You're under arrest.
But somehow it doesn't stop there. People get crazy while handcuffed in the back of squad cars... and police officers are over it.
So u/pimphatmanatee asked the Police officers of Reddit to unload some of their stories:
Police officers of Reddit, what is the weirdest thing someone has done in the back of your squad car?
Here were some of the answers.
My buddy works a different section than me. Anyways, he books a guy for Public Intox, homeless dude acting a fool. While driving to the magistrates, he sees the dude hunched over crying from the backseat camera. He asked him whats wrong and the guy says he doesn't feel well and he needs EMS. My buddy stops and opens the back seat and blood in running down his leg. My buddy, thinking this dude has a laceration or something starts to get out his tourniquet for his leg. Unbuckles him, and tries to get his pants off only to see that its no cut and blood is discharging from his penis. My buddy is in shock and calls for EMS immediately.
My brother is a cop. Had a female stash her iPhone in her vagina so they couldn't go through her call records (I forget why) while in his car. Took a female officer an hour to retrieve it. Suspect sneezed and it went skidding across the floor. Was bagged for evidence.
Sheriff Deputy here. I arrested a one arm sex worker and forgot to take her phone away so while on our way to jail she called 911 to say she was being kidnapped. Dispatch told the entire county what's up (while laughing) and that was embarrassing to explain to everyone after I got back.
I have a patient who is a cop. Apparently there's a lot of pooping happening in the back of police cars.
Local town PoPo here. I work in municipality of about 8000 residents and we run usually 2-3 coppers to a shift. It's not a crazy busy town but we have our nutty calls. Anyways, we are supposed to have an animal control guy who is sent to catch all the runaway dogs in town. At the time he was out on medical leave for rolling his ankle while attempting to lasso a raccoon. In his absence, us patrolmen are supposed to respond and catch all the loose doggos.
On this particular day I had been called to a cute black and white Pitbull male adult by the name of Viking running rampant in our town. I locate him and he was just so happy see me, wagging his tale and licking like there was no tomorrow. He had dog tags with an address and number, so he hopped in the back of my car as mah new k-9 pal and we where off to reunite him with his family.
Just as we pull off we get an all hands on deck call of a drunk female battering a shop clerk and trashing his store because he won't sell her alcohol. So with Viking riding In the back, I hit the ole cherries and berries and we take off to assist my partner who had already been close to the call.
As I arrived my partner had already taken her out of the store and put her in handcuffs. She was still upset crying and screaming about how she didn't do anything (clearly). I take a peek inside to see his store utterly trashed, beef jerky and chips ahoy thrown about. Shelving and fixtures completely ripped down and destroyed. Sometime during the altercation little pints of Ben and Jerry's ice cream had been thrown as our drunken lady offender was covered in what I thought to be "chubby hubby".
Anyways, just being my partner and I on the street, he had to stay back and get the info for the report, while I had to transport our Peanutty-pretzel ice cream covered arrestee.
At this point our arrestee has calmed down enough for her to cooperate with me and willingly walk to my squad car. Having no other option and Viking being the friendliest good boi there was, I buckled our drunken lady in right next to Viking. She seemed happy with Viking and of course Viking was all about making a new friend. All was right in the world. I turn my camera on as I do with all my transports, and let her know she's being recorded.
As I'm driving back to the station (about a 10 minute ride) it starts to get weird. As all good dogs like ice cream, Viking was no different. He began to lick the ice cream off of my arrestee. No big deal, I look back in the mirror to see Viking cleaning up our offender and she seems to not mind. In fact she seemed to really enjoy it.
Then she starts really enjoying it. I look back in the mirror to see Viking licking the inside of my arrestees mouth with my arrestee straight French kissing my pitty.
Nope! I pull the car over and let Viking out to ride shotgun. He hops out happy as a clam and licking his chops as he got his ice cream fill. My arrestee is laughing in the backseat. I transported her to the station. I then dropped Viking off at his dog parents house. I decided not to let them know about his little excursion. Probably for the best.
