I have no idea how to be a parent. I also will never have to know as I have no plans to raise delinquents... sorry, "children" as a life goal. One of the reasons why it's never been on my bucket list is because I believe it to be a calling not designed for everyone. Now, just because it's not in my future doesn't mean I can't give an opinion or five about how to not do it wrong. There are just some obvious "logics" we can all attest to.
Redditor u/sham-da-man wanted to hear about all the times parents were just wrong by asking...What is the worst parent logic you know?
A lot of parenting is in the moment action. You have to think on the fly, just be sure you're not flying off the rails. There are a few ideas that really need to be thought out before implemented. Adults really should dig into their own pasts more and review what did and didn't work for their growth.
Schitts Creek Please GIF by CBCIt's you not them...
"My child is incapable of doing wrong, therefore if you have a problem with how my child is behaving, it's your fault."
X_PRSN
"Sounds like my ex gf's mom. Her son could bomb a building and she'd still find a way to defend him. Seriously dude beats his wife and she just tells her daughter-in-law to 'Just don't do things that piss him off.'"
LightningEdge756
1 4 All...
"If 1 kid did something bad everyone is at fault."
WatsonzKamikaze
"One of the many reasons I hated the Army. If there's one thing I learned there, it's that work ethic, obedience, and integrity meant nothing, so there was no point to trying. Got out as soon as I could. Joining was the worst decision of my life."
Don't Cry
dean winters crying GIF by MayhemGiphy"The way to calm a crying child is to shout in their face and threaten to take things they love away. That'll work."
The_Cybermonkey
Cycles...
"'My parents beat the hell out of me and I turned out okay, so it's alright if I beat the hell out of my kids.' You didn't turn out okay."
bigtimejohnny
"This is how cycles of abuse, drug addictions and other problems start. No matter what you do abuse is abuse."
Tactical_Gam3r
See now much of that feels like a whole lot of mess. Reverse psychology should always have a purpose. You don't just play with younger brains merely because you think you can. That can cause a lifetime of damage, for everyone involved. My mother use to wash my mouth out with soap if I used foul language, now... I curse like a trucker and much of what I learned was angled at her. She could have found a few other options. The next group of people will understand.
Staying Single...
"Focus on your studies, no talking to people/girls until you graduate from college! (5 seconds after graduating college) we want grandkids, how come you don't have a gf/wife?"
StangAce
"Oh my gosh, I can totally relate."
"My parents didn't allow any of us to date while growing up, then wonder when as adults we couldn't get boyfriends/girlfriends".
"They found out I was trying to date a girl when I was in middle school and, hoo, boy, got a whipping and was told I couldn't date until I was 16. When I turned 16, I was told I could only date daughters of people they knew. (Small community, and really wasn't interested in any of the "approved list.)"
"Messed me up so bad that I've been single my whole life, and when I do meet someone I'm interested in, I'm so freaking awkward I blow any chance I may have had. Being on Reddit and looking back I realize I had "nice guy" syndrome. Never went to stalking people but made me realize, oh, crap, I was that guy."
ozarkbozark
Anything?
"'You can grow up to be anything you want!' -I want to be a musician 'Don't you want a real career? Why not a doctor or lawyer? Accountant maybe?' -but.... ok."
RickyGrntor
"I had the same thing happen when I said I wanted to be an author. It's even worse when I realised that my Mum has published 2 books before."
toitnups1111
Back when...
good for you yes GIF by Brimstone (The Grindhouse Radio, Hound Comics)Giphy"'I didn't have computers as a child and played outside as a child. That means you gotta do that too.' Yeah well medieval people threw their poop in the street, maybe we should do that too."
Granulous
Forced Educations
"Grew up with Indian parents and met a lot of Indian community. The below didn't necessarily happen to me, but I've seen it happen to friends. Not giving your kids privacy and hovering over them a lot. You can't expect them to be well adjusted adults if you direct their entire lives. Allow them to make mistakes (within reason) and help them learn. Don't beat them up over mistakes."
