People Who Tried To Self-Diagnose But Were Totally Off Base Share Their Stories
Image by Gerald Oswald from Pixabay

You ever get a migraine and think you have a brain tumor, and you get super paranoid about it, but then when you go to the doctor, they just tell you it's from stress from your emotional trauma? Yeah, me neither. But thanks too the beauty/awfulness of the World Wide Web, we can all Google our symptoms and assume we're dying together.


Take a look at these poor folks who misdiagnosed themselves. Lay off the WebMD next time! Trust me!!!

U/PizzaFlavoredRanch asked: What self-diagnosis did you give yourself that turned out to be completly wrong?

When you automatically go to the worst case scenario, you may end up looking really f*cking stupid.

Wow, I hate this.

I thought I had worms when I pooped so I fished one out from my poo and put it in a little box and showed the doctor. Turns out it was a noodle.

Gowhippy

Have you started chewing more?

Idk-hereiam

​My boobs hurt reading this.

Posing Saturday Night Live GIFGiphy

TL;DR: (not) breast cancer.

When I was a teen I woke up with mild boob pain, but told myself that it was all in my head and went about my day. As you do.

But by the time midday rolled around it was so bad that I was literally hunched over, groping the offending titty in the middle of class. It felt like it was on fire and trying to shoot off my chest, and I had to hold on tight to keep it attached.

It couldn't be calmed, so I got my dad to come pick me up from school and take me to the hospital. I for sure had breast cancer, but we did some of his errands before going to the ER because he didn't think it was anything really serious. The whole time I was holding my chest and stifling cries because I was definitely about to die from breast cancer and it really f*cking hurt. Edit: not his fault, I didn't clue him in to how bad it actually was.

At the ER I embarrassed myself further by telling them all of this. Imagine being the doctor/ nurse that has to reassure a 15 year old that she's not dying from "acute breast cancer". Pretty sure they were laughing at me in the nurse's station.

Anyway, it turned out that I had an infected abscess, and it was decided that the best way to get it all out was to squeeze it through my nipple. The (army) doc went at it like he was replacing engine parts, knee on the bed, both hands grabbing my poor tiddy like it owed him money or something; I remember hating how much his hands were shaking from the effort, for some reason it made me ridiculously nauseous. I didn't even get the courtesy of a safe word. They told me that I screamed and passed out briefly, and I don't remember much after that except really appreciating the painkillers and a few days off school.

Not having breast cancer was also pretty cool

FizzleKit10

​Mazel tov.

When I was 11, I convinced myself I was bleeding to death. I thought I was peeing or pooping buckets of blood and that's definitely not good. Right before I went to say goodbye to my family, I remembered that thing they told us about in sex ed like 6 months ago. It was a period. I got my period.

Wildboywifey

​Oftentimes, misdiagnosis can come with an underlying mental illness. It’s insane what anxiety can do to a person.

​Hypochondria is no joke.

I had hypochondria as a teen. The most horrifying by far was when I gave myself an AIDS diagnosis and kept it all to myself. Only now, many years later have I been able to share this with my closest friends. I was sure I wasn't going to see my 18th birthday. There was no way possible I could've had it and I didn't have any symptoms.

This internal panic lasted for about two months and became to a halt because I realized how ridicilous it was. With that stopped also my hypochondriatic thoughts once and for all.

I know some people aren't that lucky and can't shut it down with just the power of logic. That's why hypochondria is no joke. That sh*t eats you up inside.

Patezkie

Been there.

Tired Pre Code GIF by Turner Classic MoviesGiphy

I diagnosed myself with a brain tumour due to headaches. Was so convinced that I got a CT scan and turned out there was nothing wrong. Anxiety is a b*tch and will help convince you of anything negative.

Oddsock135

I suffered constant headaches at one point. Turned out I was very dehydrated as I don't often drink.

0olTo0

Panic attacks will do that to you.

I had just moved to a different country and had to do a 14 day quarantine. By the 8th day I started having stroke-like symptoms. Having trouble breathing, heart palpitations, body going numb, not being able to speak properly. I was sure I was going to die and that it was definitely a stroke or a heart attack. I got taken to the hospital only to be diagnosed with panic/anxiety disorder. It didn't make sense to me at the time, but now it does.

Mayaade

This is terrifying.

I was having frequent episodes where my vision would blur, my tongue felt swollen, my speech would get slurred, my concentration would drop to null, I would stagger, I would have goose bumps. These symptoms would come all at once and would last for hours. Once they were gone, I felt exhausted.

I thought for sure that it was something neurological. Lots of testing later, turns out it was a conversion disorder. The symptoms were an adverse reaction to stress and anxiety.

Treatment is helping (drugs, therapy, etc.). The episodes are a lot less frequent now, and also less severe. But I was forced to retire because of this. I didn't like that part. Still having trouble adjusting to that part.

Sparky62075

While they do suck sometimes, believe it or not, misdiagnoses can come with unexpected surprises.

That would’ve been some really bad ceviche.

pregnant homer simpson GIFGiphy

My aunt and I both got really sick, like throwing up for almost two weeks. Decided we had gotten food poisoning from some bad ceviche at a family gathering.

Nope! We were both pregnant. Had babies three weeks apart.

Mountainmorticia

Gross, but better than the alternative.

One time I felt this terrible feeling in my gut when I was on my way to school. I had been feeling uncomfortable all morning but then it hit me much worse, it was this sharp pain I couldn't ignore anymore; It was awful. I thought I was dying. I told my mom "take me to the ER" she said "what's wrong? Can it wait?" And I said "no, Mom, I think I'm dying! Something ruptured! I feel like I'm being stabbed!" And she spun around like you see in the movies and started speeding and I curled over. I thought I was about to pass out the pain was so bad and then.... then I farted.

So I sat back up and said "It's okay. I'm better now" in the calmest possible voice to my mom- who at this point was panicking and driving like 90 in a 50- and she turned to me and said "did you just fart?" And she turned the car back around and took me to school. We never spoke about it again.

Throwawayable5

​Same.

Narcolepsy, turns out I'm just built different and need like 13 hours of sleep to feel satisfied.

I_am_door

That's called hypersomnia.

TheolympiansYT

In regards to that last one, I also have hypersomnia and it SUCKS. But hey, it just means more nap time.

Moral of the story, go to your freakin' doctor. It's always better to be safe then sorry, and the copay is less expensive than a future ER visit. Do future-you a favor and get it taken care of early

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