Viking still escapes and runs around town every once in awhile, but now I just give him a few pets and bring him straight home.
Not a cop, guess I have to a be a robber... my best friend, boyfriend and I take some LSD after school one Friday night. Something was laced with it. Watched my face melt for awhile in the bathroom mirror, had relations with my boyfriend in the back of his car, enjoyed the black and white checkered tornado above his head, kept repeating "help Henry, my elbows are shaking" (don't know anyone named Henry), he thought I was crazy so he stripped down, ran 12 blocks to the local "crazy hospital" (was actually a huge concert arena) to check me in as a patient, no one answered so he threw rocks through a window. True love. Cops came and got him. Meanwhile, my bestie discovered a stray kitten and sat outside petting that thing for hours. I decided barbs were coming out of my skin, so in order to save my clothes, I took them off and buried them. Naked, covered in dirt, immune to temperature, I decide to knock on all the doors of the apartment complex because the knocks each made a wah-wah-wah reverb sound. Cops get called on my naked a**. Cat lady friend and naked me get thrown into the back of the cruiser while they sort out wtf is going on with these teenagers. She had a lighter. Decided I was evil. Lit my hair on fire. Spent the next few hours tied to a gurney in the padded room at the hospital. I was an upper-middle class, straight A student. My poor parents thought I was possessed. Good times.
Alright, so a bit of a switch here. I was in the back of the car, cuffed and everything, but if you've ever been arrested you know they do that thing every 30 seconds or so where they look in the mirror to make sure you're not planning anything, and I wasn't having a great day but still had enough humour to know what the I was about to do for the 40 min car ride......
Officer looks back;
Officer checks again, presumably confused;
winks one eye at a time (The signature cultist blink)
Officer, now concerned
This went on for 40 minutes, keep in mind he was probably new on the job, he looked about 25-30 and I was a 17 year old girl, just silently sitting and winking.
To make a long story short:
A guy on hallucinogenic drugs had taken a whole lot of viagra thinking it was Pez. Cuffed him and had him in the back of the car, which he thought was a limo, and he was trying to get his arms either under or over his body. He was high enough that I was kinda worried he'd succeed and fracture/dislocate something in the process, but we already had him strapped in as much as we could and decided to book it back to the station.
Best friends a cop. Actual text I received:
"Dude. We just arrested some guy with no legs in a wheelchair. We got him in the back of the squad car. While we did he proceeded to pee himself. Not sure how he managed this. I hate people."
Oodles Of Poodles
So about 2 years ago My friend and I were hanging out when he started telling me this crazy story that happened with him and his mom the day prior
Well, My friend's mom was walking her two dogs in a lesser than nice part but not the worst part of LA when this older disheveled woman came up and started petting the dogs and talking about how much she loved them, after about 10 mins of them talking she tried to steal these two giant poodles and my friend immediately called the cops.
After a 15 minute struggle between my friends mom and this woman the police came because someone called the cops. They arrested the woman who, when she got into the back of the car, decided to start pleasure herself...
The Gross Scale
Took a really drunk guy to the hospital after spending some time in our holding cells. Dude, spit a giant puddle of loogies on my plastic seat. I asked him to clean it up, intending him to wipe it up with his sweat pants. Instead he bent down and zamboni'd (sucked up the spit) with his mouth. On the scale of gross things i've seen this is pretty minor.
Around 1981-1982 I got a job at car wash in NJ. It was full service: you pull up and get out. We would vacuum, prep, put the car on the line, then dry it at the end, and off you go. We did a lot of cop cars.
As a n00b, my co-workers told me to always check deep in the rear seat cushions because sometimes you get "treasure". When cops busted people, they would check the rear seats but often did a mere cursory check. So sometimes treasure would be stuck in there really deep.
