erotic potential.
Now here's a function not advertised by MobiLimb's creators.
Feelings are mixed. But the jury is in.
As to why such a creepy gadget was invented, we can't quite put our finger on it. But then, when it comes to consumers' needs, these guys may be out of touch.
