"Stop taking elementary and middle school grades so seriously. Let them learn at their own pace, support where needed, and don't make education a punishment. Don't force them to do more 'homework' after school and school homework is over unless they come to you for help with a subject. Feed their natural curiosities - don't force them to sit down and memorize multiplication tables under threat of punishment. (Looking at you dad 😠)."
ThatIndianBoi
Too Loud
Scream GIF by OriginalsGiphy"I'm gonna scream at my child to do better at school - that's gonna teach him/her to see education as valuable."
FatalK00kie
Burn through it...
"The is the ultimate answer. My mom thinks she can just burn through my dad's life savings (he passed) because she wants to live a life of Luxury she didn’t earn. She has nowhere close to enough to live how she is for the next 10 years. Her solution is for her 'kids' to take care of her when she needs help. Oh, and she also cancelled her life insurance policy the week after he died as well."
doyouhaveanypaper
Memories
"I don't remember it, that means it never happened and you should just let it go."
TheGemli
"My mom does this to me all the time, to this day, and I’m 28. She’ll say she doesn’t remember and I’m making it up if I don’t give her an exact example. But then she’ll ask me to remind her of things or he’ll her recall something because I have 'such a good memory.'"
WitchyWeebOfMidwest
Conversations
“'You say anything that means you’re talking back' talking with parents isn’t an easy thing to do, and they wonder why we don’t conversate."
TruelyAlienic
'living under my roof'
"To be honest there is some truth to the 'living under my roof' quote. I mean there are certain rules in a family that apply to every member, since a family is a small community. It gives structure and makes life easier for everyone. When I was still living with my parents there were rules which I didn't like as a teen, I doubted and at times challenged them."
"When no amount of conversation would convince me, my parents would say that this was their house and their rules. As long as I was living there I needed to follow them. To me that's fair enough. As long as those rules are within reason. Having my own family now, we have our own rules."
allpasswordstaken_
No Girl
No Way Beer GIF by BuschGiphy"My mom thinks she can do, or say whatever she wants to me, my wife, and future children. Because she gave birth to me and I need to structure my life around her needs, edit myself to accommodate her bad behavior. As well as apologize to myself for misunderstanding her devotion and hard work at all times. And always agree with her."
In or Out?
"'Why don't you go out more often. You have no friends and you absolutely social skills etc. Be a normal child, not a shut in freak.'"
"me goes out, socializes with people..."
"'You don't study anything. Instead of engaging in your moronic discussions and philosophy crapping with your friends, do something productive."
CrnaZharulja
No "Good" Deed
"Kids should be quiet and just follow parent commands with no questioning to be a 'good kid.' Blind loyalty is garbage and teaches bad lessons... I'd hope to have kids who to some degree disagree with me and argue their side of an issue so we can come to terms we agree on."
big_nothing_burger
I need to talk...
the office therapy GIFGiphy"That sh*t my mom pulls where if I mention I want therapy but we don't have enough money. She says 'It's not about money, it's about getting you there,' but then, when I mention therapy WITHOUT mentioning money, she's all 'Well, how do you expect to pay for that?' I think she just wants me to be f**ked up because she has religious trauma that f**ked her up as a child."
WitchWhoLovesTacos
I had to stay in
"One time I was entering high school and finally making friends for the first time. I was going out every night and having so much fun. The weather had just begun to turn nice and the days longer (spring) and I was about to head out again for the night. My mom stopped me and told me I couldn't go."
"I demanded an explanation. 'You've been out every night, you have to stay home tonight.' I had to stay in. No reason except I'd been out too much. Did she even talk to me or spend time with me? LOL no."
lazarus870
Dear parents, think before you speak. "Oh look, logic I can share!" Also think about what worked for you as a child. Contradiction only breeds more chaos. That is the easiest lesson of all.
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.