So, my first cop car to vacuum, I ran my fingers deep in the rear seat cushions. BAM! I felt something. A baggie. I fished it out and surreptitiously put it in my pocket (the cops were watching from behind window glass). At my break, I checked it out: a baggie with five joints! Free! For me!
That was a good night. Cop car treasure!
Schizophrenic having a personality crisis admitting another personality killed his mom.
Yeah...that s*** will mess with you.
Got arrested for drinking at a party when I was 17. I told the cops before they cuffed me and threw me in the car that I really had to pee but they didn't wanna let me use the bathroom (found out later it was because they thought I was going to flush drugs down the toilet) so while cuffed I somehow managed to pull my pants down to my knees from behind. Leaned over and peed all over the floor of the back seat. Ended up getting in more trouble for that than drinking in the first place.
Funny thing is I found out a year or 2 later that the cop who was driving me back at the time lives 3 blocks away from me and is actually a pretty chill guy. Now I'm 21 and we hang out at the bar sometimes and laugh about the story.
The pressure to fit in when you're a young person is no joke. It seems like, daily, your emotional and physical safety hinges on you passing as "cool"--whatever that means. "Cool" can mean different things for different people. But when it comes to the things the "popular" kids think is cool--it might actually be destructive or dangerous.
But thankfully, just like trends, what is "cool" and what is not is also liable to change with time. And as generations move on and on, the landscape of what is "cool" changes. Some of the awful things that were cool when we were younger are no longer cool.
And that's probably for the best.
"What are you glad isn't 'cool' anymore?"
Here were some of those answers.
A Hole In The Ozone Above My Head
"Perms and aerosol hair spray. In the 80s you rarely had one without the other."
"I had permed hair from the age of 5 until college. And the wall in my bathroom that was opposite the mirror had a thick layer of hair spray permanently covering it."-ShallowLily
Mustache You A Question
"There was also that sub-trend of drawing a mustache on your finger and put it underneath your nose to do some sort of quirky selfie."
"I remember some people actually tatooed it on their fingers and I'm wondering how it's going for them now."-Skeledenn
Mid Aughts Eat Your Heart Out
"Layering shirts over a ton of cami tank tops."
"At least, I hope this trend is dead, because I had to do it since every shirt was tissue-paper thin."
"Can we please go back to shirts being opaque please? I'm tired of having to wear 3 layers just so I don't look like I wore only my bra to work."-Empty-Masterpiece242
Can't you find yourself sighing from relief that some of these things are no longer "in"?
It Was Also The 90s
"The early 2000's make up trends consisting of Orange foundation, extremely pale pink lipstick and ruler-drawn extra thin eyebrows."
"Please God never bring this sh*t again..."-Sohiacci
A Language, Not A Picture
"You get people with tattoos like '無料' because they went to the tattoo artist and said 'I want a tattoo that says I'm free!'"
"And they got a tattoo that says 'I'm free'... meaning 'I don't cost anything.'"-ppardee
"Don't forget when Ariana XL got a tattoo of 七輪, which is made up of characters that mean seven and ring, but as a word refers to a small charcoal grill."-Sharpevil
The Axe Years
"Men drowning themselves in axe body spray. I remember jr. high and the hallways would reek and almost everyone re-upped at their lockers between classes."
"Axe might as well make an Arctic-marijuana scent because I think people only use it now to cover up smoke smell but it doesn't really work."-Trolling_turd
It's All Bacon
"The bacon everything craze from about 10 years ago. Bacon flavored or scented everything, and so many memes about how bacon was like the greatest thing in human history. Like, it's okay."-NYArtFan1
"The meal itself could be subpar but because they've added bacon to it they feel it's gourmet or something. The burger sucks but it's $20 because we've added bacon."-Duffmanlager
And now, looking back, you're probably wondering why these things had such a long shelf life in the first place.
Just Like Axe
"Love Spell from Victoria secret. Like seriously I hate it now. Growing up the girls that went to school with me would bathe themselves in it. Especially during things like prom, winter formals, and any other events the school had."
"I got made fun of because I would wear other smells like cucumber melon and sweet pea. Yes I realize sweet pea smells like old lady. However, anything else was better than smelling a sea of f**king love spell."
"It also got me brownie points with the teachers. The older ones liked the smell and the younger ones shared my opinion on it. One day after gym, I was changing clothes, had just put deodorant on, and was about to spray a little cucumber melon on."
"One of the girls that regularly picked on me decided that today was the day. She caught me off guard and sprayed love spell directly into my face while screaming 'There. Now you won't smell like old lady a**' and laughing. All the other girls was laughing too until they realized I was coughing and was having trouble breathing."
"She had literally sprayed it down my mouth and nose. One of the girls panicked and went and got the teacher. The teacher took me to the office and called my parents. By the time my parents got to the school I was fine but, they decided to send me home anyways."
"The next day letters was sent home to other parents letting them know that love spell was banned from school because it was triggering kids with asthma. I don't have asthma but, I guess the teachers seen the incident as the perfect time to finally get rid of the smell once and for all."
"To this day, if I smell a hint of love spell I instantly start gagging. So glade it's gone.😉😉"-RiseandRiseagain1814
It's Cool To Care Now
"Apathy. It used to be really cool to not be invested in anything, but it seems like social media has made having hobbies and passions easier to with other likeminded people."-The_Most_Superb
"Fortunately I chose a co-op internship program which helped set up my career, but I regret not joining many clubs/activities because doing things was considered uncool."
"I think 21 jump street laid it out perfectly. The older kids were so confused about the newer high school kids actually giving a sh*t. Too accurate!"-swerve408
The Landscape Of Who's In Control
"Honestly, I'll take all of these back if I never have to see another 'influencer' again. Sure, back in the day you had your Paris Hiltons and your Kim Kardashians but they were easily ignored and only took up a niche portion of culture."
"Now, influencers have basically dominated every aspect of pop culture. Videos game culture is so dominated by streaming and YouTubers that meeting someone who 'likes video games' means something completely different from, say, 2007 or so."-TheRedCap
Looking back, maybe we weren't as cool as we thought we were. Then again, why were we so concerned about our hair, our silly bands, or any of these other things that faded with time, as everything must?
The coolest thing we can do in the present is just be ourselves.
Nobody wants to die alone. That is one of life's more basic truths. We all hope there is going to be a familiar hand to hold and a pair of eyes that witnessed our lives looking into us as we drift off to meet our maker. That feels like the basics of marriage. Well that and a permanent booty call.
That's why a lot of people turn to a trusted friend to maybe one day be a love interest. It's always good to have a fail-safe and a back up. And the older you get the more the chase becomes too much run through, so why not make it easy? It's like... "hey so and so... you wanna get hitched by this date, in case?"
BAM! Instant I Do.
Redditor u/shansnewone wanted the betrothed out there to tell us about their relationship successes and fails, by asking:
Couples who got married on the basis: "if we're both not married by (x) years old, we'll marry each other" how did things work out?
I am out of options. Unless all of my prior fail safes current relationships don't pan out, I'm going to the grave alone. I'm too tired to look, or too lazy. Potato/potatoe... let's see who has better luck.
Decades Laterjust married love GIFGiphy
"Yep, worked out pretty well. We've known each other for close to 30 years now and jokingly said something similar years ago. Anyway, we got married almost 6 years ago and pretty happy with the situation."
"We were best friends for a long time in high school, I was really into her but the feeling wasn't mutual. I told her if we were single 5 years from now I could see us getting together and getting married. I moved across the country and we mostly lost touch for a couple years, but then almost exactly five years after I'd said that, we reconnected and I told here I was miserable where I was."
"She had just moved to a new city, I moved in with her, and we got together pretty quick. In two weeks, that'll have been six years ago. We just bought a house and our daughter's first birthday is next month. It was rocky at first, since we were both escaping miserable situations and living in a studio apartment, but everything worked out and I live with my best friend."
She said yes...
"Funny enough, there was a girl I liked in High School, but I was 17 and she was 15. She asked me out but I said no because I just got a girlfriend, but I was interested in her and I told her. She said if I'm single by the time I'm 25, can we get married? I was like yeah sure. I asked her when she was 25 if she was single. She said yes. Reminded her about our agreement and she said "I'm only really dating girls right now." So yeah."
Jumped the gun a little...
"I made this arrangement with my best friend from college. We spent so much time together, people thought we were dating and it led to some strife in many of my possible relationships because they saw her as a threat. But that wasn't the nature of our relationship. Strictly friends, I had interest in her one time but was quickly friendzoned and didn't try to make any advances. She never held interest in me."
"One night, close to the end of college, we went out and grabbed some beer at a local place and were transparent that we could see ourselves getting married to one another. We made an agreement that if, by the age of 30 pr 35 (I can't remember now), we were both single, we would get married. After college, we went our separate ways—I continued with school, she got a job."
"We talked inconsistently (maybe once every few months?) for about 2 years. I happened to be in her city one day in 2020 and we grabbed coffee. We talked a little more after that, then things REALLY picked up here in the last few months. We're engaged, getting married in March. Jumped the gun a little, but dammit this is the best decision and relationship I've ever been in."
In the End...This Is Absolutely Ridiculous Mandy Moore GIF by This Is UsGiphy
"Couple I knew both thought very highly of themselves and thought they could do better than the other person. They're now together and miserable."
Well those sound pleasant enough. Well, most of them do. But hey, when you gotta go with what's in front of you, you can't beg. Maybe others had it better.
Cheers to Us...Season 17 Cheers GIF by The BacheloretteGiphy
"Had an agreement. Both were married far before the date. Did however go out for drinks to celebrate the fact that we were both happily married!"
"I know a couple who were best friends but dating other people for about 15 years. No one was surprised when they finally started dating and got married, but they didn't have an agreement like you mention. They just finally got over the idea that love had to start with romance rather than friendship."
What happens... happens...
"My best friend dated this chick through high school. They broke up to go to separate colleges, dated other people obviously. Got back in town after graduating, got back together, got married. That was like 19 years and 3 kids ago. He was telling me they never would've lasted a year if they didn't separate for the 4 years of college."
This is a date?!
"My husband and I were friends. I said ,"if you don't have a date on Valentine's Day, why don't you come over and we can drink/ hang out." ( it was senior year of college… this was everyone's past time on non football days or club nights) Valentines came, and we both had nothing to do. He came over with beer AND yellow/red flowers."
"He offered to take me to dinner. I turned around and looked at my roommate like," huh?! Ooohhhhh... This is a date?!" I accepted the flowers and the 6 pack, got changed and 3 days later I just knew he was the one I wanted to annoy for a lifetime. We were swimming in the Jupiter inlet and I said "I think we should get married" he said "Yep. Sounds like a plan."
"That's all it took… friends + valentines + trajectory change = 2 kids, 2 careers, 6 moves, 1 serous illness. We survived together as a team, and It will be 25 years together in February. Man, I got it right and I couldn't even think of anyone better a fit for me. It's been AWESOME!!!"
Let's Party...Marriage Love GIFGiphy
"In my case i had good friend studying together abroad who had boyfriend."
"I told her to call me when she's free. Two years later she came to work to my city she was already free. She called me and we went to a party where after an hour or two we decided to be together and we are for 10 years."
I'm comforted by a lot of this. Maybe I'll meet some new back ups. And then love will overcome. Anybody free for a chat? ;)
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Romance novels, romantic films and TV shows, advertisements, and society at large has made the gift of flowers a symbol of love, condolences, well wishes, or congratulations.
The actual act of giving flowers goes back centuries to ancient Greece, China, Egypt, the Victorian Era, and has evolved even in the last 100 years. In 1917, advertisers made giving flowers to mothers and grandmothers on Mother's Day a staple of the holiday.
Different eras and cultures have changed the way we view the importance of flowers or even the meaning behind the type of flower we are gifting. It shifted to become a gendered gesture most prodominantly in the Victorian Era as a way to express specific feelings for a romantic partner because it wasn't acceptable to share emotions outwardly.
For some reason, we still emphasize that gendered nature and restrict flower-giving to men and flower receiving to women. But what's wrong with a man getting flowers from a woman?
For some reason, we need to come up with an alternative gift for men so they don't feel emasculated (and that's on toxic masculinity). We wanted to find out what those gifts are.
So Redditor Charn22 asked:
"What is the male equivalent of buying a women flowers?"
Let's see what the men have to say.
Different kind of flower.
"I also enjoy flowers. My wife gets me the best Indica."
"Last Friday after a long day of work my girlfriend, who doesn't like weed, surprised me with a nice bag of Indica and told me to smoke for the weekend."
"I've been internally thinking about marriage a lot more this last week…"
"That's is what sealed the deal for our marriage!! She hunted down my favorite strain 100% pure DJ Short Blueberry…I looked for months found variations but never the original…made my year and was just a 'I love you gift,' no occasion; a keeper! 10 years and two kids later still in love!"
"That's love there."
Don't buy anything at all.
"Thoughtful, romantic materialistic items are great, however I'd be more than satisfied with a hug and a kiss."
"Back rub. My wife actually enjoys rubbing my back. It's good to be me."
It's the little things.
"Some guys like gifts, some guys don't. I don't like gifts, but that's also because I've dated spoiled rich girls who expected them and that experience sort of ruined it for me. But there are other ways to show appreciation."
"My current girlfriend does this one thing that always makes me smile. I am a heavy sleeper and I have a hard time getting up early in the morning. She's a morning person so she's always up ahead of me so now she likes to get up while I'm still sleeping and makes coffee for me. She doesn't even drink coffee and at first didn't even know what proportions to use."
"It makes me smile every time because getting my morning coffee is the first thing I do every day. It's a small gesture but it's one I really appreciate because I always wake up very sleepy. She usually wakes me up getting back in bed and now that I know what she's doing, it gives me a great opportunity to show my appreciation in another way."
"You should, like, marry her and stuff."
"I just about cried when my last GF first made me coffee in the morning... when no one's ever done that for you before it's a seriously big deal!"
"Nice to know some men appreciate it. My ex always took me doing stuff like that for granted. I even got up and did it DESPITE not being a morning person at all, but I was always a lighter sleeper so I was usually up first anyway."
Who doesn't love snacks?
"My late husband disliked going into stores, so I would often buy his favourite treats for him while shopping."
"Love me some snacks. Ice cream too. My son usually gets 'em all but sometimes the wife remembers mine and I'm stoked when she does."
"My ex loved 6 packs of beer and a foot long Bellacino's chicken grinder. I gave him that one year for Valentine's Day along with a VHS tape full of MMA fight matches to watch instead of going out to dinner. He almost cried. That was a good day."
Food is the way to a mans heart.
"'Honey, I was passing your favorite restaurant and I picked you up a cheeseburger and onion rings. I hope that's ok.' Yes, it's ok."
"My wife would have to call me to let me know she ran out of gas driving around trying to decide which place to stop at."
"I'd marry a woman who does that twice. hot diggity!"
Actually, maybe flowers aren't that bad of an idea.
"Buying a guy flowers."
"I would be very touched if a girl gave me flowers. I would never forget that."
"I love it when my fiancé buys me flowers. They look nice in the house, they smell nice, and it's a gift showing they care about me! There is literally no down side… unless it would completely shatter someone's fragile masculinity."
"My wife doesn't like getting cut flowers because she would prefer they didn't die for her "enjoyment." Potted flowers are okay."
"I don't dislike flowers, they are just invisible to me. If my wife puts a vase of flowers somewhere, I won't even notice until she points them out. Several times in the past, she has gone away for a week and come back and asked why I haven't thrown away the dead flowers. I never even noticed there were flowers there, let alone that they died, lol."
But it's not for everyone, just as not all women like flowers either.
"So I've seen men mention this a number of times on reddit. I therefore decided to get my partner some for his birthday (in addition to other things), and he was NOT impressed. It sucked."
"First time I ever bought flowers for a boyfriend he made it very awkward. 'Um, thanks? You don't buy men flowers.' Strict gender role adherence can really make a person miss out on small joys!"
"A direct equivalent would just be a nice plant. Personally I'm not very into flowers, they seem impractical because they wilt away after a few days. But a nice plant that can stick around for a while would be cool."
There are plenty of ways you can treat your partner and show your appreciation for them. What's important to remember that, regardless of gender, everyone is different.
We have to be specific and pay attention to our partners. Treating them like they deserve to be treated, with respect and adoration, is important and necessary to making them feel appreciated.
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The style and manner of our conversations fluctuate depending on social or professional environments.
But in a stressful work environment, many of us are inclined to drop the f-bomb but choose not to for the sake of professionalism.
Is there a way to professionally tell someone to F off without actually using those exact words?
This is something that was explored on an Ask Reddit thread when user daniabear asked:
"How can someone say 'f'k you' in a professional situation?"
Getting a supervisor involved was mentioned as an intimidation tactic.
Using A Superior
"I spoke with your supervisor about the matter and they agree with me."
"*just CCing the supervisor*"
"My favorite is when a co-worker sends me an email and CCs all pertinent supervisors under the guise of 'I've told you repeatedly about X not working and months later it's still not working."'
"And then I go dig up my original, professional reply that explained how they were doing it wrong and that X is in fact working just fine, please just follow procedure. I forward that original reply with no explanation to the whole thread as a response to the very unprofessional tantrum they're currently throwing."
"Then I sit back, sip my coffee and wait. I typically turn on my read receipt for these types of communications so I can sense the disturbance in the force in real time."
Read The Email
"When someone asks in an email for something you already sent them, you just forward the original email."
"It pisses me off that I have to keep track of what's been said and when, just to be able to find it and point to it - while it's easy for the a**hole who's not paying attention to just ask again, and again."
If read between the lines, these statements is like flipping the bird.
"I've taken your idea/feedback/POV under advisement. Thank you for your contribution."
Basically, You're Wrong
"I humbly disagree with your opinion."
Finding The Tone
"There's nuance in context. If I'm in a meeting (in person or remote) and I say 'let's talk about that offline'. That might be neutral as something is another topic or concern or the flow or time constraints are such that, that's more ideal. It can also mean other things. I think most people know the difference."
There was room for some creativity.
I Hear You
"With all DUE respect."
"'With all due respect.... f'k you' and then push send"
Kill Them With Kindness
"I hope your day is as lovely as you are."
A Slight Misinterpretation
Say to the person 'You should go f'k off eh!'"
"They will to the predicable thing, act shocked/offended and say something like 'Excuse Me?!' or 'Pardon me?!?!' or "WHAAAT?!!!"
"Then you 'repeat' yourself 'I said, You should go for coffee."
The Final Destination
"Perhaps the road less traveled is where you belong."
"Your objections have been duly noted and summarily overruled."
The responses varied depending on the work situation.
I work in entertainment. Many people in the industry are very passionate and they are not limited to those we see on stage and screen.
A production team is comprised of individuals who have integrity and have no problem mincing words when things go awry.
In my experience, when the occasional f-bomb is dropped in a non-combative situation, no one bats an eye.
What immediately follows is a collective, unspoken understanding that something didn't go over well, and everyone goes about their business.
We leave the drama for the stage.